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If it’s the end of the week, it must be time for the comment … of the week.

“Hey Slylock: did you know that reptiles also don’t sweat? Or have opposable thumbs? Or attend jewelry trade shows at hotels, generally? So maybe take it easy on the zoology-based evidence.” –pugfuggly

And time for the hilarious runners up!

“Picturing an arc of electricity instantly killing the kids right where they stand as Billy slices through a buried utility cable.” –Godless Communist Orc, on Twitter

“We live in a nation divided on the controversial subject of whether or not oculosexual couples should be allowed to marry, but it’s important to remember they suffer from the same major problem in bed as facinormative couples: premature ejaculation.” –jroggs

“The Keene kids obviously believe that dinosaurs bones and Egyptian sarcophagi would be found together in American soil because they’ve been taught they existed in the same time frame.” –But What Do I Know?

“Let me break it to you gently, Saul. You see this dog food dish labeled ‘Greta’? Well, that’s ironic, because…” –seismic-2

“Oh no, Gil wants us to go phone shopping with him. He says he hasn’t seen a rotary landline in 30 years and needs our help.” –Colonial

“Listen, I’m not here to judge. If that croc wants to look beautiful for just a few minutes, far from the prying eyes of their typical basking site, well, it’s internalized mammalist body standards, but what is that to you and me?” –I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV

“Hello? Front desk? A crocodile is about to leave with no pants on. He’s a reptile pervert! Intercept him before he gets to the lobby! Also, he’s a jewelry thief, I guess.” –Chance

“If I had to guess which comic strip character would be signing up for EST in order to transform their ability to experience living so that the situations they had been trying to change or had been putting up with clear up just in the process of life itself, Mr. Wilson would be far down on my list.” –Weaselboy

“I’m getting a real Game of Thrones vibe from this situation. It’s what happens when you see a character being menaced by violence, but you realize the greater danger is from the gross diseases that occur when someone doesn’t change their clothes or bathe for eight months at a time.” –BigTed

“I don’t think a city in southern California is an unlikely place for evil to infiltrate at all, actually. Really, it’d be stranger if it didn’t.” –Noel

“‘A little juvie never killed anyone’ — meanwhile, in the next panel, the other player appears to have gotten a tear drop tattoo from her time in the slammer.” –Philip

“One proscribed form of heresy was to depict Noah’s Ark as smaller than that its biblical proportions — the idea being that a small ark leads to a lot of ‘How did all the animals fit?’ scepticism. Given that this ark is so small that the camel has apparently died of overcrowding, I imagine the Hagar team will be getting their excommunication letters from the Vatican any day now.” –Schroduck

“The theological implications that Noah was just some doorknob who put animals on a boat while everyone else got about their lives after maybe their basements flooded after a particularly heavy rain are pretty heavy for a joke-a-day comic strip.” –Tabby Lavalamp

“Finally some good news about pluggers: ‘If it bleeds, we can kill it!’” –Ettorre

“Pluggers worry when they nick themselves shaving because any open wound might mean wearing a neck cone for two weeks.”–nescio

Remember: If you want an ad-free version of this site sent to you every day via email, for $3 a month you can become a Comics Curmudgeon newsletter subscriber! And if you never want to see banner ads on this site, and want to get cool comment-editing features to boot, for the same low price you can become a Comics Curmudgeon website subscriber! And if you just want to give me money directly, you can put some scratch in my tip jar, or back me on Patreon! Thanks to all for your support and readership!

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That’s right folks: it’s the 2nd Friday of the month, and you know what that means: LIVE ON-STAGE COMEDY IN LOS ANGELES, FROM YOURS TRULY!

Here is the Facebook event! Go forth and proclaim your allegiance to me and my stable of laffmasters!

Even if you steadfastly refuse to come to the show, you can still enjoy the comment of the week:

“‘Vape crime? Marty, let me tell you a little about how we roll around here,’ he said as he opened his anarchy-black Honeycrisp laptop. ‘Ain’t no crime if there ain’t no law.’” –I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV

And laugh at the hilarious runners up!

