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You guys, I normally do my ad love bit at the end of this post, but this week’s ad should get better treatment, because it’s for a book written by One Big Happy scribe and faithful Comics Curmudgeon reader Rick Detorie: The Accidental Genius Of Weasel High! Kirkus Reviews says: “No accidental work of genius, this — Detorie’s carefully crafted novel is an engaging experience.” And Stephan Pastis of Pearls Before Swine says “This book gets the highest rating I can give a book without actually being paid to say so.” Well, I’m being paid, but I still think you should check it out.

And now, your comment of the week!

“Wait a minute! It has been amply demonstrated that Liza does not love Mountview Hospital. Are we to understand that she is a mug thief along with everything else?” –Violet

And your very funny runners up.

“I do like the drug metaphor. ‘I AM WHO I AM. Specifically, I am like heroin. Sweet, sweet heroin.'” –Neigedens

“Having successfully integrated the messages of his new corporate sponsors into a sermon, the preacher in Gasoline Alley proceeded on to phase 2 — replacing the sacrament with Diet Pepsi and Necco wafers.” –NoahSnark

“I hope when we finally see John Fucking Thrasher that he’s dressed in a hoodie and aviator glasses. And pants, too, I guess.” –Maggie the Cat

“Clearly, the purpose of Rick’s head examination was to select an Easter bonnet to go with his peach suit.” –Fashion Police

“I’m hoping that Rick’s statement ‘I was busy having my head examined’ is a euphemism for ‘trepanning.’ Gruesome, outdated medical procedures can only improve Apartment 3G, especially after Margo learns how to use them to further bend Tommie to her will. Failing that, I hope that ‘I was busy having my head examined’ is a euphemism for ‘seeing a phrenologist.’ Because 19th century pseudoscience is vastly preferable to seeing Rick go on for weeks about his numerous insecurities. Also, because I’m interested in any sort of explanation for all of his weird extra facial clefts seen in the second panel.” –Alan’s Addiction

“Liza is obviously flooding Facebook with iPhone photos of her half-eaten cafeteria sponge.” –Patrick

“Of course this nurse doesn’t have any information on this patient – it’s a little difficult to accurately diagnose a problem when the only equipment in your patient’s room is two IV stands and a cash register.” –Scott Bot

“Who gives a shit about this no-name gomer and his stupid fever when that crazy fucking nurse is releasing General Zod from the Phantom Zone?!” –Doctor Handsome

“Liza’s not a good nurse because she hasn’t got the patients. Get it? Huh? Patients = patience? Ha! Also because she lets them die while she plays Fruit Ninja.” –Esther Blodgett

“My favorite thing is how royally pissed the Python looks. ‘A freakin’ open-air cage? Anyone here ever hear of the rainy season? Happens every year? Hello!!?'” –boojum

“Remember that Morbius bit Spiderman during their battle. In most vampire mythologies this means that Spiderman would come under the vampire’s power. However the power is reversed here, as it is now poor Morbius who can’t keep his eyes open and can’t tell whether he’s awake or asleep. At their next encounter Morbius will meekly submit to Spiderman’s whims, which will involve a couch and widescreen plasma TV.” –Bill Thompson

“I dunno. I just assumed sandwich was code for ‘threesome’ personally.” –Jobrill

“In the third panel, who is the guy behind the sheriff? It looks like Mark in a bad ’70s porn star disguise. Maybe that is how Mark will get to talk to John Thrasher — either by delivering a pizza or say that he is there to clean the pool. –Liam

“Shouldn’t that be ‘2nite’? C’mon, girlfriend, that’s how all the hip texters talk! Oh, well, at least she hasn’t found a way to dot her i’s with little hearts.” –Pozzo

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Quickly! Sorry so quick! Your top comment

“I salute Apartment 3-G for spicing things up by bringing Rasputin back as a guest-character. I’m not sure if I’m more frightened by original, ultra-hair Rasputin, or the new, albino Rasputin, but I’m sure that wacky hijinks will ensue. If nothing else, he’ll give Margo a chance to live out her dream of being able to shoot, poison, stab, and drown the same man on different occasions.” –Alan’s Addiction

And your runners up!

