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The whiner has become the whined about

Spider-Man, 9/2/11

Since we last met our heroic caped webbed crusader, beloved super-spouse MJ has decided to get in on the petulant whining that appears to be her husband’s main joy in life, taking as her theme the Bugle reporter whose refusal to condemn Spider-Man has led to a rather transparent spider-crush on Peter’s part. However, it appears that Serra (is this how the kids are spelling “Sarah” these days? ugh, I hate the future) has traded in her mild affection towards the superhero for journalistic glory; in panel two, we see that J. Jonah Jameson has given her bylines and photo credits at almost the same font size as the banner headline, and all she had to do was fall in line with the publication’s strident anti-Spider-Man stance.

Panel one is notable in that the artist actually takes seriously the notion that MJ is toddling around the apartment wearing spiked heels and skin-tight capri pants, and took the time contemplate how a person so dressed might bend down to pick something up off the floor. (The answer: very carefully.)

Crankshaft, 9/2/11

So, is … is that other lady all right? The one who got hit in the head, with the ball? Enh, never mind her, let’s all just bask smugly in some important lessons about sportsmanship.

Six Chix, 9/2/11

Ho ho, it appears that this woman’s mafioso lover has murdered each of her six husbands in turn! How delightfully droll! We can all relate to this hilHOLY CRAP THAT HAND ON HER SHOULDER ISN’T ATTACHED TO ANYTHING AHHH AHHH AHHH

237 responses to “The whiner has become the whined about”

  1. Rocky Stoneaxe
    September 2nd, 2011 at 8:25 am [Reply]

    Zits Zoinks — “…and I would have gotten away with it, too, if it hadn’t been for you my meddling kids mother!”

  2. Dennis the Two and a Half Menace
    September 2nd, 2011 at 8:26 am [Reply]

    Six Chix- Hamburger funeral!

  3. Kristian
    September 2nd, 2011 at 8:28 am [Reply]

    The Family Circus: A navel? The most obvious sign of the Fall of Man. Blatantly on display in The Family Circus? Mr Keane, I suggest you change the name of your so-called “funny” to “The Circus of Shamelessness not suitable for Family Viewing”.

  4. Dennis the Two and a Half Menace
    September 2nd, 2011 at 8:30 am [Reply]

    The Bugle has gone to larger fonts in order to serve their only audience; the elderly who can’t use these new fangled computers to find slanted coverage of pajamed television viewers.

  5. Kristian
    September 2nd, 2011 at 8:33 am [Reply]

    BGSS: How does the Hootin’ Holler economy work, exactly? Does everyone steal what they need from everyone else? I guess that might .. no wait …

    Beetle Bailey: “I’m a little behind.” And Sarge is a big one, right?

    Blondie: The “profit-making secrets” were stored in the “phone network”? Not sure “technology” “works” that way, “Dagwood.”

    Crankshaft: Aaaawwwwdiabetes.

  6. Liam
    September 2nd, 2011 at 8:44 am [Reply]

    FC-Jeffy is either worried about his boy boobs or he is having a gender identity crisis disorder.

    Sally Forth-”New Delih Monkey Gang” sounds like the good name for a crime organization.

  7. Notebooked
    September 2nd, 2011 at 8:44 am [Reply]

    In panel two of today’s Spider-Man, it seems Peter has inflated his toast wrong. It’s only swelling up on one side.

  8. Flummoxicated
    September 2nd, 2011 at 8:45 am [Reply]

    MW: Yes, how did Ghastly McDyingmom know that you are still in love with your junior high crush? Could it be because you still talk about him constantly, you’re still petulant and whiny about having to move TO SAVE YOUR DAD’S LIFE, or is it your idiotic refusal to change your dorky little kid ponytail hairstyle?

    This tragic tale of cruel fate will end with freakin’ Mary Worth telling this potatohead 20-something how to look some one up on the Internet. Brilliant storytelling there. Someone needs to put these legacy strips out of our misery.

  9. Browns fan
    September 2nd, 2011 at 8:45 am [Reply]

    Fashion sense lacking in Crankshaft: I didn’t realize Guayabera shirts were in style among black men in the 80′s.

  10. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    September 2nd, 2011 at 8:47 am [Reply]

    Baldo: not much of an improvement over the current Spidey.

    A&J: *happy dance*

    CdS: Baka Gaijin, the early years.

    Doons: mmmmm, lathered haunches.

    LaCuc: *Ruth Buzzie purse-shot*

    Lio: seems legit.

    NAoQV: har!

    SB: I could use one of those.

    rMC: cutest Bridget panel EVAR!!!!!

    Bizarro: win. with beer.

    PMP: true dat!

    SFx: stoner squirrel.

  11. Scott Bot
    September 2nd, 2011 at 8:52 am [Reply]

    FW – It’s been said before, but bears repeating – How is that even possible?

    JP – ‘No, I haven’t told her; I don’t think the statute of limitations is up on that one yet.’

    MT – Yesterday the dialog read like a primer for third graders, today it’s reading like an extremely mild detective novel. Would it be too much to ask if we could make up our minds?

    MW – ‘Use the force, Gina.’

    Pluggers – I’m glad the Naughty Number Nine cat has traded the seedy environment of the pool hall for the relatively wholesomeness of the bowling alley.

    RMMD – This is boring, let’s go back to the surly teenager. She’s shown more personality in three weeks than anyone else in this strip has shown in a year.

  12. pugfuggly
    September 2nd, 2011 at 8:53 am [Reply]

    A-SM It seems a bit odd to have to emphasize ‘JEWELRY‘ in bold in the headline, but I suppose it’s because the Bugle has been crying tabloid wolf on Spiderman for so many years that they have to go the extra mile to convince readers that there’s something real in there.

    No, really, Bugle readers, it’s not the usual bullshit story about how Spidey fathered a bat-boy in Mexico while performing Satanic rituals with the clone of Elvis Presley, this time he stole JEWELS!

    MT: THis is the third time in the last week or so that we’ve gotten a close-up of Kelly’s soulless eyes. Is Elrod trying to hypnotize us…?

    MW: “…let’s just hope it hasn’t changed for him at all either, otherwise, finding him would just be a pointlessly painful exercise in opening up old wounds. Well, have fun!”

    Pluggers are horrible cheaters but luckily are to stupid to scam machines.

  13. pugfuggly
    September 2nd, 2011 at 8:54 am [Reply]

    @Scott Bot (#11):

    MW – ‘Use the force, Gina.’

    Actually, I believe that’s a ‘PHOOOONE HOOOOOOOME!’

  14. Jocelyn Knockersbury
    September 2nd, 2011 at 8:55 am [Reply]

    FW: The only explanation is that the chip on Les’ shoulder is real. Invisible, yet real nonetheless.

  15. Mibbitmaker
    September 2nd, 2011 at 8:55 am [Reply]

    A3G: Need LuAnn? Now that’s funny!

    BBailey, panel 1: That’s how Sarge describes it! (*rimshot!*)

    FW: Two-part reaction:
    1) AwRIIIIGHT! Excellent! Woo-hoo!
    2) This is Les’s own tragedy, his missing arm, his cancer. A writer who can nevermore see! Now he’ll be nailed to his own furshlugginer cross, and the Specialest Snowflake will be an even bigger, insufferable martyr. Dammit!

    MW: That’s what we waited a full day for?! Oh, my God!

    Sherm’s Lag.: “Martha” “My Dear”? Didn’t also work in “White” and “Album”, however.

    FC: Pre-booby envy?

    DtM: Doctor in background: “We all know the reason, don’t we, folks?”

  16. Kristian
    September 2nd, 2011 at 8:58 am [Reply]

    Funky Winkerbean: Beautiful! So, black eye? Blindness? Concussion? Broken jaw?

    Dick Tracy: Is Tracy slowly oozing back to his old, non-human, angular form?

    Garfield: All I vant is a drahp of blaaahd …

    Hägar the Horrible: That’s not bad, as observational humour goes. By why the heck is it set in flipping Viking Times?

  17. Dennis Jimenez
    September 2nd, 2011 at 8:59 am [Reply]

    Ample evidence today of why nobody calls them, “the funny pages” anymore….

  18. Joe, the Upper-Evergreen Guy
    September 2nd, 2011 at 9:01 am [Reply]

    Beetle: Maybe a big fat sack of lard would work better!

    Crank: Just wait 20 years……you won’t like the mopey, gloomy-doomy mess Cayla hooks herself with!!

    FC: ………….No Comment.

    Gloomy Deathybean: Well, Les *did* call it………broken glasses…..this one’s for you, Les:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N9qYF9DZPdw

    MT: Is that dirt on his lip?

    RMMD: The evil look in Rex’s eye suggests he will do something sinister….rawr.

    SIxChix: Don’t worry. That’s just “Thing”, from the Addams Family!

  19. Chip Whittle
    September 2nd, 2011 at 9:02 am [Reply]

    6 Chix: Mrs. Love Is Speaks!

    Apartment 3-G: “If you’re sure you don’t need me…” What does someone need Lu Ann for, except as a counter-example?

    Arctic Circle: See, it’s funny because the penguin is dating an elephant when he thinks he’s dating a human and…uh… wait, the elephant’s in the Arctic Circle because?

    Bottom Liners: “I said Twitter! Now I’m in the cool club!”

    Crankshaft: “I liked what I saw much better. You showed you either don’t know the rules and customs of your chosen sport, or that you’re oblivious to the people rendering actual aid to the injured player, or that you’ll grandstand and give the appearance of caring without actually doing anything rather than respect the needs of your team. Someday, you’re going to make an intolerably smug, self-important dink that much more pompous.”

    Deflocked: Can’t think of some outrageously hilariously inappropriate behavior? Make your readers try to imagine one instead! I”m sure anyone could imagine the wacky fun a kid has with a sink.

    Family Circus: If we’re finding out Jeffy is a girl trapped in a doughy boy’s body it’ll make me kind of curious what comes next.

  20. Chareth Cutestory
    September 2nd, 2011 at 9:02 am [Reply]

    Spider-Man: Demanding two bylines, Serra Carson comes out of the gate with both media whore guns blazing! If Fox News or Nancy Grace exist in the Spidey-verse, are they aware that there is a sleeping giant about to awake?

  21. Kristian
    September 2nd, 2011 at 9:04 am [Reply]

    Mary Worth: “You talk in your sleep.” I guess it could be worse. She should have said: “I’ve seen the tattoo on your inner thigh.”

