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Back at the turn of the century, when I was working at a doomed San Francisco dot-com, our CEO used to say that everything was about “dollars and eyeballs.” Our job, as he put it, was to “monetize eyeballs.” (He also referred to revealing our troubled financial situation to potential investors as “opening the kimono,” but that’s a traumatic story for a different time.)

Anyway, it’s recently occurred to me that there’s a page on this site that gets an awful lot of eyeballs, but hasn’t been monetized: the comments pop-up! The way I see it, the lot of you compulsively-commenting bastards could be paying your way with lucrative ad impressions. So I’m going waste some time this afternoon trying to see if I can jimmy an ad strip onto that thing. What with my rudimentary HTML skills, you may notice that the comment page is thus a little screwed up. Don’t panic! I’ll post an update here when I think I’m done; if it’s still screwed up, then you can panic.

Update: OK, I think it’s working right. If you’re having problems with the comments page, though, please e-mail me and let me know. Screenshots are helpful.

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One of the fun parts of doing the merch photos is that you get to meet your fellow commentors. This model posts under the nom de blog of Zipper the Mule, and she liiiiikes her gin.

Keep them pics coming, kids!

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As I noted last month, sometimes my ISP puts comments that it suspects to be spam into a queue. I have to sign off on said comments in order for them to appear on the site. I urged you then to not panic and/or repost your comment a jillion times if it does not appear as soon as you post it. This advice has largely gone unheeded, which means that I often have to figure out which out of seven or eight near-identical comments to approve. So, here’s a tip for y’all: one word that seems to guarantee indefinite detention in Comment Guantanomo Bay is that acronym beloved by spamming pornographers and lonely perverted comics readers alike: MILF. WoodrowFan in a comment proposed CILF as a non-filter-triggering alternative (with the C standing for cartoon). So go nuts, sleazebags!

Update: Apparently the innocent toponym Milford also gets caught, by association. Thanks to daChipster for the detective work. As a euphemism for Milford, I suggest the phrase poorly drawn hell on Earth.