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Friday quickies

Marvin, 9/7/12

Yes, Jeff, don’t you find your wife as sexually appealing as she was when she was 12? Be very careful about how you answer this question! Today’s Marvin has been cleverly designed to elicit sighs of relief when the strip moves back to its usual jokes about soiled diapers.

Hi and Lois, 9/7/12

Look, Chip, don’t expect coherent answers from your dad when he’s lounging theatrically in his man-cave and listening to his old records and smoking tons of weed, OK?

Momma, 9/7/12

Ha ha, it’s funny because Momma knows Francis doesn’t have any friends!

186 responses to “Friday quickies”

  1. Dennis Jimenez
    September 7th, 2012 at 8:32 am [Reply]

    I love Booker T. and the Washingtonians….

  2. Chareth Cutestory
    September 7th, 2012 at 8:33 am [Reply]

    Marvin: Jenny signed up for Facebook so she could spam her friends and relatives with images of her little shit machine.

  3. Jocelyn Knockersbury
    September 7th, 2012 at 8:36 am [Reply]

    Momma: “Stop being so sarcastic about ‘good eats,’ you little brat. You know damn well that the only thing I cook is burnt canned hash.”

    MW: Dawn needs her eyes opened to other people because… she has never seen other people? Like on the cruise ship, both pre- and post-catastrophe? Or the 8-12 guys who dump her each year? Or at college? I dunno, guys, either Mary’s meddling skills are waning or this is phase one of an elaborate trap.

  4. pugfuggly
    September 7th, 2012 at 8:37 am [Reply]

    H&L LPs? That’s funny, I read ‘lips’. For some reason I just couldn’t stop thinking about giant flesh-toned lips….

    ASM Clown-9 obviously knows that Spiderman is a horrible bigot when it comes to carny folk and thus can’t tell one clown from another.

    A3G “There’s always room for another friend at the table!” The professor’s subtle endorsement a sexually-open relationship might be a little forward, but let’s face it, if anyone should be down with polyamoury, it would be Margo.

    MT Rusty storylines are kind of like the bush leagues of Mark Trail: he may be pretty stupid, but so are the crooks, so it’s still entertaining to watch.

    MW “You know, there’s a nice rich old man in the gerontology ward who would do just about anything for a shot at a pretty thing like you before he kicks the bucket…”

  5. Liam
    September 7th, 2012 at 8:38 am [Reply]

    MW-The kind of people we shelter away from the eyes of society. The fat, the ugly, the crippled, the homosexual, the non-white. Those people who believe in things other than me, Mary Worth.

    JP-Pot? Who cares about pot? You can see pot anywhere but Old Hard now that is a rarity.

  6. Oregonian
    September 7th, 2012 at 8:39 am [Reply]

    Um… Why does Hi have three pictures of TJ from Weenie World on his wall?

  7. Flonatin of Bologna
    September 7th, 2012 at 8:43 am [Reply]

    Lockhorns: OMG! What’s next? Loretta comes home with a Chippendales dancer?

    Ziggy: Ripped from the headlines…of 1987.

  8. The Ridger
    September 7th, 2012 at 8:44 am [Reply]

    MW: Dawn just needs a nice doctor to stalk marry.

  9. Mibbitmaker
    September 7th, 2012 at 8:44 am [Reply]

    Curtis: Chipped? Sure it’s chipped — all the way up to the gumline.

    Luann: Then nobody says it to the other, and it gets melodramatically drawn out, agonizingly forever! It’s Near-Miss-o-palooza’s first cousin Miscommunication-o-rama. And it sucks!

    MW: And remember: Saying no to Mary Worth is brutal.

    RwO: This talk show will get sued by Worldwide Pants.

    S-M: This can’t get stupider. It’s not even possible. But yet, I fear it will…

    Ziggy: Uncle Sam, please kick Tom Wilson’s ass? (like I have to ask)

  10. seismic-2
    September 7th, 2012 at 9:08 am [Reply]

    SM: “Diving into a gaggle of clowns won’t save you!” Sadly, that’s the most profound advice Peter has ever shared with anyone.

  11. Digger
    September 7th, 2012 at 9:10 am [Reply]

    Marvin: It’s sad that Jenny considers her dorky, awkward adolescence to be the pinnacle of her beauty. But then again, maybe her juinior high p[icture reminds her of a happier time in her life, before she gave birth to The Omen.

  12. Chyron HR
    September 7th, 2012 at 9:12 am [Reply]

    H&L – It’s funny because “groovy” actually refers to a woman’s naughty bits.

    (The fact that Hi is apparently wearing giant white condoms for socks elicits a chuckle as well, but that might just be me getting Freudian.)

  13. Squeak
    September 7th, 2012 at 9:12 am [Reply]

    Oh wow, man. Even the music looks like smoke waves. Far out man.

  14. AhClem
    September 7th, 2012 at 9:18 am [Reply]

    H&L – “Alone Again Naturally” always brings Hi back to those blissful times before he had a wife, kids, and a suburban hell existence.

  15. Crankenstank
    September 7th, 2012 at 9:18 am [Reply]

    As with most Marvin cartoons, if they had simply used the word “POOP!” in the last balloon, it would be funnier and more in keeping with the basic theme of the strip, which is that life is full of poop and then you get old and die.

  16. Little Blue Bicycle
    September 7th, 2012 at 9:18 am [Reply]

    H&L: Hi has a great RCA 1965 stereo system he bought last week from Mark Trail.

  17. The Ghost of Jarrod
    September 7th, 2012 at 9:20 am [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#9):

    Luann – Exactly. If you can’t say “I love you” to someone because it might put pressure on them to say it back, rather than it being “real,” then nobody ever says it, and within a generation, our species dies out.

    Of course, Luann could try simply communicating with Quill, telling him honestly how she feels about him and asking if he honestly feels the same way. But that’s how mature people handle things, and I’ve seen no sign of that from Luann.

  18. Trouty Mouth
    September 7th, 2012 at 9:20 am [Reply]

    It’s probably Booker T and the MGs, which Wikipedia informs me was an influential Southern soul band.

    The thing that amuses me about older strips like Hi & Lois, heck even newer strips like Zits that I’m guessing are done by older artists, is that they are firmly stuck in the idea that the parents are a product of the 60s when they are obviously much younger.

  19. Crankenstank
    September 7th, 2012 at 9:21 am [Reply]

    Today’s Hi and Lois is a good illustration of creeping anachronisms in strips where the characters never age yet they wish to have one of those “back in my day…” rants from a parent figure as the source of humor. For Hi to have a solid Vinyl collection, he’d have to be significantly older than he’s depicted in the strip. The authors at Walker Enterprises are obviously talking about *their* old days, not Hi’s. But it’s beyond their experiential reference frame to make a pithy joke about how much better CDs were than an iTunes download.

  20. Downpuppy
    September 7th, 2012 at 9:22 am [Reply]

    Family Circus, Panel 2 : FU

  21. Anonymous
    September 7th, 2012 at 9:22 am [Reply]

    Hi and Lois: How the hell did Hi acquire his collection of Roy Lichtenstein paintings?

  22. Rusty
    September 7th, 2012 at 9:23 am [Reply]

    Chip seems to have shrunk down to a pre-teen’s size in this installment. Hi only smokes the finest cannabis. He has previously been depicted as a Dead Head, so this all makes sense.

  23. Crankenstank
    September 7th, 2012 at 9:24 am [Reply]

    Here, I’ll fix the strip:

    Chip: What are you listening to?

    Hi: Some of my old CDs.

    Hi: I could really “dig” digital music back when it was in the form of low-compression high-bitrate laser encoding instead of lossy compressed formats with rights management restrictions.

  24. Nekrotzar
    September 7th, 2012 at 9:24 am [Reply]

    Someone needs to explain to Hi that In-a-gadda-da-vida was released on CD decades ago. And the drum solo is still boring.

  25. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    September 7th, 2012 at 9:25 am [Reply]

    3G – I’m gonna predict they’ll find Professor Popofftoomuch in the Conservatory. Lead pipe.

    Slylock – Bad guys of the world beware! Slylock Fox is showing kids how to draw a resting cowboy.

  26. TheDiva
    September 7th, 2012 at 9:25 am [Reply]

    Marvin: Hey, I didn’t know child molestation stings were a work-from-home gig!

    Momma: Momma squashes her son’s dreams of having any sort of meaningful human contact beyond herself. Woman makes Lysa Arryn look like a free-range parent.

  27. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    September 7th, 2012 at 9:26 am [Reply]

    Snuffy – If Jughaid thinks that tie is long, hot, and suffocating, wait until he has to wear the kind that doesn’t clip on.

    Crankshaft – They can laugh. They still have mailboxes.

  28. Crankenstank
    September 7th, 2012 at 9:27 am [Reply]

    @Rusty (#22): maybe he’s listening to Steve Martin’s “Let’s get SMALL” routine.

