The Comics Curmudgeon

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Metapost: Stop! COTW time

Do you hate Mondays like Garfield hates Mondays, or like you hate Garfield? There’s no need for hatin’ now that Monday COTW day!

“Say what you will about Blaze, but it’s January 9th, so he must throw one hell of a New Years Eve party.” –man behind the curtain

And with each COTW, you get an array of several runners up!

“I was originally under the impression that ‘plugger’ was a sort of term of endearment and the point of the strip was for aging working-class folk to commune about their common ailments and idiosyncrasies, but I think the author has become jaded and now loathes these ‘pluggers’ — perhaps his income from his syndicated strip has allowed him to move up the socio-economic ladder to the point where he has forgotten his roots. Or maybe the pressure to meet the constant deadlines of a comic that runs daily has crushed his soul to the point where he must lash out at those who he now sees as the source of his constant torment. In any case, I expect we’ll start seeing future installments where the pluggers start to have targets and gun sight markers drawn over them as they are subject to increasingly bizarre Dante-esque horrors.” –Bobdog

“But besides that, it appears the main reason Mr. Lodge is so mad is because Archie is interrupting his get-high-and-play-bad-versions-of-Pink-Floyd-on-the-flat-guitar-while-wearing-a-gorilla-hair-sweater time.” –The Uncola

“Mr. Lodge’s sweater looks more like AstroTurf than anything else, but since he’s supposed to be rich I guess it would be something rarer — like the AstroTurf featured on the hit television series The Brady Bunch.” –Kelsey

“I’m starting to get a mental image of the women who patronize Ruby’s chain of hair salons, unable to hold their heads upright under the weight of all the bows.” –Darkefang

“Pibgorn: Why do I keep going to take a look when someone mentions this strip? It’s incomprehensible and I haven’t seen fairy boobies yet.” –UncleJeff

“I think Andrew’s ex has actually been brutally dismembered, then reassembled with an elaborate ball joint system so her friend (read: jealous murderer) can pose her like some ‘My First BFF’ doll. This not only explains the incredibly awkward sitting position, but also why her hand can only grip items like an action figure grips an accessory.” –Craig

“Uhm, I feel there should be a discussion of the bows in Ruby’s hair. Although I think all that really needs to be said is ‘ew.’” –ArbuckleLovesLyman

“I’m more and more concerned with the fact that every A3G comic strip features two people revolving around each other like they’re trapped in some sort of crazy video game boss fight level. I always picture them going into some sort of modern dance routine while making their comments, sliding limbs over furniture and playing around with the negative space. ‘No amount of the flooring will ever be trod on for too long!’” –Hasty Penguin

“New Year’s Eve occurs a little late in Apartment 3-G because the cartoonist needs to be certain that the idea of New Year’s Eve is fresh in the minds of the readers. If it actually fell on December 31, it would have been a whole year since the readers had last encountered the concept. Now it’s only a couple weeks ago, and some of them will remember it.” –Mr. Nice Guy

“Say what you will about Sunday’s [Hi and Lois], but realize this: the exact same plot would have served as the basis of at least two months of Mary Worth.” –Hank

But that’s not all! You also get these fine sponsors to this operation:

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This entry was posted on Monday, January 14, 2008 at 01:18 pm and is filed under metaposts.

316 responses to “Metapost: Stop! COTW time”

Little Guy
January 14th, 2008 at 1:34 pm [Reply]

Congrats to all! COTW is a harder nut to crack than a post-Scaduto TDiET.
fizzy logic
January 14th, 2008 at 1:36 pm [Reply]

As it’s now the 14th, and Alan’s just finishing his new years kiss, I’d say it was a hell of a kiss, too, except, well, it’s Alan, and there’s no tongue in 3-G land. Ew, I just grossed myself out a little.

Congrats to the COTWers! Funny stuff people, as usual!
cheech wizard
January 14th, 2008 at 1:37 pm [Reply]

BB – I think Beetle must be planning to use the plunger as a suction cup to help climb the hill. Either that or he’s finally had it with Sarge’s physical abuse after all these years and is going to jam it up his ass.
Indiebass
January 14th, 2008 at 1:41 pm [Reply]

I’ll be the first to point out, however, that some of the COTWs that get the honorable mention are less “Comment” of the week and more “paragraph” of the week. Or POTW, for short.
Non-Shannon
January 14th, 2008 at 2:04 pm [Reply]

Congrats, man behind the curtain! Hope you’re not too uncomfortable in the spotlight.

Between this and the life-size Spock standee I’m hopefully going to win on EBay, Monday ain’t lookin’ too shabby!
Rainbird
January 14th, 2008 at 2:14 pm [Reply]

Wow, I didn’t see the COTW the first time. Way cool. And of course congrats to all who made the float.
Rainbird
January 14th, 2008 at 2:15 pm [Reply]

Are there two different artist doing Gasoline Alley, and the verbal exchange to day is what they actually said to each other as they fought over the drawing board?
UncleJeff
January 14th, 2008 at 2:16 pm [Reply]

Yay! I’m on the float for the first time!
You’ll recognize me. I’m the guy in the “Cleveland
Steamers” t-shirt featured in today’s “Brevity”.
Nate
January 14th, 2008 at 2:25 pm [Reply]

Oh, how I love you all. COTW is such a great way to start off my week. Good stuff, people; good stuff.
Benicillin
January 14th, 2008 at 2:40 pm [Reply]

(cough)
Little Guy
January 14th, 2008 at 2:40 pm [Reply]

You know, the mailman might be the first character who could hold his own against Dr. Julii.

But what do I know? I picked the Jags over the Pats.
Little Guy
January 14th, 2008 at 2:41 pm [Reply]

(I mean the mailman in GA.)
Benicillin
January 14th, 2008 at 2:42 pm [Reply]

Way to go “man behind the curtain.” We’re all proud of you.

I enjoyed “Bobdog’s” runner-up immensely.

#5: Can you really consider the highest bid for a life-sized Nimoy a “win?”
Girl Reporter
January 14th, 2008 at 2:42 pm [Reply]

My boss is wearing a black sweater vest today. The Urge to roll my eyes behind his back.
Benicillin
January 14th, 2008 at 2:45 pm [Reply]

#5…I’m actually a fan of Nimoy. Tell me this isn’t the sexiest Spock photo in history: http://usimages.easyart.com/i/prints/rw/lg/2/2/Starposter-Leonard-Nimoy–Mittel–223758.jpg

Kind of like Keunau Reeves and Rex Reed had a bastard love-child.
bats :[
January 14th, 2008 at 2:46 pm [Reply]

Well done, floatees! No doubt, hair bows (lots and lots and lots of them!) will be the tossed-tschotske of choice in this week’s parade! Collect ‘em all!

Oh, heck, it’s never gonna happen, but a girl can dream:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/9545446@N07/2193439004/
Benicillin
January 14th, 2008 at 2:46 pm [Reply]

Weird…Josh’s technology made my last post sound like Shatner.
ltrftp Hedly
January 14th, 2008 at 2:46 pm [Reply]

Congrats to all.
Little Guy
January 14th, 2008 at 3:00 pm [Reply]

16: You’re a girl, bats :[ ?

To Ed Power: Just checked out some of Melissa’s manga work — I can just imagine what she could do with Abbey Spenser, Cassandra Cat, or any of the Apt 3-G women.

If she could give any of the Burber women a pleasant personality, I would be her humble and eternal slave.
UncleJeff
January 14th, 2008 at 3:06 pm [Reply]

Today’s “Love is…”
Two naked kids leaving the doctor’s office.
Love is “what you’ve longed for”.
A clean STD check-up?
mere cog in the machine
January 14th, 2008 at 3:09 pm [Reply]

14: The only thing lamer than a sweater vest is a dicky.
rhymes with puck
January 14th, 2008 at 3:19 pm [Reply]

MW: I’m hopeful that the next plot will involve Drew and Tobey having an illicit affair right under Chinbeard’s nose. The two of them could hang out in Tobey’s apartment – and by hang out I mean have sex, in case I’m not being clear – while Chinbeard sits at the foot of the bed and reads his Bartlett’s Quotations, searching for the best response to the situation. Unfortunately he’ll probably just lamely grovel to Vera until she dumps her brother and takes him back. Or until Mary kills him.

Baldo: What does it say about me that in a strip with one character saying one of the most vile, racist comments in the history of comics, all I can think is “that’s not a cheese pizza, it’s obviously got pepperoni on it!” Probably nothing good…

Curtis: This comic has been approved by Al Gore.
Anonymous
January 14th, 2008 at 3:33 pm [Reply]

I think that the Chester/Raphie Chestaphiestory wrapped up way too quickly and easily. There is much more going on there. Something dark.

Something sinister.

Aldo’s kin are going to strike back at the Charterstonecoldkillers and Chestaphie was a plant to get into Mary’s apartment to plant listening devices and micro cameras.

Aldokin is going to come up with proof of Mary’s sexual proclivities. . .
Hank
January 14th, 2008 at 3:35 pm [Reply]

I made runner up! Whoo hoo!!

Congrats to all, most notably TMBTC for winning!
Niall
January 14th, 2008 at 3:36 pm [Reply]

Yay for COTWs! A lot of them are from very recent threads, too.

15. Benicillin: looks like Nemow in his Bilbo Baggins days. That shirt, though… uh.. I have two scarily similar ones. So I’ll shut up.

16. bats :[ : I bow before your mastery.

19. Little Guy: Where would Ms. De Jesus’s manga art be found? (And I wonder if she’s related to a Texas-based DeJesus who used to do american manga-style stuff in the 90s for Antarctic Press..)

21. mere cog: sweater vests are not for everyone. It takes a certain particular frame of mind and physique to wear one and get away with it. (Or: to pull it on and pull it off. :))
Non-Shannon
January 14th, 2008 at 3:39 pm [Reply]

Re: 13 Benicillin

Yes. Yes I can.

Re: 15 Benicillin

*the urge–but, like good!*
Uncle Lumpy
January 14th, 2008 at 3:40 pm [Reply]

#25 Niall –

All the benefits of a cardigan, without the bulky buttons and sleeves! What’s not to lo-o-o-o-ove?
Perky Bird
January 14th, 2008 at 3:41 pm [Reply]

#21– How about wearing a sweater vest with a dicky? There’s a fashion statement for ya!
Hank
January 14th, 2008 at 3:45 pm [Reply]

RE: Spider-man. I’m pretty sure that the rumor Krandis is referring to probably has nothing to do with secret ID, an illicit affair with MJ or anything interesting like that. No, more likely the rumor Krandis heard is that Spidey watches a lot of TV and stalks celebrities as a result.
Anonymous
January 14th, 2008 at 3:55 pm [Reply]

#28 –How about wearing a sweater vest with a dicky? There’s a fashion statement for ya!

The well dressed curmudgeon never goes out into public without a sweater vest, dicky, and merkin.
mere cog in the machine
January 14th, 2008 at 4:09 pm [Reply]

30: I’m not sure what a “merkin” is, but it sounds faintly obscene, as in: “I tried to go all the way with her, but I only got a merkin”.
Anonymous
January 14th, 2008 at 4:24 pm [Reply]

ah, merkins separate the Upper Classmen Curmudgeons from the plebes….
UncleJeff
January 14th, 2008 at 4:24 pm [Reply]

#30 – Anonymous: I hope the well-dressed curmudgeon will wear more than just a sweater vest, dicky and a merkin in the kind of weather we’re having here in the midwest!
More information on the merkin can be found……
Anonymous
January 14th, 2008 at 4:26 pm [Reply]

merkin
Hubris
January 14th, 2008 at 4:33 pm [Reply]

Awesome stuff.
Solocardate
January 14th, 2008 at 4:37 pm [Reply]

There’s a certain hyperpatriotic song from 1984 (gods, has it been around that long?) that I’m only able to tolerate if I imagine its lyrics to be “I’m proud to be a Merkin.”
PeteMoss
January 14th, 2008 at 4:42 pm [Reply]

36. Solocardate

ha ha. “Least I know I’m fahreee!”
cheech wizard
January 14th, 2008 at 4:48 pm [Reply]

34 – Wow – and I always thought it referred to U.S. citizens.

As in “You A’merkin?”
Loopina
January 14th, 2008 at 4:49 pm [Reply]

Baldo: Ugh, something tells me there’s gonna be a week-plus arc about anti-Latino racism. Or pizza, I dunno. But seriously, “bean-eaters”? In the real world, both of those kids would be expelled in short order.

I like Baldo in general, but I prefer it when it forgets it’s about a Hispanic family and just tries to be funny instead.
Benicillin
January 14th, 2008 at 4:59 pm [Reply]

Also, Hasty Penguin’s comment…I couldn’t put a finger on what was bothering me visually about the strip until I read your remark. I laughed, I cried.

Non-Shannon…

(cough)
AhClem
January 14th, 2008 at 5:06 pm [Reply]

I knew a guy in elementary school with the last name Merkin, and a girl with the last name Hymen. With that kind of exposure during my formative years, it explains a lot.
Thumb
January 14th, 2008 at 5:06 pm [Reply]

“Pibgorn: Why do I keep going to take a look when someone mentions this strip? It’s incomprehensible and I haven’t seen fairy boobies yet.”

Just run through the archives and let your imagination work a little (extra-dimensional fairy boobies at that). They’re there, and worth the incomprehensibility.

If you’re into that kind of thing….(cough).
PeteMoss
January 14th, 2008 at 5:35 pm [Reply]

Bravo, Oh Makers-of -comments-which-maketh-me-chortle!

I’m a little bit disturbed today by the third panel in A3G. Its that brunette’s ear. What’ going on there? It reminds of those cheap make-up jobs Star Trek would sometimes do to make a totally humanoid actor appear somewhat other worldly. I know that NYC is a very diverse place. I’m glad ol’ Blaze would think to invite his Seti Alpha 5 friends.
PeteMoss
January 14th, 2008 at 5:39 pm [Reply]

Hooop Yah! Hoop Yah! This is me, this is me, this meeeeee!

Or is it?
snork3455
January 14th, 2008 at 5:42 pm [Reply]

Pluggers: Oh ho ho! Pluggers aren’t hep to the latest “techno-logical developments”! I identify with this sentiment and am keen to laugh! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

Alternate text: oh lol manual typewriters
fluffytufts
January 14th, 2008 at 5:46 pm [Reply]

30 & 32 – Ah, anonymous – I remember merkins (wasn’t that a 70’s sitcom?). That thread was eons ago. I didn’t realize there were any Cardinal grad students left on the mothership.

42 – Thumb – I agree re fairy boobies. Worth the effort every time. By the way, (to make this even creepier), the red glittery stuff on Drusilla and the similar green on Pib? Skin, not clothing – Brooke’s a lascivious old dude. It ain’t Liberty Meadows, but I ‘ll take it. Now if the effing story would just move along…
PeteMoss
January 14th, 2008 at 5:51 pm [Reply]

Pluggers don’t trust indoor plumbing.
Pluggers fear floridated water.
Pluggers are convinced the moon landings were a hoax.
Pluggers never exfoliate.
Pluggers prefer their undewear like their women – tight and white.
Pluggers believe in Merka.
PeteMoss
January 14th, 2008 at 5:53 pm [Reply]

Plugger mark their territory when no one is looking.
Niall
January 14th, 2008 at 5:54 pm [Reply]

40+ years and never even heard of a merkin, the word or the object it represents.

There are times I both wonder why I read these entries, and thank those who educate me, at the same time.

Carry on.
Canaduck
January 14th, 2008 at 5:54 pm [Reply]

Congrats to the winners!! I totally love the official COTW, too.

36. SolocardateDamn you for getting that song in my head, even with your far superior lyrics!!!
dreadedcandiru2
January 14th, 2008 at 5:54 pm [Reply]

Post Hybrid Watch: I don’t know if this has been mentioned in the last few threads but Lynn’s plans for the post-Hybrid phase of the strip include a book that details what she thinks the Pattersons’ lives are supposed to be like in the future. Should be some fun snarking that, eh?
commodorejohn
January 14th, 2008 at 6:12 pm [Reply]

#51 dreadedcandiru2 – I thought we knew that; all the Pattersons and Pattersons-by-marriage will gradually transform into an army of Elly clones, the Patterson hangers-on will remain in worshipful adulation of the Queen Elly (the current Elly after she coccoons and finishes her long metamorphosis into a frumpy, obese housefrau) and the rest of the Foobiverse will be cast into the heathen darkness outside the strip forever and ever.
commodorejohn
January 14th, 2008 at 6:13 pm [Reply]

Oops, “forever and Eva.”
Poteet
January 14th, 2008 at 6:45 pm [Reply]

Congratulations, man behind the curtain, and the same to you other snarkers riding the float. May your ride be as joyous as your snarks were funny!

