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With Carol Hartsell, the newest model for our fine line of Comics Curmudgeon merchandise, we have now doubled the representation of the fairer sex in our sidebar ads.

Carol is married to Medium Large and Sally Forth scribe Francesco Marciuliano, so don’t make any crude comments unless you want to wake up with Ted Forth’s head in your bed.

We still need some pics of those fab Milford tourism mugs! Ditto on the roadside boxers! The fact that nobody’s actually purchased the latter product yet is, as the future Mrs. Curmudgeon put it earlier this evening, no excuse.

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I’ve been plugging the merchandise steadily, but you and I both know that it’s been getting a bit stale. That’s why tonight I’ve taken some of your ideas and some ideas the Future Mrs. C. and I have been percolating on and revamped the Comics Curmudgeon store! You can still buy the Fence Post Frank hat (our latest model) and the “More Zippers, Mule!” shirts (timeless classics), but the mugs and other t-shirts have been replaced, and we have some sexy new items for you!

First, the new shirts. Show your solidarity with Milford’s unjustly accused by sporting a “Free Hutch” shirt.

Next, prepare for the inevitable spit-take with this fine mug, a desperate attempt to sex up America’s lamest burg.

And finally, what better way to show that you’ve “been there” than to sport boxers, a camisole, or (no, really) a thong that showcases your roadside status?

Thank you to the many fine posters who came up with the ideas for these. Alas, nothing is available from Cafepress in that hideous electric blue color.

Now, once you’ve bought this stuff (as I’m sure you will immediately) you are of course going take a picture of yourself wearing and/or using it and send it to me, right? Of course you are. I’m especially interested in some pictures from the ladies here — almost all of our current models are menfolk! I know the Future Mrs. C. is hard to top, but we strive for gender balance. (Please, though, no thong photos, or at least no photos of your thong on your … thong … area.)

What’s that address again? Glad you asked. It’s http://www.cafepress.com/joshreads, of course. Now go forth and purchase!

Oh, and I almost forgot to add that when I was making the underwear, I said, “I need to find a slutty font for this.” There’s a sentence you don’t get to say very often.

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Yes, it’s that time again, everybody: time to reveal what kinds of sickos and perverts are out there plugging their filthy and baffling search terms into Google and other, lesser, search engines. The latest crop included: “past mother’s day foxtrot comics -dance -suicide -waltz” (because you sure don’t want any alarming dance-related results), “can god bring you back from the dead to have super powers” (he only did it once, I’m sorry to say), “funny things to put on a gravestone,” “when bc was funny” (I suppose there must have been a time), “hilarious comics about adultery” (is there any other kind?), “angry fat kid rapping” (Brent really seems more befuddled than angry to me), “hair styles of the rich and filthy rich,” and “how to tell if you have high cheekbones” (“Step 1: Get a mirror”). Also, someone sent me a secret message via the search engines: “how are you today josh? read any good comics?” Very well, thanks, but no, I haven’t today.