    The Phantom: Come for the crimefighting, stay for the hunk of beefcake.

    Plugger: Nuh-uh. There had better not be a Pluggerville. Anywhere.

    Ziggy: Haha, The Sears Roebuck Catalog shopping channel ebAy, amirite!

  22. Flying Manatee
    September 2nd, 2011 at 9:04 am [Reply]

    FC: “Jeffy, you can wear a bikini top like Dolly’s once you have man boobs like your dad.”

  23. geekwhisperer
    September 2nd, 2011 at 9:09 am [Reply]

    MW- For the love of God Mary, UNLEASH THE MEDDLE! This has gone far enough! Now her dead mother is in complicit in the Bobcession? At this point Mary should stand up, Emperor Palpatine-style, and Meddle Force should start shooting out of her hands directly into Gina’s chest.

    That or just pull out a phone and type his name and high school into facebook. Your call, Mary.

    MT- At least we now know what community Sgt. McQueen is popular in: The community of random people who come into his office interrupting the parade preparations (he’s in his parade uniform, after all) and ask him all kinds of dumb-ass questions.

  24. Ellie
    September 2nd, 2011 at 9:11 am [Reply]

    MW is getting positively TERRIFYING!!!

  25. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    September 2nd, 2011 at 9:12 am [Reply]

    FW – If it requires violation of all known laws of physics in order to injure Les, then I am all for it! My morning bowl of cereal is currently floating toward the ceiling, but I don’t care, because Les is in pain.

    MW- Our family will need to move next year for job related purposes. The 14YO boy is convinced that this will be the end of the world, because he will have to leave his first, hence only ever, true love behind. Mother and I are just keeping quiet, knowing that by next May the odds are that they will have broken up already. Even if they haven’t, we know that he will get over it by the end of the summer, or sooner if he meets someone else.

    He is a skater kid, so the biggest concern is him finding another female willing to put up with the smells, the scabs, the greasy hair and the shapeless hats. But at least he doesn’t have a ponytail. Maybe that is Gina’s problem – no matter how many times we are informed of her attribute of “attractive”, it will be hard to find someone willing to look past the hairstyle.

  26. ratnerstar
    September 2nd, 2011 at 9:14 am [Reply]

    Noted mobster Joey One-Arm and his accomplice, “Thing,” terrorized northern New Jersey funerals for decades. Eventually he was tried and convicted after an eye-witness to one of his crimes picked him out of a line up. It actually wasn’t too hard to recognize him; while not the only mafioso missing an arm, he was the only one with a mouth that looked like an anus.

    Cosa Nostra didn’t put a lot of effort into his defense, either, being relatively confident that he couldn’t effectively “finger” anyone.

  27. Rocky Stoneaxe
    September 2nd, 2011 at 9:20 am [Reply]

    Dear Mary Jane (may I call you that?),

    As long as you’re toddling around the apartment in spiked heels and skin-tight capri pants, it’s the perfect time for you to relieve the monotony of your life with the old-ball-and-chain by singing to yourself and what’s-his-face. Doris Day’s “Que Sera, Sera (Whatever Will Be, Will Be)” is a particular favorite of mine.

    Signed,

    A. Friend

  28. Chip Whittle
    September 2nd, 2011 at 9:20 am [Reply]

    Funky Winkerbean: Yes, we’re all enjoying Les getting battered in the second panel there, but I’d like to draw your attention to the first panel. Take in the expression on Les’s face. There, now, aren’t you set not just to like even more Les getting smacked in the eye, but also waiting for the bat to smash his own head in?

    Hi and Lois: Walker-Browne LLC totally got one of the interns to redraw Lois and what’s-her-name’s heads between the two panels. They’re like night and day. The skill of the art makes you not even notice that what’s-her-name has a slice of cake before Lois has finished bringing the cake over to the table.

    Mary Worth: “How did you know?” “You talk in your sleep, dear! And, uh, I’ve apparently been sneaking into your bedroom to listen to you in your sleep.”

    Popeye: It’s about time for the four-foot-tall cry of “HELP!” this story. So how many weeks do you want to figure Olive Oyl is going to spend forbidding Popeye to do the obvious thing to clean up the Spong problem and keep it from killing Popeye?

    Slylock Fox: How To Draw a friendly squirrel kind of overshot the mark and hit “friendly stoner squirrel” instead.

    Zits: It’s cliche, yes, but I can’t say it’s wrong.

  29. MattF
    September 2nd, 2011 at 9:23 am [Reply]

    Um, also, the widow’s eyeball isn’t attached to her head. Good thing it’s only a blob of ink.

  30. Pozzo
    September 2nd, 2011 at 9:24 am [Reply]

    S-M: She used to be called “Sierra,” but then she lost an I. (I’m monocular; I’m allowed to make jokes like that.)

  31. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    September 2nd, 2011 at 9:25 am [Reply]

    JP: Obviously, Abbey is already deep into memories of Gary Roberts. Keep both hands on the wheel there where we can see them, Abbey!

    FC: Dolly is nonplussed because she just realized that Jeffy has pudgier child-boobs than she does.

    A3G: With Paul Linski lurking back there in creepy anticipation, I understand why Luann wants to stick around and help: “Are you sure you don’t need to me to do anything? Anything? Here—I’ll wash these paper plates! And these crumpled paper napkins need smoothing!”

    MT: Oh, Kelly, your sexy sexy head tilt is wasted on Sgt. Drag McQueen. He and Princess are impervious to feminine wiles. Now, you’ll need to excuse him; all this community popularity has gotten him a bit mussed, and he needs to re-balance the sides of his moustache.

    MW: “You talk in your sleep, dear. And when you’re awake. Day and night, it never stops—that incessant whining about friggin’ Bobby Black. I’m longing for the sweet release of death after listening to you for 14 years; the torments of hell can’t equal the monologue of melodrama I’ve endured. For the love of god, just get on the goddamned internet and track down the son of a bitch already.”

  32. Professor Fate
    September 2nd, 2011 at 9:30 am [Reply]

    MW: “and then after you finish college and find that kid you were always mooning about come back here and bury me”

    9CL: Again, another storyline has me missing the germans.

    Crankshaft: 1) She was already out becuase she left the basepaths 2) any ump on the planet would have called time out 3) she is shown she is ready to be the lifetime doormat for a self absorbed smirking creep who will continue to talk about his dead wife.

  33. David
    September 2nd, 2011 at 9:30 am [Reply]

    Retail:
    Worker: “I need to return this.”
    Customer: “Hey, shouldn’t I be saying that?!”

  34. Dood
    September 2nd, 2011 at 9:31 am [Reply]

    Gil Thorp: Talk to the hand, Gil. Wildcat Maris’ hand.

  35. Little Teapot
    September 2nd, 2011 at 9:31 am [Reply]

    @Scott Bot (#11): “How is that even possible?”

    Maybe, just maybe, Les barely made contact with the bottom of the ball and deflected it upward? Makes more sense than believing Mopey Snowflake hit the ball squarely, right?

    Oh God oh God I just spent five minutes staring at Gloomy Disasterbean to come up with that theory oh God oh God.

    Also, ffs, Les, PUT YOUR STUPID FOOT DOWN. Thank you.

  36. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    September 2nd, 2011 at 9:32 am [Reply]

    I prefer the Didactic Duo’s methods over this.

    how to dress for a Dirty Job. (sfw, unless uncontrollable laughter would be a cause of concern.)

    meanwhile, in Denver.

    This will not end well.

    intense otter stares at you. (boop!)

    boatin’ corgi.

  37. Anonymous
    September 2nd, 2011 at 9:32 am [Reply]

    MT: Yes, well, my name is Kelly Welly. I’m a co-worker of Mark’s. Actually, I kinda see myself in competition with him. But, basically, I stalk him on his assingments which I poach from our editor’s office. Then I get into all types of hilarious hijinks where I put myself and Mark and everyone around us into life-threatening situations. Hee hee. So, where did you say the Mark went again?

  38. Sequitur
    September 2nd, 2011 at 9:35 am [Reply]

    Josh said…

    …ugh, I hate the future

    Spoken like a true Curmudgeon!

  39. Some Guy
    September 2nd, 2011 at 9:35 am [Reply]

    Blondie: The writer has heard of the phone hacking scandal, but has no idea what it was or how it worked.

    FW: I was going to complain that that gentle lob should clearly have landed about a foot in front of him. Then I thought “Do I want to be the guy saying Les shouldn’t have been hit in the face with a baseball?”

    Hagar: It’s funny because obesity is a serious problem in dogs!

    JP: “I think Sophie would love to do what I want to do. Oh, and it turns out I was right about something, but you were the one who actually had to deal with it. Man, it’s great being me.”

    MW: Gina told Mary there was … something else. This is not something else!

  40. bunivasal
    September 2nd, 2011 at 9:36 am [Reply]

    Crankshaft: Wait, he liked what he saw much better? Rather than seeing his daughter hit the winning home run, he preferred seeing her traumatized because she lodged a baseball in the dead center of the opposing pitcher’s brain? No wonder this dude is friends with Crankshaft.

  41. Ned Ryerson
    September 2nd, 2011 at 9:38 am [Reply]

    Pluggers are shitty at math. Hence the popularity of casinos and the lottery.

  42. Maggie the Cat
    September 2nd, 2011 at 9:39 am [Reply]

    Best FW ever. Hahaha….

  43. diagnull
    September 2nd, 2011 at 9:39 am [Reply]

    Question for the group: I’ve been using the Houston Chron “build your own” comics page, but they have ended that feature.

    Anyone know any other sites that let you build yoru own page of comics like that?

    Thanks!

    -c

  44. Bud
    September 2nd, 2011 at 9:40 am [Reply]

    Les shows that white men can’t bat.

  45. Greg
    September 2nd, 2011 at 9:41 am [Reply]

    Spidey: It seems that MJ is so excited by today’s “newspaper” (is that what they call that thing?) that she already had it laminated. Now she can use it to bash Peter Parker over the head with because… just because.

  46. Dood
    September 2nd, 2011 at 9:42 am [Reply]

    Blondie: Profits at J.C. Dithers Construction Co.? Unheard of!

  47. Dennis Jimenez
    September 2nd, 2011 at 9:53 am [Reply]

    @Dood (#46): What profits a Dagwood to gain the J.C. Dithers Construction Co., but lose his soul….

