Archive: metaposts

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OK, not quite 20 years, as I didn’t start picking a comment of the week until April 2005, and didn’t start doing weekly roundups until September 2006, but still: this storied tradition continues as usual, today, and every week, forever:

A leather wearing lady and an elongated sandwich? That’s a dom/sub relationship.” –Philip

Your runners up also carry the torch of all who came before them!

“Nothing like barging in on your dad while he’s on his laptop and thinks you’re 2000 miles away. Dawn’s next line: ‘So, I see you’re still into fish porn.’” –Peanut Gallery

“Think of all the majestic views we could have been enjoying of historic Bridgeport, Waterbury, and the Groton Submarine Works.” –Ukulele Ike

“Walt pretty much had to go through God for this damage claim. Whoever he insured his house through originally would have died nearly a hundred years ago.” –jroggs

“So Slylock rounded up the suspects and they just happened to be called Tony and Frederico? If you thought Slylock’s anti-amphibian racial profiling was bad, just wait until you hear what the Italian-American Civil Rights League has to say.” –Schroduck

“Extra wrinkle in the case is the fact that the alleged ‘frog’ has a belly button, a smoking gun for placental mammalian lineage. I sense unacknowledged Count Weirdly offspring.” –Artist formerly known as Ben

Giving the sandwich eyes makes things even more complicated. Is this some kind of lab experiment where a sandwich has become a sentient being? Is the bread alive and the sandwich fillings are inanimate? Or does placing the meat and cheese into the bread give it life? This is a lot to stomach.” –Old School Allie Cat

“The best detail of Six Chix today is that our inamorata was already pretty deep into her make-out session with a giant sandwich before she found out it could speak. What did she think before this point? That the sandwich was merely large and inanimate? That it was animate but ultimately mute? Presumably she was angling towards eating the sandwich; has this revelation changed her plans at all?” –BananaSam

“Now is it possible, just possible, that Dawn’s mother was grooming her to inherit her international crime syndicate, and sent her back when she failed some unspoken test? That’s probably too exciting for Mary Worth, but it did happen in The Phantom, so it can’t be that exciting.” –Navigator

You think that’s uncomfortable? Just look at my body! I have the ribcage of an obese pigeon! My arm isn’t even connected to my torso! For this hat to stay on I must be a conehead!!” –pugfuggly

“Jeffy is going to be punished severely for referencing ‘horses’ where he could have used ‘Jesus.’” –nescio

“Judging from the shovel, my guess is Cherry’s next line will be: ‘Only you can prevent forest fires!’ These will also be her last words.” –Pozzo

“The bear speaks fluent ursine as well, Cherry. So when you tell him to leave, he’s just going to say ‘no.’” –cheech wizard

“Poor Greta. Braces aren’t going to fix the generations of forced inbreeding that resulted in the misery you live through every day. Look at the bright side though. If you were human, you’d be royalty.” –Tabby Lavalamp

Rex Morgan M.D. is a ‘Schlubs Paradise’ where a middle-aged man’s doughy and uninteresting charms can reign supreme in all aspects of life. I’ve always said Wilbur is in the wrong comic. He should come over to Rex’s strip where he can live like a king! A sweaty, mediocre king!” –2+2=7

“‘Look, Parker, people get bullied for all sorts of…’ ‘Shut up, old man, before I jam an IV into your eye.’ ‘Sorry, Parker.’ ‘Man, I feel better already. Maybe bullying is for me!’ Feeling down, depressed, hospitalized? Is bullying for you? Ask your doctor, unless your doctor is Rex Morgan. Then ask a different doctor. Side effects of bullying may include high self-esteem, an increased peer group, and bruised knuckles. Bullying. It’s for everyone!” –Voshkod

“Pluggers live in hot climates and dress appropriately? I’m not feeling this one.” –matt w

