Archive: metaposts

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Guys, I was looking at the numbers from my CafePress store, and it turns out that these Open Feedback Sharing items haven’t sold a million units yet, which doesn’t really make sense. So go click the clickies and buy what looks delightful to you! (Hint: It all looks delightful.)

And now that you’ve gone and done that, enjoy … your comment of the week!

This is my daughter, Anne Marie. The ‘Marie’ stands for ‘marionette.’ Because she’s a life sized puppet, see? Look upon her grim visage and her badly permed 80s hair, ye mortals, and tremble.” –bunivasal

And your runners up! Very funny!

Mary Worth: “Being healthy is being able to adapt. For example, I plan to grow a reflective exoskeleton to help me survive the radiation barrage as our sun goes supernova. Skol!” –La Cieca

“I don’t know about Sam, but Barfy’s name should be a dead giveaway why he’s not allowed in church.” –greghousesgf

“Someone should tell little PJ that pride is a deadly sin.” –Chip

“Yes, Spider-Man. The guy I’m pointing at in case anyone confuses two grown men dressed in spider-themed body suits. No, not you Scorpion … that guy … on Mosquitoman’s right … my right, your left…” –Kevin on Earth

“Mark Trail can change the size of his hand to ring any doorbell, no matter how tiny.” –Ned Ryerson

Bull, five seconds later: ‘A flask! THANK FUCKING GOD.'” –Windier E. Megatons

In his skin! Or, at least, in someone’s skin. Guido’s a skin-changer, Dad, but I didn’t want to tell you, because I know you hate Italians and eldritch horrors. You’re such a racist, Dad! In his thousand hearts, Guido may be a multifarious mass of gibbering mouths — some of them Italian — but in my heart, he’s the demon for me.” –Voshkod

“Oh, I thought Bull looked through the lost and found because he was laid off six months ago and needs stuff to fence on the street to keep from starving. So ‘keys to victory’? I’ll let him know you made that wisecrack.” –Alex Blaze

What happened to Mr. McKenzie? Did he die? Or did he leave you for a younger woman? That happened to a lady down the street. She had a bunch of cats. They ate part of her face when she died. Is that why you don’t have any cats?” –Christopher

“I’m not fooled — that little kid clearly came up with that pun in advance, and led into it deliberately. By William’s Rules Of Punsterism, this means the resulting pun is null and void, and the old lady gets to make two at him in turn. So … it’ll be a long week, is what I’m getting at.” –The Ben

“My sabermetrics analysis on the Mudlarks teams always begins with the same note each year: ‘Don’t assemble athletes around bonfire at start of season inhaling smoke fumes.’ Glad to see that now the cheerleading squad is also enjoying the performance non-enhancement of smoke from old couches and other garbage.” –Chareth Cutestory

“Love the sympathetic look on the dog’s face. He knows. Dolly reads to him, too.” –Myrtle

“Mark, the surveyor’s results were very positive: we think that, with the right fracking chemicals, we can recover thousands of barrels per day from Rusty. I know you outdoor people can be sentimental, but fully exploiting him could create hundreds of good paying jobs that our state needs and help America become energy-independent.” –Master Softheart

“Did I miss the plotline in Gil Thorp where the population of Milford was replaced with aliens desperately trying to disguise themselves as human but just never quite managing to get it right? Or was that just the premise of the strip from day one?” –Dragon of Life

“It’s clear in the first panel of the Gil Thorp strip that the young girl is wearing a mask (see that line going down the side of her ‘face’?) Thusly, it can be safely assumed this is the nefarious she-demon that requires the annual sacrifice to ensure the football team is … okay … at best?” –Justin T.

