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B.C., 9/13/06

I can no longer get worked up about the fact that B.C. makes jokes about semi-obscure aspects of golf culture as if everyone’s going to get it, or the fact that said jokes aren’t funny even for those who know what the strip’s referring to. However, I do have to object to this strip being based around not just a lame-ass joke, but the totally incorrect genre of lame-ass joke. The fact that whatshisname and, uh, the other one are standing around the “Show Me” rock means that this ought to be an example of the strip’s patented non-hilarious “Show Me” joke, where the cavedude on the left starts a sentence with “Show me” and the cavedude on the right comes up with a pithy and supposedly witty response. (Actual non-hilarious example from 1990 that I found online: “Show me a girl who curls up with a good novel every night…” “…and I’ll show you a broad who lives in a bookmobile.”) This strip may provide evidence for one of my darker suspicions: that Johnny Hart has dozens of predrawn “Show Me” strips (and, presumably, “You Know” strips and “Wiley’s Dictionary” strips) just waiting for the dialogue to be filled in, and today he was so worked up about rude golf spectators that he just sort of forgot that he was supposed to do a “Show Me” joke.

The saddest part is that this bit could actually have been done as a legitimate “Show Me” strip: “Show me a golf tournament where they shout ‘You the man!’…” “…and I’ll show you a golf tournament that sells tickets to morons, too.” It does some violence to the joke and isn’t very funny, but hey, this is B.C.

Mark Trail, 9/13/06

Boy, when this Mark Trail storyline got started, it seemed like it was going to be about poaching. Three months ago, who could have predicted that it would climax with an angry mob led by a sinister chicken-kicking beekeeper attempting to kill a lovable, confused tame bear who almost killed her owner by french-kissing him while he was driving? How do they come up with these twists and turns for the plot? I bet it helps to be totally insane.

For Better Or For Worse, 9/13/06

Yesterday we learned that when Anthony thinks sexy thoughts about Liz, Liz looks sexy. Today we learn that when Liz thinks sexy thoughts about Anthony, Liz looks sexy. Presumably this imbalance exists because it’s not possible for Anthony to look sexy.

Pluggers, 9/13/06

You’re a plugger when your prescriptions cost more than your groceries, but every time anyone tries to discuss some kind of socialized medicine program, you start ranting about “God damn liberal commie Hillary-care.”

Apartment 3-G, 9/13/06

And that was the day that Tommie decided for sure that she liked girls better.

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I reproduce the following e-mail and attached photos from faithful reader Jonathan Ahl, because they are hilarious enough that I feel no need to add to them.

Mr. Curmudgeon:

Thought you might like to know four of your fans decided to use Finger Quotin’ Margo as the inspiration and a team name during a competitive Scrabble tournament.

We attended a National Scrabble Association tournament in Indianapolis this past weekend, and decided to enter the team portion of the competition fueled by our love for making fun of Apartment 3-G and other funnies.

Attached are two pictures. From left to right in each photo, Dave Dahl of Peoria, IL; Jonathan Ahl of Dunlap, IL; and Wendy and Matthew Ridout of Lexington, KY.

I am proud to report the “Finger Quotin’ Margos” won the team competition, and all four of its members placed very well in the individual contests. The prize money for the team competition was almost enough to cover the cost of the shirts.

As for why we did so well, some say it was the “Motivation” of the team members while others credited the “Dedication” of the players. I think it was the “Pillow Case Full of Doorknobs” I as team captain kept in my trunk, just in case any of the team members “lost focus” on the goal of winning. I figured that would work better than an “intervention.”

If you want to blow the minds of squares at the Scrabble tourneys in your neck of the woods, then you’re going to need to buy some of these.

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Mary Worth, 9/12/06

Oh, Mary, Mary, Mary — it looks like you’ve figured out that the only way to drag this storyline out further is to, um, drag it out further. It becomes obvious that she’s going off-script when she fails to join into the barbershop quartet number that the Charterstone Mafia had planned for the triumphal climax of the intervention.

For Better Or For Worse, 9/12/06

You know, if Liz has to worry about her bosses at the public school board being mad at her because she needs to take time off to obey a subpoena and testify in court against the guy who tried to rape her, then Canada may not be the workers’ paradise that I had imagined it to be.

You know what I hate more than the idea that Liz and Anthony are going to fall into each others’ arms over the course of this rape trial? The fact that we’re treated to “Anthony-Cam” in panel four, seeing just how sexily tarted up Lizardbreath looks to her wimpy paramour. Ick.