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That cop is right to recoil in terror

Spider-Man, 5/31/12

So I’ve done some extensive research (i.e., 90 seconds or so of cursory Googling) and I can’t find any evidence of “Clown-9″ appearing in any iteration of the Spider-Man mythos before this! I’m sure that I’m about to be severely corrected by angry comic book nerds mere seconds from now, but for the moment I’m going to choose to believe that Newspaper Spider-Man has finally risen high enough in Marvel’s pecking order that it’s being allowed to introduce its own super-villains. Naturally its first attempt is Clown-9, an unfunny man with no particular superpowers dressed in an ugly clown outfit, choosing a villain-name based on a feeble stab at wordplay, determined to exact revenge on those who thwarted his attempt at Broadway stardom. Panel one, in which we see this pathetic figure in his underwear as he changes pants, is presumably this feature’s attempt at the “gritty realism” it’s heard so much about.

Gasoline Alley, 5/31/12

Are you looking for a metaphor that’s supposed to indicate something good and yet will fill anyone who hears it with revulsion and disgust? How about “happy as a kitty with a mouth full of mouse meat”? Mmm mmm, mouse meat! Mouse meat in your mouth. So much mouse meat in your mouth that your mouth is full … full of mouse meat. Enjoy!

Marmaduke, 5/31/12

Marmaduke’s owners believe that, if only they violate all human laws to help him satisfy his foul sexual appetites, he will spare them when the Day of Wrath comes. How wrong they are!

349 responses to “That cop is right to recoil in terror”

  1. Rocky Stoneaxe
    May 31st, 2012 at 8:26 am [Reply]

    Speed Bump — “And if we don’t like your manuscript, we have the right to terminate you with extreme prejudice.”

    Dogs of C-Kennel — Does this strip actually run in any newspapers? Because the image of a mangled animal corpse lying in the road would be enough to get “Dogs” pulled from the newspapers around here.

    No link because today’s strip deserves to be buried along with the animal corpse.

  2. Rocky Stoneaxe
    May 31st, 2012 at 8:27 am [Reply]

    Clown Asinine — Hardy gets dressed for his job as a waiter at the trendiest new restaurant in town: Le Bouffon Six. Although why he has to bring his serving tray home with him is a mystery wrapped in an enema*.

    *Hence the term “ass clown”!

  3. Here come da Judge
    May 31st, 2012 at 8:31 am [Reply]

    SM: “Clown 9″ looks kinda like that dude from Prodigy. I’m not sure which one I’m less excited about seeing in the newspapers.

    JP: In a surprising plot twist, Avery Blackstone finally reveals his eyes. Disappointingly, they are not red, bloodshot, crossed, or anything else that might have the potential to make this current story arc remotely interesting.

  4. ScienceGiant
    May 31st, 2012 at 8:33 am [Reply]

    @Here come da Judge (#3): I was thinking Insane Clown Posse, myself. In which case, juggalos in Spider-Man? BRING IT ON!!!


  5. Señor Tortilla
    May 31st, 2012 at 8:35 am [Reply]

    FW: Wait, did the Bearded One just arbitrarily start off with his rant, and include a “furthermore” before even listening? What a jerk!

    Spider-Man: WHAT THE HECK. This guy is so much of a D-list villain even Spider-Man wouldn’t take him as a threat.

  6. Liam
    May 31st, 2012 at 8:37 am [Reply]

    Marmadue-Please hurry the only thing keeping you from being implaed by his giant erection is this car door.

    FC-I don’t really listen to the voices in my head. I just do what they say.

    MW-”What if Dawn becomes the sort of person who only finds love in one type of thing and can’t solve the simplest of her problems but instead is constantly passing them off on to someone else,” Wilbur ponders deciding that he should have a sandwich before he goes to Mary for advice.

    MT-”Who are you? What are you doing here? Do you think that giant bever is some kind of sexual symbolism?”

  7. Mumbly_joe
    May 31st, 2012 at 8:38 am [Reply]

    Naturally its first attempt is Clown-9, an unfunny man with no particular superpowers dressed in an ugly clown outfit, [...] determined to exact revenge on those who thwarted his attempt at Broadway stardom.

    Wasn’t that one of Joker’s (various) origin stories?

  8. Jon the Red
    May 31st, 2012 at 8:39 am [Reply]

    I can’t wait to watch Mary Jane defeat Clown-9 while Spider-Man sits on the pavement and watches.

  9. LP2004
    May 31st, 2012 at 8:40 am [Reply]

    S-M: Clown-9? I keep mentally expanding that to ‘Clown-9 From Outer Space’. I guess it’s appropriate that the most ludicrous villain in recent memory would pick a nom de villainy that calls to mind the most ludicrous movie in history.

    Hardy Laurel – the Ed Wood of comic strip supervillains.

    (Sorry for the re-post. My primary reason for doing it was to edit something that had been bugging me since the initial post.)

  10. G.O.M. Photheres
    May 31st, 2012 at 8:40 am [Reply]

    DtM: Some folks look at today’s panel and see a lovable rapscalliony from-the-mouths-of-babes gag. Others see a tired retread of the same old joke. I see some punk kid diming on his old who just wants to hit the links and relax for once, that is, I see motive, means, and opportunity.

    GT: Jaxon’s dad got a job in … Idaho? Sounds far fetched. Now, if she means his own private Idaho, that’s more believable.

    S-M: Superpro-tip, kids … No matter what the metadimensional devilgnomes of V4641 Sagittarii tell you after the fact, soaking your villainous clown costume in your own special brew of PCP, LSD, MDPV, and DDT and putting it on won’t give you super powers.

  11. Chareth Cutestory
    May 31st, 2012 at 8:40 am [Reply]

    Spider-Man: I know some stories lend some time to the superhero answering the call to adventure by showing them crafting their own outfit. There’s no reason they can’t flip the script and show a villain doing the same, that’s actually a bit interesting. But WHERE in the hell does somebody pick up a custom clown tie with the number 9 on it??

  12. Weaselboy
    May 31st, 2012 at 8:44 am [Reply]

    SM – I think we’re in for a Phantom of the Opera-type story here. Except instead of a phantom, it will be a clown, and instead of an opera, it will be a really bad play.

  13. Rob
    May 31st, 2012 at 8:48 am [Reply]

    Don’t know how many here are fans of HERMAN (I have several of the HERMAN books), but its creator Jim Unger just passed:

  14. Chyron HR
    May 31st, 2012 at 8:49 am [Reply]

    SM – Clown-9 is actually an amalgamation of the Marvel Comics villains “Crimson Dynamo” and “Whiplash”.

  15. Blaise Marcoux
    May 31st, 2012 at 8:50 am [Reply]

    Typically, in comics, one praises a publication for introducing a new villain and expanding the universe, instead of resorting to a stock character from the rogue gallery. But newspaper Spider-Man is not a comic. And seeing is how it’s badly copyright infringing at least two or three DC enemies at once with this… guy, you really have to wonder why they didn’t just say the bad guy’s Mysterio using a fake name and call it a day.

  16. Canton
    May 31st, 2012 at 8:52 am [Reply]

    SM: Comic Vine does reveal that there is, in fact, a character by the name of “Clown 9″. Said character, however, apparently appears in two issues of Flaming Carrot Comics (published by Dark Horse) and bears no relation to Spider-Man whatsoever. Marvel does have a character by the name of Cloud 9, but she’s an Avenger. Of sorts. I think. She has little to do with Spider-Man as far as I know, and would thus probably defeat Clown 9 in a panel or two.

    The more you know…

  17. Purple Prosecutor
    May 31st, 2012 at 8:54 am [Reply]

    @Chyron HR (#14): Now I’m imagining this strip (and all of Hardy Laurel’s terrible ad-libs) in Mickey Rourke’s Russian accent from Iron Man 2. The comic has improved a thousandfold.

  18. Chip Whittle
    May 31st, 2012 at 8:56 am [Reply]

    So, wait, “Hardy Laurel” wasn’t already his unfunny stage name?

    And his power is the ability to make people involuntarily snort coffee out their noses, then turn away, sadly shaking their heads?

  19. Dennis Jimenez
    May 31st, 2012 at 8:57 am [Reply]

    S-M – Everybody loves a clown, so why don’t you…. um, er, me…, I….

    GA – I’m Happier than LuAnn with a mouth full’a meadow muffin!!!

    Marm – An’ he’s not too perticler about who’s leg he humps….

    Adios Amigos, DJ.

  20. Ned Ryerson
    May 31st, 2012 at 9:00 am [Reply]

    S-M: Well, now we know that villainous clowns put on their pants just like the rest of us.

  21. Chareth Cutestory
    May 31st, 2012 at 9:01 am [Reply]

  22. word-doctor
    May 31st, 2012 at 9:02 am [Reply]

    SM: Clown 9 from Outer Space.
    SM2: Check out Hardy. Then check out Miss Avis today. Mmmmhmmmm?

  23. Crankenstank
    May 31st, 2012 at 9:06 am [Reply]

    I remember the good old days, when super-villains wore briefs and booties instead of boxers and fireman boots.

  24. sporknpork
    May 31st, 2012 at 9:06 am [Reply]

    Good lord! Look at the size of Clovia’s head in proportion to her arms and body. She looks like a homemade doll circa 1880 on Antiques Roadshow… so at least she’s at least era appropriate for the strip.

  25. Dennis Jimenez
    May 31st, 2012 at 9:10 am [Reply]

    @Crankenstank (#23): Boxer or briefs for the funny pages superheros? I’d say, just Depends®….

  26. Andrusi
    May 31st, 2012 at 9:11 am [Reply]

    If you drop Clown-9 into an ordinary circus, will all the other clowns also become Clown-9?

  27. lorne
    May 31st, 2012 at 9:17 am [Reply]

    A villain who’s an evil clown?
    This is major comics news if Spider-Man’s comic strip is introducing a villain with such an original concept. The ideal of a crazed villain who’s also some kind of joker, well, it’s so original it changes everything I know about comic books.

  28. Laura
    May 31st, 2012 at 9:17 am [Reply]

    I believe Gasoline Alley is making a little Japanese culture reference, there! Lucky the money-making cat is posed like a Maneki-neko. Surely that’s not a coincidence.

  29. lorne
    May 31st, 2012 at 9:20 am [Reply]

  30. S. Stout
    May 31st, 2012 at 9:21 am [Reply]

    S-M: You all laugh now, but Clown-9 may be to Spider-Man what the Joker is to Batman. They are already direct opposites; Clown-9 is getting dressed and planning his day, while Spider-Man is laying on the couch watching TV naked.

  31. cheech wizard
    May 31st, 2012 at 9:21 am [Reply]

    @Andrusi (#26): …and will they have sex by touching the bottoms of their bare feet together?

  32. Jon the Red
    May 31st, 2012 at 9:24 am [Reply]

    @Chareth Cutestory (#11):
    What kills me the most about his tie is that he seems to come up with the name “Clown-9″ while he dons his new costume for the first time, via inner monologue. So maybe he came up with the name in advance and ordered the tie then; that doesn’t tell me why he’s explaining the name to himself now. No, I just think he already had ten giant novelty ties numbered 0-9 and figured, “If there was ever a time to find a use for these damn things, now would be it.”

  33. Illustrator Steve
    May 31st, 2012 at 9:25 am [Reply]

    MT – So… let me get this straight… Mark, knowing he’s not licenced or trained as a P.I., law officer or lawyer, travels ALONE in a canoe, deep into a secluded portion of the wilderness, without any weapon, for the sole purpose of interrogating some total stranger whom he suspects is a cold blooded murderer just because the guy may have dropped a gum wrapper on the ground in the middle of the woods? This explains a lot. This strip isn’t written by Jackelrod, it’s written by Mark Trail himself! …After all, as far fetched as all this nonsense is, in Mark’s mind at least, IT WILL MAKE A GOOD STORY!

  34. Irrischano
    May 31st, 2012 at 9:27 am [Reply]

    “That why I’ll call myself — Clown-6? *flips over emblem* Clown-9!”

  35. Digger
    May 31st, 2012 at 9:30 am [Reply]

    Clown 9? When exactly did Lynn Johnston take over writing Spiderman?

    Marmaduke: That cop looks like he’s fully aware of just how close he is to being violated. My guess is there will be no ticket, and Marmaduke will get a police escort to his booty call.

  36. Spiff Bereft
    May 31st, 2012 at 9:30 am [Reply]

    S-M: “When I wear this clown outfit I’ll feel positively PMS! That’s why I’ll call myself ProJesterOne!”

    I’m sorry.

  37. Dennis Jimenez
    May 31st, 2012 at 9:31 am [Reply]

  38. Chip Whittle
    May 31st, 2012 at 9:32 am [Reply]

    Apartment 3-G: Really, can any room with Tommie in it be said to have anyone in it?

    Curtis, portrait of a nine-year-old crotchety old man. There’s, like, three different things he’s vaguely cranky about.

    Love Is… the hurt/heal nurse-play that saw the last four Mister Loves killed!

    Mandrake and Luciphor went to the College of Magic? I wonder if that’s, like, one of those sweet sleepy old colleges in upstate New York towns with ivy-covered in a town that begrudgingly loves them, or whether it’s part of the community college system, or if it’s affiliated with the University of Paranormal Things or, you know? What?

  39. Esther Blodgett
    May 31st, 2012 at 9:33 am [Reply]

    @Rob (#13): I always had a soft spot for Herman. Jim Unger had a knack for seeing things in a way that was ever-so-slightly “off.” My condolences to his family and his many fans.

  40. Ned Ryerson
    May 31st, 2012 at 9:33 am [Reply]

    @Andrusi (#26): If you drop Clown-9 into an ordinary circus, will all the other clowns also become Clown-9?

    It depends on whether the clowns are in the same karass.

  41. debussy fields
    May 31st, 2012 at 9:35 am [Reply]

    MT: Wait a minute, buddy. I didn’t say I wanted to ANSWER some questions, I said I wanted to ASK some questions. You’ve now asked me three (Yes, I consider ‘Oh?’ a question.) and more seem to be coming. My first question for you: What’s your problem?

    MW: “How long will this go on?” Tell us about it.

  42. boojum
    May 31st, 2012 at 9:36 am [Reply]


    Panel one, in which we see this pathetic figure in his underwear as he changes pants, is presumably this feature’s attempt at the “gritty realism” it’s heard so much about.

    Sorry, but I’m horribly afraid that Panel one is, in fact, this feature’s attempt to bring Teh Sexay and draw in all those influential gay readers. We’ve already been treated to our “hero”, dressed only in White Party miniskirt and wings, swinging in patented crotch-first arcs behind a speeding car. Struggling to keep his miniskirt in place. By tugging on it. The miniskirt, I mean.

    Puzzled that this scenario somehow failed in its objective, possibly by its over-subtlety, the writers are upping the ante by just stone-cold showing a man’s ass in tight white boxer briefs. The Gays like that. They’d read more about that, right?

    The kicker is the huge “9″ that, as he demonstrates in the next panel, can be… flopped around to reveal a “6.” Here, let him show you that several times in quick succession.

    And check out the size of those boots and gloves. Rawwwwr! This one’s for you, guys!