MW — She took mediocre care of a dog for a few days and now she has to “come to terms” with her loss? I really wish there was a way to give that squirrel a small machine gun.
Lord-z
January 14th, 2008 at 6:59 pm [Reply]

I had hoped that a couple of mine might be COTW material, but seeing yours, I can see that all of you deserve it way more than any of mine. Well done, everyone. Well done.
Razmytaz
January 14th, 2008 at 7:19 pm [Reply]

I bow in respect to all the float riders…

and now back to Mark Trail Theater! Luke Wilson’s brain tumor has clearly advanced faster than expected, as he has forgotten that up in the Canadian fastness of Le Foret Perdue there hasn’t been a death penalty since 1976. But that’s OK, there will be wacky hijinks as ~~Sam Hill~~Mrs. Bull Malone attempts to ice Mark, who will only to be saved at the last moment by a small cigar smoking Andy, PI.

(And I’m still of the opinion that the real villain is mounty Steve McQueen. He’s mixed up in all this somehow, mark my words.)
ralph
January 14th, 2008 at 7:49 pm [Reply]

Congratulations to all float riders, and Divine O’F, that was a great TDIET the other day!
Little Guy
January 14th, 2008 at 8:02 pm [Reply]

25: Niall GIS for Melissa DeJesus

(And yes, I realize after the fact that Melissa *has* done Cassandra via MC, but I was thinking…. oh, you know where — a place where no Sam Driver has gone before)
Poteet
January 14th, 2008 at 8:43 pm [Reply]

# 56 Razmytaz — I too look forward to the following the murderous machinations of that sultry brunette, who of course was destined to be villainous because she is sultry. In the world of MT, there is no other way.

And on a dull minor petty pedantic note, Pope Josh, I think your second sentence needs a verb. While some ride the float, others walk way behind the parade with pan and broom, looking for grammatical, um, droppings:-).
Poteet
January 14th, 2008 at 8:46 pm [Reply]

Divine O’F, if you are there, belated congratulationss on your Scaduto glory. Whether O’F, O’Fauna, or O’Flora, you are always divine in my book!
Poteet
January 14th, 2008 at 8:49 pm [Reply]

# 59 — So naturally I just did a big dropping myself. Sorry for the extra “the.” Jeez.
Gap-Toothed Starey "HOOOO!" Guy
January 14th, 2008 at 9:20 pm [Reply]

Someone may well have mentioned this already, but if so, I missed it:

http://www.lasagnacat.com/

For all your bizarre Garfield reenactment/music video needs! Hoooo!
Mooncattie
January 14th, 2008 at 9:40 pm [Reply]

MT – I’ve never seen Veronica Lodge so angry.

There’s a special lesson for all of us from Mark Trail:
If you plan on murdering your lover’s husband, using someone else’s rifle to get them fingered for the crime, after being seen in public earlier that evening with your lover, in the same place as her husband, who was engaged in a fistfight with the guy you’re setting up for the crime you’re about to commit, and you carelessly decide to leave the remains of one of the small cigars that everyone knows you smoke at the scene of the crime, it’s vitally important that you be examined for a brain tumor first. AND then get a second opinion, in case they can operate to save you after all.

All that remains now is for poor Mr. Wilson to have his bandages punched off.
man behind the curtain
January 14th, 2008 at 10:43 pm [Reply]

It’s great to begin the week as the COTW. But now it will be all downhill from here. Can’t improve on that so maybe I should just stay home it bed. I’ve already managed to lose my watch. Anyway, thanks to all for the kind words.

MW — Dr, Drewfus, runner’s high requires one to run, not do whatever it is you’re doing.

A3G — I can see where Alan in his druken stupor could easily mistake a brunette for blonde LuAnn. But on closer review, perhaps his choice reveals a secret desire for Margo. Or Blaze.
Obélix
January 14th, 2008 at 10:44 pm [Reply]

O’F -

A day thread late and a dollar short, but congrats on the Scadutoization!

–Obélix
Obélix
January 14th, 2008 at 10:47 pm [Reply]

mere cog -

For a fascinating look into the strange world of hardcore Civil War reenactors, I commend to you Tony Horwitz’ absolutely marvelous, “Confederates in the Attic.”

–Obélix
Joe Btfsplk
January 14th, 2008 at 11:10 pm [Reply]

COTW – Heh heh! Congrats… And it’s true, as long as we place the emphasis on the “hell” part.
Joe Btfsplk
January 14th, 2008 at 11:56 pm [Reply]

Mark Trail – “Besides you, he’s the only one who knows that! Oh, and that gorilla who lives with me heard everything, too! And Trail’s dog knows! Be sure to bump off the dog first! He’s the smart one!”

Apartment 3-ZZZZZ – I have come across evidence that Blaze’s party has actually been going on since 1849.

Beetle Bailey – Some possibilities:

1) I actually thought the same as #3 Skullturf (yesterthread) and #3 cheech wizard (here) at first, about Beetle using the plunger’s suction cup as a climbing aid. I still might.

2) Clogged latrines are all Beetle knows, so, when you see every problem as a nail, etc.

3) Beetle knows that Sarge is going to put him on 24-hour latrine duty for a month for mouthing off, and he’s just showing Sarge that he’s one step ahead.

4) The plunger is their favorite, er, toy, and Sarge is angry at Beetle for bringing it out in public.
Alt Comix
January 15th, 2008 at 12:35 am [Reply]

Rex Morgan What’s that strange-looking contraption in the back of the cabin? It’s doesn’t look like any sort of still that I’ve ever seen. Does the kid recognize it? Has he seen one of them before?

Click here to find out http://www.flickr.com/photos/altcomix/2194615040/
bats :[
January 15th, 2008 at 12:36 am [Reply]

Some Tuesday musings:

A3G: I guess when Alan finds LuAnn on her knees in front of some guy in the guest bathroom, I guess that won’t mean anything either.

FC: “Not yet, sweetie. Come back when the tip of your nose and your fingers turn black.”

JP: as Sam prattles on, Gloria makes a mental note of asking Abby for her “nice chicken” recipe. It’s true, the way to a man’s heart is through his…no, wait, wrong route.

MW: Oh, joy! Oh, rapture! This looks like the return of Dr. Drew, Manwhore!!

FOOB (Monday): Elly’s the kind of person you want to have call a suicide hotmail, and then have her be put on hold…

(Tuesday): no doubt Elly is going to make a point (if she hasn’t already…hah!) to remind future generations of how her countless sacrifices have improved their lives. As a result of such sterling behaviour,
Michael will dedicate his second book to her, realizing the dedication in the first was far too little for such a saint;
Dee will roll her eyes (just prior to passing out from the anti-depressants she’s self-prescribed for several years);
Elizabeth will beg and plead with Asshathony to knock her up — anything to get away from her mother (when Asshathony asks her what “knocking her up” means, Elizabeth proceeds to call Warren, Paul, Lawrence, Gordon and Howard Erk and ask the same favor);
April tells her whole Milborough family to fuck off and buys a one-way bus ticket to Manitoba, having cobbled together enough spare change in the bus depot by turning tricks out by the lockers (”You made $70.25, miss? Who gave you 25 cents?” “Everybody.”);
Meredith wonders why Grandma Mira suddenly seems like “the good one” now;
Robin poops his pants. And hums.
Alt Comix
January 15th, 2008 at 12:46 am [Reply]

Judge Parker I think I forgot to post this one after I hit PREVIEW (it’s not the first time). Here’s what I think is going on with Sam, Abbey and that new dark-haired secretary who likes to lick things in front of Sam:

Click here http://www.flickr.com/photos/altcomix/2194579722/
Anna Nimity
January 15th, 2008 at 1:02 am [Reply]

34. Gahhhh! Merkin! TMI! TMI! Although it does make Cog in the Machine’s guess eerily accuate. Ew. Ew.

bats, you rule.

FOOB: Did Elly, the Original Spoiled Brat, actually say, “IT SUCKS TO BE ME?” It sucks to be her? This new level of hubris on Lynn’s part has left me apoplectially speechless. I’ve only been reading the strip for ten or twelve years, but did I MISS SOMETHING?? What on earth about Elly’s ridiculously charmed and trouble-free life SUCKS? AUGH!

True Fable, please take over the rant from here, as I cannot do justice to this. Anna thanks you.
Poteet
January 15th, 2008 at 1:30 am [Reply]

Foob — Since Elly is on a long woe-is-me-I’m-aging kick, I vote for her to need a shoulder replacement, a knee replacement, or a hip replacement. Or something similar. If you’re going to kvetch about growing old, Elly, let’s give you something to kvetch about.
True Fable
January 15th, 2008 at 1:40 am [Reply]

# 72 Anna Nimity – your wish is my command to snark!

FBoFW Elly Patterson has a life that most people believe is ideal – dependable (if boring) husband, healthy children who ~~support themselves~~ are talented in seeking out supplemental help, a home that is paid for, grandchildren right down the street, retired and living comfortably. However, the most hideous thing in her life is not that her father has aphasia or that her grandson seems developmentally stunted. No, it’s the fact that years of stuffing her face with fresh apple pies and tuna casseroles and dinner plate burgers have given her an ass the size of Kansas, a double chin and a lousy posture from bending over close to the edge of the table so she can shovel food in easier. Oh, it sucks to be Elly and actually have to own up to the hag in the mirror, because her image reminds her that she cannot control herself. Neither her willpower nor her emotions nor her understanding of the importance of vital issues has a chance of surviving a look in the mirror. Oh, it sucks to be Elly, despite her bizarre dance of self celebration before the full-length mirror in someone’s bedroom. Let’s all give a Hoop-rah.

Then Tuesday we see that Elly’s self-loathing results in a rah-rah from her personal cheerleader Connie the Neighbor, who reminds this incredibly hard-assed woman who couldn’t be bothered to tell her son a simple “yes I love you” in Sunday’s panels, that those wrinkles and bags were EARNED, and that they are good mothers! And they are grandmothers, although we never heard about Lawrence and his partner adopting so how does that make Connie an “us” in grandmother-speak, but never mind. But it sucks to be Elly despite all the glowing reviews from Cheerleader Connie, and she shows it by cursing in the last panel that the kids “had better *#^ appreciate it.”

Yep, that’s our Motherfuckhead of the Year, Elly Patterson, all right: sour and cursing and moody and bitchy and all the things we’ve come to expect of this most disagreeable character in comics. She makes Lucy Van Pelt look like the Dali Lama.

/rant
Truman A. Fable
abridged rant
SecretMargo
January 15th, 2008 at 2:05 am [Reply]

74: True — Wait…Lawrence is Connie’s son? I somehow missed/blocked that! I think I’ve shared before how I was raised in implicit comparison with Michael, since were born around the same time and went through similar life stages in sync…but in the end, she wound up with a Lawrence, not a Michael, if you know what I mean. The weird thing? My mother’s actual name is…Connie! So she should have known all along?

When I went back home for Christmas this year, I found out that she a) didn’t really read FOOB much anymore, since it is “such a soap opera now,” b) hates FW almost as much as I do, and c) really loves “Tundra,” which was recently picked up by the local rag. She even sends me clipped ones in the mail sometimes! If she had an internet connection she’d be dangerous.
True Fable
January 15th, 2008 at 2:07 am [Reply]

While I’m at it, I’m going to snark the rest of the funnies ‘cuz that’s what I dooo at this hour of night.

9CL So Glasses Chick’s only complaint is that Juliette bitched out the visiting prof with Truth? Geez, higher education really stinks where they’re from: Lalaland College.
A3G Hit him, Luann! Remind him Who’s Artwork is in the Gallery – you know, where it will really hurt.
Baldo RUMBLE! The Jets are in gear, our cylinders are clickin’…
Curtis Wow, Dad is close to snapping! Get the popcorn!
DtM Plus 10 points, Dennis. Very subtle, she can’t blame you and yet you did definite damage to Alice’s peace of mind. Well played, my lad. You are back to even steven at MenaceWatch2008.
(WT)DT I miss the days of Dick Tracy’s classic squinty eyes. His gobsmacked look is just not the Dick Tracy I know and why I stay away from smokestacks.
Diesel Sweeties I just realized I don’t snark on this strip because I just don’t know what to say about a robot who looks like he is constantly holding his own boobies.
FC I don’t know, but if you drag in any more slush I’m going to light a fire on your little ass and make it a moot point, Jeffy.
FBoFW See rant.
FW Does Batiuk have any idea what life is like with only one arm? Because Comic Geek doesn’t seem to realize Becky could sure use his and the kids’ help more often.
GA WHY does the angry man look like Ziggy on steroids and the rest of the strip looks so well-drawn? that’s annoying.
(DT)GT He’s cute?!? oh wait, this is Milford. I suppose it’s cute that he’s taller than she is. That sounds more realistic than simply “he’s cute.”
JP Has Sam been getting some on the side from Gloria all this time, is that why he doesn’t pay much attention to Redmullet S. McBrownieInhaler?
MT Man, Evil Sam Hill Wannabe is looking downright VICIOUS in that last panel! I wouldn’t be surprised if SHE took a punch at Mark.
MW I didn’t notice the cell phone at first and thought Dr. Drew was attempting some sort of Vulcan Telepathy to talk to Vera Virgin, who is rockin’ the Purple Quilt look pretty hard.
PBS More Roof Fish! Yay!
Phantom Oh sure, just up and find another line of work. Honey, I’ve been trying it for years and so far, nothing. But hey, maybe I need to marry someone who wears striped purple Speedos. On purpose.
RMMD From the look of shock and dismay on Niki’s face in the last panel, you have to wonder just what kind of paper Rex has in mind, how soon he needs it and why doesn’t he just use leaves like any other camper.
True Fable
January 15th, 2008 at 2:08 am [Reply]

# 75 SecretMargo – Your mother sounds like the ideal woman! *sigh* :-)
SecretMargo
January 15th, 2008 at 2:16 am [Reply]

77: Well, just as I’m glad I didn’t actually turn out very much like Michael, I can thank my lucky stars that she’s no Elly!
Mariko
January 15th, 2008 at 2:17 am [Reply]

I seem to remember a discussion about the New Yorker caption contest, and how ‘Christ, what an asshole’ was the perfect caption for each cartoon. I am now thoroughly convinced that the aforementioned sentence should be the new title of Zits. I mean, good grief, how prickish can Jeremy be?
MPB
January 15th, 2008 at 2:21 am [Reply]

Sort of out of the blue, since I’ve never commented before, but I just *had* to share this link, and Comics Curmudgeon seemed like the ideal place.

I don’t know if anyone else has seen this yet, but it’s especially appropriate as this post began with a Garfield shout out:
http://www.lasagnacat.com/
True Fable
January 15th, 2008 at 2:22 am [Reply]

# 79 Mariko – Oh, there’s just no end to the lengths Jeremy will go to be a prick. This kid will grow up to be another Michael Patterson some day, only he won’t write because he’s too lazy for even that. He’ll just sit and live off his parents, and the fools will let him.
Mariko
January 15th, 2008 at 2:29 am [Reply]

#75 SecretMargo–
Tundra? My paper picked that up, too . . . I’m not a big fan.
Mariko
January 15th, 2008 at 2:32 am [Reply]

#81 TrueFable–
Hear, hear. At least Michael gets his bloated sense of entitlement because he’s made an accomplishment, no matter how terrible. Jeremy just wants it because he’s alive. When Calvin would act like that, Hobbes was always there to show us how much of a fool he was being . . . alas, it is not so with Jeremy. The writers seem to think that it’s endearing.
Mariko
January 15th, 2008 at 2:32 am [Reply]

Oops, terribly sorry–I meant to put a space between ‘True’ and ‘Fable.’
SecretMargo
January 15th, 2008 at 2:43 am [Reply]

82: I’m not really either, though I do think it’s intermittently funny. Mostly, it was just so random that Mom was pumped about it that I had to laugh. I think the deal is she misses The Far Side and needs any kind of facsmile she can find (plus, a lot of that comic’s jokes are dark/gross animal humour [some examples], which is something our whole family enjoys), no matter how baldly derivative.
True Fable
January 15th, 2008 at 2:48 am [Reply]

# 84 Mariko – Aw, that’s okay. The line between what is True and what is Fable is kind of blurry sometimes anyway. :-)
Big Sims
January 15th, 2008 at 3:38 am [Reply]

I’ve got to hand it to Gil Thorpe. Making a disabled kid real not some little hero a la Foob’s Sha-non. Andrew is obviously suffering from Marfan’s syndrome, Rickets and Bell’s Palsy, but he’s portrayed as a normal kid; competitive, impetuous, vaguely competent as a photo journalist… in short not someone who’s defined by their physical handicap. It’s refreshing.
Brown-eyed Girl
January 15th, 2008 at 3:48 am [Reply]

Beetle Bailey: “bunny drop soup”? I’m sure more about this can be found on the internet, but I don’t think I really want to know.

FOOB: I suspect that Lynn is using her comic as a vehicle to express her personal angst and ire. Poor Lynn/Elly. I guess her/their life is just a bowl of bunny drop soup.

RMMD. So Niki lifted lifted Lee’s matches. No wonder he’s after them with murder on his mind. Hell hath no fury like a smoker denied his fix.

MW: I like to think the mismatched background in the first panel is a subtle reference to the Mona Lisa. Actaully, I like to think about anything other than the weird random background zombie people that populate Mary Worth.

And congrat to all the COTWers.
ChattyGenes
January 15th, 2008 at 5:03 am [Reply]

#88 Brown Eyed Girl.
What I can’t figure out is what happened to the horizon to the right of Drew. Is he standing at the edge of a cliff??

