Metapost: Late night comments of the week!
Sure, it’s the wee hours, but by my estimation, I’m still on time with this week’s COMMENT OF THE WEEK!
“I know I shouldn’t be so picky, but really! Nothing about this ‘flashback’ looks all that flashy … or backy.” –trooper6
And there were many funny runners up!
“Once again, Mel Lazarus reveals his hell-bent determination to prove Freud right on just about everything.” –Zaq
“It occurs to me that [Momma's] title character’s last name, Hobbs, is quite appropriate, as she is nasty, brutish, and, most of all, short.” –Ken D
“I think one of the 35-year old Lady Mudlarks got loose in New York City and she’s interviewing Lu Ann for Girl Talk. Look her, pivoting all about. Watch out for her hook shot, Lu Ann!” –Maggi
“It’s fortunate that Mary learned at a young age to ‘delight in the insignificant,’ given that the next 150 or so years of her life would comprise nothing but.” –Violet
“As this drags on, I am now on a road trip to insanity and Mary Worth is driving.” –Kilroy
“Dear Eduardo Barreto, Re: 3/19/08 Judge Parker, panel two: Please bear in mind that Sophie does not need to look quite so much like Sam Driver as you have done so here, because (a) Sophie is adopted, (b) Sam is not her natural father, and (c) Sophie is a girl.” –True Fable
“I always thought the bizarre, awkward, flat-yet-gravity-defying ponytail on Vera was Vera-specific. Now I know this artist just has no idea what a ponytail looks like. Does he think they actually look like the TAILS of PONIES?” –kostia
“By the way, what the hell is low-fat ‘girl cereal?’ Product 19? Total? PMS flakes?” –Shermy Glamrocker
“‘A ring — the token that says I’m no longer a person, I’m a possession!’ Next step: mom jeans.” –Tats
“Alan is the best groomed junkie in history. Now he’s going to be the politest, most trusting smack dealer ever. ‘Um, sure, as long as you promise to pay me tomorrow. Pinky swear?’” –Cranky
“It strikes me as weird and wrong to want to smell like one’s rutting parent.” –Spotted HØrse, Jungle Steed
“You can see the panic starting to flare in Margo’s cold, robot eyes: ‘Lu Ann … halt. Please cease hug function. I am not equipped to process human emotions. Halt hugging. Warning! Overloading personality matrix!’ (At this point, just use your imagination to picture the mechanical whirring and smoke that is surely about to start pouring from Margo’s ears.)” –Jilliterate
“Revenge is a dish best served in fluorescent lime green taffeta with cartwheel hats.” –jayjaybear
“Gil Thorp is definitely not the same without the old artist. But this guy has at least retained the totally baffling quality that distinguishes GT from everything else. That third panel: is that a flashback? Is A-Train still on the phone? Who needs to make the call? What’s going on? What strip am I reading? Who am I?” –Mollie
“Did FC forget that it’s a heavily Christian comic, and today is Easter? Why aren’t they in church? I mean, there wasn’t even a filthy-faced child shoving candy into its toothless mouth-hole.” –Loopina
“You know, I’d be as scared as Rex Morgan too, if I were getting telephoned by a vampire. Were we to peek on the other side of that glass door, I’m sure we’d see Andy The Hospital Contact wiping blood from his mouth with a handful of Puffs™ ultra wipes. Good thing Rex can’t tell a staph infection from twin puncture wounds, or else he’d be right out as the patsy for his demonic hospital administration; unemployed, he’d be forced to spend time with his wife and child. I’m sure if you asked the wife and child, they’d prefer it if half the town got drained like bathwater.” –RaJ
And did somebody say “fun pictures”? Faithful reader The Spectacular Spider Brick sent in this pic of him on Jungle Patrol, wearing the spiffy Jungle Patrol shirt he designed. “As you can see, the Jungle Patrol doesn’t just patrol tropical jungles,” he notes.
And I’ve been meaning for about ever to post this picture of faithful reader AMSTERDANG, who was seized by an inexplicable urge to imitate A3G’s Jones the Beatnik, Alan’s buddy/enabler.
And finally, we must give thanks to our advertisers, before I go crawl into bed.
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Mr. O'Malley
March 25th, 2008 at 1:59 am
A good crop of comments this week.
On time, Josh, it’s only 11:59 here.
True Fable
March 25th, 2008 at 1:59 am
Yay! I get to wave and toss beads and baubles to everyone! And to think I owe it to the fact that I can tell what girls look like, and Sam Driver can’t.
True Fable
March 25th, 2008 at 2:01 am
#2 Well, actually, Eduardo Barreto couldn’t tell the difference this time, but that still doesn’t explain Sam’s persistent ED.
ChattyGenes
March 25th, 2008 at 2:02 am
Congratulations, all! And, lookin’ good, SpiderBrick!
Mr. O'Malley
March 25th, 2008 at 2:59 am
A-3G: We need a little backstory here. How exactly does Alan have an old friend at the Shaolin monastery?
BTW number names were used in ancient Rome—the Emperor Augustus was formerly known as Octavius (#8). The custom is still sometimes followed in Romance language-speaking countries. Example: Nobel Prize winner Octavio Paz.
So Ten it is. Even if it is reminiscent of those Charlie Chan movies.
Crankshaft: I’ve only been reading this comic for a couple of years, so I have yet to encounter Max, but judging by their greying hair and refusal to give up seventies soup-plate glasses, he must be in his twenties, so isn’t it high time he stopped living with the ‘rents?
DtM: Don’t say, show!
MW: I call foul here. Yesterday Mary implied that she was a frequent guest at Cathy’s house. Cathy’s parents only say grace on Fridays or something? Just please let it not start “Lord, I just want to say…”
And Mary discovered:
She could steal a big handful of mashed potatoes and hide it in her pocket while everyone’s eyes were closed?
Cathy started playing footsies under the table?
Cathy’s Dad put his hand on Mary’s knee under the table?
Cathy’s mother demonstrated Maharishi energy by levitating the dinner?
MC: Promising development. I like to think I helped a little. I would link to my sage advice, but I’m too lazy.
GF: I was hoping bats :[ had called it with “Brother Catfael”. Insanely funny! Still time though. The Devil’s Litterbox awaits.
Agnes: Bill Gates was NOT a hardware guy. Bill Gates wrote a BASIC interpreter and complained because so many people stole it that he became the richest man in the world, until the collapse of the US dollar.
PmP, RwO, BC, Dilbert, PBS funny today.
OBH: I like “you have the right to rename science”. Hah—”intelligent design”, what do you think about that!
Monty generally does a week’s worth of strips on the same topic. It looks like this week it’s going to be “Six Differences” jokes. Off to a good start. Makes me wonder if Jim Meddick is a lurker here. If he’s much like his title character, he could well be.
True Fable
March 25th, 2008 at 3:01 am
Standing in shorts in the SNOW. Spider-Brick for the WIN.
