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Hello all! First, a huge thanks to everyone who contributed to the fall fundraiser — thank you! All who donated will be getting a personal thank you this week, but I wanted to express my gratitude to the world now. And thanks for being so nice to the hilarious Uncle Lumpy in my absence. He was kind enough to cull the best comments for this week, though I alone choose the top comment of the week:

“My name is Judge Alan Parker. You panned my book. Prepare to die.” –LP2004

And yet we all must admit that the runners up are extremely hilarious!

Gasoline Alley: “This revelation heralded a disturbing new turn in Slim’s relationship with Clovia. ‘I want your your tongue all over my face Clovia! No — more slobber! Yeah, oh, yeah, that’s it! … Now, bark!’ –Cloudbuster

Luann: “WHAAAAAT? Are you saying that Quill is both an Australian and Luann’s boyfriend?! Thanks for reminding me, I almost forgot.” –Doyle

Gil Thorp: “This will all be worth it if he’s silent because he has a really high, silly voice, and he’s tired of people making fun of him, instead of the deep, dark secret we know it’s going to be.” –bbofun

One Big Happy: “This is like the most relaxed, chill version of The Raven ever. “So this raven comes into my room/I fed him some breakfast cereal and made him sleep in a doll bed/No biggie.” –Joe Blevins

“OMG! Mary Worth is turning into a geriatric lesbian porno right before our eyes.” –Baka Gaijin

Judge Parker: “OH THANK GOD! I’ve been on the edge of my seat for weeks wondering what pre-dinner drinks these twats would order!” –pugfuggly

9 Chickweed Lane: “Wait a minute… absolutely everything in this strip except the occasional one-off involving Thorax or the cat is about the psychologically unhealthy assertion of power through sexuality. Nazism, classical piano, dance, prejudice against homosexuals, religion, the organized priesthood, the legal system, friendship, psychotic breaks with reality, secret government surveillance, veterinary medicine, furniture, language, clothing, education… everything. These aren’t even characters, they are walking, junior high school-level manifestations of Freudian mental illness with self-parodyingly pretentious vocabularies. How did I never notice this before?” –Master Softheart

“Luann has morphed into a blow up sex doll. Even as an inanimate object she has more personality than Quill.” –Everything Is Better with Monkeys

Luann: “If her lips go back to skinny after this dance, I’m calling complete bullshit. A priest told me it can’t be done, no matter what the Internet says.” –Esther Blodgett

Dick Tracy: “This is what happens when you install Apple Maps on your space coupe.” –Naked Bunny with a Whip

Rex Morgan, M.D.: “Warning — absolutely NO ONE will be seated during the stirring glop-cutting sequence!” –Shrug (no coughing or paper crumpling, either)

Mary Worth: “Mary looks bored to death today. No wonder, since the subject has moved away from ‘Mary Worth is great’ for a whole ten seconds. I expect her to interrupt any minute now: ‘Okay, Shelly, blah blah, you work with homeless people or astronauts or zoo animals or whatever it is, I get it, blah blah blah, can we talk about ME, already?'” –Alison

Family Circus: “Last time Daddy picked someone to win that person lost and Daddy owed some big guys a lot of money.” –Liam

Thanks to everyone who put some scratch in my tip jar! To find out more about how you could be thanked in this spot, and more about sponsoring this site’s RSS feed, click here.

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Click the banner to contribute to the Comics Curmudgeon. Details here.

Did you know that they publish comic strips every day? It’s true! And without the heroic efforts of Josh Fruhlinger, some of them would slip through unread and worse, unmocked. Unless you’re willing to rise from bed every morning for the rest of your life with the words, “OK, gotta go read Luann now.”

Yeah, I didn’t think so!

Keeping the Comics Curmudgeon fresh and up to date is hard work! So twice a year I host a fundraiser to thank Josh for the time, effort, and talent he puts into giving newspaper comics every bit of the attention and respect they so richly deserve.

