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Okay, so maybe Sunday’s post was a little, er, gentle. Sorry! It’s hard to maintain Joshworthy levels of invective when you haven’t got, y’know, his digestive challenges. But I’ll make it up to you – here’s a quadruple helping of the most revolting muck ever to poison three seconds of your morning coffee break.

It’s Monday! Go nuts!

Zippy the Pinhead 1/29/07

This dripping, self-indulgent bolus of hipper-than-thou omphaloskepsis no longer stains even the benighted San Francisco Chronicle. Voted off in a reader poll. Deluded fans howled: such sweet, sweet music!

Quigmans 1/9/07

Hahahahaha! People are fat, stupid, ugly, and miserable! Hahaha! Vomit! Booger! Fartfartfart! Hahahahaha!

Grin and Bear It 1/29/07

They’ll Do It Every Time, lacking only the wit, draftsmanship, and goodwill.

The Brilliant Mind of Edison Lee, 1/24/07

A California bill to outlaw spanking of children was defeated when opponents circulated copies of The Brilliant Mind of Edison Lee. Legislators have introduced a bill to require such spanking.

Okay, Chennux? Okay? Jeez – my tap shoes wore out, it hurts to sit, and I have no idea how to peel these things off my chest. What’d you stick them on with, grannix phlegm? It’s not funny, man — not funny!