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Friday quickies

Pluggers, 2/10/12

OH GOD THE PAIN, THE PAIN IS SO BAD, HOW AM I EXPECTED TO THINK ABOUT SEX WHEN IT HURTS SO BAD (I’m talking, of course, about the pain of seeing a boner joke in Pluggers).

Apartment 3-G, 2/10/12

At first I was going to complain that by “baby bump” we clearly mean “a visibly pregnant belly that anyone would have noticed long ago at this point in the conversation if they weren’t incredibly self-absorbed,” but then I remembered, ha ha, Margo!

Herb and Jamaal, 2/10/12

Ha ha, it’s funny because Herb is now openly rooting for his mother-in-law’s death!

260 responses to “Friday quickies”

  1. Ned Ryerson
    February 10th, 2012 at 8:34 am [Reply]

    Pluggers: The Loading Dock is clearly a longshoremen’s gay bar. Oops, I didn’t see the caption.

  2. Chareth Cutestory
    February 10th, 2012 at 8:35 am [Reply]

    A3G: From what the doctors tell me, technically its a stone baby bump

  3. Écureuil Écumant
    February 10th, 2012 at 8:42 am [Reply]

    A3G: This is their revenge for our recurring observation that they cut everyone off at the waist. I can’t imagine a “baby bump” going unnoticed until it ballooned to that size. My guess is she had a laparoscopic sterilization that morning, and just for kix the OBG decided to leave the CO2 in her belly when he plugged ‘er up. I myself will suck a canister of CO2 if I evah see anything below the waist in A3G again.

    GT: I looked and looked at that face in panel 2. Finally I figured it out, it’s a coffee mug with Reagan hair. The mug probably has Sanka in it.

    Crank: As a matter of fact, Ed, when it gets dark they will notice something. Namely, that you’re drunker’n a boiled owl.

    MW: After holding him in the palm of her hand, she dealt the marriage a fatal blow. The snark just writes itself.

    Zits: We knew how to get it for free too. I had an 8-track recorder that I bought at Mad Man Muntz. Pst, $10 for a fresh copy of Who’s Next!

  4. AmyS
    February 10th, 2012 at 8:43 am [Reply]

    MT: So this plot thread is going to develop into “blind dog tracks down bank robbers, magically saves forest and family from commercial encroachment.” Implausible, but not out of character for Mark Trail. Of course if it actually goes for realism and develops into “bank robbers abuse blind dog before escaping with their loot,” I’m going to bitch-slap this comic strip SO HARD.

  5. Pyzimber
    February 10th, 2012 at 8:49 am [Reply]

    A3G: Since we also never see their legs or feet, I’m assuming that Nina and Margo are both circus clowns with Size 18 feet…

    MW: Here we go, Mary’s on the offensive! Get ready for a week of self-righteous moralizing!

  6. S. Stout
    February 10th, 2012 at 8:51 am [Reply]

    A3G:“No, I’ve just really let myself go.”

    Knute, Gunther has always been a spooked-out freak. Also, their cafeteria can’t even afford trays and sells food they picked up at McDonalds hours before.

  7. debussy fields
    February 10th, 2012 at 8:56 am [Reply]

    FC–That’s not a snowflake, it’s a dog, you dumb little shit.

  8. Droopy Says
    February 10th, 2012 at 8:57 am [Reply]

    @AmyS (#4): Wait until the abuse (a blow to the head) restores Butch’s sight.

    Pluggers: “A-1 Steak Sauce will make you feel like a new man, instead of those leftovers your wife stashed in the garage freezer.”

  9. Little Guy
    February 10th, 2012 at 8:59 am [Reply]

    A3G: No, she’s FAT!

  10. Mibbitmaker
    February 10th, 2012 at 9:00 am [Reply]

    Pluggers: The caption’s wrong. It’s really a pun: since they’d just finished a grueling day at the loading dock (probably with Archie Bunker as their foreman), it’ll make them feel better to a’leave! And he can go home to his wife, so he can see Alice! (sorry, I’ve been dying for an opportunity to do those puns on some official capacity)

    …or it’s that “little blue pill” to help him with his horn! (eeeewwww!)

    A3G: Nina had just taken a pill of her own, the opposite of the birth control pill. It’s called Instant Baby. Having not been pregnant when Margo arrived, she’ll be giving birth any minute now.

    Crank: They certainly won’t see it through that window!

    Zits: COCKPIT!

    GF: Clearly.

    MW: “It was the Lockhorns, Mary. You tell me….”

    A3G, epilogue: It sure is refreshing to see more of the characters for once! See, Frank Bolle, that wasn’t so hard, was it? Baby steps, Frank. (see what I did there? (I’m really starting to get sick of that sentence!))

  11. Pozzo
    February 10th, 2012 at 9:04 am [Reply]

    Before I saw the caption, I thought Plugger Dogman was proposing a little dog-on-rhino action back in the warehouse. Rhinoman may be bi-curious, but he’s not sure if that extends across species.

  12. Alex Blawe
    February 10th, 2012 at 9:11 am [Reply]

    I hope whoever it was at Plugger Central who had the idea of putting Rhino-Man in the Viagra joke got some recognition. It makes the joke work on multiple levels.

  13. Hibbleton
    February 10th, 2012 at 9:11 am [Reply]

    RMMD: “Actually, those breast implants he made you are filled with gold doubloons. He did love you after all!”

  14. Alex Blaze
    February 10th, 2012 at 9:13 am [Reply]

    @Alex Blawe (#12): seriously? i misspelt my own name?

  15. The Ridger
    February 10th, 2012 at 9:17 am [Reply]

    @AmyS (#4): I prefer “bank robbers adopt abused blind dog abandoned in the woods” myself…

  16. Ed Dravecky
    February 10th, 2012 at 9:23 am [Reply]

    Next week in A3G, Edward Cullen shows up to claw Nina open to save their rapidly growing lovechild and Margo battles a werewolf. Only Tommie’s extreme blandness can save them now!

  17. Flummoxicated
    February 10th, 2012 at 9:27 am [Reply]

    I’m not pro-marriage wrecking by any means, but Nola has got Mary Worth so upset that she has quickly become my favorite character.

    (I have a favorite character in Mary Worth. What has become of my life?)

  18. Mibbitmaker
    February 10th, 2012 at 9:28 am [Reply]

    New Pop Culture’s Kids is now up!

    Li’l Willie Clinton gets Cain-ed.
    (seriously, doing a comic strip really does transform one into a putrid pun machine somehow)

  19. Tom the Sailor Man
    February 10th, 2012 at 9:37 am [Reply]

    MW – Well, there was a blow involved, but he didn’t seem to think it was fatal. In fact, it was pretty enjoyable!

  20. Alfred E. Neuman
    February 10th, 2012 at 9:37 am [Reply]

    Snuffy Smif— Cute, cuddly, friendly animals can be so annoying. With any luck, Snuffy will kill them all.

    MW— With the overhead perspective, we now can identify the green stuff they are eating. Mary has prepared Luby’s Cafeteria signature jello salad, the “Frosted Lime Congeal”. (Yes, that’s what Luby’s actually called it.) To add her own unique touch, Mary has placed the serving dish on a warming tray so that the salad will melt shortly after reaching the plate. Liquified congeal apparently makes it easier for Mary to speak with a knifed tongue.

  21. AhClem
    February 10th, 2012 at 9:39 am [Reply]

    JP – Lo! The assassin approacheth!
    [/BOTR]

  22. Poor Thompson
    February 10th, 2012 at 9:39 am [Reply]

    Just look at the expression on poor Rhino-man’s face. He’s clearly thinking “Ok, I accept that I’m only a one-off, throwaway comic strip character, I knew that when I took the job. But this? This is just ridiculous.”

  23. Effluvius Erratus
    February 10th, 2012 at 9:40 am [Reply]

    MW, panel 4: “Was their marriage weak, or did your actions cause a fatal blow?”

    “Pish-posh, Mary. That which does not kill a marriage makes it stronger.”

    “… Are you — are you actually saying that you were doing them a favor, Nola?”

    “You have your way, Mary, and I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way — it does not exist.”

    “But, Nola, what is it you want out of life?”

    “To crush my enemies, to fuck their husbands, and to listen to the jealous recriminations of the biddies.”

  24. Tom the Sailor Man
    February 10th, 2012 at 9:40 am [Reply]

    Mark Trail – So tell me once more Tommy – what’s the deal with leaving the coat for Butch? ‘Cause I’m still not clear on that.

  25. Liam
    February 10th, 2012 at 9:41 am [Reply]

    Lockhorns-And the dress is borrowed too.

    MT-I knew it. Wake me when the story is over and Mark returns home to the family he neglects.

    MT-Of course the marriage was weak. She was cheating on him when she was out of town.

    FW-Back in the days we called her “Eight Ball” because of her cocaine habit.

    A3G-It’s time to play “Apartment 3G’s Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions”: 1) No, this is my gynecologist. He is a thorough man. 2) No, I am a drug mule and my body cavities are full. 3) No, I am very bloated today and it is showing. 4) No, I am fat. It just cumulates in my stomach area.

  26. Tom the Sailor Man
    February 10th, 2012 at 9:46 am [Reply]

    Meanwhile, in Judge Parker, a woman pushes her way into the elevator. A hijab covers her head, but her undoubtedly enormous rack should be on display by tomorrow.

  27. Mark B.
    February 10th, 2012 at 9:48 am [Reply]

    I’m anticipating the glorious return of boobage in tomorrow’s Judge Parker. However, since the owner is wearing a hijab, the will be tastefully covered. She will also be brandishing a gun, so it’s all good.

  28. Illustrator Steve
    February 10th, 2012 at 9:48 am [Reply]

    MT – Something about that hide-out cabin reminds me of an episode of the old Andy Griffith TV show. Could it be that Jackelrod is sitting at home watching too many reruns?

  29. Mark B.
    February 10th, 2012 at 9:49 am [Reply]

    Wow, holy synchronicity, Sailor Tom! I swear your post wasn’t up yet when I started typing.

  30. pugfuggly
    February 10th, 2012 at 9:50 am [Reply]

    Pluggers reminds me of that scene that was cut from The Matrix, where Wilford Brimley is recruited by Morpheus to join the resistance, and then immediately goes for the blue pill without even letting him finish, dooming all pluggers to eternal enslavement of the machines.

    A3G “Nope, just get incredibly bloated from tiny amounts of chocolate! Wanna see something cool? Hold this match down here, then pull my finger….”

  31. Tom the Sailor Man
    February 10th, 2012 at 9:51 am [Reply]

    @Mark B. (#29): Eager anticipation of gun-toting boobage does funny things!

  32. Dennis Jimenez
    February 10th, 2012 at 9:54 am [Reply]

    Pluggers – See, I was guessing he meant Correctall….

    A3G – Well crank my bun – you’ve got a belly tumor!!!

    H&J – I beg to differ – it’s funny because Sherman Helmsley is getting a second life….

    Adios Amigos, DJ.

