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Now what the strip needs is more human sacrifice

Hagar the Horrible, 10/7/12

At last, a definitive answer to the question I’ve been musing on for years: Are Hagar and his entourage Christians or pagans? Hagar, at least, appears to still worship the gods of the old Norse pantheon, as is perhaps befitting for the bloodthirsty leader of a violent war band. Given the lack of intra-Norse civil strife and the friendly relations between Hagar and Brother Olaf, we’ll just have to assume that the action of the strip takes place during one of the more peaceful lulls in Norway’s transition to Christianity, which generally involved one side gaining dominance and attempting to violently suppress the other. Indeed, today’s strip shows how hearts and minds can be changed without use of force, as Hagar begins to question his allegiance to deities that were explicitly believed by their worshippers to not be all-powerful or all-knowing.

Herb and Jamaal, 10/7/12

So I read this strip and thought “Haha, at last, I get to see the moment when Herb and Jamaal goes completely nuts,” but then … it turns out this quote is in fact floating all over the Internet as attributed to Desmond Tutu? There’s never any explanation of the context in which he said it, though, which sets my “let’s attach a quote we like to a random famous person” alarm bells going off. Still, the good Archbishop is a cyclist, so who knows! Anyone who can confirm or deny this quote gets a shiny Internet quarter.

Edited to clarify: The “give a man a fish…” phrase is as old as the hills and clearly not originated by Tutu. I’m specifically wondering if he was the one who turned it into a joke about bicycling.

149 responses to “Now what the strip needs is more human sacrifice”

  1. Liam
    October 7th, 2012 at 2:03 pm [Reply]

    RMMD-Rex likes getting blasted in the face but not like this.

    Blondie-Dagwood’s dream turned into a nightmare when his dream boss showed up and started beating Dagwood’s dreamself.

  2. Rumpert Goldfish
    October 7th, 2012 at 2:06 pm [Reply]

    It is a good thing that the characters in H&J survived the squid attack in panel six.

  3. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 7th, 2012 at 2:10 pm [Reply]

    yesterday’s dinner was a prime example why I love having my internets back at home. had dinner ideas percolating in my brain, and kept hitting google during commercials. Found this, and was all AHAH!

    darn tasty, too!

    sorry for the foody digression. perhaps consider it a Blondie reference???

  4. dyslexic dog
    October 7th, 2012 at 2:11 pm [Reply]

    If you cant trust mikeywally, who can you trust?

  5. Clint Brawny
    October 7th, 2012 at 2:11 pm [Reply]

    Never seen ‘Herb and Jamaal’ in color before.

  6. The Ghost of Jarrod
    October 7th, 2012 at 2:13 pm [Reply]

    H&J – “You can trust any quote you find on the internet.” –Abraham Lincoln

  7. Ed Dravecky
    October 7th, 2012 at 2:14 pm [Reply]

    I see the Tutu quote cited in a number of places but, quite tellingly, not at Wikiquote and the only Google Books hits are a couple of cycling books that quote the line without sourcing. I’m calling shenanigans.

  8. Honey Badger, Does not give a shit
    October 7th, 2012 at 2:15 pm [Reply]

    MW: Dawn is like a monkey. She won’t let go of one branch until she thinks she has a grip on another.

  9. Justin
    October 7th, 2012 at 2:16 pm [Reply] seems to think the origin of the quote is Chinese, and it does tend to have that “Confucius say” ring to it.

  10. Clint Brawny
    October 7th, 2012 at 2:16 pm [Reply]

    Here’s a short video of Tutu saying: “And then, I often accompanied my father. I really liked riding with him on his bicycle on Saturdays. He was very fond of fishing. I don’t think I liked fishing. I mean, you had to sit quietly and still, but I enjoyed the ride.”

  11. dyslexic dog
    October 7th, 2012 at 2:16 pm [Reply]

    @dyslexic dog (#4):
    And I’ll donate my quarter to the Unused Apostrophe Fund.

  12. AmandaTheGreat
    October 7th, 2012 at 2:16 pm [Reply]

  13. Josh
    October 7th, 2012 at 2:24 pm [Reply]

    @AmandaTheGreat (#12): Well, but it’s the bicycling part I’m interested in. Obviously Tutu wasn’t the one who came up with the “teach a man to fish” aphorism. But was he the one who used the aphorism as the basis for a joke about how fishing is boring and bicycling is fun?


  14. Holly Folly
    October 7th, 2012 at 2:25 pm [Reply]

    You know Hagar, that tortoise would not appear to be running away from you at top speed, nor would the clouds be moving as fast as the wind, if you would just stop doing all those downers.

  15. SurrealKangaroo
    October 7th, 2012 at 2:27 pm [Reply]

    @Clint Brawny (#5):
    I was about to say the same thing myself.

  16. Leifr
    October 7th, 2012 at 2:27 pm [Reply]

    Josh, I have a copy of a very old Hagar the Horrible strip in which he explains Ragnarok to his son Hamlet. I also have another old strip, which probably was published around the Christmas season which shows Hagar receiving a cross pendant from a monk with the accompanying explanation that the cross’s similar shape to Thor’s hammer helped spread Christianity.

  17. Leifr
    October 7th, 2012 at 2:30 pm [Reply]

    In the early 70s I had a book called Jest in Pun, written and illustrated by Bill Keene. Almost all of today’s puns and illustrations are taken directly from this book.

  18. cartooncritic2544
    October 7th, 2012 at 2:31 pm [Reply]

    I, for one, am still reeling from the fact that “Herb and Jamaal” referred to him by name as “Desmond Tutu,” and not simply as “the South African Bishop who opposed apartheid…”

  19. Thunderheels
    October 7th, 2012 at 2:31 pm [Reply]

    The quote is not accurately translated. The quote is:
    “Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach a man to fish and you have to get up a 6 every morning to take him fishing AND buy the beer;”
    Glad to clear that up.

  20. This Guy
    October 7th, 2012 at 2:32 pm [Reply]

    I can’t picture Desmond Tutu using the phrase “stupid and boring.” Besides, the go-to guy for declaring cycling to be the best activity ever devised by the mind of man is Frazz.

    Whoever said it, though, Bentley used six panels to quote it. He must really hate writing.

  21. pastordan, snark late shift
    October 7th, 2012 at 2:33 pm [Reply]

    Comics snarking, how I wish I could quite you. Also, how I wish I could be better at you.