  48. BrutusJ
    September 2nd, 2011 at 9:56 am [Reply]

    Oh, Crankshaft? What are you doing here? What’s that? It’s your strip? Oh. Have you just been lurking outside this softball game of death and smug suffering waiting to deliver a terrible pun tomorrow?

  49. Ned Ryerson
    September 2nd, 2011 at 9:58 am [Reply]

    FW: I’ve seen foul balls get sprayed in all kinds of directions. I can’t comment on the likelihood of one going directly into the batter’s face and can’t remember ever seeing it in reality. However, given that this is Les Smirky McAsshat Moore, let me just say YAY! Also, hopefully Mopey McDeadwife has some kind of cut rate crap glasses that aren’t shatter resistant and he has particles of glass deeply embedded in his eyeball. Also, as Porchswing McDouchebag falls to the ground, he manages to maintain his grip on the bat so that the barrel end plants itself in the ground and his solar plexus crashes into the knob end with his full special snowflake weight pushing down so that crippling waves of shock and pain radiate through he body even before it lands in a heap. Then with the searing pain of Fuckwad McAuteur’s detatched retina and shattered cheekbone kicks in, he inhales dozens of exotic ants (heretofore unknown in these environs) from the anthill that he conveniently lands in, which bite him in the trachea, causing an intense anaphylactic reaction, including convulsions, projectile vomiting and loosening of the bowels.

  50. Jeroen Krabbe
    September 2nd, 2011 at 9:58 am [Reply]

    Apt 3G – Oh and don’t worry Luann we are going to take good care of you ,and you will marry Paul and we will not take no for an answer. Creepy sinister music plays in the background with the mother and granny smirking evilly

    Luann- Another plug for Luann the musical and some high school kids in california.
    This strip is getting too big for itself. Snore

    MW – So I guess the mob caught up to daddy killed him off so Gina can now come out of hiding and go find her true love , because true love conquers all and Mary will give her away and oh please just STFU already LOL. This strip’s writer and or cartoonist needs to get a life and write better stories.

    Crankshaft – so the catcher cheap shotted and tagged her out ? WTF. When she nailed the check ,play should have been stopped anyway and timed out ,what did the change the rules on softball too and to begin with why the hell did she go over to the pitcher when she knew the trainers and coaches would be running over .. stupid stupid strip

    FW – YAY in both of Batiuks strips people get nailed. I knew Les would get nailed haha. The time gap between strips is tearing the space time continuum

    Curtis – This kid will grow up being a co -dependent or homeless and Barry will be rich and most likely take pity on Curtis and have to support him . Well then again maybe not

    Hi&Lois … Typical women . bitch and moan when summer comes around and they are fat and obese and try to pour into that swimsuit yet when winter comes around they are eating whole cakes. i don’t get it though since in cartoonland people never get any fatter or thinnner. Lois and her neighbor are thin all the time so why are they bitching – its cartoonland eat eat eat you bitches lol.

  51. Not Just Any Dipstick
    September 2nd, 2011 at 10:01 am [Reply]

    a3g: ‘And take off that silly dress dear, or it will get messed up with grass stains.

    MT: Kelly Welly is about to find herself in the root cellar of an abandoned cabin, while Mark wanders aimlessly (as always).

  52. sporknpork
    September 2nd, 2011 at 10:01 am [Reply]

    The only thing going through Crankshaft’s mind is how he can squeeze a handful of Cayla’s afro when she’s not looking. That, and his impending death.

  53. Not Just Any Dipstick
    September 2nd, 2011 at 10:04 am [Reply]

    Phone hacked company secrets? Not possible. Idiots abound.

  54. Braniff
    September 2nd, 2011 at 10:13 am [Reply]

    @Flying Manatee (#22): FC: Mommy: “Jeffy, once you get those silicone implants, perhaps you can audition for the Farrah Fawcett role in the next remake of Charlie’s Angels–or play Laverne in a remake of Laverne & Shirley”

  55. Écureuil Écumant
    September 2nd, 2011 at 10:14 am [Reply]

    S-M: “It seems to get MJ steamed!” Yeah, that, along with whining that your eggs are cold. I think we all realize just how cold your eggs. are.

    I will say this, though — I don’t mind gazing at her steamed hams.

  56. Braniff
    September 2nd, 2011 at 10:15 am [Reply]

    FC: See Jeffy go on Dancing With The Stars after his sex-change. Wait that may have been done by the time the storyline wraps up!

  57. Apeman
    September 2nd, 2011 at 10:18 am [Reply]

    Crankshafted: Cayla, you didn’t cost your team the game because you were a good sport. You cost your team the game because you couldn’t stay on first base. So it wasn’t compassion that hurt your team. It was stupidity. Because that’s how the Funkyverse works, no matter what. It’s powered by tragedy and the heart of a forsaken child.

  58. Oregonian
    September 2nd, 2011 at 10:18 am [Reply]

    Six dead husbands? There’s got to be some “hex” joke here and it’s only escaping me because I haven’t had enough coffee.

    BTW, my first thought was that the hand on the widow’s shoulder belongs to the guy in the brown suit, who is clearly missing his right hand. But that can’t be the answer because the hand on her shoulder is clearly… a LEFT hand! Shylock Fox has taught me a thing or two about looking for clues, I’ll tell you that.

  59. Krazy Kat
    September 2nd, 2011 at 10:22 am [Reply]

    “I didn’t need to see you score the winning run, darling; what I saw was so much better. Namely, you stretching your at-bat out to last about seven days. Most people who want to make a show of how much better of a person they are than everyone else aren’t able to draw it out so long, but you, my child, have a gift! Tell you what: later we can toss the ball around in the backyard and I’ll teach you how to be smug. What do you say? Yeah? Now who wants ice cream?”

  60. TheDiva
    September 2nd, 2011 at 10:23 am [Reply]

    C’shaft: Given the era Smokey grew up in, I’m guessing he “liked what he saw” because it confirms his ingrained belief that women lack the competitive edge to be good athletes, and now Cayla will surely abandon her embarrassing tomboy ways for more ladylike pursuits like being a doormat for smug widowers.

    FW: *sings* It’s schadenfreude, making the world a better place to beeeeeeeeee!

    GT: I know, Mark Tabor! What a shock, huh?….Wait, who’s Mark Tabor?

    Luann: Ah, the dilemma. Do I look just so I can snark? Or do I retain my sanity and breakfast for the morning?

    MW: I’m calling it: Bobby is either a) dead or b) happily married with a family because he hasn’t been dwelling on his teenage crush like a complete tool for the past several years, unlike some other people I could name.

    Pluggers can no longer cheat at bowling, but there’s always golf.

  61. Anonymous
    September 2nd, 2011 at 10:23 am [Reply]

    Funky Winkerbean: Realistic? No. Satisfying? Of course!

  62. Snowshoecat
    September 2nd, 2011 at 10:24 am [Reply]

    @Flummoxicated (#8):
    Bravo!!!! Worth turning back to number 8. I’m a terrible typist and this comment is too good to miss!

  63. Chip Whittle
    September 2nd, 2011 at 10:24 am [Reply]

    9 Chickweed Lane: When did Pibgorn become the non-squicky one?

    Alley Oop: Ava’s getting nearly sarcastic enough to hang out around here.

    B.C.: See, it’s funny because the pessimist… looks for the blue sky… and the chance of sun?

    Spider-Baldo is a lot more active and involved than regular Spider-Man. Granted, so are spiders.

    Flo and Friends: “Just because your only tool is a hammer doesn’t mean the rest of us are nails!” “What does that even mean? Because it doesn’t have anything to do with me telling you to hurry up when we’re being late.”

    Fred Basset: I find it quite believable that Fred Basset would be excited about getting a tow-bar.

  64. pugfuggly
    September 2nd, 2011 at 10:26 am [Reply]

    Les couldn’t have hit himself with a softball off his bat like that. The angle of the bat, the direction of the ball, the motion of his head, it just doesn’t add up, like it’s some kind of ‘magic softball’. But if he didn’t hit himself in the face, then…there was a second batter on the field!!!

    I look forward to the climax of this storyline, when Les has locked Cayla’s entire family in the living room while he reviews the video of the game on cousin Jim’s iphone. “See how my head turns like that, right before I start crying? Back, and to the left…..back, and to the left….back and to the….”

  65. Ranger
    September 2nd, 2011 at 10:26 am [Reply]

    Marvin: Its called Entropy mother. Part of nature, go look it up. Now if you don’t mind, I’m going to stand here and soil myself. Entropy in motion!

  66. Krazy Kat
    September 2nd, 2011 at 10:29 am [Reply]

    @Ned Ryerson (#49): I’ve seen pitchers get beaned by come-backers. It happens a couple of times a season, actually. I can think of three or four MLB pitchers who have been hit in the head by come-backers just off the top of my head.

    Wait, was that a pun?

  67. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    September 2nd, 2011 at 10:30 am [Reply]

    Family – Thel is slowly becoming abstract. It’ll be good to get past this awkward time in the strip’s development to where Thel is replaced by a regular rectangular placard with the word “MOMMY” on it, and perhaps some representation of her chest.

    Hägar – “Just be sure and carry Snert farther this time. He keeps finding his way back.”

    Marmaduke – “Did Marmaduke just talk again? That’s so disturbing.”

  68. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    September 2nd, 2011 at 10:32 am [Reply]

    R=R – A genuine HACK will always be sure and put in an explanatory caption for a wordless joke.

    Slylock – Got it! The friendly squirrel is just like the hostile squirrel except he’s smiling and you don’t see a switchblade in his hand.

    @gleeb (#y251): I never got the appeal of Eartha Kitt’s Catwoman. There’s the name, I guess. After Julie Newmar, though, she just seemed sort of stumpy.

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#31): “Are you sure you don’t need to me to do anything? Anything? Here—I’ll wash these paper plates! And these crumpled paper napkins need smoothing!”
    Now I’m reminded of a scene in MAD where a blue-collar family washes the paper plates: “You scrape, and I’ll erase.”

  69. Écureuil Écumant
    September 2nd, 2011 at 10:34 am [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#64): “But if he didn’t hit himself in the face, then…there was a second batter on the field!!!”

    Not on the field of play. But look! Right over there on Coogan’s Bluff! There on the left in Frame 413!

  70. Kristian
    September 2nd, 2011 at 10:37 am [Reply]

    @Chip Whittle (#28): [friendly squirrel] Yes, one basic rule is “visible whites all around the pupil = staring”.

