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Comment of the week? You know it, baby!

“Beetle Bailey, in its way, is acknowledging the global pandemic. ‘Halftrack is a drunk, who hates his wife; and also his wife hates him, because he’s a drunk, as well as for other reasons’ is Beetle Bailey’s Saturday ‘joke’! On a Friday! In lockdown, we lose all sense of time; we drift rudderless in a sea of bitterness, anxiety, and fear, confined with our companions of happenstance, much like the denizens of Camp Swampy always have! There is no better comic for these times.” –a.

Runners up? You also know it, baby!

“Strange that Dagwood’s favorite foods do not include the sandwich named after him, the snack he named his daughter after, or the brownie-like dessert with his wife’s name. Eating grilled cheese sandwiches for Easter dinner, Dagwood will be full of loathing for himself and the women at the table. Good times!” –KMD

“Somehow, in this whole horrifying scenario, what offends me most is that chopped liver didn’t show up to defend itself.” –GTM

“Notice that the final speech bubble comes from a tree. None of the kids care about Kevin, but nature will embrace him, in this prosaic adaptation of Yeats’s ‘The Stolen Child’. Happy National Poetry Month!” –Spunky The Wonder Squid

“The good news is that the pandemic is going to bring both Neddy’s Netflix show and Sophie’s political campaigning to a standstill, effectively muting two terrible stories at once. The bad news is that Sam may not survive the night. Wait, that’s also good news. This is a win-win-win.” –Joe Blevins

“Hugo’s a smart man. He’s keeping a tight grip on Dawn so she doesn’t glance to the side and fall hopelessly in love with any of the other air travelers.” –jroggs

“Did Hugo put on a suit to meet Dawn at the airport? Is he worried that his high-school-level French might not impress her anymore?” –Rita Lake

“Here’s an idea: Maybe Dawn should move the fuck out of a town where the only sexually appealing man her age is dating her Dad’s ex?” –Rosstifer

“‘Ba ba ba?’ ‘That’s right, Angus. Who run Bartertown? Angus LLC run Bartertown!’” –Voshkod

“Crankshaft’s not full of shit? I don’t believe it.” –nescio

“It was only later, much later, after the initial crisis had been attended to, that some in the household began to ask themselves, ‘Just why does Dolly keep track of who uses the toilet and when?’ It was a question which ultimately sent many therapists’ children to the finest colleges.” –odinthor

“I run into that sometimes in my line of work. People think they’re living this epic adventure of resistance and principle and no. Snuffy just hasn’t made enough to have to file; while bartering with coonskins for grits is technically income under 26 USC § 61, it falls under the de minimis exception.” –ArtistFKAtoxic

“I’m not really up on current events anymore, which is why I’m meeting multiple elderly friends for coffee.” –Dan

“Fer feck’s sake Dawn, that’s not a snooty opinion it’s just a fact: the bouillabaisse is probably going to be better in the region that inspired, invented and perfected it! You don’t hear him complaining about the American grape soda you apparently ordered for the table.” –pugfuggly

“So to recap: Meeting + Slide Show + Guest Speaker = Saving America’s Farms, but Meeting – Slide Show – Guest Speaker = Hoedown? I’m sure this goes without saying, but the world of Gasoline Alley was never meant for logic puzzles.” –Mighty Sean Young

“What stage of cyberpunk is ‘willingly living in a panopticon for self-erotic purposes?’” –Ettorre

“I’ll get copies to all the flop houses. I can just tuck them into their regular copies of Flop House Weekly.” –Peanut Gallery

“No, Elviney, you will never top the Barlows, because they apparently have something that puts them at the top of this barter economy: hard currency. They have cleverly stockpiled everything, knowing that their infusion of cash is about to spark runaway inflation in the Hootin’ Holler. What will you trade then, Elviney, for a sack of flour or that fishin’ lure? Only then will you truly see the value of your husband’s chicken thievery.” –Lawyerbob

“I love Hugo’s expression of alarm: ‘I am ze fwenssh hunk. If I look at les guerres d’etoiles, I weel become ze nerd. Mon dieux, zees cannot happen!’” –richardf8

“Look at the little smile on Hugo’s face, as if he’s quietly enjoying that he just stopped his girlfriend from doing something she was excited about. Is he enacting a plan to make her dump him so she saves him the trouble of dumping her? Making someone miss Jared is such an impossibly difficult task that honestly hats off to him for even attempting it.” –Jenna

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It’s time for this week’s funniest comment!

