The oddly-drawn girls of summer
Gil Thorp, 4/24/08
We all knew that the new Gil Thorp artist would face his first really tough test when forced to draw three disconnected panels of insane sports action, and I’m proud to say that he’s passed with flying colors. In panel one, power pitcher Lisa Wyche rotates her arm 360 degrees in its socket to deliver a throw behind the batter’s back to her catcher, six feet away; in panel two, Branden’s double is only a fraction of a second away from shattering the left fielder’s eye socket; and in panel three, Branden combines a slide with a ballerina’s split in an attempt to avoid a vicious karate chop from the third basewoman. All in all, it’s quite a respectable outing for fans of deranged softball-like hallucinations, which I trust all of you are.
Family Circus, 4/24/08
“Also, powerful forces beyond your control will use you for their own ends, constantly rubbing you down until you’re a worn-out nub, and then will throw you in the trash. So, what I’m trying to say is, somebody go get grandma some more gin.”
Alfred E. Neuman
April 24th, 2008 at 1:28 am
GT— It must be easy to beat a team that has left-handed batters that stand on the wrong side of the plate in apparent expectation of a pitch from third base.
Different Dan
April 24th, 2008 at 1:28 am
The Binghamton Patriots? I’m in Binghamton (SUNY, that is). It’s bad enough that Johnny Hart lived in Endicott and we’ve got B.C. cavemen decorating the buses.
Zaq
April 24th, 2008 at 1:41 am
In today’s GT, I love the weird death-mask in panel 3, the fact that the ball in panel 2 seems to be rising straight up perpendicular to the earth, and the distinctive Chief Wigham ass-cam in panel 1. I’m really liking Chief Wigham a lot.
AlphabetFish
April 24th, 2008 at 1:43 am
I’m pretty sure Dolly is eating her crayon.
Augustus Mulliner
April 24th, 2008 at 1:44 am
Uh, not so much the left fielder in panel 2; looks like the third baseman (note the base in the lower left corner) diving vainly for the ball. Assuming it was viciously tagged, the third sacker has somehow overshot the ball, demonstrating supernatural reflexes. Or massive game preparation involving greenies. Let’s have that Binghamton belle tinkle in a cup!
Panel 3 could also be the rarely seen (for good reason) pop-up slide into home. Then again, home plate also appears to be jutting a couple of inches higher from the ground than you’d like if you were planning a hook slide. Of course, that would give the new artist the opportunity to display mastery of anatomical drawing, what with a mangled leg and all. The anticipation is irresistible.
Diamond Joe
April 24th, 2008 at 1:46 am
Agnes: Now that several Mudgeons have politely informed me that Agnes’ home is, indeed, put together with rivets, I can focus on the more important aspects of this strip, like… uh… hmm. But I kid Agnes. It was actually pretty funny today.
A3-G: In the second panel, looks like Lu Ann has gone off to her happy place. I wonder if that happened before or after Casey Kasem, there, turned away from her.
Archie: In this age of ubiquitous cross-marketing, it might have been funnier and more in character for Jughead to say, “I preferred the tie-in breakfast cereal.”
Baldo: “…doesn’t care at all about its students,” I could buy him actually saying. “…the health of its students,” on the other hand, goes too far in trying to set up the switcheroo punchline.
Cathy: Wait, the whole point of this strip for the past week and a half has been that Cathy and Irving are both inveterate spenders. So which one is being realistic? And why did the financial planner bring it up in the first place?
Crankshaft: Man, I hope this series with the senile old bat just goes on forever. Don’t you?
DT: A crossbow fires a bolt, dolt. And incidentally, has anyone considered the possibility of, oh, I dunno, maybe helping him?
DineS: I’ll give it to Male Pattern Baldness Guy, you have to be pretty limber to turn your head around 165 degrees.
Drabble: Let’s all get together and buy Kevin Fagan a new reaction expression. This one’s getting pretty threadbare after 29 years.
Foob: So, this week’s sermon from Mount Foob: specific career trajectory + not being in school = follower; aimless drifting + college = leader. Thanks, Lynn.
FC: “But what if I want to think outside the box?”
GT: If Lisa is pitching overhand, I don’t get the motion lines near the hand. Are they showing where it’s about to go? And if she’s pitching underhand, her hand’s the wrong way around.
HtH: Double double double your anachronisms at Hagar’s and save! Yes, it’s the Viking with the gender roles stuck circa 1955!
H&L: Speaking of anachronisms, we see here that the only way Hi & Lois can feature current trends in teenage fashion is by accident.
JP: “I can think of much better things to do while you’re keeping off your feet.” Chick-a-bow-wow, chick-a-bow-wow! (Incidentally, has anyone thought of crutches, maybe?)
Lola: Why not just “They don’t have pop-up ads”? As it is, it suggests that newspapers do have pop-up ads, but they’re easy to defeat.
MF: 1) Thank goodness Tinsley had the bulb announce what it is, because it looks more like a stack of melted condoms than it does like any compact fluorescent bulb produced on Earth. 2) And it always goes without saying, you want to use websites with specific political agendas as your authorities on issues they cover. Surely they would never lead you astray.
NS: Two comics in one day featuring Superman? Is this just an odd coincidence?
Pluggers: Looks like it’s a #1 day, with undertones of #6. (Thanks to Spider-Brick for the labor saving device.)
PC: At the risk of being sent to the Cockpit, it amazes me that “lockbox” has apparently become another “Al Gore is nuts” meme. If you can recall the 2000 election, Gore spoke of the need for a “lockbox” to keep Congress from spending the Social Security surplus. Bush claimed that was nonsense. Then, as soon as he took office, he and Congress spent the Social Security surplus, then went around screaming, “The trust fund contains nothing but IOUs! You’ll never get paid! We have to privatize Social Security! Booga-booga!”
RwO: I’m getting perspective vertigo.
SS: I don’t wear glasses, but don’t binoculars work better if you take them off?
S-M: Learn prison security from Michael Clarke Duncan! When you don’t know what’s going on inside a prison cell, the very first thing you should do is open the door.
Sylvia: Cats who levitate! On the next Sylvia!
AS: Ah, back to unnecessary captions. I feel more secure now. Incidentally, 666 would be across the street.
The BM of Edison Lee: Why is Edison reassuring his dad by grabbing his shirt front?
And I’m going to have to hope the rest of the comics had nothing snarkable in them, because the Chronicle’s site has done locked up on me.
actually amused me: Agnes, Bizarro (ironically, featuring Superman)
True Fable
April 24th, 2008 at 1:52 am
A3G What I wouldn’t give, for this guy to tell Margo “Work for him? Why, I was once MARRIED to Eric!”
BB The Walkers are running on fumes.
Cathy (Must Die!) Wow, this strip has a number of Standard Cathy Shit – a double pointy fingers, a pair of featured guest pointy fingers, a Starburst Wonder panel, a double double sweat drops PLUS a double Burrrrn. Too bad no new ground was covered.
C’haft Ah ha ha, old people forget to pay their bills and stuff.
(WT)DT Robin Hood, William Tell, Kagome Higurashi, Cupid – what’s it to ya, Dick? Did YOU want to shoot him that badly?
FC “Gramma! Jeffy mixed Virginal White with Red Light District Red, and it’s not exactly Blushing Pink now.”
FBoFW “So I guess I’ll, like, try to write teenage dialog an’ see if I hafta rethink my whole, like, approach to this dying strip an’ all.”
FW Please, Batiuk: just kill Funky off already. This is just too depressing. I know that is your stock in trade but holy shit, man.
(WTF)GT Yep, this is Gil Thorp, all right. I can’t tell one character from the other, not that I care.
JP Because you just can’t spend enough time on side stories instead of the main plot.
Luann You know, I’m beginning to believe that maybe Evans really IS going to reveal that Bernice is jealous of Gunther and Luann because she wants Luann for herself.
MW She only fears The Meddling One. Be Very Afraid.
MC Awww, I would have thought Norm would be nice to the kid. Well, I guess a warning is kind of nice. Kind of.
RMDS What’s this “we” shit, Andy? Rex didn’t help you in the least with that torch and pitchfork crowd.
S-M This is just dumb. Dumbity dumb dumb.
Tats
April 24th, 2008 at 2:03 am
To #201, Eric Wright, a couple of threads back — props for the excellent html storyline generator! I’ll be sure to put it to good use.
Mibbitmaker
April 24th, 2008 at 2:28 am
Help!! I’m instantly stranded on yesterthread, comment #12!! Please send readers, or else a list of comics snark will be lost!! Mayday (Well, Aprilday)!! S.O.S.!! This is a double exclamation point emergency, people!!
It’s a good thing this FC comment stuck around. At least I know somebody survived (Just to be safe, be on the lookout for surprise Metaposts, just in case).
FC: Alternate grandma continuation: “…Now, if only that bitch Hillary Clinton would just jump outta the box and roll away, we can get this metaphor in the White House!”
Dolly & Jeffy: “???”
Mr. O'Malley
April 24th, 2008 at 2:29 am
Re: teenage girl dialog
The Sydney Morning Herald offers this reader-submitted gem:
“I, like, so like don’t like him”
Alfred E. Neuman
April 24th, 2008 at 2:36 am
Crankshaft— We need to start a pool on how many more times we get a variation of the same “joke”. Joke #1 (April 19) “Why would I keep the batteries when I’d thrown the hearing aids away?” Joke #2 (April 24) “Why should I pay the cable bills when the cable isn’t working?”
Anyone want to guess what the next variation on jokes #1 and #2 will be? For example: Joke #3 “Why should I be nice to people since everyone avoids me?”