To contribute by credit card or PayPal, click the banner at the top of the page and follow the instructions on the secure PayPal site. To contribute by check or money order, email uncle.lumpy@comcast.net and I’ll reply with an address. Full details here, along with an index to the 50 banners in rotation at the top of the page and banners from previous fundraisers — more than 400 in all!

Thank you, generous readers!

— Uncle Lumpy

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Greetings, readers! A couple of points of interest. First, if you are in or near New York City and would like to see me read funny words at a reading Williamsburg, you will have the opportunity to do just that on Tuesday, October 15! I’ll be part of the always amazing/hilarious Animal Farm series, and I’ll be reading with other funny people at the Over the Eight bar at 594 Union Avenue in Brooklyn. Event info is here (that link is on Facebook, but you should be able to see it even if you are not a Facebook person).

Also! Your favorite Uncle Lumpy will be taking over for me for just over a week, starting tomorrow. I’ll be back with slightly extended comments of the week on Sunday the 20th. Until then, be good! And enjoy this comment of the week:

“Tommie probably extended her Italian vacation to attend the Realcon, the cosplay convention dedicated to postwar Italian neorealist film. She’s going as the bicycle from The Bicycle Thief.” –David Lynch’s Pompadour

And the runners up! Very funny!

“‘Millions of shows to choose from,’ eh, Plato? Well, it’s good to know that I’ll be able to watch Fat Chuckling Nude Man on my forehead-mounted SillyScreen at home and on-the-go … until the devices are recalled after millions of fatalities, mostly involving the controversial ExtendoArm attachment.” –Joe Blevins

“Gee, Mrs. Rabbit, maybe if Rodney got a girlfriend he’d be too busy to rip you off every five minutes. Think big picture, lady.” –Digger

“‘Ah! Amigos! I am all wet!’ ‘So am I! I can’t fight in damp fatigues! They will chafe!’ ‘So it is agreed, then? We’ll go home to change?’ ‘Si. You win this time, wallcrawler.'” –pugfuggly

“It sounds like Mary’s announcing a terminal illness or something. ‘I’m sorry, Jeff. I too am going on a trip, but I won’t be coming back this time. It’s time to take my meddling to a higher plane … there are several things I need to have a word with Our Lord about.”” –Meg

“Alternate theory: The Fly III. This is how de-evolution works: Jeff Goldblum; Eric Stoltz; Francis from Momma.” –Crankenstank

Apartment 3-G: “When Reinhold Niebuhr wrote The Nature and Destiny of Man way back in the early 1940’s, he had no way of contemplating the actual end of human existence, which is apparently to be stuck in the middle of a pissing match between Lu Ann and a teenager. Not even Jesus himself can break this infinite loop. Well, it’s been nice knowing you, folks!” –The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan

“Ah, New York. If you can meddle there, you can meddle anywhere. Will the ceremony be hosted by Neil Patrick Harris as is now the custom for all award shows? Will Mary drop by the Daily Show and meddle Jon Stewart into not taking so much time off? Will she straighten out Elmo the Anti-Semite? Reduce soda size to 8 ounces? They need you, Mary, now more than ever.” –Gabacho

“I’m not one to praise the art in Mary Worth, but you have to admit they perfectly captured the face of suicidal despair on Doc Jeff as he drives his car off the pier and into the ocean. ‘Just one more burst of noise as she screams,’ Jeff is thinking, ‘and then the silence of death.'” –Voshkod

“Actually, he’s more like the fall leaves in that his veins have begun to shrink and close off in reaction to certain environmental factors in the weeks leading up to now.” –Chareth Cutestory

“So as long as you can do half-assed wordplay, there’s no cause for alarm? ‘He’ll be fine. He’s like dilapidated churches; his organs don’t work anymore.’ ‘He’s like the New York Giants; he shits the bed and chokes.’ ‘He’s like synthetic fabrics; he doesn’t breathe.'” –Doctor Handsome

Thanks to everyone who put some scratch in my tip jar! To find out more about how you could be thanked in this spot, and more about sponsoring this site’s RSS feed, click here.