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Also, if any of them are smiling, that’s just a clever disguise

Dick Tracy, 1/17/12

Hey, everybody, the Dick Tracy gang is on the case, going undercover in a hip (?) nightclub to track down an actual gang, of the drug-smuggling variety, who something something son of old friend of Dick yadda yadda guy named Cueball blah blah cocaine hidden in instrument cases. (Hint to the cops: There are two Cueballs, or Cueball has a twin, or something!) Anyhoo, I mainly want to bring your attention to the little explanatory label in the first panel. Normally these kinds of boxes-with-arrows in Dick Tracy are used to identify bits of improbable high-tech crime-fighting gear, but today’s example mostly seems to be all about assuring us that our law enforcement officers aren’t having even the slightest bit of fun on their mission, so please let’s not have Internal Affairs auditing our expenses, please.

Luann, 1/17/12

Oh snap Ann Eiffel just outed TJ! Or maybe she just intended to insult him in a somewhat homophobic and mildly actionable manner? Either way, even though we’re only like two days into it, I think Ann vs. TJ is going to be less fun than I’d hoped, like everything else that ever happened in Luann ever.

281 responses to “Also, if any of them are smiling, that’s just a clever disguise”

  1. Rocky Stoneaxe
    January 17th, 2012 at 8:23 am [Reply]

    Henry — Planking 1940s style!

    Pluggers — I call shenanigans. A Plugger won’t even bend over to tie his shoes!

  2. Captain Plaid Pants
    January 17th, 2012 at 8:30 am [Reply]

    Hail Mary Worth, Full of Grace, The Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now, and at the hour of death. Amen.

    (Too much?)

  3. Lolsworth
    January 17th, 2012 at 8:35 am [Reply]

    She’s just pointing out his own Freudian slip. “The exact opposite of me is a man, dipwad.”

  4. Rocky Stoneaxe
    January 17th, 2012 at 8:38 am [Reply]

    Cueball’s liquor license hasn’t been approved yet — which is why he’s drinking “pop” and the ladies are drinking club soda.

  5. pugfuggly
    January 17th, 2012 at 8:39 am [Reply]

    DT Wow, look at all the ‘Club Soda’ and ‘Pop’. This must be the Hippest Club of Latter-day Saints…

    LuannWow, they’re still on this TJ and Ann Eiffel plotline? I can’t wait to see what might happen ne-zzzzzzzzzz……….

    A3G “You’re taking this news better than I had hoped!”

    “I know! If I was a more interesting person, me finding out you are my real mother might lead to a bit of conflict, followed by some complications, and maybe even a crisis. Thank god we can skip and that and just talk about stuff.”

    MT Well Mark, you might have let your readers down when you didn’t write that ‘Old Religious Lady Bands Birds with Gold’ story, but you’ll blow them away with your ‘Blind Hunting Dog can still kinda Hunt’ expose!

    MW Funny, isn’t it? They’re the ones of the rolling ocean and yet I’m the one who wants to throw up….

  6. Rocky Stoneaxe
    January 17th, 2012 at 8:44 am [Reply]

    Spoiler warning: the Cueball in the suit and bow tie is actually Putty Puss!

  7. Mibbitmaker
    January 17th, 2012 at 8:51 am [Reply]

    DICK TRACY. Brought to you by the Club Soda Council.

  8. Mibbitmaker
    January 17th, 2012 at 8:52 am [Reply]

    Crap! Should be…

    DICK TRACY. Brought to you by the Club Soda Council.

  9. tb4000
    January 17th, 2012 at 8:53 am [Reply]

    9CL: Edda in that last panel reminds me of the typical expression/pose Betty and Veronica would get in Archie Comics whenever someone would say something stupid while they were inexplicably at the beach.

  10. Mibbitmaker
    January 17th, 2012 at 8:55 am [Reply]

    DT: The name of the night club they’re at? Why, The Club Soda, of course!

  11. Jocelyn Knockersbury
    January 17th, 2012 at 8:57 am [Reply]

    Today’s Lesson: Evildoers drink Pop Brand ™ soda-pop type drink beverage.

  12. gleeb
    January 17th, 2012 at 8:58 am [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#8): …and Pop Drinkers like You.

  13. sporknpork
    January 17th, 2012 at 8:59 am [Reply]

    TJ never closes his mouth. Ever. The only thing keeping him from sucking up bugs and other airborne particulates into his throat are his stainless steel retractable teeth plates. Take that, George Washington!

  14. Jocelyn Knockersbury
    January 17th, 2012 at 9:00 am [Reply]

    Luann: Apparently the Luann “joke” (in huge, blinking neon sarcasm quotes) is that the exact opposite of what’s-’er-name would be a male. That the joke is so weak is accidentally becomes homophobic is the kind of high class shit we’ve come to expect from Luann.

  15. Paul (pink)
    January 17th, 2012 at 9:06 am [Reply]

    In luann i like the 1980s michael jackson hair thing going on….. So 80s.

  16. Paul (pink)
    January 17th, 2012 at 9:08 am [Reply]

    In dt…. Did the big lug hit his head on the door? What’s the think next to his head mean? Is his head exploding?

  17. Dagger
    January 17th, 2012 at 9:13 am [Reply]

    The agents have unwittingly ordered the club’s specialty, the “club soda.” It has a 40 percent alcohol content. No wonder they’re seeing double.

  18. Doctor Handsome
    January 17th, 2012 at 9:21 am [Reply]

    At first I assumed that was just a cartoon gleam coming off of Cueball’s shiny pate. Then it appeared on the exact same spot while he was mostly in shadow, leading me to believe that it’s actually some sort of fucked-up spiny tumor growing out of his dome. Which is kind of a relief, since “bald with a possible doppelganger” just doesn’t cut it as a Dick Tracy villain deformity.

  19. hogenmogen
    January 17th, 2012 at 9:22 am [Reply]

    “He sounds boring.” Obviously, she refers to Brad. Oh, Brad, the boring dude they both have the hots for. Eiffel summoned The Teej to her office to plan a strategy on how to separate Boring Brad from his hussy girlfriend and they can share in the spoils. TJ can have his yin and Eiffel can have his yang. Simultaneously, even, if their evil plans include engaging in acts unnatural and abhorent to the Heavens. Eiffel: “TJ, you’re not friends with any dwarfish characters, are you?”

  20. Dono
    January 17th, 2012 at 9:22 am [Reply]

    Has anyone in the past couple of weeks commented on the timeliness of the Spike Jones parody in Dick Tracy? Because it’s a little weird.

  21. Dennis the Two and a Half Menace
    January 17th, 2012 at 9:22 am [Reply]

    The opposite of Ann would be younger, have very short to almost no hair, a job that benefits society and be a man. So, Brad? BUM BUM DUH!

  22. Mibbitmaker
    January 17th, 2012 at 9:24 am [Reply]

    BBlues: One step forward, two steps back, ladies.

    Popeye: “An’ why does I hears Jimmy Durante singin’?”

    PBS: Steph, panel 4: “No…. not really.”

    Crank: Whew! For a minute, I thought Barry Wilkins was driving the other car!

    Curtis: Multiple people saying the same thing in unison is never not funny! (see: Three Stooges, Animal House.)

    DtM: Yet, somehow typical.

    MT: In panel 2, Mark is planning to wing it!
    See what I– (ducks) (runs!)

    MW: God, even her expression (p.2) exudes smug! *GAG!*

  23. pugfuggly
    January 17th, 2012 at 9:26 am [Reply]

    @Dagger (#17):

    The agents have unwittingly ordered the club’s specialty, the “club soda.” It has a 40 percent alcohol content. No wonder they’re seeing double.

    Plus there’s that half a gram of cocaine stirred in. And the ‘Pop’? You don’t want to know what’s in that!

  24. Mumblix Grumph
    January 17th, 2012 at 9:26 am [Reply]

    Oh, God…if TJ starts singing Billie Jean, I’m going to go full Aldo! And you NEVER go full Aldo!

  25. hogenmogen
    January 17th, 2012 at 9:28 am [Reply]

    So Cueball has an exact twin, and he plans to use this twin to throw off the cops while he pulls some kind of deal. And it would work, except the twins don’t have the IQ of an actual pool ball combined for overlooking the fact that to make the “twins” thing work, YOU SHOULD DRESS IDENTICALLY ALSO YOU FREAKIN’ MORONS!!

  26. wossname
    January 17th, 2012 at 9:30 am [Reply]

    Crank – Batiuk seems to have forgotten all about Chekhov’s ice. If you show adn repeatedly mention ice in the first act, Batty, in the following one someone needs to slip on it, or better yet, have a horrific crash caused by ice. It’s called – oh, never mind.

    MW – Shut up shut up shut up!

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#6):

    Spoiler warning: the Cueball in the suit and bow tie is actually Putty Puss!

    Dang, I bet you’re right! Putty Puss just disappeared after that caper in the TV studio, didn’t he? There’s so much action in DT that I can’t remember what happened a month ago.

  27. hogenmogen
    January 17th, 2012 at 9:31 am [Reply]

    @Mumblix Grumph (#24): Somewhere Bill Bixby is saying “Don’t make me full Aldo. You wouldn’t like me when I’m full Aldo.”

  28. Chareth Cutestory
    January 17th, 2012 at 9:33 am [Reply]

    Dick Tracy: Hey everybody, sorry to submit my comment so late this morning. Turns out, if you try to hold your drink like Cueball is holding his in the second panel, you’re going to end up dropping and spilling it on your laptop.

  29. Doctor Handsome
    January 17th, 2012 at 9:34 am [Reply]

    Apparently, TJ’s type is competently rendered and at least mildly interesting. I honestly would never have guessed.

  30. Peanut Gallery
    January 17th, 2012 at 9:35 am [Reply]

    Furthermore, if they appear to be carefree, it’s only to camouflage their sadness. (Thanks for the Smokey Robinson earworm, Josh!)

  31. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    January 17th, 2012 at 9:41 am [Reply]

    CS – As the driver responsible for the collision, the woman in the rear car is the one who should be worried about being accused of hit-and-run.

    MW – Oh sweet Jebus. I clicked on Mary Worth today, telling myself that it would be yet another day of congratulating St. Mary. I guess I still just wasn’t prepared for the full force of her self-regard. Not even a day’s break from the Meddlegasm to mention anything about the victim or the perpetrator’s fates?

    Luann – Rapidly descending into Amazing Spider-Man’s “written by children for children” territory. I know it ends up with Ann being properly humiliated for being female and attractive.

    RMMD – God, did we almost make it through a whole plot without someone handing money over to a Wilson character? Rex has barely had time to enjoy his new free boat, and now he has to worry about how much of an inheritance he is getting. His tax accountant is so overworked, he is actually cosidering starting to charge Rex for his services, rather than paying him for the privilege of filling out his Schedule Es.

    ASM – Is written by children for children. It is on the same level as Scooby Doo. I remember being 14 and having fun just tearing apart the story lines. Then I turned 15 and realized that mocking a Scooby Doo plot wasn’t exactly the sign of a discriminating critical mind, just a sign that I was too old to be in the target audience anymore.

  32. But What Do I Know?
    January 17th, 2012 at 9:43 am [Reply]

    MW — Well. if the boat sinks, Mary will apparently be able to walk to shore. . .

    GT — Um, that’s not how you steal a pass. Looks to me more like copping a feel.

    DT — Proving once again that you can’t really have a good time without alcohol.

  33. Mibbitmaker
    January 17th, 2012 at 10:00 am [Reply]

    Pop Culture’s Kids #7 is now up!

    A girl doesn’t know her own strength!

  34. CanuckDownSouth
    January 17th, 2012 at 10:00 am [Reply]

    We’re not going to get another plot until there have been more days of Mary adulation than views of the missing child poster, are we? Can somebody reboot the writer – I think they’re stuck.

