The Comics Curmudgeon

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The question we all want answered

Rex Morgan, M.D., 4/16/08

We’re still in the opening salvos of this Rex Morgan, M.D., storyline, so it’s all deliriously wonderful and such. Don’t worry, it’ll get boring and stupid soon enough, and then I’ll complain about it for a bit until I just start ignoring it completely; but when that day comes, I hope I’ll take some solace in the thought that any plot that contained both Rex’s snide complaint about the common people’s filthy, filthy noses and a bearded, vested man bellowing HOW ARE YOU GOING TO KILL IT can’t possibly have been all bad.

Spider-Man, 4/16/08

The “bad news” Peter Parker warned us about yesterday turns out to be even less superhero-related than usual for this strip. Still, since Peter continually (and some might say passive-aggressively) fails whenever he tries to leave the house to support MJ’s career, you’d think that he’d be pleased by this news. “You mean I can watch your movie right here at home, on the TV? Yes!”

Marvin, 4/16/08

Panel two of today’s Marvin may be the lowest point the art form of comics has achieved to date. It isn’t helped by the fact that the dogs are incongruously standing on their hind legs and towering over Marvin, making them look less like dogs and more like people in dog suits. Urine-soaked dog suits.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, April 16, 2008 at 03:27 pm and is filed under Marvin, Rex Morgan, M.D., Spider-Man.

213 responses to “The question we all want answered”

Bah
April 16th, 2008 at 3:29 pm [Reply]

Whoa.

Those really are just two guys in dog suits. I mean, skin doesn’t wrinkle like that.
Reedzilla
April 16th, 2008 at 3:31 pm [Reply]

does anyone have any clue as to today’s Crankshaft that doesn’t end with it being racist?

And I’m glad to see Josh’s eye fell on the horrorshow that is Marvin today…that peedog creeped me right the hell out.
Kirbyoto
April 16th, 2008 at 3:34 pm [Reply]

Rex Morgan better have an answer soon or the townsfolk are going after that disease with torches and pitchforks. Not a single nose will be spared.
commodorejohn
April 16th, 2008 at 3:35 pm [Reply]

See, this is why I don’t read Marvin. It’s like all of the Shrek movies’ bathroom jokes without any of…whatever the hell unfathomable element it was that made the Shrek movies inexplicably not completely loathsome.
Penfifteen
April 16th, 2008 at 3:38 pm [Reply]

today’s Pluggers, fixed:

A plugger’s wife can always tell when he’s ~~fallen asleep~~ died…The channels don’t change.
The Sparrow
April 16th, 2008 at 3:43 pm [Reply]

I could swear that today’s Pluggers is a repeat. Then again, the whole strip recycles the same three jokes anyway, so I’m not surprised.

“It’s my job to be repetitive. My job. My job. Repetitiveness is my job!”
Yaanu
April 16th, 2008 at 3:44 pm [Reply]

So, in the comics universe, all publications, no matter what topic they cover, are in the form of newspapers, rather than magazines?
Poteet
April 16th, 2008 at 3:46 pm [Reply]

Ye gods. I salute those of you who are courageous enough to read MARVIN every day. I assume it makes the rest of your day look really, really good.
Alt Comix
April 16th, 2008 at 3:48 pm [Reply]

Rex Morgan: Fear, ignorance and panic are about to take over the town. But one man, and one man only, has the cool to bring calm to the citizenry. All he has to do is say….umm….what is he going to say?

Click here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/altcomix/2416002907/sizes/l/
Deckard Canine
April 16th, 2008 at 3:50 pm [Reply]

Might I say that the most shocking thing (to me) about today’s “Spider-Man” is the fact that the newspaper page — a cover, at that — has no pictures, only text. It worked for English papers first covering the death of Lady Di, but an MJ movie going straight to DVD shouldn’t be *that* big a deal. Of course, the world of this comic doesn’t quite share our priorities, our marketing wisdom, or our entertainment values. Neither do the cartoonists, for that matter.
Josh
April 16th, 2008 at 3:51 pm [Reply]

#6 Sparrow-

Not only is it a repeat, it’s not even a year old.

Josh
UnknownEric
April 16th, 2008 at 3:52 pm [Reply]

FOOB: “I have three step-grandchildren… I don’t even THINK about being a step-grandmother!” The hell? You clearly do, since you’re the one who brought it up in the first place! *sigh*
Mars
April 16th, 2008 at 3:52 pm [Reply]

YAANU: Yes.

Are you the same Yaanu who wrote to me and thereby got mentioned in this cartoon a few months later?
http://www.platypuscomix.net/miscellaneous/index.php?issue=11&page=4
You must be, because there can’t be that many Yaanus in the world.

Regarding the newspaper’s headline, folks: It’s worse than you think. If you go back in the joshreads archives, you find that he started writing about the Spider-Man comic strip as the Marvella subplot was just beginning. So, yeah, she was shooting that movie for at least three years.

And then they dumped the entire plot in one strip–three panels. So Stan Lee, or whatever uncredited writer really writes this, basically urinated on everybody who’d been following that.

There’s Nelson again…..
“HA ha!”
bats :[
April 16th, 2008 at 3:53 pm [Reply]

Niall (from yesterthread): while I’m flattered by your supposition that I’d do something with FC, I couldn’t access it last night (chalk it up to the phase of the moon and/or the existence of a merciful God). I did see it this morning. Not my best, but I could say the same for some nepotistic cartoonists:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/9545446@N07/2419664716/

3. Kirbyoto: yeah, kind of puts a whole new spin on “I wonder what your nose would look like on a pike”…

9. Alt Comix: you can’t say that Rex is nothing if not prepared!
Anomaly
April 16th, 2008 at 3:55 pm [Reply]

#8 – I salute them, too. I’m glad my newspaper doesn’t carry it, I wouldn’t be able to face it all the time.
Glen
April 16th, 2008 at 3:58 pm [Reply]

Today’s Marvin asks us to believe that that dog has been urinating for several hours, without reprieve.
AhClem
April 16th, 2008 at 4:02 pm [Reply]

#8 Poteet -
Good point. From now on, whenever I need a colonoscopy, a root canal or something equally squicky, I’ll be sure to read Marvin beforehand. Anything they do to me after that will seem pleasant by comparison.
Donald The Anarchist
April 16th, 2008 at 4:04 pm [Reply]

So Rex is going to stop a citywide epidemic, and Spiderman is going to deal with the horrors of direct-to-video releases. If this keeps up, Rex will be stopping mad scientists from taking over the world, and Spidey will be providing security for his church’s bake sale. Perhaps an inspirational speech from Mary Worth will set Parker straight again? Or maybe a dog will pee on him.
mattt
April 16th, 2008 at 4:04 pm [Reply]

S-M When Peter announced bad news yesterday, I was just sure he was going to tell MJ that the TV was broken. Instead, he has in his hand an entertainment newspaper that inexplicably features as its giganto headline story the non-news that a Hollywood D-lister’s movie is going direct-to-DVD.

Why is this such big news? This is her first movie, right? How did she get so famous? Was there a story arc about an MJ Parker sex tape being discovered and released to the Internet that I missed? (That would certainly explain why Peter watches so much TV.)
Ross
April 16th, 2008 at 4:08 pm [Reply]

#2, I think Crankshaft might have been going for “lemon” and “white elephant,” but a racist explanation is probably more plausible.

Also, what is the criteria for a “classic” Pluggers? They fall short of submissions and have to go to the file cabinet? I mean, Al Scaduto didn’t repeat TDIET, did he?
Gene
April 16th, 2008 at 4:13 pm [Reply]

Spidey – Am I the only one that needs to see Marvella?
Never teh Bride
April 16th, 2008 at 4:14 pm [Reply]

How come Marvin can talk when he’s talking to dogs? Shouldn’t they all be thinking at each other like some freaky-deaky classic Star Trek aliens?
yellojkt
April 16th, 2008 at 4:14 pm [Reply]

Dinky is on his way over to Clifford’s house to meet Marmaduke for their weekly Big Dog Threeway.

And if you get the Washington Post, I’ve decided that temporary Doonesbury fill-in Daddy’s Home is giving Arlo and Janis a run for the money for the title of Smuttiest Strip In Print.
i2Whitty
April 16th, 2008 at 4:15 pm [Reply]

Shouldn’t the movie producers have notified MJ before they told the press? If I were her I’d be pretty pissed that I had to read the ‘Hollywood Eye’ to find out. But, being married to the world’s most incompetent superhero has probably gotten her pretty used to disappointment.
Gene
April 16th, 2008 at 4:15 pm [Reply]

RMMD – Since when is Fidel Castro a member of the Media, and when did he start wearing plaid shirts?
Jordan
April 16th, 2008 at 4:16 pm [Reply]

Do people read Marvin and say, “Yep, it’s just like they put a camera in our house. That’s just how it was when our kids were in diapers.”?

Or did they used to, but don’t anymore?

Or did they ever?

I ask this, because Marvin and Bitsy started talking, interestingly, after that encounter with the morose leprechaun. And now things are just getting weirder and weirder. I looked through the Chron’s archives and stumbled across a barf-worthy two-week storyline that limply parodied that Joanna Montana or whatever her name is (YOU CAN’T MAKE ME LOOK IT UP AT GUNPOINT). And now the dogs are bipedal?

So I guess the question is, is Marvin’s readership eager for new, fresh ideas, and this is what comics historians will look back on in 50 years as Tom Armstrong’s transitional phase?

Or does he just figure that since nobody reads it anyway, it’s okay for him to hit the bottle at the drawing table from now on?
NotAGoatHead
April 16th, 2008 at 4:17 pm [Reply]

RM M.D.: Those guys sitting on the stage in the last panel could care less about the whole thing. One’s reading the newspaper (probably Pluggers. He’s not laughing) and the other guy’s bored out of his skull.
the crock
April 16th, 2008 at 4:19 pm [Reply]

I read the comics to escape.

But today’s Marvin brought back those damned memories.

Why did Dad have to dress up like a dog before he beat me?

WHY?!
Revenge of Chesnut
April 16th, 2008 at 4:19 pm [Reply]

#16 Glen- Is that it? I thought maybe there was something I was supposed to “get” about it, but I guess I interpreted it correctly. And BTW, who teaches their dog to go “potty”? This brings to mind one of those little kiddie training pots that sit on the floor. I’m not a pet owner, but don’t people usually just teach dogs to go pee outside? Usually it somehow involves the phrase “go for a walk,” right?
Fred P.
April 16th, 2008 at 4:19 pm [Reply]

From Dinky’s expression of vacant bliss, I think that “going potty” is referring in some capacity to marijuana, quite possibly meaning “getting stoned off his ass on it,”.