  29. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    September 7th, 2012 at 9:28 am [Reply]

    DickA Moon… a Girl… JUSTICE. [*]

    Herb – Oh yeah, 8-track cassettes! Those were eventually replaced by CD LPs.

    Lio – Nothing spelled out in the web? Some gyp.

  30. Marc
    September 7th, 2012 at 9:28 am [Reply]

    9CL- As terrible and unreadable as this has been, I’m even more dreading seeing Big Gay Seth’s reaction to whatever the her answer ends up being. He’s either going to preen and prance around like a deer on LSD if she says yes, or he’s going to fly off the handle and go on a murder spree if she says no. Actually, you know what? I really hope she says no.

    A3G- “Yes, you did misread that one. And if you ever do it again, you’ll find yourself dangling upside down out my office window.”

    Mark Trail- So clearly it’s not an option to just leave right? By the time Rusty meanders back to the Trail ranch; after his stops to look for arrowheads, lick toads, and stare longingly at the lake he’ll never get to go fishing on, the poachers could be long gone.

    Mary Worth- “Yes, you’ll be introduced to all sorts of new and interesting people. For instance, have you ever met a man with an arm growing out of his ass? Or maybe you’d like to meet the woman woman with no arms or legs, who is also deaf, dumb, and blind? If none of those are quite your style, we have the dumbest little boy on the planet, whose appearance is always changing. We keep him locked in a room by himself since he’s normally incoherent and babbling about poachers, cameras, and fishing.”
    “Mary, is this a hospital or a freak show?”

    Funky- Cory will probably get a leg blown off during basic training. He’ll then be dishonorably discharged and will return to Westview with a pinned up pant leg.

    Luann- This little arc is an even more unreadable sack of shit than Luann normally is. It doesn’t friggin matter anymore if Quill “loves” Luann or vice versa. He’s in fucking Australia and isn’t coming back. Ever. Move on. Listening to these two idiots try and disect it, is the pinnacle of awful.

    Curtis- If by chipped you mean totally and completely missing, then sure.

    Hi & Lois- Umm what the hell are those pictures on the wall?

    Family Circus- Jeffy is too stupid to know the difference between a letter and a picture of himself. This kid and Rusty need to have a dumbass off to decide once and for all who is the biggest dunce.

  31. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    September 7th, 2012 at 9:30 am [Reply]

    Marfield – I think he’s saying that people will get suspicious, because he’s already using your junior high yearbook picture for his Facebook icon.

    Mary‘s trying to get Dawn out of the closet.

  32. Joe, the Upper-Evergreen Guy
    September 7th, 2012 at 9:31 am [Reply]

    Beetle: This has got to be the longest buildup to a wedding that I’ve ever seen.

    FW: First, it was Napoleon Bonaparte. Next, it was Adolf Hitler. Now, the future will bring us……..Cory Winkerbean.

    Luann: Shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up….

    Marvin: “Yes, Jenny, whenever we bump uglies, I always image you as being in Jr. High!”

    RMMD: The surprise? Rex will discover the PENIS that June has been hiding amongst the flaps of her vulva all those years…

  33. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    September 7th, 2012 at 9:31 am [Reply]

    Mutt – “V – VIctory Loan!” So this strip was an anachronism in World War II as well! And now Jeff’s in the ash can of history.

    Rx – June’s swimsuit will turn heads all over with its daring black frock, teasing white bow, hot black bloomers, and sizzlingly loose black leggings. And of course, the floppy black hat. She’ll be the toast of the Sutro Baths!

  34. The Ghost of Jarrod
    September 7th, 2012 at 9:32 am [Reply]

    @Crankenstank (#23):

    Fun fact: CDs have been standard since the early 1990s. That was 20 years ago. Records, contrawise, haven’t been standard since the late 1970s — 35 years ago.

    Of course, given the median age for a “Hi and Lois” fan is 114, they’re just angry that Hi isn’t listening to a player piano.

  35. Liam
    September 7th, 2012 at 9:33 am [Reply]

    Slylock Fox-When are we going to learn how to draw midnight cowboys and rhinestone cowboys?

  36. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    September 7th, 2012 at 9:36 am [Reply]

    Family – Right on cue, here comes ‘Fuk Yoo,” the newest invisible sprite in the Keane house. “Did somebody call my name?”

    Ziggy doesn’t want to be beaten up and killed in some foreign country!

  37. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    September 7th, 2012 at 9:37 am [Reply]

    @Raghead The Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist (#y240): “No food” worked with Dagwood around? Really?
    Only because he was asleep.

    @Dale (#y249): I think there were legal reasons the householder wasn’t permitted to build a mailbox that dispensed instant justice to anybody who sailed into it in their heap. It doesn’t even get to swing all the way around and hit them in the back.

    @Flonatin of Bologna (#7): Ziggy: Ripped from the headlines…of 1987.
    More like 1925. He’s afraid of the Needle Men, because if he gets stuck with a needle, he’ll fly around the room backwards until he drops to the floor, deflated.

  38. AhClem
    September 7th, 2012 at 9:39 am [Reply]

    H&L – Hi isn’t as old-fashioned as you might think. Why, some of those LPs are even recorded in 2-Track Stereo!

  39. TheDiva
    September 7th, 2012 at 9:43 am [Reply]

    9CL: I’m trying to figure out if Edda saying “no” would be the most annoying or the most satisfying thing ever. There is no middle ground, that’s all I know.

    A3G: His Greek mama? Ari must come from a very progressive family…

    C’shaft: Optimism and hope are things that must be ridiculed and ultimately quashed in the Funkyverse.

    FW: Corey: .oO(They’re lying again, both of them. Do they think I can’t tell by now? God, I will be so happy to get out of this hellhole and into basic training…)

    GT: Hey, I found the strip’s Gunther!

    Luann: Because really, where’s the fun in emotional honesty?

    MT: Give him to General Woundwort! He’ll take care of him!”

    MW: Last time, all Dawn needed to expand her horizons was kite flying in the park. This time, it was a ship running aground and endangering thousands of lives. At this rate we’d better hope Dawn has another crisis, because nothing short of the apocalypse will set her straight.

    Pibgorn: TL;DR: “Actually, it’s a color error. But I can’t let on that something in my strip is the result of anything besides Pure Artsy Artistic Genius!”

    SM: “You fool! I just need to find the one clown that isn’t painted lavender!”

  40. Holly Folly
    September 7th, 2012 at 9:46 am [Reply]

    I think it’s weird how Chip’s dad has all those photos of the women he’s stalked over the years in his man cave.

  41. Illustrator Steve
    September 7th, 2012 at 9:47 am [Reply]

    MT – Here’s a Mark Trail story update for those who just came in…
    As a flock of wild geese continue circling the cabin while they debate WHAT they should do with Rusty, the SHEEP KILLERS decide to make their own decision to decidedly agree to decide WHAT they should decide to do with him later. As for the giant beaver, he’s simply waiting for all of these idiots to leave so she can get back to building his dam!

  42. UncleJeff
    September 7th, 2012 at 9:50 am [Reply]

    Villainous Sheep Killer: “We’ve got a problem.”
    Gen. Halftrack: “I’ve got a solution.”
    Daffy Duck: “SHOOT HIM! SHOOT HIM!”

    Rex Morgan, MD: And the anticipation grows but Monday won’t bring a panel of June modeling her thong. Just another drawing of a gob-smacked drawing of Rex pondering just what June means by “thong.”

    9CL: Edda looks uncomfortable. Do you think she might be getting cuts on her thighs from Amos’ open zipper?

  43. Patrick: formerly of Interlibrary Loan Lending Edition
    September 7th, 2012 at 9:50 am [Reply]

    @The Ghost of Jarrod (#34):

    I’m not entirely sure I agree with when LPs were standard. I would have considered the LP to still be the standard up to the late 1980′s. I was buying them up to about 1989 when it appeared the record companies deliberately put out crappy nearly unplayable vinyl just to get us record lovers to switch over to CD which I did in early 1992. I remember 1989 specifically because there were two LPs in particular I wanted that it took two or three copies each to get one that would play all the way through. I stopped buying new vinyl and ended up with CDs when I had no choice. Now I have more 78′s and Edison cylinders than I do CDs which is saying something because I still have about 200 CDs.

  44. hypochrismutreefuzz
    September 7th, 2012 at 9:50 am [Reply]

    That is a nice view of Mount Fuji-yama in the background of today’s Mark Trail.

  45. Illustrator Steve
    September 7th, 2012 at 9:51 am [Reply]

    MT – Here’s a Mark Trail story update for those who just came in…
    As a flock of wild geese continue circling the cabin while they debate WHAT they should do with Rusty, the SHEEP KILLERS decide to make their own decision to decidedly agree to decide WHAT they should decide to do with him later. As for the giant beaver, he’s simply waiting for all of these idiots to leave so she can get back to building her dam!