  33. Illustrator Steve
    February 10th, 2012 at 9:56 am [Reply]

    MT again – “Yes Tommy, for the fourteenth time, YES Tommy, YES! By now ALL of us here in the southern part of the state sure as hell know that blind dog Butch ALWAYS stays by your damn jacket!”
    “THANK you Mark, Please enjoy the ice cold beverage Sally has prepared for you, even though Sally said we cannot AFFORD the ice cubes! And Mark, WHY do you hold your sandwich with both of your hands like that?”

  34. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    February 10th, 2012 at 9:58 am [Reply]

    FW – The last eight-track tape sold at retail was sold in 1982. The kids on the basketball team were born on or after 1994. Most of their parents never saw an “eight track”. To these kids, a vinyl record is something that was obsolete before they were born, like their coaches.

    JP – So, if you come in off the street, you have to go through a metal detector, but if you come up in the elevator you can go straight into the courtroom while still packing heat? Seems they are missing a golden opportunity to pat down visiting boobs – I mean – guests. But, then again, repeatedly passing up the opportunity for a pat down is what makes the males in this strip so special.

  35. TheDiva
    February 10th, 2012 at 10:01 am [Reply]

    A3G: This is one of those sci-fi quickie pregnancies, isn’t it? In a few days (a month real-world time) she’s going to give birth to an alien or a demon or a Kardashian or something?

    Pluggers don’t even have the desire for a sex drive, a fact for which we are eternally grateful.

    9CL: I have no idea what’s going on, and I suspect I’m much happier that way.

    C’shaft: Hopefully this leads to a situation where the Crankshaft residence is mistaken for a crack house and the inhabitants are gunned down by drug dealers.

    FW: I prefer the “Fishstick Annie” moniker that the folks on Son of Stuck Funky have latched onto. In other news, Ann is now eighty years old again.

    GT: Are high school basketball games R-rated? Did I miss something?

    Luann: Yeah, he’s a spooked out freak, but what does that have to do with Leslie?

    MW: Hey, Nola got apricot glop with her green glop! That’s not fair!

  36. pugfuggly
    February 10th, 2012 at 10:07 am [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#35):

    she’s going to give birth to an alien or a demon or a Kardashian or something?

    No, no, no, that’s ‘Cardassian‘. They sound similar, but the difference is…uh…err…hmmm…now you’ve got me stumped…

  37. LP2004
    February 10th, 2012 at 10:08 am [Reply]

    I realize that looking for anything that makes sense in a Mark Trail storyline is a fool’s errand, but has anyone managed to come up with an even remotely plausible reason for Mark and Tommy to have left Butch the Blind Wonder Dog in the woods while they broke for lunch?

  38. Maggie the Cat
    February 10th, 2012 at 10:12 am [Reply]

    I hate the term “baby bump”. HATE IT.

  39. Cloudbuster
    February 10th, 2012 at 10:13 am [Reply]

    A3G: Frank Bolle suffered a crippling panic attack at the news he would be required to actually illustrate something below the chest.

    RMMD: Money? No, unless you count the $20k he gave my husband. What? That counts? Sorry, that pittance doesn’t nearly count as real money in the Morgan household. What? No, of course we won’t give it to you — we didn’t get rich and smug by being frivolous with our unearned gains. Even tiny ones.

    MT: Oh. Em. Gee.

    JP: The repeated references to Margaret were beginning to make me suspect her, but now I’m excited because we’re introducing a new suspect! One with a very high probability of having boobs!

    FW: Like any of those kids would even have heard of an eight-track.

  40. The Ridger
    February 10th, 2012 at 10:13 am [Reply]

    @Illustrator Steve (#33): MT again – “Yes Tommy, for the fourteenth time, YES Tommy, YES! By now ALL of us here in the southern part of the state sure as hell know that blind dog Butch ALWAYS stays by your damn jacket!” Although … where was Butch when the bank robbers were stealing the jacket? I mean, taking off that pack, putting on the jacket, modelling it, deciding to keep it, and putting the pack back on, that didn’t happen quickly. But Butch was nowhere around.

    So … not so much the “staying by the jacket” as the “possibly managing to grope his way back to it”, then?

  41. Dennis Jimenez
    February 10th, 2012 at 10:15 am [Reply]

    @Maggie the Cat (#38): Belly brat, then? Belly Beelzebub?

  42. The Ridger
    February 10th, 2012 at 10:16 am [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#36): Cardassians have a sense of honor and deep family commitments. That’s the difference.

  43. Uncle Lumpy
    February 10th, 2012 at 10:16 am [Reply]

    @Poor Thompson (#22):

    … I accept that I’m only a one-off, throwaway comic strip character …

    That’s Carl Rhinowski! Plugger, yes — throwaway, never! Which is more or less the problem in a nutshell, isn’t it?!

  44. The Ridger
    February 10th, 2012 at 10:17 am [Reply]

    @LP2004 (#37): It was so he could run around and have fun. Because on his own in the woods is every blind dog’s idea of heaven.

  45. Crankenstank
    February 10th, 2012 at 10:18 am [Reply]

    Obviously, the “blue pill” is an allusion to the Matrix. Pluggers, by definition, have chosen to take the blue pill to escape back into their dreary life of slavery, by choice, because the concept of the red pill and all it represents — free will, being happy, having a funny comic strip — is too horrible to contemplate. Now, honey, where’s my Metamucil? I want to have some me-time.

  46. Red Delicious
    February 10th, 2012 at 10:25 am [Reply]

    The shock of seeing the baby bump has distracted us from the fact that Nina’s decision to highlight it is inspired by Margo’s comment that her figure is “flawless.” So, ha-ha-ha, Nina thinks of the life gestating inside of her as a flaw in her figure… which, on the Apartment 3G scale of self-absorbed asides, makes Nina an official “member of the gang.”

  47. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 10th, 2012 at 10:25 am [Reply]

  48. The Ridger
    February 10th, 2012 at 10:26 am [Reply]

    GT: “Confidentially, Tim, am I the last to know about Parker’s parents’ split?” Gil, of course you are. That’s what happens when you’re as checked out as you are.

  49. Marc
    February 10th, 2012 at 10:26 am [Reply]

    FW- I see Coach Anal has re-aged 30 years again. And in doing so she was hit with a nasty bout of constipation in panel one.

    Mary Worth- “And you know what Mary? I don’t care! And now if you’ll excuse me, I have an ‘appointment’ with Dr. Jeff”.

    Mark Trail- I can’t believe that these two are still having this conversation. The dialogue hasn’t changed even slightly. It’s been what, 2 weeks straight of either Mark and Sideburns talking about the jacket or Jeff and Jamie talking about the jacket. Where are hungry mountain lions when you need them?

    9CL- What in the holy tits is going on here? Is a kiss on the corner of the mouth some kind skank/muscular-top heavy gay guy code? I already regret looking at this strip.

    Hi & Lois- Hey Dot, fuck off. They’re already past kissing. Can’t you tell she was giving him a handjob until you butted in?

    Dennis the Menace- Joey has got a river of snot flowing out of his nose. Just disgusting.

    Curtis- Are windchimes becoming as rare as playing vinyl records on turntables?

    Luann- As the other 5 people in the cafeteria observe Gunther flipping out like dickshit, they decide to beat Leslie to the punch and beat the piss out of him.

  50. Cloudbuster
    February 10th, 2012 at 10:30 am [Reply]

    A3G (again): Since we’re talking about A3G “below the waist” (heh): take a look at the original Kotzky panel examples from the A3G Wikipedia page. They’re amazing. The backgrounds, the detail, the full bodies. Clean lines. I don’t like to speak ill of someone who inadvertently provides me with so much snarky pleasure, but Frank Bolle should really be ashamed of what he’s done to the strip.

    He’s 88 years old, though — as I’ve said before, this seems to be the comic book artist version of a retirement plan: give them some old legacy strip to futz with until they die or are incapable of even the rudiments of cut & paste anymore.

    Also, I did not realize that the original A3G writer, Nicholas P. Dallis, was also the Rex Morgan and Judge Parker creator. Hats off to the man!

    The wikipedia page also says: “The depictions of the three main characters are loosely based on real actors. Tommie is based on Lucille Ball, Margo on Joan Collins and Lu Ann on Tuesday Weld.”

    Wow, really? They’re doing pretty good with the Joan Collins (if Joan Collins was lumpy and badly-drawn) and Tuesday Weld was always more a face than a personality, but to convert someone like Lucille Ball into someone as bland and uninteresting as Tommie. Man.

  51. Carly
    February 10th, 2012 at 10:32 am [Reply]

    Now I’m picturing the A3G writer going “Dammit, I am going to FORCE that artist to draw people below mid-torso!”

  52. Jasper
    February 10th, 2012 at 10:32 am [Reply]

    A3G- Bump? Looks like she’s about 8 months along.

  53. Cloudbuster
    February 10th, 2012 at 10:33 am [Reply]

    @Marc (#49): “9CL- What in the holy tits is going on here? Is a kiss on the corner of the mouth some kind skank/muscular-top heavy gay guy code? I already regret looking at this strip.”

    It means nothing to anyone outside McE’s twisted little brain. But he likes making his readers feel like beefwits, and his gay characters into “magic homos.” If he can’t do it legitimately, why, he’ll make something up.

  54. Cloudbuster
    February 10th, 2012 at 10:35 am [Reply]

    @Maggie the Cat (#38): Didn’t the Black-Eyed Peas do a song about baby bumps?

  55. UncleJeff
    February 10th, 2012 at 10:36 am [Reply]

  56. commodorejohn
    February 10th, 2012 at 10:39 am [Reply]

    Agnes – “Eat pie?” Is that what they’re calling it these days?

    A3G – In fairness to Margo, this is the first time since Nina’s reappearance that Bolle has deigned to depict anything below ribcage level (and then probably only because Shulock threatened his personal well-being.)

    BB – I’m sure prehistoric artists throughout world history (psst, guys, “prehistoric” in this context means several tens of thousands of years old) are just so pleased that all their work has lead up to Beetle fucking Bailey. It’s okay, guys – at least you got Werner Herzog.

    BlC – Oh, if you only knew, Berke…

    Crankshaft – Another angle on that corner, and no more plausible than the last. I’m trying to remember what the last comic storyline I saw that so reliably showed its own events to be completely impossible was…

    Curtis – You live in an nth-story apartment, and it’s February, Greg. When it comes to the sounds of spring and summer, you take what you can freaking get.

    DT – So judging by the pictures I find, this is actually a pretty damn good likeness (I thought he looked more like Mike Nelson at first, but no, apparently Jerry Lawler just actually kinda looks like Mike Nelson.) But I find myself wondering what an attempt at drawing a real-world human being to fit with a comic strip’s visual style would’ve looked like during Locher’s run.

    Dilbert – That’s an excellent way to remove yourself from any sliver of consideration you ever had entirely there, Dilbert.

    FW – “An older assistant” like Coach Ann, who has put on a solid twenty years since her last appearance. Hey, that’s the Winkerverse for you!

    JP – “Oh God, a brown person! Stand back, lady, I have a gun!”