I know they don’t normally like druggie humor in family papers, but perhaps Armstrong thought that given Marvin’s usual preoccupation with poop jokes, he could slide this one by under the censors’ radar.
odinthor
April 16th, 2008 at 4:22 pm [Reply]

Spidey — Hm. I believe that, strictly speaking, to be a “flop,” something has to be released and prove so repellent that nobody goes to see it (or, if only on DVD, nobody goes and buys it). At this point, MJ’s movie is simply a stinker, with the potential to be a flop. Hope that makes her feel better!
RaJ
April 16th, 2008 at 4:22 pm [Reply]

I don’t know what kind of actress Mary Jane is, but I’m really impressed by the expessiveness of her bangs: When she’s concerned, they curl into question marks. When she’s appalled, they stand bone-straight in exclamation. It seems a shame that such talent should be delegated to the DVD rack. Meanwhile, Peter’s lone spitcurl hangs ever thus, flaccid and useless.

Spidey characterization-by-hair: so on the nose, it’s kind of actually moving in the direction of his nose.
Kaitlyn
April 16th, 2008 at 4:23 pm [Reply]

#2 Reedzilla and #20 Ross – I didn’t and still don’t see anything racist in today’s Crankshaft. I figured he was trying to say white elephant/lemon and ha ha, old people mixing up their words, the hilarity!

The only racist bit I can see is um, most electronics are Japanese, and he said “white lemon” and lemons are lemony-yellow?
michael farris
April 16th, 2008 at 4:26 pm [Reply]

I love the first panel in today’s Mary Worth.

Guys? Mary’s getting concerned. You won’t like her when she get’s concerned.

If Mary Worth were a Marvel super villain, she’d be The Intrusive Meddlora.
BigTed
April 16th, 2008 at 4:26 pm [Reply]

That last “Spider-Man” panel deserves to be in the Museum of Modern Art. Who needs Roy Lichtenstein imitating comics when you can have comics imitating Roy Lichtenstein?
fishmorgjp
April 16th, 2008 at 4:28 pm [Reply]

S-M: A movie goes direct to DVD and it gets a humongous front-page headline? What next — “SUPERMARKET RUNS LOW ON SHOE POLISH” or “CAT STUCK IN TREE” for more exciting headlines?

Marvin isn’t actually a comic strip… it’s an approximation of a comic strip. Like when housewives eat rocky-road ice cream and watch Oprah Whinefrey, they indulge in approximations of emotions.
One Man Band
April 16th, 2008 at 4:28 pm [Reply]

I think we’re all missing the point here:

HOW ARE YOU GOING TO KILL IT?
Mr. Lemon
April 16th, 2008 at 4:30 pm [Reply]

Mary Jane Parker’s inevitable transformation into a Lindsay Lohann clone is drawing closer and closer to completion, now all she needs to do is develop annorexia and a crippling drug habit, not that it will be difficult to do either of those as a crummy movie star in LA.
dreadedcandiru2
April 16th, 2008 at 4:33 pm [Reply]

#13: UnknownEric– Because she’s a delusional old bat filled with malice, stupidity and arrogance.
Mountain Mama
April 16th, 2008 at 4:36 pm [Reply]

First of all, kudos to Violet! A masterpiece of snark! I used to like “Cathy,” I’m ashamed to admit, but Good Lord, it’s become the very definition of beating a very, very dead horse.

Secondly, I watched Les’ video and heard the music and I’m a changed person. Unfortunately, I can’t figure out what’s different. I also can’t figure out if this is good or bad. Bravo, Les!

Finally, I heard Josh’s podcast dealy. Woo hoo!

Sorry to have missed the MRSA jokes, but I still may contribute. Hmmmm…..
Kaitlyn
April 16th, 2008 at 4:37 pm [Reply]

I hate Pluggers.

Really.

And I have a blog devoted to the comic. I haven’t updated in a couple of weeks. I’m sure somebody noticed.

Anyway, if anyone else wants to take up the daily Plugger attack, go ahead. I hate them and they depress me.
Steve S
April 16th, 2008 at 4:39 pm [Reply]

Don’t worry, MJ. Your career isn’t over–you’ll just have to do nude scenes now.
Dean Booth of the Affect Ad Patrol
April 16th, 2008 at 4:39 pm [Reply]

Crankshaft, typo alert: “bought a a big”
bats :[
April 16th, 2008 at 4:39 pm [Reply]

Yay! Coffee Stalk infiltrated again! (look for Linda in Tucson, as if the snark wouldn’t give it away…heh)
Kaitlyn
April 16th, 2008 at 4:41 pm [Reply]

43 – Dean – Bought a a sign that says paris in the the springtime…
Trilobite
April 16th, 2008 at 4:45 pm [Reply]

It would be great if this Rex Morgan storyline turned into a Jaws homage, with a worried town council putting up a bounty for killing the deadly MRSA and all the locals racing out to bag themselves the menacing necrotizing fasciitis before it kills any more kids.

Rex, of course, would team up with that crusty bearded guy in the safety orange vest. With Abbey on a leash to sniff out the deadly bacterium and a couple of shotguns, they’ll never stop until the hunt is over.

Later on, in the dark of the forest, they will show each other their scars and tell the stories of how they sustained them. “I accidentally pinched it in the ball washer at the country club,” Rex will whisper shyly. “We’ve all been there,” his newfound companion will sympathize.
RaJ
April 16th, 2008 at 4:46 pm [Reply]

Also, I don’t need to point out how awesome it is that the vested bearded guy is yelling, “How are you going to kill it,” while pointing directly at Rex. Clearly he recognizes that the doctor is a menace. Unfortunately there is no cure for Rex as he is the strip’s damn eponym. The only advice I could give the gentleman is to try to steer events towards anything to distract one from the main character’s existence, such as veteran-amputees, Indians named after soup, French thugs, chopsticks, and breasts. Of course Rex will go on, like a special strain of herpes that is barely-secretly a fraud and hates its wife.
Lisa
April 16th, 2008 at 4:50 pm [Reply]

Reedzilla, I think Crankshaft’s comment is a combination of white elephant and lemon. He normally mangles stuff like that.
Mountain Mama
April 16th, 2008 at 4:51 pm [Reply]

Tribolite: “You’re going to need a bigger microscope.”
Mariko
April 16th, 2008 at 4:54 pm [Reply]

H&J–
Terrible. I mean, we all know that this strip ran out of material a long time ago (if it ever had it), but I don’t think it ever stooped to stealing from a great playwright as a lame attempt at a joke.
teegee
April 16th, 2008 at 4:55 pm [Reply]

46 Trilobyte: “We’re gonna need a bigger antibacterial agent!”
ohyes
April 16th, 2008 at 4:55 pm [Reply]

What a dramatic entrance this will be for Dr. Rex Morgan.

The man cries out, “How are you going to kill it?”

Dr. Morgan walks onstage and everyone knows, that disease is going down by gunshot or car bomb.
Mariko
April 16th, 2008 at 4:57 pm [Reply]

Also, the little girl’s phrasing in the first panel of Mark Trail probably isn’t the best.
teegee
April 16th, 2008 at 4:58 pm [Reply]

49 Mountain Mama: That’s a mighty quick draw you got there!
Rusty
April 16th, 2008 at 4:59 pm [Reply]

Marvin: The expression in the second panel seems to depict the bliss of urination, the sweet release. In fact, if a puddle had been drawn surrounding the character’s feet in the third panel I would have not been surprised.
Harold
April 16th, 2008 at 5:03 pm [Reply]

Considering that DVD is where most movies make their money these days, she should just shut the hell up and cash her checks.

Peter: “Well, M.J., back to the camsite for you!”
M.J.: “To hell with that! Simon Krandis is probably gonna walk! He was loaded! I was a FOOL to leave him for you!”
monsieurjohn
April 16th, 2008 at 5:05 pm [Reply]

Sally Forth: I may have a dirty mind, but it’s not filthy. But I can’t think of any other “things” that they might be referring to today other than “screwing,” so if anyone else has another suggestion I would really appreciate hearing it.
RaJ
April 16th, 2008 at 5:10 pm [Reply]

Regarding Mavin, that second panel’s text could only have been written by a person of extraordinary detachment, a human trafficker, say, or a Revlon employee, or a post-Alvin and the Chipmunks-era David Cross. Only the heartless, is what I’m saying.
True Fable
April 16th, 2008 at 5:10 pm [Reply]

# 44 bats :[ – Ahhh, I thought I detected the crispy crackle of premium snark fresh from the wrapper! Good job, babydoll!
SF_READER
April 16th, 2008 at 5:11 pm [Reply]

OK – so is the Marvin comic the real thing or have the words been changed with photoshop? I can’t tell, I have a Marvin block on my PC.
If these are the original words, then the cartoonist must be very, very anal retentive.
Mariko
April 16th, 2008 at 5:12 pm [Reply]

Wow . . . looking back over the past few weeks of Marvin, I’m appalled at how much the “artist” tries to make Marvin look like Calvin, as far as facial expressions go.
Perky Bird
April 16th, 2008 at 5:16 pm [Reply]

Forget the possibility of racist undertones in today’s Crankshaft– I’m still wondering who says, “I guess the Mitchells bought a big flat-screen TV”? Wouldn’t you state it as a certainty? What could have possibly lead to that statement being uttered?

Or is she just speculating on all sorts of random things that could have happened in the world?
ar_d the mrsa slayer
April 16th, 2008 at 5:30 pm [Reply]

I think Rex should send the angry, torch and pitchfork weilding mob into other comic strips to perform a cleansing…starting with Marvin.
Mr. O’Malley
April 16th, 2008 at 5:30 pm [Reply]

I’ve been busy the last few days so I only did a quick check to see if this has been mentioned before. I didn’t see it, and anyway it may be worth mentioning more than once.

The San Francisco Chronicle has been running Candorville while Doonesbury is on vacation, and invited reader comments.

Today they printed an article saying that comment has been running 80% against Lio. (It sounds as though a lot of these people would like to have it replaced by Beetle Bailey.)

To me this makes a certain amount of sense. Lio would appeal to the more intelligent segment of the population, who would be unlikely to reply to a request for an opinion of Candorville by giving their opinion of Lio.

They are seeking further comment, including recommendations for other strips to consider. The full article is here.

I think I will recommend My Cage as a replacement for Dennis the Menace.

The e-mail address for comments is candorcomment@sfchronicle.com

The address to write a letter (and I think editors give more weight to letters than e-mails) can be found in the article.
Trilobite
April 16th, 2008 at 5:31 pm [Reply]

#62 Perky Bird — I think she’s just a skeptic, as anyone who had to live in the world of Crankshaft would inevitably become. Sure, the Mitchells SAY they bought a flatscreen TV, but they might be liars. They might have brain tumors that are causing them to have hallucinations. They might even mean something different by “flatscreen TV,” something you would not care to know about, something that certainly could not be covered in any detail in a public newspaper where children might see it.

Or, worse yet, old Crankshaft himself might take the story as an opportunity for a continuing plotline: imagine if we had to sit through a week or more of “Crankshaft rants about how much he hates fancy TVs and the people who buy them” instead of a single day of “In lieu of an actual punchline, Crankshaft mangles some idioms in a decidedly unfunny way.”