  43. Marc
    May 31st, 2012 at 9:37 am [Reply]

    9CL- So Edda doesn’t even bother to close the door behind her when she impalas out of an apartment in the middle of the night. The front door is probably wide open too. Amos is going to find a lot more than his cubic zirconia encrusted ring missing.

    Mark Trail- Mike Harris has bigger issues at hand than answering any of avid environmentalist Mark Trail’s questions. His airplane has either sunk or floated away or been stolen by villanious bush piloting wolves. All I know is that it sure isn’t at the dock anymore like it was a couple days ago.

    Mary Worth- That hideous orange couch has been moving incrementally closer to the TV every day. Dawn is pretty much right on top of it now. If she thinks she’s unlucky at love now, wait until she ruins her eyes sitting that close to the screen and has to get the same trendy pair of specs that her old man does. On the other hand maybe they’ll help her spot Dave banging his new/old girlfriend in the produce section a little sooner enabling her to avoid having to talk to them.

    Luann- If it’s any consolation, there’s only a couple of days left this week so this montage of Knute trying on ridiculous clothing hopefully will be over soon.

    Funky- Yeah… in real college athletics, coaches would have been in contact with recruits way before the end of May/beggining of June of the kid’s senior year. So the specialest snowflake must be pretty low on the priorities list. Either that or because her dillhole father chased them all away by being a pretentious dickbag before they were able to explain their business.

    A3G- Remind me again why anyone would give a flying fuck what Scott Gaines does? I know he’s filthy rich but why would he have any measure of celebrity at all? I can’t wrap my head around why anyone would think that Scott making out with Margo, with Nina and Tommie as the only witnesses by the way, would make gossip websites.

    Cranky- Ed is this close to flushing them out with mustard gas.

  44. Dood
    May 31st, 2012 at 9:38 am [Reply]

    Spider-Man: I was going to suggest that our japing jester put on his brown trousers, but then again, he’s going up against Spidey. Carry on, you crazy clown.

  45. Hogenmogen
    May 31st, 2012 at 9:40 am [Reply]


    “As __ as ___” is a similie. A metaphor is if dimwit Slim said that he actually had a mouth full of mouse meat (which is also alliteration).

  46. geekwhisperer
    May 31st, 2012 at 9:41 am [Reply]

  47. K. Ivan Ruppert
    May 31st, 2012 at 9:43 am [Reply]

    So let me get this straight: This guy is a good enough actor that he got cast in a broadway play (Considering the number of actors willing to die and kill for a role on Broadway, that’s something), gets himself kicked out because he won’t stop ad-libbing in horrible jokes into the play at inappropriate times, and the way he reacts is to become the world’s worst Joker ripoff?

    Good one, writers of Spider-Man. Good to see you’re keeping up your high narritive standards.

  48. Esther Blodgett
    May 31st, 2012 at 9:46 am [Reply]

    FW: Bob Newhart did the “man on the phone” bit better. Much much much much much much much much much MUCH better.

    Zits: Things They Don’t Tell You in High School: If you’re not a candidate for an elite university, busting your butt to ace the SAT is pretty much pointless. And even if you are a candidate for an elite university, the admissions office will spend 0.5 seconds looking at your score and then concentrate on your trumped-up CV and whether you’re a desirable ethnicity/race/legacy.

    Luann: He’s a pointy mohawk away from being Clown-9.

  49. RavenHawk
    May 31st, 2012 at 9:46 am [Reply]

    Spiderman: “I would have called myself CLOWN-5, but some jerk in Holland, is already using that name, & threatened to sue me, if I started calling myself that.”

  50. Rocky Stoneaxe
    May 31st, 2012 at 9:48 am [Reply]

    GA — Slim hates those meeces to pieces… and Lucky’s not too far behind.

  51. Hogenmogen
    May 31st, 2012 at 9:48 am [Reply]

    SM: Wow, that’s great, Mr. Clown. Come up with a witty, on-the-spot wordplay – except that you already had that #9 sitting there, you know? Kinda ruins the spontenaity. But thanks for turning directly into the camera and explaining your elaborate creative process to us, as the future victims of whatever malice you have in store will be itching to ask what happened to the first eight of your woefully inept posse.

  52. The Spectacular Spider-Brick
    May 31st, 2012 at 9:50 am [Reply]

    S-M: And here I thought I was being lame when I gave a robotic villain in my superhero roleplaying game the secret identity “Cy Borgnine.”

  53. Mibbitmaker
    May 31st, 2012 at 9:51 am [Reply]

    New Pop Culture’s Kids is finally up!

    More from Lucille, Michelle’s nemesis. She’d rather have Dr. Doofenshmirtz, really…

  54. Lord-z
    May 31st, 2012 at 9:53 am [Reply]

    SM – “Clown 9″? Seriously? He is going to be like that guy at every costume-party who has to explain to everyone what the heck he is supposed to be. “No, see, it is a kind of pun. I am happy and a clown, and when you are happy, you say you are on Cloud 9, get it? Cloud 9, clown 9? No, it’s a real saying. Christ, I know I should have picked a Cowboy theme instead”.

  55. Rocky Stoneaxe
    May 31st, 2012 at 9:56 am [Reply]

    @Rob (#13): Don’t know how many here are fans of HERMAN (I have several of the HERMAN books), but its creator Jim Unger just passed

    Goodbye, Funny Man!

  56. Droopy Says
    May 31st, 2012 at 9:59 am [Reply]

    @Weaselboy (#12): I suggested “Phantom of the Opera” a few days ago. Add in the clown costume and you’ve got “Laugh, Clown, Laugh.” With Spiderman, Generic Brand and Clown 9, you’ve got “The Unholy Three.” No doubt about it, we’re in for a Lon Chaney Ripoff Festival. But I won’t complain if Spiderman ends up as “He Who Gets Slapped.”

  57. TheDiva
    May 31st, 2012 at 10:00 am [Reply]

    SM: If I were generous, I would assume that “Clown-9″ is an affectionate parody of all those weird and/or lame Silver Age villains who inevitably end up gracing the archives of Since this is Spider-Man, however, I’m going to guess that a deadline-pressured writer had a nightmare fueled by eating too much pepperoni pizza while watching The Dark Knight, and this was the result.

    9CL: Either Amos or his reflection is on the wrong side of the bed, but I’m not sure which.

    A3G: Comics-universe TMZ must be the most boring site in the world.

    C’shaft: When Crankshaft blows up the grill, it’s not funny. When Crankshaft fails to blow up the grill, it’s not funny. The strip is consistent if nothing else.

    FW: Christ, what an asshole.

    Lio: After years of Crankshaft, I thought a blowing-up-the-grill joke would never make me smile again. Thank you, Lio, for proving me wrong.

    Luann: Wow, and here I thought there wasn’t a way to make Luann even more annoying.

    Marvin: ….He does have a point.

    MW: Dayam, Jaime got back!

    Pibgorn: TL;DR: “I like vampires. Vampires are sexy.”

    Pluggers want the damn kids offa their lawns.

  58. Mibbitmaker
    May 31st, 2012 at 10:01 am [Reply]

    S-M: Hell, Spider-Man would rather have Doofenshmirtz as a nemesis, too! Get in line, Michelle!

  59. Sequitur
    May 31st, 2012 at 10:01 am [Reply]

    SM: I think we’ve lost Baka Gaijin for the duration.

  60. Hogenmogen
    May 31st, 2012 at 10:03 am [Reply]

    A3G: Not “Hello”. Not “Good morning, Tommie”. It’s “Pour me a cup of coffee, will ya?”

    Sure, Margo rigs her job so surfing for celebrity gossip is billable hours. It’s a shame, since my wife does every day it for free.

    … she also surfs celebrity gossip sites every day, too. For free.

  61. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    May 31st, 2012 at 10:07 am [Reply]

    A&J: fanfic writing itself in 3, 2, 1 . . .

    Dilbert: my previous supervisor practiced this, called it “Teamwork.”

    LaCuc: KLANG! (also truth)

    Luann: this strip summed up in one word balloon, folks!

    SBp (aka Speed Bump): /fail. (several other pun concept fails today, including a rare miss by RwO.)

    Zits: ayup.

    Bizarro: auditioning for Dilbert?

    Pluggers: derusting the hooptie.

    Retail; ayup! (extended warranties are basically pure profit for the store, and should be avoided by any conscious consumer.)

  62. Cloudbuster
    May 31st, 2012 at 10:07 am [Reply]

    Pibgorn: I have to admit, this is one occasion where McEldowney’s talent for drawing horrifying, gaping, toothy maws is put to good use.

    ASM: It’s possible we have here a villain so lame that even Spiderman can defeat him. I know, I’m being crazily optimistic.

    FW: Summer Moore? Yes, I was going to offer you a scholarship, but it turns out your Dad is a smug dick, and we’re afraid it’s genetic, so the offer’s withdrawn.

    MW: What is that on the TV screen? It looks like some sort of mutant knight-monkey on horseback! Also, right there with ya, Wilbur, I’m only marginally more entertained by Dawn’s crippling depression than you are! Have you even tried kite-flying yet?

    RMMD: The only thing we’ve learned today is that Mabel has an hilarious “Ruh-Roh!” face!

  63. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    May 31st, 2012 at 10:07 am [Reply]

    Love Is . . . cosplay, with suppositories.

  64. Jim North
    May 31st, 2012 at 10:09 am [Reply]

    FC: Jeffy said the C-word! Y’know . . . “crumbum”.

    FW: Les is such a talented dream ruiner that he just does it on automatic now, not even paying any attention to what anyone else is saying and simply spitting out whatever will be most potentially destructive regardless of whether or not it’s appropriate to the situation.

    Luann: I already hated Glee, but somehow Luann is managing to make me hate Glee even more by association.

    S-M: Goodbye, Spider-Man! He no am Bizzaro #9!

  65. RavenHawk
    May 31st, 2012 at 10:15 am [Reply]

    @Lord-z (#54): …“No, see, it is a kind of pun. I am happy and a clown, and when you are happy, you say you are on Cloud 9, get it? Cloud 9, clown 9? No, it’s a real saying…”

    “Bah! You kids today, with your i-phones, & your piercings, & your ahhh, hula-hoops.”

    “The guys in my office, thought it was funny.”

  66. Hogenmogen
    May 31st, 2012 at 10:15 am [Reply]

    One effective tool for a criminal is the element of surprise. If you appear to have benign intents, then suddenly strike out of nowhere, there is no time for anyone to protect themselves. After the crime, the ability to slip quietly back into anonymity is also important to make a getaway.

    Some supervillians are able to overcome those obstacles by massing an impressive display of super-resources like flying cars, a few dozen henchmen, rocket attacks, super powers, etc.

    Hardy-har-har has none of that. Dressing in a clown suit, walking up to the future scene of the crime and laughing maniacally is not a plan born of genius. Then again, pushing a guy down the steps so you can take his place in a crappy play and then deliberately screwing up your lines, when all along you really wanted to be a circus clown isn’t very smart either.

    I say scratch this jackass and hit Spidey with a villian over whom he has no defense: The Cable Guy!

  67. Rocky Stoneaxe
    May 31st, 2012 at 10:16 am [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#50): Damn cat better get out of there — NOW. Mr. Slim Skinner has evil designs on him:

    My favorite line in the article has to be the last: “Animal advocates have cleaned Navarro and put him up for adoption.”

  68. Hogenmogen
    May 31st, 2012 at 10:20 am [Reply]

    A3G: Suppose Margo comes across a celebrity gossip site that mentions Scott Gaines’s possible infidelity based on the eyewitness testimony of his wife’s nurse…

  69. Amy Stephenson
    May 31st, 2012 at 10:23 am [Reply]

    In the time it’s taking Sam and Avery to blather about getting ready for a fly-fishing trip, entire species of fish have evolved, risen to dominate their ecosystems, and died out again. Meanwhile, Sophie’s learned two guitar chords and Abbey has found a new way to jut.

  70. Joe, the Upper-Evergreen Guy
    May 31st, 2012 at 10:24 am [Reply]

    FW: Summer’s adult lesbian lover, no doubt…

    RMMD: Mabel, Panel 3: She’s got that bottom “Twisty-Lip” action going on there, just like Sylvester Stallone. His long-lost mother, perhaps? Otherwise, her general reaction to the news that the police want to speak to her can be neatly summed up as: “…….Durrrrrrrrrr……?!”

    Love is…: Actually wearing clothes once in a while.

  71. Stroker Ace
    May 31st, 2012 at 10:24 am [Reply]

    SM – Clown 9 should team-up with Client 9 Eliot Spitzer for shenanigans and cheating.

  72. lynn
    May 31st, 2012 at 10:27 am [Reply]

    Kit ‘n’ Carlyle goes all Marvin on us again. What next? Carlyle morphs into Bill the Cat and starts hacking up hairballs? Well, that would make Kit ‘n’ Carlyle more entertaining, at least. (You’re a plugger if you realize that the name of the strip refers to an old-timey celebrity).

  73. Chip Whittle
    May 31st, 2012 at 10:31 am [Reply]

    9 Chickweed Lane: Man, poor Amos, waking up to see an Amos strip in 9 Chickweed Lane first thing in the morning.

    F Minus: Am I bad person to laugh so much at the “BONK”?

    Luann: Man, any other day and Knut’s outfit would be the ridiculous one. You almost feel bad for him.

    Pibgorn: Fun fact: if we can trick McEldowney into saying “exsanguinate” two more times he’ll turn into a Dalek!

    I’m honestly glad he explained Drusilla and Hair Monster are doing a vampire ouroboros thing here, because when I read the strip by itself, I think it’s just a lot of nothing happening with bloodshed.

    Pluggers are all huffy about those kids playing their so-called music on full volume, especially because with their natural deafness they have to play their music on full volume.

  74. Dennis Jimenez
    May 31st, 2012 at 10:31 am [Reply]

    @The Spectacular Spider-Brick (#52): Did you hear about the fight between Ernest Borgnine and Jack Palance – it got ugly….

  75. seismic-2
    May 31st, 2012 at 10:32 am [Reply]

    SM: Hardy Laurel had better hurry up and get dressed – Clowns 1 through 8 are already outside waiting for him, in the little car.

    Tune in tomorrow when Edda slaps Amos in the face with a fish, in the next exciting installment of 9 Clownweed Lane!

  76. Ignatz
    May 31st, 2012 at 10:33 am [Reply]

    Rest In Peace, Mr. Unger. Thanks for the laughs.

  77. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    May 31st, 2012 at 10:37 am [Reply]

    Mastiff pupperitos.


    iron iron.

    two examples of car geekery win.

    This is what I hope Poteet looks like when she looks at m squee-links. :-D


    Alton Brown owns corgis. Somehow, I’m not surprised.

  78. pugfuggly
    May 31st, 2012 at 10:44 am [Reply]

    Here’s a lesson for all you aspiring supervillains out there: if your villain pseudonym can only be understood with a long-form explanation like the one in today’s Spiderman, you need to make it snappier. Otherwise, your crime sprees are really going to drag.

    “I am Clown-9, and I will destroy you all!”

    “So are there 8 other clowns with you?”

    “Well, no, I named myself Clown-9 because I’m on cloud nine when I put the costume on. See, it’s a pun!”

    “So if you’re on cloud nine, why are you so angry?”

    “Because I was fired from a broadway show for…well, it’s a bit of a long story….”

