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Metapost: Comments of the week … and a handoff to Uncle Lumpy!

Hello, all! Your COTW in a moment, but I just wanted to note that your favorite Uncle Lumpy is taking the reigns of the site starting tomorrow and running through Sunday the 18th. He’ll be nice to you, so be nice to him! I’ll be back with a delayed COTW on Sunday. Till then, here’s the top comment that’ll get you through:

“The knife, placed prominently at the groom’s waist, shrinks in the second vignette. On his wedding day he has been dominated in front of his new bride, and Six Differences has entered strange Freudian territory.” –Dan

And your runners up! Very funny!

“If Heathcliff and Marmaduke fought to the death, who would win? Besides us, I mean.” –[Old Man] Muffaroo

And what about Batman? He’s, like, a bat? Right? Why can’t he fly? And why does Spider-Man wear his webspinners — which oughta be called spinnerets, by the way — on his wrists? Real spiders have ’em at the back of their abdomens, so Spider-Man’s oughta be on his butt, right? And why don’t you carry more Little Lulu comics?” –erdmann

“That Heathcliff cartoon is especially cruel, with the way that woman mentions kissing to the mouthless entity at her side.” –Droopy Says

“You’re a plugger if you have the side effects even though you aren’t taking the drug.” –Matthew

CPR? Wha? We were told that you transplanted the brain of a woman into the body of a kangaroo. CPR? No one sends two television news crews to do a story on goddamn CPR.” –hogenmogen

“No, no, no, Archie is not a rerun; it is just set in 1991. Next Jughead discovers grunge. It’s nostalgia!” –Marco Polo Shirt

“I like the look of admiration the little girl is giving the the cake-taker. ‘My hero!’ she seems to be thinking. ‘Someday, when I’m big and strong, I’ll take the cake! All of it!’” –Nehemiah Scudder

‘You can never have too many friends,’ said the man with none.” –Johnny Knuckles

“Ah-ha, so Evan is a double-crosser! And whatshisface the actor is a smug self-promoting jerk! I’m starting to think the only way you can tell the men in Apartment 3-G apart is by whatever glaring flaw they have that will eventually force the ladies to dump them.” –TheDiva

I must thanks to all who put some cash into my tip jar! And we must give thanks to our advertisers:

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46 responses to “Metapost: Comments of the week … and a handoff to Uncle Lumpy!”

  1. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    November 9th, 2012 at 3:22 pm [Reply]

    Congrats, Float-folk!

    Let the hunt for the liquor-cabinet key begin!

  2. Poteet
    November 9th, 2012 at 3:49 pm [Reply]

    Huzzahs for Dan! More huzzahs for the merry runners-up! And the Poteet asterisk this week goes to TheDiva!

  3. Horace Broon
    November 9th, 2012 at 3:51 pm [Reply]

    Congrats to all!

  4. Uncle Lumpy
    November 9th, 2012 at 3:52 pm [Reply]

    Hmm … “taking the reigns” might be a little grandiose. “Reins” will do!

  5. Poteet
    November 9th, 2012 at 3:55 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#Y128): I’d definitely give you that role, and for some reason, after reading your post, I’m feeling a serious need to see Mr. Craig in action, not having done so before. SKYFALL, here I come. Sometime after you find that key.

  6. Nehemiah Scudder, First Prophet
    November 9th, 2012 at 4:11 pm [Reply]

    Hooray for me! Oh. And for the others, too. Pretty funny, mostly. If you like that kind of thing.

    Drat it all, had I know this was coming, I’d have laid in a supply of Chick Tracts. As it is, all I have handy are these little airline bottles of slivovitz. Here goes! Catch!

    // Careful, don’t drink more than six without eating something!

  7. lynn
    November 9th, 2012 at 4:41 pm [Reply]

    Sigh…oh, Rev. Mistopher Scudder…

  8. Marco Polo Shirt
    November 9th, 2012 at 5:17 pm [Reply]

    I finally made the list. Let’s see, check that off the bucket list.