    The Amazing Spider-Man: Either MJ is strung out on heroin, or something disgusting is happening off-frame.

    Apt. 3-G: I’ve started adding a mental Bow-chick-a-wow soundtrack to this, ahem, “strip” in the past couple of weeks. But what’s really worth noting here is how Evan is totally dressing Margo in a vibrant paisley ensemble with his eyes.

    Judge Parker: Oh, my. That bearded hippie will never work in Hollywood again.

    Luann: There is no way Greg Evans is cool enough to name-check The Stooges, is there? And yet, if that’s not a Stooges reference on Knute’s shirt, what is it?

    Mary Worth: “Maybe I can help Jim!” “Dave moved on. It’s time I did, too.” Translation.

    Rex Morgan, M.D.: It’s like Honey is dripping with…okay, no. I can’t go there. Not while Rex has his hat on backwards.

    Ziggy: a fairly accurate depiction of entering Wyoming from Colorado.

    Not-snark: Bill Griffith should do Pinheads more often.

  22. pepperjackcandy
    October 7th, 2012 at 2:41 pm [Reply]

    I highly doubt that Bishop Tutu (or any humanitarian) would advocate any activity (even bicycling) over helping the hungry get food. In fact, the more bicycling you do, the more food you would need.

    So my vote goes for this being a Bentley creation.

  23. Oregonian
    October 7th, 2012 at 2:42 pm [Reply]

    I don’t follow Gil Thorp – not braggin’, just sayin’ – so I had some trouble with yesterday’s strip. I spent more than a day wondering why the football player’s jersey says “FDR.” (“Was the school built by the Works Progress Administration? Are these the fighting New Dealers???”)

    Two questions remain: What is the striped phallic object in the lower middle of the second panel? And when someone leads the crowd in a chant at a football game, shouldn’t the chant, you know, rhyme?

  24. lorne
    October 7th, 2012 at 2:43 pm [Reply]

    @Josh (#13): If you’re actually THINKING about something you read in “Herb and Jamaal”, you’re probably doing something wrong.

  25. Droopy Says
    October 7th, 2012 at 2:46 pm [Reply]

    I thought the saying was “Take Rusty fishing, and tomorrow he’ll want to go fishing again. Feed him to the fishes, though, and his fillings will give them mercury poisoning.”

  26. Comcis Fan
    October 7th, 2012 at 2:49 pm [Reply]

    Hagar questioned Odin and received a response from Adonai. Perhaps Norway’s transition to Christianity involved a little-known stop at Judaism, or perhaps Odin wasn’t a Norse god at all but a Norse nickname for God.

  27. Stev0
    October 7th, 2012 at 2:55 pm [Reply]

    Now that you mention it, I agree. Herb and Jamaal COULD use more human sacrifice.

  28. pastordan, snark late shift
    October 7th, 2012 at 2:57 pm [Reply]

    I’d never thought about wrapping a noose around Hagar’s neck and tossing him in a peat bog as a way of getting him off the comics page, but whatever works.

  29. BigTed
    October 7th, 2012 at 2:58 pm [Reply]

    It was the Australian activist Irina Dunn who first said “A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle.” I don’t know what that has to do with Desmond Tutu, but I’m guessing it’s as much as anything else in this strip.

  30. Santa Royale With Cheese
    October 7th, 2012 at 3:00 pm [Reply]

    H&J: Fishing is not boring. Why, did you know that some chap in England caught a huge carp after only 12 hours of waiting? My heart is pounding just thinking about it.

    Hag: I’m admittedly not knee-deep in Norse mythology, but isn’t Odin somewhere else, like Asgard or whatever? The “voice in the cloud” metaphor makes me think that Browne Inc isn’t knee-deep in Norse mythology either… but they’re knee-deep in something.

    S-M: Can we just cut to the chase and skip whatever was supposed to happen next?

  31. BigTed
    October 7th, 2012 at 3:04 pm [Reply]

    “Just take a number and get in line!” Proof that not only is the deity Jewish, but He runs a deli counter.

  32. Mysterion
    October 7th, 2012 at 3:08 pm [Reply]

    Normally, Odin, known for his fabled Odin-sleep, would be more sympathetic about Hagar’s frustrations with the fast pace of modern life. Then Thor met Spider-Man. So, please forgive the Allfather if he just doesn’t care anymore.

  33. Peanut Gallery
    October 7th, 2012 at 3:13 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#126):

    MW: Another bogus quote!

    Along with today’s Herb & Jamaal, we’ve got the first two entries for Throw in a couple hundred Mark Twains and it’s ready to go.

  34. Rusty
    October 7th, 2012 at 3:14 pm [Reply]

    @pastordan, snark late shift (#21): Did the Stooges have a logo that looked similar to that on any LPs? I would peg Evans as more of a NY Dolls fan, if that’s what he’s after. A teen wearing throwback t-shirts for 60s-70s bands is bizarre anyway, although I have seen a resurgence of Led Zep shirts on the young.

  35. MrGuy
    October 7th, 2012 at 3:22 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#33): Don’t forget some Oscar Wildes while you’re at it.

  36. Clint Brawny
    October 7th, 2012 at 3:23 pm [Reply]

    Do Herb and Jamaal have enough peas on that plate? Looks like enough to choke a horse.

  37. Editer
    October 7th, 2012 at 3:32 pm [Reply]

    “… teach a man to fish and you won’t see him all weekend.”

  38. Baka Gaijin
    October 7th, 2012 at 3:34 pm [Reply]

    Yeah Marvin, keep deluding yourself. Your parents are hoping the next baby will help them atone for the horrible, horrible mistake you are.

    Pluggers are so cheap they’re not letting one single empty calorie go to waste even if it means risking dermal injuries. And if this Plugger lives in Westview, Ohio, said dermal injury would become infected with a flesh-eating cancer.

  39. Sequitur
    October 7th, 2012 at 3:36 pm [Reply]

    I think Desmond Tutu said, “Teach a man to fast and he won’t need a fish.”

    Or was that Gandhi? I get the two confused.

    Speaking of confused, Rhymes With Orange. I don’t get it. I guess I’m not up on my Poohology.

  40. Santa Royale With Cheese
    October 7th, 2012 at 3:38 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#39): There’s only one Tigger. Two Tiggers ruins the mobile.