“Maybe Tommie is the world’s first Peter Tork impersonator.” –Karmyn

“I’m hoping the raccoon will put up a fight before being taken away, because it might distract everyone else while the snake eats Max Mouse.” –nescio

“It’s my son John … he appears to be a some kind of thing that came out of my wife. Who I have come to understand is a woman that I live with. I just don’t understand this situation at all, Mark. Can you help?” –Roktober

“‘No, but I remember reading about his distinguished military record.’ Where? Why? Why would he be reading about this guy’s distinguished military record? Does he have a subscription to Random-ass Distinguished Military Records Weekly? ‘Hey!’ he thought. ‘That guy’s from around here! I wonder if I ever punched out anyone we both know?'” –Geek Redux

“You’ve got to wonder when someone in the Wambesi tribe will start complaining about the Ghost Who Only Drops In Whenever He Wants Us To Keep An Eye On One of His Enemies, And Does He Offer to Pay For Feeding These Goons? No He Does Not.” –J.D. Rhoades

“Pluggers apparently have also failed to learn about advanced technology like ‘baskets.'” –Faoladh

Thanks to all who put some cash into my tip jar! And we must give thanks to our advertisers:

• Nightmares from Erberos: Time travel, vampires, twisted reality shows, psychics, mythology, and mobsters — What’s not to love? “De La Torre takes you on a trip through the darkness, challenging religious dogma, pop culture stereotypes, and personal belief while delivering a ten pack of outstanding, well written short stories.” -Spec Fic Stories Review
• Parents Behaving Badly: The dads who coach like Patton! The moms who drink like fish! And the kids caught in the middle. If your child has participated in youth sports, you’ll relate to Parents Behaving Badly. Scott Gummer’s new novel gives the grown-ups who seek vicarious glory the send-up they so richly deserve. For video and more, click here!

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As the seasons change, the comments of the week continue. Here’s this week’s top spot!

“She nursed me, a complete stranger, back to health with no thought to the horrors that might come to her and her child from the same evil thugs who murdered her husband. And all you can think to ask is if she was PRETTY??? Actually, she looked exactly like you if you wore a halter top and a wig. So, no, I wouldn’t describe her as ‘pretty.’ I hope she gets back with her relatives or something. Girls are icky.” –Mustang

And the runners up — very funny!

“Looks to me like Cherry and Rusty have gotten over Mark’s disappearance and presumed death — for example, they’ve already scribbled over all the portraits of him in their house, which is stage 15 on the Kubler-Ross scale, I think.” –Oavis

“To be fair, is there any emotion Rusty expresses without ‘face twisting’?” –SecretMargo

“It’s a good thing that Mark Trail took the time to shave before he called his family to tell them he’s OK. First things first.” –Mark B

“Funnily enough, this is just how Rusty always answers the phone, what with the shouting and demanding questions and creepy mind rays oozing out of his eyes, down the phone lines, and into the caller’s skull to dig out their thoughts and memories, one by one, like ice cream being gouged with a scoop.” –Jim North

On the proposal that this gown in Luann might be a salwar kameez: “I mean, seriously, a salwar kameez is like *the* *best* *thing* *to* *wear* *ever.* It would take a kind of obsessed person with unhealthy goals and limitless free time to screw one up. Which, Gunther.” –Katy

“Hopefully she got back with her relatives! She did save my life, so the very least I can do is ponder vaguely about her fate with idle good intentions.” –Lorne

“I’m playing count the mouths on Cherry in the first panel and keep losing.” –Tophat

“It’s supposed to be update on the line, ‘that and a nickel will get you a cup of coffee,’ which was coined when coffee could be obtained for 5 cents a cup. All of which means, ‘talk is worthless.’ Since he has willfully moved back to the economically and emotionally depressed center of Batiukland, the phrase would have been rendered better as ‘that and a buck will get you a slice of crappy pizza that tastes like weeping.'” –gleeb

“Morbius is ‘urban’ in the sense that he wears terrible spandex from the 1970s.” –Naked Bunny With A Whip

“It looks like Larry Lieber attended the ‘Joe Giella Master Class on Human Gestures and How To Render Them.’ Joe’s secret? Hands! Humans, like, do things with their hands when they talk to each other! ‘What do I pay you for? Hands!’ ‘Actually you don’t! Hands!’ ‘Get me a shot of that urban Dracula tonight! HANDS!'” –Krazy Kat

• Parents Behaving Badly: The dads who coach like Patton! The moms who drink like fish! And the kids caught in the middle. If your child has participated in youth sports, you’ll relate to Parents Behaving Badly. Scott Gummer’s new novel gives the grown-ups who seek vicarious glory the send-up they so richly deserve. For video and more, click here!

To find out more about how you could be thanked in this spot, and more about sponsoring this site’s RSS feed, click here