As a child of the South, my hat’s off to you. I get the chills if there’s more than three ice cubes in my glass. It’s my Red Hot Fable nature, I guess. :D
Farley's Revenge
March 25th, 2008 at 3:07 am
Congratulations to all the CoTW’ers!
Mr. O'Malley
March 25th, 2008 at 3:11 am
Say, technical question here. I post at 12:59 PDT and it’s tagged as 2:59 AM. It seems to me that the server used to be on East Coast time and I know Josh lives on the East Coast. Did the server somehow forget to update to Daylight Saving?
I remember the year America stayed on Daylight Saving for the whole year. And instituted a 55 MPH pretend speed limit. Almost like Prohibition! That really showed those oil sheiks!
I seem to remember we are doing Daylight Saving earlier now, perhaps the server didn’t get the memo and is still going on the old rules. Time will tell I suppose.
When I first got a digital camera, I entered the date and time, and I have never modified it since, so anyone who tries to write my biography based on the metadata of my photos will be an hour off every half year.
KT
March 25th, 2008 at 3:45 am
Remember the get-together in Tucson earlier this month?
I been slow (yeah, like a turtle) but I’ve finally started drawing a cartoon about it!
Title page: http://kinkyturtle.masemware.com/diaries/personal/cctucson/cctucson-0.jpg
Page 1-1: http://kinkyturtle.masemware.com/diaries/personal/cctucson/cctucson-1-1.gif
Also I took some photos: http://kinkyturtle.masemware.com/diaries/personal/cctucson/photos/
The next two pages are actually finished but not scanned yet. So, uh, keep watching this space!
Whippersnapper
March 25th, 2008 at 4:35 am
Congrats to trooper6 and all the float-riders!
Yesterday’s Foob: So Elly’s dream is for Liz to get married in an M.C. Escher drawing?
Ed Power, writer of My Cage
March 25th, 2008 at 5:21 am
Mr. O’M
MC: Promising development. I like to think I helped a little. I would link to my sage advice, but I’m too lazy.
Well, your advice was sage (and much appreciated) but the strips running this week were done a bit before that (we work 2-3 months in advance).
Still, it was all excellent feedback and I’ll probably ask again next year! :D (Y’know…provided we aren’t canceled and newspapers don’t go extinct).
Oh, and excellent work with the McGuffin Inc thing the other day, to eveyone who answered that. Not that I didn’t think people here would get it. I figured movie fans and comic fans have a good size community overlap.
gleeb
March 25th, 2008 at 5:42 am
A3G: Crap, it really is Old Master Po. Eric hopes that the secrets of Kung Fu (aka Gong Fu or Parcheesi) will make him the equal of Margo.
Better Half: Well, sometimes a cigar isn’t just a cigar.
’shaft: Of course, the only reason she feels bad is the immanent arrival of the old woman.
‘bean: Oh yeah, Creepy Les is gettin’ robbed. Maybe not this week, but definitely gettin’ robbed.
H&L: What kind of configuration does the inside of Lois’ office have? That big “Equit Realt” sign should be backwards, right? Anyway, all she’s doing is making child-like line drawings of houses, so I guess she’ll be glad to get out for a while.
Steve Shannon, Navy Vet: “So, you’re starting today, right? I can rob your old mother after my shift is up?”
Mary: “After grace, I crossed myself. Cathy’s folks were radical Unitarians. That was the last time I ate there.”
Little Guy
March 25th, 2008 at 6:06 am
Congrats to all the COTWers!
MT: “A puppy?!? Screw Daddy! This is much better than all the Zoloft in Mommy’s cabinet!”
LITTLE A. OF THE GRAND CONCOURSE JUNGLE PATROL
March 25th, 2008 at 6:14 am
DT: I did a web search on the word, kwanxoi, and it means ceramic piece of crap that looks like an ancient Chinese MIng period horse that is sold to tourists in Chinatown at an inflated price.
man behind the curtain
March 25th, 2008 at 6:33 am
MW — For the first time, Mary realized that everyone was not Jewish.
Congrats to all the COTW selectees and to josh for combing through the latest crop of comments.
Buck Ripsnort
March 25th, 2008 at 6:53 am
A3G: “Haha, no ring for you, Margo! I’m even studying w/ Caine’s old teacher, learning amazing, kung fu Zen powers to avoid marriage!”
You’ll need ‘em, Eric. You’ll need ‘em.
Dr. Mabuse
March 25th, 2008 at 6:57 am
FBOFW – I see April has to wear the Bun of Death too. Is it part of the female dress code chez Patterson?
And Elizabeth didn’t even bother telling her own father in person that she was getting married? Where was he while she was telling Elly? I notice they bothered making a trip all the way to the house to inform her parents – where was John? Even if he was out at the model train store when they arrived, it’s not like he’s at the office all day; they could have sat down and waited for him to return. Unless the ring-shopping, buying, travelling and telling all occurred on Liz’s lunch hour and she had to get back to work. I suspect LJ is just deliberately excluding him from any event that could be considered “important”, no matter how unrealistic that is. It’ll be interesting to see how she managed to louse up his involvement in the wedding.
Justafoob
March 25th, 2008 at 7:15 am
Jeez, if looks could kill.
John wishes that Apewill had died in that stream, and then he wouldn’t have to spring for another wedding.
At least if Apewill had drowned and Farley survived, Farley could have been put to sleep by now.
Whippersnapper
March 25th, 2008 at 7:20 am
MW: “I suddenly realized that Cathy and her parents were truly angels of mercy. Then the Angels of Meddling and Smug Self-Righteousness appeared and beat the crap out of them. And lo, I discovered my calling.”
lynngineering
March 25th, 2008 at 7:40 am
#17 Dr. Mabuse – Lynn has used John’s role in the lead-up to this whole state-of-affairs: it started from the moment the rape trial was over, in the car ride back where he already was badgering her to think about Anthony. And as she placed Liz living back at her parents house, in her old bedroom, John could always do follow-up, just inadvertandtly showing up in her bedroom at whatever time he feels, and remind her over and over how good a guy Anthony is. He was the human equivalent of a tape-player under her pillow repeating mantras as she sleeps.
He’s working on April now.
ltrftp Hedly
March 25th, 2008 at 7:43 am
The only “girl cereal” I can think of is Post Menopausal”
ltrftp Hedly
March 25th, 2008 at 7:45 am
Would “Pop Tarts” count?
Niall
March 25th, 2008 at 7:47 am
The snarking today whoudl be epic. Some are mindboggling. (BB, for one… wtf?)
My Cage also looks to be epic in the good sense. :)
KT: Great photos! I was perplexed to see an English and French sign in the Southwest… but as for that cover page: um, shouldn’t that be 2008? :)
Niall
March 25th, 2008 at 7:48 am
HEDLY!! Holy crap I nearly spewed Lemon Zinger all over my keyboard!!!
(better luck next time. :)
Tweeks_Coffee
March 25th, 2008 at 7:58 am
3/25
A3G: Oh, so that explains why that monk looks so white bread. Ten?