  9. Shrug, Gabber to Ganja
    November 9th, 2012 at 5:40 pm [Reply]

    Liquor cabinet, hell! There’s a whole mine shaft full of just-harvested pot over at Judge Parker’s place, and it’s got to be used up quickly before the solar panel installation people show up!

    // And congrats to the FloatFolk!

  10. Nehemiah Scudder, First Prophet
    November 9th, 2012 at 5:46 pm [Reply]

    @lynn (#7): I warned you, Ms. Lynn! Slugging down slivovitz on an empty stomach is just asking for trouble.

    // Put a damp cloth on your forehead, and lie down for a bit. You’ll feel better soon.

    // The room really IS spinning. Just normally you don’t notice.

  11. Nehemiah Scudder, First Prophet
    November 9th, 2012 at 5:48 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug, Gabber to Ganja (#9): He’s right! Solar panel installation people are all stoner hippies. They won’t even leave us the stems and seeds!

  12. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    November 9th, 2012 at 6:01 pm [Reply]

    Congrats, float folk!

  13. TheDiva
    November 9th, 2012 at 6:21 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#2): D’awww, thanks! And a visit from Uncle Lumpy-yay! *Kermit arm flail*

  14. Chaze
    November 9th, 2012 at 6:31 pm [Reply]

    Glad to see many mudges who are consistently funny being recognized, at least as runners up.

  15. pastordan, lazy professor
    November 9th, 2012 at 6:37 pm [Reply]

    Over here you’ve got your slivovitz.

    And over there you’ve got your ganja.

    And over there you’ve got you floaters (congrats be upon them), unsupervised.

    [blink blink]

    Did you know both “slivovitz” and “ganja” are in my browser’s dictionary?

  16. Roto13
    November 9th, 2012 at 7:27 pm [Reply]

    Someone send that Pluggers comic in and see if it makes it into the strip. I’d do it but I live in 2012 and I don’t send snail mail without a damn good reason.

  17. Roto13
    November 9th, 2012 at 7:28 pm [Reply]

    Someone send that Pluggers comment in and see if it makes it into the strip. I’d do it but I live in 2012 and I don’t send snail mail without a damn good reason.

    Yeah, that’s right, I’m double posting in lieu of an edit button.

  18. seismic-2
    November 9th, 2012 at 7:50 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug, Gabber to Ganja (#9): While Avery and Bubba are swapping photos of trout, Sam is loading up the Road Queen with freshly harvested weed and heading toward Colorado, to have the market covered when legalization goes into effect. All in a day’s work indolence. As usual, the Parker-Spencer-Driver fortune will have increased by more than a typical ‘Mudge’s lifetime income, since the start of this post.

  19. Poteet
    November 9th, 2012 at 7:58 pm [Reply]

    Thanks for the slidovish. Slivodish. Whatever.

  20. Gal Friday
    November 9th, 2012 at 8:21 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#4):

    Oh, just take the reins of your reign!

  21. Artist formerly known as Ben
    November 9th, 2012 at 9:18 pm [Reply]

    Hearty congratulations to Dan et al. It’s a mighty fine float.

  22. Sequitur
    November 9th, 2012 at 9:38 pm [Reply]

    As my wife and I pack for our week-long vacation, I mention to her, “Hey, Josh is taking a vacation the same time we are!”

    To which she replies, “Oh, no. Don’t tell me you’re Josh!”

    No. But I play him on TeeVee.

    Congrats to those who float and the one who lead them.

  23. Droopy Says
    November 9th, 2012 at 9:52 pm [Reply]

    I made the float again? Chocolate chip cookies all around! And this time I used the right amount of flour.

    Pluggers: If Pluggers got any lazier, they wouldn’t submit ideas and Brookins would have to become a self-starter. Pluggers contribute to laziness in the easiest way possible.

  24. Sequitur
    November 9th, 2012 at 10:04 pm [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#23): Wait! Those weren’t chocolate chips either!

