Metapost: ADORABLE BABY PICTURES! (Plus comments of the week)
Got a pretty adorable pic from faithful reader Frank Parsnip, featuring the 9-month-old Parsnip twins, Emma and Anthony, resplendent in their Comics Curmudgeon wear:
The Parsnip clan was on a trip to Korea when this pic was taken, which means that the sight of Jungle Patrol and Fist O’ Justice themed paraphernalia was probably even more baffling to passersby than usual. Remember, it’s easy for me to put logos on baby and toddler clothes, so email me if you’d like to make sure that 20 years from now your kids find their baby pictures completely inscrutable.
Speaking of Fists O’ Justice, a faithful reader sent me a link to their new blog: The Fists Of Justice League! Basically, it features Mark Trail and other comic characters punching people. Check it out!
Oh yeah, and it’s Monday! That means it’s COTW time:
“It strikes me as admirably in character that Cathy has an untidily assembled sack of ‘Tax Stuff.’ Undoubtedly she has a whole closet full of shopping bags variously labeled ‘Diet Brownie Recipes,’ ‘Oprah Transcripts,’ and ‘Rejected Bad Hair Day Joke Submissions to Reader’s Digest.’ (Oh, Cathy! We know you’re having a bad hair LIFE!!!) The largest of these, ‘Suicide Notes,’ is actually the most organized, broken down as it is into subcategories such as ‘Irving’s Fault,’ ‘Irving’s Parents’ Fault,’ ‘Swimsuit Manufacturers’ Fault,’ and a simple ‘Ack!!’ in an assortment of fonts.” –Violet
And to give appreciation to our runners up!
“Um, does Milford High HAVE geeks? I’ve seen brutes, jocks, and ne’er-do-wells, but geeks?” –Dick Tracy Broke into My Oddball Sanctuary
“This new Mary Worth storyline has so much potential — potential for DEATH!” –Mrs. Buck Tuddrussell
“We finally get a look at one of Alan’s paintings: a monochromatic cityscape. Well, I guess they say ‘paint what you know,’ and if there’s one thing Alan knows, it’s the view out the window of his studio. That, and shooting smack.” –The Spectacular Spider-Brick
“You cannot make both art and money. Alan is still on drugs.” –doug rogers
“That’s right Lu Ann, go make that tea, men are talking. Your flighty blonde femininity would only dilute the raw masculinity that now permeates this room, neckerchiefs and polo shirts aside.” –Mr. Lemon
“I would like to make a guest appearance in [Funky Winkerbean] as a smiling killer. I’d like to see all the petty and smug expressions replaced with looks of abject horror as they realize they’re going to die … JUST … LIKE … LISA, but much faster. Of course, this story arc would appear only on the weekends so we could enjoy the main characters’ demise in four colors.” –trey le parc
“I like how the new [Gil Thorp] artist has quickly picked up on how the characters’ facial features tend to slide in random directions from panel to panel. Poor Mimi in panel two looks like a manufacturing mishap at an inflatable sex doll factory.” –Trilobite
“Ah, springtime. When a young man’s fancy turns to baseball, and vaguely homoerotic terminology for baseball.” –gkl
“It’s a good thing ‘the Mooch Man’ is content with singlehood, because anyone who goes around calling himself ‘the Mooch Man’ has no hope of ever marrying. Or dating. Or having pity sex.” –TheDiva
“I see Mary has learned post-Aldomania that her meddle-to-murder turnover was taking just too damn long the old way, so now she’s hassling people already on their deathbeds.” –Hawkeye
“It looks as if Swiss Guy has his eyes closed, which may account for his bad marksmanship. I’m not much of a shooter, myself, but keeping one’s eyes open seems key. Contrast that with the zombie-like stares of the ladies. They won’t miss, I assure you.” –nancois
“My point is, I think if I were a masked superhero protecting my secret identity’s wife from a villain, I wouldn’t call her by her nickname in front of him and then stuff money in his mouth. I’d say something like ‘STAND BACK MA’AM’ and then … use … my … powers … you know, this scenario just doesn’t fit Spider-Man at all. Never mind.” –kostia
We must also give a big thanks to everyone who put a bit of scratch in my tip jar this week! And, of course, we give big thanks to our advertisers:
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PeteMoss
April 14th, 2008 at 4:29 pm
Excellent work, ye snarker so bile! Please continue with the funny!!!
PeteMoss
April 14th, 2008 at 4:30 pm
And finalist, remember to throw some beads my way as the parade passes. I promise to do my part.
PeteMoss
April 14th, 2008 at 4:31 pm
Plese don’t let me be third. pleasedon’tletmebethird.
True Fable
April 14th, 2008 at 4:32 pm
Those are indeed some adorable babies! I’m sure you are one proud ‘Mudgeon, Frank!