BB: What? That’s it, the peroxide’s killed her brain.
DtM: Going off alone with Dennis, eh? Either something dirty will happen or Dennis going to have a little “accident” on this trip.
FOOB: Because, of course, the ultimate goal of having kids is to get them married off ASAP. Hell, why not just arrange a marriage between Gerald and April now? After all, they’re all destined to marry old friends anyway.
FW: I got it, Les has gone senile. How else would you explain him walking around this restaurant and talking to himself like this?
GT: Ah, the major flaw in their plan is revealed; Marty’s a drunk who has a tendency to spout gibberish at any given moment.
H&L: What, Lois didn’t know that? Well it’s true, a rainy day is a great day to look at houses.
MW: “Rub-a-dub-dub, thanks for the grub. Yay, God!”
Phantom: So the Ghost-who-doesn’t-plan-ahead is going to some extremes to get these two horribly underqualified women into Jungle Patrol. They’ll be hosed down their first day of duty by some street punks, no doubt.
S-M: So Spider-Man gets past the security and what’s Krandis’ back up? Firearms? Explosives? A can of Raid? Nope, he’s got nothing.
Shoshi
March 25th, 2008 at 8:13 am
Moving from defunct previous thread:
FW — Was it really called “Montovani’s” and “Montoni’s” is just a nickname, or what?
FOOB — Like others, I am jarred by the casual way that the news is given to Liz’s father (while he is dishing up food in the other room), and his blase reaction.
But I am also bemused by Elly’s statement that seeing one’s child get married gives one “an overwhelming sense of pride and accomplishment”. Pride about what accomplishment? Raising a kid who is mature enough to get married? As it turns out, there are no restrictions about that (as can be seen all around us). As long as you meet the chronological requirement the state lets you marry. But it does explain why she is in such a pressured rush to see her kids marry–it is a point of achievement for her, personally.
As for trying to get April off the roadside and to the altar–contrast that with Arlo and Janis, where the mom seems very sad that her offspring is out of the house even for college.
Islamorada Girl
March 25th, 2008 at 8:13 am
Tomorrow and the rest of the week and for all I know, the rest of the month: Mary Worth finds God!
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
March 25th, 2008 at 8:27 am
And now, it’s time for Filthy-Minded Comics!
9CL: Somewhere in a hidden folder on Brooke McEldowney’s hard drive, there’s a version of the last panel of this strip that includes a ball gag, a riding crop and a suspension harness.
A3G: That strikes me as an excessively artful way of pledging one’s faithfulness. Wouldn’t a normal person say “I’ll keep my promise to you, Margo”? I wouldn’t be surprised if
AlanEric followed this up with a thought bubble reading “So it’s a good thing I had my fingers crossed with you, Margo!”A.D.: Did Windex pay to be included in this comic, or did Glass Plus pay not to be?
BH: Because when a woman smokes a cigar, men can imagine her smoking beef, if you catch my drift. I’m sure that all throughout history, whenever a man invented a cylindrical food product — pickle, sausage, popsicle, chocolate-covered banana — his first thoughts were a variation of “I can’t wait to see a chick eat this.” I mean, come on, is there any other reason for the existence of the corn dog?
EC: I have no idea what that device Len is holding is. A crank-operated rope dispenser?
FC: He twisted your skull around backwards on your body, Billy. Either Billy has a really short attention span, or his carotid arteries are compressed and the anoxia is already setting in.
H&J: I’m sure that Wendy Williams was really something back in the day, but electrical tape doesn’t exactly provide a lot of support. They’re probably hanging around her waist now. Run, Jamaal, run! Before she flaps you to death with them!
Big Dog: Quickly, while the demon is trapped! Get the long knives!
MW: “Then something happened that would change my life forever! Slowly, gradually, the lamp on the dining room sideboard behind me started to lengthen! And, next to it, the” — hey, come to think of it, what is that next to the lamp? Some sort of high-tech air freshener dispenser? A brushed-steel Smurf house? A 1:250 scale model of the Cloud City on Bespin? A Sybian?
Weaselboy
March 25th, 2008 at 8:29 am
Congrats to trooper6, and props to Ken D for the Thomas Hobbes reference. Nice work.
Calico
March 25th, 2008 at 8:36 am
MW – Good bread, good meat
Good gosh, let’s eat!
Mary will have a rapture at the dinner table.
Tweeks_Coffee
March 25th, 2008 at 8:37 am
#28 – SSB EC: I have no idea what that device Len is holding is. A crank-operated rope dispenser?
It’s a hand-operated snake, he’s trying to unclog the drain. Though how he managed to break a water pipe (In the basement, no less, where the pipes are overhead) is a mystery to me.
Calico
March 25th, 2008 at 8:39 am
FOOB – Wow, John wants Apes to go roadside even more than she wants to herself. Nice.
What are they eating for dinner, bubblegum casserole?
Joe, Upper-Evergreen FOOB-hater
March 25th, 2008 at 8:39 am
Mary Worth(less): (January): Something’s going to happen……(February): Something’s going to happen……(March): Something’s going to happen……(April): Almost there……(May): Here it comes…….(June): Wait, something’s going to happen…..
FOOB: Yeah, that’s right John. First the infidelity that you and SmElly encouraged and even helped along, now your “parently” dreams come true as Elizaloser lives the life you want and marries the man you want.
But that’s what FBOFW is all about………it’s all about how the PARENTS want their adult kids to be…..
Fuckin’ Foobs.
smacky
March 25th, 2008 at 8:45 am
Mary Worth is going to become a woman. Certainly a first period during dinner at a friend’s house would be a monumental event. Is Moy bold enough to “go there?”
Because “I found God while praying for the first time ever over a slab of meatloaf” is just a lame road to go down.
smacky
March 25th, 2008 at 8:49 am
Also, how priceless would the look on Tobey’s face be? “Your period? This entire flashback was a build-up to the story about your first period? WTF, Mary?!?!?“
Joe, Upper-Evergreen FOOB-hater
March 25th, 2008 at 9:06 am
20 Lynngineering:
John is “showing up in Elizaloser’s bedroom anytime he wants to” and now he’s “working on April”………???
Ewww.
Bootsy
March 25th, 2008 at 9:08 am
Spec Spider Brick sez:
You do know that we’re just going to bite the end off and eat the whole thing, right? I would think that thought would be a little disconcerting to a man.
And by the way, Spec, I’m with Truman on the pic. Being from the tropical south, my second thought was, jeez, man, put on a coat! (My first thought was much dirtier.)
Loopina
March 25th, 2008 at 9:14 am
Yay for me, 2 weeks in a row! No hugging!
Hank
March 25th, 2008 at 9:18 am
RE: Mary Worth: “When Cathy’s mother started to say grace…I followed the others…then something happened that would change my life forever.” Unseen third panel: “The demon Paelzibast, who has resided in me since birth, finally decided to manifest himself by forcing me to spit pea soup, spin my head around and, ultimately, meddle in the lives of others for all of eternity.”
