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Metapost: Late comments of the week

I round out a day of multiposting blogging with the long-awaited comment of the week! This time with crucial formatting!

“I see that Judge Parker has made the artistic decision to tell us the thrilling tale of Steve’s war injury with people sitting in coffee shops and offices. If only there was more effective way to picture the event that no doubt earned Steve a Purple Heart. That immediacy could really draw the reader in.” –Master Mahan

And the runners-up (ever-hilarious):

“Dr. Drew may be a skilled young doctor and dashing playboy, but his internal monologues are strictly third-rate Mills & Boon. I can picture him standing over a patient in the operating room and thinking, ‘He has a broken heart … JUST LIKE ME!’, complete with his trademarked arm flaps. Next stop: the Santa Royale Institute for the Criminally Melodramatic.” –Mooncattie

“An ‘official’ prison break. Thank goodness. Those guys could’ve been sanctioned by the APBA.” –Weaselboy

“The Marmaduke family lives in a house with a door and a corner. And nothing else.” –Cody

“Of course Barfy is dead. You see that smile? That’s the unmistakable bliss of escaping those violent religious cretins for good. No living thing in the Keane Compound smiles like that unless it’s part of the regime.” –avatarjk137

Sciatica jokes are crap. Now, gout humor, that’s where the action is.” –Grover Cleveland

“The sheer number of times Margo has been mentioned the past two weeks, juxtaposed with her comparatively small amount of face time and her increasingly dictatorial style, leads me to believe that our Ms. Magee is finally ascending to the level of Big Brother-esque tyrannical ubiquity to which she’s been aspiring for so long. One can only hope the strip continues to parallel 1984 in other ways and Tommie’s face is eaten off by rats.” –Tats

Mary Worth: I got to give the old bag her props. She knows that ‘closure’ is a word that means ‘I’m going to rub your face in it until you whimper.’ Vera got her revenge. Drew is totally closured.” –Gabacho

“A date with Mary and Jeff: Sit. Stare at nothing in particular. Sit some more. Have some coffee. Fart on couch. Stare some more. Keep sitting. Hope someone in distress comes through the door so Madame Worth can do what she does best and break the tedium.” –Calico

“For a minute, I actually felt bad for Marvin, having to sit there between two old men griping about how the world isn’t the way it was when they were young, too small and weak to even walk away. But then I remembered that this is Marvin, and Marvin, and he always deserves it.” –Mac

“Have you ever thought about what it would look like if you ate straight out of the mixed Jelly Belly bin at the candy store until satisfaction passed through satiation and gave way to oversaturation and ultimately, inevitably, disrumination? You haven’t? It would look like that fucking shirt.” –One-eyed Wolfdog

“Drew, skiing in St. Moritz or sailing in the Caribbean sound fun. Incredibly fun! Which is why I couldn’t possibly let you do either one of them. Human enjoyment is anathema to me!” –BigTed

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69 responses to “Metapost: Late comments of the week”

  1. Poteet
    February 19th, 2008 at 1:25 am [Reply]

    Congratulations to Master Mahan and the float-ridin’ crew of hilarity and mirth! Good work all!

  2. Poteet
    February 19th, 2008 at 1:30 am [Reply]

    And in the “sponsors” sentence above, I think there is an extra “y.” The Pedantry Parade is not nearly so much fun as the COTW Parade, what with having to sweep up every single crumb along the route with a tiny broom and dustpan and mutter to oneself while onlookers roll their eyes. Time for bed — good night all.

  3. Trilobite
    February 19th, 2008 at 1:31 am [Reply]

    We really do need more gout humor in comics, although I have to admit that for a few years I thought that was what Dennis the Menace was building up to.

    .

    Rounding up the usual suspects in Tuesday’s comics:

    A3G: LuAnn is willing to change for the sake of Alan’s love. And if she can change into a giant bottle of gin, or perhaps two kilos of black tar heroin, this could be the most successful romance in A3G history!

    Gil Thorp: It’s nice of Seja’s uncle to take time out of his busy schedule of dogwalking and indecent exposure to peep through the windows of the Gregory household.

    It’s also nice to see a sports scene in Gil Thorp where the players actually seem to be aware of each other’s existence. Of course, if someone I was playing basketball with suddenly levitated off the ground at an angle and began vibrating uncontrollably, I’d pay attention, too. But hey, that’s still two players on the court who are obeying the laws of physics and basic human anatomy, so it’s a 66% improvement over the usual Gil Thorp panel.

    Mary Worth: I expected this, I really did, but somehow seeing it actually happening is just so much worse than I imagined. God, just the spectacle of poor Jeff Cory sagging in defeat, barely keeping himself upright by holding onto the shoulders of the silver-haired harridan who broke him to her will and the son he barely speaks to…it’s heartbreaking. I bet the poor bastard has talked himself into believing that it’s all for the best, too. He’s telling himself that at least this way the work gets done, and his son is safely out of Mary Worth’s clutches. After all, it’s not like she’d ever go to Vietnam twice, right? And the Vietnamese government wouldn’t grant her entry anyway.