  41. Sf_reader
    October 7th, 2012 at 3:45 pm [Reply]

    I’m sure it was Mary Worth who came up with, “Give a man a fish…”, bicycle and all. In addition to her clever adages, she’s also as old as the hills.

  42. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 7th, 2012 at 3:50 pm [Reply]

  43. bbofun
    October 7th, 2012 at 3:51 pm [Reply]

    ASM- Hey, look, kids! Next week we start a story-line with an ACTUAL Spider-man villain! Of course, he is, possibly the LAMEST of his villains (his “super-power is- he’s a REALLY GOOD HUNTER!)but still, it’s something! (Yeah, sure…)
    (Note to fellow comic-book geeks- I’m aware that Kraven actually had a couple of pretty decent (and dark) story-lines in the comics, and that he’s been given some actual super-powers over the years- but YOU KNOW this isn’t going to be the good version of the character. It’s newspaper Spidey, after all.)

    A3G- What’s the deal with Evan’s thought-balloon in the last panel? Why not just put “everything” completely under the rest of his thought, instead of slightly beneath, leaving all that white space in the thought-balloon? It almost makes it look like that single thought is surrounded by vast areas of nothingness in his brain- oh, I get it. Never mind.

    FW- Y’know, for all the “Cancer Cancer cancer” snark we throw at it, the word hasn’t actually appeared in this strip, as far as I recall, for quite a while. In fact, if you had just started reading this strip in the past year or so, you might not even know that Lisa died from cancer. In fact, the whole “Lisa Legacy Run” thing would have no real context, if not for the pink ribbons seen on the banner today.

    What I’m saying is, you probably haven’t inspired anyone to get checked out, Les/Batiuk, except those people who’ve been reading you for years. So stop congratulating yourself, you smug bastard.

    (Was that harsh?)

    JP- In ANY other strip (hell, in any other storyline in this strip) I’d be worried for Avery. The way this one’s going, hillbilly Jacob Marley there isn’t getting one step closer to Avery- probably stopped by Bubba, or a trained skunk, or something. Or his chain will just fall apart.

    MW- There’s no chance this is the end of the “Dawn” arc, is there? Pool party, please? Pretty please?

  44. This Guy
    October 7th, 2012 at 3:55 pm [Reply]

    Pluggers… have never heard of spooons.

    // Also, what the fuck is he even doing? It looks like he’s licking the lid while holding the carton. Moreover, it isn’t drawn as the kind of carton that could possibly give you a paper cut.

    Shoe: “See? Summer is a thing, therefore global warming is a lie.”

    // Humans!?

    R==R: “Peepaw” is not a name fit for a human being. It should be a slang term for an incontinent dog.

    Ziggy: If Herb and Jamaal were in charge of road signage…

  45. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    October 7th, 2012 at 3:55 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#y126): Mary has a never-ending supply of bogus quotes. I’m guessing she got an edition of Roger’s Thesaurus just before those were all pulled from the stands following an outbreak of Aphoritis that threatened to turn into full-scale Plaguitudes right out of the Meddle Ages. Rumor is that if you contemplate those pages too long, your body goes completely busy.

    Josh – “Give a fish a bicycle and it will unman a woman for a day.”

    @MrGuy (#35): And W.C. Fields.

    @Sequitur (#39): The important thing to remember is that it has nothing to do with Winnie the Pooh. It’s a Disney the Pooh reference.

  46. This Guy
    October 7th, 2012 at 3:57 pm [Reply]

    “A man needs a bicycle like a fish needs teaching.”

  47. vince
    October 7th, 2012 at 3:57 pm [Reply]

    I always preferred “If you build a man a campfire, he’s warm for a day, but set a man on fire and he’s warm for the rest of his life”.

  48. Sequitur
    October 7th, 2012 at 4:00 pm [Reply]

    Wait. Maybe it’s fish on a bicycle. Okay, I’m ready for a Guinness.

    @Santa Royale With Cheese (#40): And three Tiggers is a menage a trois?

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#42): Somehow I missed that movie (deprived childhood). Thanks, queek. However, I still don’t want that bouncy freak on my lawn.

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#45): Yeah. As a child I had read the A.A. Milne book but never got into the Disney version.

  49. seismic-2
    October 7th, 2012 at 4:03 pm [Reply]

    H&J: Teach a man to write and draw cartoons, and he will come up with something better than this.

    Hagar: I hear you, man. Everything is so fast-paced these days. For proof, you need look no further than at all the break-neck activity on the page you occupy – Spiderman, Mary Worth, Judge Parker, Rex Morgan, A3G. Why, some of those strips have even moved forward in time by two whole days since their most recent story arc started, back in April!

    Bizarro: I took me almost a minute to figure this one out. I’m a technological idiot.

  50. Seth Snarkadder
    October 7th, 2012 at 4:04 pm [Reply]

    MW – “I hope to travel more in the future.”

    Travel in the future… okay, my guess is Dawn will major in theoretical physics and explore time travel. Or maybe just the occult arts. Mary will be so proud.

    A3G – LuAnn said Greg was a real head-turner, but I didn’t realize she meant that he would keep swiveling his own head. And why are he and Evan stooped over? Don’t they have normal regulation-level ceilings in those fancy New York skyscrapers?

  51. Lenoxus
    October 7th, 2012 at 4:12 pm [Reply]

    Regardless of whether Bishop Tutu actually said it, the fact that the quote is apparently all over the Internet indicates that one of two things must be true: 1. Herb and Jamaal is capable of influencing numerous online sources, or 2. today’s strip is entirely based on a ripped-off joke. Hmm…

  52. Northern lurker
    October 7th, 2012 at 4:17 pm [Reply]

    RMMD: starring Kate Upton as Honey (and I’m not gonna look for a pic of Upton in a wet t-shirt.

  53. Seth Snarkadder
    October 7th, 2012 at 4:18 pm [Reply]

    BG&SS – No one gives a caning like Granny. She puts the holler in Hootin’ Holler.

    Apartment 3H – When we last saw Greg, Professor Papasnorus was trolling for a roommate. I see a spin-off in the making: Apartment 3H (for 3 Hellenes). Ari and Greg, and soon Evan, too. Evan’s not Greek, but he can be an “honorary Greek” or as they like to say, “Greek passive.” He’ll fit right in. Or vice versa.

