Archive: Funky Winkerbean

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Dennis the Menace, 6/4/20

This is definitely the most erotic Dennis the Menace panel I can remember seeing in some time! I guess the joke is that Alice is exhausted because she has no access to childcare, which is why she’s been on her feet all day and also why Dennis is sitting there staring at her while she’s in the dentist chair, but the way she and the dentist are gazing into each other’s eyes definitely seems like things are about to get real romantic real fast, which is why it’s so unsettling that Dennis is sitting there staring at her. Couldn’t she have just left him at the Wilsons’ house? Like, he clearly spends several hours a day there anyway.

Funky Winkerbean, 6/4/20

Ha ha, Les did forget that his own wife works at the same school where he works, probably, but honestly, did she even need some sort of inside information to know that Les is having a bad day? Bad days are the only kind of days Les has. He needs them, to live.


UPDATE ON MY LIVE COMEDY SHOW THAT WAS SCHEDULED TO HAPPEN TOMORROW: We the comics who were going to be in that show do not feel like it’s a particularly “funny” time to be in America right now! We’re postponing it to a later date. If you’ve written to me asking for the Zoom URL for the show, I have your email and I’ll send it when I have a new date/and time! And if you want to be on that list, email me at

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Mary Worth, 6/1/20

Finally, our long national nightmare is over! No, not that nightmare. Not the other one either. No, I’m talking about the interminable Dawn love story plot, which has finally wrapped up (for now [ominous music sting]) so we can move on to something important, like … a Toby plot? Sure. Absolutely. I will accept a Toby plot, fine. She’s going to fail at something, right? Baking, this time? I will definitely accept a Toby plot where she fails at baking.

Funky Winkerbean, 6/1/20

Newspaper comics are a weird medium — at once ephemeral but also in many ways demanding years of accumulated reading to truly understand the characters. For instance, you know and I know that Les is supposed to be the sympathetic protagonist of this strip, but … how would you expect anyone else to know? How is this not the beginning of a story where the wife murders her husband and all the readers at home root for her to get away with it?

Blondie, 6/1/20

Ha ha, that sure is a topical joke! I guess you two have given up on trying to not to give coronavirus to each other, though, huh? Just breathing droplets onto each other’s faces and whatnot. Anyway, is someone going to explain why the bird is wearing fuckin sunglasses or what.

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Funky Winkerbean, 5/31/20

It would take too long for me to explain in detail and it would be boring if I bothered to try, but this week’s Funky Winkerbean began with Mopey Pete learning about the existence of Hoagy Carmichael and then going through a series of free associations that passed through this before producing the inspiration for a new Atomic Komix title. Most I’m posting this because I think it would be very, very funny if Pete did in fact credit Hoagy Carmichael, and then Hoagy Carmichael’s estate sued Atomic Komix into bankruptcy.

Shoe, 5/31/20

“I mean, I guess you could say he’s a coworker … I’m a bird, he’s a dog, we’re both cops, there’s no real hierarchy there. ‘Pet’ is more of a sex thing, really (we’re also lovers).”

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 5/31/20

It’s funny because Snuffy and Loweezy are very poor and seeking even basic medical care is ruinous to them financially! Ha … ha?