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Hello everybody! I’m back, with a slightly delayed COTW and a huge thanks to everyone who gave during the fundraiser, and a huge thanks to Uncle Lumpy for filling in for me last week! Everyone will be getting individual thank-yous shortly. Meanwhile, I am prepared to take you into maw of the holiday season, comics wise, staring with the past week’s top comment:

“‘Tell you where the trout holes are’ has to be one of the most revolting euphemisms for sex that I’ve ever heard. And I attended junior high in southern Indiana.” –cheech wizard

And the runners up, very funny!

Mark Trail: “This latest remake of The Prisoner seems to completely miss the point of the original show.” –fluffy

“What a plot development — Mark becomes a bigamist and never sleeps with either wife.” –Maltmasher

Mary Worth: “I’m not sure those are soda bottles. In Panel 2, Jim is using his to show Dawn that if they can’t be more than friends, he will be her enema.” –Alfred E. Neuman

Rex Morgan, M.D.: “Nobody beats me in the obscenely perky tits department, see? Nobody!” –tb4000

Mary Worth: “Jim brings the phrase ‘being a douche’ to horrifying new levels of literalism.” –No Stupid Bear

Mary Worth: “That’s it. Next time a girl turns me down for a date, I’m going to make a scene and shout ‘It’s because I’m missing an arm, isn’t it?’ PS. I am not actually missing an arm.” –btow

Rex Morgan, M.D.: “Considering that June is the only one in the room who is NOT a stripper, why is she the only one dressed like a stripper?” –Here come the Judge

“HALLELUJAH, SOMEBODY IS FINALLY HITTING LES. THERE IS A GOD!” –commodorejohn

“Would nuns living with Rex Morgan for a year really count as cloistered? Haha, of course they would. Had you going, didn’t I?” –Artist formerly known as Ben

As ever, we must give thanks to our advertisers:

• Mayan Countdown Calendar: Each day has a humorous message to help prepare for your total annihilation. Great for home, office, or any other place that will go up in smoke on December 21.
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• You Got To Be Kidding: For fans of the Book of Mormon! If you believe or even better if you don’t — you’ll laugh.

To find out more about how you could be thanked in this spot, and more about sponsoring this site’s RSS feed, click here.

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Click above to contribute by credit card or PayPal, here to contribute by check, or here for more details — Thanks!

Has it really been more than a year since the last Comics Curmudgeon fundraiser? Why, yes it has — we took a break this spring to make room for Josh’s Kickstarter initiative. So it’s time to catch up! If you’re new to the site, twice a year I encourage readers to join me in financial support of the Comics Curmudgeon, to keep it strong and independent and encourage Josh to ignore his legitimate responsibilities in favor of our trivial pop-culture amusements. If Josh helped enrich your life during the past year, why not return the favor?

Click the banner above to contribute by credit card or PayPal. Full details here, along with an index to more than 300 fundraising banners stretching all the way back to 2008. Enjoy, and thank you!

— Uncle Lumpy

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Hello, all! Your COTW in a moment, but I just wanted to note that your favorite Uncle Lumpy is taking the reigns of the site starting tomorrow and running through Sunday the 18th. He’ll be nice to you, so be nice to him! I’ll be back with a delayed COTW on Sunday. Till then, here’s the top comment that’ll get you through:

“The knife, placed prominently at the groom’s waist, shrinks in the second vignette. On his wedding day he has been dominated in front of his new bride, and Six Differences has entered strange Freudian territory.” –Dan

And your runners up! Very funny!

“If Heathcliff and Marmaduke fought to the death, who would win? Besides us, I mean.” –[Old Man] Muffaroo

“And what about Batman? He’s, like, a bat? Right? Why can’t he fly? And why does Spider-Man wear his webspinners — which oughta be called spinnerets, by the way — on his wrists? Real spiders have ’em at the back of their abdomens, so Spider-Man’s oughta be on his butt, right? And why don’t you carry more Little Lulu comics?” –erdmann

“That Heathcliff cartoon is especially cruel, with the way that woman mentions kissing to the mouthless entity at her side.” –Droopy Says

“You’re a plugger if you have the side effects even though you aren’t taking the drug.” –Matthew

“CPR? Wha? We were told that you transplanted the brain of a woman into the body of a kangaroo. CPR? No one sends two television news crews to do a story on goddamn CPR.” –hogenmogen

“No, no, no, Archie is not a rerun; it is just set in 1991. Next Jughead discovers grunge. It’s nostalgia!” –Marco Polo Shirt

“I like the look of admiration the little girl is giving the the cake-taker. ‘My hero!’ she seems to be thinking. ‘Someday, when I’m big and strong, I’ll take the cake! All of it!'” –Nehemiah Scudder

“‘You can never have too many friends,’ said the man with none.” –Johnny Knuckles

“Ah-ha, so Evan is a double-crosser! And whatshisface the actor is a smug self-promoting jerk! I’m starting to think the only way you can tell the men in Apartment 3-G apart is by whatever glaring flaw they have that will eventually force the ladies to dump them.” –TheDiva

I must thanks to all who put some cash into my tip jar! And we must give thanks to our advertisers:

• The Spanish Revenge: The age old conflict between Muslims and Christians explodes into the 21st century in an intricate tale of deadly retaliation. “Woven From The Threads Of Real Life Events And Real-Life Concerns” –Legal Times

To find out more about how you could be thanked in this spot, and more about sponsoring this site’s RSS feed, click here.