  54. Jkl
    October 7th, 2012 at 4:30 pm [Reply]

    For all the talk on here about the homosexuality of Beetle and Sarge in the past I’m surprised no one has commented on how Mort Walker has confirmed it, for Beetle at least, today. He has turned Beetle into a “rent boy”, at least that is one explanation for Mort having tattooed “For Rent” on Beetle’s bare behind in the last panel of today’s strip.

  55. Notebooked
    October 7th, 2012 at 4:40 pm [Reply]

    “A fish needs a woman like a bicycle needs a man.” That’s the slogan for my new romantic novel, you guys. Its working title is Ride Me, but I’m thinking of changing it to Changing GearUnchained? I’m at a bit of a loss. But I’m really proud about the subplot, the romance between Sandra Wilkins, 35-year-old career woman (so set on being her role as a principal that she’s forgotten to teach herself to love) and a haddock.

  56. Notebooked
    October 7th, 2012 at 4:41 pm [Reply]

    An unwanted being slipped into that post. I guess that happens when you leave Area 51 unlocked.

  57. Neyba Bob
    October 7th, 2012 at 4:44 pm [Reply]

    Yeah but Josh, he probably said it. Maybe in a game of Trivial Pursuit when he was reading out a clue, or just today while reading the CC. “Hey, this guy says I said … well I just did, just now! Ha ha ha!” He just wasn’t the first to say it.

  58. Neyba Bob
    October 7th, 2012 at 4:51 pm [Reply]

    SFx: Slylock Fox will arrest the raccoon because it’s water-tight: he has a confession and a witness statement. He will also do the bear for obstruction and perjury. He’s not going to waste police time on silly mind games.

  59. Braniff
    October 7th, 2012 at 4:58 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#49): FC: Teach a cartoonist to find a gullible audience which will fall for the same old cornball and–you’ve sustained that cartoon franchise along with its successors for decades!

  60. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 7th, 2012 at 5:07 pm [Reply]

    @Northern lurker (#52): raises hand to volunteer.

    (less than sfw, but y’all probably knew that already.)

  61. billman
    October 7th, 2012 at 5:25 pm [Reply]

    @Jkl (#54):

    Good catch, but I, for one, noticed vaguely that it seemed to be a nude Beetle Bailey and for sanity’s sake just glanced and moved on, nothing to see here.

  62. NoahSnark
    October 7th, 2012 at 5:52 pm [Reply]

    Sometimes I think every Herb and Jamaal punchline is based on the belief that no one is paying any attention to the strip.

  63. Horace Broon
    October 7th, 2012 at 5:56 pm [Reply]

    ASM: Hooray, it’s a Peter-gets-pissy-because-MJ’s-famous moment! And next, Kraven the Hunter, who I seem to remember was the first Spidey villain Josh ever mocked? (Kraven’s awesome in the comicbook, but all newspaper Spidey villains are lame and stupid, to fit Grant Morrison’s observation that the a good rogues gallery matches the hero in some way.)

    DT: Hey, this week’s Interesting Fact About The Police was something I knew! Thank you, Terry Pratchett! (“For years Vimes had thought he was a copper because he carried a copper badge, but no, said Carrot, it was from the old wordcapere, to capture.”)

    FC: I have trouble believing in a seven year old coming up with the Fowl Line “gag”. Although not as much as I do with a seven year old having ever heard of “Let It Be”.

    FW: “Ah, there’s nothing like the warm, satisfying glow of basking in your own smu… er, I mean, of helping people.”

    Pluggers: You’re a Plugger if looking for a spoon would cut into your shovelling-ice-cream-down-your-maw time.

  64. lynn
    October 7th, 2012 at 5:59 pm [Reply]

    @Notebooked (#55): Not tonight, dear. I have a haddock.

  65. seismic-2
    October 7th, 2012 at 6:01 pm [Reply]

    @Horace Broon (#63): DT: Not buying it. I say “cop” is an acronym for Constable on Patrol, just because it sounds so much like an apppealing urban myth that it ought to be true even though it isn’t, and that’s that.

  66. laila
    October 7th, 2012 at 6:02 pm [Reply]

    @Jkl (#54): On the subject of which, Darkgate’s continuing issues had me discovering that there’s such a thing as The first thing I saw when I visited the site? Not the aforementioned ‘space for rent’ but… well, I’ll leave the masthead here.

    ‘Nuff said, really.

  67. pastordan, snark late shift
    October 7th, 2012 at 6:09 pm [Reply]

    @Rusty (#34): Led Zepplin is a weird one. The young ‘uns seem to embrace them both ironically and un-ironically, which leads to testicular torsion, among other things.

  68. Jamus The Bartender
    October 7th, 2012 at 6:18 pm [Reply]

    “….and it came to pass that at the Last Avengers’ supper, Thor broke bread, said, “Take and eat”, then he said Iron Man would deny him three times before the cock crows. Then Iron Man took off his mask, mugged for the camera, and said something like, ” You lost me at cock, big fella…” “

  69. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    October 7th, 2012 at 6:22 pm [Reply]

    @Jkl (#54): So leg “up” and “for rent” on his ass? I guess that’s pretty clear—although I’m still confused about Beetle’s anatomy here. I mean, both legs seem to be on one side of his belly button, as if they’ve migrated, flounder-eye-like, to one side. Honestly, when I first looked at that drawing, I thought the joke was supposed to be that he’d been rendered cubist-style.

    And now I’ve spent 7 minutes pondering Beetle Bailey’s pelvic area. More Vicodin, mule!

  70. Elk Meadow
    October 7th, 2012 at 6:32 pm [Reply]

    @bbofun (#43):

    Was that harsh?

    Not harsh enough.

  71. Downpuppy
    October 7th, 2012 at 6:39 pm [Reply]

  72. This Guy
    October 7th, 2012 at 6:57 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#65): Acronym-based derivations are NEVER true. Fuck, shit, posh, golf–not a one comes from an acronym. In 11th grade, my English teacher (using the term very loosely) told us the one about “fuck.” And this woman was supposed to be TEACHING us ENGLISH. CORRECTLY. Unbe-fucking-lievable. (That’s called a tmesis, by the way. I doubt the old bitch even knew that.)

  73. Artist formerly known as Ben
    October 7th, 2012 at 7:05 pm [Reply]

    BC: Egads, they’ve awakened the fearsome sabre-toothed groundhog.

    C-Shaft: Being nasty and dumb are easy enough for the layperson to diagnose, Crankshaft.