And congratulations to the float riders, good job all! I shall have to console myself with admiring goat pictures for not making the cut, but the snark was so good this week I never stood a chance anyway.
PeteMoss
April 14th, 2008 at 4:32 pm
Saturn!
PeteMoss
April 14th, 2008 at 4:33 pm
The babies are cute and all, but where are the thought balloons? What are they thinking when they look this way?
Galuaboy
April 14th, 2008 at 4:37 pm
Good article in today’s Kansas City Star on Pastis and PBS. Talking about his 10 year old son: “He’s reading ‘FoxTrot,’ which makes me glad because that’s a smart, funny strip,” Pastis says. “But he’s still reading ‘Garfield,’ too. That makes me sad.”
http://www.kansascity.com/238/story/572076.html
FOOBed again
April 14th, 2008 at 4:45 pm
Awww, cute babies! Also congratulations to Violet and the runner-ups!
Oddball TurkeypantiesDick Tracy Broke into My Oddball Sanctuary
April 14th, 2008 at 4:47 pm
Oh, wow, runner-up. Thanks, Josh! Congrats, everyone else!
rhymes with puck
April 14th, 2008 at 5:00 pm
RMMD: Sure, it may seem that Rex is showing his lovely bride how committed he is to her with his comment about Peter. But when he says that Peter is ‘remarkably stupid’ he’s referring to Peter’s desire to have sex with any woman. Oh, well played, Rex, well played indeed.
FBOFW: So does this mean that when my daughter has grown up and moved out I’m going to walk around self-righteously congratulating myself for a job well done? If so, I’ll just shoot myself now.
Dick Tracy Broke into My Oddball Sanctuary
April 14th, 2008 at 5:01 pm
DAMNIT.
Oh, and freakishly adorable little Parsnips. I agree that I’d like to know what they are thinking.
Gern Blandston
April 14th, 2008 at 5:23 pm
Slylock Fox: Ducks Don’t have teeth. . .but they Do have necklaces!
Lisa
April 14th, 2008 at 5:33 pm
(The babies are cute and all, but where are the thought balloons? What are they thinking when they look this way?)
(Oh, and freakishly adorable little Parsnips. I agree that I’d like to know what they are thinking.)
Little Girl: Man, I gotta get stuck in the the JUNGLE?? That sucks!
Little Boy: Heh, heh, fist of justice… just wait till they see my projectile vomiting move….. they’ll be sorry!!
:o) Cute, cute babies!
bats :[
April 14th, 2008 at 5:38 pm
Cute kids! Anthony has a Pugsley Addams sort of charm (and I mean that in the most complimentary way!). A coupla good lookin’ tubers, and that’s a fact.
True Fable (yesterthread): A bushel and a peck, and a hug around the neck!
John C Fremont
April 14th, 2008 at 5:41 pm
Cool! Adorable babies AND the funny shtuff. (That was Uli Kunkel, not Mooch.) Congrats to all, especially Violet. I missed that one the first time. You made my bad day turn out worthwhile… kind of like Mary Tyler Moore does!
# 140 (Bats :[ two threads back) – David Lynch was there in person?! And I wasn’t?! Oh, man, I have got to get out of this red state!
“We’ve got chicken tonight. Strangest damn things. They’re man made. Little damn things. Smaller than my fist. But they’re new!”
ar_d
April 14th, 2008 at 5:46 pm
Congrats everyone! And I love the picture of the 2 Curmudgeons-in-training! :)
TheDiva
April 14th, 2008 at 5:47 pm
Wow, they were right, it is an honor just to be nominated.
Josh–thanks! Violet et al.–congrats! Frank–cute kids!
Zaq
April 14th, 2008 at 6:04 pm
I posted this a couple threads ago, but since it’s still Monday, in the afternoon no less, I think this is still valid, so I’m reposting it here:
Let’s brainstorm here, fellow ‘Mudges. What could have saved today’s FOOB? Let’s say that we have the first four panels, with all the goddamn self-congratulation and horn-blowing, and then we rewrite panel five. Let’s keep the bloodshed to a minimum (not that I don’t WANT it, just that it’s too easy), and keep it to something that could reasonably be depicted in a single panel, but other than that, anything goes. Someone calling Elly on her bullshit? A rare moment of humility? Slapstick humor taking her down a peg or two? Something more creative? Let’s hear it!
Pepperoni Détournées (formerly Herro!)
April 14th, 2008 at 6:05 pm
Congrats to the float-riders! Also, I second PeteMoss: those babies need thought balloons, and fast!