  35. paul (pink) floyd
    January 17th, 2012 at 10:03 am [Reply]

    @But What Do I Know? (#32):

    Love the Dt comment….

  36. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 17th, 2012 at 10:07 am [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#31): Then I turned 15 and realized that mocking a Scooby Doo plot wasn’t exactly the sign of a discriminating critical mind, just a sign that I was too old to be in the target audience anymore.

    How true. It was just yesterday that I was mocking a Mary Worth plot when suddenly I realized… oh, snap. Well at least I can still make fun of Pluggers. Oh, phui.

    Guess it’s back to politics and religion for me. Sempiternal, they are.

    By the way, it has been 5,490 days since what’s-his-name was in the comic strip named after him.

  37. Doctor Handsome
    January 17th, 2012 at 10:11 am [Reply]

    CRIMESTOPPERS TEXTBOOK TIP: Club soda is good for getting out the inevitable bloodstains.

  38. Joe, the Upper-Evergreen Guy
    January 17th, 2012 at 10:15 am [Reply]

    Crank: “Sit and run”, crappy pun, just like the Foobiverse!

    FW: Great. Another stupid sob-story.

    Luann: ……………guess who’s coming to dinner?

    MW: Oh, what trite, interminable BULLSHIT.

    Pearls: What, does have his cigarettes and lighter shoved someplace private?

    RMMD: Uh-oh. The plot sickens, er, thickens. Otherwise, in panel 3, Mabel looks like Mrs. Mad Nazi Doctor..

    Archie: Ha ha ha!! It’s funny, because Fred’s mechanic is a lazy, incompetent bum who doesn’t seem to need the work!

    SixChix: No shit Shulock.

    Love is…: Day 2 of wearing clothes. What a week this is turning out to be!!

    Hope & Death: Weeell…….Yellow Belt isn’t that high up.

  39. Dennis Jimenez
    January 17th, 2012 at 10:18 am [Reply]

    DT – Indiscribable – someone took too much acid in the 60′s….

    Luann – I’m seeing TJ’s type as, um, Mike Tyson!!!

    Adios Amigos, DJ.

  40. jvwalt
    January 17th, 2012 at 10:18 am [Reply]

    DT: I love the valise thoughtfully labeled “DEPOSIT.” Apparently Cueball ran out of cloth bags with “$” emblazoned on the side.

  41. Maggie the Cat
    January 17th, 2012 at 10:25 am [Reply]

    I don’t read LuAnn except when it’s featured here, but I’ve gotta say that most young guys I know would totally be tapping that, even if she were crazy in a boil-your-rabbit kind of way. Seriously. Even if they knew no good would come of it since she’s nuts and their boss… (well, except the good of getting laid on the clock by hot cougarific woman with ample heaving cleavage).

  42. Cal
    January 17th, 2012 at 10:27 am [Reply]

    DT: Meanwhile, I’m just loving the accountant who still wears the trademark green visor… as he counts his paper sack full of cash…

  43. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    January 17th, 2012 at 10:27 am [Reply]

    MW: Can we just skip to the end of the meddlegasm, when Mary and her pilot blow-up doll sit there smoking cigarettes?

    A3G: Oh, Ruby, Luann’s too dumb to even muster any form of affect; you should know that by now.

    MT: You know what would make a good story, Elrod? Less jibber-jabber and more blind-dog hunting skilz.

    RA: I didn’t know that Cousin It went into the therapy biz.

    JP: Sam’s perplexed: “Why, when Abbey sent me a diamond necklace and a proposal, I said yes right away!”

  44. brendancalling
    January 17th, 2012 at 10:30 am [Reply]

    Luann: in panel three, is that supposed to be Ann’s cleavage? Or is it a couple of stray chest hairs?

  45. Vince M
    January 17th, 2012 at 10:32 am [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#22): “Multiple people saying the same thing in unison is never not funny!” See also: Mary Worth. “You better NOT!”

  46. Marc
    January 17th, 2012 at 10:33 am [Reply]

    Funky- “Learned my basketball from the ground up”? What the shit are you talking about Coach Anal? What does that even mean? Add that to the list of things said in this strip that nobody would ever say in reall ife.

    Mary Worth- If this boating trip goes the way of that Italian cruise ship, I’ll overlook what a pompous, idiotic statement “having a conscience gives me the courage to act on it” is.

    Mark Trail- But wait Mark, if you write that story about the blind hunting dog, then Tommy willl be overrun by cutsomers and his quiet, impoverished lifestyle will be ruined. So it’s best that you keep it to yourself. Although if you want to destroy more of Kelly Welly’s property in the process, have at it.

    Hi & Lois- What’s the deal with the drawing in this strip the past couple days?

  47. Mark B.
    January 17th, 2012 at 10:34 am [Reply]

    That’s not Cueball, that’s Putty Puss!

  48. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    January 17th, 2012 at 10:36 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#36):

    Mary Worth benefits a lot if you keep in mind who it is written for, and why. Obviously, the author sees the strip as a kind of public service announcement, with Mary as the role model and unmoving prime mover of the strip.

    So, the details of the ‘kidnapping’ aren’t really important (was it even a kidnapping? Did Wayne get around to demanding ransom? Or was it an ‘abduction’? Will Emily suffer from trauma for the rest of her life?). What is important is the message – if you see something wrong, call the police! Some ‘young’ punks sitting around smokng a funny cigarette? Call the cops! It makes you a hero!

    The audience doesn’t want surprises. They want linear plots whose outcome is immediately obvious so that they can relax and enjoy watching Mary triumph. It is as comforting as the Early Bird Special at Bob Evans.

  49. Droopy Says
    January 17th, 2012 at 10:46 am [Reply]

    I just wanted to make an idle remark on TJ’s posture in panel 2. “Haha, watch me intrude upon your space in your office, I who have no need to work while you are a corporate wage slave!”

    Yeah, TJ. And next year you’ll still be rooming with B-wad in a boring suburb, while Anne Eiffel is getting laid in some exotic locale.

  50. UncleJeff
    January 17th, 2012 at 11:01 am [Reply]

    Luann: trying for funny and flirtatious…coming off creepy.

    Judge Parker: yeah, let’s pin it on the guy with diplomatic immunity! Might as well just stop the investigation.

    MW: And now, the boat gets smaller. (Yeah, count me in with the people who thought that was a badly-drawn car. I took the left side of the panel as a highway shoulder and guardrails.)

  51. Señor Tortilla
    January 17th, 2012 at 11:02 am [Reply]

    H&L’s art is definitely different, that’s for sure.

  52. Shrug
    January 17th, 2012 at 11:03 am [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#8):

    And if the DICK TRACY plot ends in a bloody shootout, the blood will be brought to us by The Catsup Advisory Board.

  53. Esther Blodgett
    January 17th, 2012 at 11:05 am [Reply]

    FW: I always say, the best way for a woman to learn to do something is to watch men doing it. Like playing basketball, or masturbating.

    MW: Is this moment sponsored by Cialis? Because if it is, they should demand their money back.

    9CL: So the joke here involves a gay man looking at a woman’s ass trying to make out famous works of art? Really? And we’re beefwits?

  54. Shrug
    January 17th, 2012 at 11:10 am [Reply]

    @hogenmogen (#25):

    I once read a JONAH HEX story in which a villain made himself up as Hex and Did Some Crimes. After several pages of shenanigans, Hex managed to prove to the law that he was innocent by pointing out that said villain had put his deformed half-a-face on the wrong side — something the sheriff and a number of witnesses had inexplicably failed to notice already. Compared to that, a “twins’ plot failing because they failed to dress exactly alike” story is Shakespeare.

    And speaking of Shakespeare, how come none of the townies in THE COMEDY OF ERRORS ever noticed that the two sets of identical twins, no matter how much they looked alike, would almost certainly have been wearing different clothes? I mean, they’d been seperated for twenty or so years, presumably their tastes would have diverged at some point in that period…

  55. twg
    January 17th, 2012 at 11:14 am [Reply]

    MW: Is it just me, or is this whole Mary Worth plot a huge “Fuck you!” to Mike McQueary?

  56. Shrug
    January 17th, 2012 at 11:16 am [Reply]

    Am I the only ‘mudge who found the relative positioning of Beetle and Sarge in today’s BEETLE BAILEY a bit . . . suggestive? Or is it just my filthy mind?

  57. Hibbleton
    January 17th, 2012 at 11:16 am [Reply]

    MW: There’s a director standing just off panel pulling his hands slowly apart, pointing at his watch, and mouthing the words “stretch it, stretch it out. We still have eight more strips to fill.”

  58. Old School Allie Cat
    January 17th, 2012 at 11:22 am [Reply]

    Luann – Much as I’d like to believe that Greg Evans is letting us know that risotto-making, Brad-roommating, Jheri-curling TJ is (stage whisper) gay (/stage whisper), I don’t think he’s capable of meaningful character development.

    Either way, TJ is a man’s man. And even if this is a lameass plot, it’s better than watching Gunther ejaculate prematurely whenever a woman walks by, or watching Delta be all sassy and activist-y again.

  59. Horace Broon
    January 17th, 2012 at 11:24 am [Reply]

    A3G: Remember kids, if you feel like you fit into your family, it probably just means you’re adopted and they don’t really like you!

    ‘Shaft: No, random-woman-in-car, the “hit” bit was the same, it’s the “run” bit that didn’t happen.

    H&L: The only way I can parse this as making any kind of sense is that a girl Chip has never met before (and has, therefore, never seen without her jacket) has come up to him and spontaneously announced she’s on the gymnastics team. And the only way I can parse that as making any sense is that it’s an incredibly clumsy come-on. “I can get both legs behind my head! Would you like to see that?”

    MTOkay, we now have a reason why Tommy would seek the aid of a wildlife journalist in this situation, thereby increasing the amount of sense this is making to 0.0001%.

    MW: Oh, shut up! Seriously, a week of this?

    RMMD: I can’t remember: was Foster a rich drunken layabout, or just a drunken layabout? If the latter, Rex’s legacy will be all the bottles he never got around to returning for the deposit. They all say “No deposit, no return”.

    S4th: Is “paying to apply for jobs” a real thing that people do, or has the Butterfly Effect of Sally and Ted not getting together somehow made the economy even worse?

  60. paul (pink) floyd
    January 17th, 2012 at 11:30 am [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#48):

    you are in top form today.

  61. Rocky Stoneaxe
    January 17th, 2012 at 11:33 am [Reply]

    @Mark B. (#47): You’re probably right!

  62. Notebooked
    January 17th, 2012 at 11:36 am [Reply]

    I adore the way that Cueball is grasping the can of POP with two fingers, without seeming to bend them at all, and with his current hand position it doesn’t seem possible that he’s using his thumb. I think I understand why Cueball got his name — he has no eyes and no ability to grip things. What? Oh. Yeah, and he’s bald, I guess.

  63. Rocky Stoneaxe
    January 17th, 2012 at 11:40 am [Reply]

    Doonesbury — Happy birthday to James Earl Jones*!

    *B. 1931

  64. mojo
    January 17th, 2012 at 11:43 am [Reply]

    MW: One more day of this, and this sequence of Mary congratulating herself on a job well done is going to last longer than the plotlines of the pickpocketing, the lost sweater, and the kidnapping combined.

  65. bats :[
    January 17th, 2012 at 11:46 am [Reply]

    This might be a cop-out, but sometimes you just have to console yourself in your own little fantasies and delusions, about what’s really real (Mary’s near-divinity) and what’s just sorta kinda real.

  66. Rocky Stoneaxe
    January 17th, 2012 at 11:50 am [Reply]

    On this day in 1929, Popeye the Sailor Man first appeared in E.C. Segar’s Thimble Theatre comic strip!

  67. Chyron HR
    January 17th, 2012 at 11:51 am [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#66): But how many days has it been since Ham Gravy appeared in the strip? Please provide a running count.