    “So why a clown costume then?”

    “Well, it was a comedy, but nobody laughed, so now I’m a clown, a happy angry clown, so that when…uh….hmmm…pardon me, I have to get back to the costume store and see if that lobster suit is still there…”

  79. NoahSnark
    May 31st, 2012 at 10:45 am [Reply]

    Cloud-9 has less brain power than your average turnip, the fashion sense of a paint palette in a centrifuge, and all the powers of a five year old throwing a tantrum. Its just the kind of pulse-pounding story that will lead me to the new Spider-Man movie this summer.

  80. Nehemiah Scudder
    May 31st, 2012 at 10:47 am [Reply]

    @Chareth Cutestory (#11): But WHERE in the hell does somebody pick up a custom clown tie with the number 9 on it??

    There’s an outfit in China that will make you a spandex outfit of any super hero or villain you ever heard of for quite a modest fee. Just give them your measurements and a few weeks later it arrives in the mail. Several friends of mine used them last Halloween, and I must say, the costumes were pretty impressive. For the price, that is. I’m sure they were violating all sorts of licensing and copyright laws.

    // I wouldn’t be surprised if they did custom work if you sent them a picture or a sketch. A clown tie should be easy.

    // Fair warning, probably everybody will want to be Clown-9 next Halloween. I shall probably go as Thomas Pynchon again, or Sponge Bob.

  81. sully
    May 31st, 2012 at 10:47 am [Reply]

    Clowns one through eight were too embarrassed to be seen within a mile of Spider-Bore. ‘Clown 9′ was just a not-so-fortunate coincidence. Zzzzzz.

  82. Pozzo
    May 31st, 2012 at 10:49 am [Reply]

    Finally – a villain Spidey can beat without calling on another Marvel super-hero’s help. (“Okay, Torch — it’s your turn.” “No, I helped him beat Electro — send Hawkeye.”)

  83. Doctor Handsome
    May 31st, 2012 at 10:50 am [Reply]

    “I’m as happy as a pussy with a bird inside me!”

  84. Mibbitmaker
    May 31st, 2012 at 10:51 am [Reply]

    9CL: Looks like Near-Miss-o-palooza ’12 is back on again! Dammit!

  85. Ulysses Pornstache III
    May 31st, 2012 at 10:53 am [Reply]

    @LP2004 (#9): It fits. “I am also poorly conceived, poorly written and rife with production errors! That is why I will further call myself — Clown-9 from Outer Space!”

  86. Tim
    May 31st, 2012 at 10:53 am [Reply]

    Are the ears part of Hardy’s costume too? They don’t seem to be costume colored, but on the other hand they are freakishly large such that you wouldn’t think they were, um, naturatl.

  87. Tim
    May 31st, 2012 at 10:53 am [Reply]

    Are the ears part of Hardy’s costume too? They don’t seem to be costume colored, but on the other hand they are freakishly large such that you wouldn’t think they were, um, natural.

  88. Nehemiah Scudder
    May 31st, 2012 at 10:56 am [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#61): (extended warranties are basically pure profit for the store, and should be avoided by any conscious consumer.)

    Agreed. Except for laptops and cameras for certain people. Mrs. Scudder is not nearly as graceful as she is beautiful, and those extended warranties have paid for themselves many times over.

  89. Doctor Handsome
    May 31st, 2012 at 11:09 am [Reply]

    Jesus, I’d hate to see the 8 lesser clowns this wanker’s an improvement on.

  90. Mark B.
    May 31st, 2012 at 11:12 am [Reply]

    I’m fairly sure that whoever’s drawing Spider Man these days is using software to do the lettering instead of doing it by hand, but the font on the ’9′ is weird. I thought for a second he was calling himself Clown [backwards 'P']. He’s even bigger than Prince. I think it’s rather daring to use the Cyrillic alphabet in a newspaper comic.

  91. bats :[
    May 31st, 2012 at 11:16 am [Reply]

    9CL: how many LARGE mirrors does one really need in the bedroom? I can understand Miss Edda Itsallaboutme!, but this is Amos’ bedroom — unless they’re funhouse mirrors that make things LARGER (nudge nudge wink wink).

    S-M: anyone see Baka Gaijin recently?

  92. Liam
    May 31st, 2012 at 11:20 am [Reply]

    Spiderman-Clown-9′s plan is to raise dead comedians and use them to terrorize the theater.

    A3G-Margo, that’s not a laptop. You are just staring into a briefcase that contains a human soul.

  93. Liam
    May 31st, 2012 at 11:21 am [Reply]

    Gasoline Alley-That guy looks like the sort who would be happy with a mouthful of man meat.

  94. Mibbitmaker
    May 31st, 2012 at 11:22 am [Reply]

    @Mark B. (#90): Actually, it looks like a bad drawing of a fertilized egg.

    FW: Les always answers the phone like that. Even when he recognizes the voice on the other end. And not as a joke, either! Here, he’s trying to crush his daughter’s dreams — the Specialest Snowflake daughter!
    Damn, that Les is a jerk!

    ReFOOB: This appearance in FOOB was Danny Bonaduce’s downfall. Sad, really.

    Garfield: Looney Tunes. First. Better.

    Zits: Seems like Borgman misses doing editorial cartoons.
    (I miss him doing those, too)

  95. Nehemiah Scudder
    May 31st, 2012 at 11:22 am [Reply]

    TASM: Hey Mr. Lee! If Clown 9 needs help there’s Ten Tigers from the Phantom that could use some work.

    // I can never see the initialism “TASM” without thinking of Borland’s superb Turbo Assembler. Powerful, well thought out, useful. What a contrast.

  96. Dood
    May 31st, 2012 at 11:23 am [Reply]

    Spider-Man: Who’s number one? You are Clown 9.

  97. Islamorada Girl
    May 31st, 2012 at 11:31 am [Reply]

    S-M. Please tell me some else spotted the rip off (this could hardly be called a tribute: it IS S-M) of classic bad horror films Plan 9 From Outer Space and Killer Clowns From Outer Space. Someone is leaning over my shoulder and I have to pretend to be editing a ms, so I can’t look back.

  98. Dennis Jimenez
    May 31st, 2012 at 11:33 am [Reply]

    @Islamorada Girl (#97): Don’t forget the Insane Clown Posse….

  99. Nehemiah Scudder
    May 31st, 2012 at 11:40 am [Reply]

    Apparently Clown 9 was a recurring character in Flaming Carrot comics, published in the 1980s. He was a villain, described as “dour”, and was an enemy of the hero, the eponymous Flaming Carrot.

    // Got to be be better than this guano.

  100. G.O.M. Photheres
    May 31st, 2012 at 11:43 am [Reply]

    @boojum (#42):

    Panel one, in which we see this pathetic figure in his underwear as he changes pants, is presumably this feature’s attempt at the “gritty realism” it’s heard so much about.

    Sorry, but I’m horribly afraid that Panel one is, in fact, this feature’s attempt to bring Teh Sexay…

    Agreed. “Gritty” would require some skid marks on those boxer briefs, and to account for his lack of impulse control, anger issues and brick shit-house physique, we need to add some ‘roid tracks to his thighs and speed bumps behind the knees. The final touch of gritty realism would come in tomorrow’s strip when on his way to the theater, Clown 9 dies from “excited delirium” after resisting a stop n’frisk.

  101. The Ridger
    May 31st, 2012 at 11:48 am [Reply]

    MGG: Ummmm. Nice try, but this is not how Twitter works. You have them sending tweets to themselves, not each other. Thanks for playing.

  102. Sans Sense
    May 31st, 2012 at 11:58 am [Reply]

    S-M: Clown-9? Really? This has to be the lamest attempt yet by Marvel to get leverage over the Joker in contract negotiations. It’d be as ridiculous as replacing Charlie Sheen with Ashton Kutcher…

  103. bbofun
    May 31st, 2012 at 12:00 pm [Reply]

    JP- There was no Peaches is the strip today. I hope this is not a harbinger of things to come. If we’re going to endure weeks of over-privileged white guys talking about fishing, I NEED MY PEACHES!

  104. Chareth Cutestory
    May 31st, 2012 at 12:01 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#80): Several “friends” used the spandex outfits on “Halloween,” eh?

  105. lynn
    May 31st, 2012 at 12:11 pm [Reply]

    Mr. Scudder has been outed as a nerd! Paging Batiuk!

  106. Sequitur
    May 31st, 2012 at 12:14 pm [Reply]

    Cuss Skunk just saw today’s Spider-Man

    We can’t get him to shut up.

  107. Rocky Stoneaxe
    May 31st, 2012 at 12:15 pm [Reply]

    The reason there aren’t any holes in Hardy’s bleached-out undershorts* — they’re in the PLOT of Stan Lee’s latest fantasy messterpiece.

    *Aw, did Clorox® kill all the widdle clown faces?

  108. Hogenmogen
    May 31st, 2012 at 12:20 pm [Reply]

    “Why must they keep showing this?”
    “Why must we keep watching this?”
    “It’s not MY fault that you lost the remote!”

    It is forbidden to touch controls on a television if there a remote control exists.*

    *Old jungle just-sayin’

  109. Rocky Stoneaxe
    May 31st, 2012 at 12:22 pm [Reply]

    @bbofun (#103): Peaches is currently getting “reacquainted” with Herb over in Herb & Jamaal.

  110. Nate
    May 31st, 2012 at 12:22 pm [Reply]

    Seems like maybe he found a great big comedy tie with a 9 on it and just sort of threw together a supervillan identity. Now, he’s desperately trying to talk himself into the name. “See? It works! It works! See? See?”

    The tie is to him what the vat of chemicals was to the Joker. See? See??

  111. Nehemiah Scudder
    May 31st, 2012 at 12:25 pm [Reply]

    @Chareth Cutestory (#104): It was a Halloween party. And, yes, they were gay. So were the hosts, and more than half the people attending. In a small southern town, the gays and the hippies party together.

    // It’s a tradition here, the social event of the season. Our hosts really do give fabulous parties. Mrs. Scudder went as a gypsy fortune teller; I was a wizard. Mrs. S. is a talented seamstress who studied theatrical costuming in college. We won first prize as a couple, which was really quite an honor considering the competition.

  112. Percival Dunwoody
    May 31st, 2012 at 12:28 pm [Reply]

    Why does Clown 9 have Daria’s boots as part of his supervillain costume? Is he really mordantly sarcastic, and only acting like a trite fool to make his secret “Hardy Laurel” identity harder to penetrate (similar to the way Superman acts meek as Clark Kent)? Is he just frustrated because he is surrounded by idiots?

    Spiderman and MJ or Kevin and Brittany? Which couple is stupider? Hard call, isn’t it?

  113. Sequitur
    May 31st, 2012 at 12:31 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#111): Wow! You beat out out Mr. & Mrs. Green? Way to go!

  114. Hogenmogen
    May 31st, 2012 at 12:33 pm [Reply]

    RMMD: Careful what you say, Maybel. The cops found a gum wrapper at the top of the stairs that Foster fell down.

    Laurel Hardy: Ha ha! I pushed ol’ man Foster down the stairs, too! Not my fault that he can’t walk and chew gum at the same time!

  115. G.O.M. Photheres
    May 31st, 2012 at 12:34 pm [Reply]

    Re to many people to link re: Clown-9: Marvel/Disney must have nixed Stan from using The Jester (a villain from Daredevil who was a struggling actor panned by critics who turns to a life of costumed crime instead), perhaps for fear that having Ben Affleck ruin the Daredevil franchise for an entire generation was one thing, but letting Stan have a go at it, even by way of one of DD’s b-listers, would risk ruining it forever.

  116. johnshade
    May 31st, 2012 at 12:36 pm [Reply]

    Since Slim is face to face with Clovia’s “kitty” when he says that, I’m wondering if “mouse meat” is Clovia’s cutesy but none-too-subtly demeaning pet name for Slim’s you-know-what.

  117. Marc
    May 31st, 2012 at 12:44 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#91): I think Amos is like Gob from Arrested Development. He likes to look at himself in the mirror during intercourse.

  118. Just Bob
    May 31st, 2012 at 12:49 pm [Reply]

    “Huh, now that I have the clown outfit on I feel more stupid than anything. This is unexpected. Really thought there would be a rush of adrenaline or something. Ordered the custom “9″ tie and everything. That cost me some money. Crap.”

  119. Rixtremism in the Defense of Libertines
    May 31st, 2012 at 12:51 pm [Reply]

    FW Ah! The look of sheer desperation on Summer’s face! She knows her only shot at getting out of Hellview is a sports scholarship somewhere – anywhere. And her soul-crushing old man is about to screw it up for her.

    MW We know where this is headed. Mary’s been idle and must be primed for her next unfortunate victim client. But hasn’t Mary meddled Dawn at least once before? Shouldn’t Mary’s meddling come with a warranty, like say, 5 years/5 breakups?

  120. Nehemiah Scudder
    May 31st, 2012 at 12:51 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#113): No alligators this year. It is kind of touching, though, how many people still fondly remember the Village People.

  121. Occipital Lobe
    May 31st, 2012 at 12:53 pm [Reply]

    @Marc (#117): In a wife-beater tee. Ugh.

  122. Nehemiah Scudder
    May 31st, 2012 at 1:09 pm [Reply]

    @Mark B. (#90): You are right about the font being strange. I read it as CLOWN-Q at first.

  123. Uncle Lumpy
    May 31st, 2012 at 1:11 pm [Reply]

    @Andrusi (#26):

    If you drop Clown-9 into an ordinary circus, will all the other clowns also become Clown-9?


  124. Sequitur
    May 31st, 2012 at 1:12 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#120): Better to remember them than to see them today.

  125. The Spectacular Spider-Brick
    May 31st, 2012 at 1:16 pm [Reply]

    S-M: Few comic readers know that CLOWN-9 was chosen after the rejection of several even lamer options:
    “When I put on this clown costume, I feel as brave as a lion! I’ll call myself LEO-9!”
    “I feel like doling out some harsh punishment! And poisoning someone! I’ll call myself STRICT-9!”
    “This costume makes me look like an ass! I’ll call myself ASI-9!”

    Hmm, that last one is actually more appropriate.

  126. G.O.M. Photheres
    May 31st, 2012 at 1:17 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#122): CLOWNQ! Is the sound effect he makes with Locher-era Dick Tracy trepans him with his own fist.

  127. G.O.M. Photheres
    May 31st, 2012 at 1:18 pm [Reply]

    “when” not “with”

  128. terrapin
    May 31st, 2012 at 1:21 pm [Reply]

    SM: Clown-9 is clearly the product of a poor soul growing up with the name “Hardy Laurel”. Seriously, Mr and Mrs Laurel! What were you thinking?

    MW: If Dawn spends the rest of her life sitting on the couch spouting lines of despair like some organic version of Marvin the Manically Depressed Robot, I could read this strip every day including Sunday!

  129. seismic-2
    May 31st, 2012 at 1:23 pm [Reply]

    CLOWN-Q. Wasn’t he the bloke who built those exploding cream pies and laser-firing lapel flowers for James Bond?

  130. Marthas Rolling Pin
    May 31st, 2012 at 1:25 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#122): You must have had Baka Gaijin on your mind. EEEEEEEE!!!