Loopina, Summer Intern of the Jungle Patrol
April 14th, 2008 at 6:07 pm
#18: Zaq, can we redo the entire strip the same way, but do them as anthropormorphic animals? That makes anything better; it even makes Pluggers tolerable.
bats :[
April 14th, 2008 at 6:24 pm
LTBF wrapped up all the annoying feelings I had for the latest foob-de-rol in a nice, succinct package. Thanks!
http://www.flickr.com/photos/9545446@N07/2414139015/sizes/o/
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
April 14th, 2008 at 6:32 pm
Yay! After a long, long drought, I’m back on the float! I’ll be sure to throw lots of candy to Frank Parsnip’s two little ‘Mudgettes, ’cause they’re just so sweet!
KH
April 14th, 2008 at 6:34 pm
#21 bats. Wow. Someday in your golden years, when you feel the need to be self-congratulatory, you can remember this little bit of perfect graphic-snark.
Shermy Glamrocker
April 14th, 2008 at 7:37 pm
Ummm, Elly, don’t you still have another child that you’re not done rearing?
Or did Apwil go roadside … and stay there?
Alfred E. Neuman
April 14th, 2008 at 8:17 pm
JP– Now we know why Abbey can’t figure out what Biff and Elvira are up to. She’s been watching Snuffy Smith all along!
Violet
April 14th, 2008 at 8:36 pm
Thank you so much, Josh and kindly congratulators and well-wishers (in the unforgettable words of Moe Szyslak: “I’m a well-wisher, in that I don’t wish you any specific harm.”) The timing of this honor could hardly be better in that my birthday is coming up later this week and this provides me that last-minute sense of accomplishment so welcome around birthday-time.
Buck Ripsnort
April 14th, 2008 at 8:50 pm
Cute babies and funny mudges, Bah!
All I can see is that my two-week streak on the float, she has ended.
And I don’t understand Tank McNamera today.
Big Sims
April 14th, 2008 at 9:42 pm
Them some cute Parsnips!
Godzooky
April 14th, 2008 at 10:24 pm
Congrats to the float-riders; cute mini-’Mudges.
By the way, here’s the story behind the late Jim Mooney’s contribution to Sunday’s Funky Winkerbean.
Interesting that the strips are done that far in advance and that, in addition to having ghost artists (I think John Byrne usually does the Sundays), Batiuk is also using ghost writers (Tony Isabella).
Frank Parsnip
April 14th, 2008 at 11:05 pm
Congratulations to the float-riding COTWeekers!
Thanks for the kind comments on the babies!
Emma was particularly fit for the Jungle Patrol because between the two she’s the one who is the fastest to know what she likes or doesn’t like — in food, activities, storybooks… and so I can totally see her in the future having a “take this job and shove it” moment and heading off to try out the Jungle Patrol.
Anthony’s quick hands got him the Right Fist O’ Justice shirt — there’s pretty much nothing in our house he can’t grab, lift or push with those little hands. In particular he likes lifting himself into a standing position by grabbing onto my leg and chest hair, thus indicating the dipilatory skills for which Mark Trail is rightly famous.
As to what they’re thinking, here’s my guess:
Emma: shocked mouth-agape silence from seeing what passed for a Funky Winkerbean on that day
Anthony: laughing at the size of Lizzie Patterfoob’s ass because he assumes it means she needs her diaper changed
Dick Tracy Broke into My Oddball Sanctuary
April 14th, 2008 at 11:19 pm
Zaq – Yeah, my thought was something along the lines of “And humble. Damn, were we ever humble.”
It is funny, though – I know my mother loves all us kids a lot, and she’s been a great mom, but I don’t think she enjoyed our childhoods as much as she has our adulthoods. My mum’s next door neighbor, though, is one of those women who LOVES being a mom. She’s preggers with her fourth child and the first one isn’t 5 years old yet. It’s interesting, because my mom will ask her “How can do DO all that?” and she says “Oh, I LOVE it! Didn’t you just LOVE being pregnant? Kids are so much fun!” and my mother can only resume drinking in response.
While I was just typing that, I got to thinking – how would you guys feel if Dennis the Menace’s life actually changed? Like, what if the strip’s author decided that his parents were going to have another kid (possibly in hopes that this would drive Dennis out of the home). This strip has been untouched and utterly the same for… how many years?
Poteet
April 14th, 2008 at 11:20 pm
Congratulations to Violet and you other funny float-riders! *tosses flowers* And yeah, those Parsnip babies definitely have what I refer to in my cats as “raging cuteness.”
mumbles
April 14th, 2008 at 11:52 pm
I love all you COTWs and especially love the ironic juxtaposition of super-cute babies next to our hate, snark, frustration and filth!
bats :[
April 14th, 2008 at 11:54 pm
Toosday toons:
A3G: Margo — waddawhore! I love it!