Artist formerly known as Ben
March 25th, 2008 at 9:21 am
3/25
Congratulations. I enjoyed both the COTWs and the peek-a-tures, a word I promise not to use again.
DtM: The teacher in the black sweater is actually Dennis’ publicist. He needs someone to build him up as a menace, so why not a professional?
H&L: We can laugh, but this house-hunting strategy actually makes sense. Okay, we can’t laugh.
PBS: Best thing is that the croc that gets fired is wearing a Dilbert tie, or at least it looks like one when he gets knocked over.
Big Dog: You think the Great Dane’s got it all, then he goes and tries to hang himself.
FW: MANTOVANI ROBBED! 101 Strings held for questioning
JP: OJ’s taken a part time job driving the bus while he looks for the real killer.
SFx: The dog is looking on aghast as the cat prepares to chow down on a clockwork bird, oblivious to the tiny but tasty guppy nearby. Even the fish feels compelled to watch.
H&J: Wendy “Wedlock” Williams? Sounds like a Li’l Abner character took a wrong turn at Dogpatch.
MC: You know what I’d like to see? Norm’s father dating Sally Forth’s mother. I know it would probably require interdimensional travel, and could conceivably be considered bestiality. But the same could be said of Howard the Duck and Bev.
DT: The rage Dick feels when he hears words he can’t spell builds up. All fuel for the fatal confrontation, of course.
A3G: In fact, that’s not even a monk. He’s just another guy shaving his head to outsmart male pattern baldness.
Momma: For the sake of all our sanity, let’s agree that when she says, “I don’t like that my son has to eat it,” she’s talking about dinner.
GA: The Yalie is picking up a few casual-sounding Spanish phrases, which may mean he intends a career in politics. By the way, is there any chance we’ll actually see this guy sleepwalk in my lifetime?
RMMD: “Andy, I’m going to give you my considered medical opinion. You need to give up on the goatee. There, I said it. It’s not filling in, and even if it did, you wouldn’t look any younger.”
Hank
March 25th, 2008 at 9:27 am
RE: FOOB. Others have said it already, but the marginalization of John, coupled with his insensitive behavior when he does appear, is obvious and, I dare say, petty. If Lynn can’t stand to write the character without demonizing him, maybe that’s yet another sign she should give the strip up. In fact, I’m starting to think the only reason she’s keeping the strip going is to attack her husband for leaving her.
RE: Garfield. I’m sorry. I laughed at today’s strip. Admittedly, my WIFE did not.
RE: Mark Trail What kind of animal welfare organization gives a puppy to a little girl with emotional problems and a broken family in crisis? In my experience, rescue and animal rights groups are, if anything, too picky about who they let adopt (just ask Ellen DeGeneres).
RE: Rex Morgan Rex is silent in that last panel, but you know what he’s thinking: “Two Different Schools? I WILL find the cause of this infection even if have to visit every boys’ locker room in every high school, heck, every middle school-no, dammit-every elementary school in the city….several times…with a camera…”
RE: Spiderman Krandis is resorting to “TV Superman” style backup plans. He’s going to have the Persuader just fling MJ at Spidey and hope he doesn’t duck.
Nazlan
March 25th, 2008 at 9:27 am
FOOB: Because raising your children to be independent, responsible, well-educated, well-rounded adults isn’t nearly as important as getting them married off to the first person you think is sucker enough to take them off your hands.
Artist formerly known as Ben
March 25th, 2008 at 9:29 am
#28 Spectacular Spider-Brick
Actually that particular Wendy Williams emptied her skull about ten years ago. So Jamaal better really hope it’s not her, is what I’m saying.
Hank
March 25th, 2008 at 9:32 am
RE: Dick Tracy. I think the writer/artist is actually now writing the strip as “Sledge Hammer” style sitcom.
First you had the Gretchen explosion, in which Tracy ended up looking like Wile E. Coyote, soot covered and bewildered, after an Acme malfunction. Then, there was the Abbot and Costelloesque visit to a haunted house. Now we have a visibly perturbed Dick, being warned (in a case of foreshadowing even less subtle than an episode of Laverne and Shirley), not to damage the priceless antique trojan horse that he’s going to try and squeeze into.
The sheer absurdity of the current plots, coupled with the increasingly broad artwork, all says that Locher (a talented poltiical cartoonist and satirist in his own right) has decided to stop aping Chester Gould and just turn Tracy into a farce that mocks out of control power made public officials.
Patrick
March 25th, 2008 at 9:45 am
I have to agree with the commenters who find disgusting the Patterson attitude towards their Lizardbreath “finally” getting married. How inconsiderate of Liz not to have done it earlier, what nerve! How dare she thwart their plans for her complete subjugation by leaving home and teaching at a faraway school!
FOOB is a nationally syndicated revenge fantasy and as such, is Lynn’s method of attempting to humiliate everyone who ever crossed her real or imagined. Not that any Mudge here doesn’t know that already.
Gabe
March 25th, 2008 at 9:47 am
Ah! Buxley on a TUESDAY? Was there another day-swap at the syndicate? The balance of the universe will be thrown off!
Dean Booth of the Affect Ad Patrol
March 25th, 2008 at 9:51 am
Great CsOTW, as usual. SSBrick, is that a belt-mounted bird house? Coolio!
Calico
March 25th, 2008 at 9:54 am
#43 – Yes, she was working at an animal shelter, I believe, after her stint with the Plasmatics (?) but was seriously depressed, and shot herself in the woods. I think this was in 1995…?
briantologist
March 25th, 2008 at 9:58 am
Reading Jilliterate’s Margo-Robot dialog instantly changed the voice I imagine Margo speaking with to the crazed, overprocessed shrieking of the Daleks from “Dr. Who,” and for this I am eternally grateful. “EXTERMINATE!”
gkl
March 25th, 2008 at 9:59 am
MW: If this turns into an extended B.C. Religious Extravaganza Production Number With Kickline, I’m going to be very annoyed. At this point, the only real hope for it not to be is that we’re going to finally discover how Mary learned how to make her famous “Gruel with Colored Lumps,” but somehow, I doubt that’s going to be the result of prayer.
GA: Amanda Lynn doesn’t want to be numero duo. To accentuate this point, she holds up three fingers. It’s a good thing she wasn’t concerned about being number eight, or she’d have to take off her shoes.
Little A. of The Bronx Jungle Partrol
March 25th, 2008 at 10:03 am
FOOB: I guess nobody has seen fit to tell April yet that her beloved older sister is getting married, as there she goes sompelace blowing bubbles. This strip really exists in the seventh dimension or the eleventh dimension or maybe Canadians just experience things differently than we do down here in our four dimensions. This strip should be renamed and quickly, For Better or for Syrup of Ipecac.
More information about syrup of ipecac may be found on the internet, and on the Foob website.
DAS
March 25th, 2008 at 10:05 am
MC? BH?
Is there are list of abbreviations for those of us who are terminally dense?