    Luann – Oh, if only that was a McDonalds’ coffee…

    Mandrake – So let me get this straight, the world will be destroyed if they don’t fly to Cocaine?

    MT – So, uh, I see that Butch will find the coat, but how the hell is Tommy supposed to find Butch!? (Also, I’m going to imagine Butch walking into trees and tripping over rocks in the intervening panels.)

    MW – “Oh, the ‘blow’ wasn’t fatal…if you get what I mean…

    NAOQV – Dammit, now I almost care enough to figure these out.

    OBH – Well hell, if Simon Pegg can use a cricket bat, I don’t see why a vacuum cleaner should be excluded from one’s anti-zombie arsenal.

    Phantom – Psst, Douche Tiger, a Manchurian braid is not at all the same thing as a fucking rat-tail.

    Pluggers – The world is less good than it was yesterday. Nothing will ever be the same.

    RMMD – “Well, we know it’s not money. If it was, you’d be getting it, being Woody Wilson protagonists.”

    Ripley’s – Alchemy is, of course, the only way to explain that hair.

    SM – Wait, Peter’s going to try and crash Asgard? Does this mean we get to see him beaten up by the whole pantheon?

  57. Esther Blodgett
    February 10th, 2012 at 10:42 am [Reply]

    Beetle: And now that I’ve seen the resemblance between cavedrawing-Sarge and Jim Woodring’s beloved Frank, I can never, ever unsee it. Goddamn it.

    MW: Thank you, an overhead view of a chafing dish full of luminous green glop was just what I needed this morning. You guys are so good to me.

    A3G: In all fairness, there’s no way Margo could have noticed the baby bump until it was drawn into the frame.

    Pluggers: Disgust me to the core of my being.

  58. commodorejohn
    February 10th, 2012 at 10:45 am [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#50): No kidding…I do feel bad about piling on someone who’s almost 90 (also why I rarely remark on the Sharpied mess that is Mandrake‘s art,) but good Lord.

  59. Lolsworth
    February 10th, 2012 at 10:47 am [Reply]

    A3G – Not gonna lie: that’s the best magic trick I ever saw.

  60. Frank Lee Meidere
    February 10th, 2012 at 10:53 am [Reply]

    @Maggie the Cat (#38): Thank you. I can’t begin to express how much I detest that term. Almost as much as I detest the term “bromance.”

  61. Sequitur
    February 10th, 2012 at 10:56 am [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#53): “Magic Homos” may be a better name for the strip. But then many (Pluggers) would be expecting a strip about enchanted milk.

  62. Cloudbuster
    February 10th, 2012 at 10:57 am [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#60): At least you don’t end up with a baby bump from engaging in a bromance, right?

  63. Dood
    February 10th, 2012 at 10:59 am [Reply]

    Do “baby bumps” call for noogies? Cuz, I’m figuring Margo’s about to deliver one.

  64. Cloudbuster
    February 10th, 2012 at 10:59 am [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#61): Wow, I’m imagining Judy Garland singing the theme song for that strip, “Skanks and homos and bears! Oh my!”

  65. Ned Ryerson
    February 10th, 2012 at 11:00 am [Reply]

    A3G: So Margo spins around, drops her oversized bag, shoves the extra high stool out of the way, spilling the dark chocolate all over (or did the box of chocolates come with its own telescoping legs, who knows what goes on down there in the A3G “underworld”…yeah why not clown shoes?) and looks down to see that Nina is smuggling the back of a padded desk chair under her blouse.

  66. Cloudbuster
    February 10th, 2012 at 11:03 am [Reply]

    @Effluvius Erratus (#23): “To crush my enemies, to fuck their husbands, and to listen to the jealous recriminations of the biddies.”

    Stop it! You’re making me fall in love with Nola!

  67. sporknpork
    February 10th, 2012 at 11:03 am [Reply]

    DOG: “I tell you, it’ll make you feel like a new man.”
    RHINO: “What is a ‘man‘?!”

  68. Notebooked
    February 10th, 2012 at 11:04 am [Reply]

    I do so love Nina’s expression in the last panel. It seems to say “…Uh, seriously? Margo? Look again? Baby? Right here. In this protruding womb. …Margo, look up from the mirror and–oh, forget it.”

  69. Cloudbuster
    February 10th, 2012 at 11:06 am [Reply]

    @Carly (#51): A3G: You’ll know the battle has turned vicious when Shulock comes up with a plot line about a shoe fetish.

  70. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    February 10th, 2012 at 11:07 am [Reply]

    @Maggie the Cat (#38):

    But, but … “Baby Bump” is part of the tabloid circle of life! First, you “Sport a Baby Bump!”. Then come the “Exclusive First Baby Pics!”. Finally, the circle is complete when you show off your “Post-Baby Bikini Bod!”

  71. Spotts1701
    February 10th, 2012 at 11:07 am [Reply]

    JP: Wait, I’m confused. So if this woman is the “assassin” (I use the term loosely as the only person shot so far isn’t dead), how’d she get her gun past security? Did she use the super-secret elevator too?

    DT: Hail to the King, baby!

    GT: Of course you’re the only one who didn’t know Gil! Hell, you don’t even know what day it is most of the time.

  72. Poteet
    February 10th, 2012 at 11:07 am [Reply]

    A3G — We mustn’t be too hard on Margo for failing to notice a huge belly-bulge and then asking if it really is a baby. Pretending to be human is an enormous strain.

  73. Chip
    February 10th, 2012 at 11:07 am [Reply]

    Josh, you have an insight into the comics that delves deeper than most. As I read “Blondie” today, as I’ve done almost every day for many years, it suddenly occurred to me: WHAT THE HELL KIND OF SET UP DO THEY HAVE IN THEIR LIVING ROOM?!? Dagwood sits in a chair, 3 feet from a TV, while his wife sits in her chair, back to him, facing the wall, usually reading. Does this count as “togetherness?” WHERE is the couch that he often naps on? Do their kids watch TV? I want answers, damn it!

  74. Ned Ryerson
    February 10th, 2012 at 11:09 am [Reply]

    9CL: Who the fuck is that guy talking to on the phone, Robert Crumb? (Yeah, I know Crumb’s more of a Jay McShann type guy, but really, putting on a 78?) Christ, what a prentensious load of twaddle!

  75. twg
    February 10th, 2012 at 11:10 am [Reply]

    MW: My totally made up, if anecdotal, statistics on cheating point to it being about the person they cheat with about 5% of the time (they fell in love, bad timing, bad at ending things, whatever), and 95% of the time the death knell was already sounded for the relationship and they were going to cheat if an opportunity presented itself, whatever it was. Basically, shove it, Mary.

    Luann: What was the point of this strip? Oh wait, it’s Luann. There’s never a point.

    FW: … wait, what?

    A3G: OMG Nina is a furious magician!

  76. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 10th, 2012 at 11:11 am [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#56): I thought he looked more like Mike Nelson at first, but no, apparently Jerry Lawler just actually kinda looks like Mike Nelson.

    Surely you jest — “Jerry King” doesn’t look a thing like Lloyd Bridges!

  77. survivor
    February 10th, 2012 at 11:12 am [Reply]

    For readers who didn’t make the connection to Herb’s dislike of his mother-in-law (such as myself), the only conclusion you can draw from the strip is that Herb is openly praying for his own early demise.

    I’d do the same if I were Herb.

  78. Liam
    February 10th, 2012 at 11:12 am [Reply]

    A3G-No, Margo. I’m renting my body out to some circus clowns. It is surprising how many can fit inside a human body.

  79. Dave
    February 10th, 2012 at 11:13 am [Reply]

    “It’ll make you feel like a New Man”? Pluggers is about the last place I’d expect to find a Silver Age Marvel Comics reference!

  80. Ned Ryerson
    February 10th, 2012 at 11:18 am [Reply]

    MW: The remnants of that “terrine” in the serving dish makes me think of one of my favorite terms from geography: The alluvial fan.

  81. Poteet
    February 10th, 2012 at 11:20 am [Reply]

    @Ned Ryerson (#74): “Pretentious Load of Twaddle” is my new favorite name for 9CL.

  82. Illustrator Steve
    February 10th, 2012 at 11:22 am [Reply]

    MT – “HEY Jeff! LOOK at that stupid dog out there running back and forth bumping into trees and stuff as if he were blind or something!”
    “Yes Jamie, that is definitly a stupid dog! It is obvious he is blind. HEY, I saw a comic strip where a blind dog just like him was trained to stay next to his master’s jacket, but it could not be THAT dog because there’s no jacket anywhere in sight..except for……OH SH_T!”.

  83. Poteet
    February 10th, 2012 at 11:24 am [Reply]

    @Ned Ryerson (#80): Thanks for the great images of alluvial fans. But alas, when I see that serving dish, what I think of is “dead zone.”

  84. Joe, the Upper-Evergreen Guy
    February 10th, 2012 at 11:24 am [Reply]

    Crank: Rose will probably get the blame

    FC: That’s not a snowflake, Jeffy. That’s your dandruff.

    FW: I doubt half the girls on that team even know what “Eight Track” means.

    MW: Ah, yes. The old “They were heading for divorce court anyway” justification…

    RMMD: “Fuck him. I hate his formerly-living and now-dead guts. I ain’t coming…….oh……..he left me something……what?……..money?…….oh, my poor, dear sweet father! I’ll come right away!”

    Love is…: Picking out his head lice.

  85. Santa Royale With Cheese
    February 10th, 2012 at 11:25 am [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#50): A3G: [...] Frank Bolle should really be ashamed of what he’s done to the strip.

    He’s 88 years old, though — as I’ve said before, this seems to be the comic book artist version of a retirement plan: give them some old legacy strip to futz with until they die or are incapable of even the rudiments of cut & paste anymore.

    That has to be a comforting thought for Shulock, I’d imagine.

  86. Señor Tortilla
    February 10th, 2012 at 11:25 am [Reply]

    It’s a been a while since we’ve seen Josh cover H&L.

    FW – Personally, if I saw the assistant coach age 30-40 years in a single basketball game, a condescending put-down would be the last thing on my mind.

    GA – Look everyone! Someone who’s not white!

    Luann – Actually, just a “freak” would do.

    MW – The green glop looks a bit like the spongy stuff you fill with water and put plants in.

    9CL – “Hmmm, he didn’t have sex with you on your first date, therefore he must be gay, right?” “But Seth, didn’t you have sex with *MMMMMPPPHH!*”

  87. Stroker Ace
    February 10th, 2012 at 11:26 am [Reply]

    Pluggers – Wikipedia claims Viagra & Aleve both contain rhino horn.

  88. commodorejohn
    February 10th, 2012 at 11:26 am [Reply]

    @sporknpork (#67): What is a ‘man’?
    A miserable little pile of secrets!

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#76): Heh, that’s what I get for not clarifying…

  89. Señor Tortilla
    February 10th, 2012 at 11:29 am [Reply]

    @Liam (#78): That would be interesting if they (the clowns) all burst out of her abdomen and chest, Alien-style. And they all looked really scary, like this one from the microfilms.