  68. Mark B.
    January 17th, 2012 at 11:51 am [Reply]

    I’m thinking the [Club Soda]=> tags in Dick Tracy are a cue for the colorist, but they still got it wrong on GoComics, coloring them brown in yesterday’s comic, and bright blue in today’s.

  69. teenchy
    January 17th, 2012 at 11:52 am [Reply]

    @brendancalling (#44): Pass the brain bleach stat. Between that and the constant camel-toes, I can’t get it out of my head that Evans is wanking to his own drawings (though maybe not at McE frequency).

  70. Chip Whittle
    January 17th, 2012 at 11:55 am [Reply]

    Mark Trail: The real genius of this blind-dog story is that when Kelly Welly tries to horn in on it, Mark can tell her that since the dog’s blind he won’t show up in photographs. Problem solved!

  71. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    January 17th, 2012 at 11:56 am [Reply]

    @Esther Blodgett (#53):

    Re: FW – Wait, so you are saying that the best way for a woman to learn something is to watch men doing it while she is masturbating? The gay porn industry appreciates your endorsement!

  72. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 17th, 2012 at 12:01 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#65): Fulgent!

  73. Esther Blodgett
    January 17th, 2012 at 12:03 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#71): Wait…no, I meant…while he…while she…um…well, this explains a lot about my technique.

  74. El Nino de la Gringo
    January 17th, 2012 at 12:08 pm [Reply]

    Luann: Bazinga! Ann Eiffel delivers the greatest zinger in the history of this strip.

  75. El Nino de la Gringo
    January 17th, 2012 at 12:11 pm [Reply]

    Plug-grrrs: Buy it now! The Pluggers’ Way to Wealth: Stooping to Conquer illustrates your path to unimagined riches: picking up lost change from the ground. (I hear the TSA uses the same method these days.)

  76. Rocky Stoneaxe
    January 17th, 2012 at 12:11 pm [Reply]

    @Chyron HR (#67): You couldn’t ask me to do something easy — like come up with the number of days since Ham Fisher cashed in his chips? (Quick, Nehemiah Scudder, how many days has it been since December 27, 1955?)

  77. hogenmogen
    January 17th, 2012 at 12:16 pm [Reply]

    I checked in on Mark Trail after leaving it alone for two weeks. Yep, the dog is till blind. I bet he hasn’t lost his ability to find birds – provided that they have the wingspan of a B-52 and fly dangerously close to the ground.

    A3G: “I always felt like an outsider in my own family… And I’m relieved to find out that I’m not actually related to any of those losers! Ha ha! It completely confirms the fact that I really AM better than they are, and it has nothing to do with the fact that I live in downtown Manhattan, the center of the entire Universe! And if any of those moronic, petty hicks point out that I’m really decended from nutty aunt Ruby, I’ll just throw in their face that my phone number starts with 212! The same area code as Donald Trump and millions of other over-important, self-absorbed people!”

    You know those comics where someone says something harmless and they pan back the scene to reveal something incongruent (yeah, I’m talkin’ to you Hagar and Hi& Lois)? I wish there was a third panel of Mary Worth that revealed Jeff’s intent to shut that braggy old bag up, like her feet tied to lead weights and a shotgun in Jeff’s lap. “Yes, Mary, you’re certainly the brave one. Now take the extra step the hell off my boat before I blow a hole in your skull you smug, self-congratulating, ancient bat!!”

  78. El Nino de la Gringo
    January 17th, 2012 at 12:21 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#63): *Gasp* The voice of Darth Vader is 81 years old?!
    “No, Luke, I am your … grandfather. Now get off my lawn, dammit.”

  79. El Nino de la Gringo
    January 17th, 2012 at 12:26 pm [Reply]

    Merrily Worthless: And so we reach the point in the boat cruise at which Tony, Christopher and Paulie Walnuts climb out of the cabin, guns ready to plug the rat meddler full of holes for ruining the kidnapping plan and dump her carcass in the ocean, as capo di tutti capi Dr. Jeff nods grimly.

  80. Artist formerly known as Ben
    January 17th, 2012 at 12:27 pm [Reply]

    DT: The Cueball who’s making a grab for the club’s cash is Putty Puss, of course. Probably a bad, bad idea on his part, since the cops can’t or won’t save him from the psychopathic rage of the real Cueball, regardless of how sober they are.

    Doonz: Garry Trudeau makes his first try at drawing the Lisbeth Salander look. Although Benji Doonesbury could have pulled it off during his Sal Putrid days.

    MG&G: I’m very impressed that Mike Peters has started off on a cartoon adaptation of Neil Gaiman’s “Murder Mysteries.”

    MW: Could the cherubs just go ahead and carry Mary away already? Then we wouldn’t have to listen to her.

    RMMD: Foster’s death stands to make the Morgan’s even more obscenely wealthy than they are now. It’s a development as surprising as a dog licking itself.

    Phantom: “Not tonight, honey. I gotta shplitting headache.”

    M-Dawg: Gravy on cereal still phases her after she’s gotten used to that tongue?

    SFx: This may be the most labor-intensive theft I’ve seen not committed by Burgess Meredith holding an umbrella.

    6C: In other news, parrots have developed opposeable thumbs. Our days as the dominant species on this planet are pretty much over.

  81. Chip Whittle
    January 17th, 2012 at 12:27 pm [Reply]

  82. Cloudbuster
    January 17th, 2012 at 12:30 pm [Reply]

    CShaft: In Funkyverse, traffic laws are dynamically adjusted to produce maximum despair and humiliation.

  83. btown
    January 17th, 2012 at 12:34 pm [Reply]

    Dick Tracy: I just want to compliment the artwork. I believe this is the first time I’ve ever seen a comic character who was identifiable as Black based on her features, rather than shading, cross-hatching, etc.

  84. Rocky Stoneaxe
    January 17th, 2012 at 12:35 pm [Reply]

    James Dean and Alex “Flash Gordon” Raymond died in car crashes almost exactly a year apart. Greg “Luann” Evan’s TJ is the 21st century equivalent of Dean, and Raymond’s brother Jim used to be the artist on “Blondie”. Ham “Joe Palooka” Fisher ended his life with a bullet, and Greg’s mother — Dale Evans — once owned a dog named “Bullet” with her second husband, Roy Rogers. What, pray tell, does it all mean?

  85. Baka Gaijin
    January 17th, 2012 at 12:36 pm [Reply]

    @ElkMeadow (#Y252) on Big Top: I’m torn. If the clowns are stuccoed to the tunnel, I’m fine. Otherwise, EEEEE! [QLUNQ!]

    @Will (#Y257): I’m not asking why you did your senior thesis on the Synod of Whitby. Not even going to ask. Not even with a circular slide rule.

  86. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    January 17th, 2012 at 12:37 pm [Reply]

    JS: d’awwww.

    R&R: *golf clap*

    SBp: yes, yes there is. (now to go explain it to the ‘just a theory’ crowd. . . .)

    OtH: spleens are inherently funny?

    Bizarro: /facepalm.

    F-: HAR! (it’s been at least a fortnight.)

  87. hogenmogen
    January 17th, 2012 at 12:38 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug (#54): What I mean is that if Cue took the trouble to transport himself back in time to when he was a newly fertilized egg, and through sheer force of will managed to divide himself in two, he could also have purchased either an additional club shirt or an additional bowtie & suit.

    I’m thinking that it is Putty Puss and that he is doing it without Cue’s knowledge in order to steal the nightly deposit, but I like the bizarre thought of self-twinning just to make a drug deal.

  88. Rocky Stoneaxe
    January 17th, 2012 at 12:40 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#84): Apologies for the misplaced apostrophe — it’s Greg “Luann” Evans’ TJ!

  89. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 17th, 2012 at 12:46 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#76):

    @Chyron HR (#67): You couldn’t ask me to do something easy — like come up with the number of days since Ham Fisher cashed in his chips? (Quick, Nehemiah Scudder, how many days has it been since December 27, 1955?)

    Let me just whip out my Otis King. Lets, 365, times…. leaps years every four, except 2000, um, got it: 20,475!

  90. bats :[
    January 17th, 2012 at 12:46 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#84): I’ll admit it: I’m gullible. Really, really gullible. But is Dale Evans really Greg Evans’ mother? (Wikipedia, The Font of All Knowing Stuff, was of no use.)

  91. LP2004
    January 17th, 2012 at 12:53 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#89): You might want to double-check 2000.

  92. Frank Lee Meidere
    January 17th, 2012 at 12:56 pm [Reply]

    Just read Evan’s comments on sex in comics. Had to laugh.

    As a writer, I desire the freedom to go where I want in LUANN, including frank, realistic discussions of all the issues teens face in growing up. Sex? Yes!

    As a father, grandfather and curmudgeonly old guy, I’m fed up with being bombarded by idiots, “celebrities” and anyone with a computer, saying whatever they please whenever they please. I yearn for civility and restraint in our entertainment. Sex in comic strips? No!

    I trust I’ve made my position perfectly clear.

  93. TheDiva
    January 17th, 2012 at 1:02 pm [Reply]

    Luann: At first I was wondering who is sexually harassing who in this strip. Then I realized sex does not exist beyond vague childish innuendo in the Luannverse, so it doesn’t really matter.

    9CL: I’m not sure if it’s intentional or not, but kudos to Brooke for demonstrating why I think derriere decoration should be outlawed.

    A3G: She might be taking it worse if she were drawn with more than one expression.

    C’shaft: PROTIP TO TOM BATIUK: Puns are only remotely funny (emphasis on “remotely,” because these are puns we’re talking about) when they make some sort of sense within the context of the situation.

    FW: Ann went to the same school where they filmed this.

    MW: If Mary doesn’t break an arm patting herself on the back, can I break it for her?

    SM: That’s not Thor, that’s Peter in a bad wig! This is just some freaky roleplay thing gone horribly wrong!

  94. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    January 17th, 2012 at 1:03 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#92):

    This attitude is really the cause of the disconnect in Luann. He wants to portray B-Wad and Toni as having a ‘hot and heavy’ relationship, but he feels he can’t be direct. So the result is a few scenes of them kissing, which are presented as a Big Deal. And the effect is that readers assume they only have ever made it to first base. It puts the relationship in a whole new light. And makes B-Wad look much more pathetic, so I am OK with this.

    Same with Luann’s interactions. She can’t be show actually, you know, being romantically engaged with someone, because then people would expect the relationship to progress in directions Evans feels he cant take it. So we have a constant stream of go-nowhere flirtations.

    Of course, if you aren’t going to go there, then don’t dance right up to the edge and then visibly pull out – I mean – pull BACK. Back.

  95. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 17th, 2012 at 1:04 pm [Reply]

    @LP2004 (#91): Oops, right you are, got the rule backwards. “Years that are evenly divisible by 100 are not leap years, unless they are also evenly divisible by 400, in which case they are leap years.[2][3] For example, 1600 and 2000 were leap years, but 1700, 1800 and 1900 were not. Similarly, 2100, 2200, 2300, 2500, 2600, 2700, 2900 and 3000 will not be leap years, but 2400 and 2800 will be. ” Wiki.

  96. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    January 17th, 2012 at 1:07 pm [Reply]

    in honor of yesterday.

    For Poteet.

    Two for bb,u. *hic*

    WANT!

    synchronized hoverbunnys.

    Edda wishes shw was this cute as a model.

  97. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    January 17th, 2012 at 1:14 pm [Reply]

    3G – Lu Ann felt some way? You mean, like experiencing emotions? Go on with your bad self! Next you’re going to be telling me she blinks sometimes.

    SlylockHe’s thinking “This is the worst glory hole ever!” [*]

    9 – I like when Edda’s the butt of the joke.