  131. Artist formerly known as Ben
    May 31st, 2012 at 1:26 pm [Reply]

    S-M: I’m confused. Is Hardy going to terrorize the city as Clown 9, or is he going to service wealthy men who have a secret and shameful clown fetish. Because his costume is making me think the latter.
    GA: So Lucky is reunited with the couple who love him with the expectation that he’s going to make them millionaires. Let’s just pretend this is a happy ending and move onto something more interesting.
    MW: The entertainment center might not look like much, but it’s an original Moy & Giella. Antiquers would sell their souls to get hold of it.

    WofI: Twitter didn’t exist in the Middle Ages, but paradoxically, I think this “joke” did.

    C-Shaft: Of course they don’t want to hear that nothing exploded or burnt to the ground. They’ve already swallowed the cyanide pills.

    9CL: This could get interesting, if Amos thinks that his reflection is a ring thief and attacks it.

    Archie: Moose took the telekinetic drawing class in the first semester.

    JP: What is Sam holding in that last panel? And why isn’t Peaches around to fondle it?

    RMMD: Seeing June in the background, I’m absolutely positive she couldn’t lean over the coffin to pay her last respects without a nip slip.

    HtH: “Hee hee. No, but seriously, your father is about to die from severe blood loss and internal organ hemorrhage. If there’s anything you’ve been meaning to tell him, say it now.”

    DT: While it’s kind of hard to tell with him, I don’t think Abner Kadaver is happy about taking the fall for a drooling numbnuts like Mumbles. Hey, he could be the next defector to Dick’s side.

    Blondie: I know that Dagwood is only going to compare notes with Emily on favorite sandwiches, but I’d still appreciate him taking his other hand out of his pants.

    6C: Oh jeez. I just know Fox News will use this cartoon to prove that socialists have their tear ducts in weird places.

    PBS: So I guess Pig breaking some lady’s neck must have happened off-panel.

    FC: “You mean you guys were listening to me? What on Earth for?”

    Luann: Oddly enough Knute’s Glee outfit makes him look like one of Alex’s droogies. Like the school should stop him in the morning to make sure his boots don’t have steel toes.

    S4th: Oh come now. She knows who her son-in-law is. Why make the Darth Vader jokes so easy?

    H&J: Um, why is Jamaal wearing a particularly useless novelty condom on his head?

    OBH: New Neighbor Lady had better make tracks before Avis starts talking about all the different fungi she’s had.

    A3G: “And once I find trouble, I need to make sure they spell my name right.”

  132. LP2004
    May 31st, 2012 at 1:30 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#129): Yes, and he also built the specially-equipped Aston Martin that Clown-007 (and about thirty other Clown-00 agents) drove around in.

  133. terrapin
    May 31st, 2012 at 1:35 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#131):Dammit! You’re forcing me to read Rex Morgan!

  134. G.O.M. Photheres
    May 31st, 2012 at 1:38 pm [Reply]

    @LP2004 (#132): How well I remember that Bond film.

  135. Jamoche
    May 31st, 2012 at 1:41 pm [Reply]

    (repost from yt. Curse you webcaches!)

    “When the lines on your screen
    Are not quite what they seem,
    that’s a moire”

    Dawn’s mainlining Game of Thrones and hasn’t yet realized that if you pine for your pretty blond prince you end up with Joffrey?

  136. Sequitur
    May 31st, 2012 at 1:41 pm [Reply]

    @LP2004 (#132): That’s all Baka Gaijin needs. Clowns running all over London with a license to kill.

  137. Noel Schornhorst
    May 31st, 2012 at 1:42 pm [Reply]

    Clown 9? Ugh… even Howard the Duck would end him in a panel.

    @Slim in Gasoline Alley: How much mouse meat would your mouth meet if your mouth would meet mouse meat?

  138. RavenHawk
    May 31st, 2012 at 1:43 pm [Reply]

    @Stroker Ace (#71): “Clown 9 should team-up with Client 9 Eliot Spitzer for shenanigans and cheating.”

    “It’s like a bad math problem (like there’s a good one?)….If Clown-9 is listening to Blink-182, with 12 Angry Men, will he be done in time, to watch the movie Seven, before the 3:15 To Yuma?

  139. La Cieca
    May 31st, 2012 at 1:44 pm [Reply]

    @Chareth Cutestory (#11): In the first panel, it’s obviously a Mondo Guerra “Dia de los Muertos” themed novelty tank top.

    In the second panel: perhaps an upside-down oven mitt with a pop-art “6″ screen-printed on it? Or a retro candy dish, half of the “Yin and Yang” set?

    All these make more sense than a supervillain wearing a necktie. If you think Edna Bird was harsh about capes, you don’t want to get her started on the subject of neckties.

  140. RavenHawk
    May 31st, 2012 at 1:58 pm [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#78): Nice (& hilarious) analogy, pugfuggly.

  141. Artist formerly known as Ben
    May 31st, 2012 at 2:01 pm [Reply]

    @G.O.M. Photheres (#100): Oh dear God! I’m not sure I could handle “Newspaper Spider-Man: MAX.”

  142. The Ridger
    May 31st, 2012 at 2:03 pm [Reply]

    @La Cieca (#139): Edna Mode was her name. That montage was hilarious.

  143. tallyHO
    May 31st, 2012 at 2:12 pm [Reply]

    Happy As A Kitty With A Mouth Full Of Mouse Meat

    Man, that brings back some memories of grade school music recitals.

    It almost seems like a song that teachers would make kids sing, and act out with goofy choreographed gestures. And, no one would be weirded out by the lyrics of such a song as long as there were kids singing it.


  144. Artist formerly known as Ben
    May 31st, 2012 at 2:16 pm [Reply]

    @terrapin (#133): Damn, Woody Wilson should be paying me a finder’s fee.

  145. LP2004
    May 31st, 2012 at 2:19 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#136): It’s really not that bad; their Walther PPKs only fire little flags with the word “BANG!” on them.

  146. This Guy
    May 31st, 2012 at 2:20 pm [Reply]

    Luann: Now, I understand that Glee has wider appeal than one might expect, but nobody actually in high school or later would watch High School Musical.

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#80): To dress as Thomas Pynchon, do you put a bag over your head, or do you just change nothing and rationalize that nobody’s sure what he looks like anyway?

  147. Nehemiah Scudder
    May 31st, 2012 at 2:21 pm [Reply]

    BG&SS: This is one of the things I dislike about dialect humor. How does the pronunciation “NOO YORK” differ from the pronunciation “NEW YORK”? I can’t tell, and I’ve lived and worked in that city. So, Rose is spelling the word funny just to indicate that Evinley is talking like a hick, even though she is pronouncing the word the same as everyone else.

    Of course Evinley does talk like a hick: It’s understood, and is perfectly well indicated by the use of the nonstandard “them” instead of “those”. Maybe “NOO” indicates that she is drawling the word out, stretching it a little compared to standard English, but it’s not needed to make the point.

    Fake dialect spelling like this, spelling that doesn’t indicate a real difference in sound, but just serves as a signal that the speaker is talking funny, isn’t funny, and just makes stuff hard to read. I’ll generally skip reading anything with dialect spelling, it isn’t worth the effort.

    That goes even for generally good strips, like Pastis’ Pearls Before Swine. I can’t make myself care what the alligators are saying if I have to translate it into standard English first. And why would alligators have a strange accent in the first place, and not goats and pigs and rats and ducks?

  148. Nehemiah Scudder
    May 31st, 2012 at 2:22 pm [Reply]

  149. Mr. O'Malley
    May 31st, 2012 at 2:25 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#147): NOO as opposed to NYOO

  150. Chareth Cutestory
    May 31st, 2012 at 2:30 pm [Reply]

    @La Cieca (#139): On the surface, no, it doesn’t make sense for a supervillain to wear a necktie. Considering that he’ll probably use it to sneak up behind and clobber Spider-Man unconscious with a necktie, well that makes total sense.

  151. Poteet
    May 31st, 2012 at 2:33 pm [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#Y103): Also a cinematic attempt to turn beautiful harmless moths into objects of fear, and an unintended scathing commentary on the inadequate regulation of exotic insect importation into this country.

  152. Nehemiah Scudder
    May 31st, 2012 at 2:36 pm [Reply]

    @This Guy (#146): but nobody actually in high school or later would watch High School Musical.

    I see your point, but as I understand it, HSM and its sequels were enormously popular among tweens, or junior high school students (they call them middle schools now?). And since the only difference between a high school student and a junior high school student is a couple/three years, and that those entertainments came out a few years back, then we can assume that everyone in high school, or maybe even college now has seen them. So, Knute and whats’ername might well be familiar with it.

  153. Markie
    May 31st, 2012 at 2:37 pm [Reply]

    Re: Spiderman & Clown 9: I can only think of Mistress 9 from Sailormoon. A truly wicked/awesome villaness for one whole season!

  154. Chareth Cutestory
    May 31st, 2012 at 2:37 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#148): But it’s nonetheless still a spandex Pynchon, correct?

  155. Nehemiah Scudder
    May 31st, 2012 at 2:39 pm [Reply]

    @Mr. O’Malley (#149): Yes, ok, “NYOO” is possible, but I don’t think it is as common as “NOO”. In any event, “NOO” is not hickier, if you’ll excuse the expression, than “NYOO”.

  156. Anonymous
    May 31st, 2012 at 2:40 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#147): The crocs have an accent because of the teef (sorry).

  157. Nehemiah Scudder
    May 31st, 2012 at 2:42 pm [Reply]

    @Chareth Cutestory (#154): No, I tried a spandex Pynchon, but it chafed, and, um, pynched.

    // I’m still annoyed that my Pynchon impersonation hasn’t won a prize yet. I’ve totally nailed it!

  158. pugfuggly
    May 31st, 2012 at 2:43 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#155):


    /spits out Salsa/

  159. Liam
    May 31st, 2012 at 2:43 pm [Reply]

    Spiderman-”I’m on cloud 9 so I shall call myself Clown-9. Hey it’s better than those pun based names they did for the pets in ‘For Better or For Worse’.”

    Archie-From what I can observe Betty is not wearing a bra.

  160. seismic-2
    May 31st, 2012 at 2:46 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#147): I don’t understand why they explicitly spelled Elviney’s pronunciation as “Noo York”. I suspect “Noo Yawk” is more nearly accurate.

  161. Nehemiah Scudder
    May 31st, 2012 at 2:48 pm [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#158): How can you sleep at night? ; )

  162. commodorejohn
    May 31st, 2012 at 2:50 pm [Reply]

    A3G – Every column and site? What, like in every paper and the entire Internet? I mean, granted, in A3G they’re probably still using Gopher and the list of every site in the world is a dozen pages long, but still, you might be overdoing it, Margo.

    A&J – What madness is this!? Gene, Mary Lou, you can’t just talk about your problems and reach agreements! Don’t you know you have to prance around never actually acknowledging that issues exist, repressing every opinion you have on every subject, so that it can all fester and become the seeds of giant relationship-crisis Drama? Jeez, it’s like you don’t understand how relationships work or something!

    A.D. – So the cast of B.C. have gone from being cave-dwellers to mound-builders? Hey, eventually they might work their way up to mud bricks!

    FW – Wait, what? Les is such an asshole that he just assumes that anyone calling him is a telemarketer? (Then again, I suppose there’s no conceivable reason why anyone else would ever want to talk to him, so I suppose it’s justified.) [*]

    Love Is… – …stunningly enough, presenting one of the few un-sexualized depictions of a traditional nurse’s uniform since…what, 1950? What next, is 9 Chickweed Lane going to start depicting women’s legs with realistic proportions and hair?

    Luann – I’d wish for Greg Evans to never ever attempt to draw any kind of styled clothing again, only I know that I’d wind up with some kind of monkey’s-paw deal where that means he just draws everybody naked and every Luann strip becomes “tee-hee, we’re naked, tee-hee-hee, snicker, snort, ha ha, nakey nakey! Hee hee hee!” and then I put a gun in my mouth.

    Mandrake – So what I’m getting here is that Luciphor is a wizard-school dropout? I guess that’s really about what I’ve been expecting since he showed up.

    MW – Oh man, could Mary Worth from here on out just consist of Dawn watching low fantasy and moping on the couch? She talks like the ALGJU3K trying to write Hot Topic shirts. It’s glorious.

    OBH – Somehow I have a feeling that Miss Avis has plenty of experience with fungal growths, and may in fact be one.

    Phantom – “Look, this is boring. Let’s see if we can’t get PBS outta Corpus Christi. Hey lady, you like Antiques Roadshow, right? …lady? Dammit, you un-gag her this time, Jorge.”

    SF – There is not a single word in this strip that is not awesome. [*]

    SM – I see that others have already drawn a “Clown 9″/Plan 9 parallel, but I’m afraid I’ll have to dispute it. Ed Wood was an auteur who honestly believed in his work, whose films are so terrible that they wrap around into being wonderful; Hardy Laurel’s just an asshole in a clown suit, and achieves no such unintentional transcendence. Feh.

  163. Baka Gaijin
    May 31st, 2012 at 2:52 pm [Reply]

    Now that Newspaper Spiderman has broached society’s boundaries of repulsive horror, where can it go next? Crankshaft in crotchless spandex, Fritzi Ritz in a nun’s wimple, and Miss Avis naked flopping around on a pile of decapitated kitten heads and rotted Montoni’s Pizza crusts having hot monkey donkey sex while Dagwood lusts after the bed of food and Nancy looks on in the same kind of revulsion I had when I saw today’s Comic Curmudgeon post.

  164. Nehemiah Scudder
    May 31st, 2012 at 2:56 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#160): People who want to write in dialect should just put everything in the International Phonetic Alphabet, or not do it at all.

    // Wouldn’t that be fun! Hard to render in HTML, though, in WordPress.

  165. Poteet
    May 31st, 2012 at 2:57 pm [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#104): I know there really are some wilderness locations reachable only by plane or boat, and it’s nice to know they exist. The thing is, a guy running a small-plane business wouldn’t make much money if his customers had to get to his business via boat. So yeah, driving must be an option. But of course we must always remember that Mark’s strongest motivation in this story is to postpone that fishing trip with Rusty as long as possible.

  166. Poteet
    May 31st, 2012 at 2:59 pm [Reply]

  167. Nehemiah Scudder
    May 31st, 2012 at 2:59 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#162): “SF – There is not a single word in this strip that is not awesome.”

    I feared for your sanity, Commodore, for a moment there. I thought you meant Slylock Fox.

  168. G.O.M. Photheres
    May 31st, 2012 at 2:59 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#163): Man! I sure hopes Bats:[ can photoshop all that!

  169. Dood
    May 31st, 2012 at 3:04 pm [Reply]

    Spider-Man: You have to admit, Hardy Laurel does have this deranged Jimmy Durante thing going in the second panel. Dink-a-dink-a-doo, indeed.

  170. Poteet
    May 31st, 2012 at 3:05 pm [Reply]

    S-M — Is Clown 9 actually talking to us, the readers, like he’s some bizarre demented ultra-low-budget version of RICHARD III? Is he going to keep talking to us? As if S-M wasn’t bad enough already.