  90. Liam
    February 10th, 2012 at 11:30 am [Reply]

    RMMD-Actually he left you his collection of “Love Is” photo comics.

  91. Señor Tortilla
    February 10th, 2012 at 11:31 am [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#88): Alternatively, you could just blow up instead!

  92. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 10th, 2012 at 11:31 am [Reply]

    BG&SS: 5514 days since Barney Google went missing – forty one days to March 22nd!

  93. Sequitur
    February 10th, 2012 at 11:33 am [Reply]

    @Señor Tortilla (#89): Careful. You’ll scare Baka Gaijin and we’ll have six more weeks of winter.

  94. But What Do I Know?
    February 10th, 2012 at 11:34 am [Reply]

    JP — No, slam the elevator door shut! After all, as a woman speaking to an unrelated man, she has already incurred the penalty of losing a hand in her country.

    MW — Whatever that green glop is, you have to admit it holds its shape nicely. . .

  95. Rachel
    February 10th, 2012 at 11:36 am [Reply]

    Okay, due to you not featuring Mary Worth today, I realized I was a) far more invested in Mary Worth than I realized, b) actually looked up today’s Mary Worth comic on my own, and c) looked up the Wikipedia page for Mary Worth and discovered someone has recently edited it to campaign for King Features to acknowledge that Mary Worth was derived from an earlier strip called “Apple Mary”, which seems like an interesting story in and of itself, and one you should see.

    Also, d) in breaking my lurkership, I realized I’ve been reading your site since circa summer 2006. Wow. No wonder I like Mary Worth, I started with Aldomania.

  96. The Ridger
    February 10th, 2012 at 11:36 am [Reply]

    @But What Do I Know? (#94): After all, as a woman speaking to an unrelated man, she has already incurred the penalty of losing a hand in her country. And in Charterstone, she’s flirting shamelessly…

  97. Illustrator Steve
    February 10th, 2012 at 11:36 am [Reply]

    @Chip (#73): Maybe while Dagwood watches his favorite cable channel food shows Blondie would rather read a good book without being distracted by having to face the TV. After all, this strip is more than 75 years old and I think back in them days some people, mostly wives, used to sit facing away from the old radio set while reading something called “books” to pass the time while their husband would listen to his favorite gangbusters and the Great Gildersleeve radio shows on the old Zenith crystal set.

  98. btown
    February 10th, 2012 at 11:39 am [Reply]

    MW: Is Nola resting her entire upper arms on Mary’s table as she eats her Soylent Green, or is she just making airplane wings? Is that a giant ash tray in the center of the table? Can we please see more down shots of Mary’s dinner table in the future? Thanks!

  99. bats :[
    February 10th, 2012 at 11:43 am [Reply]

    @Alfred E. Neuman (#20): oh, dear God, you’re right about the green stuff and Luby’s! I’ll never doubt you again (not that I ever doubted you before).

    @Maggie the Cat (#38): I’m right with you.

  100. Sequitur
    February 10th, 2012 at 11:47 am [Reply]

    @Illustrator Steve (#97): What I remember about Zenith is their old slogan, “The quality goes in, before the name goes on.” I guess they were bought out by Foofram.

  101. JD
    February 10th, 2012 at 11:48 am [Reply]

    I think that may be the most homoerotic Pluggers strip yet. The dog looks satisfied but the rhino is feeling a little post-loading dock regret.

  102. Frank Lee Meidere
    February 10th, 2012 at 11:52 am [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#62): This comment section morphed so slowly into 9CL that I almost didn’t notice. (Or would it be Pibgorn?)

  103. Sequitur
    February 10th, 2012 at 11:53 am [Reply]

    @JD (#101): Even more so than this one?

  104. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 10th, 2012 at 11:54 am [Reply]

    Lio: going from awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww to AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! in one panel.

    NS: yeah, it does.

    NAoQV: I liked the Brian BLESSED!!! jokes better.

    DT: dear Shulz, it IS Jerry “the King” Lawler. [*]

    JUMBLE, guest written by LaHaye & Jenkins?

  105. Ned Ryerson
    February 10th, 2012 at 11:54 am [Reply]

    @But What Do I Know? (#94):
    MW — Whatever that green glop is, you have to admit it holds its shape nicely. . .

    Yes, I noted an intensity of the sedimentation processes.

  106. tb4000
    February 10th, 2012 at 12:00 pm [Reply]

    9CL: Please do not go with the “Gil is in the closet” thing. As much as I loathe this strip, do NOT do this again.

  107. mumbles
    February 10th, 2012 at 12:00 pm [Reply]

    GT: Gil Thorp is increasingly looking like a subplot of “Angry Boys.” I’m pretty sure that’s Chris Lilley as Jen Okazaki in panel 1.

    MW: “….my friends the Kelrasts didn’t have a strong marriage. Don’t know what happened to Aldo after he got divorced…actually, I heard he moved somewhere around here.” Please please please make this happen!

  108. Sequitur
    February 10th, 2012 at 12:06 pm [Reply]

    A3G: It looks like Nina’s been eating too many of Lu Ann’s “meadow muffins.”

  109. Austria
    February 10th, 2012 at 12:08 pm [Reply]

    Arch: That is NOT how the silent penultimate panel is supposed to work

    BGSS: I’d be more concerned about the fact that there are possums and raccoons out in the middle of the day. Tune in tomorrow when Loweezy and what’s-her-name are diagnosed with rabies.

    Curtis: It’s not even worth the effort to snark anymore. I’m just going to sit in this corner here and cry.

    FW: So the chemo made her age 20 years in the past week, I see.

    Zits: It’s a repeat.

  110. Comcis Fan
    February 10th, 2012 at 12:14 pm [Reply]

    Is that your frontal horn or are you just happy to see me?

  111. Ned Ryerson
    February 10th, 2012 at 12:20 pm [Reply]

    A3G: Don’t you see where this is going? Tommie is a midwife (by the definition of the Univ. of Phoenix, anyway). Nina has a baby bump. It’s Chekov’s bump!

  112. Liam
    February 10th, 2012 at 12:21 pm [Reply]

    @Señor Tortilla (#89):
    I like clowns but that one scares me. That is the sort of clown that would haunt my nightmares. He will make balloon animals of your soul. You will stare into his rictus like smile and hear his soul shattering laugh. When the abyss stares back it has this face.

  113. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    February 10th, 2012 at 12:22 pm [Reply]

    MT: By now, any normal person would be shouting at Tommie, “Yes, for the gazillionth time, I know: Butch will go to your jacket! Now, for the love of god, stop telling me that!” But Mark Trail is no mere normal person; thanks to his trusty force field—an amalgamation of complacency and cluelessness—conversational annoyances deflect off his brain like a badly aimed bullet.

    Frazz: So Caulfield is reading Richard Russo? Okay, I know the kid is supposed to be some form of prodigy, but we’re really expected to believe that a third grader of any sort is enthralled by quiet, well-crafted tales of lost youth, faded innocence, and middle-aged angst?

    MW: The only “fatal blow” I see around here is the one being dealt to Nola’s digestive system. Um, yuck.

    SM: Do we get to see Thor trying to shake off Spidey as if he were a stray piece of toilet paper or perhaps a bit of dog crap? Because I think that’s just about as good a metaphor as you could find.

  114. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    February 10th, 2012 at 12:24 pm [Reply]

    @The Ridger (#15): Wouldn’t it be great if Jeff n’ Jamie, Local Thieves, adopted Butch, and then Butch got to live in the lap of luxury, with all the birds and jackets he ever wanted? Okay, it’s only $200,000, so it wouldn’t be too long before his new owners are leaving him in the woods to hunt up some dinner, but still.

  115. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    February 10th, 2012 at 12:24 pm [Reply]

    3G – “Oh, I never noticed that you were visibly pregnant, because that part wasn’t included in the drawing before. Things below the waist usually don’t exist here. It’s like how we live in a formless light violet void with occasional pieces of furniture and pictures becoming briefly visible before being swallowed up in the mist.”

    Snuffy – “This peaceable kingdom shit is fer the birds. We gotta git Snuffy to shoot more o’ these critters! ‘Specially that fat raccoon, who I suspect o’ usin’ Perfesser Weirdly’s time machine t’ do away with cousin Barney!”

    9 – Richard Rodgers tune? So… you’re saying that Gil is really… CHARLIE?

  116. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    February 10th, 2012 at 12:25 pm [Reply]

    Crankshaft – Stupid! The window is rectangular, and you’ve gone and nailed some kind of diamond-like trapezoid over it.

    Smirky – Is Coach Ann deteriorating before our eyes? She probably has a painted portrait in her room that never changes at all!

    Gasoline – Good luck stopping the organist! He’s playing that classic hymn, “In the Garden of Eden” by I. Ron Butterfly. It goes on and on!

  117. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    February 10th, 2012 at 12:26 pm [Reply]

    Mark – HOLY SHIT, GUYS! You know that dog? That blind dog? That smells that guy’s coat? Well, one of the bank robbers picked up the coat and put it on, and GUESS WHAT?! You’ll never guess this!!! The dog is smelling around for the coat! Like it’s gonna FOLLOW THE SMELL!!!! And I’ll just bet he’ll FIND THE ROBBERS WHO ROBBED THE BANK!!!!! Oh, man, I bet I’m the first one who ever figured this out!!!!!!!!!

    Grimm – Peters stole my reindeer joke, which I think I made right here! O the perfidy of it!

    Pluggers think “Aleve” is a boner pill.

    @Illustrator Steve (#97): Crystal sets are what the kid listens to on a big headphone (one-sided) upstairs in his bedroom in the attic. The console radio in the living room is superhet.

  118. Liam
    February 10th, 2012 at 12:27 pm [Reply]

    Archie-That is Archie for you. So far behind that he thinks he is ahead.

    9CL-Not the left corner. That is the gay corner.

  119. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 10th, 2012 at 12:31 pm [Reply]

    whelp, so much for Dogfort.

    best buddies, doggie and woozle.

    Meanwhile, in California.

    Zombies? We are not amused.

    Anime/comic book cross-over win.

    Memes IRL.

    I .gif you a frolicing fox kit.

    floofy brainmush iz floofy.

  120. UncleJeff
    February 10th, 2012 at 12:34 pm [Reply]

    LIO: So, Lio apparently got his best (and only) friend killed by the psychotic little girl he’s been chasing.
    FUNNY!!!!

  121. Artist formerly known as Ben
    February 10th, 2012 at 12:40 pm [Reply]

    A3G: A plot twist made possible by Margo’s obliviousness to other people and Bolle’s talent for leaving stuff out.

    H&J: This is either a rerun or Herb laments Eula’s continued existence a lot.

    H-Cliff: Too bad birds can’t fly or anything.

    H&L: “She wants me to get started siring more blonds. You should see her library of racist books.”

    GA: Well the organist is a good, courteous Christian. Just walk up to him and say, “Excuse me sir, but could you stop playing for the next few minutes of the service? We’d like to have at least some of the stolen money to retrieve.”