  71. Liam
    September 2nd, 2011 at 10:42 am [Reply]

    MW-When you tell this story and I know that you will, don’t bore your audience to death with it like you have done with me.

  72. pugfuggly
    September 2nd, 2011 at 10:46 am [Reply]

    @Écureuil Écumant (#69):

    “…now what I really need to figure out is (1)why was I hit in the face, (2)who benefitted, and (3) who is powerful enough to cover it up…”

    “Les, honey, let’s just go home. You can sleuth more tomorrow….”

  73. Chip Whittle
    September 2nd, 2011 at 10:49 am [Reply]

    Gasoline Alley: Well, hi, Jessica, character who apparently has interesting adventures that have never been seen or mentioned before! Here to make us long for the washing machine repair scenes?

    You don’t suppose they’re buying an ISS vacation, do you?

    Gil Thorp: “To you newcomers, welcome! To the familiar faces, welcome back! Let’s get to work. Our destination is the Talos star group, and our warp speed, factor seven.”

    Lost Side of Suburbia launches an attack on Cul de Sac today, for those looking.

    Momma: “Oh, I almost forgot…here’s a ‘bread and butter’ gift that I carried over here, clutched obsessively through the night, and was walking out the door holding. Funny how that slipped my mind.”

    Off The Mark: Only later did Logan’s Mom realize she couldn’t tell when she was reading a book of Mad Libs.

    That can’t be a real completed Mad Lib. None of the nouns are “poop.”

  74. Rocky Stoneaxe
    September 2nd, 2011 at 10:55 am [Reply]

    Modesty Blaise — Don’t get me wrong… I’m glad GoComics.com is running reprints of this classic strip, but does it have to be “en Español” instead of the original English?

  75. TheDiva
    September 2nd, 2011 at 10:57 am [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#60): Well, I looked, and now I know why TJ has permagrin–it’s just too creepy to make his mouth move in any other way. Also, apparently Greg Evans has taken to drawing Ann and Toni wrestling in his off time. Seriously, dude, they have therapists for this sort of thing now…

  76. The Elf
    September 2nd, 2011 at 11:02 am [Reply]

    Considering current naming trends, we should just be happy that “Serra” doesn’t include extraneous Ys, silent letters, pronunciation that does not follow existing rules, random capitalization, or apostrophes. Serra seems downright normal compared to Syrrya, Searran, SerRa, or Ser’ra. All pronounced “Sarah”, of course. By the time you’re old enough for the nursing home, “Joshua” will be considered weird.

  77. Cliff Arroyo
    September 2nd, 2011 at 11:03 am [Reply]

    DON’T STOP CAYLA!!! DON’T STOP HITTING HIM UNTIL HE’S DEAD!!!!

  78. Chip Whittle
    September 2nd, 2011 at 11:06 am [Reply]

    Prickly City: Ha ha, those weenie liberal media types, thinking a character who’s been wracked with guilt for weeks might be capable of redemption!

    Reply All: You know, in the background of the second panel, that’s actually not a bad UPA-style rendering of a clothes store if you’re doing it entirely with blocks of color and no border lines. Er…except Donna Lewis went and used border lines. Sorry.

    Scary Gary: Gadzooks, but Scary Gary has got into My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic.

    Today’s Dogg: Awwww, cute little fun-loving doggy is gonna go catapulting into an 18-wheeler the first stop light they encounter!

    Watch Your Head: I appreciate this “student ID week” every semester as it reminds me who these characters are I can’t tell apart and what they’re doing that I don’t know.

    Zack Hill: “The average American makes 2 tons of trash per year! We’re filling the earth with 300 tons of garbage! And there’s apparently 150 Americans!”

  79. maarvarq
    September 2nd, 2011 at 11:07 am [Reply]

    Six Chix: … and of course, the rest of the strip is so impeccably drawn.

  80. The Mighty Untrained FOOZLE
    September 2nd, 2011 at 11:08 am [Reply]

    I’m not sure if the hallway to Petey and MJ’s apartment is higher than their floor (and with no step down, to boot), or if the newspaper is levitating. No wonder MJ has to strike such an awkward pose just to approach the paper.

    Could this be the work of Forced Perspective Man? “Ha ha! I will use my incredible powers of bending time and space to provide minor inconveniences to Spider-Man so that he will whine himself to death! My plan is perfect!”

  81. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    September 2nd, 2011 at 11:09 am [Reply]

    Love Is. . . .post-O naps.

  82. Jacob
    September 2nd, 2011 at 11:13 am [Reply]

    Seeing Les hit a baseball into his own face has to be the happiest Funky Winkerbean has ever made me by a wide, wide margin.

  83. Comcis Fan
    September 2nd, 2011 at 11:16 am [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#25):

    Oh, you made me laugh out loud, literally. If you don’t already have a dad blog or column, you should!

  84. Kristian
    September 2nd, 2011 at 11:21 am [Reply]

    @Not Just Any Dipstick (#51): [A3G] No, not grass stains.

    @pugfuggly (#64): [FW] Beautiful.

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#68): [Catwoman] I like Newmar, but Eartha Kitt could probably kick her ass in real life. (Did you see her in Mission: Impossible?)

    @Chip Whittle (#78): [Today's Dogg] That isn’t one of those 19th century Prussian helmets is it? Oh, great puppy gods, forget I said that. Velcro, pretend I said Velcro.

  85. Comcis Fan
    September 2nd, 2011 at 11:22 am [Reply]

    FW: I think I’ve been waiting for Cayla to do this since Les told her how Lisa liked to spread the jelly, and I think Cayla’s been waiting, maybe subconsciously, to do it as well. Thank you, Batiuk, unless the next weeks or months consist of poor Les and his surgeries and irritability and scowls and depression and Cayla — guilty Cayla — waiting on him hand and foot. Funkiverse-time-continuum question: Why is teen Cayla of Crankshaft looking middle-aged and middle-aged Cayla of post-time-jump Funky Winkerbean looking teenage (to say nothing of biracial)?

  86. gleeb
    September 2nd, 2011 at 11:27 am [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#68): Eartha had the voice, the attitude. No, she didn’t move like Newmar, but then, Newmar is a dancer. But, honest people can disagree amicably.

    At least they didn’t say Lee Merriwether. Nice woman, but…yeah, that would really be crazy talk.

  87. Comcis Fan
    September 2nd, 2011 at 11:28 am [Reply]

    Wouldn’t it have made more sense for the hacker to break into the computer network? Breaking into the phone network, he’s likely to find little more than Dagwood’s speed-dial codes for the local sandwich shop.

  88. Karen Sue
    September 2nd, 2011 at 11:39 am [Reply]

    @diagnull (#43):

    Seattle-Pilot

  89. archikvetch
    September 2nd, 2011 at 11:41 am [Reply]

    Familiy Circus goes to Therapy:
    Nurse: “Dr. Bachmann – Jeffery is here to see you…”
    Marcus: “Is he wearing, uh you know…”

  90. UncleJeff
    September 2nd, 2011 at 11:48 am [Reply]

    re Catwoman: Definitely Eartha Kitt. She was tough enough to take on Lyndon Johnson….she was certainly tough enough to take on Adam West (BIFF! POW!!!)

    And, oh yes, PURRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrr

  91. Mibbitmaker
    September 2nd, 2011 at 11:48 am [Reply]

    For the last few months I’ve been working on a comic strip I’d like to use as a webcomic. I’ve been producing a backlog of material, and I’m now near ready to learn how to make a file with my scanner and get it online.

    I’m asking for any advice that will help, especially any of you with your own webcomic. I need to use a free hosting site, and have narrowed it down to two possibilities: Webcomics Nation, or (our own) WordPress. Early on I read the sample steps to going on WordPress. I’m not very tech savvy, but it seemed pretty easy (though I haven’t been through how the ComicPress works yet). I’ve checked out a number of strips on both systems, both back then and this week.

    My originals are 6 5/8″ by 9 7/8″ (8″ by 12″ for more complex layouts or more panels), all drawn/lettered by hand. Getting anything published (currently a graphic novel; two rejections so far — one publisher loved it, but… – and the other disliked it — out of three places that’ll accept unsolicited submissions) seems an uphill battle, plus crafting submissions is a pain in the Les Moore ass.

    In any case, thanks in advance for any advice given.

  92. The Gringo Kid
    September 2nd, 2011 at 11:53 am [Reply]

    Funky: In all my years of playing/watching baseball/softball, I have never seen ANY batter hit himself or herself in the face. So chalk up another first for the Specialest Blowfake.

    Pluggers: … also see their average golf score rise from 80 to 100 when they’re barred from using the foot wedge.

    Sally 4th: 1-2-3-4! … Gabba gabba hey!

    xkcd: Take that, parents!

    Zits: Hole in the wall, or terrifying, ghostly face from another dimension?

  93. The Gringo Kid
    September 2nd, 2011 at 11:56 am [Reply]

    The Unassuming Spider-Man: No wonder Peter Parker can’t shake his super-hero lethargy, when breakfast consists of runny eggs and a salmon square.

  94. Bill Peschel
    September 2nd, 2011 at 12:01 pm [Reply]

    FW: Cayla, remember “Zombieland”? Always double-tap. That way, you’re sure he’s dead for good.

  95. Liam
    September 2nd, 2011 at 12:01 pm [Reply]

    FW-How is that possible? It barely touches him and it bounces up to hit him in the face. It should bounce to the side or down. Of course all the strips with Les Moore could be some sort of coma dream that he is going through. That would explain why his crappy book is going to be turned into a movie.

  96. The Gringo Kid
    September 2nd, 2011 at 12:05 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#36): “how to dress for a Dirty Job …”
    Max Klinger, the “After-M*A*S*H” years?

  97. twg
    September 2nd, 2011 at 12:06 pm [Reply]

    RMMD: Um, why is talking to Foster “dirty pool” exactly? I don’t understand why it isn’t SOP.

    MW: Isn’t this just a few years later? Is Gina’s mother suffering from Cryptkeeper Syndrome or something?

    FW: HAHAHAHA YESSS

  98. word-doctor
    September 2nd, 2011 at 12:07 pm [Reply]

    FW: As a boy, Les gave “the Look” to a pre-dementia Lucy McKenzie, little knowing that “Wipe that smirk off your face” was a powerful curse that would doom innumerable pairs of his glasses until he dies of cancer.