    You can’t fool me with carob.

  25. Austria
    November 9th, 2012 at 10:20 pm [Reply]

    I’m just now catching up on today’s comics (so busy!) and holy crap, the smugness emanating off the last panel of Funky Winkerbean is just suffocating. FOREVER INFANTILIZED BY HIDEBOUND LITERALISTS. Man, that just kicks the CRAP outta McEldowney or whatever his name is. Can we get that on a T-shirt?

  26. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    November 9th, 2012 at 10:26 pm [Reply]

    Hey, gang. Still on hiatus here, but Josh’s twitter feed said COTWs were up, so I had to go look. Well, ShaZAM! Thanks, Josh!

    Josh?

    Oh, he’s gone. Well, anyway, I’d just like to say thanks to all the little people who whisper to me in the night when I’m trying to sleep. You’re starting to make sense, guys!

    I’ll be partly back next week, after I get this paper in. Unless this one author wants me to do that ebook conversion right away. Tomorrow’s our first two shows! (The Sound of Music, Pittsford Musicals) Wife and daughter will be at the opening matinee, and after that I’ll keep on doing my part (Franz the Butler) from force of habit. Six shows over two weekends. And after that, I’ll be running around with feelings of vague anxiety and thinking I’m supposed to show up somewhere and get a costume fitted or a mike hung on my ear for a while.

  27. Poteet
    November 9th, 2012 at 10:34 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#24): Have a nice vacation! And yeah, carob is not chocolate. I wish.

  28. Sequitur
    November 9th, 2012 at 10:40 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#27): Thanks, Poteet. I was going to go to Iowa but they wouldn’t let me in. Something about needing a passport.

  29. A Smirch Unheeded, Deacon
    November 9th, 2012 at 10:54 pm [Reply]

    @pastordan, lazy professor (#15):Ganja is a gateway drug to slivovitz!

  30. Alice
    November 9th, 2012 at 11:02 pm [Reply]

    @Austria (#25): Someone needs to make a FOREVER INFANTILIZED rage face to go with said T-shirt caption.

  31. Anonymous
    November 9th, 2012 at 11:08 pm [Reply]

    Oh, and by the way? Tarantulas have their spinnerets on their limbs.

    And if you haven’t seen the photos of newly discovered tarantula species, just do a quick google search – they’re really cool.

  32. pastordan, lazy professor
    November 9th, 2012 at 11:08 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#28): You could always come to Wisconsin. No need for a passport, just bring some beer.

  33. pastordan, lazy professor
    November 9th, 2012 at 11:08 pm [Reply]

    @A Smirch Unheeded, Deacon (#29): Sadly, that’s probably true.

  34. Sequitur
    November 9th, 2012 at 11:11 pm [Reply]

  35. Sequitur
    November 9th, 2012 at 11:12 pm [Reply]

    @pastordan, lazy professor (#32): Passport, no. Beer I got. Ya’ll got any cheese?

  36. Mibbitmaker
    November 10th, 2012 at 12:30 am [Reply]

    Okay, it’s Friday, when I have to do a few erands, and… parody Jimmy Fallon’s
    Thank You Notes

    LaBamba: “In the year two thou-saaaaaand…

    No, you idiot — THANK YOU NOTES!

    (the Roots’ keyboard player silently snickers at LaBamba, plays TYN music)

    Thank you… Tom Batiuk, for you comics lesson, making points I’d make, and still causing me to disagree with you.

    Thank You… Mary Worth, for showing how a young girl can open up her options in romance after fretting too much for an old boyfriend… by stringing along a controlling would-be boyfriend with sister issues.

    Thank you… Spider-Man, for showing us a villain being praised for being brave… whose name is Kraven. Maybe Kraven should be Spider-Man’s name instead.

    Thank you… 9CL sex-starved classical music. Otherwise known as rock ‘n’ roll for pretentious perverts.

