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Hey all! I am running a bit behind on this weekend’s comics — probably won’t get to them until tonight — but here are your Comments of the Week to tide you over. First, the top choice:

“Ella is like the Main Street buildings at Disneyland, all cute and gingerbready and three-quarter scale.” –AppleGirl

And! Runners up!

“The creepiest thing about the 12/9 Family Circus is that the kids are in this cavernous white-walled room that is empty save for an ugly couch and one picture on the wall. Apparently the Keane family is living in my college apartment.” –NJP

“If only there were one solitary gay man in the Charterstone complex to Garanimal-tag Ian’s clothing so that he would know which shirt and jacket went with which pair of slacks. We’ve all wondered how he landed Toeby. Must’ve run over her seeing-eye dog.” –Dingo

“I’d really hate to think what Al Scaduto’s children are named.” –UnkleSam

“If Blondie ever Flapped in the ’20s, there would have been physics involved. Ugly, graduate school physics.” –Craig Shergold

“The coolest thing about that news story is that Tinsley is first described with the adjective ‘Hoosier.’ WTF? You midwesterners keep it real.” –Rusty

“I call bullsh**t on Luann! If I’m a real postman and a dog strolls up and starts up a trite conversation about Santa Claus, ol’ Puddles is getting a ‘special delivery’ of industrial mace by the third panel.” –Captain Blimey

“I don’t know about anyone else, but I’d freak the hell out if I came into my boss’s office and he was feverishly nailing a board. Look at the look on the poor old man’s face. It’s like his eyes are screaming.” –RoboMax: Agent of C.U.R.M.U.D.G.E.O.N

“I don’t like how smug Mark Trail looks in that last panel. It’s like he thinks he’s the king of Lost Forest or something, just for saving a beaver from death. What, Trail, you’re all modest and whatnot after punching out some guy but saving a beaver makes you all high and mighty? You sicken me.” –Mike P

“I must be getting soft or something, because I find Totally Got Laid Margo sweet, in a way. I’m sure it will all end in tears, but I am enjoying her totally over the top HOORAY LOVE high. It’s like she read a book about how to express joy over finding a partner you like a lot, and is following it to the letter.” –Sjofn

“I guess Denton prefers having the president punch him than the awful alternative: the Phantom hiding behind a horse.” –reader-who-posts

“Actually, I think Mark Trail is going to involve a lot of beavers, and Mark will go about punching all sorts of beaver. That is obviously not innuendo, as Mark Trail is repulsed by sex.” –dan b

“Yeah, and you gotta love that ‘sanctity of Charterstone life’ b.s. Those folks are a long, long way from fetuses.” –Uncle Lumpy

“Dennis: Saddle Shoes. Joey: Chuck Taylors. ¿Que es mas menacing?” –rafael

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The people have spoken! The people want a piece of Comics Curmudgeon gear affiliated with Celeste Black’s deranged drunken antics! And, thanks to faithful reader and artiste Genetic Mishap, they will not be dissapointed! Feast your eyes:

If you’d like to purchase a fine product emblazoned with Genetic Mishap’s logo, now’s your chance! And if you’d like this logo on something not for sale already, just let me know in the comments what you’re looking for and I’ll see if I can’t whip one up.

Also! Apropos of nothing, but I keep forgetting to mention it: occasionally somebody posts something in the comments section that is quite long and I can’t really feature it in the COTW or runners up. (The recent post that got me thinking is this excellent one from Dingo.) Just wanted to tell those of you who don’t know that there is a section of the Comics Curmudgeon forum dedicated to longer reader-written stuff. Things posted there stick around longer and can stand out a bit. Nothing stopping you from putting it both places, of course, but you may wish to post such things in the forum for posterity.

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Now, I don’t usually — or ever, really — comment on Mallard Fillmore on this blog. Partly it’s because it inspires the sort of pointless vitriol amongst commentors that will get folks banished to the Cockpit. Partly it’s because I already have an outlet for my political commentary. But mostly it’s because my comments would just be as foaming, angry, and unfunny as Mallard Fillmore itself. Not only do I disagree with pretty much every political opinion expressed therein, but the strip itself is a sham of a comic strip. There are plenty of conservative-themed strips (Prickly City and the online Day By Day come to mind) that actually have sequential action in panels and recurring characters; Mallard Fillmore is just a standard-issue editorial cartoon that happens to be drawn in a box that’s the same dimensions as a comic strip so that it can be printed on the comics pages.

See, I’m doing it already.

Anyway, I promise to pretty much never mention Mallard Fillmore again after today, but I feel compelled to point out that:

• Bruce Tinsley, Mallard Fillmore’s creator, was arrested for DUI last week.
• With his blood alcohol level over twice the legal limit.
• For the second time in four months.
• And you can read the story with its accompanying awesome mug shot.
• And the story came out today (not sure why it took a week, though since Mallard himself is always late reacting to the news thanks to comics publication lead times, it’s strangely appropriate), which is the same day that the Mallard Fillmore published in papers across the land was this:

Now, a single DUI can reasonably be seen as an isolated, albeit asinine and irresponsible, act. Two in such a short period of time makes it much more likely that Tinsley is an alcoholic. In all seriousness, I’m glad that he didn’t hurt himself or anyone else, and I hope he gets some help.

But is it at least a little funny that this happened to the guy who wrote and drew this cartoon?

Yes. Yes it is. (Thanks to faithful reader Pelagius for finding this somewhere in the bowels of the MF archives.)

Anyway, no more duck talk from me, I promise (unless it’s about some freakishly huge waterfowl in Mark Trail). Commentors on this post (and this post only) may feel free to engage in heated, foaming political debates of the sort that would normally get you banned to the Cockpit. Enjoy!

UPDATE: Oops, actually his previous arrest was for public intoxication, not DUI. Apologies.