  98. wossname
    January 17th, 2012 at 1:16 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#84): Now just waaaaaait a minute here. Did you just compare the immortal James Dean to that icky moron TJ? That’s blasphemy, son! Blasphemy! [/foghorn leghorn voice]

  99. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    January 17th, 2012 at 1:16 pm [Reply]

    Mark“I hope he will show you that he hasn’t lost his ability to find birds!”
    Considering that there are always dozens of grouse hanging around Tommy’s place, scuttling around on the ground, flying through the air, forming little pyramids, spelling out “E-L-R-O-D” and all, the dog would have to be blind, deaf, bereft of a sense of smell, and totally paralyzed in order not to stumble over at least two in any direction.

    Mary – They’re in a different boat today. Jeff must be rolling in the dough!

    R=R – Seriously, the third-person summary at the end of the strip is an utter failure if the intent is humorous. On the other hand, if it’s just meant to be annoying: Mission Accomplished.

    Family – Poor Jeffy is never gonna get any bedtime tale. Ever.

  100. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 17th, 2012 at 1:17 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#92): Reminds me of Judge Sweat’s whiskey speech.

  101. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    January 17th, 2012 at 1:17 pm [Reply]

    @Dono (#20): Has anyone in the past couple of weeks commented on the timeliness of the Spike Jones parody in Dick Tracy?
    Yes.

    @Mibbitmaker (#33): Do you use Rapidographs? Also, if I may second-guess, you could have left the border off the bottom panel. Just as a thought, of course, offered for the price you paid for it.

    @Maggie the Cat (#41): …I’ve gotta say that most young guys I know would totally be tapping that
    I dunno. There’s a little too much “Mary Tyler Moore’s Evil Twin” there, and there’s something about her that suggests that sex with her would be, like, efficient and businesslike.

    @Marc (#46): Hi & Lois- What’s the deal with the drawing in this strip the past couple days?
    They went to a more mechanical-looking lettering font in the balloons. The art is sufficiently generic that different lettering makes it look changed.

  102. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    January 17th, 2012 at 1:18 pm [Reply]

    ps to the blogging software: I am not posting comments too fast. Fuck you.

  103. Frank Lee Meidere
    January 17th, 2012 at 1:23 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#95): AD 2100 is going to be a busy year for you, I believe. Good thing there won’t be any extra days in it.

  104. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 17th, 2012 at 1:27 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#103): Small mercies, eh?

  105. Frank Lee Meidere
    January 17th, 2012 at 1:30 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#100): Ah, if only we had such plain-speaking politicians today.

    But I can do both Sweat and Evans one better.

  106. Sock Puppet
    January 17th, 2012 at 1:40 pm [Reply]

    DT – Love the quintessential accountant/book-keeper with his visor, thick glasses and sleeve garters. You know his name is Morty or Sol.

  107. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 17th, 2012 at 1:42 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#105): Hah! Refulgent. I particularly liked the phrase “ferocity of a wolf pack descending upon a visiting grandchild”. Those would be “villainous” wolves, of course.

    Your courage in standing up to the petty padishahs of periphrasis (villainous cousins to the better known nattering nabobs of negativism), is an inspiration to us all. Be orgulous, my friend.

  108. The Rixter of Dibley
    January 17th, 2012 at 1:44 pm [Reply]

    MW: Dr. Jeff sees that Mary would like to swim to shore. But does he have the courage to act upon it?

    FW:I learned my basketball from the ground up.
    I don’t even want to imagine what she was doing on the ground in the first place.

    Roseshaft: Why isn’t Brenda Bangs on the phone with 911? I’m sure the police would be happy to come and pistol-whip lend assistance to an old lady in distress.

  109. Calico
    January 17th, 2012 at 1:45 pm [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#10):
    There is a club called Club Soda in Montreal, actually.
    Oh, and nice to see Terry Bradshaw make an appearance there!

  110. bats :[
    January 17th, 2012 at 1:53 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#92): no one his age is a “brat,” as he describes himself– I hesitate to suggest an alternative term, however, for offending the underaged, highly moral, etc., etc.

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#94): nice recovery, CCB.

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#96): with a little of that Adobe’ by Fotoshop, she can be!

  111. commodorejohn
    January 17th, 2012 at 1:58 pm [Reply]

    A3G – “I wish I’d known that, Luann. I mean, it’s not like I’ve known you for years well enough to comment repeatedly on how poorly your adoptive family treats you, or anything.”

    Curtis – So, uh, yeah, I guess that whole “Diane wants to take online classes” thing is going away, never to appear again.

    DT – What the hell kind of hardened criminal drinks “Pop” brand pop?

    F- – WANT.

    JP – Well, there was no need for that, April! Fahim subscribes to the Eugene Whatsisface school of proposal, wherein all that is needed to forever end a relationship and cancel all speaking terms is a postal-service fuck-up. You could’ve just declined to reply, and your problem would’ve resolved itself! You know, like all the “heroes’” other problems in this strip.

    Luann – Wow. Somehow in being more specific than Gil Thorp‘s handling of Lini, it’s managed to be less interesting.

    Mandrake – Oliver Hardy!?

    MT – Okay, can we hire an outside consultant to advise Mark on what would and would not “make a good story?”

    MW – Okay, guys I’m pretty sure we’re approaching critical smug mass. When the world is obliterated in an apocalypse of self-satisfaction, I’d just like you to know that you’ve all been great.

    Monty – Oh sure, Brooke thinks he’s all more-intellectual-than-thou, but does he reference Andrei Tarkovsky?

    PBS – When Rat gets back, he had better be handing out a beating for those first two panels.

    RMMD – Oh hurrah. More lavishing of gifts on the main characters.

    SM – You know what would be really great? Is if Thor turned out to be right, and MJ actually was an amnesiac Sif. She’s caught trying to reconcile two separate lives, he’s too clueless to be of any help, and best of all, Peter reaches Asgard, finds out the truth, then goes, “welp, I guess that’s that” and heads back home hoping to catch Letterman. I think that would really be the perfect ending to the newspaper Spider-Man strip.

    Ziggy – Dammit, now I’m jonesing for Edgar Bergen and Charlie McCarthy.

  112. Frank Lee Meidere
    January 17th, 2012 at 1:58 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#107): Damn! I had to look up orgulous. This annoyed me because I am quite orgulous about staying orgulous.

    Sometimes I stay thirsty, too.

    But it did bring to mind one of my pet peeves (right up there with the fact that Atlas did not carry the world on his shoulders — he carried the heavens). Specifically — it isn’t pride that goeth before a fall. Pride goeth before destruction. A haughty (or orgulous) spirit goeth before a fall (Proverbs 16:18).

  113. Chyron HR
    January 17th, 2012 at 2:06 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#111): Peter reaches Asgard, finds out the truth, then goes, “welp, I guess that’s that” and heads back home hoping to catch Letterman.

    It just goes to show you, loose Sifs sink ‘ships.

  114. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    January 17th, 2012 at 2:08 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#112):

    Also, it is the love of money that is the root of all evil.

    However, if it was only the heavens that Atlas carried on his shoulders, then why are all these agnostics going around making such a big deal about the time he shrugged?

  115. Frank Lee Meidere
    January 17th, 2012 at 2:10 pm [Reply]

    @The Rixter of Dibley (#108): Regarding FW. I’m curious how anyone doesn’t learn basketball “from the ground up.” I’ll admit I’m pretty clueless when it comes to sports, but I’m pretty sure the common method of learning how to play basketball is by actually playing basketball — on the ground. Perhaps I’m mistaken, though. Perhaps they actually hang from the rafters on ropes for a year watching games from above?

    I’m further puzzled by what, exactly, she could have really learned by being a go-to girl. Since she didn’t play the game she couldn’t have developed any of the skills necessary to be a good player. So how does her lack of any related experience qualify her to tell others who actually have the skills how to play?

    Ooohhh! Now I get it.

    She’s a “project manager.”

  116. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 17th, 2012 at 2:13 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#112): I got orgulous from your fellow countryman, Robertson Davies, whom I’ve just discovered. I love a writer who sends me to the dictionary. Davies is great. I’ve just finished the Salterton trilogy, and I’m starting on Deptford. Why were you people hiding this guy? I feel like Keats on first looking into Shelley’s Chapman. Or something like that, silent on a peak in Darien.

  117. Frank Lee Meidere
    January 17th, 2012 at 2:17 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#114): And while the body may be the “Temple of the Holy Spirit,” the only sin you can commit against the body is sexual (1 Corinthians 6:18-20). So it doesn’t matter a damn if you eat junk food or smoke — at least, not from a sinning point of view.

    As for shrugging — I imagine even agnostics don’t want the Moon suddenly falling in the middle of New York.

  118. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    January 17th, 2012 at 2:19 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#117):

    Unless you want to go all Old Testament, in which case a lot of what was considered junk food in the Bronze Age turns out to be forbidden and sinful.

  119. bats :[
    January 17th, 2012 at 2:22 pm [Reply]

  120. Austria
    January 17th, 2012 at 2:23 pm [Reply]

    reFOOB: Elly looks far too shocked at the prospect that a child – gasp – enjoys the prospect of getting out of school.

    Luann: I’d be more willing to guess that he’s bi, but whatever.

    RMMD: Wasn’t there something with these guys about two weeks into the Kelly storyline?

  121. Will
    January 17th, 2012 at 2:24 pm [Reply]

    Garfield: I’d just like to note that Odie looks less stupid wearing his hat than Curtis does.

  122. Hibbleton
    January 17th, 2012 at 2:25 pm [Reply]

    MT: This is the most asinine story arc yet. Anyone who was that good at training bird dogs would have more work than he could handle. When I was bird hunting twenty-odd years ago, you’d be lucky if a good trainer would have room to take and train your dog (yes, your dog, and a lot of guys paid by giving the trainer one of the pups of a good dog). To think that this guy’s income depends on the continued working of one blind dog is nuts.

  123. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    January 17th, 2012 at 2:26 pm [Reply]

    Lisa: “I’m going to become a vegetarian”
    Homer: “Does that mean you’re not going to eat any pork?”
    L: “Yes”
    H: “Bacon?”
    L: “Yes Dad”
    H: “Ham?”
    L: “Dad all those meats come from the same animal”
    H: “Right, Lisa, some wonderful, magical animal!””

  124. Frank Lee Meidere
    January 17th, 2012 at 2:27 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#116): Wonderful! He was still at UofT when I was there (1995-2000: I was a very “mature” student), and my wife and I attended a talk he gave in the Trinity common room.

    Many Canadians dislike him because his books are often taught in high school. I love the guy (although to be fair, when I was in high school they were teaching Salinger — but then, I still like Salinger, so…)

    Of course, the real reason Canadians tend to downplay him is because he was somewhat of an elitist, with an heretical idea that people were responsible for their own actions. (Also, he talked in big words.)

    Now I think I’m going to dig out my Robertson Davies books again. I always wanted to do a walking tour, leading people to the various places in Toronto where events occurred in his books.

  125. Liam
    January 17th, 2012 at 2:42 pm [Reply]

    JP-You shouldn’t have done that April. Now that guy is going to have find who you are with and he has to make that person an offer to take you off his hands.

    MW-Now let’s talk about taking that extra step when we dump the body over the side.

  126. Sequitur
    January 17th, 2012 at 2:45 pm [Reply]

    Mary Worth – mother of gawd.

  127. Liam
    January 17th, 2012 at 2:46 pm [Reply]

    Dick Tracy-I want to thank the artist for pointing out that is club soda those women are drinking. It is one of those little details that makes us think, “Why the hell should we care what they are drinking.”

  128. hogenmogen
    January 17th, 2012 at 2:47 pm [Reply]

    http://www.chron.com/entertainment/comics-games/comic/Pluggers/
    Pluggers wander through traffic wondering why no one is showering them with cash.

    http://www.chron.com/entertainment/comics-games/comic/Garfield/
    Barfield: “I think I look good in a hat.” Weakest set up for a joke ever.