  4. Josh
    February 19th, 2008 at 1:36 am [Reply]

    #3 Poteet — I fixed! thanks for your valient sweeping.

    Josh

  5. Rainbird
    February 19th, 2008 at 1:39 am [Reply]

    Congrats to the COTW as well as BigTed and Calico, as some of the runner ups. Glad you put them up Josh, as I missed those the last time.

  6. Vakar
    February 19th, 2008 at 1:46 am [Reply]

    Congratulations, float-riders, I tip my hat to you! Now could you throw me some of the candy you must have up there?

  7. Sarah in OR
    February 19th, 2008 at 2:01 am [Reply]

    “Valiant” needs another ‘a’… ahem! Anyway!

    I can’t wait for the next installment of Luann’s “The Lightbulb”!

    *Yawwwn.*

  8. mollificent
    February 19th, 2008 at 2:05 am [Reply]

    I must add, in the “shameless plug” department, that I clicked on the Shana Logic link and very shortly thereafter saw a t-shirt that I simply MUST have. The black shirt w/angel wings on the back is definitely perfect for those informal harp gigs. ;) As soon as I’ve recovered from the new apartment financial blues, that shirt is MINE. :D

    (I’m also lusting after the stripey fingerless gloves…another winter harp must!)

    OK, must read comics now so I can actually *snark*. “Someday my COTW will come…”

  9. True Fable
    February 19th, 2008 at 2:16 am [Reply]

    Dammit, I was at the end of my snark for the night and my annoyingly spastic laptop ate my whole post. Dammit dammit dammit! I quit for the now. Basically -

    Foob Stinks.
    PBS rocks.
    And Gil Thorp is featuring a basketball player with an arm growing out of her chest like in Alien, so there’s no real change in the art after all.

  10. Lindsey ^_^
    February 19th, 2008 at 2:31 am [Reply]

    GT: Maybe we were a little premature in saying that the awkward and hideous action scenes were gone. It turns out that Frank Bolle can’t draw action scenes either. The basketball games are still hideous. Hooray!

  11. Frank Parsnip
    February 19th, 2008 at 2:32 am [Reply]

    Congratulations COTWeekers!

    A3G: Lu Ann only cares about Alan’s love? What, like all the other dozens of generic blond men in this strip mean nothing to her? The nerve of this girl!

    The way that Lu Ann is drawn, I can’t help imagining all her dialogue spoken in the voice of Lambchop the puppet.

    GT: Thanks to panel 3, I am very glad to see that Frank Bolle is maintaining the strip’s well-known standards for having random diagonal-lurching teens engaging in awkward positions in sports. That’s a tradition I’d hate to have die out. Let’s just hope he can do a good job drawing disembodied alien claws.

    MT: I don’t get it. Bluto managed to survive the bear despite bears being pretty much able to do anything we can do better. They run faster than us, climb trees (how Bluto got away) and even swim faster. Given how badly Mrs. Malone shoots, bears probably even shoot better, particularly given the abundance of rifles haphazzardly abandoned by Mark Trail (in the water) and Bluto (right outside the den).

    Jugs Old Crone Parker: Who would want to hurt Steve? It’s an election season, and so I’d expect the PAC known as “JAG Veterans For the Truth” have something to do with this little package.

    Sex Organ, M.D.: So what about the doctor saving your life? If you shoot him, you might be able to save Niki from a weekend of sexual degradation.

    Slylock Fox: Nice crossover with Heathcliff or Garfield today! Cats sure love fish!

    MW: Ahhhh yes… a chance to continue his father’s work in Peace Village, Vietnam! Like we didn’t see this one coming as soon as Mary opened her piehole about Dr. Drew reconsidering going to St. Moritz this year. After a few years of work in Vietnam, he’ll be talking about how his bar-girl fees are “what he pays to get them to leave in the morning” and Vera’s diner shenanigans will be a distant memory.

    Someday, Drew’ll find his soulmate and get married out there. Forgetting himself, he’ll put a 20-dollar bill on the nightstand before he leaves for work early one morning and then get greatly disturbed when his new bride sleepily gives him a fiver back in change.

    However judging from the murderous look Drew is giving his father in panel 2, Drew is probably more likely to try his luck over at Chez Weston again.

    Funky Pantysniffer: I have to admit that Funky looks even massive than usual these past couple of days. The Pizza World journalists probably want to take pictures of him outside in hopes that the sunlight might counteract the light-sucking characteristics of the black hole that passes for his mouth. The enormous gravity of Funky Winkerbean also has the tendency to suck the fun out of this entire comic strip, which may be an explanation for many of the story arcs in recent months. My guess is that Dingle’s hearing, Lisa’s health, Becky’s arm and Wally’s head are now swirling about somewhere within Funky’s ginormous midsection for all eternity.

    Marvin: She wants to call it “Belly Laffs”? Well, don’t go near that Winkerbean belly, ma’am. That is all.