Luann— Ahhh, my sweet little princess of darkness, the delectably perverse ravenously incestuous bisexual harridan Bernice is in full flower today. Her panel 2 comment is actually pretty funny. She always livens the interminably dull presentations of Luann’s love life. If only Luann would direct some of her libido in Bernice’s direction, Luann’s love life would become a lot more exciting, and I know we’d all like to see that happen.
athena
April 24th, 2008 at 2:50 am
re Mary Worth: “When we fight it takes our minds of the thought of losing her.” What about reading a good book or launching a blog?
I’m sorry, but when my mom was dying and my sister and I fought, it was because we couldn’t agree on who was going to be the one to tell her that her tumor was terminal. And the rest of the time when we fight it’s just because we’re siblings, therefore we fight.
as for Funky Winkerbean: What the hell happened to Batiuk that he has become so self-loathing/loathing of his epnymous character? Or what the hell happened to Funky within the confines of the strip to transform him from a semi-doofus (whom I must admit I had a crush on, insofar as a human can have a crush on a comic-strip character) to a maelstrom of anger and bitterness? It’s turning me into a maestrom of anger and bitterness.
Arglebargle
April 24th, 2008 at 2:58 am
Luann: FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!
Sherman’s Lagoon: I can’t believe how much this is freaking me out.
Sally Forth: Probably because there’s no strong male presence in the household, Ted.
Non Sequitur and Bizarro: Heh. Another weird subject-matter coincidence. Too bad neither one’s particularly funny.
Mallard Fillmore: Write less witless pedantic blather, and learn to draw something right. You do a comic strip for heaven’s sake. If nothing else, you used to be moderately talented on the art side. Caricatures of political figures, dogs, pencils, chins…you can’t draw any of those things worth a damn. Add light bulbs to that list. It’s just sick.
Mutts:
…Especially when that rattlesnake nails your snout and you die writhing in pain.
–Arglebargle
Jack Parsons
April 24th, 2008 at 2:58 am
“Crayons can teach us a good lesson: if a crayon doesn’t point in the right direction, it won’t fit in and will get left behind.”
mollificent
April 24th, 2008 at 3:10 am
GA: I must admit, I would love to have “Orange Blossom Special” played at my wedding. :)
My Cage: Heh heh…this is particularly funny because I just finished watching “Office Space”.
HtH: *tries to picture Helga answering the door wearing nothing but a smile and a dry martini, and recoils in horror*
9CL: Help me out here. Is “Pride and Prejudice” some kind of board/parlor game I’m not aware of, or are Seth and Mark just going to pop in the DVD? And if so, why do they insist on phrasing it like they’re inviting Edda to watch them engage in some kind of kinky Edwardian sex play? And finally, the most burning question of all: is it the Colin Firth version or the Kiera Knightley version? Inquiring minds want to know!
P.S. Happy birthday to me! :D
Mr. Nice Guy
April 24th, 2008 at 3:13 am
“Crayons of many colors can be crammed together like sardines in flimsy little cardboard boxes, and there are wonderful career opportunities in urban planning.”
Zylph
April 24th, 2008 at 3:23 am
“Overpowering Binghamton”? I’m sorry, but that’s kinda like saying “Outrunning a quadriplegic.” Or “Overpowering Binghamton.”
Oops, that was the original quote. Maybe I just have a stunning lack of imagination, but “Outrunning a quadriplegic” is as close as I can get to how much Binghamton sucks. In everything. Forever.
But, hey, at least it’s not Utica. Right?
Mr. O\'Malley
April 24th, 2008 at 3:29 am
17. Zylph. Utica once had the singing “Utica Club” beer steins, and I don’t remember Binghamton ever coming up with anything comparable.
Canaduck
April 24th, 2008 at 3:33 am
“Some crayons are more popular and will be fought over and used up quickly like a cheap whore, while other crayons are not useful to the majority of society and will languish alone in dark corners. What I’m trying to say, kids, is that we’re all screwed in one way or another. Enjoy your coloring books.”
Zylph
April 24th, 2008 at 3:39 am
Beer steins aside, if there is a God, I’m pretty sure that Hell was invented for the people who dared to utter the word ‘Utica.’ The people who live there…. I don’t even want to begin to start thinking about imagining.
Mr. O'Malley
April 24th, 2008 at 3:43 am
I wish someone would do something about those intrusive back slashes!
Anyway, I did some research…
Utica Club commercial. I believe the voices were done by Jonathan Winters.
Kibo
April 24th, 2008 at 4:06 am
I heartily endorse the cameo by Master Chief as the catcher in the first panel of “Gil Thorp”. I just hope that’s a baseball and not a sticky grenade.
gleeb
April 24th, 2008 at 5:41 am
Archie: Who is Archie shouting his reactions to?
Beetle: Besides a lame bubble-gum gag, today also features a grotesquely-overgrown Brig. Halftrack, possibly due to radiation. He’s already nearly as tall as a water tower, and still growing!
Dick: Tracy’s bloodlust has gone unabated. He’ll be really tough to live with now.
Fuzzy: Conley phones in another one. Look, I read FBoFW and Fred Bassett. I know that foreigners aren’t funny just by being foreign.
Marvin: What keeps Marvin from realizing that this schedule is exactly what his grandfather was aiming for, to minimize exposure to the little diaper-stainer?
Rod
April 24th, 2008 at 5:48 am
And remember, Dolly, you have to use at least one of each different “flesh-colored” crayon when you’re coloring people… or those politically-correct busybodies at the senior center will call you a racist. And now… sigh… grandma’s out of gin. Where’s the scotch?
Rocketboy
April 24th, 2008 at 5:51 am
FC.. Unless your name is something like Indian Summer or Flesh, and YOUR BANNED YOU RACIST! Now where’s my gin.
Dub Not Dubya
April 24th, 2008 at 5:51 am
Happy birthday to the magnificent mollificent!
I forgot to post the other day that Tom the Dancing Bug had another Super Fun Pak Comix in the most recent strip. Most of it is pretty meh, but I loved his take on the Lockhorns, and the Sunday Mark Trail homage:
http://www.gocomics.com/tomthedancingbug/2008/04/19/
Pozzo
April 24th, 2008 at 5:55 am
I read the panel two caption in GT as “…Branden Zollar slices a double toilet,” which makes the strip even more surreal.
Dub Not Dubya
April 24th, 2008 at 5:58 am
Oh, and while I’m here, off-topic, but since many of us like to play online game (Squack!), here’s a link I just found out about yesterday:
http://www.gamingforcharity.org/index.php
You can play many common Flash games, and the proceeds from the ads on the site go to charities. If I’m going to waste hours of my life anyway, I might as well do a little good in the process, right?
Ham Gravy
April 24th, 2008 at 5:58 am
Judge Parker: Yes, Marie, get some sun! Abbey, you need some sun too! C’mon, we deserve a week of Marie and Abbey sunbathing!
One-eyed Wolfdog
April 24th, 2008 at 5:58 am
“They’re different colors, have strange names, melt into dull waxy puddles like our once-bright hopes and dreams, and just a li-i-i-i-i-ttle well-applied pressure makes ‘em SNAP TO LITTLE PIECES I’m sorry children what was I saying?”
Eau de Plugger
April 24th, 2008 at 6:06 am
I will point out that SUNY-Binghamton’s sports teams used to be called the Colonials, so perhaps this is a Gil Thorp shout out to another pathetic sports program (circa 1992). At the basketball games, we inexplicably had a guy in a chicken outfit. We called him the Colonial Chicken! Binghamton’s college sports were Milford.
Now that they’ve moved up to Div I, they’re the Bearcats, which is so effed up it’s kinda awesome. Binghamton finally got a football team as well…or so my alumni bulletins tell me.
Colonial Chicken FOREVER!!!! And Wild Pizza…um…no.
lostsynapse
April 24th, 2008 at 6:10 am
Blondie: We have meet the enemy and its name is turmeric.
Lolsworth
April 24th, 2008 at 6:10 am
One of these days the Keane kids are just going to flip out and whack grandma if she doesn’t shut the fuck up with her homespun wisdom and her metaphors and her smelling faintly of gin, lavender and custard cream biscuits.
Sheilagh
April 24th, 2008 at 6:14 am
Speaking of bad drawing, how about that last panel in today’s Spider-Man? I had a helluva time identifying the owner of two extraneous miniature legs.
FC, ugh, that sound you hear is a nation of readers gagging. What a contrived and bogus “lesson” — hey, wow, inanimate objects don’t fight, isn’t that amazing? Stuff it, Grandma.
Can’t wait to learn what Curtis has been “dealing”. I hope it’s crack, but I’m sure it’s not.
Little Guy
April 24th, 2008 at 6:27 am
OT: Binghamton talk makes me all Mister Tony fuzzy inside.
Josh on FC: That’s COTW. Hands down.
Phantom: No, that was the Unknown Comic. He’s gone mercenary.
Calico
April 24th, 2008 at 6:28 am
JP – How the hell is Marie getting up the front steps? Is Abbey making her hop on one foot?
FC – are any of those crayons Christian Crayons?
I think it’s time for some Aricept® for Grandma.
3G – “Eric is a total dick, but I owe everything I am to him.” You must have some weird-ass looking résumé, dude.
Calico
April 24th, 2008 at 6:30 am
Comics Curmudgeon Smackdown –
Mary Worth vs. Grandma Keane
or possibly Diane Wilkins vs. Margo Magee
Hawkeye
April 24th, 2008 at 6:31 am
FC: That only lasts until Burnt Sienna tries running for president, and white and peach accuse him of being a Muslim.