    Marm: Still a big dog. Ha ha.

  129. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 17th, 2012 at 2:48 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#124):

    Of course, the real reason Canadians tend to downplay him is because he was somewhat of an elitist, with an heretical idea that people were responsible for their own actions.

    And yet, he’s so genial about it. He seems to genuinely like all his characters, even the ones who make silly or wicked decisions. He’s satirical and funny without ever being mean or cruel.

    Of course, I’ve only read the three books so far…

  130. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    January 17th, 2012 at 2:53 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#48): I think you are absolutely right—but still, this round of self-congratulation is excessive. Perhaps Moy is on to us; maybe she realizes we’re her core audience, and she’s playing to her base.

    Or: Perhaps there really is a “Mary Worth,” a dessicated Jabba-the-Hutt-like creature who demands not only obeisance but narrative and visual renderings of her glory, not so much a “jealous god” as a profoundly egotistical one. This Mary has enslaved Moy & Giella, holding them chained in a secret chamber in her condo, and they must churn out examples of her glory, with the resultant congratulations, to receive their meager food rations each day—a small bowl of beige lumps. So starved are they that they would clamor for salmon squares and a sip of Potato-Ade! That’s why so many strips feature people eating or drinking; Moy & Giella find vicarious satisfaction in drawing other people eating, but they’ve long forgotten what real food looks like.

    It makes a horrible kind of sense, doesn’t it?

    @Sequitur (#126): Has she been given credit for that now, too?

  131. hogenmogen
    January 17th, 2012 at 2:53 pm [Reply]

    Here’s why I love Phantom (nothing to do with his stripey underwear): He already beat this guy unconscious. Now that he’s coming to, Phantom will dish out a harsh interrogation followed by another ass kicking. He’ll wake up embarrassingly tied to something after Phantom has escaped with the two kids.

    When Queen Mary found a kid in trouble, all Mary Worth did was call the cops and stand in the doorway. Smug wench.

  132. Frank Lee Meidere
    January 17th, 2012 at 2:53 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#129): I think you’ve described him perfectly. He holds people responsible, but with kindness. And lots and lots of wit.

    If you can get a copy, check out his A Voice from the Attic, which is about reading.

  133. Sequitur
    January 17th, 2012 at 2:55 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#130): As in “gawd awful.”

  134. Northernlurker
    January 17th, 2012 at 3:00 pm [Reply]

    MW: Gaaa! Two weeks of obsessing about the missing girl poster, followed by two weeks of stalling Wayne and Emily at the Diner. Are we going to be blessed with two weeks of Mary congratulating herself?
    So let’s see that makes her smug, sanctimonious, self righteous, platitudinous and conceited. I think I hate Mary more than I hate Les Moore. If Les and Mary ever met the universe would explode.
    Time to find somebody else Dr Jeff. If Mary ever puts out it will take a month of foreplay.

  135. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 17th, 2012 at 3:01 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#132): A Voice from the Attic

    Noted in my PAA (personal analog assistant, aka 3×5 notebook, aka vade mecum)

  136. Calvin\'s Cardboard Box
    January 17th, 2012 at 3:31 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#130):

    The Lord, thy God, is an insecure and needy God! Hence, these commandments – most of which are based on ME! And MY needs! Thy God!!

    1 – ME! Only worship ME!
    2 – Don’t try to find the loophole in #1 and worship a statue of another God. It’s ME or nothing – and nothing is not an option.
    3 – Thou shalt not insult ME, as it really hurtest my feelings
    4 – One day a week, it’s all about ME. Well, really every day is ME, but the Sabbath, that is 100% ALL ME ALL THE TIME
    5 – 10 – Don’t kill, steal, covet, have relations with thy neighbor’s wife’s ass – you know these already, just fill in the details as you go.

    11 – And give my Son a break, will ya? He’s not turning out how I expected – hell, he isn’t even employed much less the King of anything, and he still lives at home after that carpenter gig didn’t work out – but treat him the way you would treat me – even if only to humor his feelings, alright? And if he gives you that whole “my Father’s home has many mansions” B.S., don’t think that means I’m OK with you crashing on my couch for a few millenia!!

  137. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 17th, 2012 at 3:39 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin\’s Cardboard Box (#136): Oh, dear. And you seemed such a nice fellow. What shall we do with you in New Jerusalem?

  138. A Smirch Unheeded
    January 17th, 2012 at 3:41 pm [Reply]

    @hogenmogen (#131): Agreed. But the stripey underwear is cool too.

  139. Black Drazon
    January 17th, 2012 at 3:44 pm [Reply]

    What’s even better about the club soda in DT is that the coloured version on Go Comics (not coloured by the DT team) seems to have decided that the team brought food colouring with them too. Either that or Lee decided she was bored and busted a blue glow-stick into hers as an excuse to leave, and I’d hardly blame her.

  140. Shrug
    January 17th, 2012 at 3:48 pm [Reply]

  141. Poteet
    January 17th, 2012 at 3:50 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#96): Awwww. Poor Butch should only be so lucky.

  142. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 17th, 2012 at 3:50 pm [Reply]

    @LP2004 (#91):

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#89): You might want to double-check 2000.

    Uncle Lumpy: Would you mind, when you have a few minutes, going back to my posts for the last few months, and where ever I said Barney Google has been missing for “x” days, make it “x +1″ days. I seem to have had a Y2K issue.

    I realize that’s probably a couple of hundred posts, but maybe you could do a Perl or Python script on it. Thanks awfully.

  143. Poteet
    January 17th, 2012 at 3:55 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#130): Gaaah. Now I’ll have a new view of “Jeff,” the surrogate for the desperate captives, the desperate surrogate who must never let his desperation truly show. As if the strip weren’t creepy enough.

  144. Rocky Stoneaxe
    January 17th, 2012 at 4:00 pm [Reply]

    @wossname (#98): Hey, don’t blame me for the comparison — blame Dale Evans’ son!

  145. Poteet
    January 17th, 2012 at 4:02 pm [Reply]

    S-M — “It’s also clear that the blow to your head affected your judgment and taste! Look at your hairdo, not to mention that dweeb you were with!”

  146. Poteet
    January 17th, 2012 at 4:04 pm [Reply]

    S-M — As a P.S., please don’t show us the S-M version of Asgard, pleasepleaseplease. I’ll have a hard enough time scrubbing this version of “Thor” out of my brain.

  147. Uncle Lumpy
    January 17th, 2012 at 4:15 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#102):

    Hey, be nice to the blogging software — or risk its terrible wrath!

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#142): @Nehemiah Scudder (#142):

    Would you mind, when you have a few minutes, going back to my posts for the last few months, and where ever I said Barney Google has been missing for “x” days, make it “x +1? days. I seem to have had a Y2K issue.

    Sure, I’ll get on that right away.

  148. TheTJ
    January 17th, 2012 at 4:17 pm [Reply]

    Not for the first time (Nor the last!) I wish my name didn’t appear in Luann at all… at least I wasn’t named Brad, or Gunther.

  149. Sans Sense
    January 17th, 2012 at 4:22 pm [Reply]

    RMMD: I think with one more boat Rex is promoted from Captain Morgan to Commodore!

  150. Rocky Stoneaxe
    January 17th, 2012 at 4:23 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#90): Okay, I lied — Roy Rogers was Dale Evans’ fourth husband.

    To get serious for a minute: Dale Evans (b. Frances Octavia Smith) had only one biological son, but his name was Thomas — not Greg. She had him when she was 15, and married to her first husband, Thomas F. Fox (they eloped when Evans was 14). By the time she met Roy Rogers, Dale* was a thrice-married divorcee.

    *The name “Dale Evans” was one she adopted in the early 1930s to promote her career as a singer.

  151. Sans Sense
    January 17th, 2012 at 4:23 pm [Reply]

    @Sans Sense (#149): Or does he go straight to Lionel Richie?

  152. Cloudbuster
    January 17th, 2012 at 4:25 pm [Reply]

    @Hibbleton (#122): Key word: “good”

  153. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 17th, 2012 at 4:28 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#147): Gosh, Uncle Lumpy, you’re the bestest! I don’t care what [Old Man] Muffaroo says about you!

  154. Sans Sense
    January 17th, 2012 at 4:31 pm [Reply]

    MW: The same “conscience” that allowed her to fetch Jeff from Vietnam so he could serve her every Bum Boated whim rather than saving lives?

  155. Calico
    January 17th, 2012 at 4:32 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#111):
    Re: RMMD, I too wonder how Rex does it. He just sits back, performs no medicine whatsoever, and people practically trip over each other to give this guy stuff!
    (Except Foster, who wanted Rex to have his money so badly he threw himself down the stairs)
    Don’t they have a gift boat already – a yacht? Jesus, the guy can throw a Potlatch!

  156. Sans Sense
    January 17th, 2012 at 4:37 pm [Reply]

    FW: I am all atwitter to see how Batuik ties this Title IX storyline into the missing vendos…

  157. bats :[
    January 17th, 2012 at 4:37 pm [Reply]

  158. Ride dem haunches
    January 17th, 2012 at 4:39 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#155): Take that back! I saw Rex give that OD girl smelling salts just the other day!

  159. ArchieNemesis
    January 17th, 2012 at 4:41 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#127): For me, as a kid, the gadgets with fanciful tiny descriptions were the whole point of reading Dick Tracy. I can’t tell you how disappointed I am that the Dick Tracy team now uses arrow callouts for objects other than wrist TVs and other cool technology.

  160. The Ridger
    January 17th, 2012 at 4:42 pm [Reply]

    FW: You know, Ann, Waterstones and Harrods may be able to do away with the apostrophe, but that’s because they’re proper nouns. “Girls’ basketball team” still needs one, and so does “the boys team”. Unless of course you’d say “women basketball team” and “the men team”. Which you might, I suppose.

  161. Calico
    January 17th, 2012 at 4:43 pm [Reply]

    @Ride dem haunches (#158):
    Oh right! A tip of the hat to modern medicine, right? ; )
    At least he didn’t have to open his jar of leeches for that one, or treat a wart with a cut raw potato.

  162. Rocky Stoneaxe
    January 17th, 2012 at 4:44 pm [Reply]

    @Sans Sense (#149): Captain Morgan’s slogan is: To Life, Love and Loot. Does Commodore Morgan have a similarly cool slogan?

  163. Marc
    January 17th, 2012 at 4:44 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#115): Well my first year of hockey, I was four years old and my coach’s only experience was that he was an ex army drill sergeant with an interest in the sport. He got all of his drills from a book designed for junior players and then got angry when the bunch of 4 and 5 year olds he was coaching couldn’t do them right. So I look at it as he attempted to teach us the game from the top down. Instead of working on basic fundamental skills, he wanted us to be proficient in running the 2-1-2 forecheck.

  164. The Ridger
    January 17th, 2012 at 4:51 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#124): I utterly adore him. I have all his books. And I admit that I first got that jolt of otherness from reading his book (Murther and Walking Spirits) where the American rebels were the bad guys and the Loyalists were the good guys.

  165. Hibbleton
    January 17th, 2012 at 5:07 pm [Reply]

    @Marc (#163): Sounds like a premise for Disney movie starring Dwayne Johnson.

  166. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    January 17th, 2012 at 5:13 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#162):

    As a matter of fact, he does! And it is a loving reference to June!

    “Lady’s stacked and that’s the fact. Ain’t holding nothing back – she’s a brick house.”

  167. Liam
    January 17th, 2012 at 5:18 pm [Reply]

    Archie-You can start by taking the guy out of your trunk.

    Dick Tracy-Yes, a bow tie. Bow ties are cool.

  168. Sans Sense
    January 17th, 2012 at 5:19 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#162): Slogans require a certain level of self-awareness that I can’t imagine Rex having. If he did it would be a WC Fields quote, “After two days in hospital I took a turn for the nurse.”

