Archive: Six Chix

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Gil Thorp, 6/12/18

If there’s one thing Gil Thorp is committed to, it’s the lore, so yeah, I guarantee there was a Gil Thorp plot years back about a star baseball prospect who accidentally lost a finger or three to a grain thresher, and I’m devastated that I missed it. Mostly what I love here is how completely Kevin Pelwecki, a delusional quarterback wannabe who, thanks to obsessively watching YouTube videos, has turned out to be Actually Good at baseball, takes this information in stride. A baseball player with a mutilated hand? A football player who accidentally cut off his leg with a chainsaw? It’s all par for the course around the Milford athletic department!

Six Chix, 6/12/18

So, imagine you have a dog holding other dogs at gunpoint yelling “DROP THE BONES!” Would it be funny? No, not at all. Would you at least be able to parse what’s happening? Yes, for the most part. Now, imagine that the “gun” is drawn so that it might not be a gun, but it still looks kind of like one, and the gun(?)-weilding dog also makes a reference to an “app” of some sort. Would you be able to parse that? Not anymore! But would it be funny now? Not really! Anyway, you don’t have to imagine all this, because it just got printed across America, in several newspapers!

Shoe, 6/12/18

The Tip O’Neil-esque bird-senator in Shoe is named Batson Belfrey (it’s wordplay, get it????) and I guess the bat logo on the front of his podium is part of a personal branding effort. I’d like to imagine that today’s somewhat labored punchline is a result of a new Shoe intern being told to write dialogue for a pre-drawn strip without really being given any background, and they saw the bat and thought, “Well, is he … goth? I guess he’s a goth senator? And goths like the Addams Family, right?”

Hi and Lois, 6/12/18

The two garbage men looked at each other in mounting horror. Irma had worn them down over the period of months, with both carrots and sticks they wouldn’t talk about, even to each other, until they said they’d take her husband’s body to the dump. But when the agreed day arrived, it wasn’t what they had signed up for at all. He was still alive. But they were in too deep now. They had no choice.

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Gasoline Alley, 6/8/18

So it’s been, what, a month, and Slim still hasn’t received the medical care he needs for his concussion! However, his doctor is telling him, in confidence, something extremely important: what he thought of all these years as his “wife” is actually an incredibly lifelike android, a soulless machine designed to study him and send back reports on his weaknesses to its unknown and terrible master.

Six Chix, 6/8/18

I’m not sure if these “scandals” are supposed to be about The Politics or The Celebs or what — honestly, it doesn’t really make much difference! You could use this comic in literally any cultural environment! I just love these characters’ facial expressions, genuinely and unironically. They really look worried!

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Mark Trail, 5/13/18

What a difference a decade makes, eh? Back in 2007, Mark was happy to describe vicious, mindless elephants terrorizing hapless humans in their insatiable quest for yams. But now we learn that they’re intelligent and social beings — which of course makes them all the more dangerous. Their highly complex neocortex is perfect for formulating plots against us. Their loyalty to their close knit families provides many motives for vengeance, and their ability to distinguish between humans means they can track down and trample their specific individual enemies. Can nothing save us from their strategically planned rampages????

Six Chix, 5/13/18