Francis
April 24th, 2008 at 6:41 am
The batter that Lisa Wyche is pitching to isn’t facing the wrong way — it’s even better than that. She has kept her bat at shoulder height for the entire swing. Way to give ammunition to opponents of Title 9, Binghamton.
ladadog
April 24th, 2008 at 6:44 am
MW: Wait a minute, I thought the Vera/Dr. Drew story line had ended two months ago. In the Mary Worth space-time lack of continuum, they are still in the coffee shop sitting in front of the case of donuts. And Vera has aged into a Mary Worth-lookalike. I must need more sleep or else I am still sleeping and this is just a bizarro-world nightmare.
LTBF
April 24th, 2008 at 6:49 am
Foob…Anyone notice Eva and April swapped places between panels three and four?
LITTLE A. OF THE GRAND CONCOURSE JUNGLE PATROL
April 24th, 2008 at 6:55 am
Marvin: The drawing “style” seems different (I am not saying better). Is there another “artist” at work today? Or am I imagining things?
Never teh Bride
April 24th, 2008 at 7:00 am
I just wanted to stop in an’ say, “EXCITING HUM!”
Little Guy
April 24th, 2008 at 7:06 am
GA: “Freebird”! Play “Freebird”!
37: Diane WIlkins vs Dr Julii Burbur.
Krazy Kat
April 24th, 2008 at 7:13 am
Family Circus is preparing us for our impending deportation to the camps.
Stephanie
April 24th, 2008 at 7:17 am
Okay, I’m sorry, but WTF is up with Bernice in Luann?? I always knew she was a narcissistic bitch, but good lord, every word that sputters out of her constantly down-turned mouth is dripping with sarcasm and snarky one-liners. I kind of hope this degenerates into some sort of cat fight.
She reminds me of the angry, ugly band nerd who hasn’t figured out how to do her hair or wear her clothes right. But I think its safe to say that if I had a friend like that in high school, I’d have torn her eyes out with my freakish PMS hormones, then slept with her boyfriend for good measure.
rhymes with puck
April 24th, 2008 at 7:19 am
FC: There are different-colored people in the Family Circus universe?!?!?! Who knew?
MW: mmmm, more doughnuts in odd positions!
Curtis: Ah, it’s so sweet the way Curtis’ father lives in mortal fear of his wife…
Whippersnapper
April 24th, 2008 at 7:24 am
FW: I gotta agree with Funky on this one. Therapy is for people who are unhappy or seeking change. Funky is quite content with the total asshole he’s become.
Luprand
April 24th, 2008 at 7:30 am
Sadly, we all know what Curtis has been dealing: junk food. It’s been kinda telegraphed from the beginning.
He’s so wired up on high-fructose corn syrup that you can see him having a freak-out during the Earth Day strip.
Carly
April 24th, 2008 at 7:31 am
I am not the greatest artist in the world (far from it) and my art is still more coherent and less loltastic than the current GT artist. There seems to be distinct confusion over spatial relationships going on here. Or else the writer has finally found an artist who is equally high.
bk
April 24th, 2008 at 7:33 am
FC: The crayons will teach us a lesson: Nearly every color will be used and driven down until it is pitiful and useless. Every color except for white. That color usually has all the work done for it already.
Carly
April 24th, 2008 at 7:33 am
Oh, and today’s F-Minus: Tony Carillo pays a visit to some Pluggers. “Pluggers like their guns to be approximately the size and shape of coffins.”
Jean
April 24th, 2008 at 7:42 am
Oh, gawd, “The Family Circus,” and its pat homilies. The cloying “messages” were obvious to my daughter when she was only six or seven. “Nobody is THAT nice,” she said.
Tweeks_Coffee
April 24th, 2008 at 7:51 am
Irrational Princess: Now that name seems familiar, I suppose welcomes are in order.
A3G: But…but he already did miss one, didn’t he? I mean, hasn’t Luann’s show already been on for at least one night? That mannequin in the last panel is a pretty good replacement for Luann.
Archie: *psst* Fourth wall, Archie, don’t break it. See, that’s it right behind you in the last panel, please step back.
BC: So they’re just constantly sitting there grinning stupidly at these women? Sounds kinda creepy to me.
DT: “Well, you can tell by the way I use my walk, I’m a woman’s man, no time to talk. Ah, ah, ah, ah, stayin’ alive, stayin’ alive….” …Oh wait, never mind.
F-: Go on…
GT: Well that second panel is more than a little confusing. Weren’t these names spelled differently before?
MF: Obviously Tinsley has never actually seen a compact flourescent bulb before.
MT: At one of the neighbors? AT ONE OF THE NEIGHBORS!? Yeah, that must be it. The puppy is just visiting with the neighbors. Maybe sipping some coffee and talking about Mr. Roberts down the road. Idiot.
Marvin: Okay, I thought it was just a fluke yesterday, but did they get a new artist? Marvin’s normal bug eyes have been replaced by heavy-lidded stoner eyes.
MC: All he’s missing is a cigarette and maybe some liquor to really complete the scene.
SFx: Way to point out the “X” once you’re already there, Max. See, this is why you’re the sidekick and not the detective.
tAS: No, no no. The neighbor of The Beast would be 664 or 668. 667 would be across the street.
Cheeky Wee Monkeys
April 24th, 2008 at 7:52 am
Crayons also melt if you put them on the heater.
It’s fun to tear their “clothes” (paper) off.
They break easily.
Calico
April 24th, 2008 at 7:54 am
#41 – They must be playing musical skirts. Hop along, girls, hop along.
#38 – What about the forest green crayon? Is he still in the race? And did he accuse Burnt Sienna of the same thing?
One-eyed Wolfdog
April 24th, 2008 at 7:58 am
In the murky mess of dislikeable things about Buckles, his romance with the fire hydrant (you hopefully don’t read Buckles often enough to know, but it’s a persistent gag and I do use the word quite rightly) certainly floats up near the disgusting top of the pool. Does he think the fire hydrant is sexy? Does he want to get it on with the fire hydrant? Is the message here that taking a leak on someone is the foundation for a romantic relationship? It’s really brain-hurting and soul-tarnishing any way you approach it, which really I guess just advises against approaching it at all. Go the other way. Rapidly.
McManx
April 24th, 2008 at 7:58 am
FC — “And as long as those crayons stay in their own box and don’t move into our box, we can get along with them too. But if either one of you ever, ever get married to one of those crayons, Gramma will disown you!” — Ah, the irony of an all-white comic dishing out diversity metaphors.
Calico
April 24th, 2008 at 8:01 am
#57 – Buckles is into water sports.
And BTW, I think the thing is named Irene.
(Shudders with the fact that I know this)
Deana
April 24th, 2008 at 8:03 am
I’m worried that today’s Sherman’s Lagoon is going to have the opposite of the intended effect. The strip has been trying to make an environmental message against the practice of catching sharks, cutting off their fins, and then dumping them back in the water, but today they give out a real e-mail address of a company that sells dried shark fins.
I’m certainly against the practice, but I went to the website and found myself thinking, wow, they have interesting stuff…
Sigh.
Harpa
April 24th, 2008 at 8:20 am
Please, can we have a no-snark policy for Mallard Fillmore? Every time someone does comment on MF, I have to read the strip to understand the comment and I always regret it afterwards…
Hawkeye
April 24th, 2008 at 8:24 am
56-Calico: Sorry, but just because there’s 64 colors doesn’t mean there’s room for a third party. Especially not for a hippie crayon.
Artist formerly known as Ben
April 24th, 2008 at 8:32 am
FC: Yeah, lessons in diversity from the Keanes, that’ll fly. Once, maybe twice a year you’ll see someone colored slightly darker than peach yogurt.
H&L: Ditto is reading Zap Comics? Well I’m sure that Mr Natural will make quite an impression on him. How much did that go for on eBay?
Phantom: Tomorrow, Chazz Palminteri drops his coffee cup from three different angles.
JP: Marie’s going to read That New Novel Everyone is Talking About. She borrowed it from Jamaal.
Archie: I’d like to see the fourth panel where Betty shouts, “Hey Andrews! Who the hell you talkin’ at?”
PBS: I could quibble about the misuse of the term “mind control” but this is still funny.
DtM: Dennis could help his reputation here by saying something along the lines of “Cease your prattle, old woman,” and wrestling the remote out of George’s hand.
MT: “You don’t know me, but you’ve read my narration. I”m Exposition Owl, and I know many things. How many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop is not among them.”
DT: Martin Fry broke in and shot that poison arrow through his heaaaaaart.
Baldo: Relax, guys. This just gives you an opportunity to make some money the Curtis way.
MW: Everyone except for Self-Aware Douchebag Brother 1 is wearing scrubs in this scene. Aptly enough there’s a background cameo by a badly aged Zach Braff.
H&J: Eula is providing precise and helpful navigation while Herb drives. Does her evil know no bounds?
GA: That’s a pretty nice suit for a man who was sleeping under a bridge this morning.
Garfield: Garfield still has claws? Seems kind of out of character.
OBH: James gets his image of toughness from Arsenio Hall. This confrontation was always going to go badly.
JoJo Birrell
April 24th, 2008 at 8:35 am
Augustus (#5) has it right — that’s clearly the thirdbasewoman in panel two. I can only assume it’s easier to make it clear it’s softball by including a base and baseline, so the artist went with the early part of the double, rather than the “ball rolling to the wall in left field” latter portion. In panel one, many elite softball pitchers end up with the back of their hand facing the plate temporarily after violently releasing the ball, so I can only assume the artist accidentally got that right. It also appears, by virtue of the use of motion lines, that the batter actually swung and missed so badly that she simply pirouetted in place and is now facing the wrong way (in other words, she’s a righthanded hitter). You would too, facing the WycheTrain.