  99. Artist formerly known as Ben
    September 2nd, 2011 at 12:10 pm [Reply]

    S-M: Josh, we all hope that all Serra had to do was fall in line with the Bugle’s editorial stance. The things she may have done to/with Triple J for a quick rise up the ladder could really keep you from getting a good sleep.

    6C: So she’s been married to a lot of street thugs in the Death Wish series?

    JP: I’m sure Sam is very familiar with the name “Gary Roberts”, having heard Abbey moan it or scream it several times.

    MW: My theory about Gina performing ventriloquism with her mother’s dead body still stands.

    SSmith: Scurvy! It’s what’s for dinner.

    Popeye: Don’t get them wet, or else you’ll be committing borderline plagiarism.

    BB: Make tracks, Cpl Yo. You don’t want to know what Beetle will do to get that furlough.

    Phantom: “Why Mister Walker! I was just about to hit the showers. Sure hope no one walks in while I’m naked, wink wink.”

  100. The Gringo Kid
    September 2nd, 2011 at 12:16 pm [Reply]

    6 Chix: I’ve seen this movie, it starred Michael Caine.

    9CL: And tonight, Rosie O’Donnell will be stepping into the role of Sister Mary Margaret McFlummoxed …

    Funky redux: And for approximately the third time in his life, Les gets nailed. (Or should we just say, Les gets ‘Shafted?)

  101. Écureuil Écumant
    September 2nd, 2011 at 12:17 pm [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#72): As to the cui bono, it’d be easiest to start with the phone book and then go back and maybe cross out a handful of names, such as anyone involved in the eschatology industry.

  102. Wally Winkerbean
    September 2nd, 2011 at 12:19 pm [Reply]

    @The Gringo Kid (#100):

    Funky “shafted” Les years ago.

  103. The Gringo Kid
    September 2nd, 2011 at 12:19 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#68): Here—I’ll wash these paper plates! And these crumpled paper napkins need smoothing.
    This was actually a weeklong storyline in Pickles recently, and it was pretty funny.

  104. MapDark
    September 2nd, 2011 at 12:19 pm [Reply]

    MW : Dawn proved to us by being an addict that the internet and twitter AND facebook exist in the Mary Worth dimension. SO WHY HASN’T GINA USED IT YET?! I mean come on! I found most of the people I went to school with on it!

  105. The Gringo Kid
    September 2nd, 2011 at 12:21 pm [Reply]

    @Chip Whittle (#78): Scary Gary has become one of my favorite strips. The recent storyline about the zombie standup comic would have been right at home in Lio.

  106. The Gringo Kid
    September 2nd, 2011 at 12:23 pm [Reply]

    @Comcis Fan (#85): I think I’ve been waiting for Cayla to do this since Les told her how Lisa liked to spread the jelly.
    I’m hoping that “spread the jelly” is a euphemism for something naughty.

  107. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    September 2nd, 2011 at 12:26 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#36): and @The Gringo Kid (#96): Is it weird that I found that image kinda hot? (I have a bit of a thing for Mike Rowe. . . .)

  108. Jym Dyer
    September 2nd, 2011 at 12:29 pm [Reply]

    ? Spider-Man: I agree that it’s jarring to see MJ (or anyone else) drawn as if she moves like a human being. I’ll note, though, that the artist did take pains to position her left arm back far enough so the he could draw a boob.

    ? Funkshaft Crankerbean: Young Cayla, who’s been on a team and playing outdoors all summer, has relatively light skin. In the sibling strip, adult Cayla, who works indoors at the school and spends her free time in shaded parks and Les’ bedroom, is much darker. More dadaist colorization from Reed-Brennan.

  109. The Gringo Kid
    September 2nd, 2011 at 12:30 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#107): Love the show. Not so sure about the picture, though.

  110. Anonymous
    September 2nd, 2011 at 12:33 pm [Reply]

    @Flummoxicated (#8):

    This tragic tale of cruel fate will end with freakin’ Mary Worth telling this potatohead 20-something how to look some one up on the Internet.

    We’ve never seen Mary us the internet, have we?

  111. Anonymous
    September 2nd, 2011 at 12:37 pm [Reply]

    @Chip Whittle (#19):

    Crankshaft: ( Cayla) showed (she) either don’t know the rules and customs of (her) chosen sport, or that(she was) oblivious to the people rendering actual aid to the injured player, or that (she’ll) grandstand and give the appearance of caring without actually doing anything rather than respect the needs of (her) team.

    Basically, she’s a attention deficit rubbernecker.

  112. geekwhisperer
    September 2nd, 2011 at 12:41 pm [Reply]

    @Anonymous (#110): No, but she hated all over the Kindle a few months back.

    *realizes he’s following Mary Worth and can cite story arcs from memory, begins weeping*

  113. commodorejohn
    September 2nd, 2011 at 12:45 pm [Reply]

    A3G – Carol Linski freaks me out. She’s like no late-middle-aged woman I’ve ever seen. Even among the ranks of the truly elderly, I’ve only encountered a few such bleach-white hair-helmets, and only once paired with a pink blouse. She looks like she stepped full-formed out of Biddies Monthly.

    Crankshaft – Crankshaft stands silently by, in silent judgement of Cayla’s weakness. Mercy is for losers, Cayla!

    DT – So whose idea was it to build the D.A.’s office in an Ayn Rand story?

    FC – …well isn’t this just begging for Photoshop.

    FW – IN YOUR FACE, DICKWEED! RIGHT IN YOUR SMUG RAT FACE! Ah, life is good.

    GT – “Welcome…to my nightmare.

    JP – “I was right, it was hormonal!” Sam says, casually smug. “You women and your fleshy weakness! I had my hormonal glands surgically removed years ago, and now I’m like the twelfth-richest man in the country and climbing!”

    Luan – nonononononononoNONONONONONONONO. For once I’m glad I work mornings on Fridays, as it means I can’t listen to this. I’m just afraid my damnable curiousity may compel me when I get home…

    MT – Don’t trust him, Kelly! He’s got a mustache!

    MW – “You do other things in your sleep, too. It wasn’t hard to put two and two together, but jeez!

    MW – Ricardo Montalban!

    SF – No, she’s still doing the count-out, Hil. You did know she plays in 21/4, right?

  114. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    September 2nd, 2011 at 12:48 pm [Reply]

    @Anonymous (#110): Didn’t she almost use it, when Wilber was trying to show her the wonders of computing machines? I think the sandwich porn scared her off, though.

  115. commodorejohn
    September 2nd, 2011 at 12:49 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#113): “Phantom – Ricardo Montalban!”

    Not that I’d object to either Khan or Mr. Rourke making an appearance in Mary Worth.

  116. Poteet
    September 2nd, 2011 at 12:53 pm [Reply]

    S-M — How does the BUGLE keep going, financially? Is Jameson the eccentric son of a billionaire? Is he a member of a mob family with relatives who extort ad money from local businesses? Or does the BUGLE consist entirely of 1) anti-Spider-Man stories, and 2) porn?

  117. The Eskimo
    September 2nd, 2011 at 12:55 pm [Reply]

    Interesting to notice the details that the Spider Man artist focuses on. Mary Jane’s posture in picking up the paper, as Josh mentioned, is well conceived…but also notice how precisely Peter holds his for in Panel 1. Perfect posture. On the other hand, in the rendering of the newspaper picture it appears that Spider Man is swinging over a set of high school bleachers into a wall made of coat hangers.

  118. Scott Bot
    September 2nd, 2011 at 12:56 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#115): As long as he drives there in his Cordoba…

  119. Scott Bot
    September 2nd, 2011 at 1:00 pm [Reply]

    @The Eskimo (#117): On the other hand, in the rendering of the newspaper picture it appears that Spider Man is swinging over a set of high school bleachers into a wall made of coat hangers.

    That wouldn’t surprise me in the least. It is Spider-Man, after all.

  120. Comcis Fan
    September 2nd, 2011 at 1:03 pm [Reply]

    @The Gringo Kid (#106):

    Unfortunately (or fortunately) for all concerned, it didn’t, unless “to the edge of the bread” is code for sexy regions.

  121. Marc
    September 2nd, 2011 at 1:07 pm [Reply]

    Family Circus- Nothing worse than a gender confused melonhead stading in a what is apparently a vast expanse of nothingness.

    Funky & Cranky- Physics and logic need not apply. I’m so happy to see that self righteous jag off get his face smashed up. However I’m afraid that Batiuk will make him one of his “special needs” characters joining the like of Becky the one armed band director, Harry the deaf band director, PTSD ridden now docile nut job Wally, Formerly cancer ridden now dead Lisa, Orphaned date rape baby Darrin and his wife Dead Dad Jessica, and Fat-alcoholic Funky to try and show all the “real issues” he’s dealing with. You know what now that I’ve listed all them I’ve realized that pretty much every character in this strip is seriously screwed up in some way…. Goddam I hate it so much.

  122. Karmyn
    September 2nd, 2011 at 1:08 pm [Reply]

    Oh My Chuck, but Funky Winkerbean was awesome today. I laughed, I clapped, I had a happy.
    Of course tomorrow will be smugness again, but oh, the joy that was today.

  123. Marc
    September 2nd, 2011 at 1:09 pm [Reply]

    That is to say Les will be temporarily blinded and we’ll be treated to the Summer’s knee incident X20. He will mope, people will for some reason feel sorry for him, and I’ll want to jump off a cliff.

  124. O Grey Goose, Lost
    September 2nd, 2011 at 1:10 pm [Reply]

    @The Gringo Kid (#106) and @Comcis Fan (#120): I must demur, as follows:

    J-e-l-l-y ROLL! J-E-E-E-L-L-L-L-Y … R-O-O-O-L-L-L-L-L!!!

    mm-mm-mm!

  125. Charles
    September 2nd, 2011 at 1:12 pm [Reply]

    @Ned Ryerson (#49): “And then it gets really bad!”

  126. ElkMeadow
    September 2nd, 2011 at 1:12 pm [Reply]

    @geekwhisperer (#23):

    pull out a phone and type his name and high school into facebook. Your call, Mary.

    You mean she should text on the TracFone? TracFone has a facebook? Does Mary text? Doesn’t her phone have a spiral cord attached to it?

  127. Écureuil Écumant
    September 2nd, 2011 at 1:15 pm [Reply]

    @ElkMeadow (#126): “Doesn’t her phone have a spiral cord attached to it?”

    It’s got more spirals than it originally came with, because she keeps catching it in the crank when she goes to phone someone.