#75 Secret Margo.
You wrote “When I went back home for Christmas this year, I found out that she a) didn’t really read FOOB much anymore”

*sigh* When I was home for Christmas I talked to my mom about FOOB. I think I said something neutral like, “So, have you been reading ‘For Better or For Worse’?” She said, “Oh yes, I always think it’s interesting what’s happening with the characters–you know, Michael’s book and all.”

Well, that was pretty much the end of our discussion.

Maybe some day she’ll see the light:-)
Big Sims
January 15th, 2008 at 5:12 am [Reply]

Morning ChattyGenes!
You with us this fine day? Have a bowl of “Bunny Drop Soup”! No, really, you’ll offend Cookie if you don’t.

About your mum – perhaps she was trying to spare your feelings? Might she think you still like the strip?
Pinback65
January 15th, 2008 at 5:53 am [Reply]

89 ChattyGenes–I’d also thought perhaps Dr. Drew stood on the edge of a cliff, hopefully about to jump. But then what’s the deal with the guy in the Members Only jacket? Is he standing on a really tall stack of boxes?

Meanwhile, panel two reveals that, since his post-Willow career didn’t turn out as he’d hoped, Warwick Davis became the world’s worst pickpocket.
LardashPWellbottom
January 15th, 2008 at 6:01 am [Reply]

15. Benicillin: Far be it from me to say anything against good Mr. Spock, I’d have to say that in that picture he looks more like Brady Bunch-era Robert Reed than like Rex.
Actor65
January 15th, 2008 at 6:35 am [Reply]

Check out the last panel of “Girls and Sports” for Dec 29, 2007. How deep of a “Deep tissue massage” is going to happen later?
gleeb
January 15th, 2008 at 6:46 am [Reply]

Bizarro: I really hope Piraro doesn’t keep any cats. Poor bastards would be starving on a vegetarian diet.

’shaft: Stop teasing us with plausible set-ups to death, Batiuk. We all know you haven’t got the guts to kill him. (That oughtta do it.)

FBoFW: Waddaya want, incense? Statuary? A feast day in your honor?

‘bean: “Need your help cleaning up”. Not only can’t granny-cheating John cook, he’s too feeble to discard of a cardboard box. This guy’s making Loony Les look good. I hope he gets caught macking on all the band directors’ widows.

GA: Do lettercarriers even have badge numbers?

Parker: “I notice I don’t get a taste of the profits, though.”

Non Sequitur: Yes, surely detachment and lack of communication are the keys to peace. It works for the US and Iran, after all.

Phantom: So, three young women talking about their work. This is The Phantom, not Apartment 3-G! I want action!
Tracer Bullet
January 15th, 2008 at 6:47 am [Reply]

CURTIS: I actually laughed. And it wasn’t even my usual “I laugh at your incompetence with a mixture of scorn and pity” laughing.

FOOB: You know what will age a woman quickly, El? The neverending grind of a daily comic strip. Retire, relax. Take a young lover and move some place warm and exotic. Which for you means Dayton, Ohio.

JP: With all the exclamation points, I like to imagine every conversation in this strip is a screaming argument.

“How long have you been here, Gloria? You incompetent bitch!”
“Longer than I care to remember! You flaming queer!”

MW: Meet me by the fountain. I’ll be disguised as an eggplant.
Saluki
January 15th, 2008 at 6:48 am [Reply]

1-15-08

DTM: Breaking 11 out of 12 eggs – 1 menacing point. Breaking all dozen – 2 menacing points. Flinging all twelve at the neighbors’ windows – 50 menacing points.

MF: Yep, no racists in this country. Pay no attention to the Big Easy. Nothing happening there, move it along.

MW: What kind of area does Vera do her shopping in? It appears that midg.. er I mean “little people” are aggressively panhandling there.

BB: Bunny drop soup! Now that’s just wrong. Isn’t Bunny Beetle’s girlfriend?

Blondie: I think Dagwood has wandered into Vera’s neighborhood.

Crankshaft: Oh man, this is going to be good!

Luann: Is it just me or is that guy Jarrett?

SF: I think Ralph and Sally’s Mom would make a cute couple. At least an interesting one.

Shoe and Edison Lee: This is exactly why I don’t watch TV anymore
John C Fremont
January 15th, 2008 at 6:50 am [Reply]

Congrats all! I was so proud of myself for having kept up on comments this past week, but I missed half of these the first time around. Since it’s still New Year’s Day in A3G time (1963) I’ll make a resolution to read all comments every day. As God is my witness, I’ll never go hungry a- uh, sorry.

# 71 – This one just about killed me. Thanks, AC!

MW – Great. But what I want to know is why that small man is tugging at Vincent Schiavelli. And, apparently, moustachioed Elmer Fudd in the first panel has never seen someone use a cell phone before. “A tewephone you cawwy in yew pocket? That’s cwazy. Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!”

Phantom – “Wear this apron? Well, uh, okay. Bark like a dog? Well, if you insist.” (This goes on for awhile, but it DOES end in a threesome, so it’s worth it.)

JP – I wish Gloria would stop looking so much like Neddy. No, wait – I mean, I wish Gloria would start looking more like underage Neddy. I mean – ah, crap, just get back to Paris already! Or at least give Abbey some more brownies and some Daisy Dukes, fer cryin’ out loud!
ChattyGenes
January 15th, 2008 at 7:02 am [Reply]

#90 Hello Big Sims! Thanks! I tried the Bunny Drop Soup, but found it a bit strange…

As for my mom, the answer is “no,” unfortunately. Two years back, my mom was partly the reason that Poteet and I found CC. Well, Poteet found it and introduced me to it. This was because I asked my mom the same question two years back, and then I started, unwisely, to diss the strip to her. She got angry and huffy, so I shut up. I notified Poteet NOT to diss FBOFW to Mom, and we were left to diss it to each other in emails. Then one day Poteet Googled something like “I hate For Better or For Worse” (I think, anyway, maybe she will clarify this next time she’s online) and found CC.

#91 Pinback. Good point. And your phrase “standing on a really tall stack of boxes” makes me of one of those rather impossible Dr. Seuss illustrations:-)
Brown-eyed Girl
January 15th, 2008 at 7:37 am [Reply]

89. ChattyGenes. I thought maybe Drew was standing on the edge of the ravine Secret Margo spotted, the one Chester (Ralphie, whoever) was hurled into by his owner. And maybe Chesteralphie will claw his way to top of the ravine just as Mary and Tobey meet up with Drew. Mary will force Drew to tend to Chesteralphie, thus making him late to his meeting with Vera, leading to another 4 week long phone fight. Quick Drew, kick the damn dog back into the ravine before Mary sees him!
Inspector Dim
January 15th, 2008 at 7:42 am [Reply]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yELOiYgR2aI

One of the Lasagna Cat spoofs–for Final Fantasy nerds like me! The best part is at the end.
ChattyGenes
January 15th, 2008 at 7:44 am [Reply]

#99 Brown-Eyed Girl. What a scenario!

This may be old news to you all, but I just went over to Coffee Talk and found some deliciously negative letters (dating from January 8). In case you don’t want to sift through the glurge, look for the names Dr. Angela M, Joy Z, and Anonymous. These people are just as disgusted with the Elly “I am old and ugly” storyline as we are.
Godzooky
January 15th, 2008 at 7:57 am [Reply]

#75 SecretMargo: Yes, it’s Lawrence Poirier, son of Connie Poirier, but neither one’s “Who’s Who” page mentions the family tie. The “coming out” sequence does show the relationship and Connie’s bio reveals Lawrence is a half-Brazilian love child (I was wondering about the skin color difference).
Whippersnapper
January 15th, 2008 at 8:10 am [Reply]

A3-G: If this was Margo, the party balloons would soon be complemented by various light fixtures and furniture festooned with the internal organs of both Alan and the other woman. Unfortunately, it’s LuAnn, so all we’ll get is that single, motionless, flesh-colored tear that all the non-Margos of this strip sport when they’re upset.
AhClem
January 15th, 2008 at 8:13 am [Reply]

#99 Brown-eyed Girl,
With all those ravines around Charterstone, you’d think there would be more storylines about fatal plunges and car crashes. Well, one can hope, anyway.
Gregoire
January 15th, 2008 at 8:15 am [Reply]

BB – Bunny is Sgt Carter’s girlfriend. Golllll-ee!
TO
January 15th, 2008 at 8:16 am [Reply]

If you guys want to write about FBOW sucking or how Lynn is out of touch with reality you can. But it’s not fair. It’s really unfair, man. That’s my comic, man and she’s my favorite comic artist. It’s really unfair, man .
Godzooky
January 15th, 2008 at 8:24 am [Reply]

S-M: “Clever gal, my wife…” Not only did she give Pathetic Peter yet another excuse to do nothing, playing hard-to-get puts her in a great negotiating position with Krandis.

Mallard Hatemore: As much as Tinsdale misrepresents it, mainstream news media is doing actual reporting, with sources, facts, statistics. He’s the one just “saying” those facts don’t really exist, maybe because denying racism is easier than doing something about it.

(Well, time to go to work…)
Inspector Dim
January 15th, 2008 at 8:24 am [Reply]

Oh, please. Please, Mary Worth, please bring back the Vera and Drew storyline. I’ve missed it so. The drama! The slapping! The horseback riding! The meddling!

And won’t it be interesting to find out what’s happened to Vera and Drew in the day and a half of strip time since we saw them last? What fun!
Thumb
January 15th, 2008 at 8:32 am [Reply]

46 – “Brooke’s a lascivious old dude. It ain’t Liberty Meadows, but I ‘ll take it. Now if the effing story would just move along…”

There’s a story…?
Calico
January 15th, 2008 at 8:36 am [Reply]

#74 – Sweet sweet rant.

Elly is actually dancing because she’s constipated as well and is too cheap to go out and buy some Senokot or ExLax.
Maybe Gwamps has an old bottle of Sal Hepatica hovering around somewhere, among the family heirlooms and mementos.
Anonymous
January 15th, 2008 at 8:44 am [Reply]

yes fluffy (#46) there are some folks here from the dark days of curmudgeondom.

Ask me if I want a fence done right.
dimestore lipstick
January 15th, 2008 at 8:51 am [Reply]

I think it’s interesting how some of us discuss comics with our moms. On Christmas day, my 70-year-old mom and I had a long discussion on the phone about:
Rex Morgan (Mom thinks it’s a bit “icky” how he took that boy camping),
Mary Worth (Mom doesn’t think she deserves a dog, so she was gloating when Mary got “the call”), and
FOOB (MOM: “Elly’s really turned into a sour old bitch lately, hasn’t she?” and “I’m damned glad I don’t have to spend Christmas with that bunch of selfish pigs!” )

Strange thing to bond over, but Mom and I take anything we can get, when it comes to bonding.
Little Guy
January 15th, 2008 at 8:52 am [Reply]

106: I see what you did. Well played.
man behind the curtain
January 15th, 2008 at 8:55 am [Reply]

LuAnn — So now another week to contemplate the unbelievable attraction that Sgt. York has for LuAnn. If this was real life this attraction would be for one reason and one reason only. And I don’t think the strip is going to go there.
Miz Becki
January 15th, 2008 at 9:01 am [Reply]

SPIT-TAKE FUNNY!
Walk, no, RUN to Over the Hedge for …

RMMD, and other squicky references… heh

I’m serious!
The Divine O’F
January 15th, 2008 at 9:06 am [Reply]

Thanks, Ralph, Poteet, and Obelix. I will always treasure my Scaduto moment.

And now for a small MW snark/rant:
Why Chester is better than Drew
If we MUST have an inane story line (and yes, we must), I would prefer to continue with Chester rather than bringing Drew back. Chester is everything that Drew is not: he’s intelligent, handsome, and charming. He smells better than Drew. He chews up Mary’s prized possessions. He makes Mary bend over to pick up his poop. He piddles on her rug (though to be fair, we can’t rule out Drew doing that also). He is a better conversationalist, and following his story line only bores me; it doesn’t enrage me. So, bring back Chester! Are you listening, Karen Moy?
Tweeks_Coffee
January 15th, 2008 at 9:06 am [Reply]

A3G: I dare you to come up with a plot that could redeem this strip faster than Alan drunkenly smashing all of Luann’s paintings. One that doesn’t involve Margo and a blunt instrument, anyway.
BB: Repeat. Move along.
‘Shaft: I woulda figured he’d just call off and go back home. That’d be far crankier than actually trying to get all the kids.
Curtis: My, but we’re violent today.
DtM: Thankfully the One was emphasized or nobody would’ve gotten this joke.
DT: Correct answer: You load them in your truck without telling the killingest detective in history.
FW: Well, that certainly is a morbid way to say you’re going to be nailing your wife. Nice work, John, nothing brightens a kid’s day like being reminded of their father’s death over pizza.
GT: “Why, we even competed over who could get the most repulsive hair clump curl!” Andrew won, hands down, of course.
Heathcliff: Is…is this a basketball joke? When they’re playing hockey?
MW: Suppose she’s wearing the Kitty Cauldron shirt under there? I like that reject from the Blue Man Group that Drew appears to be jogging with, anyway.
Phantom: Hmmm, is this strip going to be embarking on a commentary about the weak economy?
RMMD: Because, of course, matches will be just fine when they’re soaking wet. Too bad you didn’t grab his shotgun while you were at it, Rex, you coulda saved yourself tons of trouble.
TO
January 15th, 2008 at 9:11 am [Reply]

Little Guy-

Thanks…I’m here all week. Try the veal and don’t forget about your bartenders and waitresses.
Joe
January 15th, 2008 at 9:12 am [Reply]

FOOB: They better *$# appreciate it……..all the wrinkles, bags, etc……..wow SmElly.

Question: Why did you even bother having kids, you frumpy old bitch??
Brown-eyed Girl
January 15th, 2008 at 9:19 am [Reply]

116. The Divine O’F. Bwahahaha! (I really liked your TDIET, btw).

GOOD MORNING EVERYONE. It’s 6am-ish here and I’m going to bed now. Snark quietly, please; I need my beauty sleep.
Anonymous
January 15th, 2008 at 9:19 am [Reply]

I think that Elly must be talking about Apewill.

Her other two offspring are perfect, aren’t they?
Motorposus
January 15th, 2008 at 9:20 am [Reply]

Congrats to man behind the curtain, and runners up!

Hey, Allie Cat—former local gal, yay! I’m a Grady HS graduate. And you? And brb, where are you?

I’ve always felt tenderly towards the AJC, even though they disappoint me a lot. The management has been firing lots of good folks (including Eleanor Ringel Gillespie) and replacing in-house columns with syndicated material. Lately, they’ve been trying to make their headlines hip and cheeky, and have been injecting sarcasm into news pieces (along the lines of ‘governor and legislature cooperate on budget—NOT!’)

But still, there’s Luckovich and some other good folks on board, and I think the ghost of Lewis Grizzard still lingers in the pages. The comics have always been more than decent, even if they do subject us to Night Lights and Pillow Fights on Sundays. Having lived in NC, where I had to read stuff like Mallard Fillmore and Snuffy Smith, I’m damned grateful for the bounty.
Allie Cat
January 15th, 2008 at 9:24 am [Reply]

MW – Is it just me, or do the clothes in the window of the store that Vera is standing in front of look a lot like…maternity wear?

I would LOVE, LOVE, LOVE for Vera to be carrying Drew Corey’s illegitimate baby.

But that’s not going to happen, right?

Because that would mean nine months of exquisite torture that would play out in comic strip time over the next three years.
mere cog in the machine
January 15th, 2008 at 9:25 am [Reply]

Luann: Bernice is beginning to remind me of Olive Hardy in ‘The Bookbag’. Ick.
Allie Cat
January 15th, 2008 at 9:30 am [Reply]

Also #122 – Motorposus – I grew up in the burbs – Roswell, GA – but ended up living and working in Atlanta proper after college.

I can remember where I was when I heard that Lewis Grizzard died. He was the reason I went to J-School at UGA. I thought I wanted to be a writer. And I would still love to be a writer, but I’m awfully fond of paying the mortgage, too.

The Tennessean here in Nashville is one of the worst papers I’ve ever read – for a city this size, it looks amateurish. And that’s a shared sentiment among friends who have lived elsewhere.

There’s a smaller free paper The City Paper, but they only have funnies like “On a Claire Day” and “Sylvia” – and there’s only so much rotting estrogen a person can take.
Calico
January 15th, 2008 at 9:32 am [Reply]

#119 – I think at least with Apehead, it was “Ooops.” Eurgghhh.
Ironic that the two “planned” spawn are total morons.
I want to see April become the next Jacques Cousteau or Jane Goodall, and leave her dopey family in the dust.
Allie Cat
January 15th, 2008 at 9:33 am [Reply]

Also #122 – Motorposus – I grew up in the burbs – Roswell, GA – but ended up living and working in Atlanta proper after college.

I can remember where I was when I heard that Lewis Grizzard died. He was the reason I went to J-School at UGA. I thought I wanted to be a writer. And I would still love to be a writer, but I’m awfully fond of paying the mortgage, too.