Panel three looks fine to me, causing me to question my sanity.
Dean Booth
April 24th, 2008 at 8:37 am
Overheard in Milford: “Dear, do these pants make my hips look human?”
Edgy DC
April 24th, 2008 at 8:38 am
Josh knows art but not baseball — or softball. That’s not the leftfielder, but the thirdbasegirl. You can see the base in the lower left of the frame. Plus she’s using the type of glove that John J. McGraw used to play third with in the 1890s, which was also remarkably useful for taking a roast out of the oven.
That last frame isn’t of Branden Zoller (a girl’s name? really?) sliding into third, but into home. The karate chop is not coming from the thirdbasechick but from the umpiretrix, ruling Branden as safe (though there is no apparent play on her anyway).
Why home plate is risen two inches above the ground to look like a base, I don’t know, but I’ll just guess that’s either a deliberate attempt to confuse poor Josh, or one of the ways things uniquely work in Mitford, where we strive for the playdowns.
Truly remarkable is the explosion of energy coming out of Barnden’s butt.
NotAGoatHead
April 24th, 2008 at 8:38 am
Forest Gump: “Life for a box of crayons is like a box of chocolates. When the heat is on we all melt.”
commodorejohn
April 24th, 2008 at 8:39 am
#21 Mr. O’Malley – Utica Club, huh? Check out this terrible offering from the 365 Days Project.
Archie – “The book” apparently being a biography of a very surly Mickey Dolenz, if the poster is anything to judge by.
BC – The ladies of B.C. finally realize their plight.
Baldo – Gee, nice job, Baldo, you got beaten to the punch and one-upped by freakin’ Curtis.
Crankshaft – HO HO THE OLD PEOPLE SURE ARE DUMB AND SENILE AND DUMB HUH
DTM – Today’s Dennis The Menace is much funnier if you misinterpret the phrase “prime time.”
DT – “Message for you, sir!”
FW – Just…what the hell. He’s acting up in class, therefore it must be a family problem? Maybe he’s just a disruptive teenage boy, like a lot of other guys his age. But noooo, that wouldn’t be Very Special Episode-ish enough for Batiuk.
GT – *contented sigh*
Luann – THIS. STRIP. SUCKS.
MF – You know, I even actually agree with him, but GOD DAMN IT THAT IS NOT WHAT A MERCURY LIGHT BULB LOOKS LIKE
MT – And then suddenly the owl looks at the camera and says “And now for something completely different.”
Momma – Momma endorses poisoning your spouse.
MC – My Cage is always good, but then there are days when it’s great.
PC – How does one pronounce an asterisk, anyway?
Edison Lee – Oh yes, the Feast of Our Lady of Kazan! I can’t wait! (P.S. Edison, you dumb little shit, it’s a good thing that other stellar bodies are as far away as they are. “Brilliant Mind” my ass.)
Ziggy – Ha ha! Ziggy is going to declare bankruptcy!
Calico
April 24th, 2008 at 8:42 am
#68
Mary (Worth) had an aeroplane
In it she loved to frisk
Wasn’t she a silly girl
Her little *
gkl
April 24th, 2008 at 8:43 am
GT: So Branden’s a girl, then. Well, good for her.
MW: I recognize those donubagels. This is where Dr. Drew got dumped!
John C Fremont
April 24th, 2008 at 8:45 am
# 15 – Happy birthday, Mollificent!
# 61 – Don’t give in to the temptation, Harpa. I’ve been Mallard-free for over a year. You can do it!
Foob – “Exciting hum?” Are we still talking about knobs?
MT – The barn owl disapproves.
Phantom – Hey Phantom, your second panel is melting!
RMMD – Poor Andy, just standing there with his mouth hanging open. Just like a Patterson.
JP – Uh, oh, Marie’s turning into Philip Seymour Hoffman again.
DT – Yup. An arrow. Dancing around going “Uk” and “Ulq” for the better part of a week, but until today nobody could see the giant freaking arrow sticking up from behind his back! Sheesh!
FC – Crayons can learn? Crayons live?! I’m suddenly afraid of crayons! And what about scented candles?
Rebochan
April 24th, 2008 at 8:46 am
FW: It’s like every day, Batiuk gives us an even more unlikeable lead character for no apparent reason.
RM: HOW DO WE KILL IT?!
MC: …I think I found a comic more depressing than FW today. Only because it’s SO TRUE! *sob*
MW: “Hey, why the hell am I talking to this crazy old lady I just met?!” “I am the Meddle Miser, and you will never escape my grasp!”
Artist formerly known as Ben
April 24th, 2008 at 8:46 am
#46 Stephanie
It’s especially irritating since Bernice wants to keep Luann away from her brother, Ben. That being the case, you’d think she could be a little more supportive when Luann is mulling over more age-appropriate boyfriend candidates. Apparently being a bad friend remains her top priority.
The Spectacular Spider-Brick, Decreer of Things
April 24th, 2008 at 8:48 am
Archie: Hey, Arch, if you’re going to break the fourth wall to give us secrets about the Archieverse, why not tell us whether Betty or Veronica puts out?
C’Shaft: People in Crankyland must really like their furniture from the Frau Ilse Koch Collection.
Crock: HOW DO WE KILL IT!?
(WT)DT: Okay, five words. First word, sounds like… scratch? Itch? Fleas! Sounds like fleas… Please! Second word…
JP: Yet another pose in which I am improbably denied my Marie panty shot. She must buy her skirts from the same place as Kagome Higurashi. (Right back atcha, Truman!)
MT: I think that giant mutant owl is going to swoop down and eat that tiny, tiny van, digest its contents, then hork up the twisted, metallic remains. That would be awesome.
Marvin: Not only does he look different, but no poop or pee jokes. Is it a new dawn for Marvin?
Monty: They’ve changed this strip radically and permanently before. I wonder if they’re brave enough to do it again?
PreTeena: In Teena’s dreams, mega-movie-star hunks apparently don’t wear pants.
PC, SF: Nice that at least one strip didn’t dump Earth Day with a throwaway strip. Even if PC is taking the annoying route.
S-M: And The Vulture plans to fly out of the sealed prison building… how?
Old School Allie Cat
April 24th, 2008 at 8:49 am
FOOB – Aw, these kids think they have a future – when in fact, come September, they’ll have nooo hoooooome! Pack it in, Eva and Duncan – we’re done with you. April, go play with your bunny – we’ll come get you when it’s time to make a snappy comeback at the wedding.
MW – I have to be at the hospital tomorrow – my father is having surgery – and if any old lady tries to Mary Worth me over a cup of crappy cafeteria coffee, she’s going to get a Mark Trail Brand(tm) fist upside the jaw. I don’t cotton to meddling under stress. The good news is that my sister is 8.5 months pregnant – so she won’t be there to act as the Richard to my Ron.
Luann – Good for Delta – someone needed to call Bernice on her shit. Although – Bernice has a point – I don’t give a damn about the lovelife of Luann – especially because if she had aged in real time, we’d be contemporaries. My dad isn’t well, I have a mortgage to pay, my check engine light keeps coming on, and my dog is going to a really expensive dermatologist next week Luann. Suck on that, bitch.
FW – He’s anti-therapy because he doesn’t want to hear, “About your weight, Funky – it’s not what you’re eating, it’s what’s eating you.”
Lowest Common Denominator
April 24th, 2008 at 8:50 am
If you ever watch a college softball game, they really do pitch like that (i.e., swing their arm 360 degrees [at least!] and release the ball as their hand passes their collective hip). It’s frightening!
airish
April 24th, 2008 at 9:00 am
I always figured that “Milford” was this made up, generic, boring nowhere’sville, like Archie’s “Riverdale,” full of bitter folks clinging to guns and high school sports. However, the fact that the Mudlarks are playing Binghamton (apparently a real, identifiable town) would suggest that maybe we are possibly living in a real Milford. Maybe Milford, NY (between Binghamton and Schenectady, or maybe Milford, PA (about the same distance away, in NE PA. Milford, DE (”The Garden City of Twin Counties”) is probably a little too far for the bus ride to the game, unless the Mudlarks have chartered a flight to Binghamton, but I may have missed that strip.
Perky Bird
April 24th, 2008 at 9:00 am
# 36 Calico–
I’m trying to imagine Christian Crayons. Angelic Apricot? Evangelical Ecru? Righteous (Indignation) Red?
Rizbon
April 24th, 2008 at 9:01 am
Given that there are no non-white people in Family Circus, I think you guys are giving Grandma too much credit: it’s not a groaningly obvious metaphor; she’s really just talking about crayons.
John E.
April 24th, 2008 at 9:02 am
Spiderman – Look, Drago, or Vulture, or whatever you call yourself – here’s some free career counseling advice for you.
If you’ve got an actual working magnetic anti-gravity device that is compact enough to carry and strong enough to let an average sized man fly, don’t freaking waste it on swooping down and stealing little old lady’s purses or whatever petty crimes got you in jail.
Instead, go into manufacturing and sell them. You’d be the Henry Ford of the 21st century. You’d have a giant pile of money and people would admire you. Think about it…
Hasty Penguin
April 24th, 2008 at 9:02 am
It doesn’t seem to matter what happens in Gil Thorp, because I can never figure out who is playing. I see an M on one girl’s jersey and the next day I’ll see Hs and Ps and eagles and then suddenly there will be a story thrown in about taking care of children or having to assassinate some poor fellow.
I don’t understand where the sports come in.
commodorejohn
April 24th, 2008 at 9:04 am
#77 airish – I don’t think you probably need a flight to anywhere in Gil Thorp. You can probably just walk through some impossible corner of a room in Milford and find yourself in another impossible corner in Binghamton.