“So a patron gives Herb a friendly, colloquial compliment on the quality of the food, and Herb’s reaction is to say, ‘Uh … OK’ before backing away slowly and panicking in the back room while peeking nervously over his shoulder at the man. This makes Heart & Soul the opposite of the Olive Garden. When you’re here, you’re treated like an untrustworthy and possibly dangerous stranger.” –Joe Blevins

Thanks to everyone who put some scratch in my tip jar! And as always, we must give thanks to our advertisers:

To find out more about how you could be thanked in this spot, and more about sponsoring this site’s RSS feed, click here.

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Open talks: on the one hand, they’re an invaluable therapeutic tool (NOTE: Open talks have not been certified by the American Psychological Association as a therapeutic tool and are not intended to diagnose or treat any mental illness), but on the other hand they can sometimes lead to feedback — unwelcome feedback. People need to be cautioned about the potential for such feedback! And what better way to caution everyone in advance than to wear a t-shirt with this logo on it?

This logo was designed by faithful reader and logo-design hero A-wel Cruiz and you can now buy it on just about any CafePress product you can imagine, including thongs, but if you want it on some product you don’t see there just email me and I’ll add it. Feedback! Sharing! Open feedback sharing fever! Catch it, by buying products from my CafePress store. And then send me pictures of you wearing them, so I can showcase them on the site!

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Well, I hope it’s still pleasant and late summer where you are, ladies and gentlemen. In any event, here is your comment of the week!

“Oh, Sarah. Always worrying about being too different while sitting in your veil of darkness. More Snickerdoodles?” –Notmydesk

And here is your list of runners up! Very funny!

Dog-and-hydrant jokes are the last refuge of the lazy comics writer. Whenever you run out of ideas, you can just go with ‘Marmaduke doesn’t use hydrants any more. He got a smartphone app for that.’ and all the four-year-olds who pay for home newspaper delivery will chuckle at the trenchant combination of social commentary and implied urine.” –Kibo

“The fox folds his arms. ‘Your scheme will fail, Weirdly. The balloon will pop due to atmospheric pressure. And definitely not because my secret Air Force will destroy it to prevent surveillance competition.'” –Bunivasal

“See, ‘full-fledged’ is actually an ornithological term, indicating that a baby bird has finally grown its feathers out and is ready to start flying. So in the context of airline school, it is a pun. Also, as the baby bird, or ‘chick’ of this scenario, Marylou says ‘Gotta go!’ because she is preparing to ‘leave the nest.’ Mell Lazarus trusts his audience to unpack the multilayered humor of this strip with the same agility that they use to decipher the Bible Code.” –damanoid

“Kinda sad Marylou didn’t just respond with ‘HOLY FUCK WHO’S FLYING THE PLANE'” –Tophat

This strip is the UR-Trail. Until now we have all been chained in a cave, witnessing shadows of Mark Trail strips on the cavern walls. Today we have walked outside, and seen Mark Trail for the first time, in its purest form: Threat … Punch … Yell … Jack Elrod.” –Dan

“My kids left for school at 7 a.m. Who does Jell-O shots at seven in the freakin’ morning? Oh, right, cartoonists.” –Bill Peschel

John Calder is your lieutenant governor. I voted for the other guy.” –Liam

“I have just realized that everyone knows who The Tarantula’s sister is. So why is he wearing the freakin’ mask? Is the mystery about which brother he is? Or does he just love the feeling of silk against his bewhiskered cheeks?” –Everything Is Better with Monkeys

“Reading a comic that’s been pimped out as a PSA is boring enough. This is even more boring than that. This reads like a comic about the strategy sessions for defining the PSA’s message.” –Cloudbuster

“WARNING: ‘OPEN TALK’ SESSIONS MAY RESULT IN FEEDBACK! GUESTS NOT PREPARED FOR FEEDBACK SHOULD TRY ‘CLOSED TALK’ OR ‘NO TALK’ SESSIONS.” –pugfuggly

“I have a simple wish for the characters in Better Half: that they be granted eyelids.” –Joe Blevins

Thanks to everyone who put some scratch in my tip jar! To find out more about how you could be thanked in this spot, and more about sponsoring this site’s RSS feed, click here.

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