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Let’s no waste any time, but get right to this week’s top comment!

“Thieves stole over 200,000 dollars from a bank! Now back to our much less interesting story about a dog that does taxes or whatever I don’t even care anymore.” –Chyron HR

And the very funny runners up!

“Yes, Nola, the Charterstone Tramp who’ll talk to anybody, dares to talk to married men at the pool party, but Wilbur — poor, poor unmarried Wilbur! — can only console his inner-scream loneliness at the Buffet of Round Objects.” –mojo

“Look at the expressions on Dennis’ parents’ faces. They’re not stupid, they can smell weakness and Dennis is pumping it out by the barrel. In 24 hours Dennis is either going to be in military school or in a gunny sack … maybe both.” –Mumblix Grumph

“Am I the only person here totally confused by Toby’s use of the phrase ‘under wraps’? Keeping something ‘under wraps’ means keeping it a secret, right? So she thinks the only way she can keep her husband from cheating on her is by refusing to tell anyone he exists? Unless … unless he’s dead and she just remembered that it’s time to change his mummy wrappings! That makes Mary’s response make more sense, too, since clearly Ian can only walk on consecrated ground.” –Spyglass

“Speaking of Dawn, I don’t see her standing reverently next to her father, complimenting his food stacking abilities. Could it be she’s off in her room Face-tweeting, Twit-booking, saxting or whatever it is the kids do with their technologies?” –Effluvius Erratus

“I’ve been hypnotized by the hastily-added megasideburn in the 3rd panel of Mark Trail. Now I need a doctor’s note to return back to work.” –Jocelyn Knockersbury

“Considering the current economic climate, Tommie sure seems to get a lot of offers of pity-employment.” –Nekrotzar

“Well, Mary Beth, it’s also been said that boys don’t make passes at girls who look like they have progeria.” –Dono

“Don’t worry Mary Beth: boys think it’s awesome when a girl can cook possum.” –NoahSnark

“It says a lot about the artwork in Family Circus when Daddy Keane’s absurdly dainty ankles are the creepiest thing going on in a panel where the only possible inference is that Jeffy is about to bludgeon his father to death. Dad can’t even make a run for his life, because his ankles would snap if he placed any weight on them.” –DaveyK

“All sentences from here on out will start with OBSEQUIOUS TIGER” –Stickerz

“I must commend the writers of Mary Worth for having the sheer decency to use their signatures to prevent any further exposure of that guy’s chest hair.” –Irrischano

“C’mon, Tommie. Let the Status Quo reassert itself. You know you want to.” –Mibbitmaker

I must thanks to all who put some cash into my tip jar! And we must give thanks to our advertisers:

• Boca Daze: The seriously funny mystery! “Not since Hiaasen has anyone captured the pothole-marred, driving-impaired, and geriatric-dominated zaniness as well as the new master of the comic crime novel Steve Forman.” –Bestseller, Jon Land

To find out more about how you could be thanked in this spot, and more about sponsoring this site’s RSS feed, click here.

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Hi all! As part of my awesome social media strategy, I am going to do a once-a-month reminder that I have a social media strategy! Apologies to everyone for whom this is old hat, but I figure the first day of the month is a good a place as any to let new and/or intermittent readers know that I have a:

• Twitter
• Facebook fan page
• Tumblr, which also serves as an ordinary blog, which you can subscribe to via RSS (this has just today been redesigned by Adam Norwood, let’s hear it for him!)
• Google+

I put the same material up on pretty much all of these, so really you should just pick the service you like best and subscribe to that one. Or none! I won’t be mad! (Just disappointed.) I’ll also link to new Comics Curmudgeon posts daily from each of these, so perhaps you will find them a good way to keep up with the blog? Or not! SEE IF I CARE.

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Your comment of the week momentarily, but first, I must share with you an awesome letter to the editor of the Providence Journal that faithful reader Dub Not Dubya shared with me. In it, Mike Fink of Providence earnestly pleads for Rex Morgan, M.D., to be restored to the paper’s funny pages. The best paragraph is this:

Is it just too realistic, and therefore, in fact responsible, for current tastes, editorial or popular? I mean, the anecdotes do raise genuine issues of health and human behavior. True, there is a sort of camp or funky almost unintentional hilarity about its style and content, but on the other hand there is also a timeliness and even truthfulness about the adventures and misadventures of its characters.

But really you should read the whole thing, which also mentions breast feeding, for some reason. Don’t miss it! And the Journal absolutely SHOULD bring back RMMD, it goes without saying.

And now, your COMMENT OF THE WEEK!

“I love the Avengers’ high tech deterrents to someone sneaking in to their headquarters. ‘Let’s turn out the lights and pretend like we’re not here!'” –hogenmogen

And your runners up! Very funny!

“Having solved the mystery of the exceedingly-inept kidnapper, perhaps Mary can turn her crime-fighting skills to discovering who embedded that turbot in the back of Jeff’s skull. From the way he’s clutching his head in the second frame, it looks like he may have suffered a brain injury. This may also explain his apparent insensibility to Mary’s endless litany of self-congratulation.” –Higgs Boatswain

“We have to find some time to spend together, mostly so I can ask you what in the living hell is going on with your jacket lapels.” –Chareth Cutestory

“When they make the movie about Old Butch, they should probably skip the part where a group of rabbits enjoy a spirited game of ‘who can hop closest to the blind dog.'” –Just Bob

“It is possible Lu Ann’s adoptive parents don’t know they adopted her? Maybe she was just put under a cabbage leaf one day and they figured, well, that’s how it always happened before.” –Chip Whittle

“If the best tattoo you can think of is just the initial of your home town in your high school colors, you’re probably not cool enough to look good in a tattoo.” –AndyL

“Margo thinks eating feces ‘sounds delicious?’ Somebody’s been reading my erotic fanfic!” –Doctor Handsome

“I think Jughead is, in his own passive-aggressive way, commenting on the fact that the cast of Archie comics can no longer be considered famous.” –Cotton Candy Beard

“Are we just going to ignore how COMPLETELY adorable it is that Mr. Weatherbee likes Glee? I mean, in the context of this comic, and its superior, too-cool-to-stay-awake-in-geometry high schools kids. Mr. Weatherbee just loves to kick back and relax by watching some musically talented teens who really care about school, who have non-food-based, non-laziness-based problems. And he’s just plain SICK and TIRED of having to tape it!” –Margaret

Thanks to all who put some cash into my tip jar! And this is where we’d thank our advertisers — if we had any this week. To find out more about how you could be thanked in this spot, and more about sponsoring this site’s RSS feed, click here.