“I don’t know why everyone is so surprised at this turn of events: if there’s one thing that gets everyone in Westview horny, it’s tragic deaths.” –pugfuggly

It’s also time for this week’s runners up!

“Why does the face in the tabletop picture frame have a black bar across the eyes? There is a level of kink in the Mitchell household that I’m not sure I can handle knowing about.” –Pat Ferruzza, on Facebook

“You know you’ve hired the correct guy to write your medical-themed comic strip when the most meticulously researched thing in his entire career is the collection of names of alt country and roots rock acts scribbled on a dressing room wall.” –TH Steady

“I am dying to know what libertarian decided to commission a statue of Atlas in his local public park to protest his tax dollars funding it.” –Gareth

“I see the ‘Gil Thorp Random Name Generator’ is operating at peak efficiency.” –Lawyerbob

“‘The forecast says it might snow tomorrow.’ ‘Doesn’t matter. Or at least not to me, since I won’t be there. I’ll check in around May 10, to see how things are going.’” –seismic-2

“Look at Grampa, there! With his suavely-manicured moustache, self-assured air, stylish dress and snarky put-downs. We don’t see much of Grampa, for some reason. That’s possibly because visiting his grandson involves walking past Wilson, previously Sgt Wilson, whom Grampa strongly suspects to this day tried to frag his cosseted Ivy League ass that day in Da Nang.” –Hergen

“The questionable art in today’s Six Chix aside, I’ve lived in Chicago for thirteen years now and I do entirely agree with the message being conveyed here. Most neighborhood pizza joints around here serve a thin crust cut into squares, and I’ve both ordered and been served this style probably 90+% of the time I’ve eaten pizza here. Deep dish is eaten here, but somewhat rarely. So Six Chix might have done a public service by moving the needle on that … toward deep dish, because the thought of tavern style pizza having a face and cartoon ‘sexy eyelashes,’ winking at me as I gaze in astonishment at a hot, fresh pie just recently delivered, is deeply unsettling and I would prefer the entirely ordinary-looking deep dish to that horrorshow of a pizza slice, thank you.” –BorgHunter

“Not only is Doc Pritchard a hill person, the cast of Snuffy Smith also includes characters named Granny and Grampy Pritchard, who must be related to him somehow but seem to be roughly the same age, maybe a little older. Have things gotten so depraved in Hootin’ Holler that a person’s parents might also be his grandparents?” –Joe Blevins

“Well! I guess they don’t shit in the woods!” –nescio

“Given how much Polly has grown between the first two panels (from slightly above regular parrot-size to Big Bird) I expect a Godzilla situation by the end of the week. I look forward to finding out how Gasoline Alley manages to make this boring.” –Horace Broon

“Okay, nobody was anticipating the levels of social distancing we would be at now back when this Funky Winkerbean comic was being so lovingly prepared. The fact that they went beyond creepy to horrifying with the face touch is just a sign of this strip’s unerring talent for grossing you out.” –Handsome Harry Backstayge, Idol of a Million Other Women

“This is what you get if Jeffrey Dahmer wrote a spec script for Pixar.” –ArtistFKAtoxic

“So, Buck, what’s your life insurance situation? What kind of estate would your spouse stand to inherit, anyway? Big inheritances are SO sexy. Do you know anything about brake maintenance? No? Great.” –Cloudbuster

“You know a comic strip has gone off the rails when your reaction to the punchline is ‘Wait, what does Hi Flagston think nuclear annihilation involves?’” –Schroduck

“This makes no sense. Everything I learned from cartoons tells me that the one wearing the beret is supposed to be the director.” –Peanut Gallery

“I know Hi means well, but millennials fear climate change AND nuclear war. Like buying a house or having a pension, a mind that can only hold one existential anxiety at a time is a luxury for boomers and Gen X.” –Ettorre

“Sophie’s verbose smear slogan rolls off the tongue like a mouthful of bee stingers. At least the message is clear: Mayor Sanderson is a phony! Or … a talented performer that deserves a prominent role in this film, maybe? Sophie’s loyalties change so frequently it could easily be either.” –jroggs

Remember, if you want to buy ads on this site and get a shoutout in these metaposts, head on over to my BuySellAds page! If you never want to see banner ads on this site, and get cool comment-editing features to boot, for a mere three dollars a month you can become a Comics Curmudgeon Supporter! If you just want to give me money directly, you can put some scratch in my tip jar, or back me on Patreon! Thanks to all for your support and readership!