They got rid of Eleanor Ringel? We used to sing about her to the tune of Eleanor Rigby: Eleanor Ringel/Hates every movie that ever was made/Needs to get laid.

…but I really liked her writing. That’s a travesty!

The Tennessean here in Nashville is one of the worst papers I’ve ever read – for a city this size, it looks amateurish. And that’s a shared sentiment among friends who have lived elsewhere.

There’s a smaller free paper The City Paper, but they only have funnies like “On a Claire Day” and “Sylvia” – and there’s only so much rotting estrogen a person can take.
Artist formerly known as Ben
January 15th, 2008 at 9:35 am [Reply]

Kudos to the COTWers. Oddly enough I had remembered Darkefang’s comment as coming from Josh hisself, so I stand corrected.

On to 1/15

JP: “We should make this decision together. The new business cards. Ivory cardstock? Or a light mocha?”

Cathy: A funny Cathy? Hint of actual satire? The planets must be aligned just right.

H&L: We have now seen Hi peevishly thinking, “I would so be a good husband to my daughter!” Would that we could unsee it.

Marvin: Marvin is welded to the sidewalk by his own frozen urine. Is this simple parental neglect, or the payoff of some devious plot.

Big Dog: Aaaaaah! Cerberus!

Luann: Ben was so dull the Army plumb forgot to stop loss him.

SFx: Backstory: The ribcage by the lion’s claws belonged to Jane. Tarzan came to avenge his mate, but on meeting his adversary has decided to let bygones be bygones and move on with his life.

Baldo: RuPaul as you’ve never seen him before portrays “Immigrant Basher #2.”

GT: She went out with Andrew Gregory because he was “cute.” In Milford terms, this means both eyes were drawn on the front of his head.

Preteena: Ick. Listen to your flaky friend, Teena.

S-M: Clever gal indeed. Behind every ~~great man~~ ~~good man~~ guy who sometimes wears spandex there’s a smart woman.

MW: “Excuse me a moment, Vera. There’s an ATF agent about to tackle me.”
smackyou
January 15th, 2008 at 9:49 am [Reply]

FW: In a town where half the spouses have succumbed to cancer, is it the best idea to use the term “widow” ironically?
gkl
January 15th, 2008 at 9:51 am [Reply]

MW: Oh Vera, you foolish girl. Don’t you remember how Dr. Drew did you… well, not wrong, precisely… maybe, uh… what exactly was the problem in the first place?

GT: I’m surprised that ‘97′ wasn’t drawn with fangs.

MT: A portage. That’s what this plot is going to come down to. A freakin’ portage!?! I don’t know if you guys have heard, but there are these lovely things called “cities” these days where people can live and get to the police without having to carry a canoe on their backs for quarter-mile stretches.
smacky
January 15th, 2008 at 9:55 am [Reply]

FW: …And it doesn’t even make sense. My school had one band director. So who the hell is he “hosting”? Let’s say the school also has a symphony, so there’s a conductor too (who might be called a band director too). So it will be him and one other person? (#129 was me too. I guess I subliminally altered my name to express my feelings for comic book guy!)
Motorposus
January 15th, 2008 at 10:02 am [Reply]

#127 – Allie Cat – I once met Lewis Grizzard at a party. “Met” isn’t the right word, maybe. My mother dragged me over and told him that I read all his columns and that the one about disco had really cracked me up. I stood there kind of petrified, embarrassed and thrilled. He may have nodded at me. It’s a fond memory.

Love the Ringel/Rigby lyrics and think the entire song needs to be done.

Sylvia still exists? Oy vey. They’ve been running Claire Day here, but I suspect it will go away soon. The drawing style is kind of appealing, but, boy, is that Claire a dullard. She’s the most uncompelling, geriatric 20-something ever. Rotting estrogen indeed!
Anonymous
January 15th, 2008 at 10:30 am [Reply]

But there is more than one high school in the area of the funkyverse.

And all of those schools has a dedicated band director who leaves a spouse home alone alot.

So much so that he/she is seeking a sexual congress with the Comic Book guy.

I think he saw his penis once back in ‘06, but it might have just been a hot dog he dropped.
Calico
January 15th, 2008 at 10:30 am [Reply]

Whatever the hell he means, Batuik doesn’t realize or isn’t stating that the term for a bereaved husband is a “Widower.”

Widow is a tern used for a woman only.
mere cog in the machine
January 15th, 2008 at 10:38 am [Reply]

Baldo: I suppose that the purpose of this strip’s creator in using both a white kid and an african-american kid as the nasty, insensitive bigots was to demonstrate that recently arrived hispanics face discrimination from any and all more entrenched ethic groups, regardless of their history. And I’m sure that is quite true. And yet…….can I be the only one that felt just a little verklempt at seeing those two kids working together? Even if your common goal is bigotry and exclusion, dammit, you can still do it together, regardless of race, creed or color. Say what you will, Sharpton, Jackson, ADF, et al; this proud country HAS made progress! God Bless America!
teenchy
January 15th, 2008 at 10:41 am [Reply]

# 125/127: Another UGa alum on here? Thank my lucky stars! I’ve ended up well farther north than you. however.

Grizzard reminds me of far too many people I went to college with. I actually miss reading Celestine Sibley; she always seemed to me like a character from a Carson McCullers novel.
Tweeks_Coffee
January 15th, 2008 at 10:51 am [Reply]

re: FW: I know it’s very oddly phrased and in poor taste, but it does actually make sense. John is referring to Becky as the “Widowed Band Conductor”. Which is true since Wally bit it, apparently. He’s just making a wry joke about it being a meeting when it’s really only Becky.
mere cog in the machine
January 15th, 2008 at 10:52 am [Reply]

134 Calico: I met a widowed tern once. The poor thing had to forage for food as well as guard the nestlings. She was exhausted!
Artist formerly known as Ben
January 15th, 2008 at 10:57 am [Reply]

#134 Calico,
To give CBJ the benefit of the doubt–and o how much benefit he needs–he may be the only man in this odd grouping of band directors’ spouses. If it’s predominantly female, he may see “Widow’s Club” as appropriate.
Anonymous
January 15th, 2008 at 11:00 am [Reply]

Comic Book Guy is looking forward to a good jerk from a two handed partner.
Calico
January 15th, 2008 at 11:15 am [Reply]

#138 and #139 – A “tern” (as I wrote) for the worst!

Quack – Aaaahhhh!

Thanks for the info-interesting! : )
Darkefang
January 15th, 2008 at 11:27 am [Reply]

A3G: Worst excuse ever.

Crankshaft: Haw-Haw! Crank’s going to kill a schoolbus-load of children!

FC: Well Jeffy, only your cheeks and nose are black with frostbite, so no, you aren’t cold enough yet. Go back outside until you’ve at least lost a toe or two.

Foob: You’re bitter about getting older. Got it.

GT: Skull crushed by steamroller + greasy curl = cute in the Gil Thorpe universe

JP: “We’ve been together a long time, haven’t we Gloria? …you were my first partner in this firm.”

Note to self: Do not touch Randy’s desk. Actually, don’t touch anything in Randy’s office.

MT: Maybe after he’s had his surgery and Mark Trail is dead, she’ll be able to have the surgery that makes her face look less like stretched-out silly putty.

MW: “I was wondering if we could meet somewhere.”

Oh, and wear something purple.

Phantom: We’ve gone from petty vandalism to people having boring conversations while they drink coffee. The Phantom has degenerated from just merely boring into a Coleman Francis movie.

RMMD: The way Rex is desperately searching those jugs for moonshine, I’m beginning to think that he had an ulterior motive for carrying all that rubbing alcohol around in his medical bag.
Mibbitmaker
January 15th, 2008 at 11:35 am [Reply]

#135 (cog): Big deal. Archie Bunker and Henry (not George) Jefferson did essentially the same thing c. 1973 (I say, having not read the Baldo strips in question). Of course, those two didn’t care too much for each others’ race, so I guess that is something (such as it is).

FW: Knowing this strip, “widow” is meant literally.

Zits: Not to defend Jeremy, but Sara has often had little regard for Jeremy (or, sometimes, his entire gender) in the past, so it does make sense. It also makes sense that she’s fine with it, but also that Jer would feel slighted by Sara’s indifference. But, hey, wasn’t I the one mocking Jer for cheating on Sara before?….

S-M: Yeah, we all figured that out a couple strips ago already, genius.

FC: “If all your body parts are still attatched to you, then the answer is ‘no’!”

FOOB: Well, don’t go holding your breath waiting for Tom Brokaw to write a book about you two ladies, is all I’m saying.

A3G: Alan Cadd over there, transparently covering up his romantic treachery (maybe two treacheries). A man after Bill Clinton’s heart.

N-S: Lessee… an unfair, blatant analogy for Bill O’Reilly? An obviously contrived cheap shot at Dubya, currently in the Middle East? No… left-wing hero Mr. Pyle seems to like the idea. A shot at no-more-intollerant-of-opposing-opinion-than-right-wingers-left-wingers? No, this is N-S, not MF. Maybe Pyle now works in the same office as Mallard. THAT would explain it!

GT: Last panel FonzieSquiggy: “How dare my woman not be less smart than me!!” How can she not?

Blondie: Is Tinsley ghost-writing this today? Shut up, Bruce!

H&L: “I want to marry someone jusy like Daddy: a verbal punching bag.” That, plus the fact that she sounds like Liz Patterson….EEEWWWWW!!!
Darkefang
January 15th, 2008 at 11:37 am [Reply]

#128 Artist Formerly Known as Ben:

“Kudos to the COTWers. Oddly enough I had remembered Darkefang’s comment as coming from Josh hisself, so I stand corrected.”

Thanks. Being mistaken for the proprietor of the site is one of the best compliments you can receive.
aquagirl3
January 15th, 2008 at 11:41 am [Reply]

Am I the only one who really, really hates Bernice??? She is SUCH a bitch! I don’t understand how Luann can be friends with her! God. She comes over and sits in Luann’s bedroom and insults her, and makes intolerable snide comments about her, and then tries to cockblock her every move with her brother she wants to hump. (BERNICE wants to.) I hate her more than ANYONE else on the comics page these days. Except the Lockhorns.
J.S.
January 15th, 2008 at 11:49 am [Reply]

In today’s Apt. 3-G, Alan’s nose is actually growing as he tells a lie! I guess he’s not a real boy.
your father isn't mr. cohen
January 15th, 2008 at 11:49 am [Reply]

RMMD: I can’t even think of a good snarky reason why Niki would look so horrified at being asked to look for paper.

MT: I think that soon we will soon see the disturbing sight of Mark Trail punching a woman in the face. A woman who doesn’t have even the slightest bit of facial hair.
queek
January 15th, 2008 at 12:22 pm [Reply]

58: love the second row, on the right. Ed Power, as Norm, rocking the Scaduto out of a sweater vest. *two thumbs up*
Niall
January 15th, 2008 at 12:35 pm [Reply]

Bleary sick-recovering Tuesday

A3G: Alan, on behalf of men everywhere, being drunk is no excuse. Enjoy the gonad-kicking you deserve.

Archie: With flavouring powders, that idea is eminently feasible. Still wouldn’t make a good idea, but since when are good ideas the wole basis for putting a product on shelves?

BC: Ooo, zing and pwned!

BB: …ewwwwww!

Curtis: Ewwww and that’s not a topic to make fun of!

DtM: Okay, I’m scrolling down slowly, and decided to not see the text, just the image, and make up my own Far-More-Menacing text…

Panel 1: “Hey Mom, I figured out what ‘egged on’ means!
Panel 2: “It’s when you crush an egg in their face! Wanna see?”

..yup, more menacing.

DT: AUUUGH the obvious line done straight! It hurts! Make it stoooop!

EC: Yup, bellydancing as “only for women”. Mind you, it’s fairly standard in North America, but I was only hoping. :) (If I want to take classes, I have to ask first if they take male students. Sometimes you have muslim women taking the classes, which rather understandably prohibits male students. Other places do it as a way to build confidence for abused women about their bodies – another understandable reason.)

F-: Actually funny.

H7L: Ewww ewww ewww ewww this strip is getting wronger by the week

MC: Okay, now I want to know – are humans real or mythical in this universe? :) And nice setup, though predictable. I’ll see if there’s a good twist there. Also: Jim Rat the gym rat is freaking glorious in obviousness. :)

PBS: Funny, but not for a third time unless there’s a twist.

Phantom: Wait, there’s direct continuity, not a panel of recap anymore? This makes for panel 1 seem like the waitress is saying that police work is more exciting in an apron…

RM: Why is Niki horrified at thew thought of looking for paper? Did he get too many cuts as a toddler and has paperphobia?
Honeypot
January 15th, 2008 at 12:41 pm [Reply]

Hi all – first time commenting here, but I couldn’t resist.

I think Nikki is trying really, really hard not to say “I told you so” since Rex wouldn’t let him slash the guys tires before they left the cabin. They could have stayed semi-comfortably in the car until morning.

How long will it be before Lee limps to the cabin with that enormo-gun he had hidden under the bed? Nice call, Rex. You could learn something from Nikki besides what a firm young body feels like.

Thank you all for making this something I actually think about. Pfft.
Virginia
January 15th, 2008 at 12:47 pm [Reply]

aquagirl13: No, you’re not the only one. Bernice is an awful, awful, friend. Never has anything nice to say about or to Luann (which, I can understand could be difficult, but you think after so long she could keep her mouth shut), and brings her brother over KNOWING he and Luann are going to talk over her, than pouts. Just an awful person. WE are better.

GT: I think the defining moment of Andrew’s bent to beat his girlfriend (competitively) is shown in the last panel. I have never seen such anger, such determined crushing of a test paper. I’m pretty sure this is the day he bought that damn video camera.

MW: The part of Vera will be played by Grimace.

Oh, Josh? I think it’s supposed to say “Monday’s COTW day,” not “Monday COTW day,” but I could be just a nitpicker here.

And congrats to man behind the curtain and all the COTW runners-up! I was once a runner-up, so I know the warm, fuzzy feeling inside. Some of these I missed before too, so it was great reading of Mr. Lodge’s hobbies and the musings of A3G
Kent the Dent Fairy
January 15th, 2008 at 12:50 pm [Reply]

# 123 Allie Cate re: MW My thoughts exactly, bring on the unwed mother storyline, Moy!
man behind the curtain
January 15th, 2008 at 12:51 pm [Reply]

MW — Vera wants to meet drew for another Charterstone intervention to cure him of his womanizing. Mary will be providing the tuna casserole and a sharp knife.
yerwoodman
January 15th, 2008 at 12:53 pm [Reply]

RMMD: I guess Darling Nikki had sticky fingers after all…wocka wocka wocka…it’s a shame he’s going to have to put his booty to work right there in the cabin instead of savingit for later…thank you, ladies and germs…
man behind the curtain
January 15th, 2008 at 12:57 pm [Reply]

#123 Allie Cat — I can see the unwed mother story but not Dr. Drew’s spawn. I predict in 9 months we will see the result — a bouncing baby centaur. Vera always seemed to enjoy her time with the horses a little too much.
Marthas Rolling Pin
January 15th, 2008 at 1:19 pm [Reply]

#115 Miz Becki: Ya beat me to it! The rest of y’all, heed her sage advice, and head on over to check out RMMD’s mash note to RJ . Day in and day out, OTH is one of the best strips going.
Uncle Lumpy
January 15th, 2008 at 1:32 pm [Reply]

Hey waitaminute! Is that woman having coffee with the waitress and the cop in The Phantom Diana Palmer, Mrs. Ghost-Who-Walks?

Or is it just (ol’ brunette-misidentifyin’) me?
Non-Shannon
January 15th, 2008 at 1:34 pm [Reply]

Re: #147 Your father isn’t Mr. Cohen

“Well I never thought he was!”
*slap*
“I’ll have none of your cheek!”

Best Monty Python movie of all, IMHO.
Mountain Mama
January 15th, 2008 at 1:36 pm [Reply]

Welcome, Honeypot. It has just begun. You’ll find yourself caring about so many things, like bee grinding, Galatic Emperors, and popcorn.
commodorejohn
January 15th, 2008 at 1:43 pm [Reply]

9CL – Oh, I see now, we’re supposed to look up to Juliet for being a horrible bitch because nobody cares about her victim anyway! How charming!

Crankshaft – See, this kind of thing could be really entertaining, but with Batiuk and the wheel it’ll just work out boring and condescending in the end.

DT – AHH WHAT THE HELL IS WITH DICK IN THE FINAL PANEL

FOOB – Oh, of course, it all comes down to congratulating ElLynn for doing what EVERY OTHER HALFWAY DECENT PARENT IN FUCKING HISTORY HAS DONE WITHOUT EXPECTING PRAISE. God almighty, would someone ship this woman off to Somalia so she can experience some REAL HARDSHIP already?

FW – Is this Funky Winkerbean in a nutshell, or is this Funky Winkerbean in a nutshell?

Marmaduke – It’s rare to see so many unnecessary words used outside of Mary Worth.

MW – The Michelin Woman!