    MW: Mary’s place: Leave for the inedible food, stay away for the guilt trip.

    BB: “Holy shit! We’re more of a legacy strip than I thought!”

    C-Shaft: Ed’s not even quarter-assing it on the repair job.

    DT: I’m trying to imagine the blank looks I’d get from the detectives if I walked into a squadroom saying “I LOVE adventure!”

    RMMD: Hey Iris, you know that thing about there being no money? You said that aloud. Just thought you should know.

    Ziggy: Look, jeans, I know nobody wants to be worn by Ziggy. You’ll just have to take one for the team.

    FW: “Eight Track” isn’t as evocative as “Funky Winkerbean Collection From When It Was Funny”, but I guess it’s a little pithier.

  122. commodorejohn
    February 10th, 2012 at 12:45 pm [Reply]

    @Ned Ryerson (#111): Oh. Oh man. I thought I was joking, but you are absolutely. Damn. Right. Tommie is going to deliver a baby, and I cannot WAIT.

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#116): They’re really in trouble – it’s the album version!

  123. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    February 10th, 2012 at 12:48 pm [Reply]

    Pluggers – Are sexually aroused by pain relief.

    This is the natural result of their origin as unholy man-beast hybrids. Their joints and organs aren’t meant to support their bodies, hence the constant, crippling pain. Much like an ABD grad student/Research Assistant, they can only reproduce in the lab.

  124. Dood
    February 10th, 2012 at 12:49 pm [Reply]

    It’s a good thing that Tommie’s now a practicing nurse-midwife given the alarming rate that Nina’s pregnancy is progressing.

  125. Dood
    February 10th, 2012 at 12:52 pm [Reply]

    Pluggers: What does rhino-guy do on the loading docks? Bump containers around all day?

  126. Dood
    February 10th, 2012 at 12:54 pm [Reply]

    Pluggers: By the way, the plugger dog will always stay with rhino-guy’s jacket.

  127. Mibbitmaker
    February 10th, 2012 at 12:54 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#76): And yet, Joel Robinson looks amazingly like Joel Hodgson! What’re the chances of THAT happening?

  128. AhClem
    February 10th, 2012 at 12:54 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#117):

    Crystal sets are what the kid listens to on a big headphone (one-sided) upstairs in his bedroom in the attic. The console radio in the living room is superhet.

    Or maybe an “All-American 5.”

  129. Fraxinus
    February 10th, 2012 at 12:58 pm [Reply]

    Is anyone else becoming increasingly perturbed by Mary Worth’s green cuisine? Here is what we know about it so far:

    1. It is served in a baking pan, presumably after being baked
    2. Associated condiments include salt, pepper, butter, and possibly little packets of sweetener
    3. It is eaten with knives, and nothing else
    4. It is green

    Not only do I not know of any food that meets all these criteria, I can’t imagine any fictional food that ever could.

  130. Liam
    February 10th, 2012 at 12:59 pm [Reply]

    Marmaduke-Either way Marmaduke is going to dine on that kid.

    Garfield-Garfield has wandered into Marmaduke’s world.

  131. TheMaryMeddler
    February 10th, 2012 at 1:01 pm [Reply]

    MW: “Who cares? Either way I got laid, which was my only concern there.”

    Or…

    “Actually, the blow was quite nice.”

  132. Ian Beste
    February 10th, 2012 at 1:03 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#34): You can still get some albums in vinyl–DJ’s spin ‘em at clubs and parties. Amazon offers a vinyl copy of They Might Be Giants 2007 release “The Else” for $10.50. Of course, I doubt you’d ever hear that played at a club, but who knows?

  133. Señor Tortilla
    February 10th, 2012 at 1:09 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#112): Notice the facepaint around the mouth is “pointed”, while real clowns try to make it non-pointed as not to scare children (John Wayne Gacy, serial killer who also went as a clown occasionally, deliberately did sharp corners)

    Here’s the full ad, which based on the road references, is about the spot where a Walmart is today.

  134. Baka Gaijin
    February 10th, 2012 at 1:12 pm [Reply]

    @Pyzimber (#5): EEEEE! [QLUNQ]

    @Alex Blaze (#14): You were probably a little queasy from comment #5.

    @Alfred E. Neuman (#20): “Frosted Lime Congeal.” Really. Does it come sprinkled with scabs?

    @Effluvius Erratus (#23): “To crush my enemies, to fuck their husbands, and to listen to the jealous recriminations of the biddies.” So good it needed to be said again.

    @pugfuggly (#30) on Apartment 3-G: Please have Margo light the match while they’re standing in the clown classroom. That would be a happy day.

    @LP2004 (#37): The only plausible reason is massive canine ass gas.

    @Marc (#49) on Mary Worth: Oh ha ha! I would pay to see that. An anonymous tip slipped under her door brought Mary to The Bum Boat in time to see Nola giving Dr. Jeff a foot job under the table. Barefoot!

    @Liam (#78): See first comment above.

  135. Vince M
    February 10th, 2012 at 1:18 pm [Reply]

    @Illustrator Steve (#28): It would improve the strip to guest-star Barney and Floyd…

  136. The Ridger
    February 10th, 2012 at 1:21 pm [Reply]

    @Ian Beste (#132): I accidentally got Johnny Cash American VI Ain’t No Grave in vinyl because I didn’t pay enough attention when I was ordering it. Probably won’t that in clubs, either, though.

  137. Irrischano
    February 10th, 2012 at 1:21 pm [Reply]

    I like to imagine that Nina has spent the entire duration of her visit with Margo dropping increasingly unsubtle hints about her pregnancy, only to have each one go over her head. “I HOPE I CAN FIND A GOOD PEDIATRICIAN” “HEY MARGO, DO YOU THINK GRANT IS A NICE NAME FOR A BOY?” “DO YOU WANT TO FEEL IT KICKING?” None of these were working, so she went with the most obvious indicator of pregnancy there is, outside of “A SMALL HUMAN BEING HAS BEEN DEVELOPING INSIDE MY UTERUS FOR THE LAST FEW MONTHS.”

  138. commodorejohn
    February 10th, 2012 at 1:22 pm [Reply]

    @Ian Beste (#132): Indeed, vinyl has been doing better in the past decade than it did in the ’90s, I think. Not just occasional releases, you can get new, remastered, high-quality pressings of a lot of existing albums (Genesis 1970-1974 box set, hell yes!)

    Even eight-track isn’t quite gone yet – Cheap Trick just released an album on that format a couple years ago.

  139. Vince M
    February 10th, 2012 at 1:27 pm [Reply]

    139: Rhino-guy in Pluggers doesn’t need Viagra – he just files off some of his own horn.

  140. Russ H.
    February 10th, 2012 at 1:27 pm [Reply]

    Pluggers: Wow! A Rhino on viagra? Somebody call the ASPCA!

  141. Flamedrake
    February 10th, 2012 at 1:28 pm [Reply]

    Nina is the greatest illusionist of our time. “Now look again!” “Wow! The bump is completely gone!”

  142. Baka Gaijin
    February 10th, 2012 at 1:30 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#81): I don’t read “Pretentious Load of Twaddle.” I just like saying it. “Pretentious Load of Twaddle.”“Pretentious Load of TWADDLE.” “PRETENTIOUS LOAD of TWADDLE!”

    @Señor Tortilla (#89): Just when I thought it was safe to return to this comment thread, EEEEE! [QLUNQ!]

    @Liam (#112): You’re making a false distinction. You just described all clowns, including harlequins.

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#117): Like I’ve said before, Helen Keller saw the end of this plot. That’s pretty bad since she’s blind, deaf, and dead for a few decades.

    @Señor Tortilla (#133): See second comment above.

    @commodorejohn (#138): Pluggers listen to Cheap Trick. Who else has an 8-track player?

  143. Vince M
    February 10th, 2012 at 1:31 pm [Reply]

    stroker ace@87: Note to myself – read before posting.

  144. bats :[
    February 10th, 2012 at 1:35 pm [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#66): yeah, she is kind of special, isn’t she?

  145. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 10th, 2012 at 1:38 pm [Reply]

    @Maggie the Cat (#38): I hate the term “baby bump”. HATE IT.

    Me too. But where and when the hell did it come from? Urban Dictionary’s definition dates from 2006, and it was probably around then that I started seeing it on the covers of supermarket tabloids all the time. Did people suddenly become obsessed with celebrity pregnancy about then?

  146. Artist formerly known as Ben
    February 10th, 2012 at 1:41 pm [Reply]

    @Fraxinus (#129): I’d like to thing that the knives are for when the dish spontaneously comes to life and starts attacking the diners.

  147. Baka Gaijin
    February 10th, 2012 at 1:42 pm [Reply]

    I’m not getting into the Biddiecam™ in Mary Worth today. The possibility of possibly seeing cleavage down Mary’s top is too horrifying to consider.

    Judging by the last panel, Leslie gave Gunther a surprise colonoscopy.

  148. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 10th, 2012 at 1:43 pm [Reply]

    @UncleJeff (#55): Seconded.

  149. Marc
    February 10th, 2012 at 1:44 pm [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#62): I don’t know, but from you’ve said about McEldowney, it sounds like he would be one try to make that happen in his strip.

  150. Baka Gaijin
    February 10th, 2012 at 1:45 pm [Reply]

    Apartment 3-G’s missing panel: “No, Margo, I’m smuggling a Orson Welles’ whoopie cushion. Give it a push!” “POOOOOOT!”

    That dog looks excessively worried in Family Circus. Maybe he sees an unmarried pregnant Wiccan lesbian couple walking down the sidewalk.

  151. Marc
    February 10th, 2012 at 1:49 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#78): “It’s uterUS Marge, not UterYOU”

  152. Snuggs
    February 10th, 2012 at 1:49 pm [Reply]

    For a split-second I thought A3G was going to embrace cartoony logic, and Nina had in fact immediately gained weight upon eating a box of chocolates. Of course, that wasn’t the case; she’s just spontaneously pregnant. The lesson is: when interpreting the art in A3G, always go with the simultaneously boring and demented option.

  153. Artist formerly known as Ben
    February 10th, 2012 at 1:51 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#116): “Hey Marge, remember when we used to make out to this hymn?”

  154. Artist formerly known as Ben
    February 10th, 2012 at 1:53 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#150):

    That dog looks excessively worried in Family Circus. Maybe he sees an unmarried pregnant Wiccan lesbian couple walking down the sidewalk.

    Or a married pregnant Wiccan etc.

  155. The Ridger
    February 10th, 2012 at 1:59 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#145): Over at Separated by a Common Language, Lynne Guist says: I distinctly remember first hearing this term from Kate Winslet (not in person!) when she was pregnant with her daughter in 2000, the year I moved here. At that point, I assumed it was a Winsletism, but soon learned it was general, informal BrE. (While the OED has only added it in its 2007 draft, its first citation for it is from 1986. The first American citation is from 1999.) Shortly thereafter the American celebrity gossip media started using it too, to my chagrin, as I thought it was a nasty term–too (orig./chiefly AmE) cutesy, in a crude way. And I’m not the only one. Google-search hate baby bump, and one finds lots of American discussions of the term

  156. Calico
    February 10th, 2012 at 2:00 pm [Reply]

    @Flummoxicated (#17):
    I know, I love these shenanigans too (see, Nola is an Irish name, and I used an irish word! Priceless!)
    Nola has taken Mary from zero to stroke in about 30 seconds.