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It’s Friday (please check your calendars to confirm this if not leaving the house has transformed your sense of time into an undifferentiated series of days) and that means it’s the day for the comment of the week!

“Asking to do one’s homework in one’s skivvies is the kind of baffling, perverse request I’d expect from one of the Keane kids but not from Curtis. It’s amazing how just a couple of weeks of self-isolation can turn any family into Family Circus. The cure may indeed be worse than the disease.” –Jenna

It’s also the day for the hilarious runners up!

“‘Which brings us to Ultima Thule*…’ [pronounced ‘Too-lay’] ‘Isn’t he the villain from the Thor* movie?’ [pronounced ‘Tor’] ‘I wonder if it’s too late to revisit the board’s early retirement package*?’ [pronounced ‘getting driven out into the country and released in a field somewhere’]” –Guy Lumbago

“Debonair? You’re looking for someone who’s debonair, lady? You’re living in the wrong century. The last of the debonair (and there weren’t many left) died of extremely old age in the early 2000s. They barely outlived the dashing, who were killed off by grunge in the ’90s.” –Joe Blevins

“Strange, I would have expected Hootin’ Holler to have at least one perfectly functional treadmill, but only because it is an old one that is actually used to power a local grain mill.” –Corynaut

“My favorite thing about Kevin is the way his hair keeps changing to match his emotions. In the first panel, he’s somewhat upset, and his hair is accordingly roiled. But by the third panel, Kevin is VERY upset, and his hair has formed into menacing spikes, ooh.” –Poteet

“I’ve been in some terrible conversations in my life, but never one so awful that I had to crack a window to ventilate the word balloons.” –jroggs

“I like to think Curtis is sitting there butt-naked from the waist down. ‘Mom, can’t I wear underwear?‘ ‘NO! The laundromat is four streets over and full of coughing homeless people. You’ll get clean underwear in the After Times.’” –Momster

“So Elmo has a trainee now? Hope he’s filed all the proper tax forms.” –Pozzo

“I think Alan is still having trouble getting into his ‘working-class hero’ persona. ‘I know, we’ll hold my fundraiser in a big barn! That’s where the lower classes live, right? In big communal barns?’” –pugfuggly

“The great thing about this Mary Worth story is no matter what choice Dawn makes, she’s going to regret it! Will she choose wet blanket Jared, who has all the sexual appeal of an actual wet blanket, or will she choose a relationship with someone thousands of miles away who’s definitely fucking other people? She can’t win and she’ll be miserable either way! Like father, like daughter I guess.” –Rosstifer

“Something tells me Mary could squeeze a slut-shamed face out of the pope. The woman is an artist, humanity’s her canvas.” –Handsome Harry Backstayge, Idol of a Million Other Women

“A very meaningful strip. Colonized people wish they could completely cancel the colonizers and return to an imagined purity pre-invasion. However, history is messier. The histories of colonizers and colonized are forever entangled, as evidenced by the fact that Grossie had a child with Maggot. French Algeria is no more, but there will be something French in Algeria and something Algerian in France forever. Also, men are slobs and wives nag.” –Ettorre

“Convenience, Mary? You don’t know the half of it. He works in a hospital. He can get me all the hand sanitizer I could ever use!” –Peanut Gallery

“Jared feels like home. Probably because he doesn’t comb his hair and wears a ratty hoodie, like you do when you’re home all day rather than out on a date with another person. Also I have to clean him a lot.” –Francisco Arrowroot

“What do you think happens when we die? I mean, I know what happens when we die inside, when our dream of doing cartoons for the New Yorker is crushed and we end up the sixth chick, such an insulting name, on a fifth-rate daily strip. But when we really die? Because brother, I cannot wait!” –Voshkod

“I’m just saying, ‘I hope you know you can trust me‘ is exactly the sort of thing you would say to a pure soul you plan to sacrifice to appease your cruel forest god.” –TheDiva

Remember, if you want to buy ads on this site and get a shoutout in these metaposts, head on over to my BuySellAds page! If you never want to see banner ads on this site, and get cool comment-editing features to boot, for a mere three dollars a month you can become a Comics Curmudgeon Supporter! If you just want to give me money directly, you can put some scratch in my tip jar, or back me on Patreon! Thanks to all for your support and readership!