Phrasing it as “I guess the Mitchells bought a big flat-screen TV” gives her an out if it looks like there’s a rant brewing. She can say “Oh, hang on, I guess they didn’t buy one. Hey, maybe you can do something hackneyed and tedious about how summer vacation is about to start or about your goddamn gardening club that no one in the world cares about. You know, some topic where I don’t have to interact with you in any way.”
JP (not Judge Parker)
April 16th, 2008 at 5:38 pm [Reply]

I don’t think the “Hollywood Eye” prints any stories; they just print large headlines that give you all the pertinent details, kind of like a ticker. That’s the only reason Spidey gets that paper. Considering his love of TV, I’m sure he would have found reading an article too eyeball-challenging.
Beauregard Bugleboy
April 16th, 2008 at 5:42 pm [Reply]

#64. Wrong. Editors love e-mail. They hate letters because of the paper cuts.
SF_READER
April 16th, 2008 at 5:44 pm [Reply]

#64 Mr O’Malley – I also think a letter from someone who lives in the Bay Area and actually buys their paper will carry more weight.
Also to be fair, there weren’t a lot of people wanting Lio replaced by Beetle Bailey:
“And many readers argued for either the return of certain strips we used to carry – one vote for Beetle Bailey, one vote for Prince Valiant – or suggested others we might consider.”
Zaq
April 16th, 2008 at 5:48 pm [Reply]

The thing that unnerves me most about Marvin is how, as soon as Marvin started walking upright and talking out loud, so did the dog. Normally I think of myself as an open-minded, progressive person, but the thought of a mixed Plugger/non-Plugger household, which is what Marvin is rapidly becoming, terrifies me. HOW ARE YOU GOING TO KILL IT, indeed.
Trogdor
April 16th, 2008 at 5:48 pm [Reply]

Yesterday’s Luann: “I never thought my dweeby brother would have a relationship before I did.” He’s three years older than you are, has a real job, and has moved out of the house already! The odds were in his favor. I know you don’t like him. But you really are trying to cover him in loser sauce with that comment.

(Accidentally swapped comments between yesterday and today’s comics.)
anonymous
April 16th, 2008 at 6:06 pm [Reply]

RMMD: I’m afraid if Rex doesn’t come up with a good plan to “kill” the flesh eating disease, Irate Plaid Shirted Man is going to hold his own meeting later in the church basement, where he and his gun-toting friends are gonna get liquored up and make an assault on the hospital….

Really, Irate Plaid Shirted Man is over-reacting; it’s the soccer moms with their hand sanitizers who freak out over MRSA. We had several cases all over town some months ago; pandemonium ensued; then the subject was dropped and not heard about again.

Curtis: So where is Curtis getting the cash, presents, and cash for presents?
The Gland Canyon
April 16th, 2008 at 6:18 pm [Reply]

I don’t entirely understand Bitsy’s comment in today’s Marvin. It’s as if the purpose of Dinky’s dog training is for him not to pee and/or poo at all. Forever.
Mountain Mama
April 16th, 2008 at 6:34 pm [Reply]

Teegee: Thanks. That’s one of my favorite movie lines/scenes of all time.

Mark me down as enjoying the current “Curtis.” He’ll get busted and in lots of trouble, but it’s a neat idea.

I still hate Mary Worth.
MustacheMike
April 16th, 2008 at 6:35 pm [Reply]

I only read Marvin when it’s featured here, but when did Marvin start walking and talking?
Loramir
April 16th, 2008 at 6:47 pm [Reply]

In addition to the many other disturbing aspects of Marvin, the language is also weird. “Obedience school,” I believe, is where dogs learn to behave. “Dog training class” indicates a class where one learns to train dogs. If all Dinky knows how to do is “go potty,” I believe his future in training other dogs may be rather bleak.

On the other hand, a friend of mine has taught his roommate’s dog how to pee on command…perhaps this what Dinky’s planning to do.
june
April 16th, 2008 at 6:53 pm [Reply]

KILL IT WITH FIRE, obviously.

Judging from his slack expression, Dinky’s going potty again as he speaks.
bats :[
April 16th, 2008 at 6:55 pm [Reply]

64. Mr. O’Malley: interesting developments on the SF Gate comics page. Newspapers are dropping numbers fast in just about all markets, and I think one reason is that younger people aren’t buying them…they (and old fogeys like me) are hooked up to the internet, where I can get news that’s vaguely fresh (I swear, I’ll see articles in the Arizona Daily Star two days after I’ve seen them online! yep, that’s cutting edge journalism) and the comics that aren’t the same old, same old. There’s a massive hue and cry whenever’s the threat of the Star dumping FC or Ziggy, and it’s not coming from the 20-something’s — because the 20-somethings (and 30s and 40s) aren’t bothering to waste money on the Star!
As a matter of fact, the Star has a cunning plan to keep itself afloat…it just raised the cost of a daily issue from $.50 to $.75. Ooooh, how clever. I’m going to run out and buy a jacked-up copy right now and admire all the ads ‘n’ FC ‘n’ Marmaduke ‘n’ Ziggy…
gnome de blog
April 16th, 2008 at 7:05 pm [Reply]

#34:
Mary is simply The Meddler. She wears a full meddle jacket and wields a special weapon known as a tuna casserole, the mere whiff of which compels her victims to babble everything they know and obey her commands. She is invulnerable.

Her only known (living) antagonist is the Cocktail, who masquerades as a waiter at the Bum Boat and occasionally spills drinks on her intended victims, thus rendering them temporarily impervious to her ministrations.

That last time that happened was during her confrontation with the foul-mouthed heroine, Ritzilla. Mary eventually won out, anyway.
John Hewitt
April 16th, 2008 at 7:13 pm [Reply]

In what universe is a movie going to DVD front page news? Not only that, but what legitimate headline would fail to name the movie and instead focus on the fact that a minor celebrity actress is the lead? I swear Peter must have taken the page 22 copy and had someone Photoshop it onto a newspaper so he could make MJ feel especially bad. Nice move EmoMan.
Brick Bradford
April 16th, 2008 at 7:21 pm [Reply]

MW The look of fiendish glee on Mary’s face as she prepares to launch an all out busy body assault is terrifying. Run, Ron and Rick, Run!

Meanwhile, Mary’s lawyers work with Mom to make Mary her sole beneficiary.
Mrs. Buck Tuddrussell
April 16th, 2008 at 7:21 pm [Reply]

Marvin: I’d think the pee-dog needs to get to the vet. Urinating all day can be a symptom of something serious. Unless he really has been peeing on his yellow friend all day, in which case, I need a therapist.

Crankshaft: The “white lemon” pun is ridiculous. And I think Batiuk put the “I guess” in the wrong place – she meant to say “The Huffnagles got a big screen TV and I guess it doesn’t work right”.

Yes, I know it’s not the Huffnagles, but I’m not going back to read Crankshaft again. Brr.
wooddragon
April 16th, 2008 at 7:24 pm [Reply]

On an unrelated note, who is the second baby in “Stone Soup”? I don’t get it in my local paper, so I haven’t been able to read it regularly. Can someone bring me up to date?
Diamond Joe
April 16th, 2008 at 7:30 pm [Reply]

#62 Perky Bird:

I’ve heard people use “I guess…” to mean “I have heard, but cannot verify, that…” in the same way one might use “It looks like…” or “It seems that…”

Like, “I guess about a third of these people already have staph bacteria growing in their noses.”
“REALLY? HOW ARE YOU GOING TO KILL IT?”
M-life
April 16th, 2008 at 7:51 pm [Reply]

The third panel of Rex Morgan:

“BUUUUUUUUUURN THE WITCH!!!”
“She turned me into a NEWT!”
boojum
April 16th, 2008 at 7:53 pm [Reply]

84 M-life:

You’re not a newt.
Saluki
April 16th, 2008 at 7:55 pm [Reply]

Crankshaft was just mixing his metaphors (or whatever they’re called) as is his wont in this strip’s running gag. Sort of the same way Biff (Mad Dog) Tannen did in the “Back to the Future” movies. Of course Biff was funnier. Probably because he was usually covered in manure. Come to thing of it Shaftman would be funnier covered in manure too.
Mars
April 16th, 2008 at 7:55 pm [Reply]

On an unrelated note, who is the second baby in “Stone Soup”? I don’t get it in my local paper, so I haven’t been able to read it regularly. Can someone bring me up to date?

Second baby? I don’t know what you’re talking about. There’s only one baby in Stone Soup and her name is Holly.
CoffeeJanitor
April 16th, 2008 at 8:12 pm [Reply]

MT: I’m just gonna take a wild guess–That dog’s going to be stolen.

PBS: Pastis, you are my hero. The moles are freaking awesome. I hope he uses them in the future after this arc is done.
man behind the curtain
April 16th, 2008 at 8:14 pm [Reply]

RMMD — How are we going to kill it? By slowly boring it to death just as we do to our readers.
Lisa
April 16th, 2008 at 8:14 pm [Reply]

62. Perkybird: I guess is, in lots of places, a way of stating a certainty. I grew up saying I guess so and I guess not for yes and no. So saying she guesses the Mitchells bought a flat screen TV means that they did. I guess it’s only prevalent in certain parts of the country. ;o)
Perky Bird
April 16th, 2008 at 8:24 pm [Reply]

Marvin: “I been going potty all morning”

Dinky also flunked basic grammar. It should say
“I have been going potty all morning.” Unless Dinky’s jus’ tryin’ ta keep it real, bro.

He must be recovering from some horrible type of illness (extreme constipation? blocked urethra?) in order for his constant peeing/pooping to bring him such pleasure that he feels compelled to mention it to passers-by. Either that or he has a real excrement fetish.
Shoshi
April 16th, 2008 at 8:27 pm [Reply]

Marvin–I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m still not following the logic. Was he going potty all morning because he flunked potty training? In other words, he was going potty in the house? Or did he say “swell” because he finally learned to “go potty” in the sense of peeing in the proper place, and he has been practicing it all morning (so now he might graduate)? I’m guessing it must be the former (otherwise, why would Marvin not be surprised about his flunking), but then why does Dinky say “swell”? Is it because he thinks it’s enjoyable to go potty, even though it means he might never graduate?
Perky Bird
April 16th, 2008 at 8:29 pm [Reply]

#90 Lisa–

I often use “I guess” when I’m trying to not-so-subtly get my husband to do something for me. As in, “I guess I’ll go wash those dishes,” or “I guess I’ll empty the cat litter box.” It often works.

Hmmm…using that same sort of logic, maybe if I said, “I guess our neighbors bought a flatscreen TV,” he’d go buy us one, too!
Lisa
April 16th, 2008 at 8:34 pm [Reply]

Maybe that’s what Pam is doing in Crankshaft, hinting to her husband for a flat screen.. gotta keep up with the Huffnagles, or whoever…
Josh
April 16th, 2008 at 8:35 pm [Reply]

On the “I guess” issue, I think it’s actually modifying “bought.” My theory is that Crankshaft’s daughter has inherited her father’s hateful misanthropy, and is passive-aggressively implying that they stole it.