  169. TheDiva
    January 17th, 2012 at 5:19 pm [Reply]

    @Austria (#120): Elly is so perpetually surprised by children behaving like children that I can only conclude she not only has had no contact with other children prior to becoming a mother, she was never one herself. She must have emerged fully grown from her father’s skull like a dumpy, nagging Athena.

  170. El Nino de la Gringo
    January 17th, 2012 at 5:23 pm [Reply]

    @The Ridger (#160): Thank you for highlighting one of my pet punctuation peeves: girls’ and boys’ basketball.
    As a former copy editor, I have debated this ad nauseum with sportswriters I know. They cannot explain why sports departments insist on use “boys/girls basketball” but not “men/women basketball.” And they always fall back on “that’s the way it’s always been done.”

  171. Baka Gaijin
    January 17th, 2012 at 5:28 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#167): Bow ties are cool if you’re Orville Redenbacher. Bwah ha ha ha! I crack myself up. Orville Redenbacher hasn’t been cool since 1923.

  172. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    January 17th, 2012 at 5:33 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#147): Hey, be nice to the blogging software — or risk its terrible wrath!
    I’ve been nice for the last … gee, I dunno; three or four? … years! And what do I get? Snippy little slaps on the wrist! But okay. I’ll give it another chance, but only because you said so.

  173. Uncle Lumpy
    January 17th, 2012 at 5:34 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#171):

    Bow ties are cool if you’re David McCallum. But then, anything is cool if you’re David McCallum.

  174. Mibbitmaker
    January 17th, 2012 at 5:38 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#101): The panel border was just an artistic choice, really. I liked the idea of the main panel above (with a joke in and of itself) to have a dominant border, and the additional visual punchline to have a weaker one. Also, I wanted to do a panel within a panel with the worm (if he were in the panel proper, he’d be facing the wrong way!).

    Pen-wise, no Rapidographs present. Mainly Marvy caligraphy, Penstix (F, EF, and/or EEF), Pilot Fineliner, Marvy LePen, Pentel Color (black) Pen Fine Point, Pentel Sign Pen, ZIG Millennium, and a Prismacolor non-photo blue pencil for the pre-inked drawing. Some of them aren’t archival, so I photocopy afterwards.

  175. Uncle Lumpy
    January 17th, 2012 at 5:39 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#172):

    Hey, it’s not you — it’s Kim Kardashian Sex Tape Cheapest and her BFF Tramadol Store Online. Those gals post like the wind!

  176. Sequitur
    January 17th, 2012 at 5:40 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#173): David McCallum makes cool cool.

  177. exapno
    January 17th, 2012 at 5:42 pm [Reply]

    @The Ridger (#160):

    Sorry Ridger – It is GIRLS Basketball – no apostrophe. I umpire Girls Softball, not Girl’s. It is a plural , not posessive.

    And yes in all school level sports, they officially differentiate between ‘girls’ and ‘boys’ sports – sometimes even when there is no corresponding team for the other gender. I also officiate Girls Volleyball, and it is called that officially even though there is no ‘boys volleyball’ in our area.

    But they don’t call it ‘boys baseball’ or ‘boys football’ – it is ASSUMED those are male sports. And quite frankly sometimes you will see a female kicker in HS football.

  178. Peanut Gallery
    January 17th, 2012 at 5:48 pm [Reply]

    @Marc (#46): H&L – The outlines look thicker than they used to be. Maybe the artist just switched to a different kind of pen?

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#99): FC – Those aren’t mere ordinary Bedtime Tales. Those are terrifying Bedtime TALES!

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#142): This little oversight is a blessing in disguise. Once Y2K was over, I thought I’d never have another opportunity to link to this classic.

  179. Sequitur
    January 17th, 2012 at 5:53 pm [Reply]

    @exapno (#177):

    And quite frankly sometimes you will see a female kicker in HS football.

    Or even in the movies like in Necessary Roughness.

  180. Sans Sense
    January 17th, 2012 at 6:00 pm [Reply]

    SF: I hope Ted meets up with the cute girl from his office before Sally. She’d love the Deathstar.

  181. Sans Sense
    January 17th, 2012 at 6:03 pm [Reply]

    @Sans Sense (#180): WHich is what he calls his penis, right?

  182. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    January 17th, 2012 at 6:04 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#178): Those aren’t mere ordinary Bedtime Tales.
    Ah, but I said “tale.” Seemed the best way to make the low pun without resorting to misspellings, quotation marks, or circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each one, explaining what each one was.

    @Mibbitmaker (#174): Aha! Well, the lines seemed of consistent width, so I wondered. I used Rapidographs (or other technical pens) for a few years, then one day I found Pilot Pen Sticks, and let myself think they used permanent ink (unlike the old Flair and other felt-tip ink, which was already turning color in my older drawings), so I used them for a while. I still have a technical fountain pen or two, though I generally have to go through the whole cleaning ritual before using them. I actually try and do as little real drawing as I can, and do as much as possible within Photoshop. Sometimes I do every bit on the computer, including the very first drawings. What I should do now is draw more. I think some about doing a webcomic, just to force myself to produce regularly.

  183. Sequitur
    January 17th, 2012 at 6:08 pm [Reply]

    @Sans Sense (#181): I thought it was Yoda. Small but powerful.

  184. Popamatic
    January 17th, 2012 at 6:08 pm [Reply]

    MT: It seems we will get to see Butch hunt. Is it too much to ask that we see him bonking into trees, falling into creeks, and getting tangled in dense bushes? All the time quail are roaming around undisturbed.

  185. The Rixter of Dibley
    January 17th, 2012 at 6:12 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#115): Maybe she had an incomplete thought: “I learned my basketball from the ground up shoes of the best players.”

  186. bats :[
    January 17th, 2012 at 6:24 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#171): and he hasn’t drawn a breath since 1995.

  187. Sans Sense
    January 17th, 2012 at 6:25 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#183): I am pretty sure a Yoda is prosthetic…

  188. Sans Sense
    January 17th, 2012 at 6:26 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#186): But he was the bee’s knees in 1923! Or is it bees’ knees? Discuss.

  189. Der Schnärkïnätör
    January 17th, 2012 at 6:28 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#183): ..and green….

  190. Mibbitmaker
    January 17th, 2012 at 6:29 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#182): I convinced myself for the longest time that the Penstix markers were archival — it says “india ink” on it, after all — until it was pointed out that the ink gets brownish with time. The odd thing is, whichever pens I was using whenever, I notice that some original art has had faded lines in it since 1992 — but my originals from the ’80s (I started with art pens regularly in 1984) still look like when I’d drawn them.

    I’m pretty much old school with the drawing, though I often wish I could afford to get Photoshop, or something like that, to put technical line shading in my editorial cartoons, to give them that ’70s Wright-Oliphant-MacNelly look (their use of now-defunct duoshade). I had been photocopying duoshade tone, using white-out on some of the copies, and copying it again, then cutting parts to double-stick tape them in for the ’70s effect. Too painstaking.

  191. Der Schnärkïnätör
    January 17th, 2012 at 6:30 pm [Reply]

    @Der Schnärkïnätör (#189): …with long scrawny hairs all over…

  192. Señor Tortilla
    January 17th, 2012 at 6:40 pm [Reply]

    So, in today’s Luann, Ann is supposedly bisexual, so TJ is supposedly straight? I guess that would work.

  193. Mibbitmaker
    January 17th, 2012 at 6:41 pm [Reply]

    Mary Worth is now plotting her final takeover, which she had been patiently waiting for for years. Now is the perfect time: her rival is struggling a bit, and now absent her former homebase in syndication. While Mary is at the top of her self-adoring powers, now — now — is the time to strike!

    Mary Worth is now, finally, ready to battle Oprah Winfrey for the long-held office of ~
    QUEEN of the WORLD!

    (….did I just feel a chill…?)

  194. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    January 17th, 2012 at 6:42 pm [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#190): There is a free graphics program out there that has a lot of Photoshop’s capabilities. Are you on a PC platform? I think it’s called The Gimp, or else GIMP is in all caps or some such. I’ve had Photoshop, so I never really learned much about it. Also, perhaps you could buy someone’s outdated Photoshop in an older version that doesn’t do as much as present-day, but more than no Photoshop at all.

    I used to have various Chartpak and Geoex and Zipatone sheets that I’d use. (Geoex was a strange one — rub-off, instead of cut and stick.) Around 1980, a friend got hold of some Duotone, and used it in a set of comics he was drawing. It was interesting stuff to play with. It cost money, too. You could see in some pieces of art that Wood, for instance, would cut out a piece, just for some detail like a helmet. Thrifty man.

  195. commodorejohn
    January 17th, 2012 at 6:51 pm [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#190): If you can get a used (or, erm, “used”) copy of Photoshop, I’ve found it to be more than satisfactory for the purpose. I use Photoshop 7, as it’s nice and light but still very full-featured.

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#194): The GIMP is awful. Just awful. It’s typical Linux software, in that the backend functionality (the stuff programmers enjoy writing) is all aces, but the user interface has been slapped together by people with absolutely no clue how to build one and too much pride to simply copy Photoshop directly. I’d avoid it unless there isn’t any better alternative.

  196. odinthor
    January 17th, 2012 at 7:07 pm [Reply]

    #116. NS.

    [...] I feel like Keats on first looking into Shelley’s Chapman. Or something like that, silent on a peak in Darien.

    Silent?“, he thought, raising an eyebrow.

  197. The Ridger
    January 17th, 2012 at 7:08 pm [Reply]

    @exapno (#177): But why? Would you umpire women softball? Or women’s?

  198. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    January 17th, 2012 at 7:27 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#195): In that case, even the limited versions of Photoshop are useful enough for most purposes. “Photoshop Elements” is one such.

  199. Frasier Crane
    January 17th, 2012 at 7:35 pm [Reply]

    DT – It’s sad to see that Charlie Villanueva turned to a life of crime after crippling injuries to his ring and pinky fingers forced his retirement from the NBA.

  200. The Ridger
    January 17th, 2012 at 7:38 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#195): Oh, thank you! I hate GIMP and everybody at work makes me feel stupid. I even prefer Paint (and I know that’s a horrible program)

  201. Frank Lee Meidere
    January 17th, 2012 at 7:39 pm [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#190): Adding my own 1.51 Yen worth here, I have to agree with commodorejohn. Along with its unbelievably clunky interface, GIMP is limited, somewhat bizarre, and frustratingly illogical in many ways.

    However, it’s still the best program around, however, if you can’t get Photoshop.

  202. Frank Lee Meidere
    January 17th, 2012 at 7:46 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#201): And yes…I did put in two “however”s in that last sentence. It was on purpose. I did it because … look over there! WOLVES!

  203. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 17th, 2012 at 8:04 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#201): If you are running Linux, GIMP is really the only option I’m aware of. It is a learning cliff, rather than a curve, but when you get to the top you can do most anything you need, I believe.

  204. Trillian
    January 17th, 2012 at 8:18 pm [Reply]

    @wossname (#26): He also forgot about Chekhov’s grass seed.

  205. Mibbitmaker
    January 17th, 2012 at 8:21 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#194): I had the chance to play alittle bit with Chartpak tones in the ’90s. I liked a couple occasions where I overlapped the tones in spots to achieve two shades of “gray” in the cartoons. Depending on which pattern used, though, there could sometimes be an unintended pattern in the overlap. I did pretty well with the diagonal line shading one.

  206. Sgt. Stoned
    January 17th, 2012 at 8:31 pm [Reply]

    MW: Mary’s look of sanctimonious self-satisfaction in panel #2 is priceless.

    Luann: T.J. did say that his “type” is everything that Ann is not, and Ann is obviously very female. Therefore, her conclusion that T.J. is gay is logical. Flawlessly logical.

