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Comments of the week momentarily, but first, my friends, a very special announcement. Do you have an Amazon-branded Kindle device, that you carry about with you in your satchel or backpack? Have you ever thought to yourself, “Gee, I’d like to read my very favorite blog in the whole wide world, the Comics Curmudgeon, on my Kindle?” Well, now you can, my friends! For $1.99 a month, you can subscribe to my blog, Kindle-style! Here’s the Amazon page for the blog; click on “Subscribe now with 1-click” and your favorite comics-mocking madness will be beamed to to your Kindle. I don’t actually have one of these magic devices, but there’s a preview function on Amazon’s publisher site that seems to indicate the the graphics come out sort of stipple-arty but readable; you get a 14-day free trial to decide whether you want to read the blog this way, and whether it’s worth $1.99 a month to you. I am very interested in feedback on this, so please let me know at bio at jfruh dot com! (Please note that the Kindle app for the iPhone/iPod Touch doesn’t work with blog subscriptions; you need one of the actual Kindle handhelds.)

Also! A last-minute reminder that, if you are in or near Baltimore’s Mt. Vernon neighborhood, why not stop by Center Stage tonight (Monday) and see if you can score some tickets to my latest public appearance?

And now, without further ado, your COMMENTS OF THE WEEK!

“I can’t believe Gary asked Tommie to marry him. Does he think they don’t have girls in Denver?” –Violet

And your runners up! Very funny!

“I love how even Tommie thinks that giving up a career for her is fairly pathetic.” –Citric

“Egads, I had a little checked suit coat like that, with matching short pants, when I was 5 … in the 1960s. Of course, Hank Ketcham is dead so probably is not up on the latest fashions of the 21st century. Maybe that’s what’s so menacing about the strip: zombies lecturing us on public mores from beyond the grave.” –Crankenstank

“For a comic that regularly features jokes about urine and feces, does Marvin REALLY want to make fun of people who are easily amused?” –Hoboclown

“I first read today’s Mary Worth without reading the balloons and I liked it a lot. It’s all silly grins and gang signs.” –digamma

“I know many of you are concerned for little Eugene’s welfare, but I think it must be pointed out that the toaster in Marvin is not actually plugged in. Note the absence of any cord as the entire toaster becomes airborne in the last panel. Instead of running on electricity it appears to be powered by stupidity.” –Flying Ace

“Some might say, ‘Wouldn’t it be easier to just stop drawing mirrors in Mary Worth’s restaurants, since they’re not going to draw any real reflections?’ I say to you, wouldn’t it be just as easy to step outside and realize family bloodlines no longer need to be preserved by marrying half-siblings and first cousins?” –Black Drazon

“If anyone ever needed an argument against heterosexuality, today there are three.” –Clint

“Good lord, could movement lines BE any more obnoxious than in Mary Worth today? What kind of aggressive snatching must have produced that comet tail, the bill still quivering from the shock of it? Even if/when it’s ‘nice to be taken care of for a change’ it’s unsettling to have it done with all the suavity of a Gestapo confiscation.” –Sister Sestina

“Sarge is taking the phrase ‘love that dare not speak its name’ a bit too literally.” –Anonymous

“Adrian … you’d better get used to it! With my new powers of telekinesis, you’re going to have to get used to a lot of things.” –Rhekarid

“Detective Scott can afford to pick up the check because he has already negotiated a handsome dowry from Dr. Jeff.” –FE

“And I wanted to see how you are with children. Because I’m eleven.” –I am Jack’s username

“I never pegged Lincoln for a truck-robber. Honest Abe my ass.” –Lord-z

“What? That’s crazy! You can’t really live in New York!! You’re not attractive or interesting!” –Rizbon

“Tommie’s hair needs to graduate from 1972 before she’s ready to marry.” –Crankenstank