  12. mollificent
    February 19th, 2008 at 2:38 am [Reply]

    FW: Ugh. That is one industrial-strength, stomach-turning smirk.

    GF: Back on form! “The French 40-hour work week…” bwahahahaha! (I say this, btw, as an admirer of the French, not a detractor.)

    GT: Speaking of “having their hands full,” am I the only one who thinks blonde bob girl is reaching for the tit grab? (Side note: the sudden juxtaposition of A3G-style art on the stultifying GT universe is definitely going to take some getting used to.)

    JP: Apparently Steve told his mother he lost his legs in a toenail clipping incident gone horribly, horribly wrong.

    MW: Drew: “Hmmm…some of the bar girls in ‘Miss Saigon’ were pretty hot.”

    Diesel Sweeties: Yes, we all miss THAT Tom Cruise. Er, except for that horrifying “Far and Away” Irish accent travesty. That particular bit can stay buried forever, thanks.

  13. Mibbitmaker
    February 19th, 2008 at 2:55 am [Reply]

    On a previous thread’s theme of GT/A3G crossover:

    Try this on for size:

    Margo Magee marries Marty Moon. Match made in Milford. More misanthropy, mule! Much, much more.

  14. Alfred E. Neuman, Going Deeper
    February 19th, 2008 at 3:27 am [Reply]

    Tuesday’s snarks—
    GT— I hate to be a politically incorrect ageist, but hell, I’m old myself, so here goes. Bolle is really showing his age. Not because of the awkward sports scenes–artists of any age can draw those–but because he has drawn the Oakwood amazon shooting at a WOODEN backboard. Those went out of use over 50 years ago. Even one concedes that it might be metal, those went out of use over 40 years ago. We can’t see the legs of the players, but I suspect they’re wearing bloomers.

    FBOFW— LJ sure can’t tell a joke. What if Mike had said in panel 3, “When I was a kid, we called these ‘bonk beds’”? Hilarity then ensues, rather than “Huh?”

    JP— On Sunday, I predicted it would take Steve at least a week to open the package. It’s now Day 3 and holding….

    Luann— This is beginning to look like the dullest story line in the history of the comics. Crankshaft appears to be running a parallel story. Lightbulb versus toilet handle! Wheee! Do Evans and Batiuk exchange ideas? We need another dose of the machiavellian, ravenously incestuous bisexual harridan Bernice asap!

  15. Mibbitmaker
    February 19th, 2008 at 3:28 am [Reply]

    2/19:

    GT: Jeez, they got the whole family going Meddlin’ Mary on A-Train’s ass! Meanwhile — indeed the full-court wacky remains in the Bolle era: Looks like the opposition players have to be stretched on the rack before they can compete (Meddlin’ Mary? A-train’s ass? Can compete? What is it about all this that inspires alliteration, anyway? –There, I did it again!!)

    FC: Missing next panel: “…Plus I can club PJ with it!”

    N-S: Yeah, Wiley, we get it already: Stomp, stomp, stomp; “I hate Bush! I hate Iraq!” And the character uses the word “administration”?? Your obvious allegories aren’t even trying anymore.

    BBailey: Horny Killer takes comic strip bad puns on a stream-of-consciousness ride. Which, of course, stops right there, there being sexy women and all.

    MG&G: Look who’s talking, doggy! Also, I think we’re now way past fretting about the word “sucks” on the funny pages!!

    Nancy: And in Dubya’s case, age has nothing to do with it.

    H&L: Or maybe Hi just got a message from space aliens.

    Curtis: So his paper was essentially the same as other classmates. Appropriately, that’s just like an Obama speech.

  16. Carly
    February 19th, 2008 at 4:10 am [Reply]

    This week wins in the comments.

  17. Spotted HØrse, Jungle Steed
    February 19th, 2008 at 4:16 am [Reply]

    #16 mollificent:

    FW: Ugh. That is one industrial-strength, stomach-turning smirk.

    Good heavens. Funky looks weirdly avian in that smirk shot.

    FOOB: Michael’s tapping into his Inner Coot in panel 3, that is, hiking up his pants, staring off into space å la Papa Foob, and making some pointless observation about his youth. Gaah.

  18. JamesK
    February 19th, 2008 at 4:21 am [Reply]

    I just had to delurk long enough to say:

    Yay! The sports scenes in GT are still hilariously incompetent! Yes, they’re better drawn. Yes, the artist appears to have once actually seen an Earth Human in person, if only from a distance. But the bodies still move in ways that make no physical or physiological sense! Hurray!

    I checked special before bed.

  19. Mr. O'Malley
    February 19th, 2008 at 4:41 am [Reply]

    As I mentioned a few days back, we went off to spend the weekend in a hot tub under the towering redwoods. I’m still not sure whether the Chinese ginger chicken or the bison marinated in coffee took the culinary prize. (Seriously—look up the recipe.) There’s a case of champagne and a bottle of single malt Scotch that met their match though!

    I haven’t caught up with the strips and the posts quite yet, so I hesitate to post on current topics.