  46. Voshkod
    September 7th, 2012 at 9:51 am [Reply]

    @Oregonian (#6): Is that who that was? I thought it was General Zod and his two companions, peering in from the Phantom Zone and wondering yet again how they had failed to conquer a planet so pathetic as to spawn Hi and Lois.

  47. zerowolf
    September 7th, 2012 at 9:53 am [Reply]

    H&L: Let me tell ya, whippersnapper, rock was rocking when all we had was rocks.

  48. seismic-2
    September 7th, 2012 at 9:58 am [Reply]

    I refuse to believe that Hi is old enough to have listened to LPs on a console-monster Hi-Fi back in the day, much less that he still has one. Even by the mid-1960s, those wooden cabinets were being replaced by racks of components (even if the “racks” were just cinder-block and plank bookshelves). Of course, Hi’s record collection is probably all mono rather than stereo, but even so, a true classic like “Green Onions” deserves better than to be played on a 1962 Sylvania. When it comes to good music production, those sets make excellent living-room furniture.

  49. UncleJeff
    September 7th, 2012 at 10:00 am [Reply]

    FW: Funky speaks for the American Citizen….now horrified to learn that our shores are protected from the Commie Hoard by a sullen punk/thief who is joining the Army because there are no jobs available for sullen punk/thieves who probably have cancer.
    (BTW: seeing that cancer is a pre-existing condition in Winkerville, is Corey covered by Obamacare or just hoping the Defense Department will find a bed for him in a VA Hospital?)

  50. Pozzo
    September 7th, 2012 at 10:00 am [Reply]

    WTF is up with the hole at the coffee cup in “Marvin?” Who could drink out of a whole that small? Can hummingbirds drink coffee?

  51. True Fable
    September 7th, 2012 at 10:03 am [Reply]

    Mary Wrath Gee, Dawn. What a tiny little head you’ve got. The better to understand platitudes with, my dear!

  52. True Fable
    September 7th, 2012 at 10:05 am [Reply]

    My mistake. It was just that Mary Worth’s head is such a Big Old Melon, Dawn’s looks pin-sized by comparison. In fact Dawn may very well be proportionally correct for once. Oh sure, Dawn’s still a pinhead but DAMN Mary. That is a melon.

  53. Liam
    September 7th, 2012 at 10:14 am [Reply]

    Ziggy-First you need to dress like an American before you can pretend that you are Canadian.

  54. Feral Canadian
    September 7th, 2012 at 10:14 am [Reply]

    The poachers are mistaken in thinking Rusty is a threat because he found them out in the wilderness, but Sassy is clearly the only one with enough intelligence to find her way home. The nicest thing these poachers can do is keep Rusty in one place so that when Mark finally shows up and dispenses fist justice, he doesn’t have to scour lost forest to find him.

  55. Feral Canadian
    September 7th, 2012 at 10:17 am [Reply]

    @Illustrator Steve (#45): I rooting for the beaver

  56. Liam
    September 7th, 2012 at 10:20 am [Reply]

    Marvin-What he’s saying is that you are going to attract the type of people who think you are a twelve year old girl. Unless those are the type of people you are trying to attract.

  57. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    September 7th, 2012 at 10:22 am [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#39):

    “MT: Give him to General Woundwort!

    Rusty, I’m afraid that Fiver has had another premonition. You are never, ever going to get to go fishing with Mark.

  58. Downpuppy
    September 7th, 2012 at 10:24 am [Reply]

    @Patrick: formerly of Interlibrary Loan Lending Edition (#43): Dunno about LPs, but “groovy” had maybe a 10 minute run in 1966 before it became self-parody.

  59. NoahSnark
    September 7th, 2012 at 10:27 am [Reply]

    Momma volunteered to be the football because that’s the only way she can get Francis to hold her any more. It actually works well for all concerned, except for when he spikes the ball after a touchdown.

  60. Downpuppy
    September 7th, 2012 at 10:27 am [Reply]

    @Feral Canadian (#55): If Mark can use a bear to catch murderers, why can’t Rusty use a beaver to catch poachers? Maybe they’re as dim as Spiderman, and will stand around while the beaver drops a tree on them.

  61. Anonymous
    September 7th, 2012 at 10:27 am [Reply]

    Hi sure has a lot of extreme close-up shots of Scarlett Johansson, doesn’t he?

  62. Liam
    September 7th, 2012 at 10:28 am [Reply]

    RMMD-This feels like a delaying action on the part of the artist. “How much can I delay before I am forced to draw this supposedly microscopic bikini even though I will only be drawing it regular size?”

  63. Liam
    September 7th, 2012 at 10:29 am [Reply]

    Hi and Lois-I think those the are Andy Warhol “Mary Worth” prints.

  64. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    September 7th, 2012 at 10:29 am [Reply]

    @Patrick: formerly of Interlibrary Loan Lending Edition (#43): I have a few feet of 78s, but no cylinders. I’ve seen them for sale, but since I don’t have a machine, and since they cost actual money, I was able to resist. I did get to play with some at a little museum in South Dakota (“Does this work?” “I don’t know.” “Could I try it?” “Well, I don’t see why not.”). The cylinder of “Uncle Josh Visits the Bug House” was so worn, the needle would have stayed in the same place forever without gentle finger pressure forward — like James Thurber’s recollection of “No News: or, What Killed the Dog” (“ate some burnt hoss flesh ate some burnt hoss flesh ate some burnt hoss flesh”). It was a wierdly hypnotic humor record, made stranger by Uncle Josh’s constant and eccentric self-laughter, making him a pioneer in canned laffs. I’ve since learned way too much about Josh’s other records, movies, and books; not to mention the towns named Punkin Center because of his immensely popular jocularity.

    @seismic-2 (#48): When it comes to good music production, those sets make excellent living-room furniture.
    In my first year of radio-TV repair at Voc-Tech, I learned that repairmen call those “coffins,” because they’re a beautiful piece of furniture with something dead inside.

  65. Mibbitmaker
    September 7th, 2012 at 10:35 am [Reply]

    New PCK is up!

    The Pop Culture’s Kids discover the British TV series that All in the Family was based on, online. Catchphrase comparisons ensue…

  66. TheDiva
    September 7th, 2012 at 10:38 am [Reply]

    @Illustrator Steve (#41): *looks closer* Huh, I guess that is a huge beaver, and not a lop-eared rabbit as I’d thought. So now my Watership Down comment makes no sense. I suppose I could come up with something tying into The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, but I’m too tired.

  67. Chaze
    September 7th, 2012 at 10:42 am [Reply]

    My 70 year old sister might still have an old Sears console stereo like Hi’s. She may have even listened to Booker T and the MG’s, because she was pretty cool. But fake Andy Warhol Marilyn Monroe prints? Really? Actually hanging on the wall? Now?? They were faux hip in the 60′s and incredibly lame now. So Hi isn’t as cool as my 70 year old sister.

    //Does this mean the artist is 80? Or was this originally drawn in The Brady Bunch years of the mid-70′s?

  68. Ian Beste
    September 7th, 2012 at 10:47 am [Reply]

    H&L I don’t know much about music but the note that is coming from the turntable doesn’t match the note that is coming from what I assume is the speaker grill. What’s up with that? Has Hi hidden a midget inside the entertainment unit and forced him to whistle along with the records?

  69. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    September 7th, 2012 at 10:49 am [Reply]

    9CL: ok, show of hands, who thinks Amos popped off in his tighty-whities inbetween panels.

    R&R: *golf clap* nicely done.

    SBp: uses a Lockhorns reject today.

    Lockhorns: Leroy bought four Rainbow Dash ties. *brohoof*

    SFx: Anna, age 6, STILL a better artist than Reply All. [*]

  70. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    September 7th, 2012 at 10:50 am [Reply]

    Love Is . . .twins

  71. Anonymous
    September 7th, 2012 at 10:51 am [Reply]

    @Joe, the Upper-Evergreen Guy (#32): June having a penis would just excite Rex even more.

  72. Lenoxus
    September 7th, 2012 at 10:55 am [Reply]

    I, too, had to read Hi and Lois twice to realize he wasn’t saying “Lips”. I thought maybe he was a Flaming Lips fan? The Flaming Lips, of course, being a band of the CD era. So yeah, I agree that he’s Hi.

    Plus, his joke only works, grammatically speaking, if records today lacked grooves. He should be saying “When the main units of music-listening had grooves” or something similarly AJGLU-ish.

  73. Uncle Lumpy
    September 7th, 2012 at 10:59 am [Reply]

    Some of the tube electronics in those old consoles were pretty good, but the turntables were basically belt sanders.