UncleJeff
March 25th, 2008 at 10:13 am
FBoFW: I think everybody on the blog is convinced April will go roadside to try to get the spotlight before the Blessed Virgin Liz’s nuptuals.
But who would Trainman John approve of to take the soiled dove in permanent thrall?
I rule out Gerald because he might be a traveling musician (not stable or reliable).
I’m guessing if the Starey Eyed HOOH! Guy can get a cart-pusher job over at the WalMart, he could be in the lead in the April Sweepstakes.
Poteet
March 25th, 2008 at 10:15 am
Wow, what a lineup. Hilarity reigns this week in both comments and photos. Congratulations to trooper6 and your extremely funny float companions, and also to Spiderbrick and Amsterdang. I’m gonna toss chocolate at all of you, and I don’t do that lightly. (If you don’t want it, just leave it — I’ll pick up the strays, heh-heh.)
Gabe
March 25th, 2008 at 10:16 am
MC is My Cage. BH is Better Half, I think? Not to be confused with OBH = One Big Happy.
Old School Allie Cat
March 25th, 2008 at 10:25 am
MW – So does this mean that Mary Worth is a Christian Single?
FOOB – John may be an asshole, but it’s the most emotionally honest thing that’s appeared in this strip in weeks. I feel fairly certain that as soon as my vows were said with Mr. Cat, my father breathed a sign of relief to be done with weddings.
I think the reason they’re keeping April in the dark is that she would react with the pure scorn and contempt that the situation demands, “She’s marrying that Limp Dick? Hoo! Does that mean that the hot Helicopter Pilot is up for grabs?”
At least now April is guaranteed to have Francie at the kids table from now on – and since she’s the world’s smartest toddler, she and April should be on the same level to converse by (Canadian) Thanksgiving.
A3G – You know, Margo is the most interesting when she’s in full-on bitch mode. I’m not sure the world is ready for this kinder, gentler Margo.
S4th – I’d much rather see Ted mincing around NYC. A horse drawn carriage ride thru Central Park, taking in a matinee, eating a hot dog. Really, basically anything other than sitting thru a borning conference with Sally while she whines about it. I could do that in my real life.
Tweeks_Coffee
March 25th, 2008 at 10:26 am
#53 – UncleJeff: Well, this did occur to me earlier, but good taste forced me to cut it from my original commentary. However, since you asked…
Going by the current formula, April will end up with a current friend. That friend would have to be loyal and generally a decent person, if not unremarkable. That person would also have to occasionally show a bit of backbone, but only occasionally. Whoever it is won’t have many aspirations outside of Milborough and will be perfectly content to stay there for all eternity.
So taking that all into account, there’s only one logical choice. That’s right, April’s gonna end up with Sha..n…non
DAS
March 25th, 2008 at 10:33 am
Gabe,
Thank you.
Gold-Digging Nanny
March 25th, 2008 at 10:34 am
Wow … awesome comments this week! Thanks, everybody!
Calico
March 25th, 2008 at 10:38 am
#53 – If Liz remembers, she has a “friend” named Jesse who she promised over and over she’d not forget, visit, write, etc. etc. Bullshit.
IF she thinks of him ever again, she could extend an invite for him to come down to Blandsborough for the *urp* wedding, and he and April could do it together.
That probably won’t happen, though, as Jesse isn’t white enough for a sacred, blanched, colorless FOOB.
“They don’t share each other’s culture.”
Poteet
March 25th, 2008 at 10:41 am
# 54 — Very sorry, Spider-Brick — I forgot your hyphen and capitalization. *slaps her head to reinforce memory next time*
# 6 True Fable — I share your admiration of Spider-Brick’s feat of winter courage. Me, I wouldn’t-a done it. All hail, Spider-Brick!
However, as a child of the relative North Country (not that I put Iowa in the same class as Minnesota, Canada, upper New England, etc), I feel you should know that there are actually days when fluffy snow adorns the ground and tree branches and the air feels (very relatively) temperate, or at least bearable. One can march around outside for a while (ordinarily in coat, pants, etc., unlike the courageous Spider-Brick) thinking “gee, how pretty.”
But a day when the actual temp is around zero F and a north wind is gusting at 35 mph and the snow has been entirely blown off the trees and is forming large drifts across your driveway, and ice is already everywhere — that’s the day when you go outside to scrape off your car and after five minutes or so you look at your woollen-gloved hands and think “gee, I thought I had fingers but I can’t feel them at all, how interesting” and then you realize that you should have worn your really big heavy gloves, the ones that look more like the gloves worn by Everest climbers, and then as you realize that in spite of your hat and hood, your cheeks and chin have gone totally numb and that your also-numb nose would be dripping about a teaspoon of snot except that the snot has frozen into ice crystals within your nostrils, you think “dang, yep, it’s pretty cold.”
Zaq
March 25th, 2008 at 10:47 am
Woo, my first COTW! Well, runner-up, but still!
Meanwhile, in C’Shaft, the husband is trying to give his wife permanent brain damage. Lead? Really?
Flipper
March 25th, 2008 at 11:00 am
#26 Shoshi – The joke is that the paper spelled “Montoni’s” wrong, robbing Funky of the free publicity. (When in doubt, crank up your internal laughtrack as you read the last panel of Funky Winkerbean and just move along. Works for me.)
oceans 111
March 25th, 2008 at 11:05 am
#28 – I’ve often wondered about the cylindrical food thing. I like to eat bananas with a ringing “clomp” at every bite. Do guys really get off on watching us chomp an inch at a time off of a surrogate dick?
Foob: I don’t follow all of the details, but I gather from some of the comments that the women of the family get married in the same dress for several generations. I don’t know about other families, but my mother is the only woman on either side of the family to be shaped or sized anything like I am. Both of my grandmothers were at or under 5′5″ before elderly shrinkage, and the only great- grandmother from whom we inherited anything clothing-related was about 5′. Mom and I are both 5′8″.
Also a general ditto to scorn for the idea that parents would consider their children “truly adult” when married, rather than in a job that gives them happiness and fulfullment, or, in more general sense, self-supporting while doing something that satisfies them.
man behind the curtain
March 25th, 2008 at 11:19 am
MW — As Cathy’s mother started to say “Grace” I suddenly realized that I couldn’t stand these people and my poverty-stricken life with my poor single mother wasn’t so miserable after all because it was my life. I realized that you couldn’t find happiness living vicariously through the lives of another family. Instead you must find happiness within your own life. Thus I became committed to meddling into other people’s lives so they could also find the same contentment that I had found as a child. Either that or I realized I wasn’t hungry.
commodorejohn
March 25th, 2008 at 11:22 am
Crankshaft – TIN FOIL. It’s TIN FOIL. GET IT RIGHT.
Curtis – I’m just waiting for the Ron Paul chick to drop in.
DT – Chekov’s Horse.
FOOB – OH FUCK YOU
GF – Oh man oh man oh man, I’m looking forward to this.