#79 Rizbon – Actually, there were a black kid and a Jewish kid, but I haven’t seen them in quite a while.
Jim Thorp(e)
April 24th, 2008 at 9:06 am
If I could stand 2 feet away from the batter, I bet I could strike out 27 in a game.
Even with my arm on backwards.
Do the “artists” over at DTGT ever look at a human body?
I mean beyond the porn they surf to after they call in the strip.
Perky Bird
April 24th, 2008 at 9:09 am
# 74 Spider Brick–
Yeah, how is the Vulture going to escape? I mean, the guards will probably just chase him around with brooms until they manage to swat him to the floor and throw a towel over him. Either that, or he’ll just knock himself out by repeatedly flying into a window or glass door.
TheDiva
April 24th, 2008 at 9:10 am
FOOB: Even the characters can’t muster up enough energy to care about this strip.
Pluggers: Pluggers have never heard of those “easy-open” pain medication bottles they make so you don’t have to worry about trying to get the blessed thing open while your hands are knotted with arthritis.
Artist formerly known as Ben
April 24th, 2008 at 9:12 am
#15 Mollificent,
Happy birthday, and paint the town the color of your choice.
Have to agree on the music choice. I have Johnny Cash’s “Orange Blossom Special” album at home and on my iPod. It’s a fine selection of songs. Johnny discovered Bob Dylan around this time too.
Tweeks_Coffee
April 24th, 2008 at 9:17 am
#74 – SSB, #84 – Perky Bird: I’m sure this is one of those new “Alfresco” jails that I’ve been hearing so much about.
Phred22
April 24th, 2008 at 9:22 am
Looking at Gil Thorp and Dennis the Menace, I think I know what happened to Sherman’s fins.
Jeffsterr
April 24th, 2008 at 9:52 am
NY’er Contest: “Back to product development. She needs a bigger hole.”
juggernaut
April 24th, 2008 at 9:59 am
So, have we always known that Gil Thorp takes place around the Southern Tier of New York? Dammit, I live near Binghamton, and the last thing I want to see when I’m at WalMart buying Pop Tarts and pork rinds and family sized packs of jerky are these freakishly mutated (yet facially nondescript) mouth breathers!
gh
April 24th, 2008 at 10:06 am
(WT)DT —
WHO? Who shot that arrow?
“I,” said Cock Robin, “with my little sparrow. Now haul him away in a red wheelbarrow.”
What? It makes at least as much [Margo]ing sense as anything else going on in this strip.
Note to Poteet: OOOOMMMMM.
Gulielma
April 24th, 2008 at 10:09 am
FW: Why on earth is Holly still married to Funky? Sounds like this marriage would make a Strindberg play seem lighthearted.
FBoFW: That’s right. You have to decide what your future will be NOW. It’s not like there will be changes in technology or you’ll discover a talent for something in college or anything.
Jump Start: I used to like this strip.
gleeb
April 24th, 2008 at 10:14 am
Duck: It just struck me. Brucie isn’t drawing a compact fluorescent bulb badly; he’s drawing it to resemble a turban. He’s trying to subtly (for him) insinuate that the terrible, terrible Persians are behind this attempt to poison, nay, intoxicate brave Unitedstatesians. Either that or gin is on sale again.
bats :[
April 24th, 2008 at 10:18 am
Dang it, late to the party (drag my whirl of a social life!)…
Mutts: very, very cute.
MW: how can I do better than to repeat all the fine snarkery about it already? (Oooh! donuts!)
RMMD: meanwhile, Rex tries very, very hard to figure out what “CDC” stands for…
9CL: play “Pride and Prejudice”? I’m guessing it’s a board game. Otherwise that’s a mighty big empire-waisted frock that Seth is going to have to fit into.
FOOB: with the expressions in the final panel, I guess the pocket pool tournament ended in a victory (much to the chagrin of the spectators).
FC: drop it! drop it!
http://www.flickr.com/photos/9545446@N07/2438201561/sizes/o/
gh
April 24th, 2008 at 10:19 am
ChattyGenes –
In case you missed it, DanKirby gave you a definitive answer to your Count Morgu question right after you left the yester-yesterthread.
http://joshreads.com/?p=1528#comment-486577
Laura c
April 24th, 2008 at 10:20 am
#81 …And your point is?
RM: Rex’s thought balloon: “So the Gypsy was right! A mysterious stranger travelling to meet me! Will he be tall, dark and handsome?”
A Totally Realistic Teen of Today
April 24th, 2008 at 10:21 am
I don’t totally know what I’m gonna do… career-wise. Stuff could change, but we’ll see. I mean, I’ve checked out what I need to do to be a veterenarian, an’ that’s what I THINK I want. At least, it’s what I’m interested in. I’m sort of… you know… leaning in that direction. An’ who knows. It all depends. Right? At least I’m gonna give it my best shot. I’m sort of interested in business stuff. I’m also into sports. An’ travel an’ communications. I could open a travel agency! Who knows? An’ organize world sporting events! There’s always an open door. You just have to remember to let go of the knob! I’m not planning to be a professional singer… but I HAFTA sing! So I guess I’ll take, like, General Arts an’ see where I go from there. You gotta start somewhere. An’ who knows! I could end up doing something completely different from anything I ever imagined! Exciting, hum?
Wally Limingbean
April 24th, 2008 at 10:26 am
Holly has stayed with the Funkster because he doesn’t care that she has let herself go to the point where the only job she can get is bringing in wash. She should have told Funky years ago to stop bringing how the reject pizzas. It is too late and she has become a pig woman on her way to a heart attack or cancer.
Hopefully both.
Perky Bird
April 24th, 2008 at 10:38 am
FOOB– Why does Eva think she will ever have to give up singing? Can you name one career that says, “In order to practice in X field, you absolutely cannot sing–not in the shower, not in your car, not in church, not at Karaoke night at the local pub, nowhere!”
I love birdwatching, but didn’t want to become a biologist. I wanted to study diplomacy and foreign relations. But as I entered college, I never once felt the need to say, “I want to become a diplomat, but I won’t give up birdwatching!”
Astroboy
April 24th, 2008 at 10:42 am
If only Luann would direct some of her libido in Bernice’s direction, Luann’s love life would become a lot more exciting, and I know we’d all like to see that happen.
LOL I’m holding out for April and Becky to settle their festering differences in the jell-o pit.
Calico
April 24th, 2008 at 10:57 am
#100 With Stary Gap-Toothed “Hoo!” Boy in the front row, of course.
Carly
April 24th, 2008 at 11:01 am
76 – and yet it’s still less hard on your arm than baseball pitching because it’s a fairly natural motion (or so I’ve been told). And baseball photos of a pitcher in motion are equally frightening.
Flipper
April 24th, 2008 at 11:02 am
#6 Diamond Joe: Regarding MF, Tinsley sloppily gives “Nathan” credit for that statement, because Nathan makes it very clear he’s quoting from an article on MSNBC’s site. I think MSNBC would have made a better footnote than some agenda-laden “business & media” site few people have heard of.
And I second #61 Harpa’s motion to ban MF snarking!
bats :[
April 24th, 2008 at 11:11 am
4. Alphabetfish: I posted the visual snark before reading your comment — yep, there has GOT to be a better way of rendering a happy child’s face without making her look like she’s got a Hostess Sno-bal shoved into it. The Keanes haven’t figured it out, apparently…
ChattyGenes re The Origin of Count Morgu: it wasn’t me! I’m trying to figure out who actually dubbed Andy Reed’s character with this moniker (credit where credit is due, not that I’ll run with a good idea)…I think it might’ve been Altcomix, who has been doing his fair share of Count Morgu mashups, although a number of folks thought Andy was pretty creepy-looking from the outset.
Some scanning the Archives reveals DivGuy dubbing him “Count Morgula”, and Mr. O’Malley first calling him “Count Morgu” (22 March), followed by gleeb and Altcomix. Yay! Mystery solved! Another entry for Wikipedia.
Yeah. I have too much free time.
Loopina, Summer Intern of the Jungle Patrol
April 24th, 2008 at 11:15 am
When I grow up, I want to be a pilot.
Wait, what do you MEAN I’m already grown up? Dammit…
#6: Diamond Joe – regarding Archie. Do people actually say “breakfast cereal”? Or is it a regional thing, like “ink pen”?
And dang if alibaba.com isn’t a pretty neat website! They do indeed have shark fins for sale. I’m wondering if this is going to end up like that episode of Futurama where Fry’s nose is stolen by poachers.
This is freakin’ awesome:
http://tinyurl.com/67pq97
WillieO
April 24th, 2008 at 11:25 am
“Crayons can teach us a valuable lesson…JEFFY STOP EATING THAT CRAYON! JEFFY? ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME? SPIT IT OUT!”
Al of the Christian Single Jungle Patrol
April 24th, 2008 at 11:28 am
98 — Holly’s already done the cancer thing. And she’s a two-time loser at marriage. I doubt Batiuk is even capable of making her life worse.
JB
April 24th, 2008 at 11:32 am
Anyone else notice that Yahoo comics and the Houston Chronicle are running completely different strips for PreTeena this week?
GT — while it’s obvious the artist meant for the batter to have finished her swing in panel 1, *nobody* ends a swing with the bat up high on their shoulder. It’s clearly a lefty batting stance, with the catcher behind her back (grounds for ejection in most leagues, as it’s an obvious signal the pitcher is aiming behind the batter).
Blynneda
April 24th, 2008 at 11:39 am
It’s so comforting to know that everyone else in the world thinks the same of Binghamton as I do. Thank God I no longer live there.