“Looking forward to seeing Dick Tracy punch out a guy with a vaguely telephone-shaped head a few weeks from now.” –Rex Thrillhouse, on Twitter

“So where’s the paisley??? You can’t drag in ‘paisley’ as some sort of dreadful decorating choice and then go with solid yellow walls and solid green countertops for the background in every dang panel. You bring up paisley, you effing DRAW THE PAISLEY, Tom Armstrong! I suppose you think that, just because no one wants you to draw the perennial poop, you can just sit down on the job like this. NO SIR! This is sheer laziness and phoning it in, and I, for one, am disgusted!” –Twinkles the Elf

“Okay, so, the writers of Dennis the Menace go, what, about half a century without any new named characters, then one Sunday we get CJ, Bailey, Dodger Dog and Coach Mark? Looks like somebody got a memo from Corporate, rebelled mentally for a few minutes, then decided, ‘Okay, fine, whatever.’” –Handsome Harry Backstayge, Idol of a Million Other Women

“While Toby and Mary chat, Ian sits down for lunch at his favorite back alley restaurant, ‘The Barkery.’ ‘Hmm, today’s special is hotdog.’” –Hibbleton

“I love how Mary insists that Toby inform her about any Greta sightings, instead of Saul himself. ‘Saul is in an emotionally sensitive place right, now, so it’s important that we manage the flow of information. Also, I have a few really great pearls of wisdom to lay on him, but they only really work within a few specific situations, so I really need to be there…’” –pugfuggly

“Look at Dagwood’s hunched posture, putting him eye-level against the smaller, but better postured, blue collar worker. The underpaid creative staff of Blondie are secretly exposing the bourgeois degeneracy of the upper middle class having to slouch and come down to the level of the newly empowered and rising working class. Daisy certainly senses the shift in societal relationships, and she is worried class resentment will spiral into violence.” –Philip

“I may not be his biggest fan … that of course would be the president of the Old Man Wynter Fan Club. But I do subscribe to their newsletter. It’s a good hate-read.” –Peanut Gallery

“Luigi Pirandello’s Six Creatures in Search of a Roadrunner and Coyote is one of his lesser known plays for a reason, but bravi to Slylock Fox for trying to stage it.” –Voshkod

“Joel with a smartphone feels very weirdly anachronistic. As opposed to the continued existence of Gasoline Alley as an ongoing comic, I guess.” –Tabby Lavalamp

“The donkey is actually the region’s top neurologist. Rufus is in good hooves.” –Mrs. Jon Arbuckle

“That’s true, our ad did say there was no dress code. I am now realizing that might have been a mistake, and should probably take the chance to fill the position while I haven’t been exposed to more than bare feet.” –pachoo

“I was all in on today’s strip, then I realized that the donut has eyebrows. Donuts don’t have eyebrows!!!” –Weaselboy

“I would have thought that Leroy was a sexist pig who would only interact at parties with women he saw as sex objects. But he is open to talk with a normal-looking woman if it serves humiliating his wife. Which is … better, I guess?” –Ettorre

“No chyrons? No crawls? No graphics? Santa Royale TV News fills the whole screen, Mary. You don’t have to sit a foot and a half away from the TV.” –astroboy

“Classic June Morgan. Someone tries to tell a story with possibly interesting conflict and June shuts that shit the fuck down.” –jroggs

“Mary still hasn’t connected this crime wave to the very existence of her favorite local TV show, The Lost Dog Hour.” –BigTed

“Gil’s eyes are simply welling up with tears. He’s probably flashing back to his own addiction in college. They used to call him Three Pack Thorp. Yep, he could tell you some stories. (He can’t, but I can dream.)” –made of wince

Remember: If you want an ad-free version of this site sent to you every day via email, for $3 a month you can become a Comics Curmudgeon newsletter subscriber! And if you never want to see banner ads on this site, and want to get cool comment-editing features to boot, for the same low price you can become a Comics Curmudgeon website subscriber! And if you just want to give me money directly, you can put some scratch in my tip jar, or back me on Patreon! Thanks to all for your support and readership!