Josh
Little Guy
April 16th, 2008 at 8:43 pm [Reply]

Second Panel of Rex Morgan — A gathering of Comic Page Editors, addressing if, how and when to replace “For Better of For Worse”.
Nekrotzar
April 16th, 2008 at 8:46 pm [Reply]

HOW ARE YOU GOING TO KILL IT?

THE JUNGLE PATROL!

AND THE RIGHT FIST OF JUSTICE!

(Not pirates!)
Niall
April 16th, 2008 at 9:14 pm [Reply]

I finally got to hear the Gil Thorp “music” of yesterthread….

I am still somewhat zonked out from a particularly loud, tiring and exhilarating concert last night where I stayed up til 4am fom the buzz…

..(starts lifting a fist while listening, wanting to yell “CLAM-BAAAAAKE!”)

…yeah, I need more sleep… the Marvin strip is NOT helping… gyaaah….
Gold-Digging Nanny
April 16th, 2008 at 9:24 pm [Reply]

Why am I not surprised to find the words “Marvin” and “lowest point the art form of comics has achieved to date” in the same sentence?
Lisa
April 16th, 2008 at 9:38 pm [Reply]

Congratulations, Niall! Way to go! :o)
Alfred E. Neuman
April 16th, 2008 at 9:41 pm [Reply]

Man, it’s a slow day in “Mudgeworld when most of the posts pertain to “Marvin”, and the meaning of “I guess”.

#107 (previous thread) Chyron HR— Thanks for the good info. You are a veritable fountain of knowledge about “Luann”. (Does that bother you?) I had completely forgotten about Bernice being hit on by her female supervisor and her make-out session with Zane—those took place during my pre-Curmudgeon days. I guess (no debates, please!) that those near-sexual experiences had an impact on Bernice’s personality development, since she is becoming more deliciously perverse as time goes on. Her obvious lust for her brother Ben and her attempt to become Luann’s date to the valentine party when Ben wasn’t available, indicate that Bernice is becoming the most sexually adventurous character in the comics. I am really looking forward to the further adventures of that fascinating Machiavellian ravenously incestuous bisexual harridan, Bernice!
Loramir
April 16th, 2008 at 9:44 pm [Reply]

I think we are all expending way too much time, effort, and brain capacity trying to figure out what, exactly this anthrophomorphic dog’s urinary habits are…
Cornwhacker
April 16th, 2008 at 9:45 pm [Reply]

The TV does not belong the Huffnagles, people (weren’t they Mr. Belvedere’s neighbors?) — it belongs to the Mitchells, as in Henry and Alice. All those comics people talk about each other, you know. Soon, the Mitchells will bring the TV back to the Ziggy return desk (next to the bin of MJ Parker straight-to-video DVDs). Mrs. Plugger will observe the whole exchange and offer a suggestion as to why the channels don’t change.

I’m curious to hear the racist interpretation of “white lemon”, though. I googled and get mostly pastry recipes. Some of them look good, but I don’t want to offend anyone by baking them…
TKBaltimore
April 16th, 2008 at 9:48 pm [Reply]

Luann: I’m so glad that Toni Daytona’s creepy-haired niece is off the comics page for now. I couldn’t deal with another day of her boxy raven hair staining my fingers at breakfast.
kahvigirl
April 16th, 2008 at 9:51 pm [Reply]

82 – The “new” baby is Lucy, Joan (Val’s sister) and Wally are the parents.
Niall
April 16th, 2008 at 9:52 pm [Reply]

14. bats :[ : Well, you were late but did not dissapoint. :) And yes, someone was trying to save your soul a little more, so I apologise for forcing you to see it…

23. yellowjkt: wow, Daddy’s Home is indeed walking the line. Thank you for the notice. :)

64. Mr. O’Malley: ah yes. Asked opinion on one strip, everybody will simply rail against another. And My Cage can’t replace Dennis as they’re different formats on the page.

65. Trilobite: I don’t read Crankshaft, but this makes it sound as if he’s a close neighbour to Dennis the Menace… Crankshaft and Mr. Wilson, best buddies?

And, everyone: let’s all stop thinking about Marvin! Our lives shall only be the richer for it.

100. Lisa: thanks. :) It’s not an album I’d recommend to most people, though. Rather… jarring. And loud. There are lyrics, if you can make them out. :)
Hawkeye
April 16th, 2008 at 9:56 pm [Reply]

RMMD: “Kill it?” Come on, Beard Guy, that’s your answer to everything.

52 ohyes: Jerry Bruckheimer presents: Rex Morgan, M.D.
Tonstant Weader
April 16th, 2008 at 10:07 pm [Reply]

Now every time I think of Marvin I’ll be thinking of furries who are golden shower enthusiasts.

Perhaps unsurprisingly, this fact will not engender a significant change in how I feel about and respond to Marvin.
boojum
April 16th, 2008 at 10:19 pm [Reply]

98 Niall:

Congratulations on your “morceau prodigieux.” And yes, I’m talking about the track.

Does “contributor” translate to “royalties?” Looks to me as if you got co-writing credit.

So you’ve got that going for you, which is nice.
Muffaroo
April 16th, 2008 at 10:23 pm [Reply]

Marvin – So is the ‘dog’ called Dinky ironically because he’s so not-small, or is he just named after his dick? They’re both plausible.

I can’t quite bring myself to reprint a whole comment I made in an earlier thread, but as it’s still within ten entries of the end of the thread, I don’t feel guilty about posting a link to my own song-hacking brilliance. Pity me. Read my comment. I thank you.
Tlachtga
April 16th, 2008 at 10:37 pm [Reply]

FC: I knew these kids were mutants, but “eye feathers” is just disgusting.
ColoZ
April 16th, 2008 at 10:53 pm [Reply]

A Marvin-Pluggers crossover? That was high on the list of things I didn’t want to see. Especially not in Marvin. Or Pluggers.
True Fable
April 16th, 2008 at 10:54 pm [Reply]

# 111 Tlachtga – what gets me about “eye feathers” is, these little mutants are so literal otherwise. How the hell would Guest Artist Billy draw them? Wouldn’t the rest of the body be feathered, too?

Ah HA, Keanes! Answer me THAT!!
LTBF
April 16th, 2008 at 11:07 pm [Reply]

Thursday’s Foob shows Elly trying to drag April into the world of chowhounds.
LTBF
April 16th, 2008 at 11:08 pm [Reply]

Hey, Ellie, how about asking what she’s working on? Something for school? Show a little interest in her writing instead of shoving food down her face.
DanKirby
April 16th, 2008 at 11:10 pm [Reply]

Thursday’s GT is just ridiculous. None of the panels have any relation to each other. It’s like it came out of some kind of “GT Randomizer” or something.
True Fable
April 16th, 2008 at 11:29 pm [Reply]

FBoFW Elly is apparently a noble, sacrificing, patient, understanding mother only when Connie’s around to praise her about it. Otherwise she is the nagging scold who doesn’t listen to her daughter’s explanation, that you see here. Elly, you can’t quit because you never really Started being motherly to April.

9CL Funny, I would have assumed Burkhardt’s line of sight would not be on her eyes, but focused lower on her body.

Momma She’s smiling. Make her stop, it squicks me out!
Dale Dribble
April 16th, 2008 at 11:34 pm [Reply]

That’s not me in panel #2 of RMMD 4/17.
Diamond Joe
April 16th, 2008 at 11:35 pm [Reply]

#112 ColoZ:

What, you mean something like this?

I think is this a sequel to the one from the other day.
Cyhip
April 16th, 2008 at 11:48 pm [Reply]

Marvin: if Dinky flunked four times, then maybe his going potty was somehow something rebellious.

It also disturbs me that he likes going to the bathroom so much.
BenG
April 17th, 2008 at 12:17 am [Reply]

GA: …Apparently whoever writes for this strip has never heard of a Devil’s Food Cake. Moving on.

Luann: Face it Luann. The only way you and Ben will ever be happy together is if you kill her. I honestly don’t see anyone minding to much.

MT: Letting a new puppy outside all by itself at night time. And just sort of expecting it to know it’s boundaries and to come back home. Sorry sweetie but you deserve to lose that dog.
True Fable
April 17th, 2008 at 12:19 am [Reply]

JP Every freckle-faced maid Should. Wear. Life. Alert.
A New Day
April 17th, 2008 at 12:19 am [Reply]

Re: Mark Trail.
Ahem.
Dogs are not short, furry humans! Puppies do not understand long verbal instructions! Dogs should not run loose in suburban neighborhoods! Even if they don’t get dognapped by hillbillies, they will still poo on the neighbor’s lawn or get hit by a car! The author of a so-called nature strip should encourage better responsibility in live animal ownership! Dogs should not be emotional substitutes for absent fathers! No plot should be this predictable and/or repeated at such a short interval!
Thank you.
mumbles
April 17th, 2008 at 12:24 am [Reply]

FOOB: So let me understand this. Michael is a self-absorbed artiste, Lizzardbreath is engaged to a man with whom she was engaged in an emotional affair while he was married and with a young child, and it’s APRIL that causes Ellie to flip her lid, for giving some typical teenager backtalk? Bitch, please.

April, RUN. Run to the big city. There’s a cool chick named Therese you should meet up with.

Crankshaft: More Batiuk happy fun time?
bats :[
April 17th, 2008 at 12:25 am [Reply]

TGIThursday!

FC: whoa, way out of character…a four-year-old would think getting paid in marbles is the best thing in the world. I’d credit Billy with a smartass comment like this, but not slow little Jeffy…

MT: and with all this exposition, I can only think of Gary Larson’s “what dogs hear”: blah blah Fido blah blah blah blah Fido blah blah…
Still, it’s about time for a PSA:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/9545446@N07/2420576388/sizes/o/

MW: and Mary, misunderstanding Ron (or is it Richard), quickly hurries out to the parking lot and into the back seat of Ron’s (or is it Richard’s) Crown Victoria…

PBS: snort.