    On the way back home we stopped to visit some friends of my wife’s that she knows from a different context. It turned out they had a great collection of comics anthologies. They even had the complete Little Nemo in Slumberland anthology that I wish we could afford. Maybe I should start looking on eBay.

    So I have to say that the Little Nemo from Washington’s birthday 1905 is the funniest Washington’s birthday strip I have ever seen. And strangely enough it rather reminded me of Lio.

    OK, one semi-current topic, Pluggers and self-winding watches. There must be several generations by now that have never encountered self-winding watches. “You’re a Plugger if you remember there was such a thing as self-winding watches.”

    For you younger people, at one time watches operated from a clockwork mechanism driven by the energy stored in a coiled spring, which had to be periodically rewound by turning a winding mechanism. But some time in the 1960s there came the idea that the natural movement of your arm could be used to retighten the spring without any other intervention.

    This technological innovation lasted only a few years before being replaced by the next technological innovation—the watch battery.

    But in the meantime my father purchased a self-winding watch from the USSR at the Soviet Pavilion at Expo ’67.

    Now it may be that the citizens of the Soviet Union led much more strenuous lives than the effete capitalists. Or perhaps it may be that the Soviet Union never managed to produce decent watches.

    But the upshot of the matter was that my father’s Russian self-winding watch kept running down. The only way he could keep it going was to adopt a series of arm-waving exercises, which he performed regularly before dinner every night.

    At some future time I may reveal the story of my father and the amazingly discounted Rolex he bought from a street vendor in Hungary.

    I was thinking about getting my wife to get me a self-winding watch for my next significant event. They still make them. But I wanted one that shows the phases of the moon, and they are a bit too pricey.

  20. John C Fremont
    February 19th, 2008 at 6:10 am [Reply]

    GT – Back on the court, where one girl is about to have her hand full, if I know what I mean. And I think that I do.

    MT – After all that exciting action over the past few days, now we have to get bogged down with (sigh) plot development. Dammit, somebody do some shootin’ or punchin’ right now! The Christian Singles lady demands it!

    MW – “Geez, Mary, I think you misunderstood. I just wanted to ski, do some coke and have lots of sex. I thought I was pretty clear about that. Well, in so many words.”

    RMMD – You mean you’re not gonna shoot him?! Dammit! What is wrong with the comics today? What do you think we pay you people for?

    SS – Mykerwave? They’s gots ‘lectricity?

  21. gleeb
    February 19th, 2008 at 6:36 am [Reply]

    9CL: Jamaal: “Did you hear the bland, platitudinous speech that political candidate gave?”

    A3G: She surprised Alan so much, his necktie showed up again in the third panel.

    BB: Plagued by graffiti? Round up and harass teenage girls. It’s the comics way!

    ‘shaft: “And no, I didn’t wash my hands!”

    Dick: “Cole Lector”? Can we go back to endless recaps of the fact that the Chief had her portrait painted and has been abducted?

    FBoFW: Deanna is trotted out to become the butt of some slapstick. In the movie version of FBoFW, she will be played by Emil Jannings.

    ‘bean: So, a small trade publication send a writer and a photographer to Cancerdeathville, Ohio just to write a story about some pizza joint, and don’t do enough homework to know who started the business or how he disappeared under mysterious circumstances? I’m assuming that last part, since Funky comes off as such an ass since the jump.

    Parker: Well, there’s Randy Parker, after he realizes that a young, handsome vet who’s also a dedicated lawyer could not only push him out of his own practice, but also his entire comic strip.

    Mary: Dr Daddy’s posture as he admits he can’t stop thinking of the sick children he abandoned is priceless.

    Pearls: The only comics commentary on the newspaper that’s sounded like anything but whining lately.

  22. Mischief Maker
    February 19th, 2008 at 6:49 am [Reply]

    “I see that Judge Parker has made the artistic decision to tell us the thrilling tale of Steve’s war injury with people sitting in coffee shops and offices. If only there was more effective way to picture the event that no doubt earned Steve a Purple Heart. That immediacy could really draw the reader in.” –Master Mahan

    But having that scene take place in a battlezone in Iraq would prevent the Judge Parker artist from doing what he loves best: Drawing women with big boobs staring at the nearest male with uncontrollable lust, even when that male is Raju.

  23. One-eyed Wolfdog
    February 19th, 2008 at 7:17 am [Reply]

    #6 – Vakar – Now could you throw me some of the candy you must have up there?
    I’m pretty sure you don’t want mine.

  24. Wanders
    February 19th, 2008 at 7:55 am [Reply]

    MW: Is Dr. Drew Corey’s Moy and Giella sweater available at the Comics Curmudgeon Gear store?

  25. Wanders
    February 19th, 2008 at 7:56 am [Reply]

    Damn. I meant Jeff Corey’s sweater. Can’t tell the two apart.

  26. Islamorada Girl
    February 19th, 2008 at 8:15 am [Reply]

    Ha! I said MW was going to exile Dr. Drew, Playah, to Viet Nam!
    Maybe he will return with a Viet wife, which would be a first in this bleached white strip where no minorities need apply.

