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Shoe, 10/19/24

To be sure, the human heart is a mystery, and nobody can say why anyone does anything, really, but that hasn’t stopped me from wondering why exactly Shoe brought back Muffy Hollandaise, a beloved (?) character from the ’80s or maybe the ’90s, couldn’t really tell you for sure but it’s been a long time, trust me. Anyway, since like 60% of Shoe strips are just characters saying generic gags to one another that don’t really pertain to them as distinct individuals, maybe the team decided they needed one more recurring character shape to be one of the gag-sayers, just to mix things up further. And, if that gag-saying character shape was a sexy bird-woman with a big juicy ass (as amply demonstrated in panel two), who’s going to complain? Certainly not all you perverts who read my website, that’s for sure.

Gasoline Alley, 10/19/24

Man, I kind of love how Ida Noe is losing it as she gets eclipsed by this fuckin’ robot. Arty’s all like, “Let’s go to space! I’m going to help you cheat in school,” and Ida Noe, who is literally a doll animated by some kind of evil spirit from the depths of hell, has to say “Uh, uh, let’s not be hasty! Have you talked to your parents? You don’t want them to worry!”

Family Circus, 10/19/24

I really enjoy how Billy is physically restraining Jeffy here. “No, you don’t understand, he’s grilling. It’s … too dangerous.”

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The Phantom, 10/16/24

The Avarice AI’s suicide attempt was actually a murder-suicide attempt, but it failed in both respects ignominiously, so now the poor robot has to sit there and listen to further lecturing from the Ghost Who Lectures, this time about how its declaration yesterday that it was “the unified sovereign of this planetary body” was wrong, since it thinks it’s on the moon, since the moon isn’t a planet. Far be it for me to chastise a guy for pausing his violent battle against a novel machine intelligence in order to smugly establish that he’s technically correct, the best kind of correct, but if you do that, you have to actually be technically correct, and I regret to report that the big purple guy is, in this case, not. In astronomy, a “planetary body” is an alternate term for a planetary mass object, which is defined as any body large enough to achieve achieve hydrostatic equilibrium (to hold together as a sphere or something close to it, in other words), but not large enough to sustain fusion like a star would. Plenty of objects in our solar system meet this definition, including a whole suite of natural satellites, of which our moon is one. So the score is now Avarice 1, The Phantom … well, several higher than 1, and we know he’s going to win eventually, but we gotta give this robot this one, it deserves it.

Gasoline Alley, 10/16/24

Ida Noe the evil magic doll has already tried to kill these children once, by taking them back in time to the horrors of the Civil War, but has now realized that it would be much more efficient to simply transport them beyond the Earth’s atmosphere, where they will quickly asphyxiate.

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Gasoline Alley, 10/15/24

Wow, I guess I see why Sophie has a different teacher than the other two girls! I’ve been trying pretty hard to avoid learning any specific details about these nightmare children, but now we know specifically which two are the “smart ones” (hint: not Sophie).

Dennis the Menace, 10/15/24

Just showing us Dennis and Mrs. Wilson reacting to a picture we can’t see? What a tease! WE DEMAND THE HOT MR. WILSON PIC, SHOW IT TO US AT ONCE

Shoe, 10/15/24

“I wonder if a tiger ate him?”