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Hey, everybody! I’m not going to be able to post again until Monday evening, so I figured that, since the comments of last week have lasted nearly two weeks, I’d give you some COTW action to enjoy a bit early. First, our first COTW of the new year:

“Why the hell aren’t glowing telepathic otters the most publicized aspect of Kwanzaa? Its presence in Curtis has single-handedly legitimized this holiday in my mind.” –Joe

And many other funnies as well:

“Mary Worth wouldn’t last long in the third world but it would be fun watching her suffer.” –MossMoses

“Having ‘Kick Butt’ on a sweater vest would serve as a useful reminder for the school bullies, who would be on this kid like Ohhhh on Yeah.” –Steve S

“I’d respect that giant golden otter more if it didn’t look so much like a Hello Kitty … or maybe the Pink Panther? Either way, dubious street cred.” –Sheilagh

“Mary Worth is like diarrhea. It’s relentless, and, and…and…uh…okay, so the analogy sort of peters out after that. But I really just wanted to say how it’s like diarrhea, so I’m happy.” –Baby D’oh

“Also, today’s For Better or For Worse fills me with thoughts of self-mutilation. But Elly would be right there telling me how to do it better.” –Kate

“Nice to see Les relaxing in the teacher’s lounge with Rush Limbaugh and John Holmes. This school must have a pretty lax policy on drugs.” –Artist formerly known as Ben

“The Unbearable Magnetism of Liz: The child-bearing hips are the key that unlocks this mystery. With Canada’s low population and growing percentage of doddering stroke-afflicted geezers and flabby boomers, something drastic must be done! Immigration is not enough! Canada’s government has instituted a secret program to populate the Great White North via Elizabeth Patterson’s vagina. To maintain genetic diversity a platoon of racially heterogeneous males has been enlisted to assist.” –Pelagius

“We get it! We are a confusing species! We do things that beavers don’t understand! Well, I do, anyway.” –Justin

“April, the main concern for young women with your drooping, sagalicious cleavage is to lift them up like impoverished Congo peasants through Christian evangelism. This can be accomplished through a device known commonly as a brassiere or ‘bra.’ They sell them in stores these days.” –Dingo

And let’s not forget the advertisers who help make it all possible:

• Shop indie, pass it on! Pixelgirlshop has totally unique style for guys and girls.
• KFC consumer warning: A video from PETA.
• Andertoons: Funny cartoons for presentations, newsletters, advertising, and more.

To find out more about advertising on this site, click here.

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Sure, Reggie Black’s wife went ballistic on the media last month, and now Judge Parker has moved on plotwise to Neddy’s sadly mom-chaperoned trip to Paris. But the electorate’s memory is notoriously short, and what with the pace of JP’s plot advancement, there’s no doubt a looooong time until the election, so I’m pretty sure Reggie can get back in this thing, provided he sticks with his core message: namely, that Randy Parker is probably a big gay. Faithful reader Wille Thompson took it upon himself to come with Reggie’s next attack ad. Bask in the glory of Wille’s cartoonish Karl Rovery!

In other JP news, you might remember my my vague rumor-mongering about the guest artisting going on in that strip this month. The Daily Cartoonist has a much more detailed explanation of the drama behind the scenes at that strip, which, to make a long story short, has a happy ending in sight, but you should check out the link for the full tale. (Thanks to a commentor for this link — I can’t find the comment that contained it, though, but if you speak up I’ll give you credit! UPDATE: The link was provided by faithful reader blase, who cleverly called the real artist “Eduardo the Unfortunate Uruguayan.” Also, a couple typos in the above graphic have been fixed.)

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Kids, tomorrow we depart for our multicity, multifamily Christmastime sprint. Since trying to do a post every day from the road will pretty much kill my holiday cheer, the site will be on hiatus until the new year. However, as a holiday send-off, I present, a bit early, the COMMENT OF THE WEEK!