  27. Agnostic Married Woman
    February 19th, 2008 at 8:30 am [Reply]

    #14: I remember when the metal backboards were replaced in our gym with glass. I went to a pretty small school, so at the time, we only had one gym for grades K-12. I think I was in about second grade at the time, so that was only about 26 years ago.

  28. AtomicDog of the Paleolithic Patrol
    February 19th, 2008 at 8:48 am [Reply]

    BC – Is this the first time a (relatively accurately drawn) carnosaur has appeared in BC?

    This strip is really getting good again. R.I.P., Johnny.

  29. smacky
    February 19th, 2008 at 8:49 am [Reply]

    GT: Basketball is easy when you have the twins from “The Parent Trap” double teaming you.

  30. McManx
    February 19th, 2008 at 9:18 am [Reply]

    Can you qualify for “comments of the week” by commenting on the “comments of the week”?

  31. McManx
    February 19th, 2008 at 9:30 am [Reply]

    GT – I hadn’t noticed myself until I read it here, but Gil does indeed have a new artist. Different. Not sure it’s better. Somehow I will miss the 60′s newspaper fashion ad clip art look that we’ve all made fun of.

  32. dimestore lipstick
    February 19th, 2008 at 9:36 am [Reply]

    AtomicDog of the Paleolithic Patrol –
    Johnny is probably doing anything but. Given the recent strips that have acknowledged evolution, I have a feeling he’s spinning rapidly in his grave.

  33. Brick Bradford of the Space Jungle Patrol
    February 19th, 2008 at 9:51 am [Reply]

    So, Drew just wants to get over a romance gone wrong, and Mary thinks he should turn into Albert Schweitzer? Meanwhile it slowly sinks in to Dr. Jeff that his meaningful life is over and he can either
    inject himself with something lethal, or stay with Mary. Either will be soul killing.

  34. AtomicDog of the Paleolithic Patrol
    February 19th, 2008 at 10:04 am [Reply]

    32 dimestore lipstick: I know, but I was trying to say that it seemed to take Hart’s death to improve the strip, without being disrespectful about it.

  35. Bootsy
    February 19th, 2008 at 10:06 am [Reply]

    Mary’s gonna meddle Drew clear to Vietnam! Can I have my “Moy and Giella 2-19″ shirt in institutional green, please?

  36. Virginia
    February 19th, 2008 at 10:14 am [Reply]

    Great COTWs, as always. I missed most of these (stupid job, making me work instead of reading 200+ comments!) so always nice to have a 2nd chance.

    14-AEN- Thank you! I was thinking the same thing, re: FOOB. Also, “bonk” would work better with “bunk” than “bump.” My guess is that even LJ can’t stand to read her strip anymore, so what we see are the first and only drafts.

    Am I the only one who finds drunk dinosaurs brawling funny? It actually took me a moment, because I didn’t realize B.C. was going to actually have a running storyline.

    MW- Run, Dr. Jeff Cory! Can’t you see, Mary is trying to separate you from everyone and everything you love, so you can be hers all hers, and then the final absorption of your soul can begin.

  37. Artist formerly known as Ben
    February 19th, 2008 at 10:15 am [Reply]

    2/19

    Congratulations to the COTWers, on this fine Tuesday morning.

    And now the news.

    JP: So let me get this straight. If you’re a Marine (right branch) JAG, and you exonerate your countrymen, and as a result you have a Taliban death threat hanging over your head… If all this happens, the government will just send you out on your own, with no security or anything? Well that goes toward explaining their recruitment problem.

    Garfield: Thank God. For a second I thought he was talking about Liz.

    RMMD: “Leave him be, Lee. He’s got a hot wife he never sleeps with. Sound familiar?”

    Luann: Yeah, hell of a thing. Light bulbs are still hot right after you turn ‘em off. I’ve known that since I was four but, hey, we all learn at our own pace.

    SFx: It’s a Garfield cameo. Jon seems to have been replaced by a “Deal or No Deal” model.

    A3G: Barbie tries to have a real moment with a drunk and evasive Ken.

    Phantom: “Notorious Killer? What’s Jerry Lee Lewis done this time?”

    BeBa: One of the people Killer’s rounded up is Monica Lewinsky. Both he and Gen Halftrack seem excited, for obvious reasons.

    BaBl: Maybe he’s using “shorty” in the hip-hop sense.

    Momma: Another delightful story from Mr Kafka.

    Archie: From the scale, that comic could only be an Archie or Betty and Veronica digest. The meta is blowing my mind, man.

    OBH: OK, I’ll bite. What does a Vulcan slave hog look like?

    9CL: As Jack Lemmon says to Tony Curtis in “Some Like It Hot,” nobody talks like that!

    S-M: Goes over old ground with the proportionate ennui of a spider. Or Dick Tracy.

    GA: Copper plumbing? So the most wanted criminal in America will be picked up trying to fence his loot to Fred Sanford?