JP: well, no Jungle Patrol for you, Miss Buttinsky! (And I’m still cheesed at you for poking around the Dickens’ place…maybe Elvira gave you one of their DISEASED chickens…how about that?)
MW: eh. I liked Dean Booth’s imagineering better…
RMMD: a picket line?!? Well, I guess if a significant number of people have staph germs in their noses, that makes a certain amount of scents. Har.
I also like equating MRSA with incompetence. The high school kids likely got it in the gym/locker room. Maybe if folks taught their kids that that’s what showers are for, and no one really enjoys inhaling eau de rankque adolescent, things might be different.
Anyway…
http://www.flickr.com/photos/9545446@N07/2415664410/sizes/o/
FOOB: so true, Connie! In your day, wasn’t it “once you got the milk, you don’t care what happens to the cow”?
Diamond Joe
April 15th, 2008 at 12:05 am
#31: DTBiMOS
I’d be delighted to see someone shake up some of these zombie strips. If nothing else, a little old-fashioned jealousy might bring back out some of the Menace in Dennis, via acting-out behaviors.
Poteet
April 15th, 2008 at 12:42 am
4/15 — MW — Yeesh! Apparently Richard and Ron have been beating each other with ugly sticks while they argue.
RMMD — Yay, unfocused hostility! Next I look forward to a demonstration with signs that say “Down With Death!” and “We Demand Life Eternal!”
MT — Would some studio artist get a clue and please, please use the right color on the breasts of those robins? Partly-albino robins are interesting for one day, but after that, they’re just creepy.
PLUGGERS — I may post this panel on my fridge as a diet aid.
True Fable
April 15th, 2008 at 12:48 am
Ah, springtime with a blast of late winter chill! Time to warm up the coffee and do a little snarkin’!
A3G Margo the Advantageous strikes again!
BF This is the last time I bother with this strip. Not only is it a Foob wannabe, it’s a LOUSY Foob wannabe and not just BECAUSE it’s a Foob wannabe, and that adds up to a lot of shit for nothing.
Cathy (Must Die!) All that wording, when all he had to do was wave something shiny in front of her.
Curtis Why aren’t they asking, “Where’d you get the money to buy all this stuff, Curtis?” For all they know he could be mugging people or accessing their online bank account.
FBoFW “the frustrating thing”? Frustrating for who, Elly? Geez, there’s hope (however slim) that Liz will wise up and find someone else, don’t rush her! And as for you, Connie – eat shit and die. In YOUR day, the invitations were carved in stone and delivered by B.C., Peter and Crusty Carp.
FW So it’s true: facial expressions are inherited. Some kids inherited their parents’ smirks, but Son of Funky inherited his asshole father’s bitchmode.
(WTF)GT Tiny head, just as I suspected.
JP I told you to bring the horse, Abbey. Now you’re going to be caught and tied up in the barn for a week or two until Sam comes home and wonders why you aren’t sitting around half-dressed trying to turn him on. Unsuccessfully of course.
But wait, that could be a GOOD thing! Abbey tied up, bad guys threatening her, she’s got to be saved – why, this sounds like a job for … SUPER CEDRIC!!! *applauds*
Luann Well, maybe Luann WOULD have a relationship with your brother if you weren’t such a BITCH about it, Bernice.
MT GIGANTIC BIRDS ARE EVERYWHERE! AND THEY ARE SEWING UP MY FRONT DOOR!!
MW Oooh, Mary’s got that bitchslap look on her face! Power UP, girl!
RMMD Okay, ginchy comment about bacteria growing in nostrils aside – what is going on with Rex’s hair in panel two? He’s NEVER had hair in that sector of his forehead before! I mean he could RENT OUT his forehead for ad space; what’s with the rug?
S-M Awww. The cable must be out.
TB Tabby
April 15th, 2008 at 12:54 am
RMMD: Thanks, Rex. Now I and everyone else will spend the rest of our days squirting Lysol up our noses.
Lisa
April 15th, 2008 at 12:59 am
31- DTM has been unchanged since 1951, when it first started…. wanna do the time warp?
Frank Parsnip
April 15th, 2008 at 1:15 am
A3G: I am so hoping that Margo has set up a 1-900 psychic line by which Lu Ann and Gabriela will put callers in touch with their departed loved ones.
MT: “What do you say, Princess? Can you lure a little puppy in using your in-heat smell? Why, in human years that puppy’s gotta be at least 14 months old…”
Funky Pantysniffer: I accidentally clicked on the link for today’s comic, and the strip is still full of complete assholes. Batiuk is trying to make a statement that in the future, all people will look, talk and think like assholes.
MW: Wow, Mary’s got to deal with Pug-Ugly and Plug-Ugly.