  74. Anonymous
    September 7th, 2012 at 11:03 am [Reply]

    Let’s see, Hi is listening to what appears to be Booker T and the MG’s. I’m guessing this is one of those “Nostalgia doesn’t exist, our shit was actually better when we were young” strips, so Hi probably didn’t develop a taste in early-60′s soul years after it was cool. Let’s say that Hi was 16 when BTMG’s first album came out in 1962. Chip is supposed to be what, 16 too? This means that Chip was born when Hi was 50, and the latter is now 66, give or take 5 years.

    All I’ll say is that for a man in his 60′s who doesn’t seem anywhere close to retirement and who keeps on conceiving children with his much younger wife, all but assuring he’ll have to work for his hated employer until he drops dead, he looks pretty good.

  75. Dennis Jimenez
    September 7th, 2012 at 11:04 am [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#48): I was thinking one of them might make a kitschy casket….

  76. Dennis Jimenez
    September 7th, 2012 at 11:06 am [Reply]

    @Anonymous (#71): Maybe she could bop on over to BB and borrow one from Killer….

  77. Chaze
    September 7th, 2012 at 11:10 am [Reply]

    ASM – Am I to assume that Peter Parker actually took the time to look up the plural of clown? Should I also assume that he is correct? Why not? I have important things to do, while he only has a nutjob clown to bring to justice.

    RMMD – Am I assume that it’s been awhile since Rex has seen June naked?

    Frazz – Am I to assume that I’m supposed to know what “artisanal arithmetic” is so that I can get the joke? Who does Mallett think I am, Peter Parker? I ain’t got time to look this shit up.

    A3G – Am I to assume that we have “Margo’s Big Fat Greek Wedding” heading our way?

    FW – Am I to assume that Cory has NOT enlisted in The Salvation Army and that he will NOT be in front of the pizzeria ringing a bell come Christmas?

    JP – Am I to assume that Sam’s basket is actually that impressive and that he has not stuffed a roll of socks down his pants? Also, does he wear zip up shirts? Even in the stick-figure art of Mark Trail, they attempt drawing buttons.

  78. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    September 7th, 2012 at 11:19 am [Reply]

    Philosophical Mastiff ponders the existance of Dog.

    I .gif bb,u a nap attack. *brainmush*

    Poteet probably agrees.

    meanwhile, in Pluggers.

    Sequitur says Nothing Runs Like a Deer.

    ASM, it could be worse.

    relinked from yesterday, in Charterstone.

    ikkle marmoset.

    corgi ears.

    dual corgsqui. *brainmush*

  79. Occipital Lobe
    September 7th, 2012 at 11:23 am [Reply]

    9CL: You know, given how Edda has been running away every time Amos has looked at her, we could have saved ourselves several months of agony if he had just pinned her to the floor the FIRST time he wanted to ask her …

    (Oooo, ick, never mind. Brain bleach, please.)

  80. billman
    September 7th, 2012 at 11:23 am [Reply]

    As a child in the ’70s we had one of those consoles like Hi’s with a TV at one end and a turntable/radio on the other. We got rid of it in the ’80s only because my electronics engineer father could no longer keep it running since you couldn’t get tubes for it anymore without spending a fortune.

    Funny story, when we were all little (5 of us from ~under a year to 6) my Dad (with a notoriously short temper) finally had it with us walking and standing in front of the TV screen since it was right next to the ground. One Saturday he cut the box in half (made of wood) put the TV half on top with new side panels lifting it about a foot over the turntable underneath (making the TV screen at about 4 feet off the ground) and had it working again and the new woodwork all finished by the end of the day.

  81. Nehemiah Scudder
    September 7th, 2012 at 11:34 am [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#33): Mutt – “V – VIctory Loan!” So this strip was an anachronism in World War II as well! And now Jeff’s in the ash can of history.
    The US had Victory Bonds and War Bonds in both WWI and WWII, but as near as I can tell “Victory Loan” is the Canadian version. Very strange!

  82. Snarkotix Addict
    September 7th, 2012 at 11:35 am [Reply]

    Luann – I’m going to close my eyes really tight now. Will someone let me know when this is over, please?

    MW – “We don’t get many drowning victims, but I’m sure you’ll find someone to relate to.”

    C-shaft – Ha ha. That’s funny because you’ll spend the rest of the year worrying every day about where your child is.

    FC – Well, no, little melonhead.

  83. bats :[
    September 7th, 2012 at 11:37 am [Reply]

    @Marc (#30): re 9CL: You’re just hoping for collateral damage.

  84. Pop Goes the Weasel
    September 7th, 2012 at 11:38 am [Reply]

    H&L: My guess is that Hi’s mancave wall hangings are meant to be
    Andy Warhol prints from the 70′s. Specifically either Elvis Presley
    or Grace Jones.

  85. Sequitur
    September 7th, 2012 at 11:39 am [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#78):
    I wonder if I could trick out my Husqvarna like that?

    i.e. Charterstone – Let’s all go to the lobby!

  86. AhClem
    September 7th, 2012 at 11:39 am [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#73): When you see little black threads curling up and away from the needle, you know you have too many pennies taped to the tonearm.

  87. The Ridger
    September 7th, 2012 at 11:41 am [Reply]

    JP: Now that we know Avery did recognize pot when he fell into it, and did remember where he took the picture, I hope tomorrow we learn that he took the memory card and downloaded the pictures and emailed them to himself.

  88. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    September 7th, 2012 at 11:43 am [Reply]

  89. Nehemiah Scudder
    September 7th, 2012 at 11:45 am [Reply]

    @hypochrismutreefuzz (#44): That is a nice view of Mount Fuji-yama in the background of today’s Mark Trail.

    Pedantic moment: It is just “Mount Fuji”. Or, maybe Fuji-yama. The word “yama” means mountain.

  90. Doctor Handsome
    September 7th, 2012 at 11:45 am [Reply]

    “Green Onions” and Greg Evans lithographs? It’s like some kind of bachelor paradise.

  91. Sequitur
    September 7th, 2012 at 11:47 am [Reply]

    I remember in the early 60′s my parents got one of those console stereos. I remember that the AM and FM dials were seperate. The buttons you could choose for the radio was AM, FM and AM/FM. If you pressed AM/FM both frequencies would play AM on one side, FM on the other. Back then they would have special broadcasts in stereo that had one channel on AM and the other channel on FM. Yeah, pretty weird with mismatched quality.

    Sometime in the 70′s when the thing didn’t work anymore my Dad gutted it and my Mom used it as a storage cabinet. It was a nice piece of furniture.

  92. Hogenmogen
    September 7th, 2012 at 11:48 am [Reply]

    Marvin: Yeah, honey, you still look young. But maybe you should photoshop out that pink she-mullet you were sporting back then.

  93. Doctor Handsome
    September 7th, 2012 at 11:56 am [Reply]

    Jenny would’ve been in middle school in like 1995, so she’s probably listening to Booker T on vinyl in that profile pic.

  94. Sequitur
    September 7th, 2012 at 11:56 am [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#88):
    Now you’ve gone and reminded me about an old episode of Whose Line Is It Anyway? where they had to come up with alternate names for a bra. Ryan Stiles called it “Milk Duds.”

  95. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    September 7th, 2012 at 11:58 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#81): Victory, yes. Show me where “V for Victory” figured large in the first world war. I’m not finding it so far.

  96. Sequitur
    September 7th, 2012 at 11:59 am [Reply]

    Marvin: Ah, c’mon, Jenny. No one wears silver braces anymore.

  97. Doctor Handsome
    September 7th, 2012 at 12:07 pm [Reply]

    “You say you’re organizing a fantasy football league?” “I said that a couple of hours ago, yeah. Did you come up with a joke now? OK, let me set you up again.”

  98. seismic-2
    September 7th, 2012 at 12:09 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#89): That’s of course the typical result of creating an English-language reference to an other-language proper name. For instance, “La Brea” is Spanish for “the pitch” or “the tar”, so “the La Brea tar pits” really means “the the tar tar pits”.

  99. Shrug, Speaker to Spam
    September 7th, 2012 at 12:10 pm [Reply]

    @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#y245):

    9CL: “Yesterday, he was proffering the ring to her. Now it has disappeared.”

    Amos is playing Hide The Ring to sublimate his desire to play Hide The Sausage.

    // I’m thinking one of those tiny ten-to-a-small-package breakfast sausages, of course.

  100. Drew Funk
    September 7th, 2012 at 12:10 pm [Reply]

    “What are you listening to?” “Some of my old lips. I have them removed every five years and glued on the framed faces behind me. Sometimes I hear them giving me advice on the course my life should take.” This dialogue better explains why Chip is looking away with a concerned expression and not responding in the second panel.

  101. Drew Funk
    September 7th, 2012 at 12:14 pm [Reply]

    June’s swimsuit is going to be a 1920s-style flapper dress swimsuit with all the frills and the umbrella. That’s the surprise.