  171. Rocky Stoneaxe
    May 31st, 2012 at 3:10 pm [Reply]

    @The Spectacular Spider-Brick (#125):

    Dear T.S. Spider-Brick:

    The term “Clown Asinine” is already the intellectual property of Rocky Stoneaxe and Stoneaxe Creations™. Therefore, I must ask you to cease and desist.


    Ulysses S. Driver, Attorney

  172. Shrug
    May 31st, 2012 at 3:14 pm [Reply]

    @Chareth Cutestory (#11):

    There was a superhero comic book story I read thirty or so years ago where we learned where the super villains got their costumes: from a speciality underworld super villain costume outfitter/creator. Unfortunately if I recall correctly it was a FLASH comic, which is DC to Spidey’s Marvel, so I don’t imagine the outfitter (even if still at large) would be willing to cross company lines. Demarcation, you know.

    Ah, here we go: Paul Gambi. As I remembered, a FLASH character:

    Even if it weren’t a DC/Marvel thing, I doubt if Gambi would stoop to turning out anything as hideous as the Clown 9 suit.

  173. Rocky Stoneaxe
    May 31st, 2012 at 3:20 pm [Reply]

  174. Shrug
    May 31st, 2012 at 3:21 pm [Reply]

    @Jon the Red (#32):

    Costume first, name/gimmick second. . . O.K. . . .

    I’m reminded of Benton Harbor’s decision to become a super hero. He went to the local theatrical costume shop and found they had only two costumes in his size: a giant bunny rabbit and a giant chicken. He tried on the first suit, went out to the street and hailed a passing vicious criminal thug to ask his opinion. Upon learning that the thug liked the bunny suit so much he wanted to kiss him, Harper opted for the alternative, thus starting the career of Chickenman.

    (“He’s everywhere, he’s everywhere!!”)

  175. The Ridger
    May 31st, 2012 at 3:24 pm [Reply]

    9CL The thing is, the ring is still in the box. So Amos is probably going to think that the very idea of marrying him scared her off. Lucky man.

  176. Steve the Pocket
    May 31st, 2012 at 3:26 pm [Reply]

    Crock: I just discovered that Comics Kingdom is still carrying this. Are there any papers out there that actually went into reruns on this?

    Funky Winkerbean: Wow. Les is such a douchenozzle that he assumes everyone who calls him is a telemarketer and starts ranting at them before they even get a chance to say who they are. In the Asshole Olympics, he may have just blown the entire cast of 9 Chickweed Lane out of the water in a single strip.

    Gasoline Alley: I don’t know what’s worse, the terrible figure of speech he uses, or the complete lack of context for it. A cat shows up, and then out of nowhere the guy turns around and declares that he’s as happy as a bad expression. At first I thought maybe he could understand what the cat is saying and is translating, but then I realized there would be quotation marks around it.

  177. Poteet
    May 31st, 2012 at 3:27 pm [Reply]

    GA — The happiness derived from mouse meat depends on the kitty. I am now keeping a twenty-year-old kitty going strong with the help of mice, which she loves. (They can be ordered frozen in quantity and thawed as needed.) But I have also had a few kitties that were indifferent to mouse meat. They would catch a live mouse if it ran in front of them, but they wouldn’t eat it.

    As for Lucky coming back to live with Clovia and (ugh) Slim, he is either not the sharpest knife in the drawer or he’s going to take another stab, so to speak, at killing Slim. I’m hoping for the latter.

  178. Nehemiah Scudder
    May 31st, 2012 at 3:27 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#171): Please ask Mr. Driver, Esq., if Clown Pavo-nine, or Clown Fescen-nine are taken.

    // I hope not. I’d hate to change a full Petrarchian sonnet back into a mere rondel.

  179. The Ridger
    May 31st, 2012 at 3:29 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#155): Whether it’s hicker or not, noo is less common than nyoo. (In fact, Russians spell it n’yu to make sure the palatalization is marked as strongly as possible, that’s how clear it is to them.)

    Thing is, Americans/Anglophones don’t really hear palatalization because it’s not phonemic. There are no minimal pairs in English between n/n’ or other such pairs. Some people palatalize a lot, some don’t. For some “do drop in to the dew drop in” has ‘dyoo’ both times, for some neither time, and for some only once.

  180. Calico
    May 31st, 2012 at 3:34 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#6):
    Jeffy is a Milgrim’s child.

    “We do what we’re told
    Told to do”

  181. The Ridger
    May 31st, 2012 at 3:35 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#164): What I hate is people who write in eye-dialect to show how dumb/hick the speaker is by using spellings that everyone pronounces like that, like “wuz”.

    Also, I hate Rose is Rose because when they do their little kids talking, they spell things exactly how everyone pronounces them making “The fun part was being rescued” into “The fuhn pahrt wuz beein reskyood”? I suppose it’s meant to be cute, but all it really does is make me wonder if her father says things like “wass that foon?” and “ill joost craool likuh yo.”

  182. Calico
    May 31st, 2012 at 3:36 pm [Reply]

    @Crankenstank (#23):
    He could audition for a Village People revival, y’know.

  183. Shrug
    May 31st, 2012 at 3:36 pm [Reply]

    @Marc (#117):

    “I think Amos is like Gob from Arrested Development. He likes to look at himself in the mirror during intercourse.”

    Or as THE DEMON BURBER OF CHICKWEED STREET might say, “Undo more zippers, mule!”

  184. Calico
    May 31st, 2012 at 3:37 pm [Reply]

  185. Deb T
    May 31st, 2012 at 3:39 pm [Reply]

    @Weaselboy (#12):

    I think you are correct!

  186. Hogenmogen
    May 31st, 2012 at 3:39 pm [Reply]

    SM: They wouldn’t let me ad-lib in the theatre. They’re so strict. Hey, that should be my name… StrictNine!

    When I put on this costume, I feel like a funny, entertaining man. Hey, that should be my name… FEMiNine!

    When I put on this costume, I feel like a total ass. Hey, that should be my name… AssNine!

  187. Little Guy
    May 31st, 2012 at 3:39 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#59): What would be a great twist is if this *was* Baka Gaijin‘s alternate personality.

  188. The Ridger
    May 31st, 2012 at 3:40 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#147): The crocs have an accent because they’re stupid, or possibly immigrants. You can tell this because the women and children don’t talk like that.

  189. Shrug
    May 31st, 2012 at 3:41 pm [Reply]

    @The Spectacular Spider-Brick (#125):

    Perhaps the costume shop where he ordered the outfit misunderstood — he was going for a “no more Mr. Nice Funny Guy, I’m going to be a Nazi villain type now” look, and the concept he told the shop to work with was “Clown, NEIN!”

  190. Poteet
    May 31st, 2012 at 3:41 pm [Reply]

    S-M — If I were stuck watching that wretched play, I’d be praying for something or other to end it, even a deranged ranting idiot wearing the worst clown costume ever. That headpiece looks like a rubber tool I got for removing cat hair.

  191. Nehemiah Scudder
    May 31st, 2012 at 3:41 pm [Reply]

    @The Ridger (#179): “noo is less common than nyoo”

    Are you sure of that? In American English? My Merriam Webster 11th Collegiate gives ‘nü first, then ‘nyü as chiefly Brit.

  192. Sequitur
    May 31st, 2012 at 3:42 pm [Reply]

    @Little Guy (#187): Kind of a “Jekyll and Hyde” situation. Hmmm.

  193. The Ridger
    May 31st, 2012 at 3:42 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#177): I have been told by vets that cats need to be taught by their parents that mice, etc, are for eating, not just for playing with. Don’t know how true that is.

  194. The Ridger
    May 31st, 2012 at 3:43 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#191): Nope, not sure, just going by what I hear. It probably depends a lot on where you live.

  195. Hogenmogen
    May 31st, 2012 at 3:43 pm [Reply]

    Gasoline Alley: Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy once used the expression
    “I trust you as far as I could comfortably spit out a rat.”

  196. Shrug
    May 31st, 2012 at 3:46 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#152):

    HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL works because the kids would have watched it three or four years ago when they in middle school? Well, maybe, but since all of the kids in LUANN’s high school have apparently been in stasis there for decades, why not just go with THE MICKEY MOUSE CLUB?

  197. a Curmudgeon from Moscow
    May 31st, 2012 at 3:46 pm [Reply]

    @The Ridger (#179): Thanks a lot for the post! I was just trying to find a sufficiently polite way to ask how could Noo and Nyoo ever sound the same, but I guess native English speakers really do hear it differently. I get the idea since I often mishear, for example, Hungarian vowels, as they seem to form some kind of an alternative vowel scale, but still, NooYork! Then again, if I said it with a good, heavy Russian accent, the difference would be obvious to everyone. I think. Or not. Phonetics is mysterious.

  198. Calico
    May 31st, 2012 at 3:48 pm [Reply]

    @Irrischano (#34):
    Hahaha, at first I thought he was calling himself “Clown Q”, perhaps as homage to the Evil Q on Star Trek?
    His head spikes remind of the Queen’s “crown” in the upcoming Snow White movie. Hide under your beds, kids.

  199. Nehemiah Scudder
    May 31st, 2012 at 3:49 pm [Reply]

    @The Ridger (#181):

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#164): What I hate is people who write in eye-dialect to show how dumb/hick the speaker is by using spellings that everyone pronounces like that, like “wuz”.

    Also, I hate Rose is Rose because when they do their little kids talking, they spell things exactly how everyone pronounces them making “The fun part was being rescued” into “The fuhn pahrt wuz beein reskyood”? I suppose it’s meant to be cute, but all it really does is make me wonder if her father says things like “wass that foon?” and “ill joost craool likuh yo.”

    Should you ever run for any office, as a member of any or no party, in any jurisdiction in which I have the franchise, you may count on my vote. Several times, if possible.

    // Rose drives me nuts because of that!

  200. Shrug
    May 31st, 2012 at 3:49 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#163):

    “Now that Newspaper Spiderman has broached society’s boundaries of repulsive horror, where can it go next? Crankshaft in crotchless spandex, Fritzi Ritz in a nun’s wimple, and Miss Avis naked flopping around on a pile of decapitated kitten heads and rotted Montoni’s Pizza crusts having hot monkey donkey sex while Dagwood lusts after the bed of food and Nancy looks on in the same kind of revulsion I had when I saw today’s Comic Curmudgeon post.”

    That would make a GOOD story!!

  201. Rocky Stoneaxe
    May 31st, 2012 at 3:50 pm [Reply]

    Too bad Clod Nine doesn’t have the body to pull it off — he could’ve fashioned himself a drop dead gorgeous K-9 costume:

    (There’s also “Seven of Nine” from Star Trek: Voyager, but Hardy doesn’t have the body for that costume either!)

  202. Calico
    May 31st, 2012 at 3:51 pm [Reply]

    @Laura (#28):
    I love the Lucky Japanese cat.
    Actually, I’ve sort of trained my cat that looks like Lucky to come to me with an “Overhand” scooping motion like the Maneki-neko. >^^<

  203. Calico
    May 31st, 2012 at 3:56 pm [Reply]

    @Rob (#13):
    Shame. Rip Mr. Unger.

  204. commodorejohn
    May 31st, 2012 at 4:00 pm [Reply]

    @The Ridger (#179), @a Curmudgeon from Moscow (#197): Is “Nyoo” how Lisa Douglas pronounces it? (“Nyoo Yoahk is where I’d rahtha stay!”) I can hear that, but I’ve never heard anybody in the US pronounce it that way in normal conversation.

  205. seismic-2
    May 31st, 2012 at 4:00 pm [Reply]

    When Hardy Laurel sets out to perform some act of villainy while wearing his Clown 9 costume, I hope Peter Parker tries to do battle with him while wearing the Angel costume that he wore when he was in Miami. Bow, the copies of the Bugle with the photos of that epic confrontation will be flying off the newsstands, at least in Greenwich Village!

  206. Nehemiah Scudder
    May 31st, 2012 at 4:01 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#190): “That headpiece looks like a rubber tool I got for removing cat hair.”

    I hear there’s more than one way to do that.

    // Oh, not the skin as well? So how do you get the fur to hold together?

    // No serious, I’ve got one like that too. Made out of a mushy plastic. Works great, and on the dog, too.

  207. G.O.M. Photheres
    May 31st, 2012 at 4:04 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#205): I’m rather fond of his utterly unimaginative but somehow subtly confusing Justice Guy outfit from when he was sulking the streets of L.A. during MJ’s film shoot.

  208. Nehemiah Scudder
    May 31st, 2012 at 4:04 pm [Reply]

    @The Ridger (#193): To an extent, true. But if a cat is hungry enough, it’ll figure it out on its own.

  209. Nehemiah Scudder
    May 31st, 2012 at 4:06 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug (#196): …why not just go with THE MICKEY MOUSE CLUB?

    Why not, indeed? It would be funnier.

  210. Liam
    May 31st, 2012 at 4:14 pm [Reply]

    FW-”I don’t buy anything unless you offering to sell me some underage high school girls.”

    Crankshaft-”It’s a trick. Quick grab the shotgun.”

  211. Sequitur
    May 31st, 2012 at 4:26 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#205): If things work out correctly Spider-Man will dress as Baka Gaijin.

    Sorry Baka. We’re inadvertently drawing you into the plot line of Spider-Man. That can’t be very pleasant.

  212. a Curmudgeon from Moscow
    May 31st, 2012 at 4:26 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#204): OK, it took me some time to google it and find a suitable YouTube clip. She says it in a less pronounced way – actually, to a Russian ear this is a very soft and sweet way of pronouncing the ‘ we hear in N’yu (the accent is Hungarian, of course, and it’s not really similar to any Slavic one), almost too soft to copy it (just tried and failed, I think). We have a special letter for that ‘ sound, after all. We take it seriously.

  213. lynn
    May 31st, 2012 at 4:29 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#190): “..a rubber tool I got for removing cat hair.” Oh, is that what the kids are calling it today?

  214. Mr. O'Malley
    May 31st, 2012 at 4:33 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#155): It’s a phenomenon called yod-dropping, which is regional both in the UK and the US.

    I wasn’t able to find a dialect map (all the Harvard dialect maps have gone offline!), but it’s generally associated with the Upper Midwest dialect region, which is sometimes called General American. It is definitely not typical in the South. (There was a joke at UNC about Duke changing its name to Dook because there were so many Yankees there.)

  215. a Curmudgeon from Moscow
    May 31st, 2012 at 4:40 pm [Reply]

    @Mr. O’Malley (#214): A-ha! Thank you so much for the first link. So, even if you drop j from news, it still doesn’t rhyme with booze, right? Because when you spell something like NooYork, I interpret it like oo in food or moose, and not like, say, u in ruse, which is closer to the German u with an umlaut. I can imagine New York with the latter, but not the former.
    Ugh. That’s why those “approximate pronounciations” in textbooks will never work.

  216. lynn
    May 31st, 2012 at 4:41 pm [Reply]

    Dialects, interesting. I have lived within 25 miles of the city of Philadelphia almost all my life so I drink “wooder”. It seems very strange to say “wahhhhter”. I once had a visitor from the American mid-west ask me to spell out a co-worker’s name. “Is it A-m-o-r-y?” she asked. No, I said. It’s A-n-n-e-m-a-r-i-e. I never realized that you could pronounce Anne Marie differently than Amory.