    SFx: If these guys have all been advised to act out Enlightenment era logic puzzles in order to beat the rap, the town’s public defender is really falling down on the job.

    S-M: Your estimation of your own thunder-stealing abilities is cute. Really it is. Okay, not so much.

    Blondie: Blondie has found the sleep button. Best of luck to her on someday finding the sex button.

    Phantom: To friend and foe alike, he’s what you talk about when you run out of things to talk about.

    GA: It seemed impossible for Gasoline Alley to find a joke older than itself, and yet it plucked one from the mists of prehistory.

    BB: The incensed Mort Walker puts a “For Rent” sign on Beetle’s bare ass, which is perhaps slightly more blatant than usual.

    RMMD: Please dial down the blonde a notch, Honey.

    Marvin: Joke’s on you, Marvin. You’ve already made them so miserable they don’t really want the first kid.

    Lockhorns: Leroy fell asleep in the tunnel of love before Loretta could come. That’s the only way I can read that panel.

    9CL: This may be the first time ever that Juliette and I were on the same page. I pray that the words “Thorax” and “commando” never appear in the same sentence again.

  74. Artist formerly known as Ben
    October 7th, 2012 at 7:08 pm [Reply]

    By the way, Josh, do you mean Hagar needs more human sacrifice? Or Herb & Jamaal? Honestly I’m good either way.

  75. Sgt. Stoned
    October 7th, 2012 at 7:24 pm [Reply]

    H & J: “Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and by the time he gets good enough at it to feed himself, he will have starved to death.”

    MW: While Dawn drones on and on about finding herself with the old biddy, Dave is busy fucking out the brains of his new blonde girlfriend. Dumping Dawn was the smart move, Dave.

  76. Nehemiah Scudder
    October 7th, 2012 at 7:46 pm [Reply]

    @Josh (#13): I’ll see your quarter and raise you another, if anyone can prove that Gandhi said, “The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others,” as alleged in today’s Mary Worth.

    Of course, most Mary Worth Sunday quotes are misattributed, bogus, and bland.

    See my yesterthread comment (#126).

  77. Nehemiah Scudder
    October 7th, 2012 at 7:58 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#65): It may not be posh to say so, but fornication under consent of the king it, I’m pretty sure that pretty much all pre-WWII acronymic etymologies are completely fubar.

  78. seismic-2
    October 7th, 2012 at 8:36 pm [Reply]

    “Teach a man to fish, and..” OK, just stop right there. Just how dumb does someone have to be, to need to learn how to fish?

  79. Liam
    October 7th, 2012 at 8:49 pm [Reply]

    A3G-”Are you kidding, Margo? I would love to. The only thing that I’m doing tonight is rubbing my aunt’s neck in a totally nonsexual way.”

    MW-Dawn, you can’t help people. You’re Wilbur Weston’s daughter. The last time he gave advice the person killed themselves.

    Crankshaft-”I would rather know what is physically wrong with you. Psychologically would take years.”

    Curtis-Jackie Chan is better by virtue of not being dead.

  80. Liam
    October 7th, 2012 at 9:06 pm [Reply]

    “Teach a man to fish and you’ll find yourself in a hackney quote.”

  81. seismic-2
    October 7th, 2012 at 9:32 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#77): You mean everything I’ve ever thought I knew is in fact wrong? Well, for unlawful carnal knowledge!

  82. 555 95472
    October 7th, 2012 at 9:38 pm [Reply]

    @This Guy (#72): Ahem.


    That is all.

  83. 555 95472
    October 7th, 2012 at 9:44 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#74): Or does Josh mean that the Hagar or Herb & Jamaal staff should be subject to human sacrifice?

    As before, it’s probably good either way.

  84. Peanut Gallery
    October 7th, 2012 at 9:57 pm [Reply]

    @Downpuppy (#71), @This Guy (#72): Wow, I learned two awesome new words in a row! Now all I have to do is work them into conversation. “That nunkini is far-freakin’-out, if you’ll pardon my tmesis.”

  85. tallyHO
    October 7th, 2012 at 10:01 pm [Reply]

    @This Guy (#72):

    Some of the best words are about words.

    Speaking of which. I meant to share this some time ago:
    Go here, QUICKLY!* scoll down until you see this “Best Word Ever- The Final Brackets”. You’ll see brackets before then. But, that is the best place to start.
    Then follow the progress by scrolling upward.

    I am not down with them all. I think some are cheapened in some ways. Of course, that’s just my opinion. I mean, if “nougat” and “yokel” made it then why didn’t “yodel”? Yodel makes your mouth do something I once knew how to easily describe, linguistically. Since is also about sound it is another point in the word’s favor to include it over nougat or yokel. They only got in based on the first syllable’s vowels, you know it’s true.

    *QUICKLY! because you don’t want to see the winner first. You want to see all of words that were selected first.


  86. Poteet
    October 7th, 2012 at 10:05 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#3): Belated thanks for the froggies!

  87. Nehemiah Scudder
    October 7th, 2012 at 10:07 pm [Reply]

    @555 95472 (#82): But This Guy (#72) is completely right about anything before the 20thC.

    The military added a whole bunch around WW2 and after that are perfectly valid. You noted LASER. Also, RADAR, SONAR, WAVE, WAC, and my fave, mentioned above, FUBAR.

  88. tallyHO
    October 7th, 2012 at 10:09 pm [Reply]

    Some of the comments above made me curious enough to bother reading “Beetle Bailey”.

    I wonder what that was about.
    Was Mort Walker * picking a bone?
    Was he just being self-deprecating?
    Metafictional ** for the sake of a gag?

    Maybe I should make a (minor) mission to try and establish a communications pipeline with him to get explanations for the comics they run. Nah. It’ll ruin it and even as a mission…how lame would that process of trying to establish a reparte with a guy who has probably been on working vacation during most of my lifetime?

    He did get a jab in on the bankers by insinuating they made a lot more money by being corrupt but now, not-so-much. But, the payoff gag…hmmm.

    *(and the tag I see credits him alone. it doesn’t include his son’s name)
    **(not Just “Meta”!!!!)

  89. Nehemiah Scudder
    October 7th, 2012 at 10:11 pm [Reply]

    Teach a man to feed fish, and he can get a job at an aquarium.

  90. tallyHO
    October 7th, 2012 at 10:12 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#87):

    I may be able to add to this and top all of y’all!