FOOB: promise, Elly? It’s way past time! (Christ, what an asshole…)
True Fable
April 17th, 2008 at 12:30 am [Reply]

A3G Be careful, Luann. Braver folks than you have extended their hand to Margo, and only drew back a stub.
MT The excited little puppy bounces out into the yard and from there to the street, where he is run over by a 4×4 going muddin’ in the country. Way to go, kid! Glad he cheered you up for a while!
MW Gee, I hope the hothead in the brown jacket is talking to Mary! Oh I hope I hope I hope!
RMDS “No, sir; that would be locusts which are not exactly a plague since they are simply creatures of nature who happen to congregate at inconvenient times for human. Now if you want to talk about the Black Plague, suppose you go visit Crock or Hagar. Next question?”
FW Oh geez, I can see it coming: Les is going to flake out because there’s a flirtatious troublemaker at the same school his precious daughter attends, and even though the troublemaker isn’t currently speccin’ on Les’s kid doesn’t mean he might not in the future.
Ease back, Les. Be glad Cory’s last name isn’t Fable. Heh heh heh.
True Fable
April 17th, 2008 at 12:32 am [Reply]

#126 re:FW – No, that’s not Les but it’s only a matter of time before Clingy Father hears about this from Uber Groovy Teacher.
Poteet
April 17th, 2008 at 12:33 am [Reply]

# 123 A New Day — Yay, great speech! Please allow me to pile on — Dogs should not run loose anywhere, city, suburb, or country, unless they are guaranteed to only run on property where they are safe and welcome! And “property of neighbor who hasn’t called yet to complain” does not qualify! Thank you.
True Fable
April 17th, 2008 at 12:35 am [Reply]

FC That’s either a hell of a Big Screen TV, or Jeffy is the world’s most talkative baby.
DtM Okay, so it wasn’t menaceworthy, but you did make a good point, kid. You drew an even 0; no plus and no minus points.
kippetje2000
April 17th, 2008 at 12:44 am [Reply]

DT: “SPROIT” The new international onomatopoetic sound for all ineffectual, mis-guided weapons (actual and metaphorical) everywhere. Soon to be seen in crossovers in all comics corners.
Ted once again fails to satisfy his wife’s or his daughter’s expectations or to land a job? “SPROIT”
Crankshaft’s in-law’s laying in a stroke-induced coma on the kitchen floor and is now a vegetable? “SPROIT”
The man who gave you the puppy didn’t give you anything useful with it, like food, or a leash? “SPROIT”
Some old biddy is getting all in the way of your tough brotherly love? “SPROIT”
And it can be substituted as any B.C. dialogue. “SPROIT, SPROIT, SPROIT SPROIT SPROIT.”
boojum
April 17th, 2008 at 12:49 am [Reply]

FBoFW: Oh, this is going to be good. The Mudges’ response, I mean. I leave foob-snark to the experts, but when I saw today’s strip, I knew the organic material would hit the old ventilating device.

A3G: Even better! Someone is gonna explain technical details to Luanne!

Bats :[ stole my line about What Dogs Hear, except I was thinking of A3G — “blah blah blah, blah blah blah blah Luanne, blah, blah blah Luanne, blah blah.” She already has that “WTF?” look on her face.

RMMRSA: This is a semi-real question: Do they bring in new coloring monkeys every week? I know we’ve talked about discontinuity in the Sunday strips, but this is different. Last week in the diner, Rex was wearing a suit of such pimptastically shiny blue it looked like it would glow in the dark, while June wore grey. But as soon as she bit into that cheeseburger (cue creepy foreshadowing music), they both changed clothes. I think that burger, far from being a MRSA Special, may have been a portal into a different dimension. Different, but equally inscrutable.

GF: Just want to say that I love Get Fuzzy. And in all the excitement about Tiger Woods’ balls a couple of days ago, I fear we may have missed out on a prime tee-shirt line. I’ve made a point to drop “Howdy Skeeter, t’looks like ‘un rain!” into at least one conversation a day ever since. And I feel the better for it.
Poteet
April 17th, 2008 at 12:57 am [Reply]

MW — This’ll teach me to complain when all the characters in MW look like Mary. Richard and Ron’s Belligerent Alky Boomer look is not an improvement.
Trotzenbonnie
April 17th, 2008 at 1:03 am [Reply]

FBOFW – What? Didn’t Elly just spew a bunch o’ crap the other day about managing to do all of the things she did as a young mother because she was TOUGH?! So when the going gets tough, the tough…quit? (I could insert an insensitive joke about French-Canadians here but it’s late and I’m tired and I’m surrounded by Cajuns who have guns and know how to use them.)
I have always maintained that the only way for a mother to know that she’s done a good job is when she gets fired. So, Elly, if you quit, I guess that means as a mother – you really suck.
christian
April 17th, 2008 at 1:09 am [Reply]

Having seen some of the stuff Stan Lee’s done with Kirby or Ditko I assume he is writing this comic strip. Its all pretty dire.
christian
April 17th, 2008 at 1:09 am [Reply]

WITHOUT kirby and ditko. WITHOUT

sorry, fellow Marvelites
Mibbitmaker
April 17th, 2008 at 1:17 am [Reply]

4/17:

A3G: Jack Davis! Getting involved with a moneymad scheme with Margo Magee! How could you? What would Will Elder say? What would Mort Drucker say? What would—–

BBailey: They yawn like an angry mob! (might be a good snark for RMMD, too…)

FOOB: Well, it’s about time!

FW: “Winkerbean” means “asshole” in another language.

Garfield: It’s time for Singing With the Winkerbeans…

GT: “…There’d be a sexual harrassment lawsuit!”

H&J: Sorry, ma’am, but the FOOB self-congrats series is over now. No more auditions, please.

JP: She’s been taken over by the spirit of Gerald Ford! She needs an exorcist or something.

MF: So while the Democrats have McCain being a Swiftboater for Nixon, right-wing mallardcontent Tinsley has him doing nothing at all, or less. And there’s the Senator, himself, in the middle — with reality.

MW: What is he going to do to his brother in the parking lot?? He’s already shoved a giant arrow through his skull!!

NS: Invading Canada? Really? Not only is this little fantasy another exercise in Wiley hysteria, it’s an exercise in shopworn hysteria.

Popeye: Now I’ve seen everything… a casual rescue? “WE MUST SAVE HIM… AT OUR LEISURE!!”

RMMD: That’s the same crowd that, when they got together to discuss economics recently, declared a new Great Depression at the top of their lungs!

6C: “You are geeeeeetting veeeeerrrrry sleeeeeeeeepyyyyyyyyy… aaaand veeeeeerrrrrrry arrrrrrrrouuuuuuuuuuuuused….”
RAHK
April 17th, 2008 at 1:17 am [Reply]

MW: Oh cool, the Jack Palance twins are going to have a brawl. We can only hope meddlesome Mary will try to break that up and cop a nasty left hook.
Diamond Joe
April 17th, 2008 at 1:27 am [Reply]

B.C.: The current cartoonist really misses Johnny Carson’s old “Carnac” bit. May your dialogue hang balloonless and unattributed in the air.

BB: “Ho-hum!”? That’s not an exclamation indicating fatigue! Do you think they’re reviewing their own strip for us?

BH: And he figures his wife is descended from some other line? Perhaps tree squirrels with tiny pointed breasts?

Blondie: Dagwood figures maybe they should know ahead of time whether or not the message is going to be important?

‘Shaft: Now, if she couldn’t respond because her mouth was full of guacamole, this would be a pun. As it is, it’s just mashing together similar-sounding words.

Curtis: “Now he’s flashing cash around like he’s ‘Donald Trump’… like he’s richer than ‘Mammon.’ If ‘you’ want ‘me,’ ‘I’ll’ be in the ‘john.’”

DT: Don’t miss today’s exciting installment as Liz’s donut-addled synapses slowly begin to fire, and Iron Man in a wig shoots C-3PO.

DSet: I’ll just skip right over the pile of joke-like material, and note that that’s the widest damn phone handset I’ve ever seen.

Foob: “Waah! April doesn’t appreciate my smothering solicitousness! It’s possible she may grow up to occupy a place outside my chubby shadow! Waah!”

FW: Now Batuik has me wanting characters to die slowly from cancer. Preferably cancer of the jaw, so he can’t smirk anymore.

GA: Aren’t angel food cakes supposed to have a hole in the middle?

GT: “You can’t touch Lisa Wyche? Have you tried putting on soft music and telling her she’s pretty?” Meanwhile, Elmer has evolved from Homo habilis into a Vulcan between panels.

GaBI: I don’t get it.

H&J: Drink that whole glass, and you’ll be feeling pretty magnificent. There’s also more of it when the glass is flat than when it’s tilted. Plus, she appears to have two rows of knuckles, one behind the other.

JP: That’s a delay of plot penalty, and the Redheads lose ten yards.

LC: El Taco Cart Guy is about to have an education in the deflationary pressures a recession puts on consumer prices.

Marmadunk: He’s just sending a message… “Bones on a chair… this will be you one day, mustache man, just bones on a chair…”

PMP: “So that’s when I became a high-class call girl is what I’m saying. How ’bout you?”

Peanuts: Kids all over the country are reading this, thinking, “Cards? Ink pad? Stamped? What mean these strange words?”

PC: God help me, I found this halfway funny.

Redeye: So the joke is that he got a burn from cold potato soup? What comes tomorrow? He gets lacerations from a marshmallow?

RM: “Wait! Did he just say he has plague on his hands?!”
“HOW ARE WE GOING TO KILL HIM?”

RIR: Honest, we don’t need reminders of how tiresome the old “translating baby talk” schtick was.

SF: If I were the cat, I’d be more concerned about how these mice have turned carnivorous. Incidentally, a splendid example of the “whole ham/whole chicken” cartoon fridge law posited the other day.

S-M: Yes, this is why Eddie Murphy no longer gets work. And what’s with the look of shock on Peter? Is he realizing he’s missing Access Hollywood?

StF: So why are there still bugs where his tongue was?
True Fable
April 17th, 2008 at 1:35 am [Reply]

Lynnie Baby,

Has the adulation from all the groups you’ve schmoozed up to through the years through ‘very special episodes’ of Foob finally cut you loose from your moorings, O Phantom of the Phatback? You have done LOST it, my little camera-mugging minx.

On Monday in a panel you (or probably one of your staff members; let’s be honest shall we?) recently drew, Elly damn near broke her arm patting herself on the back over how tough she was and what a great mother she was, and all manner of smug congratulatory bullshit. Then yesterday she discovered this new concept called a “family” and decided she might give that a go.

Yet TODAY, again in a new strip so you can’t claim that it was simply something you pulled from the pile and didn’t pay much attention to (which could be argued since few of the reruns have made a lick of sense or of appropriate timing), April gives an explanation why she can’t rush to the stove/table laden with artery-cloggers, and Elly wants to QUIT? I mean give the girl a break, I wouldn’t want to eat with a bunch of SLOP SMACK GLOMP SLURP slobs either if I had an appetite.

Oh my little dimple-cheeked smudge pot, what has happened to bust your magic twanger, froggie? Have you finally realized that your hybrid idea is more work than you bargained for? That nobody is interested in re-reading the adventures of Brat Boy and Idiot Girl and their parents, Hideously Bellowing Aging Before Her Time Nag and Excruciatingly Clueless Fuckwad Lazyass Dickweed?

You aren’t making sense any more, not that you have been much in recent memory. I once feared that you were retiring so you could spend your days attempting to waylay my Red Hot Fable Ass, but now I think you’re just as sick and tired of your characters as the rest of us are. If so then give in, baby kill anthony and come over to the Dark Side kill elly too and all will be forgiven. Well, almost all kill Iris too.