RMMD – Wow! Now they can die of exposure because Rex was stupid enough to take them out in a heavy rainstorm! This is what BB/BS is all about!
Sal Paradise
January 15th, 2008 at 1:52 pm [Reply]

MW : I’ve definitely missed Dr. Drew, the man who dares to take a woman on 2 dates and not marry her!
Skullturf Q. Beavispants
January 15th, 2008 at 1:52 pm [Reply]

Tuesday’s Between Friends mentions my hockey team! Woo-hoo! (And their circa 1978 to 1982 jersey, which admittedly was pretty ugly, albeit in an interesting way.)
Solocardate
January 15th, 2008 at 1:58 pm [Reply]

MW: I’m hoping that Moy & Giella will receive some sort of award for their fearless willingness, even in the face of constant discrimination, to provide gainful employment to homunculi.

GA: Panel two wastes a fine opportunity for the mailman to sneer, “Badges? I don’t have to show you no steenking badges!”
Sal Paradise
January 15th, 2008 at 1:58 pm [Reply]

GT : Apparently, their competitiveness even extended to “who can have the manliest haircut?”
bats :[
January 15th, 2008 at 1:58 pm [Reply]

MW: I’m speculating that Vera wants to have some closure with Drew, that she’s taken up with the Phantom (hence the purple ensemble). Drew will be devastated, but she throws him a final bone by flashing her stripey purple-and-black bikini underwear at him.
Gloria
January 15th, 2008 at 1:58 pm [Reply]

Josh, I don’t suppose you read “Over the Hedge” (it’s not carried in very many papers), but the strip for the 15th made me think of you: http://www.unitedmedia.com/comics/hedge/archive/hedge-20080115.html
Marthas Rolling Pin
January 15th, 2008 at 1:59 pm [Reply]

Any news yet on casualties from the horrific accident in GT, where the bus knocked the Milford Gym off its foundation?
brb
January 15th, 2008 at 2:00 pm [Reply]

#79, #81 Zits You know, Jeremy doesn’t really bother me – in fact, Zits may be the daily strip that I relate to my life most frequently, having a teenager at home. This isn’t a soap opera strip – I don’t think Jeremy is supposed to be a realistic and balanced portrayal. Think of it as vaudeville – over the top, taking everyday characteristics, isolating and exaggerating them to get a laugh.

Teenagers (at least mine) cycle through cluelessness, sweetness, narcissism and a dozen other traits, while we pound on them molding them into responsible adults. I thought yesterday’s Zits was right on target, with the teenager who wanted to talk, but didn’t want to acknowledge wanting to talk, if that makes any sense.

#122 Motorposus I grew up in the wilderness of southwest Georgia. Came up here to go to school 30 years ago and never left. Been reading the Constitution in the morning since I learned to read – it’s been going downhill for a long time.

I was thinking the other day that they’ve done a good job of rotating in new comics. We’ve got PBS and Lio. Dog eat Doug and Inkpen are fairly recent also. The only daily strip I’ve trained myself to skip over is Cathy. I’ve never understood the point of Night Lights and Pillow Fights, however. And, somewhat shamefaced, I’ll admit that I’ve continued to read Brenda Starr online after the AJC dropped it.

As a Georgia Tech graduate, I’ll have to say that Grizzard irritated me as much as he amused me.
LTBF
January 15th, 2008 at 2:08 pm [Reply]

If Elly is supposed to be a window into Lynn Johnson’s soul, I can see why her husband took up with somebody else. After years of whing about how old and fat she is getting he finally believed her and found a younger, sleeker model.

When the Phantom was going after the family kidnapped on the boat, I didn’t think the storyline could get any worse. I was proven wrong by the girl doing grafitti art of him. I thought that was the worst. After just a few days, i seem to be getting proven wrong again. Will the Phantom put the skull mark on that evil white jaywalker?

Yo, lady, Iever hear of diplomatic immunity? Stick that ticket in your ear.
Johnny Cat
January 15th, 2008 at 2:10 pm [Reply]

Keanu Reeves wasn’t in Youngblood. That was Rob Lowe. Had to say it.
Poteet
January 15th, 2008 at 2:12 pm [Reply]

# 98 — Yep, ChattyGenes, that’s the story. Though I think I might have Googled something less polite, like “For Better Or For Worse really sucks.” I mostly did it because I was so annoyed by the “Princess Allure, no man can resist her!” storylines about Liz. But once I arrived here, it became clear that there were other annoying things about Foob that I hadn’t noticed, or, more likely, had been desperately trying to ignore. Now I revel in noticing them. And when I realized that folks here also snarked hilariously about the ridiculous storylines in the drama strips…sniff…well, I just knew you needed to be invited to this blessed plot, this earth, this realm, this Mudgeland.
Dick, the Doorbell
January 15th, 2008 at 2:29 pm [Reply]

Today, the widow Malone is played by special guest villain Natasha Nogoodnik.
Tonio
January 15th, 2008 at 2:34 pm [Reply]

Tracer Bullet,

Funny! Do you suppose Barreto has tried to clue in Wilson to the fact that modern presses can now reliably reproduce periods?
True Fable
January 15th, 2008 at 2:34 pm [Reply]

Ah, the Atlanta Urinal-Constipation! Many a morning I threw my back out lifting it so I could toss out the ads and get to the five or six pages of actual news.

I only see it once in a while now but yes, it still has a pretty decent comic strip lineup. It’s much better than the Greater Metropolitan Roopville Daily Fishwrap, which runs ALL the comics I hate most, and leaves out ALL the comics I enjoy most.

Bastards! Sick, twisted bastards!

:-)
Non-Shannon
January 15th, 2008 at 2:36 pm [Reply]

Expectorating Snuffy Smith?

Sometimes, the Onion really slays me.
Moss_Moses
January 15th, 2008 at 2:45 pm [Reply]

Smoke signals may not be the best way to elude a deranged killer hunting you down, Rex.

Luke Wilson spilled his guts to Mark Trail because he thought he was dying? Since when does that matter? Cow Malone, Bull’s widow, now looks like Sam Hills with evil arched eyebrows.
Uncle Lumpy
January 15th, 2008 at 2:49 pm [Reply]

“The eyes! They are everywhere!
yerwoodman
January 15th, 2008 at 2:51 pm [Reply]

170: Keanu was (of all things) the goalie in Youngblood, didn’t have much screen time, may have been affecting a reeedeeculus Quebecoise accent….
MJ1066
January 15th, 2008 at 2:52 pm [Reply]

#145 aquagirl: No, you’re not the only person who dislikes Bernice. I detest her, too. Bernice is one of my least favorite comic strip characters. She reminds me of my emotionally abusive former classmate Cubbi-Wubbi who I described in the September 27, 2007 Thursday quickies thread, post #180, and the August 18, 2007 Three for Saturday thread, post #209.

As I explained in my previous posts, I have grown a backbone since my high school years. Cubbi-Wubbi found my e-mail address on an alumni Web site, but I harshly refused to give her my street address or any other information that would enable her to find me. I wish that Luann would grow a backbone and learn to be harsh with Bernice. I would like to see Luann scream “Don’t talk to me like that! You’re a lousy excuse for a friend! Get out of my house!” at Bernice. It would be nice to see Bernice run home sobbing and cry herself sick because her inordinately high self-esteem had been challenged. Bernice’s ego needs to be deflated. She is committing the sin of pride, and she deserves to be reprimanded.
Motorposus
January 15th, 2008 at 2:58 pm [Reply]

#168, brb – My mother still pines for Brenda Starr, and holds me personally responsible for it getting the boot because I voted for Mary Worth instead. I guess I hate myself for that too.

#174, True Fable – The Urinal-Constipation is every bit as good as the Oral-Groanian.
mere cog in the machine
January 15th, 2008 at 2:58 pm [Reply]

179: The only thing remotely appealing about Bernice is her painfully obvious desire to jump her brother’s bones. And that is appealing only from a clinical standpoint, I assure you.
LTBF
January 15th, 2008 at 2:58 pm [Reply]

I don’t mind Bernice. She’s the only one keeping LuAnn from becoming an insufferable snot. But her brother storyline continues to disgust me. Her parents had him when they were in college, so he has to be about ten years older then Luann, who is at most 16.

BTW, why didn’t we get to see Brad fight fires in San Diego?

As for a character I despise, its Sally Forth’s officemate Alice.
Lindsey
January 15th, 2008 at 3:05 pm [Reply]

Doesn’t anyone fight it slightly ironic after yesterday’s FOOB where Elly berates and makes her sun cry that today’s she’s going on about what a great mother she was and how she raised great children? Half of the flashbacks that I have read feature her making Michael cry or scaring the living daylights out of him. Great job, Elly >_>
mere cog in the machine
January 15th, 2008 at 3:10 pm [Reply]

I’m guessing that in a “Most Despised Comic Character” poll of curmudgeonites, the clear winner would be Michael Patterson; followed by 3 or 4 more Pattersons, in no particular order. Mallard Fillmore is disqualified because Bruce Tinsley is a mouth-breathing drunkard who couldn’t find his moral compass with both hands and a King James bible.
Perky Bird
January 15th, 2008 at 3:12 pm [Reply]

#182–

Yeah, why didn’t we see Brad fight fires in San Diego? Where did he find the time, between having TJ prepare meals for Toni that he (Brad) claimed were his own creations, the Christmas house-decorating extravaganza, the thrilling charity food drive competition, and dressing up like a creepy Santa Claus?
True Fable
January 15th, 2008 at 3:15 pm [Reply]

# 183 Lindsey – See # 74 and be sure to wear your Rant-Guard. :-)

And, add me to the I-Say-Bernice-Is-A-Bitch contingent. I’ve been wailing that for quite a while now. I mean, WHO stays friends with someone like that, and why? I mean besides the obvious “so Luann will have a better chance to jump Ben’s bones”, there’s just no way I would want such a hyper-critical, superior-acting, pessimistic Fucktard coming over to hang out at my house, eat my goat cheese and put me down at every turn.

I think the reason Delta is still friends with them, is that she doesn’t hang around with them all the time. She can tolerate them during school hours and once or twice at some function where lots of other people are involved in order to diffuse the insufferable quotent, but any more than that and she’d run screaming into the night.
LTBF
January 15th, 2008 at 3:16 pm [Reply]

Well if we’re going to have a most despised discussion, I think it would be better to throw out the obvious picks. I mean, we all hate the entire Patterson clan. My most despised there is Liz.
LTBF
January 15th, 2008 at 3:19 pm [Reply]

Delta doesn’t hang around because LuAnn and Bernice are bigots. They keep her as part of their group to make people think they are open minded and liberal, but they wouldn’t dream of allowing her in their inner circle. They will pretend to be Obama fans to look hip, but really they want Hilary to win.
Tweeks_Coffee
January 15th, 2008 at 3:29 pm [Reply]

Don’t forget Assthony, I’m sure he’d grab quite a few votes from the Patterson clan.

As for me; I think I’d have to say that my most despised comic character is Cathy. I don’t really know why, I don’t even read it anymore. Maybe it’s because she always makes a huge fuss when the biggest problem in her life is that some dress doesn’t fit her. That doesn’t mean I want it to become more realistic (a la FW), I just don’t want to read it. To me it’s like reading those damned tabloids at the checkout. Nothing could interest me less or irritate me more than hearing all about other people’s petty problems. People that I’ve never met, none the less.
F. Cecious Lee
January 15th, 2008 at 3:31 pm [Reply]

#168 BRB

I was probably at the North Ave Trade School when you where (77-81). But I moved away after graduation, then back for a few years (95-2000) then away again.

Lewis Grizzard made a big deal about his dislike of airplanes. My roommate called him once to invite him to a Tech flying club event. Grizzard thanked him, but declined with “If god had meant for man to fly he wouldn’t have invented the rental car with unlimited milage:.
True Fable
January 15th, 2008 at 3:38 pm [Reply]

Fable’s List of Most Hated Comics Characters

Elly-Michael-Liz-Dee-Iris-Merrie-Robin-John-and once in a while April from Gods of the Great White North.

Jeremy from I Was A Teenage Hellspawn

Stick from Nice Girl Wrapped Up In Losers

Sylvia from Every Day Looks Like Shit

Ed Crankshaft from Grouchy Old Bastard

Ian Cameron from Meddlin’ With the Oldies

The Keane Family from Misshapen Freaks with Clueless Lives

Amos from Wethered Males of Dickweed Lane Runner up: Juliette “ball buster” Tightass.

Cathy from Die Already Goddammit
LTBF
January 15th, 2008 at 3:40 pm [Reply]

132-Grizzard was likely plastered when you met him, that may have been the reason for the blank stare.

God, i miss that man. Its a shame he didn’t live to see the Braves win the World Series.
mere cog in the machine
January 15th, 2008 at 3:46 pm [Reply]

191: True Fable, you are ON.
teenchy
January 15th, 2008 at 3:52 pm [Reply]

## 168, 190: As a Georgia Tech graduate, I’ll have to say that Grizzard irritated me as much as he amused me.

I can see where he would have.
Loopina
January 15th, 2008 at 3:56 pm [Reply]

Baldo: I forget – is Baldo’s friend Hector also supposed to be hispanic?
Little Guy
January 15th, 2008 at 4:01 pm [Reply]

184: Personally, Dr Julii and her spawn and her moo-mom tops the Pattersons at the moment.

Baldo: Yay! He’s going to jump on top of a cafeteria table, talk for two weeks, and cure the world of all its ills!

Watch Your Head: Yay! He’s going to jump on top of a cafeteria table, talk for two weeks, and cure the world of all its ills!

MT: Yay! She’s going to jump on top of a cafeteria table, beat the crap out of Mark, and cure the world of all its ills!
mere cog in the machine
January 15th, 2008 at 4:05 pm [Reply]

195 Loopina: Unless he’s a Trojan, it’s probably safe to assume he’s hispanic.
Loopina
January 15th, 2008 at 4:12 pm [Reply]

Most hated: Anthony Caine, no contest. He’s limp, pasty, insincere, manipulative, smarmy, unattractive, neglectful (to daughter/wife), perfidious, self-satisfied, and, um, grody. And he has freckles.

(puts thesaurus away)

Cathy’s a close second. Just for sheer obnoxiousness.
Loopina
January 15th, 2008 at 4:15 pm [Reply]

Cog: You mean like the condom? I’m pretty sure he’s not one of those. Ziggy, now, he looks like a condom. Or one of those ghosts you make with a Tootsie Pop and a kleenex.
Motorposus
January 15th, 2008 at 4:17 pm [Reply]

Foob – Since most people who live long enough wind up with wrinkles and upper-arm dingle-dangle, it’s infuriating to think that some of them are getting it for free. Childless freeloaders!
mere cog in the machine
January 15th, 2008 at 4:21 pm [Reply]

Gus was a friendly ghost!
Mountain Mama
January 15th, 2008 at 4:24 pm [Reply]

This discussion is very apt for me right now. I finally got caught up with my on line comics reading and with Sunday’s MW in mind, I can say to you all, without compunction:

I fuckin’ hate Mary Worth.
Poteet
January 15th, 2008 at 4:29 pm [Reply]

Most hated — I can’t make a meaningful list because my Hate Generator automatically aims itself at the most recent offenders. As soon as the Michael-the-great-writer theme resumes, he’ll be number one again, but for now, he’s not in the immediate line of fire. He’s definitely been high on my hit list quite often, though, as has Liz.

As for Luann, I really wish her whole gang would be sent off to college. Then Luann could whine about her love life in a setting other than her bedroom, and I’d be a little less bored by it.
Niall
January 15th, 2008 at 4:33 pm [Reply]

58. Little Guy’s link led me to the Toronto Star’s comics section, which, like many Canadian papers’ websites, have comics about 6 weeks prior online than print. But it gave me a chance to check out a week’s worth of Mandrake the Magician strips. Verdict: he does more in one week than the Phantom in a bloody year. Also, how can you hypnotize people behind their back? That’s not a “hypnotic” gesture, it’s magic in the sense of Dr. strange. Clever disguise!

69. Alt. Comix: I had to look far too closely at that still to realise what you meant. And managed not to burst out laughing while at work. Bravo!

71. Alt Comix: these strips just rewrite themselves, don’t they?

98. ChattyGenes: so that means we readers are all quite indebted to your mother for bringing you and Poteet to these pages and regaling us with mirth, intelligence and creativity for two years! …no, I’m serious.

135. mere cog: Reading the Will Eisner graphic novel “Dropsie Avenue” gave me an excellent historical view of how indeed, everyone will band together against the latest new ethnic arrival in the neighbourhood, all past sins forgotten. Is this all we are? Sad, really. Oh, and this time, your use of sarcasm was better polished and more visible. :) So you’re better at it with more words than fewer… kinda like me.

150. Honeypot: welcome! Nice choice of name, tribute to recent threads. :) And yes, even I keep thinking about that in RMMD. Sigh.

167. Marthas Rolling Pin: oh beautiful!! Well done!

I’ve been fairly amused by all the descriptions of Vera in her outfit.