    Thank you… Danny DeVito, for guesting in the current storyline of Judge Parker… probably without your permission or knowlege. I’d stay ignorant of this bit of information if I were you.

    Thank you… Darkgate Comic Slurper, for keeping us from not seeing the bottom half of Margo Magee… by not showing us the bottom half of Fleischer-era Popeye the Sailor.

    Thank you… Bubba, for being able to negotiate with a Hollywood shark and smash a camera with a sledgehammer, all while apparently having drunken too much grape juice!

    Thank you… Mark Trail, for continually keeping the way too archaic name Otto in play in your strip, so it cannot be forgotten for how odd a first name it is. Sergeant Snorkel’s dog salutes you!

    This is the final Thank You Note….

    Thank you… Heathcliff, or as it’s also known: if Marmaduke and Garfield had a baby!
    That’s the Thank You Notes parody for tonight! Stay tuned for… more… Comics… Curmudgeon!!!

  37. Droopy Says
    November 10th, 2012 at 12:34 am [Reply]

    Spiderbland: A circus, a stampeding elephant, a weirdo in an eye-hurting costume–are we sure they didn’t parole Clown-9 by mistake?

    Flunky Whatsawhosis: History does not repeat itself. It hits you over the head and says “Why didn’t you listen the first time?” Just as it should hit Batiuk over the head for repeating that joke.

    Jugs Parker: Oh, another crisis! Bea is angry at Avery! Give it five panels and all will be well, aside from widespread nausea.

    Phantom: Kit, the Llongo elders aren’t trying to hold the modern world at bay. They’re just trying to leverage a better bargaining position.

    Family Circus: Of course it’s yours, Billy. It’s got your waist size and IQ on it, doesn’t it?

    Pluggers: Pushing a heavy handcart over soft ground? Pluggers get their exercise by being too dumb to do things the right way.

    Mark Trail: Got it. Star Wars III: Revenge of the Stiff. Doc somehow slips into the role of his evil twin Pops, unnoticed, the same way Chancellor Palpatine could sneak halfway across the galaxy, unnoticed by his staff and bodyguard, to be the evil Sith overlord. It will only get worse when JarJar Rusty shows up.

  38. Catastrophe Kitten
    November 10th, 2012 at 1:36 am [Reply]

    I’m getting spam-tagged so can’t post the link, but google “The Horrible Truth about Spider-Man’s Anatomy.” You’re looking for Bug Girl’s blog (an entomology graduate student).

    But I warn you: it’s a horrible, horrible truth, and you can’t un-read it.
    (Peter Parker, how could you?!)

  39. Uncle Lumpy
    November 10th, 2012 at 1:44 am [Reply]

    @Catastrophe Kitten (#38):

    Hey, CK, I’ve whitelisted your IP address — try again. If you still get spamtagged, let me know at uncle.lumpy@comcast.net and I’ll do what I can to fix it.

  40. Laura
    November 10th, 2012 at 9:39 am [Reply]

    Hey Josh — enjoy tour trip, but…

    …Seriously, dude? You’re going to spend your blog space plugging the kind of jingoistic, islamophobic BS this book represents? I know, “Money has no smell,” and any sponsorship is good sponsorship when one is self-employed, but I would have thought you might be a little more discriminating in the kinds of advertisements you accept on this blog. I’m sorry to see that things are so hard up for you right now.

  41. pastordan, lazy professor
    November 10th, 2012 at 11:08 am [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#35): “Do we have any cheese,” he asks. Does this look like some kind of non-cheese-having state here? I mean, really. Do we look like Florida?

  42. bluepencil
    November 10th, 2012 at 2:41 pm [Reply]

    MW: So Wilbur and Dawn are headed out for a postprandial walk — down by the pier, perhaps? (cue threatening music: dunh dunh DUNHHHHHHHHHH)

  43. bluepencil
    November 10th, 2012 at 2:51 pm [Reply]

    oops re #42, posted in wrong thread.

  44. pletchericl
    August 24th, 2013 at 9:57 pm [Reply]

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