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Metapost: Too hot to comment of the week

Good readers! A request for you: I am thinking of doing a comedy thingie that will involve making fun of awful PowerPoint presentations, not unlike the way I make fun of comic strips. But for this to work, I need PowerPoint presentations! Do you have any that are terrible or hilarious or otherwise mockworthy that I can use? Please send ’em along if so, e-mailing them to bio at jfruh dot com! I promise to anonymize them to spare you and your employer embarrassment.

And now, your comment of the week!

I was going to call my car ‘White Lightning’, but the more I thought about it, it’s a Subaru Forester, and I’m a grown man, so how about you just get in the car already?” –TC

And your runners up! Very amusing!

“Gravity. It isn’t just for poor people anymore.” –Poteet

“Have you ever heard Mark Trail cry to the blue corn moon? Or asked the sleeping grizzly if he can help? Can you shout with all the subtlety of a man pursued? Can you paint with all the colors of the wind?” –Nate

“Good God, that final panel is chilling. Mary staring serenely at the reader, basically saying that not even the fourth wall will protect us from an untimely meddle. It’s like the octogenarian version of The Ring.” –tb4000

“Now if I could just remember how to aim a bear.” –Honey Badger, Does not give a shit

“My greatest comic wish is that at the climax of this storyline, the A3G artists decide to break their ‘nothing drawn below the waist’ rule in the most spectacular way possible: by giving us the most graphic depiction of childbirth ever seen on the comics page.” –pugfuggly

“What I love about Mark Trail is that unlike following some kind of plot, Elrod just wanders off on a journey that may or may not have anything to do with what was going on the day before and can be entirely unhinged from reality. You can totally imagine explaining any Mark Trail plot as if you were relating a weird dream to your spouse while shaving: ‘Yeah, so anyway I dreamed that Gene Johnson, you know the guy from accounting? Yeah, him. Anyway, he was convicted of murder. Weird, right? But it turns out he didn’t shoot him, his gun was borrowed to shoot the guy, but that doesn’t make any sense, so I went to the place to look for clues and there was this gum wrapper and I took it, and then I went to talk to the guy who I thought shot him and he chased me in his plane and then he and this purple woman who looks like that crazy lady who yelled at you in the dry cleaner that one time were chasing me around this island trying to shoot me, but suddenly there was this cave with this grizzly bear in it … Anyway, I don’t care what Dr. Ressler says, I am so not taking Ambien anymore.’” –geekwhisperer

“I think Dagwood is just trying to speak what he thinks is hipster jive. So, it is best to not interpret what he is saying as being literal. He is talking in what may best described as wink-winkese. As for what he is really asking for … I think Dagwood is back on the smack.” –tallyHO

“It’s official! Google won, we can all stop using Lycos now for our web searches.” –Santa Royale With Cheese

“Mary’s feeling the weight of her years as she feeds on the sadness of Wilbur’s patrons, but not to worry, she’s lopped off a few years with a youthful lower lip piercing of blasted ebon stone! Ah, the mid-life crises of the immortal and unkillable.” –Black Drazon

Today’s Wizard of Id … it feels like there should be more, doesn’t it? Like there should be a second panel that’s just a close up of the knight’s face so you can see flames reflected in his helmet as he stoically says ‘COMMENCE THE CULLING.’ Maybe that’s just me? I’ve always thought the creative team behind the Wizard of Id gleefully write and then forlornly crumple up a vast number of Black Death comics each year while muttering ‘someday, someday.’” –Tophat

“Even if that guy doesn’t work there, he should at least tell Skeezix that the device he’s gesturing towards is not a DVD player, but his penis.” –Irrischano

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