Post Content

Happy Friday all! Your COTW in a moment, but first, fun fact: I’m actually going to be in a live LA comedy show that’s not my show in a week and a day! If you’re in or near North Hollywood on Leap Day, check me out on the always wacky Late Late Breakfast at 5 pm! Whee!

But you don’t have to wait that long for your comment of the week!

“I wonder how many variations of the phrase ‘No really, I have a boyfriend in France’ Dawn has rehearsed trying to find one that sounds plausible to herself, let alone other people. Because she needs to try at least one more.” –Francisco Arrowroot

And here are your hilarious runners up!

“Literally the entire last week of Mary Worth was Hugo and Dawn declaring how they love each other and are committed to making this long-distance relationship work while Wilbur does everything possible to rain on their parade, usually by repeating some variation on ‘You live in different countries, though.’ I did not suffer through that just to see Wilbur proven right.” –Joe Blevins

“Check out the window in the background. Fozzie Bear has seen some shit.” –Lee Sherman

“Even weirder with Dennis The Menace is that it’s a federal holiday, so the mailman has no business delivering anything today. Maybe he just wants to randomly hang out with Mr. Wilson too.” –jeltranksss

“You never met my father. Neither have I. [Sobs uncontrollably]” –Ettorre

“In Dorkworld, a popular flirting ritual consists of a female’s impressing a potential mate by demonstrating that she can eat a slice of pizza while balancing it on her fingertips. ‘How delicate and skillful!’ thinks the male dork. Look for more details in an upcoming Sunday Mark Trail strip.” –seismic-2

“Now that we’ve talked for an hour, and he’s sure to be frozen to death, let’s call in a helicopter. I need to get home and pontificate about the internet some more. Mingma! Bring me my secure flip phone! Yes, Genie, justice has been done tonight.” –Little Blue Bicycle

“I like the way the narration box in Mary Worth pointedly describes Dawn as settling into a quiet booth and studying, rather than her actual activity of scanning the pizza place looking for anyone she might be able to talk to or flirt with to avoid having to actually doing her homework.” –Thelonious_Nick

“I refuse to believe a malapropism-obsessed man named Crankshaft does not want sex. It opens whole new vistas of uncomfortable wordplay.” –Dan

“Quick, we have to loot all of his insulin before he returns, we can sell it for hundreds of dollars a dose in the U.S.!” –DevOpsDad

“Props to Rex Morgan, BTW, for capturing that look in panel two where she’s clearly contemplating murdering Rex just to escape this conversation. Really really nailed it.” –toxic

“I gotta think about whether I’d rather see that lug again or just clean up by taking you to court for this gross violation of ethics and privacy. After all, I could use the dough, but I’ll admit I’m a little curious about his hair now.” –Old Man Muffaroo

“Maybe the point of this story is that Harvey becomes the very yeti he was looking for, lost in the mountains whistling to himself and he tries to reclaim his lost leg. That’s be a pretty epic twist! Sure, the timeline wouldn’t actually make any sense at all, but then his thing is social media and they like to show things out of order anyway so that’s just extra commentary.” –pachoo

“My theory that Six Chix is drawn by vampires in an attempt to normalize their horrible lifestyle continues to hold up. Look at them. Children of the night. What horrible art they make.” –Voshkod

“I wasn’t expecting Mark Trail to turn into a supervillain origin story. That’s right, folks. Dr. Camel will take this opportunity to reinvent himself as … Dr. Icing! The diabetic supervillain with some kind of … sugar/snow theme going on? I’m not sure. Haven’t really thought it through, but considering he already went from ‘Losing a leg to diabetes’ to ‘Attacked by a Yeti,’ I doubt he’ll put much thought into his new persona, either.” –WLP

“It sure is hilarious how so many young people have a serious problem with addiction to technology and lack of human interaction, while we adults just enable them and laugh! Ha ha!” –JJ48

“Pluggers are not dying to try a new restaurant. What the hell is this.” –matt w

“Is Dennis promoting the patriarchy by gendering ‘mailer daemon,’ or promoting anarchy by rejecting ‘postmaster’?”” –KevinR

“‘Tonight you’re a menace. When you see an opening–’ ‘I … report an opening?’” –Handsome Harry Backstayge, Idol of a Million Other Women

Remember, if you want to buy ads on this site and get a shoutout in these metaposts, head on over to my BuySellAds page! If you never want to see banner ads on this site, and get cool comment-editing features to boot, for a mere three dollars a month you can become a Comics Curmudgeon Supporter! If you just want to give me money directly, you can put some scratch in my tip jar, or back me on Patreon! Thanks to all for your support and readership!