“Of course Margo’s horrified; she doesn’t want anyone to find out her secret weakness (love). Of course, in this case, her fears are entirely unjustified as Tommie isn’t capable of feeling anything more passionate than mild ennui or confusion. The only life-form more boring than Tommie, Gary, merely proposed to her in hopes that she’s of the same species.” –Alan’s Addiction

“That’s right, practice those come-ons! Someday, a girl will walk into your shop, eager to hear long-winded factoids with zero relevance and you’ll be ready!” –Donald the Anarchist

“I love that Margo asks about the roses and doesn’t get an answer until ‘later that evening.’ I like to imagine Tommie in the kitchen, wide-eyed, completely focused on whatever the hell she’s doing in there. ‘Must cook dinner. Must cook. Faster! Faster! Must cook faster to avoid the beatings! Oh, the beatings! Faster! Better! Just the way she likes it!’ Then a few hours later, as soon as she’s finished and able to think for herself for a few seconds, she realizes she was asked a question by none other than Mistress Margo herself, panics, and just blurts out the answer in a panic, hoping it’s not too late. ‘GARY BROUGHT ME THE ROSES!’ But of course, it is. Gary’s proposal is the least of her worries now.” –Roto13

“It’s hilarious to watch Margo forced to do her fancy head-spinning moves as Tommie keeps circling, circling to keep Margo from being able to draw a bead on her. Sitck and move, Tommie, stick and move, attagirl.” –Talking Squirrel

“Looks like Max Mouse has finally given up this charade and is trying to eat his oppressor.” –Cami

I give prodigious thanks to those who put some money in my tip jar — you know who you are! I’d also thank our advertisers … if there were any who bought BlogAds ads, and who thus get thanked every week! Sadly, there aren’t any this week — maybe next week I’ll be thanking you! To find out more about advertising on this site, click here.

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Two items of potential interest to you in a special mid-week metapost! First comes this AMAZING thing from faithful reader Jon. Did you know that one of the writers of the comic strip Six Chix is Margaret Shulock, who also writes Apartment 3-G? Also, did you know that there was a Six Chix blog? Well, both of these things are true, and Shulock last week put up a blog entry detailing how an installment of Apartment 3-G gets written. It just might blow your mind. Also, she says she needs info on A3G history before the ’90s, so get crackin’, folks!

Also! In non-comics-related news, I’m writing another one of my tech pieces, this time about IT “pet projects.” If you work in tech, have you been forced to toil on dumb pet projects on your bosses’ whim? If you want to share your funny or sad stories, send me a note at bio at jfruh dot com. I will anonymize to keep you out of trouble!

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I have just one hilarious item for you before I get to the COTW: Remember how I told you about Marty Moon’s Twitter feed? Well, if you enjoy that, you’ll probably also like Margo Magee’s.

And now … your comment of the week!

“‘Thanks to both of you, things turned out the way they did.’ Whoa! Better brush up your vagueness skillz, Herb and Jamaal — there’s a new something or other in whatever place this is!” –Hogan

And your runners-up:

“I think the Mary Worth palate consists of perhaps nine shades, but cantaloupe orange is undoubtedly the reigning champion.” –Andrew Leal

“I congratulate Mark Trail for finding the least erotic, most disturbing opening dialog of a gay porno ever. (‘I would like you to check into something.’ ‘Is it … serious?’ ‘It may be.’)” –Alan’s Addiction

“Thanks to both of you things turned out the way they did — we’re still stuck with the creepy, haunted ventriloquist’s dummy.” –PeteMoss

“Mary’s speculative regard of Adrian could not more unequivocally telegraph the sentiment, ‘Vulnerable, eh? (sinister chuckle)’ had the artist been working tirelessly for hours or even days to achieve that precise effect.” –Violet

“Ah, now I get it. Every date with Adrian, no matter how casual, is treated like she’s going to the prom. The prom on The Brady Bunch.” –mojo

“And the last words ever heard at that Milford party were: ‘Is that a bottle of vodka or a fire extinguisher?’ ‘There’s only one way to find out!'” –BigTed