    GT: I’ll say the girls have their hands full. One of them looks like she’s trying to grab a handful, if you get my drift.
    Also, it may be a rough adjustment for Frank Bolle to draw a strip where most of the characters of either sex walk around in baggy sweats. Neal Rubin could have to write a lot of tag sale panels.

    DtM: Is Margaret preparing to work her way through college as a call girl? I’m sure she could get some mileage out of the studious redhead thing.

  38. man behind the curtain
    February 19th, 2008 at 10:25 am [Reply]

    MW — So in his entire long life, some of Dr. jeff’s most rewarding work was what, the month or so he spent at Peace Village before he got deathly ill and almost expired. What does that say for his distinguished medical career? And of course, now that he’s recovered he sure as hell isn’t going back. So perhaps Dr. Drewfuss can go in his place and while he’s there he can have an affair with his Amerasian half-sister. Meanwhile, why don’t we see more of Dr. Jeff’s daughter, the forgotten Cory?

  39. Poteet
    February 19th, 2008 at 10:27 am [Reply]

    # 9 — Sir Fable MTK, deep sympathies re the spastic laptop. We must make certain your spastic laptop never meets my deeply troubled computer, lest they reproduce.

    BABY BLUES — Apologies if I’m repeating someone. I came across the 2/15 BB last night and noticed that Baby Wren had been put down to sleep on her tummy, a safety no-no. When Lynn Johnston did the same to one of the infants in her strip, she caught unshirted hell. Now I think she should be flattered that some readers wanted to save the kid from possible death. I’m probably one of the few BB readers who thinks “Wren” isn’t an annoying name, and I still don’t care whether the freakish-looking bubble-headed child lives to grow up.

  40. Poteet
    February 19th, 2008 at 10:28 am [Reply]

    # 38 man — Be careful what you wish for…

  41. Poteet
    February 19th, 2008 at 10:36 am [Reply]

    # 7 Sarah — Thanks to you, I just realized that I prefer watching a lightbulb being changed to watching Luann’s endless whining. I really must review my reasons for following this strip.

  42. Niall
    February 19th, 2008 at 10:37 am [Reply]

    It’s time for WTF Tuesday!

    BC: Continuity?? WTF? Since when? Completely nonsensical and unfunny setup yesterday, semi-funny joke today. It does show the perils of drinking very nicely, though (screws up self-preservation abilities).

    BB: Missing second panel of Sarge delegating. Or are they trying to be subtle? WTF? Also, unseen panel following: orgy time. Look at Killer’s wiggling. Look at the General’s biiiiiig smile. What else can it lead to??

    Blondie: The postal employee’s argument is 100% right! WTF? Dagwood gets pwned in his own comic?

    Curtis: WTF is with Gunk’s face?? He tells Curtis to be happy he has two nostrils – because he himself has none! Plus his two eyes are arranged vertically, not horizontally. I’m not sure I ever want to experience what that feels like. (It can be done, though – they have special glasses that can flip around visual input 180 degrees to show that people relearn quickly how to walk, and once they’re off, have to re-relearn balance, to show the brain’s adaptability.)

    DtM: …did… …did Dennis just call Gloria a bitch?? WTF? Actual menace?

    DT: COLE LECTOR??????? I nearly spewed my orange juice on the monitor!! WTF, Locher? You’ve completely lost your brain! Mind you, I think the real WTFery is that the plot actually advanced forward today!

    Garfied: Actually funny and cat-oriented! And I tried, and couldn’t put a sexual spin on it! WTF?

    GT: We were awaiting head-bobbles. But lo! We are given full-body bobbles!! And the Snark Gods were pleased and appeased.

    MT: The diet of moose include lichen and elrodballs.

    Big Dog: My first – and continued – interpretation is that Marm’s choking on a huge bone stuck in his throat and the kids are panicking.

    MW: Annnnd the Mudges win again! Which is rather depressing, when you think about it.

    MC: I can’t say much, as panel 1 is dead-on for me. I’d substitute ‘art’ for writing in panel 2. But Norm? <i?You have a fiancée. You’re ahead of what, 40% of the population? Stop your kvetching already!

    PBS: I wonder how much Pastis was tempted to write “eat” instead of “kill” in panel 2.

  43. Red Greenback of the Christian Single Patrol
    February 19th, 2008 at 10:48 am [Reply]

    Congrats, Master Mahan and the Super Comments o’ the Weekers! I was playing cacth up last week on all the comments ’til my eyelids were at half-staff until I scanned across these gems (and many others) which would awaken me fully resulting in a Scaduto-like “H-H-HUH?!…WHAZZAT?!…OOK, OOOK, OOOOK!!!!!

  44. Calico
    February 19th, 2008 at 10:56 am [Reply]

    Drew is trying so hard not to break that 4th wall, but he’s looking at us as if to say “It’s you all.
    You all at the CC – you’re in on this with Mary! You just…want to *groan* get rid of meeeee!”

