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Dennis the Menace, 10/21/18

But you couldn’t even follow through with that, could you, Mr. Wilson? You couldn’t just let him get bored and wander off. You had to argue with him from a second story window, at great length. You’re entirely complicit in this thoroughly dysfunctional relationship, sir.

Six Chix, 10/21/18

Six Chix is continuing on with its anti-bullying crusade, but I don’t think today’s lesson — “if you’re being bullied, console yourself with the thought that you’re too disgusting to be killed and eaten the way your delicious tormenters inevitably will be” — is really in the spirit of Unity Day.

Spider-Man, 10/21/18

Man, I know I make fun of Spider-Man’s general uselessness on this blog a lot, but it’s kind of shocking that it’s now explicit canon that you too can be as super-powered as he is, just by working out with Steve down at LA Fitness a couple times a week.

Panel from The Lockhorns, 10/21/18

Look at Leroy and Loretta’s expressions here. Do they look like people engaging in a little light banter? Nope. Leroy definitely tried to fuck those pies, right there in the frozen food aisle.

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Six Chix, 10/19/18

Without any aid or context, what do you think is happening in this cartoon, in which a devil and angel argue over whether an email (?) should be sent, with the “pro” argument being that the potential sender is bad and the “con” argument being that the recipient is good? Would you guess it’s about … cyberbullying? It is, because “Unity Day” is the signature event of National Bullying Prevention Month, and you can sort of work your way backwards to see what’s going on, but I think the whole to-do relies on the idea that bullies do their thing because of some innate sense of worthlessness, and while that may be true at some base level, I don’t think it’s the immediate motivation for individual acts of social cyber-aggression. Anyway, I guess this strip did its job in the sense that it was baffling enough to get me to look up what the hell “Unity Day” is, but that also led me to the sad discovery that nobody updated the Unity Day Wikipedia article with 2017’s events. Is it even happening this year? I’d do more work to find out, but I’m afraid someone might make fun of me.

Pluggers, 10/19/18

This failing car is doing its best to protect this plugger’s failing body. But the heart wants what it wants (specifically in this case, it wants to get clogged up with grease until it stops beating, forever).

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Six Chix, 10/16/18

I’m not, like, an expert on the physics of golf or anything, but … the way you’d sort of expect this to go, based on her description, is that she’d hit the ball and it would land on the green and hit and kill a bird on its way down, right? So the bird would be also on the green, hundreds of yards away. Not just dead right in front of her. I mean, if she hit the ball into a bird right off the tee, there’s no way it could have travelled so far away as we see here. So I’m guessing she just, like, killed the bird with her club. And then said this dialogue in a flat, affectless voice while she looked down at its corpse. You notice how she’s golfing alone? There’s a reason she’s golfing alone.

Dennis the Menace, 10/16/18

Ha ha, it’s funny because it doesn’t. Henry is infested with vermin!