  102. Sequitur
    September 7th, 2012 at 12:15 pm [Reply]

    H&L: That Booker T. album just happens to be up front. Hi is actually listening to The Bob Crewe Generation’s Music to Watch Girls By.

    Someone should have told the tympani player to lean forward. And hey, isn’t that How I Met Your Mother‘s Jason Segel (Marshall) on the saxophone?

  103. Austria
    September 7th, 2012 at 12:15 pm [Reply]

    Now I’m just waiting for Cory to sing about how he was a fool in school for cutting gym.

  104. Drew Funk
    September 7th, 2012 at 12:16 pm [Reply]

    @The Ridger (#87): Unfortunately, he goes back looking for more trout to catch and runs into the pot farmers, and Mark Trail is nowhere to be found.

  105. Doctor Handsome
    September 7th, 2012 at 12:17 pm [Reply]

    Chip was probably asking what band it is, but whatever. “This is called an audio recording, son. We used to use them to duplicate sound.”

  106. Shrug, Speaker to Spam
    September 7th, 2012 at 12:19 pm [Reply]

    @Marc (#30):

    “Mark Trail- So clearly it’s not an option to just leave right? By the time Rusty meanders back to the Trail ranch; after his stops to look for arrowheads, lick toads, and stare longingly at the lake he’ll never get to go fishing on, the poachers could be long gone.”

    If they don’t want to trust Rusty’s slow-meander setting, they could take him up in the airplane they seem to have forgotten that they have, set him down in an uninhabited area twenty miles away, THEN leave. I mean, they’re already wanted in six states, so what’s a little kidnapping gig in state seven between fiends?

  107. Amos the Feral Australian
    September 7th, 2012 at 12:26 pm [Reply]

    @Feral Canadian (#55):

    ” I’m rooting for the beaver”

    Me too, mate.

  108. Esther Blodgett
    September 7th, 2012 at 12:26 pm [Reply]

    @Patrick: formerly of Interlibrary Loan Lending Edition (#43): I vividly remember debating whether I should buy U2′s The Joshua Tree on vinyl or take the plunge and get it on CD. That was in 1986 (I ended up taking the plunge). I never bought crappy pre-recorded cassettes unless there was no other format available for the album I wanted (usually something old and/or obscure). So for me, vinyl was “standard” until ’86, when I switched to CDs. Ironically, even though most of my music is streamed or downloaded these days, I still love records best.

  109. Arabella
    September 7th, 2012 at 12:28 pm [Reply]

    FW: So now Cory will disappear for X number of years, have a life-changing experience in some generic war zone, and make a triumphant return as a decent person. No? Then I suppose we won’t ever resolve the stolen money issue.

  110. bbofun
    September 7th, 2012 at 12:31 pm [Reply]

    I am undoubtedly late to the party on this, but has anyone mentioned that, way back on Aug. 12, the Funky Sunday strip (the culmination of the “Sulky McPTSD, his dog, and his girlfriend go to the fair” series) featured a young man doing pull-ups at the army recruiting booth, with Sulky making sad eyes as he walked past? And that that young man was, indeed, Funky’s son (whose name I learn from today’s strip is Cory)?

    In most strips, I would praise the author for his foreshadowing. Unfortunately, as far as I can recall, we haven’t seen Cory (at least in a context where he was identified) in maybe a year or more. Basic rule- if you’re going to show Chekov’s gun, it should be a recognizable weapon.

    Plus, Cory looks to be maybe 15. (Is Sulky [I refuse to look up his name] going to end up having a long talk with Cory? You betcha!)

  111. seismic-2
    September 7th, 2012 at 12:34 pm [Reply]

    @Arabella (#109): When he comes back from the war, Cory will at least no longer be a thief, since when he returns he will have both his sleeves pinned up.

  112. Ed Dravecky
    September 7th, 2012 at 12:36 pm [Reply]

    The artwork in Momma is uniformly terrible but at least the lettering is always dynamic and alive. Hi and Lois is using a handwriting font (Walker-Browne Amalgamated Extra Dull) so boring that even passable jokes fall flat.

  113. bbofun
    September 7th, 2012 at 12:38 pm [Reply]

    9CL- Why 2 panels? why? artistically, it makes no sense. Dramatically, it makes no sense. Aesthetically, it makes no…

    Oh, wait. This is Amos proposing to Edda. So making no sense is just in keeping with the program.

  114. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    September 7th, 2012 at 12:46 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#98):

    “The Tar Tar Pits” was an attraction at the ill-conceived and poorly received “Happy Magic Dental Health World” theme park. Aside from the gondolas gliding down the Root Canal, none of the rides were worth the price of admission, even if you had insurance.

  115. Poteet
    September 7th, 2012 at 12:50 pm [Reply]

  116. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    September 7th, 2012 at 12:51 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#78): Hee—that’s pretty much me every time I sit on the couch to grade papers.

    (I saw a corgi and a chihuahua on a walk together this morning; Lolly saw them, too, and probably thought, “Mmmm…. Mexican for lunch!”)

    MW: When I was 14, I decided to volunteer as a candy-striper at the local hospital (because, you know, all my friends were doing it). So I got my little striped apron, and my first day there, I was asked to feed a very elderly, sick woman. As I spooned some kind of mush into her mouth, and much of it ran down her chin, I started to get queasy, and then dizzy, and—yep, I became faint at the sight of feeding someone. That was my first and only day as a candy-striper.

    So all I’m saying is, I’d love to see Dawn in the same scenario, and then see Mary try to meddle her out of her squeamishness using futile common sense. (It would make perfect sense because Dawn’s mental and emotional age is about 14!)

  117. _Liz
    September 7th, 2012 at 1:00 pm [Reply]

    @Trouty Mouth (#18): Ha! yeah exactly. Just once I want one of these parents listening to the Pixies while they’re kids roll their eyes. Or have I missed that strip?
    Only Grandma and Grandpa talk about groovy LPs… well, unless your dad is a hipster.

  118. Ned Ryerson
    September 7th, 2012 at 1:02 pm [Reply]

    Hi and Lois has gone viral! (I’d reply specifically to comments, but it’s already to chaotic, so if I’m answering something you’ve said or added to it, you know who you are.)

    Vinyl LPs have gone through phases. Currently, new releases are widely available on vinyl, as are fancy schmancy ’180 gram’ audiophile reissues of music from yesteryear. (I’m thinking specifically of jazz records, but Memphis soul type stuff is hipster gold too…take a look at a web merchant like and you’ll see some of the genres that appeal to the modern day vinyl hipster). There is also still a market (shrinking in storefront land, but still going online and in some conventions/record shows) for used vinyl.

    Now, Hi supposedly has “old records”, which could mean that he bought them when they were released and he’s been lugging them around since. He could also be more like me (although he’s been a father of a teenager since I was in diapers, so I don’t really consider Hi and me to be contemporaries) and be assembling a collection of old vinyl that he’s bought used. There could even be some reissues in there and he could still collective refer to his collection as “old records”.

    Booker T and the MGs probably weren’t huge movers of LPs, although they certainly released some. I would think they sold a lot more 45 singles, songs like Green Onions or Hip Hug Her. If Hi owns some old Booker T LPs that are in decent shape (whether he’s kept them from the time they were released or he’s picked them up along the way) well, good for him. If he’s kept his kids filthy mitts off them, even better. Go Hi. (I have a greatest hits LP from Booker T that was released in the 70s that unfortunately bear the unfortunate label “Electronically Rechanneled for Stereo” which usually means, “sounds crappy”.)

    As to Hi’s sound system…I kind of like those big consoles and I like that warm tone that you get out of them (as long as worm tone stops short of “annoying background buzz on everything”) but I agree with whoever said the turntables in there look like machine shop equipment: twenty pound tone arm, needle made for a sewing machine, etc. A true hipster might retro-fit one of those with a more “modern” turntable. You’d still be at the mercy of the ancient tubes and whatnot to keep pumping out decent sound. I’ve got a couple of table top radios purchased from flea markets that sounded pretty good, but they eventually all seem to start humming on me and now just sit there looking “cool” and gathering dust. For that reason (and space issues), I certainly wouldn’t bother with one of those consoles. (Being buried in one, though….hmmm)

    Another note about Hi’s sound system: I’ve heard that pop records from the era of Booker T & the MGs (early 60s) were engineered specifically to sound good being played on contemporary home audio equipment, or even broadcast in AM, coming out of car speakers. (The car speaker thing I think I heard specifically about the Phil Spector recordings) I also read that prior to that, think dawn of radio 30s-40s, recording engineers discovered that string accompaniment on the recordings helped to mask high pitched interference patterns heard on AM radio, hence the ever present strings all over the popular music of the day. So I guess my point is that audio fidelity “standards” change.

    As far as that crap on the wall, my first thought was that these were some weird take on the Patrick Nagel prints that showed up everywhere in the 80s, but that makes no sense, chronologically or otherwise.