On the Phantom, the first week had more action than the whole graffiti storyline, and we’re getting the Phantom’s Wife. Maybe we’ll actually see what she does? Other than she looks exactly the same as when I was a kid. I always thought if I read the strip long enough, I’d get to live to see a New Phantom passing-of-the-striped-butt. Yet he still doesn’t have a kid. What would happen if he had a daughter? If the Ghost who Walks developes rather pronounced chest bumps and the stripes flatter the butt in a subtly different way, the natives might notice… the truants would definitely notice. Then they’d beg to be captured, unh-hunh, unh-hunh.
Poteet
January 15th, 2008 at 4:35 pm [Reply]

# 200 — Yep, that’s me, motorposus. Childless and still aging, har. I do believe Elly’s trumpet-playing brother and his wife Georgia are also childless, and that may be one reason why we seldom see them except when Gwampa has another major health setback. They’re off somewhere doing what all us childless people do — partying up a storm and contributing as little to society as humanly possible. Whee!
Mountain Mama
January 15th, 2008 at 4:41 pm [Reply]

Poteet! You and me, baby! It’s never too late to have a happy childhood.

Mountain “also childless and aging” Mama
Poteet
January 15th, 2008 at 4:42 pm [Reply]

# 202 — Mountain Mama, I shared your reaction to that Sunday MW strip. But I have a feeling that you and I are reacting just the way Moy and Giella intended. I envision them smugifying Mary together and adding the squirrel, and then Moy gleefully says to Giella, “Ha, this will really make steam come out of their ears!” “Their” meaning us Mudges. I feel flattered and manipulated at the same time, and I kind of like it. How embarrassing.
LTBF
January 15th, 2008 at 4:44 pm [Reply]

204-The Phantom and his wife are the parents of twins, Kit and Heloise. The last time they appeared, they looked to be around 12 years old, although they would be much older in “real” time.

I would also love to see a new Phantom. They mak such a big deal about his legacy and line of sucession, yet the same guy has been Phantom since the strip debuted, I believe.
Poteet
January 15th, 2008 at 4:44 pm [Reply]

# 204 — Oh, Niall, how very kind…*scuffs shoe and blushes*
Loopina
January 15th, 2008 at 4:46 pm [Reply]

I dunno. I kind of liked the Sunday MW, if only because it looked like she was about to burst into song, old-school Disney style. All the weird angular dogs would join in, and it woulda been magic.

(also childless and aging – not *old* yet, I’m only 29 and 5/3. But already past the age where having a child will reduce my tendancy to develop breast cancer).
commodorejohn
January 15th, 2008 at 4:48 pm [Reply]

Most hated comics characters? Oh boy, let me try:

#1 Elly Patterson/Lynn Johnston – They’re one and the same: a jaw-droppingly vain, self-absorbed, xenophobic, grudge-holdingly bitter old hag who firmly believes that the entire world and everyone in it exist to glorify her for her innate worthiness. Hates any man with a functioning penis.

#2 Michael “I’M SPECIAL!” Patterson – You know that one kid in elementary school who always got anything and everything he wanted because his parents were made of money? Imagine if his parents controlled the universe. Favored by the Gods, inordinately successful given his absurd lack of talent, has a wife to bear his children and do all the hard parts of raising them and taking care of him, but still somehow sees himself as put-upon.

#3 Anthony “Fishface” Caine – Horrible and loathsome, but also favored by Goddess Lynn. Got married to a woman he didn’t love and spent his entire goddamn marriage mooning after an old flame, badgered his wife into having a child she didn’t want on the condition that he’d take care of the kid, then tried to welch on that, hit on his ex-girlfriend minutes after she had nearly been raped only to find out that *surprise!* his wife was cheating on him (no doubt she got tired of looking at his auto-boner every time the subject of Liz came up.) And we’re supposed to admire him.

#4 Liz Patterson – Mostly just vapid and boring, a puppet with only the personality instilled at her mother’s whim, but has a tendency to demand that the world revolve around her and is one half of the ultimately loathsome Lizthony pairing, so she’s fully deserving of a spot on the list.

#5 Dee Patterson – Should be stabbing Michael in his sleep but isn’t.

#6 Juliet Burber – Horrible acid bitch who needs to have some humble smacked into her.

#7 Edison Lee – Profoundly unfunny parrot for John Hambrock’s ill-reasoned and poorly-argued political views. Has nearly as much smug self-righteousness in his can as Elly Patterson. The bastard lovechild of an unholy union between Calvin and Oliver Wendell Jones.

#8 The entire cast of Luann – Shallow, unlikeable non-characters.

#9 The entire cast of The Family Circus – JUST SHUT THE HELL UP ALREADY DAMN YOU

#10 Sam Driver – HAVE SEX WITH YOUR WIFE GODDAMMIT
Poteet
January 15th, 2008 at 4:49 pm [Reply]

# 204 & # 208, Niall and LTBF — The Phantom has a wife?! And teenage twins?! I shall now step away from the screen and try to come to terms with this…
Uncle Lumpy
January 15th, 2008 at 4:53 pm [Reply]

#208 LTBF –

I am not alone in hoping the new Phantom is Heloise:

One

Two
Mr. O'Malley
January 15th, 2008 at 5:03 pm [Reply]

I’ve been away, and I haven’t had time to catch up yet. With the comics, I mean. Probably I’ll never be able to catch up with the comments.

But it’s that this has probably not been posted already:

Martha Arguello – Bobby Sox, Emmy Lou cartoonist dies

There were very few women cartoonists around when she started.
Gold-Digging Nanny
January 15th, 2008 at 5:06 pm [Reply]

I see Sir Integra Wingates Hellsing is slumming in 9 Chickweed Lane this week.
Gregoire
January 15th, 2008 at 5:11 pm [Reply]

213 – the “ghostest-with-the-mostest!” something about her reminds me of Judge Parker…
Niall
January 15th, 2008 at 5:11 pm [Reply]

208. LTBF: Kit and Heloise. You know, I now remember them, but geez, you’d think they’d show them more often. They were probably 8 or so when I saw them last (in my childhood), so maybe soon after I die of a ripe old age, they’ll have the Succession… Though by now, he should start training them, no? Now that could make for interesting stories!

212. Poteet: The Phantom’s wife is shown this week, the part of the ~~threesome~~ trio without an apparent, uniform-wearing job.

213. Uncle Lumpy: Yowza indeed! Thank you for unearthing that! Nice to see it’s a canon possibility – with actual art to support it. (But what supports them, I wonder.. ahem.) :)
Mordock999
January 15th, 2008 at 5:18 pm [Reply]

“What comic strip character do I despise the most?”
Gee let me think. Oh yeah, TJ (Luann)! He a POS. Hated him ever since the time he suckered Brad into “borrowing” the family car and going on a gambling trip together. They actually won a lot of money. A million bucks as I recall. Unfortunately “genius” TJ didn’t figure out how to get around the “age” issue and they forfeited the money because they were under 21. To add insult to injury TJ left Brad alone to face an angry Papa DeGroot; exiting stage right, with a cheery “Well, gotta run!” TJ. I HATE Him!!

Oh by the way, in a future strip Ben will meet Toni at (YET ANOTHER) Charity drive, fall in love and piss off Luann and Brad. Thought you’d like to know…,

_________

DEATH to TJ!
brb
January 15th, 2008 at 5:24 pm [Reply]

#190 – 1977 to 1981 were the years to be there.

On a dare, I called Grizzard on a talk show once to harass him about a crack he made in his column about my hometown. He handled it well.

#204 – IIRC, Diana works at/with the UN.
MJ1066
January 15th, 2008 at 5:25 pm [Reply]

#218: How do you know this? Did someone get a sneak preview of future Luann strips?
gh
January 15th, 2008 at 5:27 pm [Reply]

You know who I hate? Mr. Dithers! With the shouting and the kicks in the pants and the “Where’s the Feeblemeister contract?!” How can you expect Dagwood get any “work” done? I totally sympathize. Anyway, I gotta go play Squack. See ya.
The Divine O’F
January 15th, 2008 at 5:39 pm [Reply]

NYCC:

“I figure it’ll keep him fresh till spring, when I can cook and eat him.”

Also childless, aging, and useless to society.

And who do I hate the most? It’s so hard to decide, but probably the entire cast of LuAnn. Or Lou Anne. Or whatever. They really grind my bees. I also HATE HATE HATE Marmaduke. And Garfield.
Mountain Mama
January 15th, 2008 at 5:44 pm [Reply]

Just remember, Ms Divine, that we’re having FUN while being useless to society!!

BTW, please check out the forum for scheduling another Tucson meet!
Anna Nimity
January 15th, 2008 at 5:44 pm [Reply]

74. Thanks True, for your quality snark. I was even going to express my incredulity in Coffee Stalk, but they are [DARN!] at the beach this week.

Mmmm, here in Colorado, cold and windy, thinking of the beach..
Quack.
Ahhhhh…..
Anna Nimity
January 15th, 2008 at 5:46 pm [Reply]

211. Commodorejohn: LOVE your FOOB snark, esp. this one…

#5 Dee Patterson – Should be stabbing Michael in his sleep but isn’t.

Hee hee hee hee…. hate those Patterfoobs!
Joe
January 15th, 2008 at 5:53 pm [Reply]

Most Hated:

1. St. Michael Patterfoob: Was the quintissential kid in school who always had everything and let you know it. Bratty, self-centered, clueless and narcissistic. As an adult, he’s a no-talent assclown, yet gets book deals. Has an overblown sense of entitlement. Has grandma living down the street to watch his spawn at an instant’s notice. Has a wife who works, takes care of kids, keeps up the house and never complains. Had his parents and Dee’s parents clunk down a huge chunk of change for his house, otherwise he’d be living in a crappy apartment somewhere. Can’t do anything on his own, yet has a sense of smug superiority. After all this, he thinks he has it so bad.

2. Pastythony: Incessant whiner. Marries a woman he doesn’t love, forces her to buy a house she doesn’t want, forces her to have a baby she doesn’t want. Spends his married life pining away for another woman. Is creepy and manipulative. Horrible father. Milktoast. Boring as cold cornmeal. Dumber than moose-poop. I can’t imagine any woman wanting to have sex with Mr. Lizard-lips.

3. Elizaloser: Had a great job in a great community with a great boyfriend up in Mtgwaki. Led Paul on, just like she’s done with every other boyfriend she’s ever had. Went racing back to Milborough for no real reason. Threw away her independence for Mr. Milktoast. Is self-centered, just like every other Patterfoob, doesn’t understand what is meant by “w-o-r-k”, gets upset because Warren can’t come to visit because of “w-o-r-k”. In general, she’s a coy little trollop I’d like to slap silly.

4. SmElly: Fat, frumpy, hot-tuna-mac-grease-dripping garbage burger and butter-tart chomper, yet whines about her body. Screeching, smelly, annoying, controlling, elevates herself to some sort of matriarch. Helped Pastythony cheat on Therese by encouraging him to go see Elizaloser at the train station when she was leaving. Ignores April. I’d like to kick her in the ass so hard as to send her sprawling across the floor with her face landing in a butter-tart.

5. Cathy (must die): Nuerotic, dopey, idiotic. This comic just sucks. Guiswite can’t draw, can’t write, all she does is have spastic, nuerotic dreams and then puts them to paper. At one time, FOOB was good. Cathy always sucked donkey balls.

6. The Whole Family Circus: Old. Tired. Same old shit, different day. Same damn kids, saying stupid shit about things they don’t understand. Over 45 years of wasted ink. I’d like to drown all those damn kids in the bathtub. Bil and Thel too. At least Keane can draw. Mostly. Except when we see Dolly with tree-trunks for legs.
Joe
January 15th, 2008 at 5:59 pm [Reply]

#205 Poteet:
No, they are not “child-less”, they are “child-free”.

Child-free means you don’t have kids, never wanted kids, and you’re perfectly happy that way!

They can also be happy knowing that they won’t be spending $500,000+ per kid over the next 18 years to raise them, and won’t be dumping 6,000-8,000 dirty diapers (per kid) into the landfill!
Allie Cat
January 15th, 2008 at 6:19 pm [Reply]

#219 – brb – my father went to Tech, as did his father. I don’t have the aptitude, or I too might have gone. But since I made D’s in High School algebra, that would have been a tough row to hoe.

I did spend a lot of Saturdays of my youth at Grant Field – the Curry years. My fifth birthday present was an outing to a Tech game – which, incidentally, would have fallen in the 77-81 date range.

As for UGA, it was a good place to kill four years and get a diploma. I don’t bleed Red and Black, my opinion of the football team is that their lack of sportsmanship in the Sugar Bowl was appalling. My happiest times were in the classrooms there, especially in my major (journalism) and minor (French).

Lewis Grizzard could definitely be annoying, but he occasionally got it right. I loved any story he wrote about his labs- Catfish and Cornbread. Even though some of his stuff doesn’t age well, there’s a real nostalgia attached with it.
Poteet
January 15th, 2008 at 6:22 pm [Reply]

# 227 Joe — By that definition, I guess I’m child-free. Of the others I know who fit the definition, most are responsibly employed and many do volunteer work and otherwise contribute to the community in unpaid ways. I dunno why, because Foob has made it clear that a person can write a really wretched novel and still make money from it. So maybe more of us should quit volunteering and write bad novels instead, so we can collect our checks, give some of the money to worthy causes, and spend the rest flying to Cancun, evaluating pubs in Dublin, etc.
SecretMargo
January 15th, 2008 at 6:32 pm [Reply]

Oh you guys! Now you’ve suckered me into musing about my least favourite characters long enough that I have to join in and add my nickel of input too.

#5: Lu Ann, of A3G — She irritates me because of her one-note idiocy and limp lack of any redeeming charm or whimsy, and because she’s held up as some kind of knockout paragon of simplicity and virtue for it. She seems to embody most potently the bizarrely 1950s-ish values structuring the strip these days, which I’m betting are much more pronounced now than when it was actually being written in the 50s. I really love the strip and was kind of excited at the prospect of her stupidity being acknowledged as actual brain damage there for a bit, but I’m afraid we’re sliding back into vapid victim mode no and I’m not terribly excited about it.

#4: Bernice, of Luann — Everything said above about Bernice’s persisent negativity and jealousy over her brother’s fondness for Luann I echo wholeheartedly, and the whole thing is just so puzzling: I’d me more into her sarcastic bitchiness if it ever seemed smart or incisive (making her into a type of Daria-style truthteller), but she always seems instead to be stuck in a rut of pointless pettiness that comes off insecure and graspingly self-centered. Blecch. (And for the record: I love TJ. It is not his fault that Brad goes along with every scheme he hatches then bails when the going gets rough at the exact wrong moment so as to always end up catching the heat. Besides, if Brad lived his life a bit more TJ-like, his love life would actually progress one way or the other instead of revving infinitely in the Toni Trenches)

#3: Les, of FW — Yes, he went through a tragic loss. Yes, he’s stuck in the endless wheel of misfortune that is post-lapsarian Funkytown. But really, is there a whinier yet more self-righteous father in the comics right now (well, maybe, but we’ll have to wait until #1 for that…)? The jump in time, more than anything else, was supposed to give him time to heal and reach a sense of closure off-stage so we’d be spared witnessing the emotional wreckage of him coming to terms with the loss of his wife. And yet, this closure seems not to have taken place at all, but rather was postponed, just waiting for puberty to strike his daughter for him to start working out his unresolved issues with Lisa abandoning him by patrolling her budding body like a horny-yet-castrated junkyard dog. Dude, I think I’m speaking for everyone, and especially your daughter, when I say: back the [margo] off, creepy.

#2: Juliet, of 9CL — Okay, I’m not sure I hate her so much as I hate what Brooke does whenever he shows her at work, but what the hell. The problem with her characterization is that Brooke seems to think she’s a Ambrose Bierce-style truthteller, carving her own Devil’s Dictionary of academia’s underside into the hides of those around her. This only works if her acidic observations were insightful and incisive, but invariably they’re overdrawn and caricatured versions of this or that real problem, which blunts the supposed edge of her whole character. The current storyline is a great example of how this works: it is very true that universities exploit young (visiting, assistant, untenured, etc.) professors, banking on their youth and enthusiasm to carry them through teaching all the crap no one else wants to for a fraction of a regular faculty member’s salary and no obligation to keep them on the following year. I know this, because I am currently employed as just such a professor. But we never get to see how any of this works — instead, we’re simply shown Juliet doling out a series of achingly unclever putdowns, and the whole thing is so inspecific and grotesquely overblown that any truth in the insight gets lost in the blunt-force trauma of its execution.

#1: Anthony, of FBOFW — Well, duh. Symbolizing everything that’s going wrong in latter-day FOOBistan, this dude elicits a damp, crawling revulsion just by showing up. It’s impossible not to imagine that touching his skin would be like caressing the surface of a slug, except the slime trail would never wash off, no matter how many scouring, scalding showers one took. The unfounded celebrations of his non-existent charms, the maddening insistence that he is a perpetual victim of circumstance instead of a smugly ineffectual asshole who invites his own misfortune, the complete denial of any meaningful responsibility for the dissolution of his marriage, the devious, selfish passive aggression he displayed while covertly courting Liz behind Thérèse’s back, the moustache and its opportunistic removal …. all the faults of every other character in the strip can be found concentrated here, as if he were less a character than an overturned rock where every human weakness, every unsavory impulse, everything we despise about ourselves and try to rise above squirms like a mass of swollen maggots, daring the reader not to turn away as an act of primal self-preservation.
commodorejohn
January 15th, 2008 at 6:40 pm [Reply]

#230 SecretMargo – Brad has never been in the Toni Trenches. Either of them.