(Also, I’m pretty sure the high school Binghamton team’s mascot was and is the Patriots.)
Hank
April 24th, 2008 at 11:42 am
RE: Gil Thorp/Binghamton My mother was born in the Binghamton area, so I grew up going back to visit once in a while, and my daughter currently attends SUNY Binghamton. As a result I’ve seen the Binghamton of the past of the Binghamton of the present….and, man, does the place suck these days.
Niall
April 24th, 2008 at 11:45 am
15. mollificent: If I ever get married, I’d want to play Orange Blossom Special myself at it. At the least I’d probably have one guest able to play it. :) I remember dancing in a local Irish pub to it, almost a decade ago now. It’s been much too long since I heard it…
…and happy birthday to a talented mudgeon and musician with a golden throat! :)
Patrick, FOOB Abominator Division
April 24th, 2008 at 11:46 am
FOOB: Hoo-guy Anthony Failure To Act
kippetje2000
April 24th, 2008 at 11:51 am
I think, as any of the breeders will tell you, crayons only live in the box for the first few hours after they’re brought home. Soon after that they break out, turn free range all over the house, and they never return to the original packaging. Some turn nocturnal and are only to found underfoot on dark stairways. Some go feral and can only be stopped by being ingested and forcefully exgested later. And remember kids, there is only one of each color in a box. Talk about segregation. Except for the Keane household which must have thousands of left-over boxes of colors, due to needing so much of the orange and white. Has anyone suggested a box of Curmudgeon Crayons?
Mary Worth Meddling Antique Brass #C88A65
The-Ghost-Who-Walks Jazzberry Jam #A50B5E
Redeye Maize
Get Fuzzy Wuzzy Brown #C45655
Beetle Bailey Cadet Blue #A9B2C3
Spiderman Brick Red #C62D42
Croc Desert Sand #EDC9AF
One Big Happy Ever After #6CDA37
Margolous Mauve #F091A9
Cathy Manatee Grey #8D90A1
tymime
April 24th, 2008 at 11:53 am
Can someone please explain Wizard of Id? All I can think of is that it’s about an English major who likes eating manure.
Joe Btfsplk
April 24th, 2008 at 11:56 am
Redeye – OK, the camel’s back is now officially broken:
This is from today.
This is from Jan. 2 of this year.
This is a comment that I posted back then. So today is the second time this year that I’ve griped about not only the same strip, but the same damn episode of the same strip, the price I pay for not heeding my own advice I guess. And this is only about the fifth time I’ve even read the stupid thing since then. It’s weird, too, because the two instances are almost identical, but not quite; if you bring the two up in separate tabs and blink them back and forth, there are enough minor differences to make it look like one was redrawn by tracing it from the other, and too few differences for the second one plausibly to have been absentmindedly redrawn from scratch. And the dates of course are different, so it’s not just an accidental reprint. What the @#$% is going on here? Is it possible that the friggin’ thing doesn’t have enough material to avoid recycling itself even for four months? Is there some “spot the Redeye repeat” contest going on that I don’t know about, and do I win a prize? Did I mention that I do not particularly care much for this strip?
Carly
April 24th, 2008 at 11:57 am
But what color are the Foobs? Because they must be represented. If you didn’t have gray there already I’d suggest Granthony Gray.
AhClem
April 24th, 2008 at 12:01 pm
#105 Loopina etc. -
“Breakfast cereal” is different from, say, Captain Crunch, which is often eaten dry by the handful for dinner while plopped in front of the TV after a hard day’s work.
Or, um, so I’ve heard.
boojum
April 24th, 2008 at 12:07 pm
105 Loopina:
You gotta love a product named PooTrap. Now available in eight sizes! And the description is poetry itself:
“PooTrap used by the magnetism to clamp the bag, when the dog bowel movement, does not have to pick with the hand.”
Joe Btfsplk
April 24th, 2008 at 12:07 pm
Rereading the older thread did remind me of “Climb down off your dinosaur!” though, an outstanding line which I’d entirely forgotten about. So I did get something positive out of this.
Paul1963
April 24th, 2008 at 12:08 pm
#63 Artist Formerly Known As Ben–Yeah, that is a pretty nice suit Joe Pye is wearing in GA. In fact, it’s the same nice suit he’s worn every single time we’ve ever seen him, including when he and his band of ne’er-do-well offspring were digging a tunnel.
Joe, you see, belongs to that subset of non-Wallet GA characters who wear the same clothes all the time without anyone ever noticing or commenting, like Rufus and Joel, Mayor Melba, Walt’s now-deceased friend Doc Johnson and the late Uriah Pert.
Wally Limpingbean
April 24th, 2008 at 12:14 pm
She probably went to the same doctor as Lisa, so there is a really good chance that she didn’t beat cancer. The doctor read the chart upside down and told her she was just fine.
boojum
April 24th, 2008 at 12:19 pm
Also, I would pay cash money to watch a Death Cage Ultimate Platitude Match between Granma Keane and Mary Worth. As long as we got to leave the winner locked in the cage with the rotting corpse of her victim.
Did I say that last part out loud?
gh
April 24th, 2008 at 12:21 pm
#114 tymime –
I believe the point is that English Lit majors have no marketable skills and are unworthy of swabbing even human restrooms and should be laughed at for being so stupid as to pursue knowledge or possibly even enlightenment over a career and will one day end up with nothing better to do than dash off bitter diatribes like this one while brushing straw out of their hair and scraping their shoes at the servants’ entrance. I mean, that’s just a guess.
Well, break’s over. At least I don’t have to worry about washing my hands before returning to work.
gnome de blog
April 24th, 2008 at 12:39 pm
Time for a Mary Worth/Funky Winkerbean crossover. If anybody ever deserved to be meddled, it’s the Funkster.
commodorejohn
April 24th, 2008 at 12:45 pm
#115 Joe Btfsplk – What the…? Well, just one more good reason to axe Redeye, if you ask me.
Marthas Rolling Pin
April 24th, 2008 at 12:54 pm
#77 Airish, the Milford Lady Mudlarks played their non-conference basketball games in Horry County, SC, so Binghamton wouldn’t be that much of a stretch for them. Past references seem to suggest either a Connecticut or Michigan location for Gil Thorpville. Personally, I think CommodoreJohn’s theory of a tesseract in a corner somewhere in Milford is about on target.
True Fable
April 24th, 2008 at 12:56 pm
#99 Perky Bird – I’m not a professional singer either. However, I do sing in our community chorus and in choir at church. Eva’s whole dramatic declaration about “Never giving up singing” elicits a big yawn and a “yeah, okay” from Yours Truly.
Sure, Eva, I feel the delight and joy of the need to sing too. Most Sundays I’m the only tenor in the choir, and I have waaay too much fun at chorus rehearsal to quit just because we’re not professionals.
What I DID give up, however, is the use of hafta and an’. But that’s okay because I learned how to speak well in high school, probably because I went to class and did not hang around the bleachers all day watching my BFF play pocket pool.
kippetje2000
April 24th, 2008 at 12:57 pm
#116 Carly
Foob Violent Pink #F7468A ·
Foob Violent Pink is essentially a light red and is usually associated with love and romance. · Foob Violent Pink is thought to have a calming effect. One shade known as “drunque-tank pink” is sometimes used in prisons to calm inmates. Sports teams sometimes paint the opposing teams locker room pink to keep the players passive and less energetic. · While Foob Violent Pink’s calming effect has been demonstrated, researchers of toon psychology have found that this soothing effect only occurs during the initial exposure to the toon. But when used in excess, readers often react even more agitatedly once they become accustomed to the strip.
True Fable
April 24th, 2008 at 12:57 pm
Happy Birthday, Mollificent, you golden-throated warbler you! I hope it’s a great day for you, darlin’!
Spanky the Love Chinchilla
April 24th, 2008 at 1:04 pm
#113 – kippetje2000: Literally LOL! I remember (way back in the days before video games) that some of my free range canyons used to run outside to put highway lane markings on the sidewalk. Others migrated to car but usually ended up as melted pools of colored wax on the self under the back window of mom’s car. Then there was that bunch that was always under the sofa trying to mate with the dust bunnies!
True Fable
April 24th, 2008 at 1:06 pm
#74 Spectacular Spider-Brick, Decreer of Things – Sometimes I think InuYasha would be a perfect fit for the American comic strip page, given that it often repeats itself, has pretty characters with annoying traits and tends to have the same general plotline again and again, plus the edge of Kagome’s skirt is always just two tantalizing centimeters below her hoo-hoo at all times and Sango’s curves rival Abbey Spencer’s. I just don’t think the syndicates have ever heard of manga.
Can you see King Features touting “Death Note”? Wheee!
Truman Fable, Goat Assessor
Comcis Fan
April 24th, 2008 at 1:07 pm
Oh come on, now! Surely I’m not the only one mildly flabbergasted (if that’s possible) by today’s Pickles. At least he called the cat a “cat” and not, well, you know.
http://www.comics.com/wash/pickles/
Thursdaynext
April 24th, 2008 at 1:08 pm
#116-How about Tedious Taupe?
FW-Bilious Beige
I found a tiny glimmer of hope in FW today. If Holly & FU have to go to therapy, maybe Batuik will go as well, you know, just to have a good grasp of what he’s doing. Like a method actor. And maybe he’ll discover himself and become a Buddhist monk or something.
Harry Worth
April 24th, 2008 at 1:14 pm
gnome de blog wrote:
I can see it now.
Funky get divorced.
Looses his business because of a huge MRSA outbreak that is traced back to Montoni’s and all the kids who hang out there.
He moves into the Charterstone and takes a shine to Mary.
He follows her around and tries to win her affection.