  91. Poteet
    October 7th, 2012 at 10:14 pm [Reply]

    HAGAR — Asking questions of Odin. Huh. After seeing the Ring cycle, I’d be strongly inclined to just hope that Odin would ignore me. The people to whom he paid attention didn’t do so well.

  92. Poteet
    October 7th, 2012 at 10:17 pm [Reply]

    @Notebooked (#55): Make that a walleye and I’d read it.

  93. seismic-2
    October 7th, 2012 at 10:23 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#89): Running a credit-card scam on the Internet, of course.

  94. commodorejohn
    October 7th, 2012 at 10:24 pm [Reply]

    Speaking of old-as-the-hills: “Give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and he’ll expose his trouser trout to young men have a romantic candle-’n-wine dinner with a prospective business partner keep worms in the refrigerator.”

  95. tallyHO
    October 7th, 2012 at 10:35 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#94):

    Well, my grandpa papa tol’ me that
    “You never poke a gift fish in the mouth.”
    Apparently back then they had to resist the urge and it got so bad that they had to pay flappers to even come close to doing that.

    //now i should draw a dancing fish wearing a flapper dress. oh dee ote doh!

    I just wonder if it would be politically correct or oll korrekt to do so.

  96. tallyHO
    October 7th, 2012 at 10:39 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#95):

    ah crap. try to be too clever and cleave your nose off…

    “grandpa papa”. that probably reads like hillfolk-ese for somethin’ mighty taboo happened somewhere down the lineage.

    i meant to make a stumbling word. “grandpapaw” might have worked better.

  97. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    October 7th, 2012 at 10:46 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#85): That’s a nice collection of words there; I especially approve of “lollygag,” since it reminds me of my lollygagging (and Lolly-named) pup.

    But where’s “Adirondack”? And “discombobulate”? Those words are like a party in your mouth!

  98. Poteet
    October 7th, 2012 at 10:48 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#73): I had no idea what “going commando” meant, and this strip was a truly ghastly way to find out. A bucket of brain bleach was not enough.

  99. kingklash
    October 7th, 2012 at 11:04 pm [Reply]

    “Build a man a fire, and he’ll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he’ll be warm the rest of his life.”

  100. Poteet
    October 7th, 2012 at 11:20 pm [Reply]

    PV — A big flagon of ale says she’s whispering to her second-in-command, “Get rid of Goofus and Gallant over there. Just cut them loose and send them back to Camelot. They’re useless twits and we’ve got a lot of work to do, no distractions needed.”

  101. Nehemiah Scudder
    October 7th, 2012 at 11:36 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#98): You needn’t feel bad about your ignorance. I think the phrase “going commando” is of relatively recent vintage. Urban Dictionary oldest definition is from 2002, FWIW, but it only hit my radar a year or so ago. I think this meme is what they call “trending”.


  102. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    October 7th, 2012 at 11:38 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#101): Isn’t it from an episode of Friends? That’s where I remember first encountering it.

  103. Nehemiah Scudder
    October 7th, 2012 at 11:45 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#102): Could be. Very plausible.

    // I had already ruled out “Sesame Street” and “Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom”.

  104. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    October 7th, 2012 at 11:47 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#48): I watched enough of Disney the Pooh to see that they had sold out the original only slightly less than they would later sell out Victor Hugo in THE HUNCHBACK OF HAPPYTOWN. In the scene where Eeyore comes floating along in the water, as a particularly telling instance, the original has Rabbit say “Eeyore, what are you doing?” and Eeyore says “I’ll give you three guesses. Digging holes in the ground. Wrong. Jumping from limb to limb of a young oak tree. Wrong. Floating on my back in the water waiting for someone to pull me out. Right. Good old Rabbit. Give him time, and he’ll always get the right answer.” A superbly bit of passive-aggressive sarcasm. Well, in the movie, they divide this response up among the other characters, like they’re actually guessing. GOOD FUCKING GOD, TALK ABOUT MISSING THE ENTIRE POINT. And it’s all like that. You could take up a collection among the entire creative staff and not get enough milliclues to add up to one clue.

  105. Poteet
    October 8th, 2012 at 12:07 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#101): You are most kind. I’m used to not knowing new slang, and it’s kind of fun to look it up, except when looking it up forces me to picture Thorax…arrrrgh, I need more bleach!

  106. Poteet
    October 8th, 2012 at 12:14 am [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#104): Amen to that. And don’t get me started on what Disney did to THE JUNGLE BOOK. I didn’t like what Disney did to MARY POPPINS, either. Of course I rarely like what happens to children’s books when they get turned into movies or TV, period. I didn’t even like what happened to ANNE OF GREEN GABLES in the Megan Follows version. I’m a crab.

  107. Poteet
    October 8th, 2012 at 12:18 am [Reply]

    CRANKSHAFT — By the time a deer herd has reached the point where deer are debarking trees in back yards close to houses, most people who are paying any attention at all are aware there’s a deer problem and know that young trees need deer guards to survive. So I call bullshit on this strip. Yet again.

  108. Poteet
    October 8th, 2012 at 12:20 am [Reply]

    FW — AAAAAAAND with a single hideous strip, Batiuk is back in the running for Worst Comic-Strip Wedding Ever. Look to your laurels, Lynn and Brooke!

  109. Poteet
    October 8th, 2012 at 12:26 am [Reply]

    MT — Yep, it’ll take a fishing trip to wipe the memories of those Cherry-cooties from what passes for Mark’s mind. She insisted on having his arm around her for forty-five minutes of the twenty-four hours he was home, and that was enough to make a fishing trip necessary. Immediately!

  110. Poteet
    October 8th, 2012 at 12:30 am [Reply]

    MW — If I make it through six more weeks of looking at Dawn’s hair, I’m going to demand a slot in “I’m Alive.”

  111. Droopy Says
    October 8th, 2012 at 12:31 am [Reply]

    Spiderbland: So Peter Parker would rather die than risk exposing his secret identity . . . a secret that would be revealed at the autopsy, accompanied by a coroner’s verdict of “death by amazing stupidity.”

    Creepy Les: So back when Dead Fucking Lisa was merely Dying Fucking Lisa, she devoted her remaining time and energy to making videotapes for all occasions. Les, even a moron like you should know better than to take life advice from someone who had no life.

    Family Circus: Billy, if you were a Plugger you’d still use your back yard as a bathroom.