Best summation of Anthony I’ve ever read, though.
Mooncattie
January 15th, 2008 at 6:48 pm [Reply]

#191 True Fable, wonderful alternative names for comics we love to hate, but my favourite of all is from #186….”Fucktard”!! Best derogatory term I’ve heard since Miserable Fat Belgian Bastards!

The diplomat in me wants to say “Can’t we all agree to despise these horrible people equally?”, but my inner snark wants to know which one I’d pick to be run over by Ed Crankshaft’s runaway schoolbus tomorrow. It wouldn’t be Cathy, as I don’t bother reading her enough to develop a real hate-on, and the irritating peripherals in Chickweed (with the possible exception of Thorax) don’t last much longer in my consciousness than the average sneeze. With Mary Worth, there’s a definite twinge of anticipation, although her last waking thought bubble on-impact would be something REALLY irritating along the lines of Sometimes the place we want to go / Is not where we “Need To Be”.

No, it’s the core members of the Patterson clan that has me telling the ‘Shaft to step on the gas. To paraphrase the late, great Tom Cheek (Blue Jay’s radio announcer), “Touch ‘em all, Ed!” and run ‘em down like bowling pins. Perhaps Sparing April, who can grow up, become a truly fine writer, and never, through her own choice, conceive.

Ah, and Mooncattie is now 50, also childless and aging, but smiling along the way!
Islamorada Girl
January 15th, 2008 at 6:56 pm [Reply]

Blandthony: the Milhouse of the daily strips.

Confidential to SecretMargo: Tell Miss Connie to check out
The New Adventures of Queen Victoria. I bet she gets a kick out of it.
Little Guy
January 15th, 2008 at 6:57 pm [Reply]

Dick Tracy: That “I’ve seen a ghost” look of Dick’s is mashable to the max. I can only imagine what he’s looking at (or does he hear the echo of Coach Kleats slappings too closely from behind?)
Brick Bradford
January 15th, 2008 at 7:08 pm [Reply]

Zowie–first I discover all the fellow Buffalonians here, and now a bunch of Atlantans! I went to grad school at Emory and worked in Atlanta a couple of years afterwards–I was there from 1975-81. I remember Grizzard when he was still a sports writer
(and he was a lot funnier before he got the national syndication, the book deals, etc.). Do any of you remember Horton’s Sundries out by Emory? I worked there a couple of years–the bad ones after Mr. Horton left and He Who Shall Not Be Named was running the business into the dirt.

The joke amongst the Rambling Wrecks used to be that you should always keep your windows rolled up when you drove through Athens lest someone throw a diploma into your car.
Mountain Mama
January 15th, 2008 at 7:09 pm [Reply]

Ah, Mooncattie, I thought you were one of us! Keep on smiling, dear.

This discussion reminds me of a day at my parents’ place a few years back. One of my sisters showed up with her two kids and two kites, ostensibly, to show the kids how to fly kites.

It ended up with us flying the kites as the kids did whatever.

I did tell her at one point it was never too late to have a happy childhood and she heartily agreed. It was a great day and we had a blast.

If you’re going to be useless, have some damn fun.
Skullturf Q. Beavispants
January 15th, 2008 at 7:33 pm [Reply]

Childless and 33 here. Which isn’t that old, but it’s older than all my parents and grandparents were when they had kids.

And Loopina #210, I love your remark about being 29 and 5/3. I guess I’m twenty-twelve and five thirds. Does this mean your birthday is in May, like me?
True Fable
January 15th, 2008 at 7:39 pm [Reply]

# 232 Mooncattie – I wish I could take credit for “Fucktard” and I would gladly credit the originator but I honestly can’t recall who first coined it. Thanks though!

# 215 Gold-Digging Nanny – You have invoked the name and image of Sir Integra Wingates Hellsing! Oooh, I love it when you touch me in those places in my mind!

Oh, good call on the lists, y’all! I must have deliberately purged The BM of Edison Lee and The Ultimate Pasty White Folk from my mind, but they are certainly deserving of every ounce of loathing thrown at them. A pox on Edison Lee, whose Frankensteinian mashup of Charlie Brown, Oliver Wendell Jones and Handy Generic Liberal is truly the stuff of horror. And death to Granthony Pornstache Cain’t, whom SecretMargo so eloquently and precisely defined as being the biggest illustrated pain in the ass in all of comicdom. Only he said it much, much better with applicable terms of slime and disgust and maggottry.

SecretMargo is my hero!
Mooncattie
January 15th, 2008 at 7:50 pm [Reply]

#236 Mountain Mama, thank you for the nice words! I remain in awe of the posts here from the past couple of hours.

The expression child-free does have a nice ring to it, not that there’s anything wrong with them!

I had a phone call last week from a long-ago girlfriend, who wanted to meet for lunch. The lunch was today, and she was delighted to get out photos of her twins, her husband and the twins, the twins walking around in diapers, the twins all dressed up for Halloween, the twins standing on the dishwasher door (??), the twins covered in food, etc. etc.
All I had in exchange was my digital photo wallet thingy with tiny pics of me drinking beer and smiling in Berlin, in Munich, in Krakow, in Tallin, in Chicago, in Honolulu…and more smiles from Copenhagen and England.
Perhaps we both got what we wanted.
The beer in Munich was especially good! And high marks to Chicago, too. One day I will have to add Arizona to that list!!
SecretMargo
January 15th, 2008 at 7:54 pm [Reply]

231, 238: High praise indeed, from such decorated veterans of the anti-FOOB foxhole! Thank you!

And re: babies — what’s the deal?
F. Cecious Lee
January 15th, 2008 at 8:02 pm [Reply]

#235 Brick

I recently told someone that joke about Athens. Sometimes I’ll recite the Tech song about the (Agnes) Scottie who married a guy from Tech.

I didn’t make it out to the Emory area much, but I do remember going to a pizza place in the area a lot. I just don’t remember the name.

Since ‘81 I’ve spent about 16 non-consecutive years in Central new Yourk (Syracuse/Utica). Presently in Syracuse.
Rusty
January 15th, 2008 at 8:08 pm [Reply]

Baldo: Hector’s ethnicity = morbidly obese, . i always feel sorry for that little bike he peddles around.

Most hated character: The new improved Funky Winkerbean. How did this loser become Archie Bunker?
Saluki
January 15th, 2008 at 8:12 pm [Reply]

Most Hated Character:

Mallard Filmore.

What do I win?
Allie Cat
January 15th, 2008 at 8:13 pm [Reply]

#239 Mooncattie – We took a trip to Munich (and Florence) this past Spring. I would hop a plane tonight to go have a few beers anywhere in Munich. And some potatoes. And sausage. I truly loved Munich and can’t wait to get back.

Which, since I’m child-free, may be soon!

Twins are great. But so is travel!
Poteet
January 15th, 2008 at 8:22 pm [Reply]

# 240 SecretMargo — HAR! Thanks for the dinosaur take on the baby issue! I have nothing against babies personally, and am grateful that ChattyGenes decided to raise a couple of very appealing ones. I just knew from a young age that diapers and me would not get along.

You made an eloquent case for Anthony as Number One Asshat. Now I have this uncontrollable urge to wash my hands and possibly my eyeballs…pardon me…
teenchy
January 15th, 2008 at 8:34 pm [Reply]

## 235, 241 – Okay, wise guys. I got my bachelors in Athens and my Masters at Emory. Most of my family that didn’t join the military went to Clemson, the U. of South Carolina or Winthrop. I’ve done alright for myself and until I had my wisdoms pulled I had all my teeth.

I was in Athens 1981-85, a great time to be there. With the music scene burgeoning I got to see some of the greatest acts of the time for cheap or free. I managed to get a decent education and have been able to hold my own in Yankeeland for two decades now.

Pizza places near Emory? The Dugout or the Mellow Mushroom?
ChattyGenes
January 15th, 2008 at 8:47 pm [Reply]

#204 Niall. Aw, gee. Thanks! *blush*
F. Cecious Lee
January 15th, 2008 at 8:47 pm [Reply]

I just took a look at mapquest. I think the pizza place I was thinking of was on N. Decatur Rd. It wasn’t Mellow Mushroom, we had one closer to us, the phone number was ush-mush.
Big Sims
January 15th, 2008 at 8:56 pm [Reply]

Most hated… most hated… Jesus, the list is so long. Secret Margo covered it really well, I agree with what he said for the most part (I can’t get on board with TJ, but I’ll agree he’s the most interesting of the bunch, big whoop) but one he left out is Cathy. Mercy me, I can’t stand ANYONE in the Cathy Universe. Even the pets are boring. I once saw an interview with Cathy Guisewite where she blathered on and on regurgitating the same old gender roles and was hailed as a feminist. Anyway, her characters suck, poorly drawn and the jokes are tired and based on shitty stereotypes. Feh.
brb
January 15th, 2008 at 8:59 pm [Reply]

THE pizza place at Emory was Everybody’s, and in fact it still is. In the 77-81 time frame it was a small dive, but it expanded multiple times and now is a much more family-friendly place. As an owner said at one point, they matured with their clientele.

There was another one a few doors down which featured rectangular pizzas, but it’s name escapes me at the moment.

Oh yeah, comics: I hate Cathy!
Big Sims
January 15th, 2008 at 9:00 pm [Reply]

Question to all the child-free ‘mudges; do y’all babysit?

Ducks to avoid the bricks and knives being tossed at him…
ChattyGenes
January 15th, 2008 at 9:03 pm [Reply]

#159 Mountain Mama. (to #150 Honeypot).

Not to mention GOATS! ;-)
ChattyGenes
January 15th, 2008 at 9:04 pm [Reply]

#171 Poteet. Yes, and I thank you!!

#245 Poteet. Thank you again!
brb
January 15th, 2008 at 9:04 pm [Reply]

Oh and Brick Bradford, I do have some memory of Horton’s, probably from my sister who was at Emory a couple of years ahead of me. I also remember drinking iced tea out of Mason jars at Ed Green’s.

And I still hate Cathy, even though I don’t read the strip any more.

And I do know the difference in its and it’s, even if I screw up every now and then.
bats :[
January 15th, 2008 at 9:14 pm [Reply]

251. Big Sims: I think it was babysitting as my way of making money in high school that really set me on the course of child-freedom. Back in the Auld Days, I got $5/hour for taking care of four kids, all under the age of 8…while they were (mostly) good kids and it was a regular gig, I determined that if I were going to have kids, someone would have to pay me.
Mooncattie
January 15th, 2008 at 9:14 pm [Reply]

#244 Allie Cat – I hope you get to make a return trip one day. Munich on a sunny day is a wonderful place to be. I had one night there last year, the last day of my Europe holidays, and dutifully set out for a walking tour of my favourite beergardens. Alas, although it was the 4th of July, it was FREEZING, windy, and the skies were threatening a deluge at any time – all the beergardens were shut down! I wandered through the abandoned lot of my favourite spot, the Augustiener Biergarten, totally crushed, when I heard a commotion from an adjacent building. Their INDOOR restaurant was still open, so I managed to salvage some wienerschnitzel and a litre (alright, two) of the local Edelstoff. Yum! And it finally dawned on me through the suds that, yes, the Hofbrauhaus would of course also be open. I joined beerfans from around the world to roar approval at the oom-pah band playing Sousa melodies.

A wonderful evening! Lets all win the lottery and have a massive CC-Fest in a Munich Beergarden!
Trotzenbonnie
January 15th, 2008 at 9:15 pm [Reply]

Can I call myself child-free now that My Rotten Kid is 30 – or at least he will be in exactly twenty hours and thirty-seven minutes?
Rainbird
January 15th, 2008 at 9:19 pm [Reply]

147 your father isn’t mr. cohen Well, if Nikki stole the matches, I’m sure he stole some paper money as well. He is probably regretting that in order not to freeze to death, he will have to burn $10,000 in 100 dollar bills.

Or something like that.
Ukulele Ike
January 15th, 2008 at 9:19 pm [Reply]

Pfffbbbbt. We’ve had two kids (now 17 and 12….the elder just got accepted early admission to Yale) and I’ve traveled loads. It can be done.

Incidentally, for the most transcendant European travel experience, go around Italy with a small blonde child in tow. All three of you get treated like gods.

My wife and my cute blond son and I ran into another American family (with a cute blonde daughter) as we were wandering through a plaza in old Rome, and swapped all kinds of cool stories (”People just GIVE you stuff! Grappa! Pastry! Gelato!”).
Mooncattie
January 15th, 2008 at 9:19 pm [Reply]

#256 Me – …and let’s not invite Cathy!

We could extend an invite to Elly, though…they do amazing things with ribs over there!
Big Sims
January 15th, 2008 at 9:19 pm [Reply]

#257 Trotzenbonnine
What were you – 15 when you had him?!?
Looking good Mrs T!
Trotzenbonnie
January 15th, 2008 at 9:21 pm [Reply]

And Mooncattie, darling! Welcome to the Flappy Arms Droopy Buns Club. How many solicitations from AARP have you received so far?
F. Cecious Lee
January 15th, 2008 at 9:21 pm [Reply]

Everybody’s..that’s it.

I didn’t read Cathy or any of the soap comics back then. But by the time I moved back there in 95 I was hooked on Judge Parker. The AJC dropped JP for several months then brought it back because of all of the complaints. I don’t think the story had advanced more much more than a day.
Big Sims
January 15th, 2008 at 9:22 pm [Reply]

#260 Mooncattie –
But it would be fun to get Irving pissy-drunk, until he got maudlin, and start whining about his gadgets and wife. On second thought, let’s not invite him either.
Big Sims
January 15th, 2008 at 9:27 pm [Reply]

#258 Rainbird
I thought that too. But I’ll give you full credit for calling it.
Why would you need to search for something flammable in an abandoned moonshiner’s cabin? I’d imagine there would be lots of kindling about.
Trotzenbonnie
January 15th, 2008 at 9:30 pm [Reply]

#261 – Big Sims
Aw, shucks. What a nice thing to say, Big Sims.
Hey! Wait a minute! If you’re posting here, who’s guarding our shores?!
Actually, motherhood was thrust upon me two days before my twenty-first birthday. Twas a rathering sobering initiation into adulthood. No beer bongs or Chippendales for me. No sireee. I turned 21 whilst sitting on a butt full of stitches in an adjustable bed.
AND I HOPE MY ROTTEN KID *#@* – WELL APPRECIATES IT!
Loopina
January 15th, 2008 at 9:30 pm [Reply]

#251/255: I did a lot of babysitting. I have three younger siblings, so I started changing diapers at about age 8. From there moved on to the more lucrative sitting of neighborhood kids. I only made $3 an hour, but made enough to buy a car when I turned 18.

I like kids. I really do, but I haven’t been in anything resembling a relationship with a male of the species for a good 2 years. Truthfully, I’d rather have a child than a SO. Adoption is attractive b/c you can skip over the pre-potty-training years, or I could always buy sperm online. Maybe that guy on YouTube who plays Star Wars on bagpipes.

Speaking of kids, what the hell is going on with Marvin? This is the second time in a week he’s used the “wet-diaper-frozen-to-sidewalk” line. Do you realize how long you’d have to not change a kid for the pee to soak all the way through the diaper, pants, and snowsuit? And the baby left sitting on a in a blizzard is just too disturbing. Even though I hate Marvin.
fluffytufts
January 15th, 2008 at 9:31 pm [Reply]

Anonymous @ 111 – I saw an abandoned electric-blue bustier around here somewhere. Queen Isla must’ve chucked it.

*sigh*
Deena in OR
January 15th, 2008 at 9:31 pm [Reply]

259-I imagine that would be about like traveling in Japan with a couple of cute and well behaved little red headed kids. My son was 4, and train-mad at the time. I don’t think he’s ever taken so much candy from strangers in his life :)
Deena in OR
January 15th, 2008 at 9:35 pm [Reply]

Loopina-that sounds familiar. I was the first of three, and the only daughter. Plus my dad was an elementary principal, and I pretty much had a lock on the teachers’ kid franchise. I babysat my way through junior high and high school. But my parents only allowed me to charge 50 cents an hour…and a dollar an hour after midnight. Kinda hard to get rich on that.
ChattyGenes
January 15th, 2008 at 9:38 pm [Reply]

#259 Deena in OR. That sounds like something that would happen here. (If you haven’t picked it up by now, I live in Japan.)

Half-Japanese and half-American kids get a lot of attention too–though not candy, particularly.
Trotzenbonnie
January 15th, 2008 at 9:48 pm [Reply]

Babysitting is okay if their heads aren’t too lumpy and they don’t get really squirmy but I prefer a nice comfy chair.
Ukulele Ike
January 15th, 2008 at 9:48 pm [Reply]

Given the current low birth rates in Western Europe (are they as low in Japan?) I suppose hauling around a cute toddler makes for entertainment gold with the locals.