Tragically, he gets an intervention from from the Charterstone elite which imposes a restraining order for him to stay away from Mary.
Despondent beyond despair, he turns back to the bottle and dies in a horrible crash at Aldo’s curve.
We can only hope.
commodorejohn
April 24th, 2008 at 1:24 pm
#131 True Fable – Sadly, the syndicates have heard of manga. Unfortunately, they have concluded that it’s the stereotypical “manga art style” that makes it good, as opposed to the wide variety of subject matter, storytelling styles, and art styles present in actual, honest-to-God Japanese comics. The St. Paul Pioneer Press, for example, runs varying Tokyopop faux-manga on Sundays, all of which look like what would happen if you took an obsessive fourteen-year-old otaku and gave them professional art materials, except for Courtney Love’s Mary-Sue story Princess Ai, which looks like what would happen if you took a semi-decent if stereotypical manga artist, chained them to a desk, and made them illustrate the fantasies of a coked-out widow of a rock star. It’s all just hideous.
Shermy Glamrocker
April 24th, 2008 at 1:32 pm
I find it hard to believe that I’m the first to notice what’s bein’ set up in FOOB:
Fourth panel: “AN’ WHO KNOWS! WE COULD ALL END UP DOING SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT FROM ANYTHING WE EVER IMAGINED!”: (note that Duncan has “let go of the knob” and has put his hands on the girls)
Fifth panel: “EXCITING HUM?” “YEAH” “TOTALLY”
Sixth panel: ROADSIDE THREESOME!!
(Editors note: Writer removed the comma between “EXCITING” and “HUM” in fifth panel transcription to make it sexier.)
dale
April 24th, 2008 at 1:35 pm
99. Perky Bird
Because I don’t know anything about diplomacy or bird watching, I’ma thinkin’ there may be a connection if you wanna do it right:
1) Keep your mouth shut.
2) Listen.
Gulielma
April 24th, 2008 at 1:36 pm
98: See, Wally, as a woman of size, I think Holly could do better than Funky. He’s such a dipwad.
Niall
April 24th, 2008 at 1:39 pm
FC: What really sticks in my craw is the “have strange names” racist/xenophobic dig. Hey, gramma, your name’s pretty strange to 99% of the planet! Learn a little perspective! Which you can draw with the pretty crayons…
Ginger Yellow
April 24th, 2008 at 1:55 pm
GT: If that’s softball, how big must panel 2 girl’s head be?
Sly and the Family Circus
April 24th, 2008 at 2:00 pm
After some consideration I have concluded Mary Worth and Gramma Keane are the same person. Taking the difference in drawing style into account, the physical resemblance is striking, let alone the nearly identical tone of sanctimonial whitebread pap.
The hidden truth is Mary Worth has a secret career as a cartoonist, working under the pen name “Bil Keane”, and drawing herself into the strip as Gramma (rather than the commonly held conception that “Bil” draws himself into the strip as “Dad”. (It also means Toby is “Jeff”.)
Widdle Jeffy
April 24th, 2008 at 2:25 pm
So, I take it that grandmama’s lesson is that if it has a strange name, is a different color, or differs from us in any way, we need to stuff it in a box and put it away on a high shelf and put away those GODLESS coloring pages, wipe those smug grins off your fat little faces, get your bibles out and pray that the LORD does not smite you down for being SINNERS.
Oh yes Jeffy, you are a sinner.
You too Dolly. God sees where you put your fingers at night.
I have the power of Jesus flowing through me and don’t need Godless crayons or anything else.
Hallelujah!
Now where is grandmama’s “medicine”?
Arglebargle
April 24th, 2008 at 2:31 pm
# 135 commodorejohn:
I hear THAT. I quit even glancing at those things after the awful mess about that whiny girl and her new ferret (which she let loose in the car on the way home, for God’s sake) and her clueless mother (your kid let the ferret loose in the car on the way home, for God’s sake!). And there’s a lot of manga I love. (People tend to think it’s all Yu-Gi-Oh! and Pokemon, but it’s a lot more diverse in every respect than even the non-superhero American comic market.)
FC: So, which of these li’l termites is going to pull a Homer Simpson and lodge one (or more) of these life-lesson crayons into his or her frontal lobe through the easiest major passage?
MF: Actually, more mercury pollution is produced by burning coal to create electricity for non-CFLs than by broken CFLs, and newer CFLs on the market already have reduced mercury levels. Tinsley’s hysteria-provocation is, as usual, wildly outdated to the point of lying. (Not that he cares. Man, that artwork eats.)
Donald The Anarchist
April 24th, 2008 at 2:39 pm
#71 Scented candles are like the Jesus of crowns. “They’re made of wax, just like we are, but they give up their lives to bcome the Light Of The…well, not the world, usually just the boudoir…”
Oh, and hamfisted as Gramma’s metaphor is, she’s just trying to counteract the OTHER grandmother’s gift of the KKK Koloring Book. It’ll be worth it if she convinces Dolly to color Jesus with a combination of “High Yaller” and “Mocha-Latte”.
True Fable
April 24th, 2008 at 2:51 pm
#135 commodorejohn – NOOoooo…! Do Not Want!
bats :[
April 24th, 2008 at 2:52 pm
139. Niall re FC: that reference to “strange names” ticked me off, too. Maybe the Keanes should invest in a thesaurus: “unique” could’ve been used. It doesn’t have the weirdness squick that “strange” does, and it would make Big Gramma Keane sound erudite and pretentious.
Oh, wait…
119. Carly: but in the big box o’ Crayolas, there are several variations of the same color. Ergo,
Schoolgirl mini-skirt grey
Cinna-moustache sepia
Cwappy-pants puce
Butter Tart yellow
…none of them to be confused with “Sexy Succubus Red,” “Mark Trail Moose-droppings Brown,” or “Lio What the &$%@&$ Is That?”.
Vakar
April 24th, 2008 at 2:56 pm
Someone suggested that the moral of the current Mark Trail storyline will be, “Please, kids, when your dog is outside, always keep him or her on a leash, or in your well-enclosed yard.” Believe me, I would love for that to be true. But given the general sophistication of this strip, and the way the story is
developingbuildinglumbering along, I think it’ll be more like: “Little girls with puppies: good; Van-driving petnappers: bad.”Vakar
April 24th, 2008 at 2:59 pm
“…and right hook o’ justice: oh-so-very good.”
commodorejohn
April 24th, 2008 at 3:00 pm
#145 True Fable – My sentiments exactly. Why can’t they find good faux-manga? It’s out there. There are tons of webcomic artists who draw in something close to the stereotypical style they obviously want to cash in on, but manage to do an interesting story with it – why can’t they sign those guys up instead of the dimwit copycats they’re currently employing?
Clownbarber
April 24th, 2008 at 3:10 pm
Crayons can teach us a lesson…..they’re different colors, have strange names, but all learn to live together in the same box…..not unlike the endless stream of horny old men who line up outside of my room over at “The Home” EVRY NIGHT!!!! I know I’m just using them to fill the emptiness since your grandfather died, but it’s never enough……IT’S NEVER ENOOOOOOOUGH!!!!! I’m soiled….oh, so soiled………Oh merciful God, why have you left me so ALONE!!!!!! Oh, God, fill me up with ALL your colors! FILL ME UP!!!!!!!!! Burnt Sienna! Indian Red! Burnt Orange, Salmon, Raw Umber, Timber Wolf, Banana Mania, Flesh, Fleeesh, FLEEEEESH!!!!! YES! Yes!!! Yes……
bitterfly
April 24th, 2008 at 3:11 pm
man, who knew so many Curmudgeoeers were Binghamton residents? probably all that exposure to BC imagery which is fucking EVERYWHERE. nothing about that strip makes me want to ride a bus represented by it’s cavemen – in keeping with the spirit of the strip, they’d be manned by the hallucinogenically-dependent elderly and would be less concerned with reaching your destination than in crushing menorahs under the mighty wheels of Jesus
ChattyGenes
April 24th, 2008 at 3:16 pm
#95 gh
I did see it, and a belated thank you, DanKirby!
And thank you, gh, for the heads-up. Actually, I was too busy crawling off the thread in embarrassment (after my slew of stupid posts) to say thank you, but I really should have.
Ross
April 24th, 2008 at 3:17 pm
What’s with both FOOB and Archie breaking the fourth wall in a really disturbing way?
When Fred Basset (which I think is a rerun) did it a few days ago, it was cute and charming. Today’s… aren’t.
Ross
April 24th, 2008 at 3:22 pm
36 – Just read JP and I wondered that, too. It looks like Marie is holding her leg where the break is. Did her foot fall off and she’s trying to reattach it?
Eridani
April 24th, 2008 at 3:40 pm
hehe, binghamton. i went there last year
Dagger
April 24th, 2008 at 3:49 pm
Isn’t today’s FC kind of undermining its own point of acceptance by referring to other people having “strange names?” Should a family who doles out monikers like “Barfy” even be allowed to judge such a thing?
The attempted vision of world harmony isn’t helped much by the Gestapo Clown in Dolly’s coloring book, either.
queek
April 24th, 2008 at 3:54 pm
143: Princess Peach was *horrible*, speaking as a ferret owner. *shudders*
JP: guess I wan’t the only one that had a different set of dialogue in mind for panal 3, after the “get some sun” comment. “Here, let me help you into your bikini” was tops of my list.
True Fable
April 24th, 2008 at 4:01 pm
Okay, the gauntlet was thrown down and like some sort of twisted Pavlovian hound, I responded to the Make April’s Paper Doll Some New Threads Challenge.