Truman A. Fable
My subliminal messages are all upfront kill anthony
bats :[
April 17th, 2008 at 1:37 am [Reply]

RMMD: tear ‘em up, Andy!
http://www.flickr.com/photos/9545446@N07/2420668408/sizes/o/
True Fable
April 17th, 2008 at 1:40 am [Reply]

#140 OMG, I’m glad I work alone because I ROARED with laughter at that, bats :[ ! You are the bees’ knees, baby! ;D
bats :[
April 17th, 2008 at 1:47 am [Reply]

139. True Fable: I think “Hideously Bellowing Aging Before Her Time Nag”and “Excruciatingly Clueless Fuckwad Lazyass Dickweed” have real super-hero potential…
Jym
April 17th, 2008 at 2:32 am [Reply]

=136= A3G (Mibbitmaker): Of course it’s got to be that Jack Davis, who works in printing (sorta) at nearby MADison Avenue.
Funkula
April 17th, 2008 at 2:57 am [Reply]

I have to say that “HOW ARE YOU GOING TO KILL IT?” is probably the funniest thing I’ve ever seen in one of the non-Margo-containing soap strips. In fact, I wouldn’t have been at all surprised if it had been Margo at the town meeting, loudly demanding genocide while gesticulating wildly.
Ed Power, writer of My Cage
April 17th, 2008 at 3:03 am [Reply]

Mr. O’Malley

Suggesting ‘My Cage’ to the SF Chron, or to any newspaper, would be much appreciated. Niall may be right on why it may not work as a exact replacement for DtM, but you can still suggest ‘My Cage’ on it’s own. No need for a business plan to go with it. :D

I’m uneasy with picking specific comics for ‘My Cage’ to replace anyway. Seems like bad sportsmanship. But making it on our own merit is cool.

Niall,

Let me know how you feel about next Monday. His story isn’t over yet (by far).

Also, I kinda like the fact our strip has these cute animals, but reads a little like ‘The Larry Sanders Show”…well, ok…maybe not that bad. :D

Whether the strips survives or not, I’ll always be happy we had a strip with things like divorce, single parenthood, a pet amoeba, a biggoted turkey, an emo duck, and even a talking libido. :D

BTW: For all those who didn’t like My Cage’s font…well, just check out the Melissa’s announcement on our blog:

http://mycagecomic.blogspot.com/2008/04/new-font.html
Zaq
April 17th, 2008 at 3:11 am [Reply]

I’m not sure which made my blood pressure rise more today, Foob or FW. When I sat down to consider just which one it was, I realized, I’m getting worked up about newspaper comics strips what is wrong with me, which of course added to the whole mess.

But seriously, ERRRRGH.
True Fable
April 17th, 2008 at 3:18 am [Reply]

# 146 Zaq – Yes, but by channeling my reaction toward something so unimportant as the comics, I am able to let off a lot of steam and/or get a real delight in laughing, and save my ass from getting into REAL trouble by losing my temper or pulling a stupid prank out of boredom, in real life.

Baby, I can rationalize damn near ANYTHING. ;-)
Zaq
April 17th, 2008 at 3:28 am [Reply]

Fair enough, True, fair enough. I knew I wouldn’t be alone in my sentiments… hell, that’s just one of many reasons I hang out here, neh?

Also disturbing: apparently I am a plugger today, and I also have had the same sentiment as Ziggy on occasion. At least I don’t have MRSA in my nose. I think.
Frank Parsnip
April 17th, 2008 at 3:56 am [Reply]

4/16 Marvin: I can’t help thinking of Jeff Daniels in one of those pee-soaked costumes. That would explain how Marvin and these “dumb and dumber” dogs are able to communicate in English.

4/17 Marvin: What was the joke supposed to be?

Lio: Yes! The stunning result I had hoped and prayed for these many years.

GT: You’d better have someone else other than Lisa Wyche pitch because she keeps beaning the batters and if we charge the mound we the wrath of Lisa’s numerous basketball fans.

MW: Robert Mitchum’s Amalfi brother is fast in responding to Mary’s concerns, while the one played by Gil Thorp Sr. wants Mary out in the parking lot… presumably to kick her ass.

A3G: Jack Davis, the Mad Magazine cartoonist?

Funky Pantysniffer: There’s something seriously wrong with seeing Mark Twain get sassed by what has now been established as being a freshman.

MT: The kid deserves to lose this dog — issuing complex instructions in English rarely works with puppies and even less with old dogs.

Sex Organ, M.D.: All we now need is for Rex to step in and announce that most of them probably have MRSA in their noses already. The hospital’s plastic surgeons will triple their profitability almost instantly as soon as the punches start flying.
True Fable
April 17th, 2008 at 3:58 am [Reply]

# 148 Zaq – I find that I have a great deal more in common with Pluggers than not, and I’m okay with that. While I do make the most of modern conveniences and appliances, I do like things like ice cream as a night cap and consider brain freeze as one of the hazards of the habit.

Never called a Urologist an Un-Plugger, though. Jeezus Cheezus, that’s just… uh uh, no. XD

I do work in a hospital, though, so the MRSA storyline in Rex Morgan, Doctor Sweetie has me mildly interested. Shoot, man; we don’t get the kind of crowd Rex and Andy pulled in. All our angry threatening mobs demand is to know who the baby daddy is, if they can still keep the deer they hit or why the band-aids cost $20 apiece.

Our mobs don’t care if they die, just as long as they aren’t responsible for much and that it will cost as little as possible.
Dub Not Dubya
April 17th, 2008 at 4:00 am [Reply]

Hey Elly…go right ahead and quit like you’re threatening to. But if you think you’ll have a job waiting for you in the Jungle Patrol, forget it.
Mooncattie
April 17th, 2008 at 4:39 am [Reply]

OK my first name is Greg and I´m Canadian BUT I´M NOT MARRIED TO CONNIE AND I DON´T HAVE GIRLS AND I DON´T KNOW THESE AWFUL FOOBS HONEST!

But just in case, I´m now in Berlin and it´s raining and I´m staying awhile. Cheers!
Frank Parsnip
April 17th, 2008 at 4:47 am [Reply]

Mooncattie — have fun in Berlin. I’ve got to go there in a few weeks’ time.
willethompson
April 17th, 2008 at 5:32 am [Reply]

Lio has revealed Mark Trail to be a transvestite? A transvestite???

Mark Tatulli, if it were possible, I would offer to have your children. And I’m not talking babysitting here.
True Fable
April 17th, 2008 at 5:54 am [Reply]

# 154 willethompson – o. m. g….!

Tatulli, you win; I don’t think I could possibly top that in my Mark Trail Theater. *bows to the professional wiseacre*
dreadedcandiru2
April 17th, 2008 at 6:23 am [Reply]

FBorFW: You know what’s the worst thing of all about this? I’ll tell you. Right now, hundreds of idiots are e-mailing Lynn to tell her that they feel Elly’s pain. In their alleged minds, Elly isn’t being an obtuse, intrusive jerk, April’s being an ungrateful picky-face Martian princess. According to them, she should drop all that silly homework and run down to the ~~feeding-trough~~dinner table and commence SHLUPP-SMACK-GLOOORPPPH-GLUMMMPPPHing when Elly says to.
gleeb
April 17th, 2008 at 6:30 am [Reply]

91: Come on, it’s a dog. It learned to walk upright and speak intelligibly, and you worry over it’s command of verb tenses?

A3G: There’s only one printmaker Eric trusts. He even puts that on his business cards: “Trusted by Eric!”

Beetle: How meta.

’shaft: Clearly a racist attack on little green men. With laryngitis.

Curtis: Like the commodore said, he’s probably bootlegging junk food into school. I still like the idea that he’s the retailer for Dickens Chicken, the chicken that put pot in every chicken.

‘bean: So, he’s giving the teacher a pledge of not having to put up with his lazy-punk, talking-in-class ass for two years? What a nice thing to do.

Rex: They left out the panel where he was roughed up, leaving a strange continuity error in the last panel.

Zippy: Who’s the real freak, eh, Griffith? Here’s a clue: it’s you.
minor flood
April 17th, 2008 at 6:38 am [Reply]

I guess only the really important people in R.M.M.D. get to have blue hair.
LTBF
April 17th, 2008 at 6:46 am [Reply]

How dare those close minded people in Rex Morgan land get upset about some strange virus that kills a little boy?. Rex was so concerned the coronor only had to twist his arm to help instead of putting a gun to his head.

Better way for Ellie to handle the situation……

April, what are you working on? I understand its important for school, but supper is ready and we always eat as a family. So could you please get to a stopping point and come down and eat with your father and me?
LTBF
April 17th, 2008 at 6:47 am [Reply]

MW:Lady, who the Hell are you and how do you know who we are?
Niall
April 17th, 2008 at 7:15 am [Reply]

BB: ARGH! TIredness is “Yawn”, “Ho-hum” is boredom! I mean, this was known in the 1800s, so both Walkers should know this! It’s basic stuff here! WTF??

Blondie: Now that joke is from the 1800s…

Curtis: Ya could try asking him first, you know… that’s a sign of trust… As it is you’re bheaving like the current administration… oh great, is this actually the point of this storyline??

DT: Crossbows go TUNG, not SPROIT. It’s time to round up all newspaper cartoonists and teach them basic onomatopeias.

…okay, I was thoroughly amused by F Minus today. It’s silly basic stuff like this.

FC: They do play for money, since they lost all their marbles. Like you.

GT: Yay! We’re back with having a completely unrelated storyline with each panel! With impossible angles and perspective! Ahhh, Gil Thorp is classic again. If I’m going to get baffled, I want it to be done with flair and zing!

JP: …I thought 911 was everywhere now? And hands up, how many of us read panel 1 and inserted “And I can’t get up” for panel 2? *raises hand*

MT: In the storyline’s defence (talk about devil’s advocate), I think that many young children do talk to pets as if they were children their age or a little less, and also expect them to fully understand what they say. So she can get a pass for the setup. None of the adults having had their pets napped do.

MW: Oh boy! Fisticuffs! This should be more painful than anything in Gil Thorpe!

MC: If Max has good traits… I’m not sure I want to know them. I like feeling like strangling the bastard. :)

PBS: If more cartoonists used real punchlines like panel 3, things would be more bearable.

Phantom: We’re the Jungle Patrol! And we don’t have anywhere to put prisoners at any time! HUT!
Whippersnapper
April 17th, 2008 at 7:24 am [Reply]

MW: Wouldn’t it be AWESOME if, just this once, Mary’s meddle-ees turned to her and said, “Get lost, old woman. No one asked you,” and then that was the end of the story arc? I know it will never happen, but a girl can dream.

KT, this is way belated and I’m not sure you’ll even see this, but I loved your comic! Please tell me you’re going to continue the adventure.
Shmork
April 17th, 2008 at 7:31 am [Reply]

It really disturbs me how Marvin’s size fluctuates from strip to strip. Sometimes he’s the size of an actual toddler, sometimes he’s about the size of a chipmunk.