“We are always gratified to see a gentleman wearing a suit and tie when calling on a lady. Except when the suit is orange. Santa Royale may be in California, but that is an insufficient excuse.” –Fashion Police

“What the hell is Tracy doing with his hand in the second panel? Is he raising it in a Hitler-style over-the-shoulder salute? Because that would be … completely unsurprising.” –Howlin’ Wolf

“Matters seem to be in hand, sergeant. Horrible, shriveled, clenched little hand.” –It’s time to pay the price

“Apparently Pluggers is shifting its focus from impoverished seniors to the exciting world of amputation fetishism. Your move, Crankshaft.” –Master Mahan

“‘You wanted to see me, Coach?’ ‘Yes, I heard some story that you had deliberately carved a vertical line down your face but, I knew they must be jokin… What the fuck?!‘” –EdgyDC

“Look, if child pornography charges are what it takes to get Marvin out of the newspapers, I’m willing to support this storyline 100%.” –150

“Also, I object to any comparison of the Lockhorns to Crankshaft. Each Lockhorns is a single-panel Raymond Carver short story — austere and clipped, full of blank space and blanker expressions reinforcing the empty blankness of bourgeois marriage in post-industrial society. Crankshaft on the other hand is more like Updike’s Rabbit tetralogy, a seemingly never-ending parade of increasingly unlikeable characters, but without Updike’s sense of humanity. Oh, and without the ‘protagonist’ finally having a massive coronary and dropping dead, alone and abandoned on the street.” –Comrade Denny

“I want to believe Marvin was wiped and cleaned in the video, that he hadn’t just got out of the nappy, that he wasn’t leaving an unspeakable, unthinkable trail behind him. But in my heart I know it’s Marvin, and human waste is what holds the comic together. Excrement for bricks, urine for mortar.” –Lolsworth

“That first panel of Mary Worth is like an advertisement for Fantastic Sams House of Horrible Haircuts. It’s where you go for styles that were popular in the 1950s and NEVER.” –Zooby

“Next Sunday, the parson will move on to harder theodical problems, such as why bad likker turns a feller blind.” –Albert Camus

“Mary Worth: I only wish I were an English professor with a need to illustrate the phrase ‘heavy-handedness’ in a creative writing course.” –bad wolf

“Personally, I’m hoping Mary Worth takes a cue from Funky Winkerbean, and the next storyline will be about the disembodied spirit of Scott’s dad peeping on his son’s dates with Adrian and possibly offering advice and commentary along the way. ‘That’s right, son! End the date with a chaste peck on the cheek and a handshake. Limp and clammy, just the way I like it!'” –Joe Blevins

“Okay, now wait… Since it was all a dream, does this mean that Electro didn’t really eat that sandwich? I’m going to have to write in to newspaper Spider-Man now. How does one do that, exactly?” –Larry McAwful

“If the Lord’s Plan involves trying to get everyone in Hootin’ Holler to die of food poisoning after eating off their filthy floors, I may have to become a man of faith myself!” –Rhekarid

“You guessed it, true believer! We’ve decided to bow to your letters and let Peter Parker lounge in a bed for the duration of a Sunday strip. Fucking exciting, ain’t it?” –survivor

“So, wait, hold on. Rewind a few weeks and we find that the newspaper Spider Man has reworked itself similar to the mainstream comics. Both audiences are outraged, but the newspaper one corrects itself. This means that … the newspaper-reading audience that has kept Family Circus alive for decades is, in fact, more powerful than all the world’s comic nerds? Man, that’s gotta hit the comic nerds something rough.” –Black Drazon

“Given how badly Marvel has overblown the character of Wolverine over the last 20 years I absolutely cannot wait to see Stan Lee put him in a cubicle eating a sandwich.” –Jeff

“Learn from this experience, Dolly: flirt shamelessly with broken, middle-aged men and you will never pay full price for anything.” –NoahSnark

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