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You guys, I am very disappointed at the paucity of entries for the Hilariously Overwrought Rex and June Facial Expression Lookalike Contest! It’s possible that the Saturday of a holiday weekend isn’t the best possible time to post such a contest, but heck, I can’t control when Rex Morgan puts up its most hilarious panels. Anyway, assuming that you were all too busy grilling to get swept up in Overwrought Facial Expression theater, here’s a quick recap: imitate this panel (Rex and June at minimum, add Iris and Mabel if you want to up the degree of difficulty) and win eternal glory AND one item of your choice from the CafePress store.

While most of you have misplaced priorities and spent the weekend “spending time with your family” or “honoring those who died in America’s wars” instead of dressing up like cartoon characters and making funny faces, we did get a few entries. First up are the husband-and-wife team of faithful readers Nate and Hani. Nate is really pushing the envelope in terms of facial expression safety, and I like it! They also used advanced technology to actually insert themselves into a cartoon world.

Faithful readers Dr. Jeff Corey and Lucy Van Pelt (not their actual names) also used Photoshoppery to add to the verisimilitude of their entry, or at least I hope they did, because otherwise they’ve either crashed someone’s funeral or ruined a funeral service for one of their own loved ones:

Faithful reader Mibbitmaker swapped in characters from his Pop Culture Kids comic, who are imagining being someone else pretending to be someone else … well, it made my head hurt just a little.

And, finally, faithful reader Ricky Lee provides the three-way soap opera crossover I’ve always dreamed of:

So there’s your competition. CAN YOU DO BETTER?

ALSO, TOTALLY UNRELATED NOTE: I know that many of you are, like me, fans of Richard Thompson’s strip Cul De Sac. You probably know that Thompson has been stricken by Parkinson’s Disease, though he’s continuing with his great work. A bunch of other artists, including many names you’ll know, have banded together as Team Cul De Sac, have created their own takes on the strip’s characters, and are auctioning them off to raise money for Parkinson’s research. Check ’em out!

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The weekend can’t really start without your comment of the week, right?

“If one wasn’t familiar with Jack’s oeuvre, you might just think he’s a rabid pro-smoking activist. ‘Somebody’s trying to leave Flavor Country in my neck of the woods? NOT ON MY WATCH!'” –Jason

And then there are the runners up! Very funny!

“‘Dad, I’m already upset enough — why are you slapping me in the arm?!’ ‘Because it’ll be a love tap compared to what’ll happen if Worth finds out you’re giving up on LOOOOVE, honey. God, the woman’s insufferable!'” –Mibbitmaker

“Did that teddy bear break out in a smile between panels? ‘Do it! The world is ending, Dawn — nothing matters anymore! I have a gun!'” –Nate

“And do you have any other good news for me, Howie and Carm? I’m still waiting for that first-born you owe me.” –LP2004

“Really, Funky Winkerbean? I don’t want to hear the words ‘turn on’ in any of your strips unless they are followed by the words ‘the oven and stick your head in it.'” –Bootsy

“Now Peter is really concerned, because he remembers how things turned out with Captain America. The early euphoria, the awkward sex, the lingering shame, the gradual loss of contact. And they can’t afford for MJ to lose her job over this. Better go take a nap and ruminate on it a bit.” –Ulysses Pornstache III

“Dagwood is concerned that his extremely square son might be in over his head in the world of DIY punk. When he learns that the boy is, instead, merely a consumerist sheep, he knows that he should feel relieved, but he just feels hollow and confused. ‘What have I raised?’ he wonders. ‘Is this just the times? If that haircut isn’t ironic, what is it?'” –Meeskite

“‘Ha ha, good one, Dad!’ No. Not a good one. Not a good one at all.” –Blaise Marcoux

“Nothing says ‘happiest days of our lives’ quite like grayscale balloons.” –Nekrotzar

“I have never seen a teacher so jazzed about being appreciated as Mr. Green.” –Mumblix Grumph

“We call it the Tranquility Room because it’s the only room in the building where the walls aren’t painted that godawful burnt orange.” –Francisco Arrowroot

“Dawn, I hope you know it’s nothing personal. I just like my women blonde and sleeveless.” –GDBenz

“Pluggers apparently need, like, 6 pages of obits. They die in so many ways!” –Chris B

I must thanks to all who put some cash into my tip jar! And we must give thanks to our advertisers:

• A paranormal romance: After being plagued by strange dreams involving a mysterious man, 16-year-old Cat Townsend discovers not only do mythological figures such as genies exist but a particularly powerful one wants to transfer his powers to her.
• Raymond Chandler at the ashram: What do you call a murder mystery made with a cup of humor, a dash of romance, and a sprig of mysticism, then rolled in chick-lit and sprinkled with some hot stuff? Just Stab Me In The Eye.