Marmaduke – GOD ALMIGHTY THAT THING IS HUGE
MW – Is Mary going to inform us that Jesus tells her to meddle?
RMMD – Oh goody, another goddamn drug storyline.
Artist formerly known as Ben
March 25th, 2008 at 11:24 am
#52 & 55,
BH could also mean Broom Hilda, but ol’ greenie isn’t much talked about in these parts.
Poteet
March 25th, 2008 at 11:29 am
# 61 — Forgot to add that even the second scenario is far, far warmer than Margo’s heart.
AMSTERDANG
March 25th, 2008 at 11:37 am
Thanks for the shout-out. I was pointing the way to some smack/crank/maryjane that night and my old lady took the phot-oh! Later, she was like, dude, you’re totally Jonesing! I was like, uh, what? Better link: http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComick.mpl?date=20080225&name=Apartment_3-G
Shermy Glamrocker
March 25th, 2008 at 11:45 am
I made it! I’ll never forget my first time. Thanks, Josh.
Congrats to the COTW and other runners-up.
Old School Allie Cat
March 25th, 2008 at 11:55 am
#70 -Shermy – I kind of figured we’d see yours in the lineup. In fact, I was at the grocery store in the cereal aisle over the weekend thinking I needed to pick up some more PMS Flakes.
Nice work all COTWers!
Kumquat, Jungle Citrus Fruit
March 25th, 2008 at 12:08 pm
Could it be that Cathy’s family are actually crazy cultists trying to convert young Mary Worth? There was an actual case not too long ago, in which a wacko Christian-cultist family tried to convince their teenage son’s girlfriend that her family was infested by demons and that Jesus wanted her to regard the cultists as her “real” family. The girl’s mom had to get a restraining order against them.
It would be pretty cool to see Mary’s hardworking-yet-loving mother fight cultists for her daughter’s affection. Too bad the real strip will be a full week of “I was at their house… and then something happened!” followed by a staggeringly dull revelation.
TheDiva
March 25th, 2008 at 12:12 pm
FOOB: Once again, Lynn Johnson has seen fit to draw inspiration from Pride and Prejudice. Last week Anthony proposed in a stilted, formal manner worthy of Mr. Collins, and today we discover that, like Mrs. Bennet, Elly’s sole occupation in life is to get her children married off.
The difference, of course, is that Jane Austen knew her characters were ridiculous. Even in the 19th century.
Darkefang
March 25th, 2008 at 12:21 pm
Of all the atrocities committed in the name of Christianity – the Spanish Inquisition, the Salem Witch trials, the massacre at Beziers, etc. – none have wrought the sheer horror of Mary Worth’s introduction to meddling.
boojum
March 25th, 2008 at 12:24 pm
Seriously. If Mary Worth is about to find God in the mashed potatoes, and then claim that her self-righteous, narrow-minded nosey-parkering has all been done in the name of Jesus, I’m going to introduce a class-action libel suit. As a Christian, I’ll share the blame for the Crusades and the Spanish Inquisition. But not by-God MARY WORTH.
boojum
March 25th, 2008 at 12:24 pm
Aaaand… Darkfange beat me to it. Still.
Patrick
March 25th, 2008 at 12:24 pm
And as we all know, no one expected the Spanish Inquisition!
Joe, Upper-Evergreen FOOB-hater
March 25th, 2008 at 12:33 pm
Other names for the Foobiverse, a.k.a. FBOFW:
1) Take It or Leave It
2) For Liz and Anthony
3) Not for John or April
4) For Treacle or Butter Tarts
5) For Worse!
6) Definitely Not for Better……
7) For Death Buns and Flabby Thighs
8) For Junk Food and Snotty Brats
9) For Pattersons, Screw the Rest
10) For Childhood Sweethearts and Nobody Else
11) It’s Payback Time, Bitches!
12) Mmmmm! Mmmmm! Mmmmmm!
13) Gulp Eat Glorp Chomp Smack
14) For Food or Stink Vapors
15) For Big Noses and Fat Butts
16) For Losers and Whimps
17) For Setting or Proposing
18) For Whores and Whore Chairs
19) For Toddler Geniuses and Preschool Dunces
20) Fuck off and die, Rod!
Mountain Mama
March 25th, 2008 at 12:39 pm
Congratulations to all COTWers. However, Violet’s was my favorite. I read it and thought, “That’s got to make the list.”
Great cartoon, KT! Can’t wait to see the rest!
jaybrrd
March 25th, 2008 at 12:44 pm
Family Circus: Oh, that’s right, you detached my head and put it back on backwards.
Curtis gets political. Stone Soup gets subliminally racist. Jaybrrd gets popcorn and watches for flying pigs.
Batman Beatles
March 25th, 2008 at 12:44 pm
“Then something happened that would change my life forever! ”
Cathy’s family gave Mary a Jack Chick Tract and invited her to a summer Bible camp.
Niall
March 25th, 2008 at 12:45 pm
…and I wouldn’t like an expecting Mary Worth.
(*passes along mental bleach*)
Someone from Texas....
March 25th, 2008 at 12:48 pm
64: Oceans 11 said “Foob: I don’t follow all of the details, but I gather from some of the comments that the women of the family get married in the same dress for several generations.”
Not really. The Patterson principle that “you must marry your first sweetheart & settle near The Family” is new with John & Elly’s generation. Both of them moved to the Toronto area for college. (From British Columbia & one of the prairie provinces, I think.) Elly dropped out quite early & went to work to support her husband in Dental School. They rarely visited “back home.” Elly’s father moved closer when his wife died, but remarried. Conveniently for his daughter–the new wife is his caregiver as his health nosedives.
A few weeks ago, Deanna found a wedding dress in the crawlspace of the house. She identified it as belonging to Elly’s late mother. Gosh–could that be a cunning & subtle hint that a family wedding might be near?
(Of course Liz is far too “healthy” to fit into a dress from long ago. Which, crammed into a damp, bug & mouse infested crawlspace, would really too far gone for anybody to wear.)
Old School Allie Cat
March 25th, 2008 at 12:57 pm
#83 – Tex (can I call you Tex?) – That dress will make its way into the wedding one way or another.
Either they’re going to remake it into a flower girl dress or a ring pillow, or maybe even fashion part of it into Liz’s wedding night lingerie.
Lynn wouldn’t have blown the time on finding the dress if it didn’t have a “very special purpose”.
Also, like you, I find it depressing that John has two perfectly healthy parents out West that rarely get a mention, let alone a visit. While we get a long loving peek into the mindnumbingly dull lives of a flower (Iris) and a vegetable (Gwamps).
Finally – over on the Coffee Talk Blarg today, it’s a good mix of “Lynn is a genius”, “Not all nice guys are boring” and “I hate the way this is going”.
Howabominable (aka Lindsey ^_^)
March 25th, 2008 at 12:59 pm
Sally Forth: WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH TED FORTH’S HEAD???? That is the most freakish thing I’ve ever seen! I can’t believe no one has noticed! Unless I’m am seriously looking at it wrong.