JP: BLEEP! BLEEP! BLEEP! Abbey’s been betrayed by the automatic swear-word deletion system, which has malfunctioned slightly when it anticipated her about to say the marijuana brownie she ate was some “real good shit.” The swear-word deletion system then immediately anticipated the next two cusses coming out from her once the first BLEEP sounded off.
Sex Organ, M.D.: HA! Pitchforks and torches ready to come up for Dr. Rex-n-furter, who has obviously plucked his eyebrows for his upcoming appearance at the meeting in lingerie.
Mallard Fillmore: More false arguments from the duck. Panel 1 mentions “Average Americans”. Panel 2 laments the possibility that an undefined strawmanish “some people” still think an undefined “we” don’t pay enough taxes. My guess is that his Panel 2 “we” is some sort of caviar-eater’s club that Bruce Tinsley is allowed to visit.
DtM: Gina was apparently just bragging to Dennis about how good her tax accountant is. Some comic-strip characters plan ahead for retirement, while others live on the edge. TDIET’s little Hekkie? Drives a Porsche-branded golf cart on the grounds of his retirement community. Watterson’s Calvin? Has to hawk stickers showing himself urinating on, alternately, the Chevy and Ford logos.
Owing to the irregular work situation for many of Berke Breathed’s Bloom County characters, large numbers of them are subsisting on government cheese.
Phantom: He’s already prepared a written after-action report? Where does he stick the printer?
My Cage: Awwwwwwwwwww… now I don’t even have to read “Love Is” today for my usual mid-afternoon sugar rush.
GT: Gil is going to tear down all the stereotypes this week. Armando Vargas? Hey, even people with vaguely Latino names can live legally in America. Branden Zollar? Some girls’ softball players are at least bisexual. I can’t wait to see Johnny Chang, the incredibly safe pizza delivery driver, as well as Tom Johnson, the white man who can dance.
Pluggers: I am so glad that it’s reminder cards instead of condoms.
Mibbitmaker
April 15th, 2008 at 1:42 am
Right-Wingers-Grumbling Day:
S-M: Well, it can’t be that JJJ is somehow dead, that would be good news. Though I’d like to see Tripple-J take poison in his bunker.
RMMD: What’s this? A seemingly blatant alegory for protest of the Iraq war? Rex Morgan must be doing a more conservative version of Non Sequitur, while NS continues being pretty good (so far). Also, the germs up the peoples’ noses? This is the perfect time NOT to have up-the-nose close-ups in the strip!!!
MW: I laughed the minute I saw Ricky & Ron in the strip. I’ve narrowed down who their father is to either George C. Scott or Walter Mondale.
MT: BEHOLD! — the MegaSuperWorm!! It has the uncanny ability to speak villianous exposition even while being routed and devoured by hungry birds! You won’t believe your eyes!
We have an inside person in “Luann”!
GF: It’s time to play the funny pages’ fastest growing subversion game: BEAT THE CENSORS!
FOOB: Of course it’s not being discussed! It was barely discussed WHEN HE ACTUALLY PROPOSED! We’re not sure there even was a proposal, frankly.
BBailey: Yeah, Lt. Fuzz is a big screw-up, too.
Archie: That sign is a left-over from 1971! Back when I bought the comic books, and they were good (esp. the Harry Lucey ones).
A3G: Now, when it comes to cynical exploitation, it’s suddenly like mother, like daughter.
Frank Parsnip
April 15th, 2008 at 2:24 am
Note re: Lisa (39) and self (40): Wow. The phrase “do the time warp” showing up within one post of a reference to “Dr. Rex-n-furter” in lingerie … the world works in strange ways sometimes.
mollificent
April 15th, 2008 at 2:25 am
JP: Oh my God! The M-word! They actually *uttered* the M word!
Luann: Wow, Bernice = SuperBitch today!
MW: And now for the Worthian Smackdown. My first request, Mary? Burn that raspberry mock turtleneck, or whatever the hell it is. That just ain’t right.
MC: Awwww, warm fuzzies. :) Plus I love his little tailfin-spa-ottoman thingy. I gotta get me one of those.
Arglebargle
April 15th, 2008 at 2:54 am
Bernice in Luann and Ted in Sally Forth: Oooooh, stop it! You’re such a perfect b***h!
Get Fuzzy: Holy crap, I can’t believe Darbs got away with that line.
Non Sequitur: I know it won’t happen…but if it did, it would be the most awesomest comic-strip event ever.
RMMD: Oh, that’s fine, Rex. You got ‘em on the ropes; now tell them they cling to guns and religion because they’re bitter.
PBS: Beautiful. *sniffle* Simply beautiful.
ChattyGenes
April 15th, 2008 at 4:42 am
Congratulations to COTW’ers!
To #36 Poteet.