    Look at it this way, Drew – there’s plenty of your type of, um, entertainment available over there, and you are a doctor with access to medicines just in case, so have at it, you young, horny, and restless soul, you. And don’t forget to heal the children while you’re at it.

  45. Hank
    February 19th, 2008 at 10:56 am [Reply]

    RE: Dick Tracy. Pity “Cole Lector.” Just as Jerry VanDyke, Frank Stallone and Don Swayze all tried, and failed, to follow in the footsteps of their more successful brothers, Hannibal the Cannibal’s younger sibling found out that he couldn’t make a goal of it in the serial killer game… so he lowered his sights to kidnapping mishapen public officials in a zombie comic strip. Oh, well, if Dick doesn’t dispatch him in a gruesome manner six months from now, maybe he can join a Baldwin brother on a future edition of “Celebrity Apprentice.”

  46. Skullturf Q. Beavispants
    February 19th, 2008 at 11:00 am [Reply]

    Today’s Archie becomes brilliant if you remove the last panel. That way, it ends with panel two, where both Archie and Jughead silently sit in sad realization and resignation, as the echoes of the words “lousy comic” and “story stinks” and “art stinks” ring in their ears.

  47. Artist formerly known as Ben
    February 19th, 2008 at 11:00 am [Reply]

    #42 Niall

    MT: The diet of moose include lichen and elrodballs.

    This sentence does not make me envy Jack Elrod. Ouch!

  48. Hank
    February 19th, 2008 at 11:04 am [Reply]

    RE: Foob “Bump” beds? Is that a real Canadian expression for “bunk beds” or is Michael turning into the world’s youngest plugger before our very eyes?

    RE: Gil Thorp. I still miss Frank McLaughlin, but it’s good to see that the “Apt 3G” guy can’t draw action any better. Check out the “jumper” standing on a box, shaking and waving at the ball in panel three.

    RE: Spiderman. Since our “hero” has so little regard for his wife as anything but an appendage in the first place (even though she’s apparently their primary source of income), maybe he should just ask her to sleep with Krandis and get him to admit he’s behind the attacks on the Bugle during some post-coital pillow talk. Nah, MJ might realize that an evil millionaire is still better than a husband who watches TV all day…at least the evil millionaire has some ambition.

  49. AhClem
    February 19th, 2008 at 11:08 am [Reply]

    Herb & Jamaal – Jamaal’s sad expression upon gazing into Herb’s pants tells me all I need to know about the bitter disappointment he feels, now that the man-love honeymoon is apparently over.

  50. Gregoire
    February 19th, 2008 at 11:09 am [Reply]

    #45 – Don Swayze is Cameron’s brother? Takes a licking…

  51. Calico
    February 19th, 2008 at 11:16 am [Reply]

    #9 – True, if I am going to post more than a few sentences that my pea-brain can actually retain, I either write the post on a Word doc or save an e-mail to myself and write my preliminary post there.
    It’s not fun to have enlightening snark eaten by a voracious processor.

    #10 – Sweet relief! The jock-freaks still exist. And we have Auntie Margo to boot.

  52. Calico
    February 19th, 2008 at 11:21 am [Reply]

    #42, #47 – Lost Forest Oysters!
    OK, now I really need to take my meds. Ouch.

  53. El Santo
    February 19th, 2008 at 11:50 am [Reply]

    GT — All of you who predicted that Bolle artwork would lead to a 300% increase in head bobbles, take a bow.

  54. Skullturf Q. Beavispants
    February 19th, 2008 at 12:00 pm [Reply]

    Bolle replacing McLaughlin is like Gary Cherone replacing Sammy Hagar.

  55. Hank
    February 19th, 2008 at 12:05 pm [Reply]

    RE: 54. No, while I’m a Diamond Dave fan myself, Hagar was indisputably a talented singer on his own. This is more like Sanjaya following William Hung on “American Idol.”

  56. The Divine O’F
    February 19th, 2008 at 12:11 pm [Reply]

    19 Mr. O’Malley and others, re the self-winding watch in yesterday’s Pluggers. We did have those in the early eighties. I was very proud of mine; it seemed a miracle of modern engineering. The only time it ever ran down was once in 1982 when I had the flu and was so sick I pretty much didn’t get out of bed for two weeks.

  57. gh
    February 19th, 2008 at 12:17 pm [Reply]

    (ISG*)GT

    Well, it’s back in the paper. They ran yesterday’s and today’s today. I don’t imagine it was reinstated due to a ground swell of support from fans. My theory is the editor looked at yesterday’s strip and couldn’t decide if it still belonged in the Sports section. His answer was, ultimately, “No,” but there was no room on the comics page, so he was stuck with it anyway. I find it disturbing to see the Milford girls out shopping for coats. Clearly Bolle is more comfortable in this new setting, what with Margo and all, but damn it, they’re teenagers, even if they don’t look like them. They should be hanging out at The Bucket!I don’t recognize any of these “people.” And check out the hat in panel one today. It’s freaking me out.

    *I Still Get [in the paper]. I still don’t “get” GT, of course.