Tweeks_Coffee
March 25th, 2008 at 1:07 pm
#85 – Howabominable (aka Lindsey ^_^): Ted’s not there, you mean the random next to Sally?
KT
March 25th, 2008 at 1:13 pm
#23 Niall:
D’ohhhhh!!! Yes, the title page should say 2008. I’ve heard of people mistakenly writing the previous year on checks, but I never thought I’d make the same mistake… chiseled into photo-display cartoon stone…
…I can fix it! Gimme a few hours.
(grabs the cartoon putty and a cartoon chisel)
Calico
March 25th, 2008 at 1:15 pm
#75 – Please, no, not “The Mary Worth Code.”
3G -In the little mall downtown where I live, there is an art shop-not really a gallery, but more of a kiosk-type thingy-and I always snort/chuckle when I go by, because most of the “art” is so bad-and I think of Luann and her (as Josh might say) “mediocre fern paintings.”
I really don’t think even the local no-tell motels would hang this shit up.
T. Chicana
March 25th, 2008 at 1:15 pm
#85, Yeah, I don’t think that’s Ted. Mr. Deformed Head-No Neck is totally flirting with Sally, though. Ted better hurry back from getting mugged in Times Square with his fanny pack so this doesn’t progress any further. Yipes.
Foob: Well, it’s all been said so eloquently. I can’t add much, other than: I HATE THEM ALL. Oh, and is Lizard going to have to keep telling people that they’re “not rushing into it” and “taking it slow?” I picture her telling that to the priest, the cake baker, etc. etc. Seriously, Liz, give it a rest!! You made your
“wise decision,” now just shut. the. fuck. up.
Calico
March 25th, 2008 at 1:17 pm
#78 – How about “For Better or Glurge”?
Or, simply, “Smegma”?
Howabominable (aka Lindsey ^_^)
March 25th, 2008 at 1:18 pm
#86 – Oh, that’s not Ted. Ok. He had the same smirk, so I just assumed that Ted had obviously been exposed to radiation or something.
bats :[
March 25th, 2008 at 1:18 pm
2. True Fable: dang, if you really CAN tell what a girl looks like, I guess we can’t scream “gimme beads!” without showing you something…
A truly funny float this week. I’m agog by ken’s keen insight on the Hobbs/Hobbes phenomenon…
And photos, too! You know, SS-B’s photo didn’t even phase me. Mr. bats :[ (and a lot of Tucsonans) are in shorts most of the year, and I just figured this was SS-B standing in a pile of desert broom pollen (it does get that thick when it starts to drift).
gh
March 25th, 2008 at 1:26 pm
MW —
I realized that with a rich demi-glace spooned over it, long pig wasn’t half bad.
Tweeks_Coffee
March 25th, 2008 at 1:26 pm
Howabominable (aka Lindsey ^_^): Now the real question is; Are you relieved because that isn’t Ted? Or horrified because the Sally Smirk ™ is a communicable disease?
Tweeks_Coffee
March 25th, 2008 at 1:28 pm
94 – Me: Oh holy crap, I got the tiny tm to show up! I win this round, Internet!
Pepperoni Détournées (formerly Herro!)
March 25th, 2008 at 1:31 pm
#78 Joe: I vote for #13
Calico
March 25th, 2008 at 1:32 pm
#93 -HAHAHAHAHA!
Eeeeew.
gnome de blog
March 25th, 2008 at 1:33 pm
#95, Tweeks:
Would you care to share how you did that?
Tweeks_Coffee
March 25th, 2008 at 1:39 pm
#98 – gnome de blog: But then all my secrets will be revealed! Oh well, I suppose I could let it go. Just type in ( tm ) without the spaces and you’ll get it. Doesn’t seem to work for the tiny (r) or (c), sadly.
Perky Bird
March 25th, 2008 at 1:47 pm
MW — “Then something happened that would change my life forever!”
“I learned to use cutlery.”
TheDiva
March 25th, 2008 at 1:50 pm
84: Liz wearing lingere on her wedding night? Everyone knows she and Anthony will consummate their unholy union by slipping into their flannel granny pajamas and drinking hot chocolate while they talk about what good friends they are, before hugging and going off to sleep in their Hays Code-approved twin beds.
TheDiva
March 25th, 2008 at 1:51 pm
Lingerie, not lingere. Lousy French spelling.
Howabominable (aka Lindsey ^_^)
March 25th, 2008 at 1:54 pm
#94 Tweeks – I’m relieved. I’d rather see the contagious smirk on one random guy’s face than to have to see that revolting head on Ted’s body every day for the rest of the strip’s existence.
Duckman30
March 25th, 2008 at 1:59 pm
FOOB – I predict emotional blackmail ahead as Elly tries to guilt Liz into breaking down and wearing the family dress instead of something new that doesn’t reek of mouse urine and repressed emotions. Also, they’ll be fireworks at the ceremony when Grandpa Jim confronts the “sticky-fingered injun from tigawakkeey” that swiped his harmonica from “dear little Lisbeth”.
JB
March 25th, 2008 at 2:16 pm
Yes, Lizardbreath will wear the old dress from the attic at her wedding. Watch for the ghosts of Farley and Grandma in the family portrait, standing next to Notme (it’ll be a Foob/FC mashup).
Yes, Grandpa Chinnuts will rise out of his wheelchair and ask, “Who the hell is this Hobbit of a woman that keeps hanging around my house all damn day?”
Re: John…it’s wedding-planning time. He’s the father of the bride, which mean’s he’s irrelevant until the Big Day, when he’ll get his moment of glory. He’ll wake up 1/2-way down the aisle and say, “You can’t marry this guy. Dustin Hoffman’s banging on the church door, and you have a bus to catch.”
As for those of you dumping on him, he’s a dentist. You anti-dentite bastards probably think he should have gone to a separate school, don’t you?
Damn…it’s only lunchtime, and I need a drink to get all this out of my head.
bats :[
March 25th, 2008 at 2:16 pm
104. Duckman: …followed immediately when Grandpa Jim confronts the “sticky-fingered slut from my gal Elly’s place” that swiped the wedding dress from “my dear Marian.”
Iris finally shouts “I’ve had it! He’s your problem now, Elly!”, and books a one-way flight to St. Kitts. No forwarding address. April and Francie beg her to take them with her.
Little Guy
March 25th, 2008 at 2:17 pm
I bypassed Elly’s Coffee Glurg until today, but catching up, I saw a familiar name and…. Holy Crap!
Kudos to TrumanF… again!
Shoshi
March 25th, 2008 at 2:25 pm
63–Flipper, thank you! I guess it was just too subtle for me!
commodorejohn
March 25th, 2008 at 2:43 pm
#105 JB – Let’s call George Lucas and see if we can get Farley’s ghost replaced with Hayden Christiansen.
Anna Nimity
March 25th, 2008 at 3:17 pm
True flies below the FOOB radar once again! Congrats!