    Oh, and in yesterday’s Foob, JonRod hints about the dental dangers of meth abuse.

  157. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    February 10th, 2012 at 2:01 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#154): If there were a married pregnant Wiccan lesbian couple in FC, they’d likely be married just for the medical insurance benefits.

  158. Marc
    February 10th, 2012 at 2:03 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#153): Wait a minute. This sounds like rock and/or roll.

  159. Poteet
    February 10th, 2012 at 2:04 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#142): I’m tapering off Pretentious Load of Twaddle. I check it maybe once a week. I may never be able to break free entirely, but I no longer feel compelled to see what Brooke has perpetrated every single day.

  160. Calico
    February 10th, 2012 at 2:05 pm [Reply]

    @Fraxinus (#129):
    It is quite possible that Mary Worth could become the world’s next great molecular gastronomist.

  161. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 10th, 2012 at 2:05 pm [Reply]

    @The Ridger (#155): Excellent research! Thank you.

    Now that I think of it, “baby bump” does sound like one of those cutesy Brit vulgarities – like, for instance, “preggers” (of course).

  162. Calico
    February 10th, 2012 at 2:07 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#121):
    Re: FW – In 100 years if not less the nickname will be “Flash Drive.”
    God, I feel so old now …

  163. bbofun
    February 10th, 2012 at 2:13 pm [Reply]

    My computer was loading the page kinda slow today, so all I saw of pluggers for a minute was the top half of the panel. I was trying to figure out the joke. “…it’ll make you feel like a new man”, two male pluggers, work clothes, “LOADING DOCK” sign- got it! I was rather disappointed that the dog-plugger WASN’T wearing a truss- or at least one of those rubber back-braces.

  164. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    February 10th, 2012 at 2:15 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#160): Hanging on my bulletin board in front of me, I have a menu from a dinner at the restaurant of an actual great molecular gastronomist. Among the 27 little courses are such delights as Beet “Tumbleweed,” Sea Bean Tempura, Zucchini in Textures, Charcoal Salmon with Black Garlic, and Japanese Baby Peaches with Burrata.

    The tasting menu at Worth! would perhaps include
    Green Material, Congealed
    Soft Orange Food
    Beige aux Lumps
    Yellow, in Puddles

  165. Will
    February 10th, 2012 at 2:16 pm [Reply]

    GF: I hate to go all Godwin’s Law on this, but Hitler was a vegetarian, too. So what? Now can we move on to something, anything else?

  166. Liam
    February 10th, 2012 at 2:20 pm [Reply]

    FC-Years later on his death bed Jeffy would mention this sled sparking a search to find out what he meant.

  167. Calico
    February 10th, 2012 at 2:24 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#47):
    I read that this AM. Sad.

    BB, I have never eaten at a MG resto and really don’t want to – I like burgers and homestyle cooking too much! : ) Although I am excited about having a completely sunny space to grow heirloom tomatoes this summer!

    Mary’s (regurgitated) repast –
    Lime Jello Soufflé
    Deep-fried oatmeal balls
    Cornflakes pudding with Marmite

  168. Calico
    February 10th, 2012 at 2:27 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#164):
    I really do hope you had a good time at said resto (El Bulli, Fat Duck, French Laundry? I think these guys are true geniuses) but “Zucchini in textures” sounds like a painting Nola might have in her apartment. ; )

  169. Alfred E. Neuman
    February 10th, 2012 at 2:32 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#99) said: “@Alfred E. Neuman (#20): oh, dear God, you’re right about the green stuff and Luby’s! I’ll never doubt you again (not that I ever doubted you before).”

    Thank-you! It’s good to know that I am without a doubt.

  170. This Guy
    February 10th, 2012 at 2:32 pm [Reply]

    I think Data and Scotty can ably sum up Mary Worth’s delightful cuisine: It’s green.

  171. Ned Ryerson
    February 10th, 2012 at 2:35 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#164):
    The tasting menu at Worth! would perhaps include
    Green Material, Congealed
    Soft Orange Food
    Beige aux Lumps
    Yellow, in Puddles

    Oooo I want to play:

    Emulsified Scampi Spheres
    Rainbow Swirl Air Pie
    Transparency of Tuna Casserole
    Salmon Fog

    I can’t help but think of George Carlin’s definition of Rice Krispies: “Little, biege blisters of air.” Was Kellogg’s way out in the vanguard of MG?

  172. Dood
    February 10th, 2012 at 2:38 pm [Reply]

    Pluggers: “Now I’m ready to go home and pluck my wife.”

  173. Mr Frog
    February 10th, 2012 at 2:43 pm [Reply]

    MW: Even though Nola’s bizarre, arms-splayed-out pose in the first panel is likely a result of the fact that the Worthiverse is a perspective-breaking Escherian nightmare and the table is bigger than/smaller than/closer to the viewer/farther from the viewer/angled more or less towards the viewer (pick your favourites; I honestly can’t tell) than it appears, I’d like to believe that the devilish vixen, in another shocking display of her tendency to view others as shallow playthings, has simply broken unprompted into a chicken dance right there at the dinner table just to see how Mary would react.

    DT: A man so ugly he could only be an attempted cartoon rendering of a real-life wrestling figure has appeared! Tracy, yearning for some of the old sadism, stalls him from his purpose by recapping what little of the current plotline has occurred so far, thus ensuring that, no matter what may happen, we will have had to look at Mr. King for one strip longer than we should have.

    A3G: This bit of meta-humor has caused me to question some of my most basic assumptions about Apartment 3-G. What else could be going uncommented-upon just outside the revealing gaze of the comic panel? Is Margo a actually a snake-woman literally as well as metaphorically? Are the characters just a bunch of legless torsos on little rollers? Better step it up, Bolle!

  174. Purple Prosecutor
    February 10th, 2012 at 2:44 pm [Reply]

    A3G – “Now back to me. Now back at my belly. The baby is now DIAMONDS! I’m on a horse.”

  175. bats :[
    February 10th, 2012 at 2:44 pm [Reply]

    @Ned Ryerson (#171): plus those old French favorites, Frog a la Peche and Peche a la Frog.

  176. Calico
    February 10th, 2012 at 2:46 pm [Reply]

    Worth! : (really gross and NSFW due to language; you’re welcome, but this is real)
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gr3MGCmd03U
    Wait until he blows up at 9:50 or so

  177. Calico
    February 10th, 2012 at 2:47 pm [Reply]

    8:50 – sorry!

  178. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    February 10th, 2012 at 2:57 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#168): I love good ol’ comfort food, too, but ohmygoodness, that meal was delicious–and great fun, too (Jose Andres, by the way). Really, what MGs are doing, pretty much, is playing with their food.

    And given the proclivity in wannabe MGs for foam, one might make an argument that Chef Worth is just following the latest trends: green foam, beige foam, orange foam, yellow foam. You can have any color you want, as long as it’s foam.

    More foam, mule!

  179. Dood
    February 10th, 2012 at 3:01 pm [Reply]

    I’m not sure if that’s a baby bump or the back of Professor Papagoras’ head.

  180. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    February 10th, 2012 at 3:05 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#176): Eeeeeee. What happened to health inspections? (I’m not sure it’s the full link you intended—only went to about 4:03—but I got the picture.)

    It occurs to me that Mary Worth could be much improved with more Gordon Ramsay-style screaming and swearing: “Nola, are you fucking kidding me! Has that vagina gone out to a customer? I’ve fucking eaten there!”

  181. Baka Gaijin
    February 10th, 2012 at 3:08 pm [Reply]

    @Ned Ryerson (#171): “Salmon Fog” is the after effect of breaking bread with Mary.

  182. Frank Lee Meidere
    February 10th, 2012 at 3:11 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#130): XT3 (also known as “Ex tefee”).

  183. Der Schnärkïnätör
    February 10th, 2012 at 3:13 pm [Reply]

    RMMD – “My husband Rex was Foster’s former physician”

    Yeah, the same “Doctor” that treated a case of drug overdose with smelling salts.

    It’s no wonder the guy is dead.

  184. Calico
    February 10th, 2012 at 3:16 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#180):
    OK, here is the correct link. Gordon goes nuts around 8:50
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NnXt-x9YtV4

  185. pugfuggly
    February 10th, 2012 at 3:22 pm [Reply]

    @Mr Frog (#173):

    This bit of meta-humor has caused me to question some of my most basic assumptions about Apartment 3-G. What else could be going uncommented-upon just outside the revealing gaze of the comic panel?

    Given the compete lack of legs in A3G, I’ve often wondered if the finale of this strip is going to reveal that it was actually one big puppet show the whole time, and that the entire lives of these three women are just the product of the imagination of some autistic child with a chest full of dowdy marottes.

    Actually, I think if you asked an autistic child to describe the lives of three modern Manhattan women, A3G is probably what they’d come up with….

  186. Frank Lee Meidere
    February 10th, 2012 at 3:26 pm [Reply]

    @Vince M (#139): @Russ H. (#140):

    Pluggers: Wow! A Rhino on viagra? Somebody call the ASPCA!

    Careful who you call about this. Killing rhinos for their horns has become a big industry. So big, in fact, that the anti-poaching organisation Rhino Rescue Project is now accidentally killing rhinos for news cameras to show how poachers purposely kill rhinos. “It’s a death that I still chalk up to poaching,” said Rhino Rescue Project spokewoman Lorinda Hern, who obviously has a less-than-stellar grasp of responsibility.

  187. Gringo
    February 10th, 2012 at 3:31 pm [Reply]

    Elderberries looks like it’s drawing to a close. Sad. I’ve always liked this strip, although the art quality declined after Phil Frank passed on.

  188. commodorejohn
    February 10th, 2012 at 3:31 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#186): And people complain about Mark Trail’s shaky grasp of wildlife conservation…

  189. Artist formerly known as Ben
    February 10th, 2012 at 3:33 pm [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#36):

    No, no, no, that’s ‘Cardassian‘. They sound similar, but the difference is…uh…err…hmmm…now you’ve got me stumped…

    FWIW, I can’t imagine Andy Robinson playing a mysterious, acid-tongued Kardashian.

  190. Gringo
    February 10th, 2012 at 3:33 pm [Reply]

    By the way, has anyone else prognosticated that the woman pushing her way onto the elevator in Juggs Parker will turn out to be the would-be assassin who shot Baba Booey the Saudi diplomat and who’s actually stalking April?

  191. Alfred E. Neuman
    February 10th, 2012 at 3:34 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#134) said: “@Alfred E. Neuman (#20): “Frosted Lime Congeal.” Really. Does it come sprinkled with scabs?”