  119. Joshua
    September 7th, 2012 at 1:12 pm [Reply]

    Chip: “What are you listening to?”
    Hi: “Some of my old LPs.”
    Chip: “Yes, very funny, Dad. Did you really think that I was asking what MEDIUM OF RECORDING you were listening to, as opposed to the artist or title of the song?”

  120. Poteet
    September 7th, 2012 at 1:17 pm [Reply]

    MW — A normal human adult might attempt to find volunteer work that would fit her existing interests. But since Dawn is a total blank, except for GAME OF THRONES and Dave, Mary could probably just sell her to an illegal sweatshop. I’d vote for the one that made Margo fetch zippers.

  121. Joshua
    September 7th, 2012 at 1:19 pm [Reply]

    Toni: “If Luann tells Quill she loves him, he’ll either say he loves her back or he doesn’t love her.”
    Brad: “Right. She has a 50% chance of finding out he loves her.”

    No, it doesn’t work that way, and Toni should have pointed that out. If it did, Luann could write to Justin Bieber instead and tell her she loves him. That way, she’d have a 50% chance of finding out he loves her, too.

  122. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    September 7th, 2012 at 1:28 pm [Reply]

    @bbofun (#113):

    Presumably, the past several months of meandering “plot” developments have all been intended solely to get us to this image – Amos lying on top of Edda and proposing to her on stage in front of hundreds of enraptured onlookers (and at least three video cameras filming them from hot air balloons). So the two-panel split and the usual lack of any attempt to give Edda facial features is all the more disappointing.

    I’m really looking forward to being outraged at Big Gay Seth’s dramatic overreaction to the whole scene. I wonder if it will involve frenzied coupling with Big Gay Seth Clone, or if Big Gay Seth Clone has already vanished, never to be seen again.

  123. tallyHO
    September 7th, 2012 at 1:29 pm [Reply]

    @Marc (#30):

    Surely it was unintentional but wasn’t:

    … what the hell are those pictures on the wall?

    Isn’t that the title of some 70s song that was used in a Quentin Tarantino movie?

    What the hell are those pictures on the wall?
    They’re just disturbing me, that’s all.
    Where they
    Painted by some hopped up

    If they were then what did he dooooooo?

    //ha HA.

    Someone wake me up when Hi (if that is indeed his real state of mind) starts saying “That’s so Old School!” and is not referring to the one-room school house the first interation of the character was originally born in back in the 1920s! Take that, backwards-aging Nuclear/Pre-Nuclear Head of a Family of Blonde Cuteness!

  124. SurrealKangaroo
    September 7th, 2012 at 1:30 pm [Reply]

    I guess they don’t call him “Hi” for nothing.

  125. casino LF
    September 7th, 2012 at 1:46 pm [Reply]

    JP: Why would Avery even care about the pot? He’s from California, right, this big time movie guy who makes the best deals by capitulating to everything the other party wants? It’s pretty much legal there, right? He should team up with Bea and up the price to sell it as medical marijuana to listless starlets or something, but of course you’re going to try to tell me that he would contact the authorities, because ?!?!?!?!?!?


    MW: DAWN & DREW, ROUND II, anyone? Hopefully she won’t text stalk him like the last one.

  126. Chaze
    September 7th, 2012 at 1:50 pm [Reply]

    I’m giving it up for Pluggers today. I have towels and washcloths that are quickly resembling gauze strips. I dunno. Hate to shop for that stuff I guess. Same goes for the backs of my pant legs. Those frazzled bottoms need constant clipping, just like my eyebrows.

    // Jeeeeeez, I’m a plugger. Kill me now.

  127. Artist formerly known as Ben
    September 7th, 2012 at 1:54 pm [Reply]

    H&L: The Flagstons are Warhol collectors? You just never know about people. (Ignoring the joke, thank you.)

    Marvin: Jenny’s hoping to get some attention from one of those “To Catch a Predator” guys.

    MW: Dawn could stump Mary so hard now, just by asking “What other kinds of people?”

    Ziggy: I’d actually like to see some follow-up on this one. Ziggy’s idea of dressing Canadian should be a giggle. A maple leaf toque and a “Take off you hoser” t-shirt?

    C-Shaft: The elect group of people who believe Crankshaft is funny.

    Agnes: Wunnerful wunnerful!

    Popeye: Big Cam’ron fans, the Grumpers are determined to keep the Stop Snitchin’ campaign going.

    Baldo: Well, if not personally he sort of was by extension.

    RMMD: Okay, someone has to say it. Lascivious padding is still padding. Not that June’s bathing suit will need much padding, but the story apparently does.

    DT: Moon Maid is about to teach that mugger a lesson. That’s right, she’s got some catalogues on her and she’s going to show him what a nice purse actually looks like.

    GT: Man, this Mia Meeks doesn’t know what she’s missing. Oh wait, yes she does.

    Shoe: So is Cosmo supposed to be balding? And how are we to know this?

    DtM: Dennis has an inverted Playboy symbol on his chaps. These are not chaps your child should be wearing.

    Luann: When I first looked at the second panel I thought that it was Luann straddling Brad in his imagination/memory. So as bad as Luann actually is, I got a brief glimpse of something worse.

  128. commodorejohn
    September 7th, 2012 at 1:57 pm [Reply]

    @Nekrotzar (#24): We are no longer friends. (Cripes, next you’ll be telling me that Focus is boring!)

    Agnes – Oh, Agnes. Please always keep being Agnes, okay?

    A3G – What nationality were your other mamas, Professor?

    Crankshaft – Yes, lady, welcome to the Funkiverse, where everyone is a huge douche for absolutely no reason! Enjoy your stay!

    DT – Fighting crime…with the Electric Slide!

    F- – Because the current decade sucks and is boring? And the decade before it mostly sucked too. Hell, a lot of the ’90s sucked. The ’80s were completely batshit, but at least they had an identity.

    FC – “And that’s when I folded his stupid beachball skull in, Your Honor.”

    FW – Have there ever been two less appealing specimens of humanity than the elder Winkerbeans in today’s strip? Staring blearily, devoid of emotion, at their only son, unable even in this crucial, defining moment of his life to be honest with him about their feelings, just mumbling words to make the question go away…gah. I’ve felt more emotional connection to insects I flushed down the toilet.

    H&L – Booker T. and the M.G.s? Hi is a man of fine taste. Well, in music, anyway, I don’t know what the hell is up with those paintings. (He also confirms what I’ve been saying for years: records are just cooler. I don’t understand why nerds get so worked up over digital audio when there’s a gadget out there that turns transferred motion into an electrical signal to reproduce audio stored in carvings on a plate.)


    Luann – So if Luann straight-up asks Quill what his feelings are, there’s a 50/50 chance he’ll return her affections, but if she waits indefinitely, then the possibility remains that he might. Schrodinger’s relationship, ladies and gentlemen.

    MT – “Okay, kid, we decided: you can check out any time you like, but you can never leave!”

    The Norm – Yeah, I missed when wet-and-messy fetishism became a wedding-cake tradition, but it’s creepy as fuck.

    OBH – Thing I learned today: cereal used to come in wax-paper bags inside the box, instead of shitty plastic that it is completely impossible to open cleanly without breaking out the scissors.

    WoI – Psst, Rodney, that’s a secret message. It means that if you’re that concerned with proving your machismo, you don’t actually have any.

  129. Chaze
    September 7th, 2012 at 2:01 pm [Reply]

    I can fully support the idea behind Hi & Lois today. I have around 1500 albums, going back to the Beatles, Monkees and Paul Revere albums I bought with allowance money. I bought a zero tracking turntable while they were still available. I have the albums and stereo in a room of their own, along with a 1966 Schwinn Stingray bike I wanted when I was a kid and was able to secure on eBay. The room is clearly an escape and a tribute to arrested development.

    NOTHING sounds better than mono Beatles albums on a good stereo. George Martin was a genius. I maybe spend a hour a week in that room. The rest of the time I am accessing new music I like from just about every device that I own.

  130. bats :[
    September 7th, 2012 at 2:11 pm [Reply]

    @Chaze (#129): The Arrested Development room sounds cool. I’d donate a lava lamp, if I had one. :D

  131. Liam
    September 7th, 2012 at 2:13 pm [Reply]

    MW-Dawn doesn’t like looking at sick and dying people. She has to look at her father and that is enough for her.

  132. Liam
    September 7th, 2012 at 2:18 pm [Reply]

    Hi and Lois-So this would make Hi a Plugger then.

  133. balthazar
    September 7th, 2012 at 2:20 pm [Reply]

    as much as i like to dump on FW, and enjoy the snark here, i have to say that if batty-yuk would do more of this stuff and less, much less of les, i’d be inclined to feel more favorable about the strip. funky’s ambivalence about his own son, and his wife’s passivity are at least more authentic than the cringeworthy idiot who has become the main character in funkytown.