  128. btown
    September 2nd, 2011 at 1:17 pm [Reply]

    MT: does anybody else think that Kelly Welly looks like Sarah Palin? Or that Sergeant McQueen looks like a PEZ dispenser?

  129. Little Guy
    September 2nd, 2011 at 1:17 pm [Reply]

    FW: Can a foul ball ricochet up to the face? Yes, it can. The chances do increase upon douchiness.

    9CL: Yes, Sister Sourpuss. The human body is evil and yucky. Now go pray to your bleeding nekkid Saviour.

  130. Little Guy
    September 2nd, 2011 at 1:19 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#116): Anti Spider-man Porn.

  131. The Gringo Kid
    September 2nd, 2011 at 1:20 pm [Reply]

    @Comcis Fan (#85): Why is teen Cayla of Crankshaft looking middle-aged and middle-aged Cayla of post-time-jump Funky Winkerbean looking teenage (to say nothing of biracial)?
    Cayla’s skin may no longer have the shading of coal, but Les is still hoping she’s bitumerous.

  132. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    September 2nd, 2011 at 1:21 pm [Reply]

    @The Gringo Kid (#109): that’s what makes it so doggone funny!

    we’ll have bb,u writing Mike Rowe/ in no time. Maybe Austria or yaoi huntress will let her borrow some of their Magic Love Gentlemen manga. . . .

  133. The Gringo Kid
    September 2nd, 2011 at 1:21 pm [Reply]

    @The Gringo Kid (#131): Make that “bitumorous.” Dang, ruined my own joke.

  134. Écureuil Écumant
    September 2nd, 2011 at 1:23 pm [Reply]

    @The Gringo Kid (#131): Truly a wicked double pun — orthography notwithstanding *doffs cap in salute*

  135. The Gringo Kid
    September 2nd, 2011 at 1:23 pm [Reply]

    @O Grey Goose, Lost (#124): Jelly Roll Morton would concur.

  136. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    September 2nd, 2011 at 1:24 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#113): re “Woman Is”

    it’s too late for me, save yourself!

    (it is beyond horrid.)

  137. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    September 2nd, 2011 at 1:24 pm [Reply]

  138. Edward F. Rochester
    September 2nd, 2011 at 1:25 pm [Reply]

    @Scott Bot (#11): FW: It’s not possible. As I said earlier, in over 50 years of watching and playing baseball and softball, I have NEVER seen a foul tip that deflected into a batter’s face. Never.

    Batters wear helmets to protect them from wild pitches.

  139. cheech wizard
    September 2nd, 2011 at 1:26 pm [Reply]

    MT – “Does Mark know you’re here?” You can just see the wheels turning in his mind, mentally sizing Kelly up for a discarded oil drum.

    And isn’t Kelly supposed to be a photographer? Maybe after the “tying the boat to the dock” episode, the magazine decided a pencil was the most complicated piece of equipment she could be trusted with.

    MW – Gina, promise me this –that you’ll go back to college. And find Bobby – I know you still miss him. And that you’ll pick up your room! I swear, it’s a pigstyle. And lose some weight, and learn the piano, and stop slouching and sit up straight, and finish your vegetables and…don’t look at me like that, I’m your mother and these are my dying wishes. You wouldn’t deny me that, would you? No wonder I’m going to an early grave…”

    MW, take two – “How did you know?” “You moan his name when you masturbate, my dear. Do you think I don’t know what that buzzing is?”

    FC – More to the point, why does Dolly’s suit have a top when she doesn’t have any tits?

    FW – Normally, I’d enjoy this. But I’m afraid Les is going to end up having a near-death experience, which would probably make his day.

    Shaft – “I liked what I saw much better – haven’t I always taught you that you must kill anyone who opposes you?”

    SF – Ahem. Hey Bob Weber, you promised us Cassandra Cat in a bikini before swimsuit season ended. I’d just like to point out that Monday is Labor Day.

  140. The Gringo Kid
    September 2nd, 2011 at 1:28 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#132): Mike Rowe manga? Or Mike Rowe hentai? Talk about your “dirty jobs” indeed!

  141. Écureuil Écumant
    September 2nd, 2011 at 1:30 pm [Reply]

    @The Gringo Kid (#135): So would Little Debbie.

  142. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    September 2nd, 2011 at 1:31 pm [Reply]

    @The Gringo Kid (#140): Mike Rowe “slash”

    ecchi level would depend on bb,u. ;-)

  143. Écureuil Écumant
    September 2nd, 2011 at 1:32 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#137): Yeah, coal. All that dirty, smutty talk tickles the folds in my orogenous zones.

  144. Artist formerly known as Ben
    September 2nd, 2011 at 1:33 pm [Reply]

    Edge City: Colin is such a smug douche I see a terminally ill wife and one-off bestseller in his future. Beyond that, I don’t get Carly. As of now Mrs Hudson is making such a big deal over her that it’s marking her as a teacher’s pet and no doubt making her scads of enemies in the class. The last thing she should be afraid of is that this demented behavior will stop.

  145. Orion
    September 2nd, 2011 at 1:35 pm [Reply]

    I had a classmate in college named Serra. She was from Turkey, so I assumed it was a cultural thing…

  146. The Spectacular Spider-Brick
    September 2nd, 2011 at 1:39 pm [Reply]

    @Ned Ryerson (#49): Yes. That.

  147. Artist formerly known as Ben
    September 2nd, 2011 at 1:43 pm [Reply]

    @cheech wizard (#139):

    FC – More to the point, why does Dolly’s suit have a top when she doesn’t have any tits?

    The same cannot be said of Jeffy, so he’s actually got a valid point.

  148. cheech wizard
    September 2nd, 2011 at 1:47 pm [Reply]

    FW – When this game started, I figured that Les would up getting hurt, but I was hoping it would involve Cayla’s family beating the living crap out of him with softball bats.

  149. Braniff
    September 2nd, 2011 at 1:48 pm [Reply]

    @UncleJeff (#90): FC: Now how would the late Eartha Kitt deal with a gender-confused Jeffy Keane (such as the one we’re seeing today)?

  150. marvee
    September 2nd, 2011 at 1:49 pm [Reply]

    @Flummoxicated (#8): Why do you read it?

  151. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    September 2nd, 2011 at 1:49 pm [Reply]

    @Little Guy (#130):

    Spider-man lay unconscious in the alley. The blow to the head from that brick would surely keep him unconscious for hours. Mary-Jane saw her opportunity. Adjusting her blouse, she approached the homeless man lying next to her fiancee’s motionless body.

    “Hey, big boy, do you like what you see?”
    “You mean, Spider Man? Injured and unconscious?”
    “Oh, yes, that is what I mean! Do you think he has a concussion? Tell me!!”
    “Likely a concussion. And contusions. He will probably be in a coma for weeks. Not that you would notice…”
    “Yes! Yes!! Oh, God, YES!”

  152. The Gringo Kid
    September 2nd, 2011 at 1:51 pm [Reply]

    @Écureuil Écumant (#141): That brings to mind a whole other song:

    Little Debbie, Little Debbie / I’m a-comin’ on home, baby / ’cause you make me wanna walk / like a camel.

  153. The Gringo Kid
    September 2nd, 2011 at 1:52 pm [Reply]

    @The Gringo Kid (#152): Now it’s really stuck in my head:

    Baby, would you eat that there snack cracker / in your special outfit for me, please?

  154. geekwhisperer
    September 2nd, 2011 at 1:53 pm [Reply]

    Funk-O-Shaft: Oh lord, I think I know what’s going on. Will Les be knocked unconscious and have some “Lisa Time” where he gets to discuss his impending nuptials with Cayla? If this is the case will it be more effective for me to drink radiator fluid or lye or to mix them?

  155. A New Day
    September 2nd, 2011 at 1:56 pm [Reply]

    six chix: I assumed that guy was the undertaker, and that our heroine was under the impression that the only way to see one of these guys is to bury a loved one, or in this case, a husband.
    As for the hand, it seems to belong to the preacher guy in the brown suit, or possibly the purple lady, though where the rest of her bits have scampered off to is anyone’s guess. I guess in a community where appendages lead their own separate zombie lives apart from their original owners, serial-killing spouses is actually not that big a deal, and we should probably stop being such prudes about it.

  156. Walker of Dog
    September 2nd, 2011 at 2:00 pm [Reply]

    @Chip Whittle (#19):

    What does someone need Lu Ann for, except as a counter-example?

    Ballast?

    A3G: An intoxicating beverage? A cigarette?! The blue side of the Linski clan is deeply debauched.

    GT: That Maris…so delicate. With the appetite of a bird…

    FC: Thel whips off Jeffy’s trunks and shoves them onto his head.
    Thel: “Happy?”
    Jeffy: “It smell like Arby’s.”

    S-M; Now, are those the hot eggs or the cold ones? This story is so complicated.
    But the eggs are shaped like a gargoyle’s profile. So there’s something interesting.

    FW: I’m worried that Old Noodle-Arms isn’t capable of imparting enough force to the ball for it to do serious damage. But physics be damned – this is my new screensaver!

  157. Wally Winkerbean
    September 2nd, 2011 at 2:03 pm [Reply]

    @Marc (#121):

    So, how did the kid who lived in his locker and listen to frozen pizzas on his stereo become the most “normal”, “well adjusted” one?

    Writing?

  158. Scott Bot
    September 2nd, 2011 at 2:06 pm [Reply]

    Pluggers – are also ticked that the bowling alley has an answering machine that lists their hours and league days, so they can’t do the ‘Do you have ten pound balls? Where do you get pants for those?’ prank.

  159. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    September 2nd, 2011 at 2:11 pm [Reply]

    Spotting 6 Differences? There’s an APP for that!

    (as spotted on TDC.)

  160. The Gringo Kid
    September 2nd, 2011 at 2:13 pm [Reply]

    @The Gringo Kid (#153):
    Yo, ye pharoahs, let us walk / through this barren desert, in search of truth / and some pointy boots / and maybe a few snack crackers /
    Baby, you make me wanna walk / like a camel

    Gargh, make it stop!

  161. Chip Whittle
    September 2nd, 2011 at 2:16 pm [Reply]

    Spider-Man: Wait, I’ve got it. The headline is itself a Mad Lib, with Jameson just filling in whatever noun flashed into his head the last time he thought about Spidey being a villain. The past week has seen the headlines “SPIDER-MAN ROBS BEER STORE”, “SPIDER-MAN ROBS BOOGER STORE”, “SPIDER-MAN ROBS IN BED STORE”, “SPIDER-MAN ROBS KITTY CAT STORE”, and “SPIDER-MAN ROBS KILLER VAMPIRE BRICK STORE”, with only the “BED” having anything to do with the real Spider-Man.

