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I apologize for not posting this sooner, but I did want to note that Margaret Shulock, who was one of the founding Six Chix, and, perhaps more importantly for the history of this blog, the longtime writer of Apartment 3-G, passed away last month. The Daily Cartoonist has a good obituary (which notes that she was a gag writer for Snuffy Smith as well). I dearly loved and miss her work on Apartment 3-G, and I hope she knew how many of us enjoyed it.

Anyway! Let us smile, and move on, with our comment of the week!

“Wilbur took Pierre to the dog park one time and it immediately landed him multiple dates with a woman to whom he was attracted, which Wilbur then screwed up completely of his own accord. Pierre can do his job. The dog situation has been going just fine. The problem is, as always, the Wilbur situation.” –jroggs

Our runners up are also funny!

“Sure, Dennis could go to college and study science if he wants to become an astronaut. Or, he could drop out of college, start a billion-dollar internet business, and pay for his own rocket ship. Did you ever think of that, Margaret? Well, don’t worry, adult Dennis isn’t about to do either one when he’s selling knockoff pot gummies in the alley behind the car wash.” –BigTed

“‘The past is never the past. It is always the present’ is the kind of thing people say when they’re as baked as Estelle looks in panel three.” –Hibbleton

“‘November Halloween plot’ is that special touch you only get from strips that have lasted maybe 20 years longer than the point at which, if they were human, you’d gently stop letting them drive.” –Dan

“Pam makes a classic rookie mistake, asking Ed what he’s doing. Look, Pam, the computer is keeping your dad occupied. That’s enough. Will it have devastating legal and financial consequences down the line? Possibly. But that’s tomorrow’s problem.” –Joe Blevins

“Pretty subdued start to the weeks long Crock Finale arc where, their shoddy cistern having suddenly been drained of water, the inhabitants of the fort all succumb to dehydration and madness, turning on each other before abandoning the fort to … whatever they were out there to hold it against in the first place, maybe these two guys?” –BananaSam

“How could you miss: ‘They tell us whut ther runnin’ fer — ah wanna see what they’ll run from!’ I mean, it’s right there! I guess Snuffy’s laziness extends to punchlines.” –Pozzo

“Unlike in TV shows in which everyone sits on one side of the table with their faces to the camera no matter how unrealistic it looks, the Mary Worth artist breaks convention to spare the audience Wilbur’s visage. We, the audience, thank you.” –georgiabob

“For Pete’s sake, is Lois’s life so boring that she’s taken to sneaking up on her baby just to freak her out? ‘Hmmm, I would rate the subject’s startle response at a reaction time of +8, with a standard 25% flinch presentation. No crying, just pouting this time. Is the subject becoming desensitized? The contents of her diaper may provide the answer at some point. Perhaps a more aggressive form of peek-a-boo at bedtime is in order.’” –made of wince

“Wilson. THIS IS YOUR CHANCE, Wilson. Tell him yes. Tell him that yes, forever he should be quiet, never make another sound, this is your FOOT you’re dealing with here, does Dennis want you to lose your foot? Well, DOES HE?! The door is open, Wilson. The door. Is open. All you have to do is raise those pins and needles and hop on through. Don’t screw this up.” –els

“Haha, Wilbur’s on the verge of tears, but it’s not stopping him from shoveling more spaghetti (?) in his mouth with a fork he’s holding like a pencil, presumably so it won’t slip from his grasp when it’s made slippery by his tears. He’s so good at this it’s almost as if crying during mealtimes is a regular occurrence for him!” –Thelonious_Nick

“A beatnik, eh? Gotta say, I admire Tribune’s commitment to raising its artists and writers in a remote commune and allowing popular culture to trickle through at a pace that makes glaciers envious.” –Tabby Lavalamp

“There is only one hermeneutical principle necessary for interpreting any given Six Chix, which is to ask yourself: how many magic mushrooms the artist has been ingesting. Today’s outing: 3 grams, tripping balls, very psilocybin. (Not being a mushroom kind of guy myself, I had to do a little research for this comment. A quick Google search brought up a mushroom dispensary as the second result. Not for the first or last time, a mudge has gone on an FBI list for the sake of a joke! We do it all for the love of you.)” –pastordan

“Hypnosis is soooooo October lol.” –Artist formerly known as Ben

“Klik! Oh. I hope today wasn’t the the day the boss volunteered to drive orphans and puppies to the amusement park.” –Voshkod

“I dunno, Mary. Wilbur expressed his emotions when he got mad at Libby and when he told Carol he still had feelings for Estelle. If anything, he should try keeping his emotions to himself.” –Flipper

“‘I hate it when they serve fish with the head on it.’ ‘Then why did you order the whole sea bass?’ ‘I needed an excuse to leave a lousy tip.’” –Rube

“Estelle just can’t catch a break with romance! First an internet scammer, then Wilbur, now a robot doctor who’s already failing the Turing Test.” –jenna

Remember: If you want an ad-free version of this site sent to you every day via email, for $3 a month you can become a Comics Curmudgeon newsletter subscriber! And if you never want to see banner ads on this site, and want to get cool comment-editing features to boot, for the same low price you can become a Comics Curmudgeon website subscriber! And if you just want to give me money directly, you can put some scratch in my tip jar, or back me on Patreon! Thanks to all for your support and readership!