  134. Dennis Jimenez
    September 7th, 2012 at 2:22 pm [Reply]

    @Amos the Feral Australian (#107): Do they have beaver in Austrialia? I hear in Santa Royale they have something called the Platitudepus….

  135. teenchy
    September 7th, 2012 at 2:24 pm [Reply]

    @Chaze (#67): Yeah, I figured those were supposed to be Warhol Marilyn prints. Taken with Josh’s comments the whole scenario gives me an American Beauty vibe. Next I expect Hi will be sprinkling rose petals on Thirsty’s wife.

  136. Mustang
    September 7th, 2012 at 2:30 pm [Reply]

    @balthazar (#133): This is a great point. FW used to be good back in the day. Come to think of it, it started getting annoying when it started featuring Les instead of Funky. I always hated Les, even when I liked this strip.

  137. endless sky
    September 7th, 2012 at 2:32 pm [Reply]

    Pluggers: As usual, Ms. Chicken takes the half-assed plugger-easy way out. Those frazzled ends on the towels will come right back with the next wash. Get your lazy tail feathers over to your antique Singer sewing machine and stitch them down!

  138. endless sky
    September 7th, 2012 at 2:34 pm [Reply]

    @endless sky (#137): stitch the towels, not the tail feathers.

  139. tallyHO
    September 7th, 2012 at 2:35 pm [Reply]

    @teenchy (#135):

    Lois doesn’t deserve that* But, Thirsy’s wife deserves better.

    Say, chums! Has there ever been a comic strip divorce? Andy Capp and his mutually abuser and the Lockhorns are still married. But, I can’t think of a single divorce.

    Unless, Ziggy is divorced….from reality!

    *yikes. isn’t Lois a real estate salesperson!?

    Nah. The strip won’t go there. There’s too many kids.

  140. Suppertime Shark
    September 7th, 2012 at 2:38 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#139):

    Did someone say CHUMS

    It’s what’s from dinner!

  141. Chaze
    September 7th, 2012 at 2:42 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#130): Funny you mention it. I have one. A gift for my 50th birthday from a smartass employee. I like it though.

    //Anyone got a blacklight and some blacklight posters?

  142. This Guy
    September 7th, 2012 at 2:42 pm [Reply]

    Anges gives me a new phrase to try to work into conversation: “The jiggling is MINIMAL.”

    Aren’t these kids in Baldo in high school? Shouldn’t they have some idea who Machiavelli was? I had to read his book in 10th grade. Over the summer, in fact.

    I didn’t laugh directly at today’s Herb and Jamaal, but it made me think of Tom Lehrer’s “New Math,” which I did laugh at. It’s like playing “Six Degrees of Separation from Being Funny.”

    Pluggers… like to dry themselves with a wad of terrycloth strips?

    Brad, Toni, PROBABILITY DOES NOT WORK THAT WAY. You can’t assume both of those outcomes are equally likely, unless Quill determines his own feelings by flipping a fair coin, which I admit wouldn’t be any more implausible than everything else in this strip.

    Jimbo Gumbo (I want to hit him just for that name) contributes to the bullshit magical thinking and pseudoscience that infects our nation’s children. Well done.

    GA: Snif snaf? Is that a vocal tic? And just why did Beverly and Wesley destroy Slim’s truck? Was it merely because he’s a complete tool?

    R&R: Through early morning fog I see visions of the things to be–the things that are withheld for me. I realize and I can see that suicide is painless…

    @commodorejohn (#128): [F-] The 90s and the 00s have their identities, too–but it takes time to see them. Trying to define the identity of a decade while in the middle of it, or even not long after it, is like looking at a newspaper photograph (remember those?) through a magnifying glass. Just dots, really.

  143. Nehemiah Scudder
    September 7th, 2012 at 2:47 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#95):Victory, yes. Show me where “V for Victory” figured large in the first world war. I’m not finding it so far.

    I see no reason to doubt Wiki’s assertion that the “V for Victory” meme was first popularized by the BBC in WWII. Apparently some of the war bonds issued by the US in WWI were called “Liberty Loans”, Canada had Victory Loans.

    Does the trash can in fact say “loans”? I can’t be sure at the best resolution I can get. Anyway, it seems a little wrong putting patriotic slogans on trash cans in the first place, no?

  144. mayan apocalypse
    September 7th, 2012 at 2:53 pm [Reply]

    Howdy would you mind sharing which blog platform you’re working with? I’m planning to start my own blog soon but I’m having a hard time deciding between BlogEngine/Wordpress/B2evolution and Drupal. The reason I ask is because your design seems different then most blogs and I’m looking for something unique.
    P.S My apologies for being off-topic but I had to ask!

    [Spam IP blacklisted and URL removed -- UL @4:26]

  145. sporknpork
    September 7th, 2012 at 2:53 pm [Reply]

    I know Marvin focuses mostly on, well, Marvin, but surely the artist understands the difference between a coffee cup and a sippy cup?

  146. Peanut Gallery
    September 7th, 2012 at 3:00 pm [Reply]

    H&L – “Just because a record has a groove don’t make it in the groove.” — Stevie Wonder

  147. Artist formerly known as Ben
    September 7th, 2012 at 3:04 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#120): Sigh. Dave used to call me “mule”.

  148. Peanut Gallery
    September 7th, 2012 at 3:04 pm [Reply]

    love is… doing the same face-splat move Rusty did a couple days ago.

  149. Peanut Gallery
    September 7th, 2012 at 3:08 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#127): (Ziggy) Calling all Canadian commenters! Can we have some advice on how to really dress like a Canadian?

  150. Dale
    September 7th, 2012 at 3:10 pm [Reply]


    Would a giant sloth bear(*) eat Rusty? It would solve the disposal problem and make the poachers rich.
    (*) I thought they were extinct, but this is MT.

  151. Peanut Gallery
    September 7th, 2012 at 3:14 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#146): By the way, if anyone still has doubts that those are Andy Warhol Marilyn Monroes on the wall, here’s an example for comparison.

  152. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    September 7th, 2012 at 3:15 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#147):

    Old School Dave! Oh yeah!

    Sigh. Dave used to not understand my hostility towards him.

    Sigh. Dave used to work me like a claw.

    Sigh. Dave used to call me ‘Queenie’.

    Sigh. Dave used to ‘Missy’ me.

  153. Baka Gaijin
    September 7th, 2012 at 3:16 pm [Reply]

    “Don’t cut your hair like Moe Howard, dear,” is what Mrs. Worth should be saying to Gina instead of prattling on and on about the hospital.

  154. Josh
    September 7th, 2012 at 3:16 pm [Reply]

    @mayan apocalypse (#144): Hey there — I sent you an email with the info (the short answer is that I use WordPress). If you don’t get it, send me a note at and I’ll reply to you.


  155. Greg
    September 7th, 2012 at 3:20 pm [Reply]

    Hi and Lois: The Warhol Marilyn Monroes on the back wall are a nice touch. Too bad they were torn from Interview magazines and are covered in sperms.

  156. Phred22
    September 7th, 2012 at 3:21 pm [Reply]

    @casino LF (#125): JP: Avery should be careful because if he advances the plot too fast, the writers will shift to whatever Randy, Sophie or the rest and doing and leave him and Sam out here among these potentially violent pot growers.

  157. Irrischano
    September 7th, 2012 at 3:25 pm [Reply]

    I love Chip’s look in the last panel. He was totally gearing up to get the last word with some crack about how he don’t know what no LP is (since he’s one of Those Kids Today with the computer music and whatnot). Much to his surprise, he got PUNNED by his father out of nowhere. While it’s stupid enough to make not much sense at all, it’s clever enough to give Chip pause and realize how subpar their material tends to be.

  158. seismic-2
    September 7th, 2012 at 3:26 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#139): Has there ever been a comic strip divorce? Sure – for instance, title characters Funky Winkerbean and Mike Doonesbury are divorced from their first wives and are both re-married. And of course Blandthony had to get divorced from his first wife so that he could marry Elizabeth, as he was always fated to do. Right off I can’t think of a comics character who has been divorced more than once, but I’m sure there must be someone who’s used as a source of “can’t stay married” jokes (just as they are couples like the Halftracks who are used as a source of “shouldn’t stay married” jokes).

  159. Baka Gaijin
    September 7th, 2012 at 3:26 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#152): Dave used be the Rock and Roll Carole King.

  160. Baka Gaijin
    September 7th, 2012 at 3:31 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#152): Dave left the cake out in the rain, I don’t think that I can take it, ‘Cause it took so long to bake it, And I’ll never have that recipe again, oh no, Oh noooooooooooooo!

  161. Peanut Gallery
    September 7th, 2012 at 3:31 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#98): And let’s not forget “a La Thong”. (They’re so microscopic you practically need a magnifying glass! Or a microscope! Or a microscopic magnifier for seeing really really small things!)

