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Blondie, 6/18/26

When Blondie started a business, back in 1991, it might’ve presented the strip with an opportunity to step beyond the tired food-mania cliches it had been orbiting around for decades. Unfortunately the business she started was a catering company, and most of the jokes it generated are about various customers coming in and making terrible food puns based on whatever their forced-zany shtick is. Anyway, today’s strip is notably sad because I’m reasonably sure Blondie’s “Do you happen to be marketing executives?” line is meant to be complimentary.

Six Chix, 6/18/26

The “mainstream media” won’t cover it, but the giant bug-things are coming and they will kill us all if we don’t prepare for all-out war against them. The gang at Six Chix has been trying to raise the alarm, and I just hope it’s not too late!

Rex Morgan, M.D., 6/18/26

“It’s sure better than the piece of shit cafe where I work. The food there’s barely edible. You can put that in your report if you want!”

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Mary Worth, 6/13/26

Dawn’s never alone because of her friends! You know, like Cathy, who’s always eating giant salads, and other Cathy, who Dawn probably drifted away from because she didn’t “get” Dawn’s weird and possibly sexual relationship with her art history professor, and her terrible ex-boyfriend Jared, who dumped her and then bullied her into being friends with him so he could feel OK about getting together with the girl he dumped her for, and … uh, I think that’s it. Well, there’s Mary, I guess. She’s sort of a friend. And Tommy! Over the course of the day they’ve at least become friendly. That’s close enough, right?

Mother Goose and Grimm, 6/13/26

The good news is that Ma Goose is now reciting her tepid jokes at some random character we’ve never seen before instead of just saying them into the phone. The bad news is that she looks terrible. I think she might be dying?

Six Chix, 6/13/26

Hey, wouldn’t it be interesting if your dog were chased by some kind of giant, nightmarish bug creature? Have a fun weekend, everybody!

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Heathcliff, 5/26/26

When Jewish theologians began to systematize the ideas they had inherited around the spiritual beings we call “angels,” one awkward question they had to answer was where they came from and how more of them could come into existence. While the Enochian literature interpreted the “nephilim” of Genesis 6 as the offspring that resulted from angels lusting after human women, and there was a potential memory of the Holy of Holies including a depiction of cherubim locked in erotic embrace, the rabbinic tradition ultimately rejected these interpretations, seeing the “Sons of God” who sired the Nephilim as noble humans and the art of the Ark representing the union between God and His people. They concluded that angels did not reproduce amongst themselves, but were directly and individually created by God; some of the minor angelic ranks were, based on a verse in Lamentations, believed to have been created fresh by God at the beginning of each day and extinguished at the end of it, while the cherubim and important named angels like Michael and Gabriel were permanent.

But of course, we cannot know how much of this thinking applies to Heathcliff’s cherubim, though we do know that, by some mechanism, their number is increasing. Does our boy Heathcliff create them at his whim and similarly banish them to nonexistence when he tires of them? Or are they sexual entities, like their notoriously horny creator?

Beetle Bailey, 5/26/26

So I looked it up and it turns out that modern tanks take at least three soldiers to properly operate, which leaves me wondering who’s inside that stalled out tank ready to annihilate this lady at point-blank range if she refuses to go along with the Camp Swampy gang’s demands. I’m thinking Zero would be unthinking enough to follow an order to fire and Plato would be coldly rational enough to issue one in the face of necessity. Beetle is, typically, doing the least work here, but doesn’t feel great about it.

Six Chix, 5/26/26

Hey, do you think newspaper comics are for old people? Well, Six Chix is here to prove you wrong, hiring cutting-edge millennial cartoonists to draw panels about … listening to boomer hero Bruce Springsteen’s iconic 1984 album Born In The USA? Hmm. Hmm! At least she’s weeping openly listening to it rather than jamming out, that’s … that’s innovative, right?