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Oh, look, I’m getting the COTW out on time for once:

“I don’t see any reason to assume that the liquid falling from Billy’s face is sweat; it could just as easily be tears. With a little imagination, and a willingness to use a red Sharpie on your monitor, it could even be blood.” –ratnerstar

And the runners up! Also hilarious!

“She’s clearly flashing back to her previous life. Pointy black hat, green skin, ‘These things must be handled delicately…’ It’s all coming back to her.” –Spiff Bereft

“Max Mouse may be stupid but at least he understands a suit and cape are inappropriate clothes for hot weather.” –nescio

“Also, ‘dog’s point of view’? Couldn’t B.C. come up with better lie to explain why he was looking at Thor’s balls? (OH MY GOD I STILL KNOW THOSE CHARACTERS’ NAMES. WHY DID I READ B.C. COMICS COLLECTIONS WHEN MY NEURAL NET WAS STILL FORMING AND AT ITS MOST RECEPTIVE? I COULD HAVE LEARNED FRENCH INSTEAD OF THIS POINTLESS CRAP!)” –Lorne

“I imagine that the discussion between writer and artist about portraying Gil’s horrifically unhuman-looking face in today’s second panel went something like this: ‘He’s angry, he’s serious! Draw more lines on his face to show that!’ ‘Uh, he already looks like an alien from Star Trek, so we cou–‘ ‘Shut up. More lines.'” –Alan’s Addiction

“Just look at how happy Petey is!! ‘Sweet, I’ll have a few hours of uninterrupted TV time, then when she comes home, I’ll have the perfect excuse to be whiney and mopey all night!!'” –pugfuggly

“We now know the mystery woman’s name is Susan, but nothing else about her. If they’d just added any reason to care, this would be a textbook example of how to build suspense.” –Some Guy

“Going by today’s installment, it would appear that these pluggers are very nearly if not actually in their nineties, which … the fuck? I would really like to know the precise cocktail of pharmaceuticals and Whoppers that enables these corpulent layabouts to achieve such astonishing longevity. Or is it just hugs from their grandkids? Their AARP-eligible grandkids?” –Violet

“Really, Luann’s ‘villains’ and ‘disreputable’ characters all seem a million times more likeable or at least interesting than any of the alleged heroes. I’d much prefer it if the de Groots and company all moved off to a compound where they could be obnoxious anal-retentives together and left the main strip to the people I don’t hate.” –commodorejohn

“But you have to admit that Brad is cool. Look how he stands there in the last panel with his hand in his pocket, just casually playing with his penis as he gets fired. COOL.” –Greg

“Also, Ziggy is dating his cat.” –Gold-Digging Nanny

Thanks to all who put some cash into my tip jar! And this is where we’d thank our advertisers — if we had any this week. To find out more about how you could be thanked in this spot, and more about sponsoring this site’s RSS feed, click here.

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SORRY everybody, for being mildly COTW flaky. But your comment of the week is now here!

“Oh man, Funky’s right! Two women in love with Les? Game changer! Wait, how did he react? Stare at them blankly and then spiral into a mopey, self-centered depression? Oh, never mind. This is still the ‘no one cares’ game.” –Tophat

And your runners up! Also very funny

“You have responsibilities, John. You can’t just stay up here watching the sunrise, writing about animals, and carving giant altars to the Goat Demon Baphomet.” –Dan

“I think the current Funky Winkerbean storyline is intended to be a sort of It Gets Better project for dorky teenage guys who are bad with women. In the future, you’ll be doing the rejecting! Of course, the actual It Gets Better project is supposed to stop people from committing suicide, not drive them to it.” –ratnerstar

“Just wait until Momma starts buying post-midnight radio ads that feature a voice saying, ‘Francis, God can see you masturbating right now.'” –un malpaso

“I was wondering, why 75 years? So Momma has considered that her son would be attracted to someone, say, 74 years old, lounging in a bikini on the beach? Then I recalled the disturbing relationship between Momma and Francis and I died a little inside.” –StoutHearted

“Vodka shooters? What the hell are those? Jesus, doesn’t anyone use mason jars anymore?” –Doctor Handsome

Thanks to all who put some cash into my tip jar! And we must give thanks to our advertisers:

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To find out more about how you could be thanked in this spot, and more about sponsoring this site’s RSS feed, click here.

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Is it COTW time again? You know it!

“I love how gently rumpled Les’s tie is. It seems to say everything about Les, about this strip … and about us all? The human predicament: gently rumpled.” –Greg

And your runners up! Also hilarious!

“Of course, ‘mouse’ is the Smiths’ code word for ‘meth,’ as their racing brains are being kept up all night by the sound of their own teeth-grinding.” –BigTed

“The ‘raise the roof’ poses of everyone at Drew’s party seems rather awkward. I wonder if Liza got them all to attend by pointing a gun at them.” –Mark B

“I’ve followed this unbroken line of arrows that say CONFERENCE ROOM 3 all the way down the hall, but this last arrow ends 18 inches away from anything. So where the hell is Conference Room 3? Oh, could it be this door marked CONFERENCE ROOM 3? Guess I’ll give it a shot.” –ks

“All right, let’s get this party started! Who wants a cup of cake?!” –Ned Ryerson

“Les has so many facets of his personality, to the point where they’re all bad. I mean, there’s Mopey Les, which you could almost feel sorry for, but there’s also Self-Righteous Les, Creepy Les, Creepy Womanizer Les…” –Pseudo3D

“Hair of yellow, dumb as jello; hair of black, terror’s back; hair of red … that’s the boring one, right?” –jayjaybear, on remembering which A3G girl is which

“It’s not that you have to be old to be a plugger, but when you’re casting around for things to bitch about, it helps to have more years to look back on through your distorted lens of nostalgia, grievance-based ideology, and suppressed rage.” –Walker of Dog

“I like to think the whole assembled crew is totally in on Liza’s batshit scheme. ‘Yeah, so Drew tried to break up with me like, a jillion times after our really awesome date, but I am so not having that, so let’s throw him a surprise third birthday party! That’ll show him! Something.’ ‘Okay, Liza, but if we do your thing you have to help me kidnap my ex’s kid. You’re relatively familiar with the layout of Chuck E. Cheese, right?'” –Violet

“So being paid ridiculous sums for writing trash is less fulfilling than running his own little nepotistic empire? I think the moral of this story is that it’s always better to dole out unearned favors than to receive them. Go figure.” –A New Day

“T is for Talk, which is what the assembled suspects will do, eventually, after Officer Torturedog introduces them to Tina the Shark.” –gleeb

“Any time Reeky Rat cheats at Battleship or whatever, Slylock Fox is all up in his grill. But this fucking elephant can just jack the rabbit’s ice cream, and all we’re supposed to care about is ‘T’ words? I call bullshit.” –Doctor Handsome

“It’s a tragedy that vampires always have to wear poorly fitting clothes.” –Mark B

Thanks to all who put some cash into my tip jar! And we must give thanks to our advertisers:

• Fire It Up: 400 recipes for grilling everything — all about ingredients!

• City of the Snakes: From Darren Shan, the bestselling author of Hell’s Horizon, comes the final book in a dark and twisted new series. Al Jeery has no love for Cardinal Capac Raimi. Promised retribution, Al is lured into the twisted, nightmarish world of the Incan priests — where he will learn more about the City than he ever imagined … a place where power has its price.

To find out more about how you could be thanked in this spot, and more about sponsoring this site’s RSS feed, click here.