“MT — Would some studio artist get a clue and please, please use the right color on the breasts of those robins? Partly-albino robins are interesting for one day, but after that, they’re just creepy.”
Now, really! Were Homer’s baby ducks EVER changed from powder-blue to yellow? And didn’t the transgendered mother-father duck remain transgendered until the end of the story? You’re asking WAAAYYY too much of the colorists here.
TO FRANK PARSNIP: You’ve got some really cute kids! (*sniff*…makes me miss mine!)
#37 True Fable. Re Judge Parker. “A week or two??” I’m betting at least a month. (Hey, that just might give Cedric time to get over from France to complete your scenario.)
And to anyone interested: Why am I snarking when I still have so much schoolwork to do? Because it’s SUPPERTIME! And I don’t want to get food on my schoolwork. And to celebrate the fact that our monthly meeting was only three hours. (ONLY? Sheesh.)
Diamond Joe
April 15th, 2008 at 5:25 am
BB: The thing about laboriously explaining a joke is that it doesn’t actually make the joke funny to someone who wouldn’t have gotten it, and it kills it for those who would. I mean, assuming the joke was funny in the first place.
‘Shaft: This joke can be found on page 82 of “Every Cartoonist’s Big Book of Desperation Punchlines,” Browne and Walker, 4th ed.
Flaccid Dick Tracy: “SWAT team? Lt. Teevo here– I have info on Mr. Lector. I’ve been recording it every week since September, but no one’s bothered to watch it.”
DieS: So Superman’s power of flight is supported by the government, TIAA-CREF, the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation, and well-off liberals?
FC: He’s dumb as a post, but he’s got extraordinary fine motor coordination for a boy his age.
Foob: Of course, in your day, you had sex in shag-carpeted vans while listening to the Strawberry Alarm Clock and inhaling vast clouds of marijuana, so I wouldn’t get too superior.
Heathledger: Close-captioned for the extraordinarily stupid.
JP: No, no! Abbey gets the butt shot, not Elvira! Start over!
Lola: For a moment there, I thought the second panel said “The ‘Styx’ tattoo he got in his mouth.” Perhaps I need the counseling.
MW: Meanwhile, in the hall, Harlan Ellison and Pat Buchanan have words.
Momma: Awful cheerful, isn’t she? What do they call it when you want to kill your husband and marry your son, a Jocasta complex?
PMP: “And I did I mention it’s coming soon?”
Pluggers: They could save a lot of lettering time by just having a stamp that says “Pluggers are poor, and will die soon.”
PC: Ah, that’s what they needed to make this strip more pleasant: butt-sucking.
TOC: Boiling… filtration… any of this ringing a bell?
Wiz’d: As opposed to places where the wealthy are a majority?
actually made me laugh: Close to Home
gleeb
April 15th, 2008 at 5:32 am
Dick: Cole Lector: art maven, crazed killer, Dan Rowan fan.
‘bean: Ooh, he back-sasses his teacher and has a cheesy tattoo on his arm. He’s a Punk Winkerbean.
Abbey Parker, inexperienced spy: So, finally they come out and say it. I was hoping for amphetamine at least.
One-eyed Wolfdog
April 15th, 2008 at 6:00 am
No matter how many times I read Get Fuzzy, it still says the same thing. Holy cow.
Little Guy
April 15th, 2008 at 6:08 am
Congrats to the COTWers!
21: You’re not the first to think it; you just made it perfect.
JP: Great. Abbey’s fat ass just set off the vintage Lenny Bruce Alarm.
smacky
April 15th, 2008 at 6:20 am
GF: “Tiger Woods doesn’t wash his own balls.”
Satchel’s look in the third panel sells it.
Three cheers to Conley!
man behind the curtain
April 15th, 2008 at 6:41 am
Congrats to the COTWs and the sharp comic insight
A3G — Panel 4 — LuAnn speaks “What do you mean we?”
MW — So Rich is critical of Ron’s care for Mom. After all, mom’s dying so what good was Ron’s care? he couldn’t cure her fatal illness or prevent aging and provide eternal life so the hell with him.
GT — For a star player Elmer has himself one ugly girlfriend. I imagine Elmer will turn out to be an illegal immigrant forcing Milford to forfeit all of their games.
Inspector Dim
April 15th, 2008 at 6:56 am
What’s Spidey’s bad news? Is the TV on the fritz? Did he get a depressing glimpse of next week’s strips? Does the inside of his mask smell funny? Did someone break it to him that everyone knows his secret identity, but no one actually cares? STAY TUNED!
Inspector Dim
April 15th, 2008 at 6:58 am
RMMD: I particularly like the comically undersized “Where’s the MRSA?” sign. It’s like “Where’s the beef?” but with disease instead of Wendy’s.