    Jugs Parker: Can I take a week of false excitement over Avery’s non-fate? Sure, if it involves Sam Parker being forced to walk somewhere, get dirty, and talk to people who don’t like him.

    Gasoline Alley: Damn you, Scancarelli, this is no time to start a new non-story! I wanted to see Slim humiliate himself before everyone in town! You owe that to your readers the way Slim owes everyone a ride in his promised car!

    Pluggers: Pluggers learn to use bookmarks, and generally develop some internet skills, around the time their youngest grandchild becomes old enough to say “I can’t come over and help you tonight. I have a date.”

  112. Poteet
    October 8th, 2012 at 12:33 am [Reply]

    RMMD — WOW. This is being done for our benefit, right? And I have no complaints.

  113. Poteet
    October 8th, 2012 at 12:35 am [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#111): I’ll bet there’s a Dead Lisa tape labeled “Masturbation.”

  114. Poteet
    October 8th, 2012 at 12:37 am [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#111): So THAT’S how Pluggers manage. They all have kids. Damn. My cats are no help at all.

  115. Droopy Says
    October 8th, 2012 at 12:46 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#87): TARFU and SNAFU came out of WW II as well. Two acronyms that came out of the Great War were Spad (originally Society Pour Aviation Deperdussin) and ASDIC (Anti-Submarine Detection Investigation Committee). You might argue that Jenny (the JN-4 trainer) was another acronym turned into a word.

  116. Droopy Says
    October 8th, 2012 at 12:48 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#113): And I’ll bet that tape gets passed around to several other cartoonists.

  117. seismic-2
    October 8th, 2012 at 12:50 am [Reply]

    Crank: “Smoking dung.” And there, friends, we have the secret for how Batiuk creates all his comics.

  118. Raghead The Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist
    October 8th, 2012 at 2:29 am [Reply]

    Hagar also redefines biology. Has anyone ever seen a tortoise in Norway outside of a zoo? Could they survive the cold? Herpetology, tell me, tell me truly.

  119. Nehemiah Scudder
    October 8th, 2012 at 2:29 am [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#115): How could I have remembered FUBAR, and have forgotten SNAFU? My little grey cells are TARFU.

    // Didga know there’s a place in Canada called Lake Tarfu? I think Frank Lee Meidere works there now.

  120. Raghead The Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist
    October 8th, 2012 at 2:34 am [Reply]

    @kingklash (#99): That’s hot!

  121. Calico
    October 8th, 2012 at 2:40 am [Reply]

    Why do all then men in A3G look like Quasimodo?

  122. Dale
    October 8th, 2012 at 2:55 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#119):

    SNAFU has totally lost its meaning. Any time I hear it, someone is trying to justify what they hope is a one-time event.
    “Engine fell off our plane? Just a SNAFU.”

  123. tallyHO
    October 8th, 2012 at 3:49 am [Reply]

    @Dale (#122): Yeah. People do use it to mean ‘a glitch’ or to refer to a ‘fly in the ointment’. The word is very watered down in either of those.

  124. tallyHO
    October 8th, 2012 at 4:09 am [Reply]

    a3g: easy like a Monday morning?

    Spider-Man: instinct is hard when you are thinking about it?

    Sniffy Smurf: ka Ching! economy strips on Sat. and on Mon,? Is Hootin’ Holler
    a metaphor for abject poverty?

    Dagwood: it is Columbus Day, ain’t it? Dagwood should’ve claimed it as a paid holiday for himself.

    The Family Circi? no.2, Billy? At least you are civilized.

    maryworth: Security Camera is working. Dawn is vouching for Mary continuing to impersonate the fictional person Wilbur impersonates. A downshot in panel one. Thank goo’ness no low necklines are involved. This ain’t Judge Parker.

  125. beltsander
    October 8th, 2012 at 4:15 am [Reply]

    @bbofun (#43):

    Not harsh at all. Les becomes so smug by that last panel, he physically inflates along with his ego, dwarfing his own daughter sitting next to him on the bench.

  126. tallyHO
    October 8th, 2012 at 4:25 am [Reply]

    dick tracy: you lost me, comic strip.

    six chix: and then I took a right turn here when I should have taken a left.

    pluggers: if you say so, Wilford Doggly. Do you have Quaker Oats as your homepage?

    popeye: I just can’t quit you. Waitasecond. I just read today’s strip. I think I can. I think I can.

    9 to 5: I always ignored this because I thought it was serialization of the movie.
    Where’s Dabney Coleman as the boss? Oh that’s right. These days he plays Mr. Dithers in “Blondie”.

    mark trail: just when I get my fix of Mark in the strip, I get sidetracked by the look of longing on Andy Dog’s face. Geez, you and Doc get a room already!
    This sordid love affair is distracting from the non-love affair Mark has with/out his wife which is par for the course because unless Mark and Cherry just got some nookie in the meadow* we are now witnessing Mark planning another Great Escape (i.e., a fishing trip with Rusty which he will cancel because his Fists of Justice can’t handle gripping poles because they were meant to smash mustached faces.).

    * Nookie in the Meadow. That’s the title of my upcoming book of poems. I’ll give you a sample of one of the poems:

    Nookie in the Meadow.

    Seems sparse, yes. But, I figure I can protect my copyright that way.

  127. Dale
    October 8th, 2012 at 4:27 am [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#123):

    Considering that SNAFU means, “situation normal, all fucked up”, I’d say it’s more than watered down. It’s an absolute contradiction of what’s meant by the speaker.

    Those public denials are usually accompanied by:
    It didn’t happen.
    We have a task force working to make sure it doesn’t happen again.
    Most of those problems have already been corrected.
    We don’t know of anyone who was harmed.

  128. tallyHO
    October 8th, 2012 at 4:45 am [Reply]

    funkywinkerbean: should we be under the impression there is a video tape which tells less to put the toilet seat down, too?

    Animal Crackers: (Oh yeah. I’m going there) I wanted to make a quip playing of a fictional strip called “Cannibal Crackers” but then I read today’s strip. Now I’m confused. I can accept that the lioness is wearing a mini-skirt and has a bow on her head. Yet, the fact that she’s a brunette with a sporty hairdo freaks me out? Who did she kill to get that wig? I’m thinking it was one a friend of Judy Jetson. But, that quip goes too far…into the FUTURE!

    Marmaduke: huh? well I know it exists by I don’t see a link for it….so, I guess some metro areas have comic strip readers who don’t wish to read about Cerebus’ country cousin. I can appreciate that.