To find out more about how you could be thanked in this spot, and more about sponsoring this site’s RSS feed, click here.

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Let us waste no time in sending you off into your weekend, COTW-style!

“Dawn Weston got dumped by e-mail? Is this 1998? The modern young person dumps a mate by pinning pics of dead flowers, rotting fish, and a lolcat saying ‘It’s over!’ to their Pinterist page.” –Ed Dravecky

The runners up — also extremely hilarious!

“To investigate this crime thoroughly, Mark will need to go to both Gene’s fishing camp and to the victim’s as well. But maybe he was actually shot by yet a third rival? Better check out all the fishing camps, throughout the entire northern part of the state! Of course, to alleviate suspicion of what he’s doing there, Mark will have to go undercover by actually renting a boat and going fishing, at each site. Boy, won’t Mark have some great tales to share with Rusty when he gets home!” –seismic-2

“It appears that Gene is about to give Mark a noogie and Mark is trying to give Gene a reach around wedgie. This is the way guys greet one another. In prison.” –LoFoMoFo

“So right after ‘Get Up, Stand Up’, the radio starts to play Marley’s ‘Smoke Two Joints’. Snuffy keeps the funky dance, miming smoking a huge doobie. Because that’s totally in character, right? If this strip isn’t an insane drug vision, I’ve been reading it wrong for four decades.” –Hogenmogen

“Yes, now that Gina’s ponytail is finally going to disappear (please please), Nina’s collar will replace it in my nightmares.” –Poteet

“I do hope that Bobby and Gina have Mary back for each life decision they make to heap adulation on her again and again. ‘I know that many of you think that this new upstairs bathroom was made possible by Home Designs Ltd, but really it was Mary Worth! She made it all possible! Let us toast to her and that small pewter dish of soaps shaped like a scallop shell!'” –geekwhisperer

“It’s not Dawn. Wilbur’s toilet finally has had enough.” –imperturbe

“I suspect Dawn finally discovered Wilbur’s secret folder filled with a myriad of sandwich-related pornography.” –sporknpork

“It seems the Bum Boat’s ‘senior menu’ simply consists of putting a regular menu item in a blender, for ease of gumming and digesting.” –Perky Bird

“Oh, God … NO! Local trout have achieved the power of jet propulsion and will soon take over the world! Within minutes, they will be flying through every restaurant in the city … unless they already are.” –Spyglass

“I married your father because of his excellent hearing. But to answer your actual question, I’ve had about seven hundred cocks inside me.” –Doctor Handsome

“Did anyone notice there’s a number on the door behind Wilbur? ‘310.’ It’s pretty obvious Wilbur is inside his apartment, standing in Dawn’s bedroom door. So why would he have numbered doors in his house? Some kind of bizarre organization scheme. He has it catalogued in a ledger. ‘Room 310. Empty mayonnaise jars. Room 311: Bathroom.'” –Cloudbuster

“A good way to honor your mom’s sacrifice is to live your life to the fullest. Or, you could do the direct opposite: whine about death and spend time with Tommie.” –S. Stout

“Yes! I understand! You killed your mother, I killed my mother, Margo killed her mother! You think you’re the only one who killed their mother! Quit whining!” –Terrapin

“I like how Thel is standing about thirty feet away from her brood (including a toddler), her attention steadily focused elsewhere as the throngs of humanity surge around them, as if daring danger-strangers to just come and grab a brace of stubby-limbed malaprop-spewing munchkins on the way from Panda Express to Banana Republic. Maybe next time she can smuggle a sign out of the Kompound saying ‘FREE CHILDRUN PLEAZ TAKE 4,’ and bring it to the parking lot at Candy-Dispensing-White-Van-Drivers-Con ’12.” –fillmoreeast

“Can we talk about how great the expressions on the Keane kids are? They look so world-weary and callous as a result of their hopes and dreams never being fulfilled. Even when in agreement about their mother (who they all resent now), they cannot seem to snap out of their mass depression for even a moment. Wes Anderson, if you’re looking to revive The Royal Tenenbaums in a different format, look no further.” –Irrischano

“I love the generic travel agency in the background of this very obvious re-run strip. What is that store next to it, I wonder? A one-hour photo? A video rental store? A newspaper publisher?” –The Silent Penultimate Panel

I must thanks to all who put some cash into my tip jar! And we must give thanks to our advertisers:

• Raymond Chandler at the ashram: What do you call a murder mystery made with a cup of humor, a dash of romance, and a sprig of mysticism, then rolled in chick-lit and sprinkled with some hot stuff? Just Stab Me In The Eye.

To find out more about how you could be thanked in this spot, and more about sponsoring this site’s RSS feed, click here.