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That’s right folks: next Friday is the 2nd Friday of the month, and you know what that means: LIVE ON-STAGE COMEDY IN LOS ANGELES, FROM YOURS TRULY!

Here is the Facebook event! Go forth and proclaim your allegiance to me and my stable of laffmasters!

To tide you over until then, though, you’re going to have to enjoy this comment of the week:

“‘I’m gonna spend the whole summer working more hours!’ ‘Good call.’ Sheesh. It’s like reading Goofus and Gallant, the Oops! All Gallant version.” –Peanut Gallery

Also enjoy your hilarious runners up!

“You’re a plugger if your wife’s stomach growls but you can’t hear it over the sound of gravel tumbling around inside her gizzard.” –nescio

“Is the guy in the van a full-fledged dog trafficker or did he just spot Greta and think, ‘Hey! A dog wearing a bowtie! I want it!’” –Weaselboy

“The pseudo-cannibalism of Shoe might be believable if the birds were defined as hawks. But the disillusioned characters have nothing of a predator’s spirit.” –Tonio

“In Dennis the Menace God’s grace comes from faith rather than works, as the light shines on the child who expresses the power of prayer even as his deeds seem evil in all other respects. In the second panel of Shoe God turns his back on the entire world, which completely deserves it.” –matt w

“It was only years later, as Elmo’s brain filled almost to the point of insanity, that it occurred to him that Mr. Bumstead’s slogan was only a pious invocation of civic religion, rather than a strict commandment.” –I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV

“So are these Milford girls employing some Gregg Hamm Techniquee (sic)? Because they seem to be fighting with their eyes closed. And recovering with their eyes closed. It really does tend to highlight their lovely eyelashes, but morale could better, it seems.” –made of wince

“‘I enjoy seeing the jealous faces of old men as they imagine us fucking’ said a character in a daily newspaper comic strip, apparently.” –pugfuggly

“Was there ever any explanation for what happened to Bunny, Beetle’s previous girlfriend? I’m guessing the artists got tired of having to remember which of the two young woman models to refer to. Every few seconds count when tee-time is approaching.” –Rube

“Y’know, I’m with Chunkhead on this one. You’re wearing a nylon trash bag on your body and a piece of cardboard on your head, both of which have been worn by hundreds of sweaty, hormonal teens/young adults, and frankly, no thank you. Poindexter may know the history of why we’ve done a thing for about a thousand years, but look at that haircut; that guy’s been in high school since the ’50s, he probably thinks Headband over there spends all her days in Home Ec, learning how to make pot roast for the fellas. (Yes, I realize I could look up their names. No, I will not look up the name of anyone who graces the panels of Rex Morgan, M.D., and this includes the titular character, whatever the fuck his name is.)” –els

“She sat as still as a statute, watching the little homunculus jabber about homework. They had warned her about bad trips, but nothing had really prepared her. Avoid the brown acid, she said to herself as the bookcase began to melt and the gremlin’s head began to rotate.” –Voshkod

“Kelly is gazing at Buzzcut as if a Poindexter with an Adam’s apple and a deep trove of historical trivia is a sex god. That’s not the way I remember high school, and I should know.” –Artist formerly known as Ben

“Knowing the History Channel, Grandpa is either a Nazi or an Ancient Alien. Both would explain a lot.” –Ettorre

“What an absolutely bizarre choice for expression and pose on the part of the artist. ‘Booyah, who’s watching TV? I’M watching TV!!!’” –ectojazzmage

Remember: If you want an ad-free version of this site sent to you every day via email, for $3 a month you can become a Comics Curmudgeon newsletter subscriber! And if you never want to see banner ads on this site, and want to get cool comment-editing features to boot, for the same low price you can become a Comics Curmudgeon website subscriber! And if you just want to give me money directly, you can put some scratch in my tip jar, or back me on Patreon! Thanks to all for your support and readership!