    I’ve never seen any. As are most Texas corporations, Luby’s is non-union.

  192. Der Schnärkïnätör
    February 10th, 2012 at 3:43 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#159):
    “Pretentious Load of Twaddle” would be great name for a rock band!

  193. Frank Lee Meidere
    February 10th, 2012 at 3:45 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#188): It would make for an interesting Sunday Mark Trail strip: “And the little pine weasel has become endangered because people kill it for its skin. You see, they take it like this, slit its throat like this, and then skin it like this. Let me show you again.”

  194. Der Schnärkïnätör
    February 10th, 2012 at 3:45 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#164):

    The tasting menu at Worth! would perhaps include
    Green Material, Congealed
    Soft Orange Food
    Beige aux Lumps
    Yellow, in Puddles

    Don’t forget about Salmon Squares!

  195. Alfred E. Neuman
    February 10th, 2012 at 3:47 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#99): Two other things about Luby’s Cafeterias: Besides the “Frosted Lime Congeal”, their other signature dish is a fish square, and their fixed price meal is the “Lu Ann Platter”.
    Eerie, no?

  196. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 10th, 2012 at 3:48 pm [Reply]

    @Der Schnärkïnätör (#192): “Pretentious Load of Twaddle” would be great name for a rock band!

    Maybe a Yes or Emerson, Lake, and Palmer tribute band? Or Jethro Tull?
    The seventies set a high standard for pretentious twaddle.

  197. Alfred E. Neuman
    February 10th, 2012 at 3:50 pm [Reply]

    @Der Schnärkïnätör (#192) said: “@Poteet (#159):
    “Pretentious Load of Twaddle” would be great name for a rock band!”

    As would “Frosted Lime Congeal”.

  198. The Waz
    February 10th, 2012 at 3:52 pm [Reply]

    @Santa Royale With Cheese (#85):

    It’s a comforting thought until she realizes that with the recent(ish) retirements of the artists behind DT and GT, the next candidate is Jack Elrod.

    ‘Seriously, Jack, WTF does a giant moose have to do with my plot line of how Tommie is trying to be a singer’?

    ‘It’s a city moose’.

  199. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 10th, 2012 at 3:55 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#193): Reminds me of the Japanese whaling industry. It’s all for scientific research, of course, but you wouldn’t want to waste all that meat, you know, so they sell it on the open market. You can get whale sashimi in any decent sushi bar in Japan.

    // In case you’re wondering, it’s delicious.

  200. The Ridger
    February 10th, 2012 at 3:55 pm [Reply]

    @Der Schnärkïnätör (#183): Yeah, the same “Doctor” that treated a case of drug overdose with smelling salts. It’s no wonder the guy is dead.

    Hey! No dissing the Doc! She survived, didn’t she?

  201. commodorejohn
    February 10th, 2012 at 3:56 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#196): No, no. Pretentious, undoubtedly, but not twaddle. For that you’d need a late-’90s/early-2000s “indie” rock band.

  202. Frank Lee Meidere
    February 10th, 2012 at 3:59 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#199): Wouldn’t whale sashimi be more like steak tartar, considering that it’s mammal, not fish? Actually, it sounds delicious either way.

    I hear dolphin is good too. Of course, you don’t eat the smart ones, obviously — just the stupid ones who get caught in tuna nets.

  203. Frank Lee Meidere
    February 10th, 2012 at 4:00 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#199): PS: Couldn’t help noticing the “commented out” lines (//).

    Program much?

  204. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 10th, 2012 at 4:00 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#201): Well, I suppose one man’s bloviating is another man’s pretentious twaddle, and yet another’s inspiring profundity.

  205. Purple Prosecutor
    February 10th, 2012 at 4:02 pm [Reply]

    @Mr Frog (#173): It gets really crazy when you consider all the things (pianos, etc) that go on off-panel that DO get commented on.

  206. lynn
    February 10th, 2012 at 4:02 pm [Reply]

    I don’t read 9CL and did not check out the strip being discussed, but “a kiss on the corner of the mouth” in the context of “gay” brings to mind a well-known and much commented-on letter from Eleanor Roosevelt to a woman friend.

  207. The Rixter of Dibley
    February 10th, 2012 at 4:03 pm [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#50): The wikipedia page also says: “The depictions of the three main characters are loosely based on real actors. Tommie is based on Lucille Ball, Margo on Joan Collins and Lu Ann on Tuesday Weld.”
    I was watching “Valley of the Dolls” recently, all the while wishing A3G was more like that. I’d like Tommie much better if she was cringing in withdrawal and screaming for dolls. “More dolls, mule”?

  208. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 10th, 2012 at 4:04 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#203): Used to did.

    /* Not so much now. */
    REM Ever since they took the line numbers out of BASIC, the thrill is gone. Sometimes I feel there’s just no place to GOTO anymore.

  209. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    February 10th, 2012 at 4:05 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#175):

    I’d not thought of that old Monty Python bit for years, until about 10 minutes ago when I found myself talking about “Steel bolts spring out and puncture both cheeks” as part of, natually, a conversation I was having about Release Planning for our IT group. So, naturally, I refresh CC after the conversation and see a reference to Frog a la Peche.

  210. bats :[
    February 10th, 2012 at 4:08 pm [Reply]

  211. This Guy
    February 10th, 2012 at 4:08 pm [Reply]

    @Alfred E. Neuman (#20): I googled “Frosted Lime Congeal” and got this. Horseradish!? Did Letitia Cropley somehow get a website? Or is it just me, being like that British fellow who couldn’t imagine the combination of bread and garlic?

  212. Shrug
    February 10th, 2012 at 4:09 pm [Reply]

    And POOCH CAFE today throws in the first anthrax joke of the week.

    Leaving FUNKY WINKERBEAN to slap itself in the face (always a nice image to dwell upon) and mutter “Anthrax!!! That goes so WELL with cancer! Why didn’t *I* think of that?”

  213. The Rixter of Dibley
    February 10th, 2012 at 4:11 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#56): MT – So, uh, I see that Butch will find the coat, but how the hell is Tommy supposed to find Butch!?
    Ah, the thieves will find Tommy. When they see what an awesomely talented blind dog Butch is, they’ll assume that there are more where he came from, and by tracing his dog tags, they’ll raid the Tommy Dog Training Camp to steal all the valuable dogs. No?

  214. This Guy
    February 10th, 2012 at 4:12 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#208): Hey, I used to write BASIC, but then I stopped being in middle school.

    System.out.println(“And no, I didn’t take an arrow to the knee.”);

  215. pugfuggly
    February 10th, 2012 at 4:16 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#210):

    Yep, and I’m glad I did! Nice work, you clever chiroptera….

  216. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 10th, 2012 at 4:17 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#202): Well the Japanese call it sashimi, but you’re right, it actually tastes kind of like beef, sort of, rather than fish.

    What got me was the open hypocrisy of the Japanese about the whaling. It’s scientific research, they say. They want to see what effect killing a whole bunch of whales has on the whale population. Interesting: It seems to reduce the population. Better repeat the experiment just to be sure. And again. It’s not like they want to eat them or anything. But you don’t want to waste the meat, and it sure sells for a high price, and that way they can finance more research!

  217. Marthas Rolling Pin
    February 10th, 2012 at 4:23 pm [Reply]

    @This Guy (#211): I’ve actually eaten the full-fat, full-dairy version of that dish (called “Nerve Salad” in its North Carolina version), and it’s surprisingly good. You don’t actually taste the horseradish, but it puts a little edge on all the sweetness.

  218. Ned Ryerson
    February 10th, 2012 at 4:27 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#210): did someone say “puppet show”?

    That's our Sphinxter! [canned laughter]

    Say, his mouth kinda looks like…, oh never mind, I think I just got it.

  219. Rixternalities
    February 10th, 2012 at 4:29 pm [Reply]

    A3G I hope that Margo doesn’t ask Nina “How do you do it?!” again. Well, actually I do hope she does.

    BG&SS Somewhere in Canada, a valley is missing its peaceable kingdom. Loweezy, you’re no Mother McQueen.

    FC Oh, we see him, too, kid.

  220. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 10th, 2012 at 4:32 pm [Reply]

    @This Guy (#214): Dang, I’m always late to the new memes…

    // I used to play Elder Scrolls, but then I took an arrow to the knee.

  221. Baka Gaijin
    February 10th, 2012 at 4:36 pm [Reply]

    @Alfred E. Neuman (#195): Seriously, people eat that? I’ll be sticking to What-A-Burger when I’m in the area.

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#199): The blowhole isn’t very filling though the baleen provides much-needed fiber.

    @This Guy (#211): Screw the horseradish. Did you read the opening comment? “Recipe needs tweaking; it tastes a bit fake. It’s green and jiggly, and looks like it crawled out of a spaceship.” Sounds like someone’s been eating at a certain dinette in Charterstone.

  222. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    February 10th, 2012 at 4:41 pm [Reply]

    @This Guy (#214): Nothing wrong with BASIC. I wrote a 2-layer weather model for my numerical weather prediction class with QBASIC in college.

    While all my fellow students where struggling with FORTRAN-77 and C++ on the mainframe available to the interns at NCAR, I got mine working with my trusty overclocked 8086 in a week. Of course, it took 72 hours to make a 48-hour prediction at double-precision (I got it down to 20 minutes when I ran it again on a school 386DX later on).

  223. Shrug
    February 10th, 2012 at 4:45 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#193):

    Wasn’t that more or less how the last Great Auks died? Hey, they’re almost extinct, let’s kill some for Science while we still can…

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Great_Auk#Extinction

    “When the colony was initially discovered in 1835, nearly fifty birds were present. Museums, desiring the skins of the auk for preservation and display, quickly began collecting birds from the colony.[63] The last pair, found incubating an egg, was killed there on 3 July 1844, with Jón Brandsson and Sigurður Ísleifsson strangling the adults and Ketill Ketilsson smashing the egg with his boot.”

  224. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 10th, 2012 at 4:51 pm [Reply]

    @Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol (#222): Of course, it took 72 hours to make a 48-hour prediction…

    Hah! Literally a day late, eh? If you had an extra dollar you could have bought the 286 AT clone with the math co-processor…

    // I did a lot of real world work with QuickBasic, and Borland’s TurboBasic.

  225. Alfred E. Neuman
    February 10th, 2012 at 4:53 pm [Reply]

    JP— Could that be Steve Shannon’s nemesis, the hottie terrorist Samira, or have Wilson and Manley created yet another hottie terrorist?

  226. KreatureFeatures
    February 10th, 2012 at 4:53 pm [Reply]

    FW: In basketball parlance, today’s punchline is an airball.

  227. commodorejohn
    February 10th, 2012 at 4:53 pm [Reply]

    @Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol (#222): Heh, things got even funnier when you tried to use the built-in video functions (possibly the slowest drawing code I’ve seen in a professional product.) I still remember playing GORILLAS.BAS on an XT in CGA mode and getting single-digit frame rates…

  228. Alfred E. Neuman
    February 10th, 2012 at 5:02 pm [Reply]

    @This Guy (#211) said: “@Alfred E. Neuman (#20): I googled “Frosted Lime Congeal” and got this. Horseradish!? Did Letitia Cropley somehow get a website? Or is it just me, being like that British fellow who couldn’t imagine the combination of bread and garlic?”