    DT: Note that the bad guy Cueball is also going non-alcoholic.

  207. Frank Lee Meidere
    January 17th, 2012 at 8:36 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#203): I can do anything I need. But my wife uses Photoshop a lot, and there are things GIMP simply doesn’t do. For my purposes, though, GIMP usually does the job. Also, my little netbook will run GIMP, whereas Photoshop would probably leave it a smoking ruin.

    (And thank you for not using “learning curve” incorrectly. I’m tired of the near-universal tendency to say “steep learning curve” to mean “difficult.” The only time I’ve heard it used properly was when a character on Bones said that Temperance had a “steep learning curve.”)

  208. commodorejohn
    January 17th, 2012 at 8:59 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#203): The frustrating thing about the “learning curve” argument, though, is it doesn’t need to be like that. Photoshop (and Paint Shop Pro, and probably others I’ve never even heard of) had perfectly workable solutions to some really basic things the GIMP fouls up on before the latter was even released. If they’d just suck it up and copy Photoshop wholesale, they’d be usable without even having to work at it. Instead they keep trying to reinvent the wheel with things like “single-window mode” (when everybody’s been clamoring for a proper MDI for years now.) Even today, it still makes obvious mistakes like opening document windows so that they overlap with control palettes. There’s just no good excuse for it, and while you can, I’m sure, learn to live with it, I’d much rather be spending my time in an image editor editing images.

  209. commodorejohn
    January 17th, 2012 at 9:12 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#207): I dunno about Photoshop CS, but I’ve been using Photoshop 7 on my Eee (1.6GHz, 2GB RAM) with no trouble at all (and before that, a shoddy P4 laptop with 512MB RAM, on which it was still eminently usable.)

  210. Señor Tortilla
    January 17th, 2012 at 9:19 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#195): Yeah, a lot of things don’t work on Mac (or a MacBook) because certain keys (Control or Option, I don’t remember which) has a different functionality. That and when you click on a tool, it doesn’t automatically do it, you have to DOUBLE-CLICK it. The Mac port, overall, is awful.

    No wonder it doesn’t cost anything.

  211. Liam
    January 17th, 2012 at 9:22 pm [Reply]

    Luann-So your type is a flat chested ugly looking slob.

  212. The Rixter of Dibley
    January 17th, 2012 at 9:26 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#143): Wait! Did you just mention “captive”? Ah! So, for our next Mary Worth adventure, what if she and Dr. Jeff are captured by Somali pirates and held for ransom? How much would someone pay to ransom Mary? What is Mary worth?

  213. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 17th, 2012 at 9:28 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#209): Photoshop Elements seems to work ok on my netbook (Ace Aspire, WinXPm Atom 1.6Ghz, 2GB ram) – Frank may not be giving his netbook sufficient credit.

    I dual boot to Linux Mint, and I’m rather a Linux chauvinist, so I don’t play with the windows side much. Nor, to be truthful, do I play with graphics much, so my opinions on the subject are of seriously limited use.

  214. Artist formerly known as Ben
    January 17th, 2012 at 9:29 pm [Reply]

    @exapno (#177):

    Sorry Ridger – It is GIRLS Basketball – no apostrophe. I umpire Girls Softball, not Girl’s. It is a plural , not posessive.

    Shouldn’t there be an apostrophe after the s? That is, it seems like a plural possessive to me.

  215. Frank Lee Meidere
    January 17th, 2012 at 9:32 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#208): There’s also a bizarre “floating layer” that keeps appearing in GIMP. You’re right about the fact that most of GIMP’s problems come from pathologically ignoring well-established methods.

  216. Frank Lee Meidere
    January 17th, 2012 at 9:34 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#213): I don’t do much with graphics, either. Some playing around for Powerpoint, but that’s about it. My wife, on the other hand, lives and breaths graphics. Along with some oxygen and stuff, of course.

  217. Frank Lee Meidere
    January 17th, 2012 at 9:35 pm [Reply]

  218. Artist formerly known as Ben
    January 17th, 2012 at 9:37 pm [Reply]

    @Hibbleton (#122):
    “This is madness!”
    “No. This! Is! LoFo!”

  219. Uncle Lumpy
    January 17th, 2012 at 9:38 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#208):

    I second your motion on GIMP — it has some nice functions once you figure them out, but the UI isn’t efficient or even consistent. I used its “Snip” function a lot when Spiff and I put together “Random Dick”, but haven’t touched it since.

    I use PaintShop Pro when I sub for Josh — it has more of a photographic than graphic-arts bias, but it’s good value for money, and does the simple things I need with a minimum of fuss.

    My experience buying used and surplus software on eBay has been excellent. Sometimes I buy used so I can upgrade cheap instead of buying expensive (Acrobat 6 –> X) or because I don’t need the latest bells and whistles (PaintShop Pro 6), sometimes I get a surplus OEM copy to try out something I’m not sure I need (Dragon, OneNote). I check the seller ratings, of course, and I’ve never gotten burned.

    As long as I’m geeking out here, let me say I get really irritated when software manufacturers use a Windows upgrade (XP –> 7; Vista meh) to force you into upgrading their software too (I’m looking straight at you, Intuit). I run these “sunset” applications in “XP Mode” — a virtual-machine package that gives you a hypervisor and complete XP Pro SP2 (SP3 meh) running on the same hardware as Windows 7 Pro, at the same time. Things like USB handling, Ctrl-Alt-Delete, and drive mounting are a little tricksy, but I can keep running Sibelius 5, the Berkeley Service Manuals for my car, and other good old stuff at least until Microsoft sunsets Windows 7.

  220. Droopy Says
    January 17th, 2012 at 9:39 pm [Reply]

    @The Rixter of Dibley (#212): And how much would the pirates want to keep her?

  221. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 17th, 2012 at 9:47 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#217): To play devil’s advocate here, apparently it is functionally an adjective here, so the apostrophe would not be needed. It is not softball possessed by girls, it is softball as played by girls. Also, the “they have always done it this way” argument does have some weight. If the players, coaches and athletic departments call it “girls softball”, well, from a lexicographically descriptive point of view, that’s what it is called. In the end you have to defer to the people actually using the language.

    Just don’t make me watch the stuff.

  222. Artist formerly known as Ben
    January 17th, 2012 at 9:49 pm [Reply]

    @Horace Broon (#59):

    S4th: Is “paying to apply for jobs” a real thing that people do, or has the Butterfly Effect of Sally and Ted not getting together somehow made the economy even worse?

    Sadly, that is a condition that some companies inflict on job applicants. And that’s all I’m going to say about that.

  223. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    January 17th, 2012 at 9:52 pm [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#220): I’d imagine a certain “Ransom of Red Chief” outcome.

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#221): A quick internet search reveals that the sports-team apostrophe is a contentious issue among grammar geeks. One article connects the team descriptors to such phrases as “farmers market”–when the farmers do not own the market–or “writers strike.” The problem might be that the “girls” is an adjective, not a possessive noun, but if one continues the pattern, “women/men basketball” doesn’t work, and so “girls’/boys’” creates a parallel situation.

    A couple of articles end up in the grammar policy of last resort: “Pick one and be consistent.”

  224. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 17th, 2012 at 9:52 pm [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#220): You are thinking a “Ransom of Red Chief” scenario? THAT would be fun.

  225. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    January 17th, 2012 at 9:54 pm [Reply]

    Perhaps our own wossname, Precisiona copy editor extraordinaire, can weigh in on the apostrophe controversy?

  226. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 17th, 2012 at 9:56 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#223):
    1. RoRC – Beat me to it. Phui. Missed it by that much!
    2. Yup. Last resort. Works for me.

  227. commodorejohn
    January 17th, 2012 at 9:57 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#213): Yeah, I know. I’ve been trying myself to switch for years now, but I keep giving up and going back to XP. I even ran MintPPC 9 on a PowerBook for a while this past November, trying to force myself to not fall back on Windows, but the GIMP was the application that killed that prospect. There’s just no real clue in the community about how to make a consistent, well-designed UI, so everybody runs off doing their own approach and usually winding up at somewhere around 50% right (for, of course, wildly differing sets of correct and incorrect answers to the same problems,) and direct efforts to improve usability generally seem to come down to cargo-cult copying of ideas from OSX without paying attention to why they work in the context of that system. It’s just too much trouble trying to get things to work in any way that I’m even halfway comfortable with…

  228. Droopy Says
    January 17th, 2012 at 10:01 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#224): Another fun scenario would be Phil Roth’s “Our Gang.” Imagine everyone on Earth lining up to explain why they killed Mary Worth, followed by Mary in Hell, campaigning for Satan’s job while she explains the pure evil that motivated her every meddle.

  229. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 17th, 2012 at 10:04 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#225): Thought experiment: Suppose you were to train dogs to play a version of softball. What would you call it? I suggest you would probably call the game “dog softball” rather than “dogs softball” or “dog’s softball”. Using dog in the adjectival sense.

    If that is valid, then the proper usage would be “girl softball” and “boy basketball”. But then, nobody does say that, so I think usage wins.

  230. The Ridger
    January 17th, 2012 at 10:07 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#223): Hey, people don’t want to write the apostrophe, that’s fine with me. It’s a misbegotten bit of orthography with no consistency and no real purpose. But if “girls” is an adjective why isn’t “women’s”? If “veterans hospital” is an adjective, why isn’t “children’s”?

    The problem is that in regular nouns the possessives, both of ‘em, and the plural sound alike.

  231. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 17th, 2012 at 10:09 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#227): Yeah, there are always a couple of apps that you just can’t get a decent equivalent in Linux, dammit. Which is why most of my machines are dual boot. But you can’t just give up and sign your soul over to MS or Apple without a fight. Call me orgulous.

  232. The Ridger
    January 17th, 2012 at 10:10 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#229): You might call it “dog softball” because it would be a new(ish) sport. But when Fido’s team went up against Fluffy’s I’ll bet you say the dogs’ team was playing the cats’.

    But let it be. Agree to disagree, etc. It’s just an idiom, and by definition they don’t make sense.

  233. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 17th, 2012 at 10:18 pm [Reply]

    @The Ridger (#232): Agree to disagree? Hell, I was prepared to fight this out to the pain! But, oh well, I guess it IS getting late.

    And I don’t follow sports anyway.

  234. Frank Lee Meidere
    January 17th, 2012 at 10:22 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#221): I can see the adjective argument. For instance, “wine tasters convention” does make more sense than “wine tasters’ convention” (although results on Google are mixed, with no analysis of either choice.) But the parallel structure with “men’s/women’s [enter name of sports game here]” seems compelling, too.

    I think I’m going to have to resign myself to accepting the conventional standard (“Girls Sports,” not “Girls’ Sports”), as dictated by the sports people themselves. For one thing, unless it appears in a front-page headline, I’m not likely to see it. For another thing, people who can say, “You’ve got to give 110%,” obviously live by a different set of rules, and must therefore be given deference.

  235. Frank Lee Meidere
    January 17th, 2012 at 10:27 pm [Reply]

    @The Ridger (#230):

    It’s a misbegotten bit of orthography with no consistency and no real purpose.

    Shirt ripping. Turning green. Losing ability to use the first person pronoun.

  236. Peanut Gallery
    January 17th, 2012 at 10:27 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#229): What if you trained blind dogs to play softball? Would you still have to take the job at the gas station?

  237. Chip Whittle
    January 17th, 2012 at 10:37 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#201):

    However, [GIMP's] still the best program around, however, if you can’t get Photoshop.

    I believe you’re overlooking “throwing your computer off a cliff, shooting balls of paint at the remains, and bringing clients to stare at the wreckage in the moments before you shove them off, plummeting to a horrible death” as preferable to GIMP, especially on Linux. Plus, it’s the only way Donna A. Lewis draws!

