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I’ve been plugging the merchandise steadily, but you and I both know that it’s been getting a bit stale. That’s why tonight I’ve taken some of your ideas and some ideas the Future Mrs. C. and I have been percolating on and revamped the Comics Curmudgeon store! You can still buy the Fence Post Frank hat (our latest model) and the “More Zippers, Mule!” shirts (timeless classics), but the mugs and other t-shirts have been replaced, and we have some sexy new items for you!

First, the new shirts. Show your solidarity with Milford’s unjustly accused by sporting a “Free Hutch” shirt.

Next, prepare for the inevitable spit-take with this fine mug, a desperate attempt to sex up America’s lamest burg.

And finally, what better way to show that you’ve “been there” than to sport boxers, a camisole, or (no, really) a thong that showcases your roadside status?

Thank you to the many fine posters who came up with the ideas for these. Alas, nothing is available from Cafepress in that hideous electric blue color.

Now, once you’ve bought this stuff (as I’m sure you will immediately) you are of course going take a picture of yourself wearing and/or using it and send it to me, right? Of course you are. I’m especially interested in some pictures from the ladies here — almost all of our current models are menfolk! I know the Future Mrs. C. is hard to top, but we strive for gender balance. (Please, though, no thong photos, or at least no photos of your thong on your … thong … area.)

What’s that address again? Glad you asked. It’s http://www.cafepress.com/joshreads, of course. Now go forth and purchase!

Oh, and I almost forgot to add that when I was making the underwear, I said, “I need to find a slutty font for this.” There’s a sentence you don’t get to say very often.

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Yes, it’s that time again, everybody: time to reveal what kinds of sickos and perverts are out there plugging their filthy and baffling search terms into Google and other, lesser, search engines. The latest crop included: “past mother’s day foxtrot comics -dance -suicide -waltz” (because you sure don’t want any alarming dance-related results), “can god bring you back from the dead to have super powers” (he only did it once, I’m sorry to say), “funny things to put on a gravestone,” “when bc was funny” (I suppose there must have been a time), “hilarious comics about adultery” (is there any other kind?), “angry fat kid rapping” (Brent really seems more befuddled than angry to me), “hair styles of the rich and filthy rich,” and “how to tell if you have high cheekbones” (“Step 1: Get a mirror”). Also, someone sent me a secret message via the search engines: “how are you today josh? read any good comics?” Very well, thanks, but no, I haven’t today.

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So here I am, a week from my last post, desperately trying to stave off a comment-based insurrection. Not by actually putting up a new comic or anything, but still. J-to-the-osh is behind, is casting aside the old comics as he takes the recycling out, and will be back with new stuff tomorrow. Typical excuses: busy with the cursed work and social life that molds my trenchant wit and yet keeps me from my muse. Curses! Meanwhile, I hope the new comment of the week is some small consolation to you all.

Oh yeah, and one other thing: in order to stave off comment spam, my ISP has put some kind of tougher server-side controls in. That means that some comments, for reasons I’m not quite clear on, are going into a comment queue that I have to moderate. If this happens to your comment, do not panic: I will do what I have to do to get it on the site in short order. In particular, do not attempt to post the same comment, like, a kajillion times.