AhClem
April 15th, 2008 at 7:03 am
JP – Wait a minute. Marijuana? They’re growing Marijuana? And all this time I thought they were running an illicit sweat shop, cranking out counterfeit Beanie Babies, to help save the farm.
dimestore lipstick
April 15th, 2008 at 7:10 am
RMMD. “Little do they know”?! Shouldn’t a line like that be accompanied by a “bwa-ha-ha” and a mustache twirl?
A3G. This is why I put up with A3G. That occasional sensation of glee and a heartfelt “God, I love Margo”, first thing in the morning.
Get Fuzzy. How’d that line make it past the censors?
PBS. Is Bejeezus less offensive? Only time, and the indignant letters to the editor, will tell.
Foob. Stilted, unrealistic conversation. But if Elly is feeling thwarted, I suppose it’s worth it.
F**king Winkerbean. Look! It’s A-hole junior, the edgy young Punky Winkerbean. Although sadly, I had a high school teacher like that back in the early eighties. He, too, facied himself the hipster–and yet frequently used that “bright shiny faces” line.
‘Shaft. HA! Funny! (Well, when I was six, and I first heard my dad use that line, I laughed. )
Whippersnapper
April 15th, 2008 at 7:22 am
Frank Parsnip, your baby ‘Mudges are adorable!
JP: Biff and Elvira are growing marijuana?!?! I totally did not see that coming for the last 2 months.
Brick Bradford
April 15th, 2008 at 7:24 am
DT Say goodnight Dick? Man, that’s some dazzling pop culture referencing, Creepyhoeyesguy. Damn, you should be a ‘mudge with devastating wit like that.
And what’s Ted Koppel doing in the last panel?
Loopina, Auditor of the Jungle Patrol
April 15th, 2008 at 7:40 am
Man, I am SO glad it’s April 15th. After today, no more idiotic tax “jokes” in the paper! I’ve never really understood the jokes about owing money after doing one’s taxes; the 14 years I’ve been doing them I always get a little back.
The government takes about 25% of every paycheck I bring home, then gives me a couple hundred bucks to keep me happy. And I am! – now *that’s* comedy!
MG&G – Holy heck – is the writer of this comic on crack? If so, keep up the good work. Between last weeks Hello Kitty, and now this batshit insanity, I might actually have to start reading the strip again.
BC: That woman in the third panel looks completely foreign to the BC art style. Not that I’m complaining.
RiR: Can we just have the PBS crocs eat Mimi and get it over with?
A3G: Uh-oh, Luann – be careful, or you might end up with this kind of fame:
http://hubpages.com/hub/It-kills-dog-art–Guillermo-Vargas-Habacuc (warning: this is sad)
Marmaduke: Looks like the artist got his hands on Marm.
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
April 15th, 2008 at 7:51 am
A3G: You can’t spell “explOitinG bRAin daMage” without M-A-R-G-O.
Baldo: Can someone tel me why Baldo’s so hot for a girl whose cheeks stick out more than her chest? He must really get turned on by John McCain.
DtM: Yes, that’s correct, Dennis. You don’t pay taxes because your father claims you as his dependent. Should this be funny? Should I be laughing now? Tomorrow’s strip: “I don’t hafta buy insurance ‘cuz I’m covered by my Dad’s plan.” Wednesday: Dennis explains how he lives rent-free. Thursday: Where Dennis’ food comes from. Friday: “My edjacation is paid for by th’ govament!”
FC: Suddenly, Thel realized that for the last 10 seconds, she had been mentally calculating how much smaller the food budget would be with only three children.
GT: Branden Zollar? Is that the full name of our beloved Brenna Antenna? And is that Mopey Pete from FW guesting in panel 2? Also, I’ve finally figured out what the new artwork reminds me of: those generic figures in airline safety-card illustrations.
RMMRSA: “Where’s the MRSA”? Are they expressing doubt the outbreak exists? Or are they just randomly picking slogans from old TV commercials and inserting the word “MRSA” into them? Just off-panel: “Fly the MRSA Skies,” “Have a MRSA and a Smile” and “MRSA: We Try Harder.” And the guy with the “How Many More Deaths?” sign… either he doesn’t realize germs can’t read, or he works for the funeral home and is just trying to plan his week. Seriously, do these people not know how protesting is supposed to work?
Zits: Oh, those wacky kids and their technology!
BH, Cathy, DtM, H&J, H&L, MF, PC, RwO, RLA, 6C: Ha ha! Tax day is so inherently funny all you have to do is mention it to get a laugh! Many bwa’s and ha’s to all you creative, imaginative cartoonists out there!
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
April 15th, 2008 at 8:05 am
RMMRSA continued: Other signs seen at the protest:
Just Do MRSA
Have MRSA Your Way
Is it Live, or Is It MRSA?
