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Another Sunday night, another dementedly funny comment of the week!

“I sincerely hope, but doubt, that the fine folks behind Apartment 3-G are hardcore enough to have Luann just die unspectacularly. Then Tommie would kill herself, and Margo would attend both funerals wearing a blue overcoat and a completely indifferent look. She might even boo a little.” –Tats

(This marks what I believe is an unprecedented two-week run for Tats! To prove that no favoritism is involved, I didn’t even notice that Tats had repeated until I went to update the code that puts the quote on the site. Well-played!)

And another dementedly funny list of runners up!

“Why is Dick Tracy giving a thumbs-down in panel two? Has killing the bad guy gotten so routine he now rates their deaths, and decided that Queenie diving headfirst into the exhaust pipe of a tug boat just doesn’t thrill him like it used to? Damn, Dick. Take a week or two of vacation and get your joy in the horrible demise of others back.” –smacky

“I really don’t think Jughead has anything to worry about. His bachelorhood is basically guaranteed as long as he keeps wearing that hat.” –ChefMike

“‘Rex takes his time…’ It’s the strip’s mission statement”. –PTrig

“Mark Trail: It’s like some kind of glorious triptych of deformity.” –Trilobite

“A rockslide begins with the fall of a single pebble. An avalanche starts with a sharp noise. An evening of pig sex that results in a lifetime of herpes and child support payments begins with a single peppermint schnapps. And so, with LizardBreath’s mention of Anthony, begins our delicious misery.” –willethompson

“Aw, c’mon, folks. We all knew this was coming. Liz and the ’Stache will get married right before Lynn transitions the strip to its frozen-in-time state and we’ll get to see them raise his little girl 4Eva. At least until the strip becomes about the talking dog. And we all know that every comic strip eventually becomes about a talking dog.” –mattt

“It’s a good thing that Rusty didn’t offer to take pictures yesterday when Mark and Cherry were getting their LoFo freak on. The result would have been a photographic mess with inflexible torsos and stiffly awkward limbs sticking out all over the place, sort of like if you disrobed a Barbie doll and a Ken doll and smacked them together.” –Paperback Rifler

“Actually, Cedric appears to be slamming the butlermobile into high gear as he smirks that he’s afraid of ‘growing old.’ Manual transmission, fear of loss of sexual potency, and younger women: it’s the official midlife crisis anvil.” –Jill Smith

“Several previous quotes from Michael on this site have made me think, ‘Oh, surely he didn’t say THAT.’ And then I visit the Foob site and find out he did. Gaah! Much as I fear and avoid (DT)GT, at least Clambake doesn’t write a letter every month.” –Poteet

“Check out Vexed Morgan, MD, in panel two, savoring his revenge — a dish best served cold … and sticky.” –SecretMargo

“Lovely office? Lovely? It’s two bookcases full of files with his bowling trophy and an award plaque from the association of loser Canadian CPAs and a model of a car that manufacturers give to dealers by the thousands. It’s a soul-sucking place, which is why Granthoy is so happy there. A normal human being would be drinking bourbon through a straw inside of a week.” –Professor Fate

“WANTED: Female accountant for an unbelievably expanding auto dealership chain. Must have plot device experience.” –Mibbitmaker

“I think ‘A nice girl’ and ‘We get along well’ is code for, ‘She is receptive to my unwanted, inappropriate sexual advances at work. Oh, and I told her she’d lose her job if she didn’t come with me.'” –martin

“I think we’re all forgetting the dark horse in this race: Gap-Toothed Starey ‘Hoooo!’ Guy. We all know GTSHG is the way to go. He’s personable, has a minimum of two actual friends, is jovial, and, um … thinks sex is funny? I don’t know where I was headed with this.” –Spoony Bard

“Gosh, I can’t think of anything more entertaining, more adventurous than following Mark along as he goes from office to office. Each day I wonder, ‘What will the desk look like?’ ‘Will there be any artwork on the walls?’ ‘Will I be able to spot a pencil sharpener or stapler lurking around?’ And, most importantly, ‘What sort of hairstyle and facial hair will Mark discover today?’ I’m so glad that Mark Trail is available to ‘guide’ me through the fascinating world of White Collar, White Man America.” –Laura Jane

“Lu Ann isn’t really dying; she always gets a bit panicky when she’s drowsy. Sleep is a confusing and frightening process for the terminally dense.” –Theominousoat

“This Roger Avery is making Heather look like a savvy business veteran. This idiot is planning to steal the corporation from his own stepmother and the sum total of his research on her is asking the moron driver who couldn’t even find his own car about her? And he believes every word of it? He’d have lasted about five minutes as Chairman of the Board before somebody bought his shares for a handful of magic beans.” –Dave H

“‘In the Restaurant of the Young’ — isn’t that a Raymond Carver short story? That would explain the waiter’s naked contempt, the blank walls, and the fact that the girl is a double amputee.” –Jim Anderson

And another opportunity to show some love to our advertisers:

• Bobbie Faye’s Very (very, very, very) Bad Day: This southern-fried, laugh-out-loud caper is “pure adrenaline!”
• 28 Weeks Later: The follow up to “28 Days Later” picks up 6 months after the virus has annihilated Britain. The rage virus is not dead and the fight for survival begins!