  217. Chareth Cutestory
    May 31st, 2012 at 4:49 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug (#172): Excellently researched! I remembered there being a number of episodes of the always-hilarious Tom vs the Flash podcast that discussed this guy. You helped job my memory!

  218. Rocky Stoneaxe
    May 31st, 2012 at 4:52 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#178): Word to the wise: stay away from rondels. Even the “mere” ones. Because rondels (“mere” and otherwise) are the intellectual property of Tampa Bay Buccaneers cornerback/safety Rondé Barber.

  219. seismic-2
    May 31st, 2012 at 4:53 pm [Reply]

    @Mr. O’Malley (#214): There are parts of the country where the names “Stuart” and “Stewart” are pronounced differently. I believe New Englanders pronounce the former, at least (and perhaps both?), as “Stooh – art”. Southerners pronounce both names identically as “Styoo – art”, regardless of the spelling difference. This may be an example of where the Russian “soft sound” character would be useful in English (although it would no doubt be ignored).

  220. tallyHO
    May 31st, 2012 at 4:54 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#173):

    Yeaaah. But, Dinky Dinky Doo is funnier. I put it in the category of Cary Grant’s “Judy Judy Judy!”

    (20 minutes later….)
    NOO york….
    It does emphasize the not-so-special attitude that she seems to be relaying. It makes one wonder what about Old York makes hillfolk wistful.

    Sooooo, my list of possible names for Spiderman’s latest foe is probably looking pretty good right now, huh? @tallyHO (#14)

    I think the bigger pun which people seem to be not realizing is that when the action starts (yeah, I know) that is when he will start Clown-Nine-Around!

    Which reminds me of something Andy Richter said on Conan O’Brien’s show years ago: It went something like:
    Part of why Ernest Borgnine is cool because his name makes him sounds like a Star Trek villain.

    I apologize ahead of time if this is offensive to anyone but I have to ask:
    @Ulysses Pornstache III (#85):

    Sir, are you truly the Ulysses S. Pornstache III, the whore hero?

  221. G.O.M. Photheres
    May 31st, 2012 at 4:54 pm [Reply]

    @lynn (#216): Where I live, it’d be “Amurry.”

  222. Sequitur
    May 31st, 2012 at 4:59 pm [Reply]

    @lynn (#216): And in Canada it would be Anne Murray.

  223. Nehemiah Scudder
    May 31st, 2012 at 5:04 pm [Reply]

    @Mr. O’Malley (#214): I’ve been riffling through my collection of dictionaries. My oldest dictionary, a reprint of Noah Webster’s (1828), has just the “noo”. This is the sole pronunciation in all the Webster Unabridgeds up to the notorious New Third (1961), which is the first to give “nyoo” as an alternative. Worcester’s School Dictionary (1883) has only “noo”, as does the Century Dictionary & Cyclopedia (1899), as well as Funk & Wagnalls New Standard (1934).

    As near as I can tell, based on my collection, “nyoo” only got on the radar of American lexicographers about mid-twentieth century, but has been there ever since.

    My only British dictionary is the microprint edition of the OED (1933) which only gives the “nyoo” pronunciation.

    I think that based on this admittedly q&d research, “nyoo” is solidly British, “noo” is historically American and is probably still more common, but “nyoo” has been gaining ground in America since WWII.

  224. Peter Hillock
    May 31st, 2012 at 5:05 pm [Reply]

    @Hogenmogen (#45)“As __ as ___” is a similie. A metaphor is if dimwit Slim said that he actually had a mouth full of mouse meat (which is also alliteration).:
    Well, okay, but a simile is a type of metaphor, so it’s not really a mistake, the way that spending my time thinking about Gasoline Alley is.

  225. Sequitur
    May 31st, 2012 at 5:05 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#223): And what does your Latin dictionary have?

  226. geekwhisperer
    May 31st, 2012 at 5:08 pm [Reply]

    SM- I am glad that he dressed up as a clown rather than a cloud though. A freaky clown can at least creep people out. Whereas a super-villan dressed as a cloud wouldn’t be threatening at all and might be all poofy and stuff, which would hinder his ability to do mischief.

  227. commodorejohn
    May 31st, 2012 at 5:11 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#204): And now I’ve gone and given myself an earworm. That’s okay, I wasn’t planning to use my brain for the rest of the week…

    (da-dun da-dun-dun, fresh air!)

  228. Nehemiah Scudder
    May 31st, 2012 at 5:16 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#225): That’s a right can of worms there, too! Classical, ecclesiastical, or law? The “v” in novus is pronounced like a “w” in classical, but like a “v” in law and church Latin,

  229. flatsixes
    May 31st, 2012 at 5:18 pm [Reply]

    MT: “What’s on your mind , mister. Why have you come out here?”
    Uh oh. I could be wrong (given Jack Elrod’s wacky lack of perspective), but Mike Harris, local bush pilot, looks like a mighty fit fellow. In fact, he looks as though he could probably kick Trail’s butt back to Lost Forest in only two bounces. I’m hoping that Trail is thinking over his response to Harris’ question very very carefully. “Why did I come out here? That’s a really great question. No, seriously. Really. Great. Question. And I’ll be happy you tell you, Mike Harris. But first, can I bum a smoke?”

  230. Gladly, the cross-eyed bear
    May 31st, 2012 at 5:20 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#152): Yes, our community theater put on (the atrocious) HSM because of demands from the teens.

  231. kkarenb
    May 31st, 2012 at 5:24 pm [Reply]

    @lynn (#216): A friend of mine from the Philadelphia area used to laugh every time I said the word water. “It’s wooder!”

    FW – In all of his research, has Batiuk never run across a reference to Caller ID? Surely a teacher would have caller ID to screen his calls and be able to identify callers he might want to report to the police.

    Garfield – Sorry, but Warner Brothers Cartoons did the “quitting time” dog gag much, much better.

    JP – Wouldn’t it be more in character for this strip for Sam to BUY a new car when they landed, instead of renting one?

    JP – The fashion horror continues. Today Tommie is dressed like a schoolmarm.

    RIP Jim Unger.

  232. LanceThruster
    May 31st, 2012 at 5:24 pm [Reply]

    I like how Clown-9 is yabbering like a mental patient as if there was some omnipresent audience…and yet…we *are* there. Maybe he’s not so crazy after all!

  233. Illustrator Steve
    May 31st, 2012 at 5:25 pm [Reply]

    MT – You never learn…DO you, Mark? Tomorrow we may see Mark left somewhere along the river tied to a tree stump!

  234. Shrug
    May 31st, 2012 at 5:28 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#223):

    “I’ve been riffling through my collection of dictionaries.”

    If you want to riff through some more (mostly old ones) online–


    among other places.

  235. Shrug
    May 31st, 2012 at 5:30 pm [Reply]

    @kkarenb (#231):

    “JP – Wouldn’t it be more in character for this strip for Sam to BUY a new car when they landed, instead of renting one?”

    Come to think of it, why are they travelling to the trout stream at all? Can’t Sam just buy the stream and have it moved to his place?

  236. Alter Ego
    May 31st, 2012 at 5:31 pm [Reply]

    A mouthful of mouse meat? Well, it made Minnie Mouse pretty happy. At least, that’s how Mickey tells it.

  237. Der Schnärkïnätör
    May 31st, 2012 at 5:36 pm [Reply]

    @Dood (#96):
    I am not a number! I am a free clown!

    Be seeing you…..

  238. Nehemiah Scudder
    May 31st, 2012 at 5:36 pm [Reply]

    @Gladly, the cross-eyed bear (#230): @Nehemiah Scudder (#152): Yes, our community theater put on (the atrocious) HSM because of demands from the teens.

    Now, now. In a hundred years, it will seem as charming as Charlie’s Aunt does today.

    // No. I don’t really believe that.

  239. Nehemiah Scudder
    May 31st, 2012 at 5:38 pm [Reply]

    @Der Schnärkïnätör (#237): Watch out for the giant yoga balls down at the beach.

  240. Richard Riis
    May 31st, 2012 at 5:38 pm [Reply]

    Having already picked up a giant “9″ tie at the Clown Supply Shop, the alter-ego moniker was a no-brainer. If they hadn’t had his size, though, we might have had to settle for “that evil villain, Clown 8 1/2″.

  241. Nehemiah Scudder
    May 31st, 2012 at 5:45 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug (#234): Thanks, that’s a good reference.

    // Though, fact is, I’ve been collecting a long time, and have a lot of that stuff in dead tree format. Reminds me, I need to build some more bookcases.

  242. Johann Sebastian Cock
    May 31st, 2012 at 5:51 pm [Reply]

    Nothing to say other than that that Spiderman strip, in text and image, is probably the funniest thing that’s ever been printed on a comic page in my lifetime. I’m going to get fired if I can’t stop myself from laughing at it.

  243. bats :[
    May 31st, 2012 at 5:56 pm [Reply]

  244. The Ridger
    May 31st, 2012 at 5:58 pm [Reply]

    @a Curmudgeon from Moscow (#197): Omigosh. When I was learning Russian, getting palatalization right was the hardest thing for everyone in the class. We had a teacher – little old lady from Central Asia – who used to walk around and make everyone say ??????? (uchitel’, teacher) and if you didn’t get the soft L right she’d whack your desk with the textbook. Even if you knew it was coming it made you jump. One guy suddenly got it “right” – except we could tell he was just saying “uchite” with no L at all, hard or soft. He’d figured out she was listening for the hard L, so he didn’t say it. Damn him.

  245. The Ridger
    May 31st, 2012 at 5:59 pm [Reply]

    @The Ridger (#244): Oh, look. The Cyrillic went away. Even though it’s there in Preview. ???! Alas!

  246. bats :[
    May 31st, 2012 at 5:59 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#228): (trying to figure out where “Stwike him, Centuwion!” fits into all of this…)

  247. cheech wizard
    May 31st, 2012 at 6:01 pm [Reply]

    GT – Where’d he get a job?”


    “You sure are, getting knocked up in 10th grade like that. But where’d the kid’s dad get a job?”

  248. tallyHO
    May 31st, 2012 at 6:07 pm [Reply]

    @geekwhisperer (#226):

    Actually, doesn’t it depend on what kind of cloud he would be?

    Think about it: if he were a cloud, he could appear to many different people to look like many different things:
    Aw, it is a puppy!
    Huh, it is a couch.
    Nope, it is Dawn Justa Slackin’!

    Plus, if he were a cloud with superpowers or a weather making machine he could rain on the play. Which would cause a rain out. That would probably be a historic first for an indoor play. If he were a cloud. But, alas and a loonatic, he’s a clown.

    So, whatever his clown-enhanced abilities are–if he even has any–he’s totally wasting his time. He could be robbing banks or knocking over circuses. Come to think of it, there’s probably seltzer stores and comedy stores he could try looting.
    Shoe stores. The list goes on. I guess.

    My THEORY:
    Jebidiah Brand, the Movie Star, is actually a super-hero himself. It is just under the radar of the spider sense (which could be the result of some sort of gaydar interference. who knows)
    General Brand will then kick Clown-Y’s patoot. Saving the day. AND, saving the play!

  249. Mr. O'Malley
    May 31st, 2012 at 6:13 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#223): I think that shows a solid determination on the part of the compilers of dictionaries to ignore regional variations. H. L. Mencken says that since Webster was violently opposed to “nyew” (and even “nature” rather than “natur”), his prestige caused American lexicographers to follow his lead for a considerable time. (Although, he adds, Americans retain a y-sound in figure, whereas the English drop it.)

    Mencken also mentions a peculiarity of sub-Potomac speech “the intrusion of a y-sound before a after g or k, as in gyarden and cyar.” He says this “was formerly common in New England”; I know a Bostonian who inserts a yod into words like “coupon”, so it is still in use.

    @seismic-2 (#219): It’s also sometimes called the chews-choose merger, but I found less information under that name.

  250. gnbman
    May 31st, 2012 at 6:26 pm [Reply]

    Finally, a villain newspaper Spider-Man can hope to stand a chance against! I don’t know about you guys, but I see Clown-9 as the big baddie in “The Amazing Spider-Man 2″!

  251. Poteet
    May 31st, 2012 at 6:26 pm [Reply]

    @The Ridger (#193): It’s odd to have the twenty-year-old cat begging for mice and eating them with relish, while two other cats look at the mice and walk away, clearly saying “you’ve got to be kidding.” The parenting theory is interesting.

  252. Nehemiah Scudder
    May 31st, 2012 at 6:42 pm [Reply]

    @Mr. O’Malley (#249): Hah! You see my Webster, and raise me a Mencken!

    Hmm. Nope. I got nothing. Fold.

    Mencken, as usual, makes a good point. Noah Webster was a prescriptivist of the most dogmatic sort.

    // I’m just glad we’ve got the discussion back to something interesting for a change. Seems like every time we start a good thread about linguistics, or slide rules, or sentence diagramming, some lackwit or other wants to hijack it and talk about the latest Sumo basho*, or comic strips, or something equally nugatory!

    * How about that Kyokutenho? 37 and the big Mongol’s going strong!

  253. seismic-2
    May 31st, 2012 at 6:45 pm [Reply]

    @Mr. O’Malley (#249): In the South, “chews” and “choose” are pronounced exactly the same. “Jews” and “juice” are pronounced the same, except for the sound of the final letter (“Z” or “S”).

    Northerners find it entertaining to ask a southerner to explain the difference in the pronunciation of “all” and “oil”, but that’s a whole other issue altogether.

  254. This Guy
    May 31st, 2012 at 6:55 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#253): And of course, there’s that most useful of household items, “tollet paper.” Kim Basinger (Georgia native) once said that on The Simpsons.

  255. Nehemiah Scudder
    May 31st, 2012 at 7:05 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#251): Your cat likes to eat mice with relish?

    // Me, I’d go with a nice sharp horseradish sauce.

  256. Mr. O'Malley
    May 31st, 2012 at 7:16 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#255): I wonder if Farley Mowat (Never Cry Wolf) has any good recipes?

  257. Sequitur
    May 31st, 2012 at 7:18 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#255): Silly Nehemiah Scudder. You can’t eat mice with horseradish. Horseradish is for horse. Mole sauce goes with mice.

  258. geekwhisperer
    May 31st, 2012 at 7:19 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#248): Cloud-9 evil villain catchphrase: “Time to rain on Spider Man’s parade! Mwu hahahaaha! *thunder clap*”

  259. Poteet
    May 31st, 2012 at 7:25 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#255): @Mr. O’Malley (#256): @Sequitur (#257): Note to self — gusto. Next time, say “with gusto”.

  260. True Fable
    May 31st, 2012 at 7:26 pm [Reply]

    Marvel has finally reached the lowest level of comics hell. “We’ve officially run out of ideas, so the newspaper Spiderman will just have to make do with a patchwork of lame ideas and snippets of half-baked plot possibilities by the Bullpen, glued together with the reader’s intense desire to see Spiderman really earn the ridicule he deserves.” In other words, Tuesdays.

  261. KreatureFeatures
    May 31st, 2012 at 7:29 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#123):
    I’m pleased that someone else got the reference to Vonnegut’s Ice-Nine.
    I am also gratified that Canton brought up the mighty Flaming Carrot.
    I thought I was the only one who read this comic in the 1980′s. Ut!