Post Content

Enjoy your Valentine’s Day funniest comment of the week, everyone!

“‘I’m not a fan of corny piano singalongs!’ in the Mary Worthiverse counts as an absolutely SAVAGE burn. ‘Corny’ is like the F-word there.” –The Great Joe Bivins

Your runners up are also hilarious, and quite romantic

“Snuffy Smif has a tackle box? Does he tie his own flies? Does he visit Scotland in the salmon season and hobnob with lairds? Sorry, but real hillbillies fish with dynamite.” –Mysterious Shirtless Lawyer

“The bindle has been comics shorthand for ‘running away from home’ since … well, since science first realized that children are really just homeless drifters at heart. So, is Daddy Daze a contemporary, minimalist approach to the daily comics, or the same old tropes with crappier art? Is this preverbal toddler going to get a forked-branch slingshot, is what I’m asking.” –Handsome Harry Backstayge, Idol of a Million Other Women

“It’s funny because Jess is justifiably angry at Darrin for making superfluous purchases with money they could have used for essentials, and now expects him to take responsibility for the situation.” –TheDiva

“He may be clean-shaven, but based on Slylock’s explanation, he certainly didn’t bring Ockam’s Razor in there.” –Weaselboy

“What do you fill chocolates with that can clog up a toilet? Surgical gauze?” –Curtis Adams

“As Slylock mauls the screaming Weirdly-bot, Deputy Duck stands there stoically, telling himself it’s just a robot, it’s just a robot, it can’t feel anything, that screaming and pleading is all just programming, and that blood, my Dog the blood, that’s just hydraulic fluid or something. Max just sighs and prepares for yet another civilian review board.” –Voshkod

“So, Genie is willing to partner up with a guy who is a bit delusional, but demonstrates a love of the outdoors and there is no sex involved. Should Cherry be worried?” –The Mighty Captain E

“Curtis’s father won’t be smiling for long when he realizes his son both violated HIPAA and that he’s losing his insurance when his bad back is considered a ‘pre-existing condition.’” –Spunky The Wonder Squid

“Elmo is calling seesaws scary. Maybe the issue isn’t actually what’s being done to protect kids today, it’s specifically what his school needs to do to protect him.” –pachoo

“Despite his menacing reputation, Dennis has very limited power. I mean, just look at this sorry display. He tells his parents not to look at him, and what do they do?” –Joe Blevins

“Really disappointed to see that this is a flashback, as I was really looking forward to seeing Dick Tracy kick the shit out of some fifth-grader.” –pugfuggly

“Little Shaky will grow up to be a devotee of dominatrices, but his tiny pre-pubescent brain doesn’t understand his twisted urges, so for now he just wants someone to beat him up. I mean, that is the Golden Rule, right? How frustrating that no one can rise to the challenge and administer the whipping that he so deeply desires. No wonder he grows up to take on Dick Tracy, the most sadistic cop on the force.” –JBoy

“Outdoor survival tip of the day: If a member of your party is caught in an avalanche, you should spend the next several hours talking about that member. Do not attempt a rescue; the snow will keep his body from decomposing. Once it melts in the spring, recovery will be easier. In the meantime, pancakes all around.” –ZeroWolf

“When your war games are being conducted in what is clearly a virtual reality space, in which all surfaces and backgrounds have been replaced by a featureless beige void, isn’t being a cyber-warrior equipped with a laptop basically cheating? Cpl Yo is clearly looking forward to the part where he gets to hack the Kobayashi Maru exercise!” –seismic-2

“Dawn, you absolutely do not get to take a high road of being opposed to anything ‘corny’ when things like ‘We’re in love and can wait!‘ are coming out of your mouth.” –jroggs

“And I’m not a fan of corny piano singalongs! I’ll spend my evening streaming Edith Piaf and weeping!” –Uncle Lumpy

“Does the Bumsteads’ marriage still pack plenty of pizzazz? Absolutely, if you divide the word into ‘pizza’ and the slang phrase for sleep.” –BigTed

“I enjoy the malevolent grin on nude trickster god Gnotmi’s face. ‘Ha! Now that I have marred every piece of chocolate in the box, NO ONE will be able to enjoy them!’ he cackles to himself as he flees the scene. Alas, he didn’t count on Jeffy. Poor, stupid, malnourished Jeffy, who moments from now will be digging them out of the trash and stuffing them into his tiny black maw.” –The Mighty Untrained FOOZLE

“I, for one, refuse to believe that Dagwood could put anything or anyone against his lips for that long without devouring it in a frenzy of viscera and gore.” –Dread

Remember, if you want to buy ads on this site and get a shoutout in these metaposts, head on over to my BuySellAds page! If you never want to see banner ads on this site, and get cool comment-editing features to boot, for a mere three dollars a month you can become a Comics Curmudgeon Supporter! If you just want to give me money directly, you can put some scratch in my tip jar, or back me on Patreon! Thanks to all for your support and readership!

