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Sally Forth, 1/5/06

OK, we all know Ces already has this one plotted out months in advance, but still, let’s try to think up a new job for Ted that will both leave him more personally fulfilled and open up new narrative possibilities for the strip!

• A renegade cop who plays by his own rules
• NASCAR pit crew member
• Pastry chef
• Mob accountant
• Gay porn star Gas station attendant
• Drifter/hobo
• Lion tamer

C’mon, everybody, join the fun!

Whatever it is our little Ted decides to do when he grows up, he’ll need a new shirt to do it in. Right now, he looks like he’s wearing a Yankees uniform with a tie. At least he’s not the worst dressed member of the Forth household: Sally’s outfit is exactly like Cathy’s Irving’s get-up, only in a much uglier color.

Update: Ces offers sample Ted dialogue for these jobs over at Drink At Work.

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Sally Forth, 11/16/05

This, combined with this, is leading me to some disturbing conclusions. Hilary may not be everybody’s favorite Forth, but if not for her presence, Sally Forth would consist of nothing but nonstop, hardcore Forth-on-Forth action. And nobody wants that.

Except for Ted.

And probably Sally.

Being sensible folks, the Forths apparently keep an old-timey whale-oil lamp on hand for when their new refrigerator brings down the entire power grid in Forthville (yeah, “tree,” whatever). At first glance I thought it might be a bong, but I know that’s too much to ask. Darn kids ruin everything.

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Sally Forth, 9/26/05

Hah! I’ve only been married two weeks and I’m already relating to married people in the comics! No, I’m not talking about today’s Cathy, where Cathy’s mother-in-law is brought to a state of eye-popping rage when faced with the prospect of sleeping on a futon; I’m talking about today’s Sally Forth, where Ted gets fat. Because now that I’ve landed me a fine woman, I’m totally letting myself go. Also, I’m going to stop doing work. Since I work at home anyway, I figure I’ll have a good eighteen months of sittin’ on the couch all day watchin’ my stories before she notices that we’re bankrupt.

Anyway, this strip illustrates the problem of a strip having a separate writer and artist. Ces possibly sent the artist a note to the effect of “MAKE TED EXTRA CHUNKY TODAY” or something, but in the end he just has the same oddly linebacker-shouldered look that he and everyone else in the strip, including Sally, always has. The only evidence that we have that this isn’t Mr. Forth’s first double-dip into the pie are his pants in panel one, which are clinging disturbingly tightly to the area around Little Ted, and even that’s not because his hip region is particularly big, but because his trousers are much, much too small. In fact, if you really want to either make yourself laugh or give yourself the heebie-jeebies (depending on your personality and/or inclinations), imagine that Ted’s pants end just below the bottom of the frame. Because the only thing sexier than little short shorts are little short shorts with a belt.