  162. Comcis Fan
    September 2nd, 2011 at 2:20 pm [Reply]

  163. Écureuil Écumant
    September 2nd, 2011 at 2:31 pm [Reply]

    @The Gringo Kid (#160): Ah, the caravan is coming to DC in a month and a half!

  164. Little Guy
    September 2nd, 2011 at 2:33 pm [Reply]

    FW/S-M: Beanball by SERRA CARSON!

  165. Baka Gaijin
    September 2nd, 2011 at 2:34 pm [Reply]

    BURN! Crystal just totally dissed Knute Lazy, Last-Minute Junk‘s penis!

    “Dennis honey, the doctor gave you only one lollipop because you have only one piehole. Now shut it.”

    After a plugger’s bowling alley replaced the paper scoring sheet…everyone found out he’s a bald-faced liar, unless he’s a giant cat, who’s a bewhiskered-faced liar.

  166. Brent
    September 2nd, 2011 at 2:35 pm [Reply]

    A S-M: Peter is learning the downside of marrying a red-head. Upside – Sex: unbelievable. Downside – Jealousy: even more intense than the sex.

  167. Little Guy
    September 2nd, 2011 at 2:39 pm [Reply]

    Doonesbury: Between the “Stone Soup” hack of FOOBville, Les “Cancer’s Cancer” Foulball, and “I Fell Off a Building in NYC and My Wife Has Nice Jubbles”, by Da Judge, it looks like the exploits of the Red Rascal may hit the Kindle Kult and iReads. Maybe even a printed page here and there.

  168. LeastCommonDenominator
    September 2nd, 2011 at 2:40 pm [Reply]

    I love a nice Serra Li pownd kayk.

  169. Baka Gaijin
    September 2nd, 2011 at 2:42 pm [Reply]

    If this isn’t the stupidest longer-than-short con I’ve ever seen then I’m not reading today’s Mary Worth.

  170. Baka Gaijin
    September 2nd, 2011 at 2:45 pm [Reply]

    @Little Guy (#167): I’d buy a Red Rascal book. Dimbulb Redfearn may not be able to keep a job but he can keep up an entertaining storyline.

  171. Austria
    September 2nd, 2011 at 2:45 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#132): I would just like to point out that there is a copy of Magical Love Gentlemen under Marigold’s bed in today’s QC.

    FW: dohohohohohohohoho. Beautiful.

    HtH: My neighbors back home do this. No lie.

    Luann: Leaves Evans out, too.
    *ba-dum TSSH*
    No but seriously maybe the video is good. I haven’t even watched it. The joke was just too easy.

    MW: I kind of reeled back in horror at that first panel. She looka likea man.

    MT: Mark works for an outdoor magazine? I’ve been reading this strip for YEARS and never knew that. What the heck.

    PBS: Okay, I laughed. The soccer ball makes it.

    And now for a story. (Read: me ranting about cartoonists and their Kids These Days mentality.) A few weeks back I saw a political cartoon in our local deadtree, I think by the person that does Dustin. The art looked similar even though I’ve only ever seen one or two Dustins in my lifetime. In the first panel, the teacher wrote “Welcome back to school, students!” or something like that and the kids all stared at her quizically. Then she rewrote it in obnoxious Internet shorthand saying they always had to “wean them back in.” I made the most disgusted noise and facepalmed, because number one, I REALLY enjoy the implication that none of us can read real words, and number two, NOBODY TEXTS LIKE THAT. NOBODY, except for 12-year-olds that think they’re being hip, and the rest of us when we’re deliberately trying to be obnoxious or sarcastic.
    A few days ago I was walking through the hall in one of the academic buildings when I noticed comics on a door, and I had to stop and look. Lo and behold, there that strip was.
    I don’t want to live on this planet anymore

  172. Chip Whittle
    September 2nd, 2011 at 2:51 pm [Reply]

    @Austria (#171):

    MT: Mark works for an outdoor magazine? I’ve been reading this strip for YEARS and never knew that. What the heck.

    I was shocked when I learned that too. I always figured Mark Trail was some kind of freelance forest ranger, which doesn’t make any sense but is a lot more plausible than thinking he works for a magazine.

    I suppose Mark Trail could have a job at The Electric Company, given his skills at emphasizing words regardless of context. The bolded words could be the ones with pronunciation or grammar points worthy of study. Except The Electric Company tried to have characters speak the way real actual people speak, so I guess that’s out.

  173. Shrug
    September 2nd, 2011 at 2:54 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#116):

    “S-M — How does the BUGLE keep going, financially?”

    Their parent company also owns the apparently wildly successful WOODS AND WILDLIFE magazine, and when W&W can’t blow enough expense account money on banded goose investigation stories, they throw some BUBLE-wards.

  174. Shrug
    September 2nd, 2011 at 2:55 pm [Reply]

    @The Gringo Kid (#92):

    “Sally 4th: 1-2-3-4! … Gabba gabba hey!”

    “What are we fighting for? / Don’t ask me I don’t give a damn / The next stop is Vietnam….”

  175. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    September 2nd, 2011 at 2:56 pm [Reply]

    @Austria (#171): I noticed that touch as well. QC rocks.

    I’m still cogitating on newMomo/Hanners possibilities.

  176. bats :[
    September 2nd, 2011 at 2:59 pm [Reply]

    Just in case folks are on the move this weekend and don’t have much time to spend lolling over the comics…

  177. Ned Ryerson
    September 2nd, 2011 at 3:06 pm [Reply]

    A3G: Scrubbing? What’s to scrub? You collect all the empties, bag the trash, fold up the tables and chairs and you’re done. (Maybe there are chafing dishes full of Gramma Rose’s pierogies that nobody ever touches. That’s no bargain.)

    Remember that door back at the apartment house that Ruby was giving “a good scrubbing”? I think scrubbing is code for something in the A3Giverse.

    @bats :[ (#176): Oooo, Ollie Williams cameo. Nice!

  178. Swordsmith
    September 2nd, 2011 at 3:08 pm [Reply]

    MW: See, the point of witness protection is to prevent the criminals from taking revenge on you or using you to send a message to other potential informants. So getting back in contact with your former life is potentially a death sentence for you and for anyone around you. But now I’m dead, and your father is dead, so neither of us have anything to fear. Please get back in touch with that boy you knew when you were 14, so the mob will kill you. I”m sorry I couldn’t do it myself but I figured I might get caught and I’m too pretty to go to prison.

  179. The Gringo Kid
    September 2nd, 2011 at 3:08 pm [Reply]

    @Écureuil Écumant (#163): That calls for an 8-piece box!

  180. The Gringo Kid
    September 2nd, 2011 at 3:12 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug (#174): I like me some Country Joe, but the reference was actually to the Ramones! Now there’s a couple of acts you’d never think of sharing a stage …

  181. Dr. Weird
    September 2nd, 2011 at 3:23 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#142):

    Behold, the sexy teenage girl superhero version of Mike Rowe! http://www.darkhorse.com/Books/Previews/16-360?page=1 (SFW)

  182. Rocky Stoneaxe
    September 2nd, 2011 at 3:33 pm [Reply]

    Before Serra Carson transferred her affections to Spider-Man, she was enamored of Superman — even to the point of dressing up as her favorite super-hero:

    http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/hs919.snc4/73252_1606198004608_1525909685_1459816_2466244_n.jpg

    (Shouldn’t “Batman” be the one wearing a mask?)

  183. Katy
    September 2nd, 2011 at 3:34 pm [Reply]

    @The Gringo Kid (#180): And it’s five, six, seven, open up those pearly gates! ba-ba-bowbow, ba-ba-ba-bowbow, I wanna be sedated.

    Thanks for the double earworm.

  184. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    September 2nd, 2011 at 3:34 pm [Reply]

  185. littlestevie
    September 2nd, 2011 at 3:38 pm [Reply]

    JP:”Sam, you remember Gary. He’s the guy that made Sultan look like a gherkin. Not that I’m making any comparisons or anything. Oh, Sam look! there’s a Subway over there! I’ve got a sudden urge for a footlong.”

  186. The Gringo Kid
    September 2nd, 2011 at 3:56 pm [Reply]

    @Katy (#183): That’s some mashup.

  187. littlestevie
    September 2nd, 2011 at 4:03 pm [Reply]

    RMMD: Oh and by the by when is June going to get into her bikini and cruise around on the boat that Rex fleeced off of Berna’s brother. The way this plot is moving, it will be January before the boat gets on the lake.

  188. tb4000
    September 2nd, 2011 at 4:10 pm [Reply]

    Curtis: You moron, as a self aware comic strip character you should fully know by now that saying shit like that always ends up jinxing the whole plan.

  189. This Guy
    September 2nd, 2011 at 4:12 pm [Reply]

    @Austria (#171): Speaking of today’s QC: the new OTP emerges!

  190. The Ghost of Jarrod
    September 2nd, 2011 at 4:26 pm [Reply]

    @Austria (#171):

    The irony is that studies have repeatedly shown that texting improves both reading comprehension and writing ability. It turns out that writing and reading consistently — even things that are not grammatically correct — improves those skills. Kind of like you’d expect them to, actually.

    I never understand this attitude, frankly. I remember being a young adult; I knew better than to use profanity or slang in an essay, because I wasn’t a complete buffoon. The young adults I know today are smarter and more together than I was; I assume they aren’t buffoons either.

  191. The Ghost of Jarrod
    September 2nd, 2011 at 4:30 pm [Reply]

    As to everyone expecting that Batiuk will wring the maximum pathos out of Les’s experience with gross violations of the laws of physics: of course he will. I’m sure this will be just weeks and weeks of Les’s suffering, Les’s pain, Les’s rehabilitation. And blame, blame, blame for Cayla, who is nowhere near as good as Dead Lisa.

    But that’s tomorrow. For today, let us just enjoy the sight of Les being grievously injured. For if Les Moore’s pain can’t bring us joy, what can?

  192. Mibbitmaker
    September 2nd, 2011 at 4:35 pm [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#91): ……Anybody……..?

    Starting simple… Webcomics Nation or WordPress/ComicPress?