Post Content

Folks! With zero ado, here is this week’s top comment!

“Rex knows the obligations of his profession compel him to ask medical questions and receive answers from the aging husk of flesh before him, but goddamnit it doesn’t mean he’s obliged to LIKE it.” –The Silent Penultimate Panel

And here are this week’s very funny runners up!

“Sorry, but I don’t buy any of this. I can’t believe that the pirates would be so casual about a treasure map they’d just been studying. I can’t believe that Hagar would literally run home to tell his family he loves them. I can’t believe that his family would take him at face value, let alone be so enthusiastic about this. Most of all, I can’t believe Hagar’s vocabulary includes both ‘extraordinary’ and ‘incalculable.’” –Joe Blevins

“Look, buddy, walking around with that baby is already a perfectly good gimmick for picking up chicks. Adding an extra element to the scam is like putting a hat on a hat.” –BigTed

“On the one hand, the writer has given him the sort of unlikely pile-up of letters that a person who has never met a Polish person is likely to make up. On the other hand, ‘Tildy Bobrowski’ is the kind of super-charged zaniness Aunt Tildy is destined for, especially when she comes back to freeload again next year, after ol’ Andrzej here is dead.” –Handsome Harry Backstayge, Idol of a Million Other Women

“Ah, Rex Morgan: the strip with a narration box that tells you exactly what’s going to happen, and then shows you that thing, regardless of how pointless or dull it might be. Never change.” –pugfuggly

“Given the grotesque Gasoline Alley aesthetic, I guess looking being a regular schlub is like the real world equivalent of being Pierce Brosnan.” –toxic

“The question isn’t whether Rex will violate HIPAA to tell Aunt Tildy all about Andrezjsfn’s personal history in an attempt to hook them up and get her out of his hair — of course he’s going to do that — but whether he’ll wait until the end of the day or cancel all his afternoon appointments at the last minute.” –TheDiva

“‘REMIND HIM WHAT I SAID ABOUT NO FOSSILIZED RECORD OF YETI OR YETI LIKE CREATURE EXISTING!!!’ [Takes out sign-off sheet. Puts initials in ‘2:30am’ box]” –Foodar

“Wilbur said ‘firsthand’ and ‘hard on’ in relation to long distance relationships to tell Hugo to get used to a lot of masturbation, but Hugo doesn’t speak English well enough to pick up the subtleties and will probably just cheat on Dawn.” –nescio

“Into Thick Air, a story of madness and tragedy in the Himalayas, will be the book that makes Mark famous. I mean, more famous. So famous that people who aren’t poachers and bass kidnappers will recognize him.” –Voshkod

“Times have been tough for Sam, without any clients in his new office. He has resorted to attaching a severed arm on top of his desk with the palm up, so that visitors can just drop cash into it without having to endure the annoyance of actually talking to Sam.” –seismic-2

“His stump speech will just be waving his paperback book in the air and asking if ‘you know who I am?’” –Rusty

“Dawn’s latest heartbreak comes when she realizes that she isn’t video-chatting with Hugo but, rather, watching a poorly dubbed anime on YouTube.” –Her Father, John Darling

“Long-distance relationships are always hard, but it must be especially rough with Hugo imprisoned in the Phantom Zone.” –Dan

“Look deep into your heart. It is a sex joke. You know this. No, don’t resist. Let the truth wash over you like a wave.” –pastordan

“Fire hydrant? Otto is imagining a trashcan to dispose of the bloodied and bruised body of the faux-patriarchal tyrant known as ‘Sarge,’ colored red as a means of communicating with his fellow comrades. Step two: fashion hammer and sickle out of his retrieved bones.” –Irrischano

“Look, I don’t mean to downplay Otto’s obviously abusive relationship with the Sarge, but if he can stand on his hind legs and tie the necktie on his uniform, he can probably just use the latrine.” –Francisco Arrowroot

Remember, if you want to buy ads on this site and get a shoutout in these metaposts, head on over to my BuySellAds page! If you never want to see banner ads on this site, and get cool comment-editing features to boot, for a mere three dollars a month you can become a Comics Curmudgeon Supporter! If you just want to give me money directly, you can put some scratch in my tip jar, or back me on Patreon! Thanks to all for your support and readership!