  238. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 17th, 2012 at 10:37 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#236): Is that job still open? Let me buff up my resume.

  239. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 17th, 2012 at 10:40 pm [Reply]

    @Chip Whittle (#237): Get off the fence, Chip! No equivocation now. How do you REALLY feel about GIMP on Linux? I’m sensing that you don’t care for it much.

  240. Sequitur
    January 17th, 2012 at 10:43 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#236): Actually, it would be easier to train blind dogs to play basketball. All you’d have to do is tie Snausages to the hoop and the dogs could smell their way to a lay up.

    The only problem would be dogs hanging from the net by their teeth.

  241. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    January 17th, 2012 at 10:44 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#229): It doesn’t even need to be an experiment: dog fighting. (Or is that something different? I’m all grammatically discombobulated now.)

    @The Ridger (#230): I don’t know what the answer is; all the various lines of reasoning make good sense to me. And whenever I have to write one of those phrases (which, thank goodness, isn’t often), I struggle over how to write it.

    Good English is hard.

  242. 8th Man Fan
    January 17th, 2012 at 10:47 pm [Reply]

    Re: Graphics programs, how about Paint.NET? It’s Windows only, but it’s free and has a nicer-looking interface than GIMP. Haven’t used it much, but I’ve seen some positive comments on it.

    MW: Their hair is mussed, their faces flushed, they can’t stop smiling…Oh my God, could this be pillow talk?

  243. Sequitur
    January 17th, 2012 at 10:52 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#241): Gooder English is harder.

  244. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 17th, 2012 at 10:57 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#241): Aren’t you a pedagogue of some sort? Don’t let this Hamlet-like vacillation get out, for goodness sake! If your students sense weakness they will be on you like villainous WOLVES!

    Appeal to authority is the best tactic. Any questions, throw a copy of the Harbrace Handbook at ‘em.

  245. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    January 17th, 2012 at 11:05 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#215): GIMP’s pathological need to “be different from Photoshop” has a familiar ring to it. After sixteen or so years of using QuarkXPress for layout, I finally bowed to the inevitable and started learning InDesign, and it seemed clear from the get-go that if Quark did something thisaway, then InDesign was just gonna have to do it thataway or maybe some other damn way nobody ever saw coming. Perhaps there are legal reasons (like copyright, trademark, or patent considerations) that things have to be different along so many axes, but after maybe three years of using ID, things are almost feeling right. It’s almost irksome that when I have to work on an old Quark document, my fingers still fly through the shortcuts.

  246. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 17th, 2012 at 11:11 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#245): Isn’t it odd though, that Open Office, and other MS Office clones you find in Linux distros go to great lengths to be keystroke compatible with Word, Excel, etc.. They succeed pretty well, too. I’ve often wondered how they got away with it, legally speaking.

  247. Frank Lee Meidere
    January 17th, 2012 at 11:11 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#245): Fortunately, I only picked up InDesign some years after having last used Quark. I recall thinking that things were in the wrong place, so to speak, but nothing specific. Now InDesign just seems natural. And I sat in on a class of the newest version of InDesign and it’s absolutely lovely.

  248. Poteet
    January 17th, 2012 at 11:37 pm [Reply]

    @The Rixter of Dibley (#212): And how long would it take before Jeff, though we might not see it, offered the pirates a large sum of cash to make sure Mary had a fatal accident while in their custody? And how long would it take for the pirates to figure out who they were REALLY dealing with and tell Jeff “Nerts to that, you take The Great She-Demon back NOW!”?

  249. Poteet
    January 17th, 2012 at 11:54 pm [Reply]

    MW — With deep apologies to Bernstein…

    I’m heroic!
    I’m heroic!
    I’m heroic and stoic and great!
    With a conscience
    That is BIG-ger than a din-ner plate!
    Tralalalalala-laLA-lala!

    I’m a genius!
    Such a genius!
    Catching perps is so easy for me!
    I’ll be given
    A parade for saving EM-ily!
    Tralalalalala-laLA-lala!

    See the burly perp in that copmobile!
    I’m the one who put him in stir!
    Listen to me purr, listen to me purr, listen to me purr, listen to me PURRR!

    I’m a wonder!
    I’m amazing!
    Keep on gazing at beautiful ME!
    I am God!
    And it’s time for bending your KNEE!

  250. Sequitur
    January 18th, 2012 at 12:04 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#249): [clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap]

    Hey! No jokes about the CLAP!

    Good one, Queen Poteet!

  251. Droopy Says
    January 18th, 2012 at 1:37 am [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#92): What’s really funny about Evans is that he gets upset by criticism and won’t socialize with people who criticise him, yet he thinks it’s normal for highschool girls to band together even though all they do is cut one another down. Does this make Tiffany, Luann, Krystal and Bernice more mature or more unreal than their creator?

  252. Droopy Says
    January 18th, 2012 at 1:54 am [Reply]

    The Amusing Spiderman: MaryJane, just keep talking to Thor. Sooner or later the boredom will draw your husband like a magnet.

    Pluggers: And then Pluggers scratch their bald spots and say “Is this why kids keep talking about apps? Because apple-flavored whipped cream is their new thing?”

    Mary Worth: A moral compass? Wouldn’t an actual compass be more useful? It might help this strip head straight for another plot, instead of meandering across the Sanctimonius Sea.

    Mock Trail: You know what would look great here? Some actual hunting with this hunting dog who is trained to help hunters. These are people with rifles or shotguns and they shoot animals, and part of training a hunting dog most likely involves training the dog not to freak out when the guns make bangy noises.

  253. Poteet
    January 18th, 2012 at 1:54 am [Reply]

    Reading all these well-informed and experienced comments about computer programs gives me a very faint vague idea of what it might be like for Mark Trail to accidentally overhear other people discussing sex.

  254. Cloudbuster
    January 18th, 2012 at 2:19 am [Reply]

    @exapno (#177): “But they don’t call it ‘boys baseball’ or ‘boys football’ – it is ASSUMED those are male sports. And quite frankly sometimes you will see a female kicker in HS football.”

    For girls it’s Lingerie Football. And I feel very cheated that when I was a young man there was no Lingerie Football team at my high school.

  255. bunivasal
    January 18th, 2012 at 2:22 am [Reply]

    I didn’t read it as homophobic. Just that our Ms. Eiffel considers herself to be an exciting heterosexual woman, and that the opposite of her would be a boring homosexual man.

    You know, in a world where “exciting” means “sex predator”.

  256. Poteet
    January 18th, 2012 at 2:29 am [Reply]

    1/18 MW — I’ll have what she’s having.

  257. Poteet
    January 18th, 2012 at 2:30 am [Reply]

    LUANN — The “exact opposite” of alive is dead. We can hope.

  258. ElkMeadow
    January 18th, 2012 at 2:33 am [Reply]

    MW Oh, great. Dr. Jeff is breaking the fourth wall to lecture US! “When children are involved, adults must be smart…and step in!” So I take it that this is all a slam again Penn State? So why are we being punished with this endless praise to Mary Worth?

    RMMD Oh, great, Foster left everything to Rex. Nothing for Mabel, of course, or to his kids or anything. Iron-tight will, that cannot be contested. Even though he changed it moments after Rex left the hospital and before he went and fell down the stairs. Got witnesses and everything. Sort of like this one woman I know of, whose caretaker came into her hospital with her lawyer and her pastor and had the will rewritten and quit claim deeds signed in her favor, and no one contested it, not even her own daughter.

    Luann Okay, TJ is fired, but Anne’s forgetting she signed some paper with TJ, which probably won’t allow him to be fired.

    FW Just when you think it can’t get any stupider, it does.

    Crank And those nice police officers will follow her all the way home and let her off with a warning.

  259. ElkMeadow
    January 18th, 2012 at 2:34 am [Reply]

    @ElkMeadow (#258):

    I forgot to mention Jeff’s righteous pointing finger, borrowed from Elly Patterson.

  260. Poteet
    January 18th, 2012 at 2:36 am [Reply]

    A3G — Wait a minute — Ruby is only just now getting around to who the father is, and Lu Ann is only now getting around to asking? What were they talking about for the other five hours?

  261. Comcis Fan
    January 18th, 2012 at 2:46 am [Reply]

    @ElkMeadow (#258): My thoughts exactly on MW. It’s about Penn State and Joe Paterno, not Emily Smith. The clumsy part of the gloating is that few people would have done differently than Mary if they thought they saw a kidnapped kid in a restaurant, other than they might have called the cops before engaging the waitress in a drawn-out conversation about it.

  262. Poteet
    January 18th, 2012 at 2:46 am [Reply]

    MT — I’m willing to believe the story about the blind dog, especially if believing it will make this story move faster. What I don’t believe is that weird-looking pickup.

  263. ElkMeadow
    January 18th, 2012 at 2:49 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#257):

    Perfect!

  264. This Guy
    January 18th, 2012 at 2:51 am [Reply]

    1/18
    Luann: Ha ha, success at last! TJ got Brad’s old job, didn’t fulfill his responsibilities, was constantly insubordinate and got fired. Revenge is a dish best served covered so you can’t tell it’s actually revenge.

  265. Poteet
    January 18th, 2012 at 2:51 am [Reply]

    S-M — If we must go to Asgard, could we make the Hairdresser of the Norse Gods our first stop? Seriously, MJ’s hideous ‘do has got to go.

  266. Frank Lee Meidere
    January 18th, 2012 at 2:53 am [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#251):

    Does this make Tiffany, Luann, Krystal and Bernice more mature or more unreal than their creator?

    God, what a choice to have to make.

  267. Uncle Lumpy
    January 18th, 2012 at 3:11 am [Reply]

    @ElkMeadow (#258):

    Even though he changed it moments after Rex left the hospital and before he went and fell down the stairs.

    And drank himself to death. Yeah, the wife and kids don’t have a chance. This just in: a late-breaking codicil gives it all to the Easter Bunny.

  268. ElkMeadow
    January 18th, 2012 at 3:18 am [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#267):

    Notice that he just died a few hours earlier, while Rex was driving around, looking for Kelly’s party, and Foster is already in a casket at the funeral home.

  269. Mibbitmaker
    January 18th, 2012 at 3:41 am [Reply]

    Mother Goose & Grimm: TRUE FABLE!!! TRUE FABLE!!!…

  270. Dale
    January 18th, 2012 at 3:50 am [Reply]

    If this were an actual hunting trip rather than a dog demo,
    Mark Trail would have a loaded shotgun cradled in his arms.

  271. Mr. O'Malley
    January 18th, 2012 at 5:22 am [Reply]

    The funny thing about people complaining about Waterstones dropping their apostrophe is they have no objection to Harrods, which dropped its apostrophe years ago.

    Shakespeare never used apostrophes for possessives. He used to write things like “The Duke of Glousters purse” and “His Neighbours wife” and nobody seemed to care.

  272. gleeb
    January 18th, 2012 at 7:43 am [Reply]

    ‘shaft: So, has she forgotten the rules of the road, or does she just not care?

    Dick: Cueball, yogi master, can bilocate! And hes doesn’t mind the cold even in short shirtsleeves!

    Rex: Good, Rex can use the money for bass boat polish.

  273. Liam
    January 18th, 2012 at 7:53 am [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#92):

    Fine, he won’t have sex in comics but how about humor.

  274. Frank Lee Meidere
    January 18th, 2012 at 10:55 am [Reply]

    @Liam (#273):

    Fine, he won’t have sex in comics but how about humor.

    I suspect that, like a cat with a can opener, he’s in favour of it in principle, but lacks the ability to use it.

  275. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    January 18th, 2012 at 1:40 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#110): *gigglez

  276. Harold
    January 18th, 2012 at 11:01 pm [Reply]

    Just throwing out there that it isn’t homophobic. He said the exact opposite of you. Being a she, her exact opposite is a he. #AdjustsNerdGlassesSmugly

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