“This is Milford! We have no use for your Lord and your Roy Rogers’ manager cosplay! Hell, most of the kids think you’re wearing the Arby’s logo. Is that how you want to be remembered? As the guy in the Arby’s hat?” –KMD

“I wonder what poor actor Frank Nelson who died 38 years ago could possibly have done to be in a Hell where he has to be semi-regularly summoned from the grave to appear in a Gasoline Alley comic strip? Of course, that makes me wonder what I did to wind up in this reality where Gasoline Alley continues to be published. Something so horrible, I must have blocked it from my conscious mind.” –Old Man Shadow

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Folks, I want you to cast your minds back to the long-forgotten year 2004. A young man not yet 30 had decided to try out this “blogging” thing that seemed to be getting so much attention those days, focusing on his favorite under-appreciated art form, the newspaper comic strips. He started on July 11th of that year with a post about Non Sequitur, a strip that he would soon bore of. The next day, however? The next day … was pure gold.

Mary Worth, 7/12/2004

That’s right: I, your faithful comics curmudgeon, have been talking about Wilbur Weston’s sex life since 2004. As is only meet and proper, for this momentous occasion, I have decided to bring back my beloved CafePress store and urge you to purchase a t-shirt or other item that shares this fact and this message with the whole world!

Anyway! Twenty years is a long time to be doing anything — so long that it kind of snuck up on me and I didn’t put together an elaborate series of anniversaposts like I did in 2014 — but I still love the comics, still love doing the blog, and still love all of you. Big thanks to Uncle Lumpy for being a great fill-in, and to you all for being faithful and funny readers and commenters, whether you started reading yesterday or in 2004! Your reward: You get to read this blog again tomorrow, and the next day, and the day after that, and (assuming the comics and the internet still exist and the sun has not expanded to a red giant to swallow the earth) so forth, indefinitely.

And finally, since I must always be closing: if you think that 20 years of looking at ads on this website is enough and want an elegant, ad-free experience, perhaps I can interest you in a subscription, either to a no-ads version of the site or an ad-free email version of each post delivered to your inbox each morning? Just a thought! No worries if not, no paywall will ever descend to block access to this important cultural artifact. Normal comics jokes resume tomorrow! But until then, feel free to sound off in the comments about how this blog has changed your life.

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Would you like a comment of the week for your long holidy weekend, or perhaps your one-day return to work, or perhaps you don’t even live in America or have a job? Well here it is, whatever your circumstances:

“They may have gotten the font wrong, but at least they still used a banner headline, which is what newspapers do for stories of mildly passing interest.” –Missal

Your runners up are also here for you to enjoy!

“Marvin’s recent shift to speaking instead of just thought-bubbling was weird, but developmentally made sense. But narratively this means everyone has to talk now, including the animals, and I don’t really like the implications of this. It takes things from ‘Magical realist whimsy about the inner lives of children and animals’ to ‘Cats are intelligent and have declared economic war on mankind with their only weapon: shitting.’” –Schroduck

“Mary, meanwhile, pays her respects by mournfully grabbing Jeff’s ass. Considering that she hooked up with one of her many suitors at his mother’s passing, it’s clear that funerals really get the ol’ gal going. No wonder she was so eager to arrange all this dead fish silliness: If she can spice up her stagnant love life with the deathly pallor of eroticism, she’ll happily put up with Wilbur’s blathering about ‘closure’ or whatever.” –2+2=7

“You’d think given how much newspaper cartoonists love golf at least one of them would put in the effort to work out what hands look like when holding a golf club.” –Veronica

“There are a lot of extremely nasty and unhealthy relationships in the comics, some of which are even noticed by the cartoonists who make them. The Halftracks’ marriage has always been in the mix, but this vaults them from the low-boiling comfortable contempt of the Lockhorns up to just south of the outright substance abuse and domestic violence of the Thurstons and Capps. Sure, Mrs. Halftrack hasn’t taken to ‘humorously’ beating her husband yet, but she has reached the point of abject hatred where every single thing her husband does infuriates her and prompts her to aggressively impose her will over him. Grim stuff. Almost as grim as a cartoon that thinks a drawing of a putting green makes for a serviceable comedic punchline.” –jroggs