  262. tallyHO
    May 31st, 2012 at 7:45 pm [Reply]

    @KreatureFeatures (#261):

    Ice-nine? Of course!! At first I felt asinine for not understanding that line.

  263. UncleJeff
    May 31st, 2012 at 7:50 pm [Reply]

    Garfield: Yeah, I know Warner Bros. did it better but I still chuckled.
    It reminded me of a time in college when one of our student/activists (he was 35 at the time) announced he was going on a hunger strike to protest something the university administration did.
    A week later, a friend of mine saw him in a local pizzeria.
    He asked “Hey, aren’t you still on your hunger strike?”
    The activist replied: “Yeah. But I’m ‘off-duty’ tonight.”

  264. odinthor
    May 31st, 2012 at 8:03 pm [Reply]

    In re: New York.

    Am I the only one whose pronunciation of the abovementioned city’s name varies between “N’york” (when unemphasized) and “Neeeew [as in "Eeeew! Gastropods having disgusting slimy sex on my front lawn where all the neighbors can see and not inviting me to join in !"] York” (when emphasized). Yes? Sigh. OK.

  265. commodorejohn
    May 31st, 2012 at 8:10 pm [Reply]

    @odinthor (#264): I’d take gastropod sex over many different possible comics couplings any day. For your consideration: Wilbur + absolutely anybody, Chinbeard + absolutely anybody, or the intersection of the two, AUGH DON’T THINK ABOUT I AUGH DON’T THINK ABOUT IT.

  266. seismic-2
    May 31st, 2012 at 8:15 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#223):

    I think that based on this admittedly q&d research, “nyoo” is solidly British, “noo” is historically American and is probably still more common, but “nyoo” has been gaining ground in America since WWII.

    However, “nyoo” is the historical standard in the South, and “noo” is becoming more nearly commonplace among younger speakers there. This same source says that younger speakers in the South no longer preserve the distinct difference in “Mary” / “marry” / “merry” that was strongly characteristic of Southern speech when I was growing up. (Of course, that was practically in the Jefferson Davis administration, so some changes should be expected.)

  267. Nehemiah Scudder
    May 31st, 2012 at 8:22 pm [Reply]

    @Canton (#16): I see you got to the Flaming Carrot before I did. Snarpologies.

    // Have you read them? Looks like fun.

  268. tallyHO
    May 31st, 2012 at 8:38 pm [Reply]

    About Gasoline Alley
    Has anyone mentioned that “Slim”, as the chubby feller is called, is exclaiming how happy he is while talking to the woman’s crotch?

    We can only hope he is still blowing his lines.
    So, I hope Clown-9 gets fired. Ax that hacky, wacky jackanapes!
    Replace him with a foe worthy of second bananas! Someone with style, panache! A flair for pancakery, even! Someone who can flap Spiderman with a slappy snap!

    Someone with the blessing of the gods!

    Bring on the Ghost of Bill Hicks to kick Spiderman’s Ass!

  269. Dennis
    May 31st, 2012 at 8:48 pm [Reply]

    On Cloud Nine? Does anybody actually say that anymore? I think I’d have to dig up a corpse to find anybody who even says it ironically.

  270. Dale
    May 31st, 2012 at 8:48 pm [Reply]

    @RavenHawk (#138):

    There are good math problems and bad ones. This one’s a trick.
    If the clown counts on 3:15, he’ll be 5 minutes late.

  271. Austria
    May 31st, 2012 at 8:51 pm [Reply]

    BGSS: Is there a punchline here? Cause if there is one, I can’t find it.

    FC: I think Mr. Keane is acknowledging us.

    H&L: Second panel. Lois’s hand. Clearly she’s an alien. Suddenly everything makes sense.

    Luann: See, I tried watching Glee once and couldn’t even last 15 minutes, so as far as I’m concerned, this is a completely accurate representation.

    MG&G: Oh, look, a Twitter joke! What an original concept that’s totally relevant for the kids of today! Hey, you know what ELSE is relevant for the kids of today? Flipping tables! Speaking of which, I think I’m going to go do that. Right now.

    PBS: Rat should probably stay far away from Pig’s pockets.

    S-M: …..Soooo…it’s the Joker? Bad Spider-Man, bad! Stick to your own universe!

    WoI: For once, a Twitter joke I don’t hate. (But I still don’t understand why cartoonists insist on adding a “t” whenever they use an “8.” The T sound is already provided! It’s unnecessary! It’s like saying “hatet!”)

  272. Écureuil Écumant
    May 31st, 2012 at 8:58 pm [Reply]

    @lynn (#216): Lots of people in Chicago say “worter”. Nobody I know who lives there actually drinks it, though.

  273. Rocky Stoneaxe
    May 31st, 2012 at 9:00 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#255), @seismic-2 (#266): But how do New Yorkers (at least pretend New Yorkers) pronounce “Worcestershire Sauce”?

    Howzat for tying two separate threads together?

  274. Nehemiah Scudder
    May 31st, 2012 at 9:09 pm [Reply]

    @kkarenb (#231): FW – In all of his research, has Batiuk never run across a reference to Caller ID? Surely a teacher would have caller ID to screen his calls…

    To be fair, if the person calling you is not on your call list, the best you can get from caller ID is the number of the person calling you. It could be the Pulitzer Prize committee telling you that you’ve won for your book, Cancer: A Love Story, or it could be someone wanting to sell you a garage door in Ankara, Turkey, or it could be an out-of-state girls basketball coach wanting to offer your child a full scholarship with cherries and whipped cream.

    Since Uncle Lumpy has cut off the Ankara garage door merchants’ natural market here at CC, Les has probably been getting a lot of those calls.

  275. Nehemiah Scudder
    May 31st, 2012 at 9:13 pm [Reply]

    @Austria (#271): “BGSS: Is there a punchline here? Cause if there is one, I can’t find it.”

    What do you want with a punchline? This is a seed for about thirty utterly refulgent comments on linguistic science! BG&SS should always be so good.

  276. cheech wizard
    May 31st, 2012 at 9:16 pm [Reply]

    Why is it that all the criminals in Spiderman’s city feel compelled to assemble some outrageous costume to wear while committing their devilment? The cops must get a lot of complaints about profiling from the mothers of trick-or-treaters.

  277. kkarenb
    May 31st, 2012 at 9:18 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#274): Those calls show up on my Caller ID as “Unavailable” or “Out of Area.” I don’t answer if it’s a number I don’t recognize; the caller can leave a message on the answering machine, and I’ll pick up if it’s someone I want to talk to. It seems that if Les followed this system, the caller could have identified herself on the answering machine, Summer could have picked up the phone, and no one would have been insulted.

    I got Caller ID after a telemarketer I was rude to called me back to curse me out.

  278. Nehemiah Scudder
    May 31st, 2012 at 9:23 pm [Reply]

    @kkarenb (#277): I heard that if the Pulitzer committee gets an answering machine, they just hang up and go on to the next book on the list.

    // Nobel works the same way.

  279. Rocky Stoneaxe
    May 31st, 2012 at 9:25 pm [Reply]

    @kkarenb (#277): I certainly hope you called the telemarketer’s company to report what he or she did.

  280. Calico
    May 31st, 2012 at 9:27 pm [Reply]

    @Der Schnärkïnätör (#237):
    I’m not a number
    Dammit, I’m a Clown
    I said I’m a Clown

  281. tallyHO
    May 31st, 2012 at 9:28 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#275): I agree and I will deviate slightly by elaborating on the craftsmanship displayed in this episode of Snuffy Smif, nee Barney Google, nee Barney Google and Snuffy Smith*:
    @Austria (#271):
    “BGSS: Is there a punchline here? Cause if there is one, I can’t find it.”

    Walp. I guess I found myself laughing to silly at the apron she was holding up to try and figure out if there was a joke involved. But, now that you mention it, I don’t even know why I was laughing so hard at the apron.

    On second reading the strip, by gum, by gosh, by golly, you’re right!

    There really isn’t a joke here. Just like there was no suspense or relief or, in general, drama in the Spiderman strip, today’s BarneySnuffySmif seemed to be phoning it in…. or, maybe a more appropriate description is that it is just leaning out the winder and hollerin’ it in.

    Seriously, I think they were just making fun of fashion designers making elaborate, expensive, hi-falutin clothing when they could make loads of money if they designed things like aprons. But, in the mind of a Hootin’ Holler-ite, they’d just mess up an easy thing, like an apron. And, they have direct competition in the ladies who can just make the aprons themselves.

    It was a really lame joke. The only redeeming value is that in panel two where, as per usual, the characters are stoned on weed and cornpone and have a horrible case of cottonmouf!

    *beginning of the long wind down for the evening……so bear with me….

  282. tallyHO
    May 31st, 2012 at 9:37 pm [Reply]

    And, I been meaning to ask this all day but one thing led to another and I just found out multi–tasking is a myth. (note, I put two hyphens in that word. I think that shows how myth-defying I am*)

    Am I the only one out there who finds The Amazing Spiderman’s latest foe, the Nefarious, Devious and Colorful Cloud-9 to be dreamy???? the stuff of nightmares?

    *just don’t noone start playin’ Myth-ty For Me!</i.

  283. tallyHO
    May 31st, 2012 at 9:41 pm [Reply]


    I don’t know how that happened.
    Maybe it was a glitch in the system. A bug.
    Maybe it was comic strip karma.
    I had two friggin hyphens in the word “multi-tasking”.

    And, poof. the system, not too tired to squeeze me out, not too tired to beat me down, done fused the two hyphens together. this completely negates my quip.

    Curses, Clown-9’ed again! (<—which probably sounds like a soothing, Germanic, sweet nothing if you whisper it to the one you love!)

  284. commodorejohn
    May 31st, 2012 at 9:48 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#280): Now, isn’t Spider-Man the strip where you’d most expect heroes and villains alike to be regularly defeated by an overinflated balloon?

  285. kkarenb
    May 31st, 2012 at 9:49 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#279): Unfortunately, no. And “curse me out” was a poor choice of words – the person called me back and said that I was a horrible person, rude, etc. It was enough to take me aback, though. Telemarketers are so maddening that I think I forget just how much abuse they have to take. Although they should learn to accept “No.” There is one charity I have refused to contribute to because the caller was so rude when I told her I wasn’t going to make a donation.

  286. kkarenb
    May 31st, 2012 at 9:51 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#278): Maybe that’s why there was no award for fiction this year.

  287. Nehemiah Scudder
    May 31st, 2012 at 9:52 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#283): Interesting. Many word processors automatically convert two adjacent n-dashes into an m-dash. It is a feature, not a bug. Evidently WordPress works like that.

  288. Nehemiah Scudder
    May 31st, 2012 at 9:54 pm [Reply]

    @kkarenb (#286): Excellent theory! “None of the fiction writers are home. Let’s try biography now.”

  289. Peanut Gallery
    May 31st, 2012 at 10:07 pm [Reply]

    @Dood (#96), @Der Schnärkïnätör (#237): Turn that clown upside-down! “You are number 6.”

  290. Nehemiah Scudder
    May 31st, 2012 at 10:11 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#266): ” “nyoo” is the historical standard in the South…”

    In some parts of the South, yes, but not most of it. And the Hootin’ Hollerites are supposed to be Appalachians, or Ozarkers, where “noo” is the standard, and they are generally rhotic.

  291. Peanut Gallery
    May 31st, 2012 at 10:16 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#191): “Chiefly Brit.” would be a great name for an Anglophile blog.

  292. tallyHO
    May 31st, 2012 at 10:21 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#287):

    oh. I know. I just didn’t notice that it occurred when I previewed it.
    Had I known then I would have spaced the two apart.

    I’m guessing two to three dashes will result in a solid line and not in a dashed line.
    For instance — — — –> Ten! 10 dashes! Ha Ha Ha Ha Haaaaa! thunder + lightning.

    If it is WordPress’ doing and it is a feature, that makes sense. WP also uses open and end quotes. So I expect it to respect most punctuation more than I seem to do.

  293. Peanut Gallery
    May 31st, 2012 at 10:23 pm [Reply]

    @geekwhisperer (#226): A super-villain dressed as a cloud would freak out commodorejohn.

  294. Sequitur
    May 31st, 2012 at 10:25 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#290): “Generally Rhotic” would be a great name for a phonetics blog.

  295. Poteet
    May 31st, 2012 at 10:26 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#206): I’ll bet your tool…er, your rubber thing…er…your hair remover…no…umm…I was going to try to say something funny about it probably looking better than Clown 9′s horrid headpiece, but now I wish I’d never ever started. Sorry, sorry, sorry.

  296. Baka Gaijin
    May 31st, 2012 at 10:26 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#282): You really have to ask???

  297. Sequitur
    May 31st, 2012 at 10:31 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#296): What is it, around 3:30 a.m. where you are? Spider-Man keeping you up?

  298. Peanut Gallery
    May 31st, 2012 at 10:40 pm [Reply]

    @a Curmudgeon from Moscow (#215):

    So, even if you drop j from news, it still doesn’t rhyme with booze, right?

    @seismic-2 (#266):

    the distinct difference in “Mary” / “marry” / “merry”

    See, this is the problem with all this pronunciational arcana. How are we supposed to find rhymes to use in our doggerel verse if there are such precise distinctions, and the distinctions aren’t even consistent from one speaker to another? If everyone’s pronunciation were as degenerate and undifferentiated as mine apparently is, it would be a lot easier to produce our silly couplets about Barney Google and such.

  299. Sequitur
    May 31st, 2012 at 10:41 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#295): Nehemiah Scudder has never offered us any information concerning his “tool” as I just as soon keep it that way, thank you.

    However, “I’ll Bet Your Tool” would make an interesting game show.

  300. Rocky Stoneaxe
    May 31st, 2012 at 10:41 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#293): A super-villain dressed as a cloud would freak out commodorejohn.

    Prepare to be frightened out of your skin, commodorejohn!

  301. commodorejohn
    May 31st, 2012 at 10:46 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#293), @Rocky Stoneaxe (#300): More along the lines of “inspire exasperated condescension,” really.

  302. commodorejohn
    May 31st, 2012 at 10:47 pm [Reply]

    So how many mice does it take to make a mouthful of mouse meat, anyway? Minimal? Or many?

  303. Sequitur
    May 31st, 2012 at 10:48 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#300): Man, with a rocket pack like that one had better wear his ass heat shield.

  304. Sequitur
    May 31st, 2012 at 10:53 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#302): If it’s a howling mouse you wouldn’t be able to get it anywhere near your mouth.

  305. Noah Smith
    May 31st, 2012 at 10:55 pm [Reply]

    Recently took my 22-month-old twins to Disneyland. They try to say Mickey Mouse’s name, but it comes out “meat.” Nice to know they’ll grow up to be money-making cats.

  306. tallyHO
    May 31st, 2012 at 10:59 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#301):
    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#300):

    That cloud reminds me of Sluggo’s existence.

    So, I checked out what he’s up to.

    Not long ago a lot of folks here were gathering Memorial Day comics. I’m not gonna back track for the sake of time. Even if someone did bring it up, I’ll do so again. Here’s one for the stack:


    As much as how Fritzi Ritz is drawn bothers me (not in a good way)*, the strip is pretty solid. It is sort of inventive, like today’s:

    Though it seems to have a lot of gags about appearance. That’s odd.