    Hi and Lois: the unseen fourth panel: Hi says, when we drink from these it means we are considering a divorce. Are you happy now, Chip? Are ya?!?

    Moose and Molly: My bleary eyes made me briefly excited. Oh, to read a comic strip version of Mork and Mindy! Lo and behold, it is two panels from what appears to be two separate strips cut and pasted together. You can imagine my confusion. Or, you can join in the fun and see for yourselves!

    On the bright side, Weber Sr included that omni-present mouse from the Slylock series. Some day he should convert that into a dada-esque homage strip to Krazy Kat. Have fun, Mr Weber. Shake up the status quo of comics art! Make it so!

  129. tallyHO
    October 8th, 2012 at 4:47 am [Reply]

    @Dale (#127):
    Hmm. Those scenarios do sound familiar. Come to think of it, I almost certain I’ve heard the phrase “minor SNAFU” before. It is too late to search for it though.

  130. tallyHO
    October 8th, 2012 at 5:02 am [Reply]

    Awesome! It is a bonus Slylock Fox! This one comes with readable type!

    So, Slylock, and presumably Maxwell Yellowfuzz Mouse the Third, bum rush the house of a Gorilla Biker Gang.

    (looks at strip for a second time)

    Okay. Slylock Fox bum rushes the house of a Gorilla Gang to save Maxwell Mouse whose been mouse-napped! The police seem to be pursuing Slylock but with only two quick glances, I can’t figure out the crime Slylock committed.

    (looks at strip for third time)

    Oh wait! Maybe Slylock is weak and he desperately needs a piece of cake to give him self a sugar kick. But, that doesn’t explain why Papa Gorilla and Mama Gorilla look like they want Slylock to eat the cake because it is poisoned. (actually, a family of gorillas, sitting at a dinner table, who bottle feed their Baby doesn’t make much sense either.) And Baby Gorilla is doing what? Squirting Milk or Acid in young Maxwell’s mouse face?

    (now to read the puzzle, which likely revolves around the letter in the housecoat or the spill and has nothing to do with Maxwell being tortured, willingly?)


    I want to guess the answer is that Gorilla’s can’t drive cars, unlike monkeys who can ride tiny bicycles. (cuz monkeys just swing like that)

    (final answer)

    Oh yeah. Sure, there’s that. But, how the hell was anyone supposed to know that was his mom? I thought she was just a kindly, cake-making matron of Casa de Gorilla.

  131. Droopy Says
    October 8th, 2012 at 6:30 am [Reply]

    @Dale (#127): “Mistakes were made.” Apparently by spontaneous generation, rather than by some human being who made a wrong decision.

  132. Owen
    October 8th, 2012 at 6:43 am [Reply]

    Wait, hold the phone… HERB AND JAMAAL HAS A SUNDAY PAGE?

  133. gleeb
    October 8th, 2012 at 6:50 am [Reply]

    ‘bean: People have joked about this, but I’m a little shocked Batiuk actually went there.

    H&L: Remember, teach your children to be secretive drinkers.

    Rex: June will go mad. First no fried clams, and now “Ginger” has black hair.

  134. Droopy Says
    October 8th, 2012 at 7:07 am [Reply]

    Spider-bland: Somebody has to say it: “On Long Island, house hunts you!” There. A tired old cliche for a tired old strip. And it’s not as funny as the cliche of Peter Parker brutally shoving his wife to the ground: “I don’t have to be faster than him, MJ, just faster than you!”

  135. White Rabbit
    October 8th, 2012 at 7:19 am [Reply]

    @Thunderheels (#19): A more authentic translation is: Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and he lays around in a boat and drinks beer all day.

  136. Peanut Gallery
    October 8th, 2012 at 7:31 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#101), @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#102): Wikipedia has a print citation from 1985, and says the phrase was used in an episode of Friends in 1996.

  137. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    October 8th, 2012 at 7:34 am [Reply]

    @beltsander (#125):

    I don’t think that is his daughter – didn’t he just drop her off at college? I think that is the Ghost of Dead Fucking Lisa sitting next to him.

  138. Gerry
    October 8th, 2012 at 10:03 am [Reply]

    They didn’t come for MJ’s play. They came for Clown 9!

  139. Shrug, Speaker to Spam
    October 8th, 2012 at 11:43 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#y126):

    “MW: Another bogus quote! “The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.” Attributed to Gandhi, but I’ll bet a lakh of chocolate internet rupees that he never said it. …”

    It’s not in Quote Investigator either:

    But I find this version

    “To lose yourself in the service of others may be to truly find yourself.”

    on page 43 of this 1897 book:

    Protestantism : a study in the direction of religious truth and Christian unity / Edward P. Usher.
    Main Author: Usher, Edward P. 1851-1923.
    Language(s): English
    Published: Boston : Lee and Shepard Publishers, 1897.

    which can be viewed at Hathi Trust:

  140. Shrug, Speaker to Spam
    October 8th, 2012 at 12:36 pm [Reply]

    @This Guy (#46):

    ““A man needs a bicycle like a fish needs teaching.” ”

    Language fish HATE this bicycle…

  141. greghousesgf
    October 8th, 2012 at 1:00 pm [Reply]

    @Rusty (#34): I know a lot of classic rock loving teens, actually.

  142. parcheesi
    October 8th, 2012 at 2:21 pm [Reply]

    So that voice from the clouds in Hagar, is that like Odin or Jesus or what?

  143. Shrug, Speaker to Spam
    October 8th, 2012 at 4:01 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#91):

    On the other hand, I think a lot of us would be willing to be Siegfried, tragedy and all, just for the sheer pleasure of knowing that we had killed a Mime.

  144. Shrug, Speaker to Spam
    October 8th, 2012 at 5:45 pm [Reply]

    Hello? Are there any other Curmudgeons out there this afternoon?

    // sound of crickets

  145. Morgan Wick
    October 8th, 2012 at 6:16 pm [Reply]

    Wait, do people really credit a Nobel laureate, one of the most important figures in the advancement of civil rights this side of MLK, with using a pre-existing aphorism to joke about bicycling? I almost want to check to make sure at least some of those sources pre-date this comic.

  146. Runar
    October 9th, 2012 at 4:00 pm [Reply]

    Build a man a fire and you keep him warm for a night; set a man on fire and you keep him warm for the rest of his life.

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