“Brooke McEldowney is obviously a big leg man, so I guess he doesn’t have much time for jaws.” –Artist Formerly Known as Ben

And the runners up! Despite the abbreviated week, there’s an awful lot of them that struck me as funny…

“Boy, that Deanna’s some quick thinker, huh? ‘How will Santa get in without a chimney?’ ‘Uh — magic!’ ‘What kind of magic?’ ‘It’s a secret!’ She could at least have come up with something involving Ned Tanner and the toilet.” –rich

“Why do Mary Worth storylines start with so much promise but end with this boring talking business? It’s like if the sexy plumber came in to the hot lonely housewife’s place spouting cheesy double-entendres, and then they spent the next hour discussing plumbing rates.” –Citric

“I think Lu Ann’s stunning attractiveness (to the paper people in the little boxes) is based entirely on her being a blonde. Just like Margo is a bitch because she has dark hair and wears it up and Tommie is a deeply-closeted lesbian because she’s a redhead with a boyish bob.” –Jonathan Bogart

“I’m keeping my fingers crossed that this horny docent guy comes back, and that his name turns out to begin with the letter ‘D.’ I just want to refer to him as ‘Dave the Doughy Docent’ so bad.” –Trilobite

“Given all the aggravation Gary Dent is going through, you’d think that Ella was manufacturing light trucks in her apartment. Dent’s hissy fit stretches the credulity of the idea that he could impress a minimum of two women — his wife and a mistress — to the breaking point.” –King Folderol

“But I shouldn’t mock. It’s these literary devices — inexplicable pronoun use; deus ex punching in the mouth; fundamental struggles like Bear vs. Man, Bear vs. Nature, Bear vs. Its Own Kind, and Bear vs. Hostility; tight POV on Lucky the Beaver — that separate Mark Trail from the other nature-based comics featuring a character called Ranger Rick on the market today.” –Laura

“Even before I read Josh’s comments re A3G, I wondered why everyone thinks Lu Ann is so dang attractive. She’s clearly special needs, what with her wide-eyed innocence and constant need to vocalize her inability to find her way around large buildings. Those tricks would never work for me, but then I’m a brunette.” –velouria73

“I’m kinda hoping Becky winds up having her baby on the floor of the comic book store. It’s probably the only time a guy with a ‘Frodo Lives’ T-shirt is going to be in the same room as a woman who isn’t wearing pants.” –SmartPeopleOnIce

“What’s with the emphasis on ‘see’ in Rex Morgan panel 3? ‘I see where this is going?’ What are you trying to clarify, that you don’t smell where this is going?” –Sam L.

“You walk into the room/ with your fishbowl in your hand/ the doctor points to you and he says, what’s that man/ you try so hard/but you can’t understand/ just what you will say to your fish bones/ because six things are different here/ but you don’t know what that is/ do you mister Jones?” –dramashoes

“Beetle clearly suffers from some pretty serious narcolepsy. It’s a good thing he lives in Beetle Bailey, where nobody will ever laugh at him even by accident.” –Rhekarid

“I like to imagine that the books in Deanna’s hands are examples she’s culled for him. ‘Look, this is a real novel! It has a plot! And very few adverbs! Nobody exclaims anything! And you went back in and saved that piece of crap while I had to deal with two hysterical children. God I wish they weren’t yours!'” –MaryAnnTheRest

“To all those who feel a little guilt about enjoying Michael Patterfoob’s demise — yeah, I agree, I felt a little weird getting up every day to read the paper and root for ‘fire.'” –mumbles

“Oh, yeah, Crock’s the real thing, where ‘real’ is a euphemism for ‘sad, actually, and kinda off-putting.'” –Michael

“Once again, we see that human emotion is completely alien to Margo. It’s not a scream of terror, it’s not begging for mercy, so she has no idea what that disgusting sound is.” –Trent

“I wonder how this Mark Trail storyline will finally conclude. My god … is it possible to type that without dying a little inside?” –Joe

And our advertisers get some love as well:

• KFC consumer warning: A video from PETA.
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• You could win $10,000!: Tell TBS: Is it funny or not?
• A new show from Adult Swim: Saul of the Mole Men.

To find out more about advertising on this site, click here.

2006 has been a pretty amazing year for this blog. I’m getting more than twice as many daily visitors today than I was in January, and if you go back to the archives for that month, you’ll see that it was a rarity for a post to get more than 75 comments or so; the last post I put up has gotten more than 100 comments in just a few hours! I’m glad you all enjoy the site and the community that’s grown up around it, and I’m looking forward to having fun with all of you in 2007!