Whoever posted this on CoffeePlotz is surely an honorary ‘Mudge:
“Like Elly before her, Liz will spend the rest of her life keeping a dunderhead from starving to death.” -Anonymous, Southern New Brunswick
iedit
March 25th, 2008 at 3:22 pm
If you want to know what Liz’s and Anthony’s honeymoon night will be like, just substitute their names in this article:
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/39100
Perky Bird
March 25th, 2008 at 3:40 pm
#111–
That is the funniest thing I’ve ever read! And it truly is even funnier if you substitute Liz and Anthony!
OK, ‘Mudges, let’s start placing bets. How much of the wedding day will Lynn show:
A. She’ll stop with Liz and Anthony driving away.
B. She’ll show Anthony carrying Liz over the threshold of the hotel room/their house.
C. She’ll show them sitting in the hotel room, talking and gazing at each other, maybe kissing.
D. She’ll actually show them in bed, although fully clothed and not touching.
E. She’ll show them “doing it”.
(Dear Lord, please don’t let it be E!)
Poteet
March 25th, 2008 at 3:53 pm
# 111 iedit — BWAHAHA! A true classic!
# 112 Perky Bird — I’m hoping for nothing more than B, but would put my money on C. I fear D and would run screaming from E. But A (attention, Lynn) would be more than enough for me. So would a flaming meteorite wiping out the entire population of the strip. I’ve suggested that before. You could kill them all and quit now, Lynn, and head for that beach in Mexico! Don’t just dismiss the idea — think about it!
gnome de blog
March 25th, 2008 at 3:54 pm
F. She’ll show a flashback of John carrying Elly over the threshold.
commodorejohn
March 25th, 2008 at 4:07 pm
#112 Perky Bird – G. She’ll show them discussing the possibility of engaging in intercourse, probably thinking she’s daring and groundbreaking JUST LIKE CHARLES SCHULTZ I CALL HIM “SPARKY” when she has them call up Sophie for a cost/benefit analysis.
bats :[
March 25th, 2008 at 4:17 pm
114. gnome de blog: if LJ really, really wants to drive home the husband-hatin’ bit, she’ll show a modern-time John and Elly horsing around, with John attempting to carry Elly over the threshold…and promptly rupturing himself and bleeding out.
Joe, Upper-Evergreen FOOB-hater
March 25th, 2008 at 4:24 pm
111 iedit: That fits the Lizthony just perfectly!
But you know………John and Elly have only had sex twice…………April was a result of the mailman…..
Mountain Mama
March 25th, 2008 at 4:31 pm
Hate. Hate. Hate today’s FOOB.
“A wise choice”??????? Has any parent anywhere (at least in the last 40 years) said that about their child’s engagement????
How about, “They’ve loved each other for a long time,” or “I hope they’ll be very happy together,” or even “If he ever hurts her, I’ll kill him”?????
The excess question marks are due to my excess hate. Thank you.
Brick Bradford
March 25th, 2008 at 4:33 pm
Luann–Say what you will, when Brad produced the flowers in the little car bouquet (does Teleflora have those?) I thought he was totally laid.
Islamorada Girl
March 25th, 2008 at 4:39 pm
Maybe at the Lizthony melding, we’ll finally see Rod, I mean John’s long absent parents. Oh-oh.
Also, something to look forward to will be Anthony’s mother, who babysits Widdle Fwancie. I hope she turns out to be Momma Hobbes.
Remember, since these people are not Saintly Pattersons, the only person who can deal with them is Dr. Von Helsing. They will be worse than the Kelpfroths on the monster scale. People whose superpowers consist solely of making the Pattersons look even better.
Also, I predict we will cut from the happy couple driving off to their honeymoon in Niagra Falls to the death of Gwampa Chinnuts. Then we’ll pick up on them months later, all settled into Anthony’s House of Pain, when Liz starts having morning sickness. It’s the great cycle of Patterson life!
rhymes with puck
March 25th, 2008 at 4:43 pm
RMMD: The next few weeks will be awesome as Rex goes from school to school checking the gym lockers and telling the boys “I’m just here looking for a staph!”
FBOFW: That’s right, you cannot relax until all of your children have settled for soulless marriages to high school sweethearts.
FW: Les and Funky have been best friends for what, 30, 40 years? And he’s never been allowed into his office before?
MW: “I ate tuna casserole! It was so yummy!”
JP: Steve put his legs on backwards…man is that awkward.
MT: Shouldn’t we be seeing this scene from the perspective of a passing badger or something?
A3G: In today’s news, a bland american citizen was killed during a chinese crackdown on Tibet. Someone named “Margo” has sent out a press release vowing to “take those chinese bastards down”.
Kilroy
March 25th, 2008 at 4:44 pm
Mary Worth – “Then something happened that would change my life forever!” Oooh! I don’t know what happens next, but I bet it’s just like The Exorcist. Except this time, Satan wins!
Dennis the Menace – You know, if Dennis could manage the kind of menace that young Mike Patterson produced on Sunday, he’d be, oh, I don’t know…an actual menace.
Retail – I love this strip. “Tales From The Bookstore,” huh? I need to find the writer’s email. Collectively,my coworkers and I have at least six months of material for him, easy.
Violet
March 25th, 2008 at 5:04 pm
#79 Mountain Mama
What a lovely thing to say; thank you so much. And may I say I have always found your comments extremely entertaining.
On an unrelated note, in looking over today’s Pluggers, I was extremely skeptical of the notion that a Plugger would have such a flat TV. Not, mind you, so much because Pluggers are poverty-stricken, but more because they’re luddites.
LTBF
March 25th, 2008 at 11:06 pm
I actually got a chuckle from Wednesday’s Foob. Probably because what Liz said about her future brother-in-law is true.
trooper6
March 26th, 2008 at 4:43 am
::boggle::
bwuh?!
::boggle::
No way! That is pretty cool. My first time in the CotW…I feel special and important…I feel like Margo!
kostia
March 26th, 2008 at 9:38 pm
My first time too! I’m so flattered!
Nina
April 4th, 2008 at 4:37 pm
Maybe it’s just a “girl thing,” but am I the only one who is puzzled at the look of the “vintage” wedding dress in FBOFW? Grandma Marian must have gotten married in the late 1940s or early 1950s. Lately I have been going through my family archives and have been discovering a lot of wedding photos from that era. The bridal gowns look nothing like what Liz is modeling. Most of them are made of a heavy satin fabric and have high or slightly scooped necklines, long tapered sleeves, and a slim skirt ending in a very long train. Liz seems to be modeling a late 1950s or 60s design with sheer sleeves, lace bodice and full skirt. Let’s discuss amongst ourselves, fashionistas!
Girl Dress
September 29th, 2008 at 12:42 am
This is only for the blog owner I just want to thanks this guy because of it I get lots of information from it ….
thanks for the info you provided
flower girl dress lover
September 23rd, 2009 at 3:05 pm
I saw that vintage wedding dress and was also puzzled. Too bad we couldn’t see some of the flower girl dresses or bridesmaids dresses either.