Have the dogs been able to talk with non-thought balloons the whole time, or did they matriculate at the same time Marvin did?

Addendum: Is it just me, or has Marvin been on a long road of suckage the last year or so? I mean, it was never great, but recently it seems to have really deteriorated. It’s one thing for a strip to be consistently bad (Spider-Man, I’m looking at you), but to see one go from something like ho-hum-baby-jokes to never ending baby-shit-and-dog-piss is not something I am as accustomed to seeing.
dimestore lipstick
April 17th, 2008 at 8:09 am [Reply]

FOOB: That’s it? That’s all it took to get Belly* to back the @#*& off with her horrible, (s)mothering BS ? Just stand up to her with plain and unambiguous talk?

Go April!
It won’t last, but I kind of enjoyed it.

* Bully + Elly = Belly
NotAGoatHead
April 17th, 2008 at 8:11 am [Reply]

What’s with the body secretion comics? Have you been following “Over the Hedge” lately? I’m begining to think “Tax Bat” is a euphemism for a product of a bodily function.
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
April 17th, 2008 at 8:14 am [Reply]

A3G: Luann: “What was that bit about a ‘printmaker’ again?”

A.D.: May your parent die, leaving you to continue his stiflingly unfunny, almost universally hated comic strip.

Cathy: Skyward-pointing hand in panel 3. Avoid, avoid, avoid.

(WT)DT: Now that Lector’s fired his crossbow, Dick has plenty of time to lumber up to him, even in that heavy armor, and lop his head off with that broadsword before he could reload. Also, I prefer to believe that “SPROIT” isn’t the crossbow firing, but the sound of a blood vessel bursting on Lector’s now-faceless skull. Also also, who’s Liz talking to? Herself? The mask? She has that kind of unfocused “Alas-poor-Yorick” look in her eye.

FC: Jeffy’s standing on a footstool, and still only reaches the height of his seated father’s sternum. I estimate his height at about 18 inches. That is one tiny, tiny freak child.

GT: The purpose of those L-shaped screens is to protect the pitcher from being hit by a line drive. So how did Gil convince his school board to buy him one? Nobody on his team has been in danger of hitting a pitch, much less a pitcher, for the last six years.

H&J: …has gone from stealing from Shakespeare to stealing from slogans seen on coffee mugs at the Hallmark store.

JP: How in the world did Marie’s skirt stay down during her tumble? It must be using the same anti-gravity technology that allows her to support her body weight on only her broken ankle and one elbow. After a fall like that, most people’s first move would be to get off the stairs and onto a flat surface; Marie’s apparently were to pull out a cell phone and tug her skirt down.

Luann: Good for you, Luann.

MW: When I read these brothers’ dialogue, I hear it in my head in the voices of James Gandolfini and Joe Pesci.

Phantom: What, the women aren’t going to bunk with the fellas? I thought these ladies were supposed to be tough! I suppose the new barracks will be painted pink and have lilacs planted all around them?

PC: What’s their problem with the “get-free-money-from-the-government guy”? Matthew Lesko is awesome.
(Warning: Link SFW, but not safe for normal brains.)

RWO: Those dogs are huge.

6C: I was in Best Buy yesterday, and had the same thought about Mariah Carey.

SFx: Attention Bob Weber Jr.: If you’re going to draw a cat in bondage, do it right.
Kevin Moore
April 17th, 2008 at 8:30 am [Reply]

Since when is straight-to-DVD the end of a career? For has-beens like John Van Damme, it’s just another phase. And for the porn industry, it’s a whole way of being. C’mon, MJ, embrace your fate as a never-will-be!
Gabacho
April 17th, 2008 at 8:42 am [Reply]

Apt 3G – Luann: “Who are you and what are technical aspects?”

FooB – Does anyone else get the feeling that when Foob finally ends and a stake is pounded through LJ’s heart, it will be revealed that April actually did drown in the river fourteen years ago and all this is a dream sequence? Because it seems like Ellie is getting crazier and crazier.

Mary Worth – Ron? Richard? It doesn’t matter. Whichever of you is dragging Mary out to the parking lot for an ass whipping is my favorite new character.
Tweeks_Coffee
April 17th, 2008 at 8:45 am [Reply]

#145 – Ed Power: Ah ha! So Jeremy was a duck then. How does that owrk out, was Norm’s mom a duck or something? Or is this like Pluggers (in general concept, certainly not execution or “humor”) and species are somewhat interchangeable?
Tweeks_Coffee
April 17th, 2008 at 8:59 am [Reply]

DT: Obviously Tracy is no longer in the suit and is about to inflict some horrible trauma on Mr. Lector.
FC: There’s something deeply upsetting about Daddy Keane’s proportions. His legs in particular are icking me out.
FW: The apple doesn’t fall far from the asshole, or something to that effect.
H&J: Only cheese and wine, lady, everything else just gets moldy.
Luann: Thank you!
MT: Yeah, that’ll work. It’s a good thing dogs aren’t prone to running away or anything.
MW: Oh sweet, these clones are about to throw down in the parking lot. This is gonna be good.
S-M: Hmm, the ribbed sleeve makes it look more like Peter’s wearing Spider-Man jammies. I’m trying to not get excited about the idea of Spider-Man going to straighten out the studio. After all, they’ll find some way to suck the fun out of that plot.
Lio: Oh my God, “Mary Worth’s kicky pants suits” nearly made me burst out in laughter in my cube.
redliner
April 17th, 2008 at 9:02 am [Reply]

Oh man, when I first read GT today, I thought it said, “We can’t touch Lisa Whelchel,” and I got really excited.
alley (not allie) cat
April 17th, 2008 at 9:05 am [Reply]

Lio: Well, my question’s been answered. Mark Tatulli is definitely one of us. And quite boldly so.

Hey Mark, Lio has never been snarkfodder, which is really saying something. Not even Mutts can say that.
rich
April 17th, 2008 at 9:06 am [Reply]

I’m thankful, at least, that in the flash-forward Funkyverse Mr. Kablichnick has evolved from being a Prince impersonator to being a Kurt Vonnegut impersonator.

Slightly more dignified.
bats :[
April 17th, 2008 at 9:07 am [Reply]

152. Mooncattie: I’d like to think you had better taste. And weren’t blind, deaf, dumb and stupid.
(And I’d be right! Hope you’re having a wonderful time in Berlin, but I’ll bet there’s no Kon-Tiki there!)

157. gleeb, re A3G: snort!
“You can trust your prints
To the man with the perfect hair
The perfect, permed, blonde-to-tan hair…Eric!”
Okay, so it doesn’t scan with the old Texaco jingle…
John C Fremont
April 17th, 2008 at 9:08 am [Reply]

Lio – Hoo!!

MW – Brown shirt guy in panel one; “Curses upon you, Mary!”

A3G – Jack Davis, the printmaker Eric trusts. Yes, Jack Davis; Ask for him by name. Jack Davis; He explains all the technical aspects to you. Jack Davis; Not associated with Mad Magazine.

“Jack Davis, the printmaker Eric trusts.
For washerless faucets ask your plumber for us.”
man behind the curtain
April 17th, 2008 at 9:08 am [Reply]

MW — You wonder at what pont before they take it outside, the Amalfi boys will stop and wonder who the hell this strange woman is who just came out of their mother’s hospital room and started ordering them around.
And don’t they know that The first rule of Fight Club is – you do not talk about Fight Club. The second rule of Fight Club is – you DO NOT talk about Fight Club.
bats :[
April 17th, 2008 at 9:10 am [Reply]

Also with Lio…thank god Lio and his friend found Mark only parading around with the hair bow: the thought of seeing Mark in Cathy’s swimwear…..AACCK!
(And don’t nobody dare post that retina-detaching Cathy-in-swimsuit-crotch-shot, either!)
Artist formerly known as Ben
April 17th, 2008 at 9:10 am [Reply]

4/17

9CL: This Burkhardt guy looks amazingly like Seth. Now he (Seth) would be a challenge. Actually I’m pretty sure that Isabel has hit on him too, but for entertainment purposes it would be good if she kept plugging.

A3G: I’m still a little disappointed that Margo’s big new idea is just to sell art prints. It just doesn’t have that Magee edge, that je ne c’est quois. Maybe there’s some fine print about Luann stripping naked at a flower painter’s convention, or signing all the prints in blood. There’s always hope.

BC: There’s a third panel here. Why?

WofI: If that’s the threshold, the kingdom is going to need a much bigger dungeon.

BB: The men aren’t tired, they’re bored. Can’t imagine why.

MC: Are there any plans for a My Cage movie? If so, I recommend Aaron Eckhart as Max.

SFx: The mice are getting bolder and more aggressive. Soon they’ll be raising hand painted signs reading “This is OUR city now!”

PBS: Now this is how you work a bad pun into a funny strip.

C-Shaft: Fast Ed’s completely nonsensical pun seems to be intruding on some family tragedy involving Jeff’s mother. I know, that’s so unlike Tom Batiuk.

Momma: Sonia’s creepy smile stays in place after Francis reveals that he’s just here to mooch off her. I suspect she’s finally going to drug him and cook him into a meat pie. No, there’s no Sweeney Todd in her life. Sometimes a woman has to do for herself.

MW: Are we going to see two sad, saggy geezers going mano-a-mano in the parking garage? Probably not, but we can dream.

Phantom: “Oh yeah, barracks. That’s been on my to-do list for twenty years now.”

GT: Good news, everybody! Kaz may have lost the earrings, but it looks like he’s gained tribal tattoos on at least one bicep. Also, Elmer looks more than ever like an eighth level High Elf outfielder.

Lockhorns: On the go with Leroy and his synchronized walking buddy.

Archie: Is Moose wearing fishnet on his sleeves? Between that and his haircut, he seems to be moshing at a Jane’s Addiction show somewhere in 1993.

Luann: Oh, who knows? Maybe Ben does like trying on makeup samples at the mall. Although that’s probably the kind of hobby you keep to yourself when you’re in the army.

H&J: You know how Beetle has Buxley Wednesday? I propose that from Herb and Jamaal keep doing “Drunk Eula Thursday.”

S-M: Yeah, but then the star blames the director, the director blames the screenwriter, and the screenwriter bangs his head against a wall. Have you learned nothing in Hollywodd?

Cathy: Irving;s a financial imbecile too. There’s some comfort in that.

