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Dennis the Menace, 6/4/23

Part of my whole shtick on this blog is making fun of comics that just do the same jokes over and over, which itself has become repetitive, so I guess I should cautiously give Dennis the Menace credit for trying something new today, though I’m not sure if having an ill-tempered little spat with a kid on an opposing baseball team really counts as “menacing.” Honestly it’s a lot more menacing that CJ’s dog and father-coach just kind of manifest themselves out of thin air on second base in the middle of play. Also, are we supposed to take from the final panel that Dennis’s team is being coached by Henry? If so, I think it’s a funny choice to not even show him, so we can imagine him looking genuinely hurt and saying “Hey, CJ, hey … that’s not cool, man. Come on.”

Marvin, 6/4/23

Similarly, I’ll give Marvin credit from taking a day from its primary obsession (pooping) and instead dwelling on a secondary obsession (the “family” in Marvin & Family is a complex web of relationships, many of which border on outright hatred).

Dick Tracy, 6/4/23

Sprocket Nitrate was introduced in this strip way back in 2014, and her shoelessness was part of her whole deal as a dirty hippie. That was a long time ago, and now it’s the year 2023, when you can absolutely just put things in the comics pages for people who like foot stuff, so now she’s cleaned up her act a bit and being barefoot is itself her whole deal, as we’ll be shown in multiple panels per strip. Anyway, I’m glad that today’s strip also caters to my particular sicko fetish (clean, efficient intercity passenger rail travel).

Six Chix, 6/4/23

I gotta say, in the category of truly deranged Six Chix strips, this is one that I liked. That lady’s friend succumbed to Birkenstocks! She succumbed to Birkenstocks and she fuckin’ died, it’s very funny to me.

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Six Chix, 5/24/23

Six Chix is a long-running feature that dares to ask the question, “What if women wrote a comic strip? What would we learn about the female sex in the process?” I think we can agree that the answer, if we’re just going by the content of Six Chix, is that women are floridly insane, but you have to admit that they’re more interesting than men, who are just annoying and boring.

Gil Thorp, 5/24/23

One of my tasks as the creator of a blog about newspaper comics, the most nostalgia-infected art form ever created, is to fight against the particularly pernicious type of nostalgia that leads people to say that the past is always better than the present. Like, for instance, longtime Thorp-heads probably would smugly say that, in terms of unpaid randos who helped coach the Mudlark baseball team, it wouldn’t get any funnier than a guy who called himself Clambake and lied about being in the Negro Leagues. And yet today, in this supposedly fallen year 2023, we have a blind guy urging two blindfolded teenagers to hurl baseballs in his general direction, simultaneously! Truly, I tell you that we still live in an age of wonders.

Hi and Lois, 5/24/23

I know the media landscape is troubled and subject to ongoing corporate consolidation, but I don’t know that teasing the idea of an incredible crossover between Spider-Man and his Avengers Pals with the Walker-Browne Extended Universe is the best way for King Features Syndicate parent company Hearst Communications to solicit a takeover bid from the Walt Disney Company.

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Six Chix, 5/11/23

So the thing about “sudden,” as a noun, is that it has completely fallen out of use in English outside the set phrase “all of a sudden,” and even when it was in use there wasn’t any particularly strong syntactical or grammatical reason why it took an indefinite article in that phrase rather than a definite one, so it’s pretty natural for modern-day speakers to start reanalyzing and rearranging the phrase, and as long as people know what you mean it’s hard to say you’re doing it “wrong.” Still, some people care a lot about being right in linguistic matters; I found this out the hard way when I got into a discussion on the comments of this very blog in which I pointed out that “none” is not a contraction for “not one” and has always been used in both the singular and plural, with recorded uses of “none are” going back to Chaucer, and this caused one commenter to melt down at me and then quit the site altogether. I have my own odd things I’m overly attached to, of course, but at least none of them have me visualizing myself as an angry pulsing green blob holding the line against a bunch of purple blobs that look pretty chill, honestly.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 5/11/23

Now I’m imagining the elaborate beehive coif Snuffy had to create to fit his new hair under his hat so that nobody could catch even a glimpse of it while he dashed from his home to this cave, presumably so he wasn’t immediately burned at the stake for engaging in witchcraft. Granny Creeps is powerful enough, or helps enough leading citizens of the Holler with her potions, to avoid that fate herself, but a local layabout and troublemaker like Snuffy is the sort of person who might be made an example of.

Mary Worth, 5/11/23

There’s not a lot about Dr. Jeff I find particularly worthy of praise or envy, but despite being a core Mary Worth character he seems to not put a ton of effort into keeping up with Wilbur’s sex life, and you have to respect that.