    That recipe looks right, except that Luby’s doesn’t use the optional horseradish. They don’t want to risk killing or injuring their customers, whose median age is about 80.

  229. Shrug
    February 10th, 2012 at 5:02 pm [Reply]

    Do you like green glop with dirt?

    I do not like them
    Mary Worth,
    I do not like green glop with dirt.

    Would you like them
    from a kettle?
    Would you like them
    with a meddle?

    I do not like them
    from a kettle.
    I do not like them
    with a meddle.
    I do not like them
    here or there.
    I do not like them
    anywhere.
    I do not like green glop with dirt
    I do not like them, Mary Worth.

    Would you eat them
    when they’re gritty?
    Would you eat them
    with a biddy?

    Would you eat them,
    lose your senses,
    Never think of
    consequences?

    Would you eat them
    with some cola,
    Would you eat them,
    Slutty Nola?

    I will not eat
    green glop with dirt,
    I will not eat them,
    Mary Worth.

    And though I have
    obscene affairs,
    I draw the line at
    salmon squares.

  230. Sequitur
    February 10th, 2012 at 5:09 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#221):

    Screw the horseradish.

    Never say that around Nola.

  231. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    February 10th, 2012 at 5:11 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#196): Humbug! We saw Jethro Tull about ten years ago, and they gave a great show. They played about a 50-50 mix of old and new stuff. And for an encore, they did a beautifully corny rendition of “What a Wonderful World” that makes me smile whenever I think of it. They were just about the opposite of pretentious.

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#216): I had some whale meat, in 1981. We invited a Japanese exchange student over for dinner, and he brought this little can of it. I figured, well, this whale’s already dead, and I tried a little just to see what it was like. It was sweet, but that could just be how they prepared it. Last time.

    @Shrug (#223): That sounds like how they preserved the Natural Fort for future generations. Right up by the Wyoming/Colorado border, on highway 85, there was this giant rock formation, carved by the wind into intricate shapes. Some tribes had a battle there, where one tribe held out in the nature-made fortifications until they finally starved. We used to love visiting it. When they made I-25, the Highway Genius Department decided that people driving both ways would be able to enjoy this wonderful natural resource if they blew most of it to hell so that what was left would fit between the northbound and southbound lanes, and nobody would have to move the road a few yards or anything like that. And that’s what they did. Left about a third of it intact for tourists to wonder why it was such a big deal.

    I might smile upon learning that whoever was responsible for this died horribly.

  232. Liam
    February 10th, 2012 at 5:12 pm [Reply]

  233. Baka Gaijin
    February 10th, 2012 at 5:15 pm [Reply]

  234. Effluvius Erratus
    February 10th, 2012 at 5:16 pm [Reply]

    @UncleJeff (#55), @Cloudbuster (#66), and @Baka Gaijin (#134): Thank you, thank you, thank you. Sadly, I typed “enemies” when I meant “frenemies.” Oh well, I’m told that in Iran they intentionally weave one flaw into their rugs because only God (or is it Mary Worth?) is perfect.

  235. Der Schnärkïnätör
    February 10th, 2012 at 5:25 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#221):

    Sounds like someone’s been eating at a certain dinette some meddling old biddie’s house in Charterstone.

    Fixed that for ya!

  236. Der Schnärkïnätör
    February 10th, 2012 at 5:27 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug (#229): LMFAO!!

  237. Alfred E. Neuman
    February 10th, 2012 at 5:28 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#221) said: “@Alfred E. Neuman (#195): Seriously, people eat that? I’ll be sticking to What-A-Burger when I’m in the area.”

    Mmmm, Whataburger, my favorite. Unfortunately, I’m on a diet, so I’m down to only one Whataburger per month…aargh. Like Luby’s, Whataburger is a Texas corporation, but amazingly, they don’t serve frosted lime congeal shakes.

  238. Baka Gaijin
    February 10th, 2012 at 5:29 pm [Reply]

    @Der Schnärkïnätör (#235): I thought a “dinette” the place in the house a person eats that’s not the kitchen but not the formal dining room. A place where you can serve green glop without using the Wedgewood china.

  239. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 10th, 2012 at 5:31 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug (#229): Refulgent!

  240. Der Schnärkïnätör
    February 10th, 2012 at 5:35 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#238): I was thinking “diner”, as in the dump that Gina and Bree worked at where kidnappers are served and arrested.

    Brain fart on my part!

  241. Swordsmith
    February 10th, 2012 at 6:01 pm [Reply]

    Margo: Best A3g ever. We didn’t know Nina was pregnant because they never draw anyone below the ribcage. Margo didn’t know because she pays absolutely no attention to anyone other than herself. “Your figure is flawless,” the sheer hubris of saying such a thing in the presence of at LEAST a second trimester pregnancy or its equivalence in chocolate overindulgence! If it was anyone but Margo this would be stupid writing on a Mark Trailian scale. But not only does it work, and lampshade the “upper half of the body only” art, but it also works that Nina is perfectly OK with Margo’s clear rote statement of her nonexistant slimness.

    On a side note, is it possible Margo has Asberger’s? Limited social skills, lack of empathy, tendency to excessively focus on a limited range of subjects…

    MT Pluperfect subjunctive?

    MW> Their marriage was weak, so that my assault on it proved the fatal blow… but for a strong marriage, it would merely have made the thing ring like a bell. Why does it always have to be either/or with you, Mary? Have you considered, for example, that it’s possible for a woman to like both men -and- other women? Speaking of teh pluperfect subjunctive, why don’t we go to the Bum Boat and get Scrod?

  242. Swordsmith
    February 10th, 2012 at 6:02 pm [Reply]

    Grr, skip preview and this is what I would deserve.

  243. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 10th, 2012 at 6:08 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#231): Don’t get me wrong… I love Jethro Tull – got most of the albums – seen the band several times. But to quote Ian Anderson himself from the liner notes of the 2001 best of album, “I just looked up the definition of Baroque. ‘Bold, vigorous and exhuberant style… degenerating into tasteless extravagance in ornament…’ All right. Fair Cop. I might have been there just once or twice – OK? But what fun.”

  244. debussy fields
    February 10th, 2012 at 6:21 pm [Reply]

    MT–Look out. In the past week, the robbers have used the word “dump” two different ways. They dumped the car, and now they’re staying in a dump. Tomorrow one of them’s going to say he has to take a dump.

  245. Frank Lee Meidere
    February 10th, 2012 at 6:31 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#208): Oh lordy! I’d forgotten all about those numbered lines. Been about 30 years since I grammed my last prog. I think we were up to C++ at that point. Loved OOPs. Kind of miss loops, thought.

    Spaghetti code: delicious with a cup of Java. (Okay, so I’m mixing generations there — call it fusion cuisine.)

  246. Alfred E. Neuman
    February 10th, 2012 at 6:34 pm [Reply]

    @Maggie the Cat (#38): @Nehemiah Scudder (#145): @The Ridger (#155)
    Re: “I hate the term ‘baby bump’. HATE IT.”

    How about “nascent neonate nodule”?

  247. Bardelot
    February 10th, 2012 at 6:34 pm [Reply]

    I think what’s going on in A3G is what TV Tropes calls “behind the black”: the characters can only see what the camera sees. Nina’s pregnancy was hiding behind the black, so Margo couldn’t see it.

  248. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 10th, 2012 at 6:44 pm [Reply]

    @Alfred E. Neuman (#246): How about “nascent neonate nodule”?
    Ok. Sure. But I don’t think much of it as a band name.

  249. This Guy
    February 10th, 2012 at 6:50 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#227): Man, I had the QBASIC Gorillas game. Ah, the many joys of exploding bananas. Inevitably, I tried to break the engine by flinging bananas at higher velocities than the program could cope with, resulting in a kind of “quantum banana tunneling” effect.

  250. Frank Lee Meidere
    February 10th, 2012 at 6:57 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#216): This sounds like perfectly reasonable research to me. After all, it’s always possible that by killing whales the population could increase, right? Like the Dodo bird? Or…maybe not the best example. But say, the passenger pigeon? I heard they were mighty tasty, too.

  251. Frank Lee Meidere
    February 10th, 2012 at 6:59 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#232): XT3 = Extraterrestrial foodstuff #3. It was extremely popular among the Fuzzy population in H. Beam Piper’s books. To everyone else, it was a barely-edible substance. Not sure about the colour, though. (The Fuzzies called it “ex-tee-fee”.)

  252. Alter Ego
    February 10th, 2012 at 7:24 pm [Reply]

    @debussy fields (#244): MT – Tomorrow they go out back and the guy with the color-changing hair says, “So this is the hole we’re going to take a dump in?”

  253. Mark B.
    February 10th, 2012 at 7:28 pm [Reply]

    I dunno, Nola seems to be a little ‘roadside’ to me. Not all of the green glop in the universe is ever going to cover that over.

  254. bats :[
    February 10th, 2012 at 7:47 pm [Reply]

    @Marthas Rolling Pin (#217): any idea for the name, Nerve Salad?

    @Alfred E. Neuman (#225): maybe it’s her twin sister, Skippy.

    @Shrug (#229): bravo! Bravo! Author!

    @Alfred E. Neuman (#237): What-a-Burger WILL make malts, though, not just shakes. Bless ‘em!

  255. Señor Tortilla
    February 10th, 2012 at 8:08 pm [Reply]

    @Alfred E. Neuman (#237): They do sell burgers that are cheap and good, though, and they don’t have ketchup packets (eschewing them for full plastic “dipping-style” ketchup containers). There’s fried pies, and they even bring your order to your table, restaurant-style!

    On a similar note, Luby’s (which has owned Fuddruckers since 2010) does have restaurants throughout the south. I suppose going to the Luby’s in Houston at 13451 Northwest Freeway would be your best choice and the optimum Luby’s experience. Why? It’s in a not-great part of town, but the corporate headquarters is three blocks down…

  256. Dennis
    February 10th, 2012 at 9:09 pm [Reply]

    @Pyzimber (#5): I was thinking more along the lines of Golobulus from the GI Joe cartoons.

  257. Vince M
    February 10th, 2012 at 9:19 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#199): Aww man, whale meat again?

  258. Liam
    February 10th, 2012 at 9:29 pm [Reply]

    MW-We don’t know what that green stuff is but we know that Mary will be serving Nola crow later on.

  259. Sgt. Stoned
    February 10th, 2012 at 10:59 pm [Reply]

    MW: Yes, Mary, the broken marriage is all Nola’s fault. The cheating husband was just an innocent victim of soycum-stance.

  260. Écureuil Écumant
    February 11th, 2012 at 8:33 am [Reply]

    “…resulting in a kind of ‘quantum banana tunneling’ effect.”

    Shhh, Brooke’ll hear you!

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