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Metapost: It’s Friday I’m in COTW

Your COTW in a moment, but first, let me re-ask my earlier question as to whether anyone who works at a newspaper who has anything to do with the comics end of business could get ahold of me? THANKS! bio at jfruh dot com!

Anyway, here’s your COTW:

“Pluggers have a vague idea that fried chicken is in the news for some reason or another. Was it chicken? Maybe it was burgers. Pluggers get tired and confused sometimes. But remember when something pluggers liked was more popular than it is now? Oh, yeah. Hello, comfort zone.” –Dan

And your runners up! Very funny!

“Not only is he neither shy nor tall, he’s only a ‘young man’ if by young man you mean ‘Generic Apartment 3-G blond wearing a suit the likes of which America hasn’t seen since the Kennedy era.’” –Schroduck

“Ha! It’s funny because the workers are being exploited by the bourgeoisie, thus sending us headlong to the moment when the proletariat seizes the means of production. Remember: lollipops are the opiate of the masses.” –Nekrotzar

Family Circus: “The better question is this: How is Dolly watching the Olympics live? Is she a witch?” –The Ghost of Jarrod

“Sam’s behavior is logical. When you never have to pay for anything, you might as well not pay for the most expensive bottle in the cellar.” –Alfred E. Neuman

“Dawn’s inevitable book and movie deal will result in Roberto Benigni’s triumphant return to the silver screen as both Dawn and Wilbur in La vita è brutale: Figlia di un molestatore di panino. Cinema itself will die that day.” –Ed Dravecky

“Wow, looking at today’s Mark Trail, I realize I must have missed the entire ‘Rusty goes to the orthodontist’ story line.” –Mark B.

“Why does the artist make all the men look like they are wearing ballet tights? Is this really a decades-long tragic ballet about post-war suburban alienation? If so, let’s get on with the tragic suicide.” –geekwhisperer

“The cat lady dies, but Wilbur lives. Where is your God now?” –cheech wizard

“Really? It will cost $1200 to fix Marylou’s teeth? Hell, it will cost that much just to fix her hair!” –seismic-2

“My mind reels at all the possibilities of the avian version of awful erotic fiction. We can be certain that it involves a lot of squawking at 7am while people are trying to sleep in and then leaving messes on windshields.” –Chareth Cutestory

“It shatters my worldview to think that $1200 even exists in Momma’s universe. Also, teeth. What next, will they allude to Francis’s dignity?” –Doctor Handsome

“I feel like the first panel of Funky Winkerbean was written with help from a specialized Mad Libs sheet. [plural noun] are [positive adjective], but there always seems to be an [word that sounds smart/deep] of [synonym for 'sadness'] that comes with them.” –Agoraphobic Turtle

“I really wish they had gone all the way with their Titanic tribute, and let Dawn freeze to death, as Wilbur would only have enough room on the raft for himself and a dozen hoagies.” –Irrischano

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