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Apartment 3-G, 12/18/04

Who says Apartment 3-G is slow-moving and boring? Well, most people do, actually, but today’s strip is out to prove them wrong! Note the Sam Raimi-style camera swoop around Eldon and his nemesis over the course of these three panels as Mr. Eldon is subjected to FBI Pete’s brutal, post-Alberto Gonzales interrogation. At least I think that’s what’s happening. Maybe the last panel just got flipped over during the compositing process. But I like to give ’em the benefit of the doubt. Though doing so means that we have to accept that this interrogation room has identical doors on opposite walls.

In yesterday’s strip, Eldon attempted to get Pete’s goat by implying that Margo was a high-priced whore. As if Pete would believe that! Oh, wait.

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Beetle Bailey, 11/17/04

Hmm … let’s see … Beetle Bailey … hasn’t been funny for years … need new character … Japanese guy both offensive and not funny … computer geek guy also not funny, possibly offensive … I know! Tiny gnome who lives in the forest and casts magic spells!

I can’t see anything going wrong with that. Pure comedy gold!

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Speed Bump, 12/16/04

One of my New Year’s resolutions for the coming year is to be less negative, and in that spirit, I had decided to not make my first comment about any of the new comics in the Sun until I had something nice to say. So, here’s today’s Speed Bump. It made me laugh.

I mean, not a lot, mind you, but, you know, more than I did at the last three, which were so spectacularly unfunny that I didn’t even understand why they were supposed to be funny.

Oh, wait, I’m doing it again! Hah. Sorry ’bout that.

Anyway, this panel: funny. Vaguely. Play on words. You know, the word “flight” used to primarily be used as a noun derived from the word “flee,” and it generally meant “an escape.” But now we usually use it as a noun derived from the word “fly.” Still, the old meaning is embedded in certain set phrases, like “fight or flight.” Thus the joke.

I like the sad expression on the trying-to-fly guy’s face, too. And the fact that the mugger is rolling his eyes in disgust.

Or at least I think he is. The drawing of the mugger’s face isn’t very good. What’s that little line thing on his chin? A beard?

Gah! No, I mean, the art is fine. Really! I certainly couldn’t do better. I can’t draw a lick! Ha ha! Panel: funny!

Anyway.

No doubt you’ve noticed that my blog has gone back to its original color scheme. This is not because I’ve gotten over the Sun’s execrable comic-elimination decisions (I haven’t); it’s just that I was getting a headache from reading white type on a black background all the time.

Making me even less over it is something that my fianceé pointed out to me this morning: part of the real estate on the newly consolidated comics page (which has been cheerily rechristened Fun & Games) is taken up by a syndicated contract bridge column. Yeah, you heard me right. A bridge column. It’s not even the one written by Omar Sharif, which is kind of cool in principle because, you know, it’s a bridge column written by Omar goddamn Sharif. But this other, non-Omar-Sharif-penned bridge column — who the hell reads that? Nobody. And the people who do are weirdos.

As opposed to the perfectly normal people who read all the comics every day, even crap like Speed Bump.

Wait, did I say crap? I meant…

Dammit.