BTW, when in Munich, lay off the brewskis long enough to take in the Villa von Stuck, a great small museum for people who like weird paintings (Symbolist genre), and a magnificent piece of fin-de-siecle architecture.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Franz_von_Stuck
Brown-eyed Girl
January 15th, 2008 at 9:55 pm [Reply]

I never wanted kids (and never had them) but damn, I want grandbabies! Love them and spoil them and hand them back to mom and dad when the diapers reek and the screaming starts. What a sweet deal.

Happy birthday Mooncattie and Trotz. Actually happy double birthday Trotz: once for you and once for your rotten kid.
Big Sims
January 15th, 2008 at 9:55 pm [Reply]

Showing off little blonds (complete with Southern accents) in Europe is gold. Next stop, Japan! Look lively Chatty Genes

#272 Trotzenbonnie
As someone here once said (and it deserves repeating) “I love kids, especially in a white wine sauce.” (or was it; “I love kids, but I can never finish a whole one.”)
Deena in OR
January 15th, 2008 at 9:56 pm [Reply]

ChattyGenes-Someday I’ll bore you with my story of standing directly in front of Ueno JR station with an infant on my hip on a late Friday afternoon, stopping strangers to ask them where the Ueno station was. Talk about embarrassing when I figured it out…
bats :[
January 15th, 2008 at 9:57 pm [Reply]

273. Ike: von Stuck painted some really rockin’ satyrs, too.
Big Sims
January 15th, 2008 at 9:58 pm [Reply]

Oh yeah! Today is your Birthday, eh Trotzenbonnie? (I should’ve surmised that from your posts, but I’m dim) And Mooncattie too?
Many happy returns!
Ukulele Ike
January 15th, 2008 at 10:00 pm [Reply]

bats @277: Oh, you betcha!

http://franz_von_stuck.tripod.com/FaunundNixe.jpg
ChattyGenes
January 15th, 2008 at 10:03 pm [Reply]

#275 Big Sims. Anytime! Just let me know so I can child-proof the house again.

#276 Deena in OR. It already sounds hilarious! And just like something I might have done (and things I really did–just ask my two kids:-) They have a whole file of “our embarrassing foreign mom” stories.
SaberChick
January 15th, 2008 at 10:08 pm [Reply]

Hello all -

Having been consistently impressed by the diversity of this group I am hoping you can help me with a non-comics related etiquette/pronoun issue.

Here is the situation.

One of our long time fencers has recently announced that they are going thru a male to female sex change operation. Now, obviously at this point Carl is now Carol and should be referred to by that name and the appropriate (female) pronoun. Carol intends to continue fencing and remain in the fencing community.

My question is this – when referring to Carol/Carls past achievements (ie winning a high level mens only competition) how should we refer to her.

Saying something like “Boy, remember that bout between Carol and Mike at the ‘94 Mens Championships – that was cool” confuses those who did not know Carol as Carl. (how could she be fencing in a mens event) However, by stating her name as “Carl” leaves them wondering who the heck we are talking about.

Changing your gender does not negate your past achievements – do we refer to her as him in the past? Someone suggested saying “They” but that makes her(?) sound bi-polar.

Anyhow, any input/thoughts you might have on this would be helpful.

Thanks
SaberChick
January 15th, 2008 at 10:09 pm [Reply]

Hello all -

Having been consistently impressed by the diversity of this group I am hoping you can help me with a non-comics related etiquette/pronoun issue.

Here is the situation.

One of our long time fencers has recently announced that they are going thru a male to female sex change operation. Now, obviously at this point Carl is now Carol and should be referred to by that name and the appropriate (female) pronoun. Carol intends to continue fencing and remain in the fencing community.

My question is this – when referring to Carol/Carls past achievements (ie winning a high level mens only competition) how should we refer to her.

Saying something like “Boy, remember that bout between Carol and Mike at the ‘94 Mens Championships – that was cool” confuses those who did not know Carol as Carl. (how could she be fencing in a mens event) However, by stating her name as “Carl” leaves them wondering who the heck we are talking about.

Changing your gender does not negate your past achievements – do we refer to her as him in the past? Someone suggested saying “They” but that makes her(?) sound bi-polar.

Anyhow, any input/thoughts you might have on this would be helpful. I want to be able to talk about her without defining her each time as “the transgendered fencer”.

Thanks
SaberChick
January 15th, 2008 at 10:10 pm [Reply]

Hello all -

Having been consistently impressed by the diversity of this group I am hoping you can help me with a non-comics related etiquette/pronoun issue.

Here is the situation.

One of our long time fencers has recently announced that they are going thru a male to female sex change operation. Now, obviously at this point Carl is now Carol and should be referred to by that name and the appropriate (female) pronoun. Carol intends to continue fencing and remain in the fencing community.

My question is this – when referring to Carol/Carls past achievements (ie winning a high level mens only competition) how should we refer to her.

Saying something like “Boy, remember that bout between Carol and Mike at the ‘94 Mens Championships – that was cool” confuses those who did not know Carol as Carl. (how could she be fencing in a mens event) However, by stating her name as “Carl” leaves them wondering who the heck we are talking about.

Changing your gender does not negate your past achievements – do we refer to her as him in the past? Someone suggested saying “They” but that makes her(?) sound bi-polar.

Anyhow, any input/thoughts you might have on this would be helpful.

Thanks
Deena in OR
January 15th, 2008 at 10:15 pm [Reply]

SaberChick-
Wow. And kudos to you for getting it enough to call her by the appropriate gender now. (Yes, I know, of course you do and you would…but you’d be surprised. )

Do you know Carol well enough just to ask her what she’d prefer?
Uncle Lumpy
January 15th, 2008 at 10:15 pm [Reply]

#282 SaberChick –

My $0.02 is to call people what they want to be called (unless they start to be real passive-agressive pricks about it, in which case call ‘em “asshole”). I betcha Carol saw herself as female when she was winning the Mens Championships. Good on her.
Skullturf Q. Beavispants
January 15th, 2008 at 10:16 pm [Reply]

My two cents are that I am quite happy with “they” as a gender-neutral pronoun generally, even for people who have never changed genders.

I don’t have an easy answer for how to refer to the person by name — e.g. referring to a past achievement as Carl’s or Carol’s or whatever. I guess my first impulse is to use whatever name they currently go by, even when talking about their past. I knew somebody who changed their name from Travis to Justin (see what I did with the pronoun there? That sounds like perfectly natural conversational English to me even though the gender of this individual has never changed) and I guess if he goes by Justin now, it makes sense to say “Hey, remember when Justin scored four goals in that hockey game” even though he might not have been Justin at the time of the game in question.
Uncle Lumpy
January 15th, 2008 at 10:16 pm [Reply]

“Aggressive.” Ack!
Rainbird
January 15th, 2008 at 10:26 pm [Reply]

ChattyGenese I missed it, sometime over winter break? When did you transform from being crabby to chatty?

Was it all over sudden, or gradual.

And how do genes transform?
Trotzenbonnie
January 15th, 2008 at 10:28 pm [Reply]

SaberChick
Wow! Fencing. Was the sex-change operation intentional or accidental?

Do you absolutely have to be gender-specific when referring to past tournaments?
“Hey! Remember when Carol really kicked ass back in ‘94?’

If you can’t fix it, avoid it, I always say.

Big Sims –
The annual stuffing of my face with buttercream frosting occurs this Friday. MRK turns 30 tomorrow. And what did he ask for? A dance pad to hook up to his computer so he can use his feet instead of his fingers while playing StepMania. I hope he isn’t practicing for a spot on Dancing With the Stars. He going to be really disappointed when he finds out it has nothing to do with the Hubble.
Uncle Lumpy
January 15th, 2008 at 10:33 pm [Reply]

#288 Rainbird –

I think you’re mistaken: Chatty has never been Crabby, and she has always been at war with Oceania.
Mooncattie
January 15th, 2008 at 10:33 pm [Reply]

#275 Big Sims – I seem to recall someone quoting WC Fields as saying “I love children, especially on toast”, but I won’t swear to that.
And I’m now picturing some of our least-favourite characters around the beergarden picnic bench. Irving, indeed! Actually I can picture Cathy in a dirndl, dropping steins of beer everywhere and saying “ACK” a lot and locals complimenting her German.

And over there is Vera…say, has she put on a few pounds around the?…and she’s looking at her brother in kind of a weird way?….ahhhh, naw…

#262 Trotzenbonnie! I guess where I am north of the border it would be called CARP. Although Ontario recently dropped the 65 As Mandatory Retirement Age rule, and I suspect if I want to keep travelling, I’ll have to keep working!

#274 Brown Eyed Girl – Thank you! Well, I’m settling at the moment for being an Uncle Mooncattie, and it IS a good deal. Make ‘em giggle, and then hand them back.

Good night all! Keep On Flapping!

And Ukelele Ike & bats :[ – I’ve bookmarked von Stuck and will try to check it out. But it’ll have to be on a weekday, because Satyrs close on Saturday Night. Ha ha! Veal! Please drive safely!
Rainbird
January 15th, 2008 at 10:34 pm [Reply]

94 gleeb

But isn’t one of the women who is talking the wife of the Phantom?

Not that that makes any difference. It is still terribly dull. Wow, I just handed a jay walking ticket to Colonel Sanders.
Big Sims
January 15th, 2008 at 10:35 pm [Reply]

#289 Trotzenbonnie

Oh yeah! Today is your Birthday, eh Trotzenbonnie? (I should’ve surmised that from your posts, but I’m dim)

Really really dim.
Rusty
January 15th, 2008 at 10:35 pm [Reply]

Just call Carol “C” all the time, so it can be used when recalling past events. I would just use “they” or even Carol, and if someone demands an explanation, then so be it.

Bonus fun: Pose your query on Alison Bechdel’s blog and watch the posters have a go.
ChattyGenes
January 15th, 2008 at 10:37 pm [Reply]

#288 Rainbird. I was re-dubbed “ChattyGenes” as a bit of a joke, by a friend who knew about both my moniker and my tendencies. Due to circumstances in my private life, I’ve been happier lately than I was before, and so I adopted the new name with thanks to the bestower. I can’t remember exactly when that was–sometime in late November or early December, I think.

For a few days I posted as ChattyGenes with my former moniker in parentheses, but after that I dropped the parentheses.

I don’t know how genes transform. I credit my feeling happier to better energy and a few new friends:-)
Rainbird
January 15th, 2008 at 10:37 pm [Reply]

290 Uncle Lumpy

Thank you for clarifying that. I will make sure that I am in site of the TV so that Big Brother can watch me more carefully.

Actually, I don’t keep a tv in the main part of the house. Perhaps Big Brother is watching through the internet.
Deena in OR
January 15th, 2008 at 10:38 pm [Reply]

Rusty-Ain’t that the truth :)
Uncle Lumpy
January 15th, 2008 at 10:38 pm [Reply]

#296 Rainbird –

A little more to your left, please. Yes, that’s better.

In other news, I really really really hope there’s a Phantom plot that focuses completely on Diana and leaves ol’ Stripey completely out of it. Oh please please please the guy so needs a break.
Rainbird
January 15th, 2008 at 10:40 pm [Reply]

ChattyGenes Glad to hear you are happier now.
ChattyGenes
January 15th, 2008 at 10:42 pm [Reply]

#290 Uncle Lumpy. Aw, thanks! *blush*

And now, off to the land of Google to figure out what you might have meant by the second half of your comment…
Ukulele Ike
January 15th, 2008 at 10:45 pm [Reply]

Unc: Diana’s hairdo looks kind of insipid, though, compared to the last time she appeared in the strip — I think she was taking a naked bath in a pond while her stripey-assed husband peeked at her through the reeds, but I can’t swear to it.

“Wear this apron!” threw me for a minute or so this morning, seeing as the waitress is not wearing an apron. Also not sure as to why Blondie feels that tracking down jaywalkers is more exciting than slinging hash.
ChattyGenes
January 15th, 2008 at 10:46 pm [Reply]

#299 Rainbird. Thank you! :-)
Deena in OR
January 15th, 2008 at 10:58 pm [Reply]

Rainbird- It’s a “1984″ reference.
Deena in OR
January 15th, 2008 at 11:00 pm [Reply]

Ooops, ChattyGenes, I meant. Sorry, Rainbird.
SecretMargo
January 15th, 2008 at 11:00 pm [Reply]

300: ChattyG! Save your Googling wrist! Look here for more than you’ll ever want to know

Re: gendered language — the “narrating to a third party events of the past” part seems the most vexing — I’d say just proceed as if it was a name change (”Carol won the Men’s Swashbuckling Freestyle Pogo Tourney back in 1983, when she was known as Carl”) for the most part. I also echo the calls to just avoid pronouns in written language and use the technically incorrect but natural-sounding “they” when speaking.
Artist formerly known as Ben
January 15th, 2008 at 11:03 pm [Reply]

#230, SecretMargo
Have to say I agree with everything you say about Bernice. It seems strange to me that Luann has a nasty troglodyte for a brother, is bizarrely unpopular at school, and still has enough appetite for negativity that she considers Bern to be her best friend. Girl, she points all her subpar barbs at you!
ChattyGenes
January 15th, 2008 at 11:06 pm [Reply]

#305 Secret Margo. Thank you!

Also, thank you to Deena in OR!
queek
January 15th, 2008 at 11:07 pm [Reply]

WC Fields: “I like little children. . . . .par-broiled.”

the “but I can’t eat a whole one” was attributed to Dorothy Parker last time it was posted here.

my personal favorite WC Fields line:

“Any man who hates small dogs and children can’t be all bad.”

followed directly after by “Oh, for a Maxwell Parachute”
Rainbird
January 15th, 2008 at 11:14 pm [Reply]

ChattyGenes 300 Sorry to confuse you.

Yes, UncleLumpy was talking about 1984, so I replied in the same mode. :)
Brick Bradford
January 15th, 2008 at 11:25 pm [Reply]

brb–Jaggers was the place with the rectangular pizzas–I ate a great many of them–and ate more than my share of meals at Ed Green’s resturant.

Ah yes, the dear old ditty about the, uh, young lady, who went to Agnes Scott and dated a guy from Tech.
“And now I am the proud mother of a nine pound engineer.”

Remember the countermen at The Varsity who used to yell, “Have your order in your head and your money in your hand!” If Burger King’s motto was “have it your way” The Varsity’s was “Have it our way or get the hell out!”.
Virginia
January 15th, 2008 at 11:35 pm [Reply]

241 F. Cecious Lee- I HAVE to find out this song you’re talking about now. because my Agnes Scottie cousin has been with a Tech guy for…gosh I don’t know…4 years now?

As for me, I went to college at Reinhardt (NW GA mountains), but have been living in Atlanta for about 3, 3.5 years now. and have many friends and relatives that are graduates of Emory, Agnes Scott, Tech, GSU, UGA (though of course that’s Athens), and out family grew up reading Grizzard. I reread his autobiography every once in a while; I highly recommend it.
Chokehold
January 15th, 2008 at 11:49 pm [Reply]

#282, SaberChick — ask Carol what she’d be comfortable with. Many people who are transgendered don’t mind or will even prefer to be asked directly about these things. Until you have an answer from her, I would refer to her by her current name and omit the fact that it was a male-only event; people who’ve known Carol that long will know what kind of event it was and others will simply assume she’s a kick-ass fencer… which would be true no matter her gender. :)
Poteet
January 16th, 2008 at 2:42 am [Reply]

No one will read this now, but what the heck — I babysat a fair amount in my youth, and it convinced me of two things — that I did like being with kids on an occasional basis and that I didn’t want to become a mother and thereby lose the occasional part. And now, off to the new thread.
Anna Nimity
January 16th, 2008 at 2:49 am [Reply]

#282 – Saberchick, I agree with Rusty. Post your query on Alison Bechdel’s blog (Dykes to Watch Out For) and you will receive approximately one zillion answers to your question, plus a complete deconstruction of gender politics and language, and probably some new vocabulary words thrown in at the same time. Lotsa thoughtful folks over there. Alison also has a couple of trans characters in her comic series.
Good luck!
teenchy
January 16th, 2008 at 9:27 am [Reply]

# 250: Yes, Everybody’s! Thanks for jogging my memory. When I was at Emory there was also a decent meat-and-three lunch place around the corner from there called Moto’s or something to that effect (Mojo’s?). I’m sure it’s long gone but it helped extend my stipend from time to time.
Braniff
January 16th, 2008 at 2:16 pm [Reply]

Here are my entries for the most despised characters:

1. Charlie Brown (of Peanuts fame). What a loser!! Cannot do anything right. Must have been the inspiration for Beaver Cleaver.

2. Snoopy. So full of himself. For once I found myself cheering for the Red Baron.

3. The entire Family Circus gang. ‘Nuff said!

4. Irving (of Cathy fame). Why doesn’t he walk out on her? Better yet, why did he marry Cathy in the first place? Had he done a background check he might have learned a few things beyond just her whining about shoes, swimsuits, lack of nose, parental problems and more.

5. The characters of Funky Winkerbean. With the exception of Harry Dinkle (the Colonel Blimp type bandleader of the high school who ends up in a mess because of his behavior), not funny–just boring.

On a side note, I really miss the days when the comic strip had its share of satire. Remember the time when Montoni got the President of the United States to declare his sign a national historic landmark?

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