Hi and Lois having another strip about golf: Stop this, no one but cartoonist cares about golf! Hi and Lois having a strip where they are having a mental breakdown and need to be held: Stop this, I don’t want this to be relatable!” –Ettore Costa, on Bluesky

“[Stellan floating head approaches] Mary: [shakes head] [Stellan floating head recedes]” –Kevin on Earth

“3/15/2024: The National Association of Realtors announces a settlement ending their standard 6% commission. 7/1/2024: Lois experiences a very bad day. Coincidence? Probably. Grim? Oh my, yes. [Chortles darkly]” –I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV

“Nice of this strip to show the perils of making a phone call while on the can.” –taig

“The print media pool has shrunk so much in Milford that the newspaper doesn’t even bother putting their name on the banner. Which newspaper? The news paper. You know the one.” –pugfuggly

“It’s nice to see Gil worrying if he held his ex-wife back as he sits there comfortably reading the newspaper while his new girlfriend cooks his breakfast for him.” –Tabby Lavalamp

Clover Wins First Championship, Sedge Takes Second, Moss a Distant Third, Grass a Surprising Last in National Groundcover Competition” –Voshkod

“My sympathies lie with the Dad in the background who clearly doesn’t want to be there and who’s about to get an earful from his wife as he hands his kid a stick of cotton-candy by the spun sugar end.” –Hibbleton

“I would not call slipping into a deep depression after the loss of a goldfish a quirk.” –Liam

“Dolly stares with cool curiosity. ‘These humans experience violent distress,’ she thinks. ‘I can turn this to my advantage.’ She’s packed more menace into this look than Dennis has accomplished in seventy-plus years.” –matt w

“Walt is canonically 124 years old and still both mentally sharp and able to stand on his own. He should be making millions from all the scientists studying him for the secrets to immortality. $7,000 is a pittance compared to that.” –The Ghost of Jarrod

“Mr. Huff? Glenwood Police Department here. We want to let you know that we’ve recovered the missing sleeves from your undershirt, as well as the missing ‘g’ from the word ‘calling’ whose elision by you, together with the undershirt you’re wearing, identify you unmistakably as a cartoon member of the Exposition Lower Classes.” –Bob Tice

“So Randy’s problems are environmental AND hereditary: a brutish father and a genetic predisposition to crew cuts.” –MKay

“The first guy here appears to be drinking a shark smoothie, which he blended up in his Bass-o-Matic. Meanwhile, the other guy is sipping pure shark’s blood through a straw, which is how you know he’s a rage-aholic weirdo. We can only hope a shark attacks both of them out of pure revenge, but it’s more likely we’ll just get three more months of two-person dialogue scenes, which are far easier to draw.” –BigTed

“The right way to celebrate our independence was to ditch Wilbur.” –Little Blue Bicycle

“I want to hear the rest of this kid’s tight five. How many more questions does he have in that chamber? ‘Which one was funnier — Lewis or Clark? What was Jamestown really like? Were you a bigger fan of the Angles, Saxons, or Jutes? What are your thoughts on people who sell bad copper?’” –els

“In the world of Hagar the Horrible, they have window glass and chef’s costuming (kerchief, spatula, chef’s hat), but nobody can hem a goddamn shirt sleeve.” –Handsome Harry Backstayge, Idol of a Million Other Women

Remember: If you want an ad-free version of this site sent to you every day via email, for $3 a month you can become a Comics Curmudgeon newsletter subscriber! And if you never want to see banner ads on this site, and want to get cool comment-editing features to boot, for the same low price you can become a Comics Curmudgeon website subscriber! And if you just want to give me money directly, you can put some scratch in my tip jar, or back me on Patreon! Thanks to all for your support and readership!

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