To find out more about advertising on this site, click here. You might note that the Top Spot is free for the first time in months — click here to reserve your place at the top of the left-hand nav bar! And! Also! You may not be aware of it, but you can also buy ad space at the top of the page, just under the search box, where the Google ad sits now; e-mail me for rates.

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Hey kids, new comics in a bit (AAAAHHHH NOOOO THE MUSTACHE NOOOO) but just wanted you to know that I’ve fixed the problem that was causing layout wackiness on Internet Explorer (it was in one of the ads). If you are still seeing the layout all screwed up, try holding down the shift key and reloading the page. Sorry ’bout that!

Update: I think the problem with the ad is fixed and I am readding it to the site. If you see any more layout issues, please chime in on this thread.

Update II: God damn it. Took it back down.

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Hey kids! I’ve frequently gotten requests to link the comments of the week to the strip they refer to, so as to provide a richer context for their snark. I’ve done so this week, at least for those that referred to strips I have on my site, and hope to do so in the future, providing it doesn’t turn into an enormous pain in the ass. Anyway, here’s this week’s to comment:

“‘Curious Conclusions’ sounds like the kind of board game Mary Worth would play on a Saturday night with a few friends, a mug of cocoa, and some good old-fashioned apple crumble. The loser, of course, would be immolated.” –Tats

And the hilarious runners-up:

“Dear Amazing Spider-Man ghost-writer and artist: You know what would make it a lot easier for me to believe that the setting is ‘night — in the shadow of the Los Angeles Coliseum’? If it were actually night-time in the picture. Or if the Coliseum cast a shadow, for that matter.” –GG

“Amazing how Liz manages to regress at an alarming rate, while simultaneously Ellie-aging in her appearance. By September, she’ll look to all the world like a 120-year-old wrinkled, bed-ridden crone, but she’ll really be, in fact, a fetus verging on embryo status. And then the abortion and euthanasia debates will really intersect!” –Mibbitmaker

“The level of detail in Slylock Fox is both astonishing and completely pointless. If the purpose of comic art is to tell a story, the story here is one of ritalin. Not enough ritalin.” –Proteus

“I love Ted bluing out in that panel. It’s like Ted is Patrick Swayze, and he’s finally walking into the light as Sally Forth, tears in her eyes, whispers ‘Ditto,’ and then drops her eyes back down into that half-lidded smirk I hate so goddamn much.” –jake!

“Note the frisson between Max Mouse and Tiffany Fox, their eyes locked in mutual fascination. (‘How does one go down a one-way street without breaking the law?’ Max asks suggestively, his meaning barely coded.)” –Old Bean

“I can’t wait until the end of this thrilling ‘bird-strike’ plot line when Mark punches out a 767.” –reader-who-posts

“Mary Worth has been at basically the same pace as long as I can remember. When I was a kid, she talked to a guy by the pool for two years.” –Yitzchok

“Margo didn’t try. There, I said it.” –Montag

“And in the department of unreasonable expectations, my leg is bigger than Cherry’s waist. She must have sold her internal organs on the black market.” –fizzy logic

“You can tell their love is unpure and evil since the little hearts above their heads are black. Which kind of goes without saying since this is Marvin, which itself is little more than a montage of the unholy and repugnant.” –Potato

“I was just looking at Jughead, and thinking about how I always think he’s going to grow up to be Dagwood. Then I thought how maybe he’s going to grow up to be the Joker. Either way, these are the best years of his life.” –Phil

“Honestly, how many people did ‘Snuffy’ Smith have to kill to earn that name?” –Harold

“That’s some smooth pillow talk [Darrin]’s got there. Apart from the fact that it’s so indirect it takes a flow chart to figure out what he means, I like the way it manages to work fraudulent medical research, obesity and heart disease into the act of telling someone she’s hot.” –Albtraum

“After reading the 4/26 Apartment 3-G, I realized I loved Margo. I love her for doing all that my id desires and all that my superego thwarts. She’s a finger-quoting, Tommie-bashing, and probably embezzling marvel, since these balloon and streamer galas suggests some money is being pocketed somewhere.” –MsChicken

“I wish the Dennis the Menace artist would put as much time into Dennis’ poor hands (typically rendered as flippers) as he does into Mr. Wilson’s ear. It’s like, of course Dennis is menacing, he’s fuckin’ part dolphin.” –RaJ

“FW: ‘Now why wouldn’t I think you’re sexy, when you look exactly like me but with long hair?’” –Squawk

“Is it possible for someone with facial hair in Mark Trail to NOT make everything sound sinister? Replacing an old, obsolete building with a new one is pretty sensible, but it reads like they’re going to toss newborn babies into jet engines.” –Citric

“400 years / 20 Phantoms = 20-year crime-fighting careers. What do the old Phantoms do during their 30-year retirement? Design pants, perhaps?” –Dean Booth

Let us not fail to throw some love at the advertisers:

• Shana Logic Loves You!: Hot gifts for you & the ones you love!
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• 28 Weeks Later: The follow up to “28 Days Later” picks up 6 months after the virus has annihilated Britain. The rage virus is not dead and the fight for survival begins!

To find out more about advertising on this site, click here.