Archive: Dick Tracy

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Luann, 4/30/17

Despite its longstanding and frankly creepy obsession with the outer limits of bathroom behavior, Luann has shown no interest in exploring similar frontiers in sexuality.

Sad, because a well-placed pair of hooves would’ve made today’s strip.

Pickles, 4/30/17

Though if you had asked me which strip I thought would be first to feature cross-species sexytimes, I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t have said Pickles.

Dick Tracy, 4/30/17

I’ll willingly admit that Dick Tracy‘s all-in dive into anime/cosplay/furry culture has left me in the dust. I have no idea who “Svengoolie” or “Chimetra” are, for example, or whose trademark the realistically-drawn “Connie Mail Wong” is trying to infringe/evade/appropriate/respect.

But I think that third panel holds the key to the Margies’ otherwise incomprehensible scam: their Cosplay Contest Grand Prize isn’t $10,000.00 like everybody thinks, but a cool ten bucks to the third decimal place. Those clever Margies will pocket the difference and laugh at the gullible rubes who will, in the grand Dick Tracy tradition, tear them limb from limb.

–Uncle Lumpy

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Mary Worth, 4/25/17

Oh ho, it looks like we’ve been delightfully misled for the duration of this storyline so far. The “cigarettes” that the Hoosiers have been playfully bantering about ever since they came on board? Just a code word for other ladies that Derek wants to do sex stuff with! The “so in love” attitude? A facade covering their seething resentment of one another! Derek thought he could make this last-ditch effort save his marriage work, but now that he’s seen the goddess that is Entertainer Esme, he knows that he could never be a one-woman man. I mean, look at that skin-tight vest! What man could resist a vest like that?

Dick Tracy, 4/25/17

Oh, right, Dick Tracy is ostensibly a strip about the commission, solving, and prevention of crimes, not just anime and such. It looks like the various Margies are going to, uh, pull some kind of insurance fraud? And walk away a cool $3,000 richer than they would be from just running a legitimate convention? I personally am at the edge of my seat!

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Dick Tracy, 4/20/17

In case you were wondering whether Dick Tracy could go any further up its own ass in terms of just being a full-time nostalgia strip about the wonderful world of comics and the people who love them, Dick is apparently going to appear at a cosplay convention, presumably cosplaying as Dick Tracy. Remember when this strip was about gimp-masked serial killers being eaten alive by rats? Well, now it’s about Dick thinking that this cosplay business seems like it could be all right now so long as he makes sure that his half-alien granddaughter isn’t going to be dressing all slutty, which is much grosser.

Marvin, 4/20/17

In case you were worried that Marvin wouldn’t be able to extract multiple poop jokes out of the week’s “Marvin is used by adults so they can drive in the carpool lane” plot: this is the second, and it’s only Thursday!

Pluggers, 4/20/17

I’m not really sure why “fishing through her husband’s raisin bran for recipe ingredients” is the moment when this she-plugger has finally given up on feeling anything other than a dull ache ever again, but it very clearly is. Just look at her face, man, Jesus.