Big Dog: “Darling, you remember our old milkman Mr. Davis, don’t you? As you can see, he’s lost a bit of weight.”
man behind the curtain
April 17th, 2008 at 9:14 am [Reply]

FBOW — Poor April. Finally enjoying some personal time. Surfing the internet porn. About to reach the “BIG O” and along comes “Mommus Interrruptus” Time to hook-up with Gerald again.
TheDiva
April 17th, 2008 at 9:18 am [Reply]

DT: I predict that when we see Lector’s “disfigurment” it turns out to be a disappointingly minor skin rash, a la Gerard Butler’s Phantom.
FOOB: So apparently motherhood is only worth it as long as people are falling at your feet and telling you what a wonderful person you are, and should be abandoned at the first sign of dirty diapers, whining toddlers, or snarky teens. This explains so much about this strip.
Lio: Awesome. That is all.
MW: I look forward to seeing these two AARP-eligible guys having an arthritic smackdown in the hospital lot.
gkl
April 17th, 2008 at 9:19 am [Reply]

MW: White hair? Arrow through head? Steve Martin’s career is in worse shape than I thought if he’s reduced to cameos in Mary Worth

GT: Today’s episode takes androgyny to a whole new level.

GA: Teeka is way too proud of opening the gates of hell and unleashing the demons that reside within upon her guests. Well, actually, the Kleebs have given every indication that they deserve it, so maybe she’s not too proud. Whatever, it’s creeping me out.

MT: Run away, Bill the Dog-not-Dad! Save yourself!
John Robie
April 17th, 2008 at 9:28 am [Reply]

Hold on Rex Morgan, A plaid shirt? Vest? BEARD?!!! Clearly the “How are you going to kill it” guy is a Mark Trail villain. Obviously he’s the one releasing the MRSA in some byzantine scheme to block the construction of a new hospital wing that would disturb a nesting duck or some damn thing.

If only there were some one in this series manly enough to deliver the righteous punch of justice necesary to stop him. Maybe June can sublimate all that frustration…
cheech wizard
April 17th, 2008 at 9:34 am [Reply]

JP – Bad move by Marie to call Abbey – apparently she doesn’t know what her boss does when one of her fillies breaks a leg.
Sandy
April 17th, 2008 at 9:41 am [Reply]

I love the Angry Pointing HOW ARE YOU GOING TO KLL IT Guy. I want him to have a cameo in every strip, and he ask one of the characters HOW ARE YOU GOING TO KILL IT? while pointing at someone else.

In Family Circus, he could point at Dolly and ask Jeffy HOW ARE YOU GOING TO KILL IT?

Or in FBorFW he could point at Liz and ask Francie HOW ARE YOU GOING TO KILL IT?

Honestly, I think he already is friends with Mary Worth.
boojum
April 17th, 2008 at 9:42 am [Reply]

GT:

Panel 1 — Elmer Vargas and Branden Zollar finish lunch. Uh-oh! Looks like Branden didn’t finish her salad. Or her hideously shrunken head of Alfredo Garcia.

Panel 2 — Batting practice, and the batter takes his accustomed stance — in front of the centerfield fence.

Panel 3 — Is that… Is that a young Jodie Foster, stepping is as catcher on the girls’ softball team? Wow. So the rumors are true after all……
Calico
April 17th, 2008 at 9:42 am [Reply]

#171 – Haha! Yes, she’s still a hottie after all these years.
She would like you to pray for her as well:
http://www.lisawhelchel.com/

FOOB – so Elly will finally cut at least one umbilical cord? That will be the day I grow a third leg.

3G – And now Margo, having manipulated dummy Luann into signing a horribly unbalanced and unfair contract, settles down with her other associate, Jack Daniels.
Shoshi
April 17th, 2008 at 9:49 am [Reply]

180 — Well, Elly DID SAY that the hard part was being loving!
Artist formerly known as Ben
April 17th, 2008 at 9:53 am [Reply]

Lio: Ah, so much makes sense now. But Mark’s fetishes could only be revealed here, not back in his Lost Forest home.

As far as taking Cathy’s bikini goes: if a man is wearing plus-size women;s swimwear under his clothes, he’ll have to do a lot of adjusting.

Um, or so I’ve heard.
Calico
April 17th, 2008 at 9:53 am [Reply]

Lio – Thank God Mark wasn’t wearing Cathy’s icky-aaccck swimwear, or that horrible polyester pantsuit that smells like cheap perfume and old casserole.
Calico
April 17th, 2008 at 9:59 am [Reply]

#179 – Yes, the poor kid can’t even go Roadside via the Intergoogles.
Move out West, April, and keep riding those horses. It’ll eventually work out.
AhClem
April 17th, 2008 at 10:20 am [Reply]

JP – It looks like Marie is suspended in mid-air. She must be very quick on the cell phone: “Hello, Abbey? How are you doing out there? Say, I don’t want to bother you, but I just tripped on the stairs, breaking my ankle, and I’m about to hit the [thud!] floor.”

Either that, or Abbey bought one of those time-compression devices that have been sitting in the Paramount back lot since Star Trek: TNG was cancelled.
Anonymous
April 17th, 2008 at 10:23 am [Reply]

182: You’re on to something, John. There’s a reason Rex’s coroner buddy is named Andy, after all…
Old School Allie Cat
April 17th, 2008 at 10:26 am [Reply]

True Fable once again made the FOOB Blarg today. I’m starting to think he’s made a deal with the Devil, or at least, one of the Devil’s minions (aka Lynn Johnston).

Other than that, I have nothing to snark that hasn’t been snarked upon this morning.
chennuxfangirl
April 17th, 2008 at 10:27 am [Reply]

Lio ~ Full of win as always!

I KNEW Mark Trail had a shady side.
Professor Fate
April 17th, 2008 at 10:27 am [Reply]

HOW ARE WE GOING TO KILL IT?

there’s a t-shirt saying no?

FOOB: oh shut up – the kid’s being a kid and lord knows I woudn’t want to spend a lot of time at the table with the way you and train boy eat.

Per killing Anthony – Id say the traditional methoods are the best – Stake through the heart, cut off the head, fill the mouth full of garlic.
Gold-Digging Nanny
April 17th, 2008 at 10:35 am [Reply]

Lio — Bwahahahahahaha! *Bows in Mark Tatulli’s general direction.*
Paul1963
April 17th, 2008 at 10:46 am [Reply]

“Urine-soaked dog suit” sounds like something you’d find on a list of property removed from a home whose occupant was found dead after the neighbors reported an intensely horrific smell emanating from the place.

Jesus, much bigger stars than Mary Jane Watson-Parker have movies go straight to video all the time and they don’t get 72-pt “YOUR MOVIE SUCKS” headlines above the fold on Varie–um, Hollywood Eye.
True Fable
April 17th, 2008 at 10:48 am [Reply]

# 193 Old School Allie Cat – uh uh, babydoll. I’m a good Catholic boy and the Pope’s currently in my homeland. I have protection against the Devil and Lynn Johnston.

Besides, check out the I wrote her at #139. The day I might get one of THOSE printed in Coffee Squawk is the day I’ll make a deal with her.
Paul1963
April 17th, 2008 at 11:12 am [Reply]

Goddamn it, I can’t get the phrase “urine-soaked dog suits” out of my head! Makes me want to find a “Zippy repeats a four-word phrase” strip and do some retouching…
dale
April 17th, 2008 at 11:25 am [Reply]

Luann

When did Ben decide to quit being in the army (not real easy to do these days) and join the Red Cross? He seemed perfectly healthy when we saw him.

Zane in the recent thought balloon does not look like Brad. With the slits for eyes he looks like ToeJam.
Spike
April 17th, 2008 at 11:36 am [Reply]

Lio: One of the few reasons to read the comics. Tatulli rocks!!!

PBS: See above comment, and replace “Pastis” for “Tatulli”.

Crankshaft: Foreshadowing of yet another TB death-happens-so-deal-with-it-! rant?

#126 True Fable: From your mouth to Moy’s and Giella’s ears! I was dumbfounded that MW neglected to at least introduce herself or say something along the lines of, “Boys! Boys!” before the meddling commenced…Tsk! Such bad form!

#176 man behind the curtain: Yeah, it would’ve been great to see those two would-be pugilists with question-mark or exclamation-point thought ballons drawn in those panels.

# 14 bats :[ (as well as # 125 and #140): Please join Messrs. Tatulli and Pastis in the Winners Circle.
PeterBeck
April 17th, 2008 at 3:47 pm [Reply]

A part of me really hopes that some 4channer photoshops the spiderman comic to have on the headlines “Peter Parker Sells MJ’s Soul For Aunt May’s Life”, and the byline is “Witness reported it as ‘It’s magic, we don’t have to explain it!’”.

Hmm…
ConcreteQueen
April 17th, 2008 at 3:53 pm [Reply]

How odd is it that Marvin has exchanged his normal look of bored apathy for one of sheer delight all for an incontinent dog named Dinky. Has he even seen this dog before? Is it a regular character that I just don’t see because my paper doesn’t carry the strip? Somebody enlighten me here.
minor flood
April 17th, 2008 at 6:55 pm [Reply]

I was really expecting the punchline of today’s Blondie to be “But I ate the phone.”

I think when my grandchildren are ironically enjoying Blondie in the not so distant future, every punchline will be “…but I ate it!”
annabananna
April 17th, 2008 at 7:44 pm [Reply]

I always knew Mary Jane’s career was going to be of the “direct to DVD” variety.
Marzipan
April 17th, 2008 at 8:12 pm [Reply]

I like that the Ugly Middle Aged Momma’s Boy in the red shirt has chosen to recreate Steve Martin’s classic arrow-through-the-head sketch. His passive aggressive bitching to Mary aside, that indicates a certain panache I can’t help but admire.
Talking Squirrel
April 17th, 2008 at 8:46 pm [Reply]

BB: Gotta love the first panel … “How’d you like to get your belly rubbed?” In the meantime, in the foreground it looks like the boyz are rubbing something else attached to their bellies. Judging by the coloration, they’ve had their Viagra rings on WAY too long. Get the leeches ready!
NotAGoatHead
April 17th, 2008 at 9:20 pm [Reply]

Urine Soaked Dog Suit was the name of my garage band.
Carly
April 18th, 2008 at 4:50 am [Reply]

“How are you going to kill it” dude looks like he’d be right at home in Mark Trail. And he’s bearded – does that mean he planted the MRSA himself?
Paul1963
April 18th, 2008 at 10:36 am [Reply]

#208 NotAGoatHead: I can just see the flyer:

MARGO BOXCAR PRODUCTIONS/presents/URINE SOAKED DOG SUIT/with/JAYNE MANSFIELD’S HEAD/and/ANDREW RIDGELY/Tue 4/8, Wed 4/9, Thu 4/10/8PM/The HOLE/327 W 15th St

Yes, I’m dissing The Other Guy From Wham!.
LIttle Guy
April 18th, 2008 at 2:50 pm [Reply]

Um, how *are* we going to kill it?
docweasel
September 30th, 2008 at 7:33 am [Reply]

re: #38 Mr. Lemon
she’ll also have to come out as a lesbian, which, since she and “Peter” never seem to have any sex anyway, she may already be.

Which I’m sure he’d be fine with his new role, as her asexual friend.
Peter
November 7th, 2008 at 5:28 am [Reply]

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