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Your COTW is early this week but do not be alarmed! It is due to an Unavoidable Schedule Thing and the rest of our publishing schedule will proceed as normally. COTW on Friday again next week, but until then, here’s this week comment of the week:

“Dennis the Menace’s idea of a cool, young, single guy looks like the assistant manager of a TJ Maxx in a failing mall. Maybe to Henry Mitchell, that is pretty cool. ‘Look at that pink, scribbly necktie! I bet he got a nice employee discount on that. And I bet he’s only three or four payments behind on that sweet ride, too!’” –Joe Blevins

And the very funny (and early) runners up!

“What’s really hurting the USPS, and society in general to be honest, is the dwindling number of people who would take the time and resources to write a real letter, put a stamp on it, and send it to the newspaper complaining that something like today’s Six Chix doesn’t make sense, they don’t get it, and they’re angry about it. Pluggers are disappearing, essentially.” –Tabby Lavalamp

“Rex momentarily considers tightening his tie just a little more to bring about asphyxiation and get out of not only the wedding but his house. Sadly, he swallows down the bile and soldiers on.” –Needless_Exposition

“Am I the only one dying to see the first half of this conversation that leads to Hi pulling a ‘Well, actually’ on his wife regarding the relative strength and firmness of his feet? Wait, don’t answer that.” –Doctor Moreau

“I bought the rest of the town! Everyone who was mean to you in Starbucks has been evicted from their homes! Surprise!” –Rosstifer

“Lois looking aghast at Hi’s magic feet reminds me of nothing so much as the Wicked Witch of the West regarding the ruby slippers on Dorothy. Suppose Lois were to, say, try to remove Hi’s feet and get electrocuted? To clarify, I’m not saying I want that to happen; I’m saying I need it to happen.” –Violet

“It’s nice to get these little insights into the editing process at a major comics syndicate. Like today, we learned that if you submit the line, ‘Here comes Dennis. Find my tranquilizers, Martha!’ you get back a comment that says, ‘Sound like he’s going to drug/murder a child.’”–Dan

“So, his security is a genie, electric cockroach girl, and a natty bandito? Honestly, once you’ve hired the genie, I think you’re good, but I salute his emphasis on diversity in hiring.” –Voshkod

“What’s the point of protesting to ban time travel? If the protest works, then time travel will never have existed, so you’d have nothing to protest. Hmph! Newbies!” –Dr. Larry Erhardt

“I gave full credit to the empathy of the Mary Worth’s artist. She knew she had to depict Wilbur longingly looking at his ex’s pictures and she took good care of showing his hands well above the desk.” –Ettorre

“While I fully believe that Wilbur likes piña coladas and is not into yoga or health food, I question the probability that he can stay up long enough (in various senses of the term) to make love at midnight — to say nothing of the ‘half a brain’ qualification.” –TheDiva

“The absence of drinks and chips make me think that the game ended long ago and the Flagstons are settling down to watch 60 Minutes. Thurston wakes up, sees Anderson Cooper, and half drunkenly mutters, ‘God! Al Michaels hasn’t aged well.’” –Hibbleton

“Whenever Wilbur presses the Escape key, his laptop plays ‘Escape (The Piña Colada Song)’. When he presses the Control key, it plays Janet Jackson’s ‘Control’. The Caps Lock key just makes all the letters uppercase.” –Anonymous

“The first stop on our Santa Royale bus tour is Charterstone, a rare example of Modern Horror architecture. Note the skewed angles of the Charterstone condo building, which denote the work of the famed architect of New England’s notorious Hill House, Hugh Crain. Here, Crain has abandoned his more Gothic predilections for a bare and streamlined design more suited to the California poolside lifestyle. But even in the brutalist lines of this work, we can see Hugh Crain’s signature style, the total absence of 90-degree angles anywhere within the structure. The windows are also noteworthy for their expressive messages to the casual observer; those at Hill House seeming to warn visitors from approaching the mansion, whilst here at Charterstone they fairly stream with abject fear, as if they were frantically looking to break free from their fixed frames in order to escape from whatever walks within.” –Charterstoned

“I just hope we’ll get to see Estelle sit in Pierre’s piss now.” –nescio

Remember: If you want an ad-free version of this site sent to you every day via email, for $3 a month you can become a Comics Curmudgeon newsletter subscriber! And if you never want to see banner ads on this site, and want to get cool comment-editing features to boot, for the same low price you can become a Comics Curmudgeon website subscriber! And if you just want to give me money directly, you can put some scratch in my tip jar, or back me on Patreon! Thanks to all for your support and readership!