  193. ArchieNemesis
    September 2nd, 2011 at 4:40 pm [Reply]

    @Chip Whittle (#172): I knew Mark Trail was a journalist, but why have we never seen an
    image of him sitting at a keyboard, typing a story? Is Cherry secretly knocking out
    made-up articles on a manual typewriter back at the cabin, to cover for Mark’s illiteracy?

    I even searched for images of Mark doing anything remotely like writing a story, and found none, but I did find a great drawing of him knocking a guy out, in a swamp, then snapping the chains on a raccoon that was apparently being forced to participate in gladiatorial log-rolling with other raccoons. This is the reason I can’t stay mad at you, Jack Elrod.

  194. Marc
    September 2nd, 2011 at 4:44 pm [Reply]

    @Wally Winkerbean (#157): Not sure I follow your meaning

  195. The Gringo Kid
    September 2nd, 2011 at 4:47 pm [Reply]

    @ArchieNemesis (#193): Calling Mark Trail a journalist is like calling Les Moore an author. Or like calling a LOL cat sitting on a piano keyboard Mozart.

  196. The Gringo Kid
    September 2nd, 2011 at 4:48 pm [Reply]

    @ArchieNemesis (#193): Also, when Mark Trail meets a keyboard, he punches it.

  197. The Gringo Kid
    September 2nd, 2011 at 4:51 pm [Reply]

    @Marc (#194): The reference is to Crazy Harry, I believe, making Funky the only comic endeavor in which “going postal” makes you the most sane, well-balanced person in town.

  198. The Gringo Kid
    September 2nd, 2011 at 4:53 pm [Reply]

    *crickets *
    Wow, it’s gotten quiet in here. Must be a holiday weekend or something.

  199. Daniel
    September 2nd, 2011 at 4:55 pm [Reply]

    Spiderman Obviously, MJ is moonlighting at Warhol’s Factory, or maybe Hockney or modeling for Roy Lichtenstein…

  200. Droopy Says
    September 2nd, 2011 at 4:55 pm [Reply]

    The Amusing Spiderman: I see a spider. I see a newspaper. WHERE IS GARFIELD WHEN WE NEED HIM?

    EffYou WankerBeat: Will Les piss himself for real this time?

  201. Liam
    September 2nd, 2011 at 5:00 pm [Reply]

    Six Chix-The funeral home has a special. Bury six husbands bury your seventh husband for free.

  202. Liam
    September 2nd, 2011 at 5:01 pm [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#200): I am hoping when he is struck unconscious that he shits himself.

  203. commodorejohn
    September 2nd, 2011 at 5:17 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#136): …my God. “Woman Is” = Devo – talent – any hint of irony or self-awareness. And Jesus H. Christ, Greg, your video’s “animation” is put to shame by things bats :[ or Dean Booth or Dingo have done in the space of an afternoon!

    Still, at the very least, Greg Evans never fails to make me, in my minor musical endeavors, feel like Keith fucking Emerson.

  204. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    September 2nd, 2011 at 5:22 pm [Reply]

    @The Gringo Kid (#198): let the Wild Rumpus commence!

    mmm, grigio.

  205. The Gringo Kid
    September 2nd, 2011 at 5:23 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#203): Welcome back, my friends, to the strip that does offend …

  206. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    September 2nd, 2011 at 5:24 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#203): I tried to warn you. truly I did. I managed about a minutes worth, and ran screaming for Billy and Boingers to clear my head. TJ talking about women was beyond creepy.

  207. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    September 2nd, 2011 at 5:26 pm [Reply]

    @The Gringo Kid (#205): be careful as you glance, the writer is an ass, move along, move along.

  208. The Gringo Kid
    September 2nd, 2011 at 5:26 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#204):
    / Pops open an icy cold Sam Adams Octoberfest
    Only 26 1/2 hours til the LSU-Oregon kickoff! It’s football season again!

  209. The Gringo Kid
    September 2nd, 2011 at 5:28 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#207): Thank you. I just executed a classic spit-take all over my keyboard.

  210. commodorejohn
    September 2nd, 2011 at 5:30 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#206): Most perfectly horrifying line: “A woman is a sports car – she won’t yield.”

  211. The Gringo Kid
    September 2nd, 2011 at 5:32 pm [Reply]

    BTW, this long, leisurely weekend is a perfect time for all Mudges to migrate over to the AV Club and comment on their “Newspaper Comics” primer:

    http://www.avclub.com/articles/newspaper-comics,61171/

  212. The Gringo Kid
    September 2nd, 2011 at 5:33 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#210): Obviously, he has never heard “Little Red Corvette.”

  213. Swordsmith
    September 2nd, 2011 at 5:36 pm [Reply]

    @The Gringo Kid (#212): Baby, you ain’t got enough gas.

    Man that Prince could wring the hell out of a metaphor back in the day.

  214. Rocky Stoneaxe
    September 2nd, 2011 at 5:40 pm [Reply]

    @ArchieNemesis(#193):

    This newspaper article (from 1996!) confirms that Mark Trail has never been within hailing distance of a typewriter:

    http://www.southcoasttoday.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/19960618/LIFE/306189940&emailAFriend=1

    Interestingly enough, there’s a “Gene Lancaster Typewriter Service”
    located at 3939 Mark Trail in Gainesville, Georgia!

  215. The Gringo Kid
    September 2nd, 2011 at 5:40 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#203): Jesus, now why did I have to go and check it out?!
    I found it less “Devo minus talent minus etc.” than “Black Flag circa ‘TV Party’ minues every drop of testosterone in their bodies.”

  216. The Gringo Kid
    September 2nd, 2011 at 5:43 pm [Reply]

    @Swordsmith (#213):

    “This is what it sounds like / when doves die”
    Man, who knew that Prince in 1984 could peer into the future to see a Greg Evans YouTube video?

  217. forgot
    September 2nd, 2011 at 5:51 pm [Reply]

    cayla crushes les’ eye with baseball les goes to hospital where doctor finds brain cancer

  218. The Gringo Kid
    September 2nd, 2011 at 5:52 pm [Reply]

    @forgot (#217): They would first have to find a brain. Prognosis: Negative!

  219. debussy fields
    September 2nd, 2011 at 5:53 pm [Reply]

    FC– “You can have one if you want, Jeffy. After all, your father wore one until he was well into his thirties when the guys at the club finally teased him into going without.”

  220. forgot
    September 2nd, 2011 at 5:55 pm [Reply]

    did cayla do that on purpose? was she feeling some hostility?

  221. Mars
    September 2nd, 2011 at 5:55 pm [Reply]

    Panel one is notable in that the artist actually takes seriously the notion that MJ is toddling around the apartment wearing spiked heels and skin-tight capri pants, and took the time contemplate how a person so dressed might bend down to pick something up off the floor. (The answer: very carefully.)

    Welcome to superhero comics, Josh. This is actually far below the slutty normal for a woman.

  222. Mr. O'Malley
    September 2nd, 2011 at 6:11 pm [Reply]

    6C: The singer who can’t be named without paying a nickel continues his comic strip soundtracks with “Me and Henry VIII”. Sorry, I can’t link to it directly, you’ll have to search the page.

  223. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    September 2nd, 2011 at 6:34 pm [Reply]

    new thread alert.

  224. Little Teapot
    September 2nd, 2011 at 7:56 pm [Reply]

    @forgot (#220): Oh, I hope so! I used to like Cayla.

    Maybe two or fifteen relatives took her aside for a little talk. And then they all agreed to get up a softball game…..

  225. Just some guy
    September 2nd, 2011 at 11:52 pm [Reply]

    Is that Jamaal making an appearance in Crankshaft?

  226. Edgy DC
    September 3rd, 2011 at 12:15 am [Reply]

    Gracious, look at the other mourners. Maybe we should just change the name of Six Chix to Six Missing Limbs — which would be a change from the usual Six Shitty Artists.

  227. GalacticYoyo
    September 3rd, 2011 at 12:46 am [Reply]

    It seems like every other comic, Spiderman is getting blamed for committing some crime. It’s to the point where I really don’t think the newspaper could be wrong this often. I think they’re onto his clever little scheme- pretend to be a hero and no one will notice when you help yourself to their valuables. That’s why he never fights villains- that’s not what he’s here for.
    “Oh, Spiderman, thank you for stopping that young ruffian from stealing my purse- oh, he’s gone. …Hey, were’d it go?”

  228. Carly
    September 3rd, 2011 at 3:40 am [Reply]

    I dunno, I have this sneaking suspicion that the Spider-Man plot is going to somehow turn into Serra having an evil imposter and that’s what Peter’s look of shock means. I don’t know why he cares, though; by the time he gets his ass to the office, the real Serra will have tied up the fake Serra and called the police or something.

  229. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    September 3rd, 2011 at 2:57 pm [Reply]

    @Comcis Fan (#85): That’s why the time-jump happened. Older Cayla went back in time to try to prevent herself from becoming involved with Les, and the two Caylas accidentally got swapped. Now they are trapped in a temporal loop, doomed to orbit Les forever.

  230. Xanadude
    September 3rd, 2011 at 3:27 pm [Reply]

    I’d be less concerned with the Daily Bugle’s Spider-Man coverage and more concerned about the KKK shout out in the front page photo, Peter.

  231. greghousesgf
    September 3rd, 2011 at 4:28 pm [Reply]

    @Chip Whittle (#172): I assume you mean the original Electric Company with Morgan Freeman and Rita Moreno, not the god awful current thing my friend’s kid watches.

  232. Espon
    September 3rd, 2011 at 6:51 pm [Reply]

    I couldn’t put my finger on it until now, but Peter Parker looks an awful lot like Edward Cullen from Twilight. No wonder he’s such an insufferable ninny.

  233. Anonymous
    September 4th, 2011 at 1:31 am [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#91):

    Sailor Twain uses WordPress with ComicPress.

  234. Anonymous
    September 4th, 2011 at 1:34 am [Reply]

    I refuse to believe that Mudhen Maldubh has made an ash of herself.

  235. Elk Meadow
    September 4th, 2011 at 1:35 am [Reply]

    Aw, crap. I’m Anonymous at #233 AND 234. Preview. It’s your friend, not your eyeglasses.

  236. Roktober
    September 7th, 2011 at 5:11 pm [Reply]

    “I liked what I saw out there…And what I saw was you failing. As a resident of the Funky Winkerverse that is the thing I like to see best. People I love failing.”

  237. Jodi
    October 17th, 2011 at 1:20 am [Reply]

    Way to go on this essay, hpeled a ton.

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