    The strip isn’t on most of the newspaper sites I peruse. So, I need to go to the source.

    *it isn’t that glamorous or pretty. So, some of the comments I’ve read on the web saying she is “hot” seem mis-placed, to be kind.

  307. Sgt. Stoned
    May 31st, 2012 at 11:02 pm [Reply]

    MW: If Dawn had a cooler full of beer, a fifth of Jack Daniels and a huge bag of chips stationed couch-side, I’d say it was a damned near perfect way to cure a broken heart.

  308. tallyHO
    May 31st, 2012 at 11:10 pm [Reply]

    @Sgt. Stoned (#307):

    But what would she be watching?
    I don’t know much if anything about Throne Games ( I know more about Throne Tragedies, I write, saying a quick prayer to Elvis and then throw’n’ up.)

    What would Dawn, heartbroken Dawn, be watching?

  309. Nehemiah Scudder
    May 31st, 2012 at 11:14 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#299): I have nothing to hide. In a reply to Poteet, #206, I described my tool, thusly:

    “…Made out of a mushy plastic. Works great, and on the dog, too.”

    I should add that my wife is very fond of it too.

  310. Sequitur
    May 31st, 2012 at 11:24 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#309): I suppose one should be proud of their tool.

    // Be true to your tool.

  311. Der Schnärkïnätör
    May 31st, 2012 at 11:30 pm [Reply]

    @Sgt. Stoned (#307):
    Don’t forget the remote control!

  312. Poteet
    May 31st, 2012 at 11:35 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#309): @Sequitur (#310): I can’t find mine right now, but I know it’s around here. Mushy but effective.

  313. boojum
    May 31st, 2012 at 11:36 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#266): When the author of that article speaks of “nyoo” as being the historic norm in the South, I believe he or she means distant history; the next sentence states that the pronunciation has virtually disappeared today.

    I grew up, and still live, in what I have today learned is the Southern American English region. I don’t remember ever hearing someone use the pronunciation Nyoo York. And I have never been accused of yod-dropping in my life. Hell, Frank Sinatra – hardly your just plain folks type – sings about Noo York, Noo York.

    Oddly enough, I do pronounce “merry” differently from “marry.” And I have had to work my ass off to say “coupon” without the yod sound. Different strokes, I guess. In third grade my teacher would not rest until she cured me of saying “skyule” instead of “school.” I couldn’t even hear the difference.”

    I can now (at 59) pronounce “pen” and “pin” differently almost every time. But I have to bite my lip, slow down and concentrate not to pronounce the alphabet as “el… im… in… oh… pee.”

  314. tallyHO
    May 31st, 2012 at 11:36 pm [Reply]

    Check this one out:

    None of the usual suspects I read often even bother going for straight-up, “far out” visual humor. Maybe some others do but I don’t read ‘em.

    (and please don’t say “Zippy will fulfill your needs and quench your desires. One of us! One of us!” Cuz I ain’t buyin’ it!)

  315. Mr. O'Malley
    May 31st, 2012 at 11:40 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#298): There’s a comic Irish song with the chorus “We’ll all be making merry when I marry Mary Mack”. This explains why it has never caught on in the US.

  316. Rocky Stoneaxe
    May 31st, 2012 at 11:40 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#306): [re: Fritzi Ritz] I suppose it’s all in the eye of the beholder. For example: I can’t for the life of me understand why anyone would find Frank “Plain Jane” Bolle’s Margo Magee attractive — especially when you compare his Margo to Alex “Va Va Voom” Kotzky’s MM. Bolle was a pretty decent artist 40 years ago, but his forte was never drawing beautiful women.

  317. tallyHO
    May 31st, 2012 at 11:44 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#296):

    You were on my mind there.
    On the sunny side of Clown-9, he is just a big ol’ freaky looking reject from not only the thea-tuh but also a reject from the Parliament Funkadelic. I doubt he’d even get invited on board to the P-Funk All Stars (and they seem like they’d take anyone to try and Enhance the Power of the Funk).

    What Clown-9 is to you, M. ou Mr. Baka Gaijin, Zippy the Pinhead is to me. I tried watching the movie Freaks but I just couldn’t finish it. After that, my feelings about Zippy, as a character, were sealed. Then I dug a hole and buried those feelings. Deep.

  318. tallyHO
    May 31st, 2012 at 11:53 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#316):

    Wow. Wowwowow Wow!

    That took effort.

    Not to look at, mind you. It took effort, and skill, to draw. That’s gorgeous. Even the…ahem…koff…the dudes have a fine cut to their jib.

    And, the characters have room for their bodies!!!!!!!!!!!! and faces to be expressive. Wow.

    There’s your high-quality clip art, A3G people! They don’t need to go to a discotheque, but for the love of all that is purty, let something happen! And, let it look good!

    //aw, nuts. why bother? Thanks for letting me know. I have vague notion that it looked better at one point but the notion didn’t look that good.

  319. tallyHO
    May 31st, 2012 at 11:55 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#316):

    As for Fritzi….I can see who she is and that she’s a “step above” the other characters in terms of beauty but there’s something slightly clumsy about how she’s drawn. Perhaps it is the contrast between the rest of the characters but I think it is simpler than that. She just looks a bit awkward.

    Again, I can see how she’s supposed to be “hot”…maybe even be a vamp. But, I don’t see it. Or, it doesn’t show up for my eyes.

  320. Rocky Stoneaxe
    June 1st, 2012 at 12:00 am [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#303): Indeed, Adam Strange’s miliaria rubra is off the charts.

  321. Nehemiah Scudder
    June 1st, 2012 at 12:00 am [Reply]

    @boojum (#313): Frank Sinatra – hardly your just plain folks type – sings about Noo York, Noo York.

    It’s a helluva town. The Bronx is up, and the Bowery’s down. Just about all the songs I can find on youtube have it as “Noo York” – it may just be hard to sing “Nyoo”, I can’t do it.

  322. tallyHO
    June 1st, 2012 at 12:01 am [Reply]

  323. odinthor
    June 1st, 2012 at 12:09 am [Reply]

    #313. boojum.

    And I have had to work my ass off to say “coupon” without the yod sound.

    No! Leave your ass alone! “Kyew-pon” was standard here in So. Cal. up until, say, twenty-five or thirty years ago, when “koo-pon” started coming on strong, first in TV commercials voiced by actors who doubtless were in actuality agents of the sinister anti-yod underground. “Kyew-pon” still has a strong presence here (but, sadly, I’d say that “koo-pon” is winning out).

  324. Nehemiah Scudder
    June 1st, 2012 at 12:23 am [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#322): Astonishing, isn’t it? If Shulock and Bolle have ever seen Kotzky’s work… how can they dare call whatever it is they do Apartment 3G? Any decent person would be embarrassed.

  325. Droopy Says
    June 1st, 2012 at 12:36 am [Reply]

    The A-snoozing Spiderman: That clown car has a presence guaranteed to strike abject bemusement in all who see it.

    Creepy Les: A sleepover with the women’s basketball team? Do they all live in the same treehouse? And is impending stepsister part of the deal, or did Summer decide to set a good example for Cayla by losing her Caucasian credentials?

    Mock Trail: It’s a sign of Trailian villainy, isn’t it, when one of the Village People invites you into a cabin with pink curtains and serves you coffee in a tea cup.

    Pluggers: If you don’t vote, don’t worry that someone will say “You voted for him so don’t complain.” Pluggers will do anything to protect their right to whine.

    Flatulence Alley: That look of calculation on Slob’s face is, well, a look. And with those hands he’s ready to calculate in base-nine arithmetic. He could hire out as Hardly-Har-Har’s accountant.

  326. tallyHO
    June 1st, 2012 at 12:47 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#324):

    Part of me wants to cut them slack because it may be pay, deadlines or other reasons that result in a reduced quality. It could also be age or how small the comics might be printed that leads to less detail.

    Another part of me thinks I’m being a tad bit selfish in wanting to see much better art.

    And, then there’s just agreeing with you.
    I realize there are really good artists and cartoonists who don’t always draw these strips as they are capable of doing. Too often it seems like some are either “slumming” or are not up to snuff.

    If I had my Druthers (not the Blondie kind) I’d want to see the most awesome art that makes it seem like the comics are worthwhile to read, to create, and that would result in comics increasing readership and inspiring awe, happiness and….

    there’s probably a song lyric that sums up how ridiculous it is to expect what I was just writing. It isn’t likely to happen. It is less likely to become greater soon. Heck, I’m surprised there are not more clipart based comics and fumetti and such. E-Z picture making for the Highest Quantity Imaginable.


  327. Poteet
    June 1st, 2012 at 1:28 am [Reply]

    GA — I read a few really old GA strips in an old comic compilation when I was a child, and then I didn’t read GA until I came here a few years ago and was drawn into a story about Walt and a comic-strip-characters retirement home, curse the evil day. So what I want to know is, was there ever a time when Slim wasn’t repellent?

  328. Poteet
    June 1st, 2012 at 1:46 am [Reply]

    MW — Wilbur’s smile in that second panel is absolutely chilling. Dawn, you’re going to be sorry you were ever born.

  329. This Guy
    June 1st, 2012 at 2:00 am [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#326): Nah, wanting much better art that only you could see would be selfish. You’re just being community-minded and, dare I say it, altruistic. Rev. Scudder is quite right.

  330. Liam
    June 1st, 2012 at 5:42 am [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#322):

    I like that title “The Girls in Apartment 3G”. Now lets meet the guys in the girls in Apartment 3G.

  331. Dale
    June 1st, 2012 at 5:55 am [Reply]

    Mark Trail always provides good lessons for the children.

    If you are home alone and a stranger knocks on your door, ask him in. Now you won’t be alone anymore.
    Offer him a beverage or just point to the liquor cabinet if you have one.
    Now, politely ask him who he is and why he came to your house.

  332. John C Fremont
    June 1st, 2012 at 6:20 am [Reply]

    DT – “Chief, your wish is granted. Long live Jambi.”

    But seriously, folks. That second panel is awesome. Awesome, I tell you.

  333. gleeb
    June 1st, 2012 at 6:43 am [Reply]

    Gas: Slim hungers.

    Gil: Is he twice as old as she is now, was he twice as old as she was then? Either way is pretty creepy.

    Sam Driver, capable of being trained!: He’s learned to get the deal inked before the mogul is inevitably killed.

    Pluggers: …only live in states that are considered “safe” for one or another party? That can’t be. There’s got to be loads of pluggers in Pennsylvania and Florida alone.

    Spidey: What a relief for everyone who lives on Clowny’s block. Covered up, that car has a very phallic look.

  334. Hogenmogen
    June 1st, 2012 at 7:55 am [Reply]

    MT: I am clean shaven, and square of jaw. I dress as a rugged outdoorsman, and my hair is shorn close to my scalp, as is yours. I subscribe to shitty outdoors magazines with their off-center, crooked, blurry photos and crappy stories about dancing bears and rescuing wounded racoons. I gave up smoking when it was no longer fashionable. Watch as I drink scalding coffee out of a dainty teacup, but I sternly resist sticking my pinkie up. You can not defeat me. I am you, Mr. Trail. I am YOU.

  335. Peanut Gallery
    June 1st, 2012 at 8:08 am [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#322): The “Pardon me, but your pillow is ringing” panel should be read in an Inspector Clouseau voice.

  336. Hogenmogen
    June 1st, 2012 at 8:13 am [Reply]

    SM: That’s not a clown car. A clown car would be one of those little ones where 30 people get out. It would require a roof. The car he has probably cost a lot more than an unemployed actor would be able to afford, and it shows that he was about to embark on a life of crime regardless of how his B’way stint turned out. So he’s now got a costume, a name and a car. It’s too much to ask of this strip that he also have a coherent storyline.

    MW: So we watched Dawn moping on the couch all week, which was about as exciting as you’d expect, which is to say not exciting at all. It was very, very, very not exciting. But wait! Now we shift into high gear to watch Wilbur contemplate making a phone call… but not just ANY phone call, it is a long distance phone call! I’m totally psyched thinking about those extra digits that he will have to push into the phone, looming large in the foreground.

  337. tb4000
    June 1st, 2012 at 8:39 am [Reply]

    A&J: See 9CL, THIS is how you do something like that without it causing people to vomit in their mouths a little bit.

  338. Nehemiah Scudder
    June 1st, 2012 at 8:44 am [Reply]

    @tb4000 (#337): You know, the way you put that is kind of ambiguous. It could be interpreted as you advising A&J to look at 9CL to see how the job should be done.

  339. seismic-2
    June 1st, 2012 at 8:46 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#327): “So what I want to know is, was there ever a time when Slim wasn’t repellent?

    I used to read the strip when Clovia and Slim were teenagers or thereabouts, and they were courting. for the life of me, I never could figure out what she saw in the guy. She surely could have done much, much better. OK, maybe he has a kind heart – I remember a story arc where he picked up some extra money by helping to care for an old lady, and there really did seem to be some tenderness there – but I’d be damned if I would have let him take care of my car, much less my mother.

  340. OhMyGod76
    June 1st, 2012 at 9:22 am [Reply]

    As a long time reader (more than 3 months, baby!), this incredibly bizarre Spiderman situation has inspired me to write a comment here for the first time. Here it is:

    “Jesus tap-dancing Christ! What drugs are they doing over there at Marvel to allow character resembling a 1950s-one-shot-joke-criminal-from-Batman be introduced as the main protagonist in a 2012 daily Spiderman comic no one but the people reading this site care about? Because I want some! Don’t those one-step-above-an-intern colorists have any idea how much continuity-arguing and plot-line complications they’re creating for fanboys and comic nerds for the next millennium? I look forward to the day, 30 years from now, when some Frank Miller/Neil Gaiman-esque dreamer grittily reboots this villain in a graphic novel where Hardy Laurel eats the faces off his victims and wears their skin onstage, taking hostages and forcing them to watch his ‘comedic acting’ until they don’t laugh enough, at which point he electrocutes them. Wherein, once again, Spiderman will merely mope. ”

    Thank you. I now return to my previous silent lurking.

  341. The Ridger
    June 1st, 2012 at 9:35 am [Reply]

    @boojum (#313): Yeah, but Sinatra’s from New Jersey, not the South.

    Anyway, WWII and the massive population-movement that began then, along with the advent of (as Don Williams put it) learning “to talk like the man on the 6 o’clock news”, was the downfall of rigid local dialects. They aren’t by any means gone, but there are far fewer hard-and-fast lines on the mapl

  342. Canton
    June 1st, 2012 at 11:26 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#267): Alas, I have not read them. But I do want to. Wonder if they are collected somewhere…

    Welp, off to Amazon!

  343. cory g
    June 4th, 2012 at 6:33 pm [Reply]

    G.A. – That’s not money cat that is definitely death cat. SKRITCH! is the new death rattle.

  344. arachnophobe
    June 5th, 2012 at 1:29 pm [Reply]

    Yessir, when Clown 9 hits the scene we’ll just see…. Wait a sec. Is it Clown 9 or Clown 6? Or is that a lower case ‘b’? Or maybe some weird kind of quarter note? Dang! Back into my civvies to sort this out, THEN it’s into the clown-mobile and off to….. where was I going?

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    January 4th, 2014 at 10:53 pm [Reply]

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