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Ka-blam! It’s your comment of the week:

“Sorry, the only QR Dagwood recognizes is ‘Quiznos Reuben.’” –Pozzo

Ka-POW! It’s your runners up:

“The Hootin’ Holler Olympics is sponsored by Mountain Dew Rise, the only energy drink powerful enough to fuel a whole townful of men as they spend another week not looking for paid work of any kind.” –BigTed

“I like how both Dustin and his dad twist their heads just 45 degrees in a feigned attempt to say something to Dustin’s mom as she sadly leaves. ‘Were you going t–…No, you go ahead and … uh … ah, she’s probably fine.’” –pugfuggly

“The International Olympic Committee is a highly corrupt farce of an organization but they’re also very protective of their brand so for once I’ll be on their side as they send an army of lawyers to shut down Hootin’ Holler.” –Tabby Lavalamp

“I am sitting in a chair and slumping as hard as I can possibly slump, and my knees aren’t as high up as Dustin’s in panel 3. Never say he doesn’t excel at anything.” –matt w

“Funky Winkerbean: Hahahaha! I mean, oh no.” –Noel

“I think Crankshaft has stumbled onto a working formula: Ed spouts vaguely apocalyptic nonsense, causing those around him to panic and seek solace in religion.” –Joe Blevins

“Les and Cayla got up that morning, got cleaned up, ate breakfast, and went to a pumpkin patch. Once they got there maybe an hour later, Les casually mentioned, ‘Oh yeah, by the way, remember that Hollywood movie based on the book I wrote about the woman I wish I was still married too? It tanked, like an anvil in a lake, heh heh. You probably didn’t know that because you never would check the news or reviews on the internet. I don’t either, really, I got an email about it several days ago from a movie star we know but I never bothered to tell you.’

How could any of this be possible? The only conceivable, realistic analysis here is that Cayla finally has moved out or thrown Les out, possibly over his emotional fling with the actor playing Dead Wife Lisa or maybe just his continuing neglect and necrophilia, and this is their weekly rendezvous at the marriage counselor’s office. Anxious to avoid another smirking, pun-filled confrontation before they enter the office, Cayla blames the movie’s promotion rather than the fact the story was trite and tired, ‘a disaster best run late at night on the Hallmark Channel,’ and the film poorly acted — she’s actually read the reviews. Especially the one where the reviewer from Vulture confessed to laughing at the wrong moments. Cayla laughed too. Meanwhile the counselor waits. He is Dr. Linus Van Pelt, all grown up and secretly (and quite insanely) still waiting for the Great Pumpkin to rise from the estate around his home office. ‘Westview is sincere in its misery,’ Dr. Van Pelt tells his security blanket, ‘and I have tapped into the mother lode. I have seen him already,’ Van Pelt adds, not realizing that in fact he only has seen Funky on his morning run.

Across the park, meanwhile, a woman strides to a nearby church, in order to pray for her father to die.” –Little Blue Bicycle

“Damn, can’t believe Snuffy Smith is just openly defecating in there. Well, actually, I can.” –Irrischano

“I can tell Carol won’t make it to the ‘Fighting Wilburbabies Nightmare’ stage of the relationship. She may not make it to the dessert stage of this dinner, if she’s smart.” –georgiabob

“Hi looks dejected because the twins don’t want some of his Cream of Lois’s Wig soup.” –nescio

“You’re going to put Claxton to sleep? I prefer sending Claxton to live the rest of his days on a farm.” –Liam

“I know my limits, but those don’t extend so far as to prevent me from eating this … coin?” –Charterstoned

“Les straining his body to the limit hoisting a mid-sized pumpkin into his car made my day. First he tried reading poetry at it, then musing on the fate of arthouse cinemas, and nothing worked. Finally he was forced to resort to labor, like a common … god, what do you even call someone who’s not an artist?!” –Dan

“The deeper underlying story must be why Carol is so desperate. It’s one thing to date someone you have little in common with, but she can see, hear, and presumably smell Wilbur, right?” –Rosstifer

“Welcome to the HAUNTED WELDING SHOP, kids! It’s SCA-A-A-ARY! You’ll see cracks! Inclusions! Porosities! Undercuts and underfills! All leading to… CATASTROPHIC STRUCTURAL FAILURE! MWA-HA-HA-HA-HAAA!” –Peanut Gallery

“I hope Sam doesn’t scooch back and kill that bush with his oily hair. He’s already gotten grease stains all over his seat. I pity his pillow cases.” –made of wince

Remember: If you want an ad-free version of this site sent to you every day via email, for $3 a month you can become a Comics Curmudgeon newsletter subscriber! And if you never want to see banner ads on this site, and want to get cool comment-editing features to boot, for the same low price you can become a Comics Curmudgeon website subscriber! And if you just want to give me money directly, you can put some scratch in my tip jar, or back me on Patreon! Thanks to all for your support and readership!