Easy, Breezy, Beautiful MRSA
MRSA: It’s What’s For Dinner
Mm! Mm! MRSA!
There’s always room for MRSA
Got MRSA?
It’s MRSA Time
The best part of waking up is MRSA in your cup
I’m Cuckoo for MRSA!
Dogs don’t know it’s not MRSA!
MRSA tastes good like a flesh-eating microbe should
anon
April 15th, 2008 at 8:09 am
What do we want?
MRSA!!!!
When do we want it?
NOW!!!!!!!
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
April 15th, 2008 at 8:17 am
Darn, Inspector Dim @ 53 beat me to the MRSA-Wendy’s tie-in. Nicely played, sir.
Tweeks_Coffee
April 15th, 2008 at 8:24 am
Crap! I accidentally closed the page and lost all my comments. So here’s a fore-shortened version of them…
A3G: Nice how Margo told Luann about the news but let her grin blankly through dinner before she actually told her anything about it.
‘Shaft: Looks like he may finally have to change his shirt. Unless he’s got a closet stuffed with that ensemble which is a disturbing thought.
DT: I must admit that I’m a little disappointed they cut away from The Adventures of Mr. Lector and his Incredible Shrinking Crossbow!
FOOB: Pass!
JP: I call BS. No person in the history of the world has responded to getting stoned on pot by painting an entire room.
MT: Where is this neighborhood that people let their dogs run around unattended on a regular basis? have these people never heard of fences or leashes?
S-M: Don’t worry, I’m sure the news is something anti-climactic like the TV’s out. So we’ll be submitted to weeks of the Parkers TV shopping.
man behind the curtain
April 15th, 2008 at 8:25 am
RMMD — MRSA? Pat, I’d like to buy a vowel, please.
Tweeks_Coffee
April 15th, 2008 at 8:27 am
#59 – SSB: “Branden Zollar? Is that the full name of our beloved Brenna Antenna?”
I’m pretty sure Branden was the corn-rowed “Gazelle” from last year. Looks like she’s gone Asian now instead of (possibly) African American. Suppose the character reference sheet just said “minority”?
Patrick, FOOB Fatigue division
April 15th, 2008 at 8:31 am
Mary Worth: Anyone notice yet that Rick and Ron fighting about their mom actually look older than their “parent”? Mary, of course is sexually aroused by the possibility of “meddling” in the lives of men with battleship grey hair.
Edgy DC
April 15th, 2008 at 8:31 am
How appropriate that a CotW based on Cathy has to be insufferably text-intensive.
Loopina, Auditor of the Jungle Patrol
April 15th, 2008 at 8:52 am
MRSA: The pause that refreshes!
MRSA: The choice of a new generation.
Then there are the PSAs:
Only you can prevent MRSA!
Give a hoot, MRSA!
Click it or MRSA!
Take a bite out of MRSA!
This post sponsored by the Partnership for a MRSA-free America.
Calico
April 15th, 2008 at 9:05 am
#66 – Mary gets sexually aroused?
Someone please flush my eyes.
cheech wizard
April 15th, 2008 at 9:09 am
DtM – ?????? Since when do hookers collect sales tax, anyway?
cheech wizard
April 15th, 2008 at 9:15 am
GT – How many high school kids are named “Elmer” these days? For kids born around 1990, that’s got to be about a half-step in front of “Adolf” in the popularity rankings.
A3G – “And I asked myself, how can I cash in on this? So I’m getting rid of all of your and Allen’s crappy art and replacing it with even crappier art by Thomas Kincaid -but at least the crowds will buy his stuff.
Rebochan
April 15th, 2008 at 10:05 am
My Cage: Am I missing something? I thought that Jeff was already divorced, hence his attraction to Maureen.
AeroSquid
April 15th, 2008 at 10:17 am
Curtis: He’s selling crank to hippies. Boy, will his butt ever be soar once is dad finds out.
Hawkeye
April 15th, 2008 at 10:28 am
Cute babies. And congrats to the other COTW runners-up and winner. It’s fun being on the list.
bees on pie
April 15th, 2008 at 10:51 am
If there’s a cuter name than “Emma Parsnip,” I’ve never heard it.
TheCasey
April 15th, 2008 at 11:46 am
40 – Frank Parsnip: I can just see Calvin by the side of the road with a hand-lettered sign that reads, “Will pee on stuff for food. Pictures extra.” You just know the only time he sees Hobbes anymore is when he’s into a bottle of Night Train.
Also, I’m surprised that nobody in Curtis has wondered where he is getting all this stuff. Last week he needed $20 for a rap CD, now he’s outfittin’ his pops? Seems like somebody’s identity-theivin’.