Mark Trail, 2/12/12
Oh, hey, Mark, have you slipped something completely horrifying into the last panel of Sunday’s nature lesson? Yes, let’s all gaze upon the repulsive New Zealand flatworm, which has no natural predators. Presumably once they finish devouring all the earthworms available, they’ll start moving up the food chain, and by the time they get to humans they’ll be about six feet long and completely unstoppable. Fortunately, these monsters appear to be confined to island nations at the moment, but it’s probably best to eradicate all life in New Zealand and Great Britain with atomic fire, just to be sure.
Beetle Bailey, 2/12/12
Of course, it may already be too late for the rest of the world, as even members of the U.S. military appears to have been infected with awful mutagenic diseases that can transform them into horrific beast-men.
Funky Winkerbean, 2/12/12
And don’t forget, Crazy Harry, every birthday brings you closer to the moment when you’ll tumble through the narrows of the hourglass of time onto an awful pit of impaling spikes! ARE YOU SMILING AS YOU BLOW OUT THOSE CANDLES, WHY ARE YOU SMILING, BIRTHDAYS ARE FOR THINKING ABOUT DEATH AND ONLY DEATH