  58. Gagott68
    February 19th, 2008 at 12:23 pm [Reply]

    GT: Is the Oakwood girl shot-putting the ball through the hoop? I didn’t think people shot like that after the 3rd grade. Or after the early 1940s. Kind of like the solid core back-board that doesn’t have the target box behind the rim that is pretty much standard nowadays.

    MT: And Mark still hasn’t figured out what the connection between Widow Malone and Luke Wilson is? Can anyone really be surprised by that? He probably is thinking, “Gee, that’s an awful lot of effort to protect someone you play pinochle with on Sunday afternoon.”

    BeBa: Note that the most interesting persons in today’s strip are not regular characters.

    FOOB: One more good knock in the head any maybe Deanna will awaken from her Peyton Place-like fugue state.

  59. Darkefang
    February 19th, 2008 at 12:25 pm [Reply]

    Archie: I guess Scarpelli and Boldman are bitter about the fact that the Archie comic book are collector’s items, while the Archie comic strip is used to wrap fish and housebreak puppies.

    BC: Masin is clearly not a drinker. People drinking whiskey are the ones who get into fistfights. People drinking gin sit around the local women’s society complaining that the help are stealing silverware and that the latest Paris fashions show too much ankle.

    DT: Every time the word “kidnap” appears in Dick Tracy this week, everybody has to drink. But first, someone should alert the Alcohol Poisoning Center.

    GT: And here we were worried that Gil Thorpe wouldn’t still be insane. In panel three today, we see that the Milford girl’s team starts at least two of the Stepford Cuckoos. I’m not even going to hazard a guess as to why they’re so mesmerized by the Oakwood girl’s chest.

    Marvin: Humorous, eh? So, it’ll be nothing like “Marvin”?

    Phantom: So now He-Whose-Ass-Has-Purple-Stripes is going to help women catch the badguy because they can’t possibly do it for themselves. The Phantom is already vaguely racist, so there’s really no reason to not make it vaguely sexist as well.

    Pluggers: And Lizzie Borden was a plugger parent-hugger.

    S-M: Spidey isn’t worried about Krandis stealing Mary Jane from him. Krandis is a highly successful businessman and a powerful criminal. And Peter knows that M-J likes her men ineffectual.

  60. One-eyed Wolfdog
    February 19th, 2008 at 12:26 pm [Reply]

    Buckles, reduced to its core, is a bleak, bleak world of existential doubt.

  61. One-eyed Wolfdog
    February 19th, 2008 at 12:27 pm [Reply]

    Perhaps teleological doubt is more accurate. Buckles, we had better acknowledge, operates at many levels.

  62. gh
    February 19th, 2008 at 12:35 pm [Reply]

    #60, 61 One-eyed Wolfdog –

    Existential, teleological, whatever. This is twice now you’ve subjected me to this comic. I don’t get it. Why is the dog’s punishment being forced to wear a green sweater and sit in front of a microphone? Is it karaoke night in the East Village?

  63. AhClem
    February 19th, 2008 at 12:48 pm [Reply]

    “Buckles” is about the only strip I don’t read in the newspaper*. It’s the same 3 or 4 animal-oriented gags, repeated ad nauseum. (And how is this different from Garfield, BigDog and others? Other than the fact that the animals speak to each other and their owners in English, not much.)

    *I also used to not read FC, DtM,H&L and JP, but then I found this place. Curses upon you, Josh!

  64. gh
    February 19th, 2008 at 12:58 pm [Reply]

    #63 AhClem –

    Hey! I used to not read Mary Worth! Top that!

  65. The Divine O’F
    February 19th, 2008 at 1:00 pm [Reply]

    Sorry, folks, but I’m liking the new Gil Thorp. I was worried that it would henceforth show realistic athletes, but today’s installment reassured me that we will continue to see physically impossible athletic feats, such as the one in panel three. Though the right arm of the shooter is nearly correctly drawn, I have hope that we will soon be seeing arms and legs attached at unlikely angles. Gil Thorp, home of the alien invasion, lives!

  66. Gold-Digging Nanny
    February 19th, 2008 at 1:16 pm [Reply]

    9CL: Ha ha! If you engage in civic duties such as voting, you’re a sucker! Better to curse the darkness!

    Archie: Is this what they call meta?

    GT: The bobbles have begun! The bobbles have begun!

    Luann: Hey Luann’s dad … curse the darkness!

    Momma: It was only a matter of time before the bestiality started. I only hope this means they’ve run out of incest jokes.

  67. Little Guy
    February 19th, 2008 at 1:47 pm [Reply]

    66: {Lucy}YOU STUPID DARKNESS!{/Lucy}

  68. fishmorgjp
    February 19th, 2008 at 1:50 pm [Reply]

    Maybe that comic book in Archie is an Archie title, done in that “updated” anime style…

  69. Master Mahan
    February 20th, 2008 at 11:13 pm [Reply]

    Well, that’s another fulfilled goal I can check off my list. Now I just need to finish my book, visit Tokyo, and seduce Jewel Staite.

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