  162. Red Greenback
    September 7th, 2012 at 3:34 pm [Reply]


  163. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    September 7th, 2012 at 3:35 pm [Reply]

    Dave used to say “My Gretchen!” a lot. And “It happened!”

    @bats :[ (#130): I have a Lava Lite right here. I should turn it on more often, but the switch is in an awkward place. And it makes the place warmer.

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#143): Here’s today’s strip. See if you can make it out. It’s kind of overinked. The V is pretty definite. “VICTORY” is clear enough. It might say “VICTORY LOAN,” or it might say “VICTORY LOAF” or “VICTORY LANE” or “VICTORY LOVE.” Victory Lanes was a bowling alley in Virginia, so I don’t think it was that.

  164. Peanut Gallery
    September 7th, 2012 at 3:45 pm [Reply]

    @mayan apocalypse (#144): Is it really worth starting a blog less than 4 months before the end? ;-)

  165. tallyHO
    September 7th, 2012 at 3:54 pm [Reply]

    @Dale (#150):

    “Would a giant sloth bear(*) eat Rusty? It would solve the disposal problem and make the poachers rich.”

    I dunno, man.

    I get the feeling the poachers would throw away the slothy parts* and try to salvage internal organs. Probably for specious reasons based on some superstition, like, He who can catch Sloth Bears and eat its heart will regain their youth and live a long time.**

    I doubt they’d try to keep them intact for zoos or museums or trophy hunter-wanna-bes. You’d think whole ones dead or alive would fetch top dollar.

    The poachers don’t seem that bright.


    **Waitasecond! Stop the Presses! Hold the phone! Call Aunt Tootsie and tell her we are on to her! Tell her to tell “Uncle Fred” he can come out now because we’re on to him too! Now tell him get off our backs about telling him to come on out! Then run around in a circle three times so we can see if you know what a circle is! Now pick yourself up off the ground cuz people are staring atcha!

    [Ohhhhhh Shoot! I forgot what my question/wisecrack was going to be.....]

    [five 15 20 minutes later....]

    Oh yeah!

    If Sloth Bears were indeed is not real (and this is Wikipedia-Free Friday for me) then there’s a good chance that the population was driven to extinction by the likes of Legacy Comic Strip Characters. I’m looking at Mary Worth. She probably has one of those industrial sized Freezers filled will Sloth Bear Parts, all frozen and ready to eat.

    Lots and lots of Slothstickles.

  166. tallyHO
    September 7th, 2012 at 3:57 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#165):

    and Slothsages!!! Lots and lots of Slothsages!

  167. tallyHO
    September 7th, 2012 at 3:59 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#166):

    I just hope they aren’t arranged in the shape of Slothstickas!

  168. Nehemiah Scudder
    September 7th, 2012 at 4:07 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#158): Isn’t there a couple in Barney Google who are constantly getting married and divorced to and from each other? Maybe that was just a one shot joke, tho.

  169. Hogenmogen
    September 7th, 2012 at 4:13 pm [Reply]

    H&L: Yeah, I remember back when records had grooves. I checked my records this morning, and sure enough, they all melted into a flat plate. This record-apocalypse is called the “vinyl solution”. The joke is on Hi, though, when the music ends and he instinctively reaches for the remote. After having to stand up and walk 3 times in an hour to physically flip or change the records, he begins to imagine a device that could store hundreds of albums in an object smaller than a deck of cards for easy portability and one that doesn’t sk-sk-sk-sk-skip. However, he will have to give up his awesome grooviness. And, when you think of “groovy” you can’t help but think of Hi Flagston. At least I can’t. At least after today.

    Kudos, though to H&L for saying “LPs” instead of “LP’s”, because the apostrophe is not warranted. Like other posters, I did think it said “lips”. Maybe because of the lack of apostrophe and the GIANT LIPS behind him, y’think?

  170. Hogenmogen
    September 7th, 2012 at 4:14 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#158): Maeve in Between Friends is divorced and constantly having bouts of not-reuniting with her ex.

  171. Mibbitmaker
    September 7th, 2012 at 4:16 pm [Reply]

    Dave used to look like Captain Kangaroo!

  172. AhClem
    September 7th, 2012 at 4:16 pm [Reply]

    @Ned Ryerson (#118): More often than not, the background hum in old tube amplifiers is due to dried-out filter capacitors in the power supply section. It’s a relatively easy fix — IF you can find the parts.

  173. Uncle Lumpy
    September 7th, 2012 at 4:22 pm [Reply]

    @Josh (#154):

    That’s spam. I shall neuter it.

  174. KreatureFeatures
    September 7th, 2012 at 4:25 pm [Reply]

    @balthazar (#133): Well said.

  175. hypochrismutreefuzz
    September 7th, 2012 at 5:18 pm [Reply]

    I thought that was a nice view of Mount Fuji-yama in the background of Mark Trail.

  176. Alison
    September 7th, 2012 at 5:23 pm [Reply]

    “Marvin”: Jenny, you are totally gross. What was it you wanted your husband to say? “Hey, you looked totally hot in sixth grade!”???

    Also, I don’t know anyone who would look at a picture of themselves as a gawky middle schooler and like it so much they would use it as their profile picture on Facebook.

    “Luann”: Why are Toni and Brad spending so much time discussing the non-relationship of Brad’s little sister? And in such a serious way too, as if Luann and Quill have a snowball’s chance in hell of ever getting back together. “Luann should tell Quill she loves him!” Yeah, fat lot of good that will do when they live zillions of miles apart.

  177. There have always been Snarkadders at Curmudgeon Farm
    September 7th, 2012 at 5:24 pm [Reply]

    @Dale (#150): Would a giant sloth bear eat Rusty?

    No. I think they eat insects and other verm… oh, wait. Well, maybe!

  178. debussy fields
    September 7th, 2012 at 5:55 pm [Reply]

    MT– “We’ll decide what to do with him later.” WHAT????? Why not now? What the hell is more important? It doesn’t make any fucking sense!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  179. Purple Prosecutor
    September 7th, 2012 at 6:31 pm [Reply]

    Hi isn’t listening to Booker T and the MGs, he’s listening to the collected entrance themes of the five-time, five-time, five-time, five-time, FIVE-TIME WCW champion! From GI Bro to King Booker, they’re all there! Now CAN YOU DIG THAT, SUCKA!?

  180. There have always been Snarkadders at Curmudgeon Farm
    September 7th, 2012 at 6:46 pm [Reply]

    @Alison (#176): Why are Toni and Brad spending so much time discussing the non-relationship of Brad’s little sister? And in such a serious way too, as if Luann and Quill have a snowball’s chance in hell of ever getting back together.

    The really irritating part is that it’s full of drama about non-relationships that never go anywhere. Luann and Quill. Brad and Tony. Gunther and Rosa. Knut and Crystal. Sure, the deGroots are married but look what that has yielded.

  181. Doyle
    September 7th, 2012 at 7:01 pm [Reply]

    9CL: AHHH another close up of Amo’s face DO NOT WANT
    I never realized how unappealing Amos was until this and yesterday’s panels. His mouth sticks out like a frog reach to spring out his tongue to catch a delicious dragonfly.

    His nose has grown 3x larger since yesterday too.

    must read more Brewster Rockit to cleanse brain

  182. Chaze
    September 7th, 2012 at 7:06 pm [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#171): Aldooooooooo

  183. tallyHO
    September 7th, 2012 at 7:37 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#158):

    Thanks. I guess it figures that those two would be examples.

    For some reason, I thought there may have been ones introduced later that might have those types of couples/ former couples. Obviously, the domestic life strips have strong marriages and so do workplace ones. But, I guess I expected there to be a A “Ziggy” or a “Cathy” for divorcees. Or, just different dynamics.

    The COTW is up.
    Sorry for the late reply.
    I missed out the chance to reply to this earlier but I’m glad I saw the answer you gave. Now, I suppose I’ll congratulate the fine winner and floater for their funny comments.

  184. tallyHO
    September 7th, 2012 at 7:59 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#158):

    Bah! I meant to write the Legacy domestic life strips, like Dennis the Menace, Family Circus and the like. I just thought with the “serious” soap opera strips there may have been ones which had something like that. Heck, even Apartment 3G….

    But, I don’t know the whole cast of most of the bigger strips, like Doonesbury and Funkitfied Winkerbeanus.

  185. Lukash
    September 7th, 2012 at 8:52 pm [Reply]

    9CL: All I know that it will take Edda least three weeks for her to actually answer Amos. And it will be done in the Doggy style position.

  186. Sgt. Stoned
    September 7th, 2012 at 11:20 pm [Reply]

    BB (Ms. Buxley): “I want a man who’s a sex machine…though asexual like Beetle would be OK.”

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