First, what all the shouting’s aboot
Now, alternate style suggestions
Plus and now for something slightly different
And because I just couldn’t stop, especially clothing article 2. Sometimes you just gotta follow your bliss on this stuff.
gh
April 24th, 2008 at 4:06 pm
#158 True Fable –
Ah, Truman. No one could depict Canada’s Next Runaway Model like you. Kudos!
kippetje2000
April 24th, 2008 at 4:09 pm
North American Grrl in a Borat thong! Shame on you T.F.
NotAGoatHead
April 24th, 2008 at 4:10 pm
Anybody see Crock today? If BC rat turds weren’t enough, now we have the bedbug as a beer chaser. I guess that’s better than what else they might suggest with a bug in bed. Eeeee!
Alfred E. Neuman
April 24th, 2008 at 4:10 pm
#46 Stephanie, #73 Artist formerly known as Ben— The reason that the ravenously incestuous bisexual harridan Bernice wants to keep Ben and other guys away from Luann is that she wants Luann for herself (check out the Valentine’s Day strip). She also wants Ben for herself, and Zane, too. She’s a budding sexual adventuress, so I look forward to seeing more of her delicious perversity in the future.
#100 Astroboy— Thanks for the LOL!
#104 Bats :[— See the March 22 edition of RM, panel 2, for the origin of “Count Morgu”
Paul1963
April 24th, 2008 at 4:12 pm
Sadly, I must admit that when I hear/see the name “Binghamton,” the first thing that pops into my mind is Joe Flynn’s character from McHale’s Navy.
Wow, the idea of a syndicated Death Note comic absolutely boggles the mind. The idea of a daily strip centered around a kid who’s using a magical item to commit mass murder would, I’m sure, go over spectacularly well in many parts of the country. On the other hand, the many, many long stretches where Light and L/Ryuzaki conduct lengthy internal monologues while staring intently at each other would probably fit right in.
Imagine a steel-cage match between the two grandmothers in FC–the one shown today is, I believe, Bil/Daddy’s mother. Thel/Mommy’s mother is one of those big, heavyset types who’d probably take Gramma Keane down pretty quickly.
Then the match would end prematurely when one of the kids (probably Dolly or Jeffy) ran into the ring clutching a toy from whatever the most recent Disney or Pixar film was and crying that the Grammas were “making Wall-E cry!”
KevinJ
April 24th, 2008 at 4:21 pm
Damn- and here I was, thinking I was the only one who escaped from Binghamton. On a comic-related note, I have dropped both Cathy and Pickles from my daily reading- just not worth the time anymore. :)
commodorejohn
April 24th, 2008 at 4:31 pm
#158 True Fable – Haha, I salute your industriousness and wit!
LTBF
April 24th, 2008 at 4:35 pm
Whenever I see a wimpy looking guy who plays in a band and hang out with a bunch of girls all the time, I always think he is really a big sports fan.
Patrick, FOOB Abominator Division
April 24th, 2008 at 4:43 pm
Paul1963 says:
April 24th, 2008 at 4:12 pm
Sadly, I must admit that when I hear/see the name “Binghamton,” the first thing that pops into my mind is Joe Flynn’s character from McHale’s Navy.
I’m glad to know it wasn’t just me then, I also made that association. If i am interpreting the 1963 part correctly, I’m a year older than you and used to watch the show as a kid in the later 1960’s.
Paul1963
April 24th, 2008 at 5:01 pm
Patrick–Yep, that’s what the “1963″ part means. The first message board I ever signed up for was comics-related and I wanted something that said “I’ve been reading these things for a while,” and that seemed like a good choice. My last name is unusual and I didn’t want to risk having some over-caffeinated adolescent call me up at 3:00 AM to argue with me about whether or not Ron Marz was the Antichrist for writing “Emerald Twilight” (I said no, many fans felt otherwise).
Generally, I’m Paul1963 on anything not car-related.
trey le parc
April 24th, 2008 at 5:28 pm
God, I hate Crankshaft. I hate his alcohol bloated nose, his hateful beady eyes, his crappy Funky Winkerbean smirk, his seething disdain of anyone younger…when I get done with my cameo as a serial killer in Funkytown I’m going to grab a cab over to Crankville.
anonymous
April 24th, 2008 at 5:56 pm
#11 and #162 – you’ve told us twice now, maybe more, how you think Luanne is great wanking material. I don’t know how your hands are finding time to type here to tell us that. Please shut up.
#15 – Happy Birthday! .Hope you get a big box of Crayolas, with sharpener!…. As for the oddly phrased “Pride and Prejudice” remark, I never heard of a game, but take it to mean they’re going to watch the DVD and are inviting Edda to watch it with them. But the word “play” “P&P” was used so they wouldn’t use the word ‘watch’ twice in one sentence. ? That’s all I got.
commodorejohn
April 24th, 2008 at 6:41 pm
#170 anonymous – I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but this is a site for mocking the comics, and includes a long and glorious tradition of homosexual insinuations, put forth by no less than Josh himself. Alfred’s comments are hilarious, and I will not stand for their disparagement.
Lisa
April 24th, 2008 at 6:42 pm
Count me in as one who remembers “Leadbottom” and thought of him when people were discussing the city. (born in 56 here)…
I noticed that the 4/24 My Cage and Peanuts are basically riffs on the same topic. Surely Ed and Melissa didn’t know which Peanuts strip was going to run that day…. interesting synchronicity.
Hank
April 24th, 2008 at 6:49 pm
RE: 158,TrueFable, FOOB Geezus. That drawing of April in her underwear is pretty depressing. I don’t think a teenaged girl should be drawn as anorexic but the fact she’s already got the Patterson hips and ass at 17 is troubling.
minor flood
April 24th, 2008 at 7:08 pm
“They’re different colors, have strange names and live together in a box.” Sez G’ma Keane? Sounds like some sort of barely masked prison analogy to me!
Eau de Plugger
April 24th, 2008 at 7:11 pm
I should also point out that Rod Serling went to Binghamton High. Perhaps the Lady Mudlarks have stepped into the Twilight Zone. The entire Thorpiverse starts to make sense when you think about it that way.
The Spectacular Spider-Brick, Decreer of Things
April 24th, 2008 at 7:32 pm
Re: Manga on the comics page.
I agree that InuYasha would make a great newspaper adventure comic. It’s got all the elements: pretty characters (of both genders), high drama, unrequited (in fact, pretty near unexpressed) love, young characters that young readers can identify with, and a villain who is never actually finally defeated. However, American fundamentalists would bust a blood vessel about a strip that portrays demons as anything but doomed fallen angels, much less portray them at all, even though in the show, the word we translate as “demon” can refer to basically any kind of supernatural monster. And even though most of what InuYasha does with his sword is family-friendly “energy blast” stuff, there is still too much slicing and bleeding for American
kidsparents. So InuYasha would have to become a normal swordsman instead of a demon, only he couldn’t ever use his sword to actually cut anything except rocks and trees. And Naraku all the other demons would have to become mutants or something. And since any American TV executive will tell you girls will like a series with a boy hero but boys don’t care for strong girl characters, Kagome will have to become an ineffective hanger-on who has to be rescued a lot, like a princess or something. And since kids think romance is icky, InuYasha has to be completely uninterested in her, and to even further remove the possibility of romance, she has to be interested in him only when he’s in his transformed, hero identity, when he can’t requite her emotions because he has to protect her.…Holy crap, I’ve just reinvented He-Man.
Anyway, here are some other manga adaptations that might make it on the comics page:
Cowboy Bebop: Ragtag group of bounty hunters fly around in ramshackle spaceship and
usually fail tocapture runaway crooks. There is no Jet; Spike and Faye are brother and sister, and Edward is their nephew. Spike spends a lot of time watching Big Shot on TV and gets knocked out by loose bricks and butlers with lead pipes.Hmm, that sounds familiar. Let’s try another… Love Hina. Well, all the nudity and near-nudity is right out, so there’s no point in setting it in a hot springs resort. Not that Americans are too familiar with that kind of setting anyway. But if we can get a good enough artist, we still want to be able to draw the attractive young ladies in skimpy attire, so let’s make them dancers. And the hot blonde tsunderekko can’t punch her spiky-haired, bespectacled nebbish of a boyfriend any more, so we’ll just make her a raging bitch half the time and a lust-crazed minx the other half. Only Americans aren’t familiar with the tsundere character type, so to make her more sympathetic, we’ll make all the other characters even worse raging jerks, including the main character’s mother and grandmother. And we don’t need three cryptic, loony old men spouting nonsense — just keep one. Oh, and so that Seta’s not a threat anymore, let’s make him a gay ballet dancer.
I think that one would work, but it too sounds awfully familiar. Hey, how about Cromartie High School? To make it acceptable to Americans, we’d have to cut out all the violence and replace it with “wacky hijinks.” And to make it more accessible to a broader base of readers, instead of a bunch of juvenile delinquents, the students are a diverse and interracial group. It should include a perky blonde chick, a snooty brunette chick, a nerdy guy, a beefy dumb guy, a goofy comic-relief guy who eats a lot, and an earnest but doofy guy who can’t decide which of the chicks he likes. Oh, and we’d have to strip all the humor out of it.
Good Lord, that’s Archie.
I give up. My Cage is the most mangaesque thing we’re ever going to see on the comics page.
commodorejohn
April 24th, 2008 at 7:37 pm
#176 The Spectacular Spider-Brick – Sadly, I fear you are right, but I’d like to see some of the syndicates at least try. Oh well, when I fail to get a job in computer science with my Associates’ degree, I can go the Gary Larson route of working a string of small jobs while pitching whatever comedic-adventure strip I dream up to syndicates and maybe then we’ll get somewhere.
Quinn Danova
April 24th, 2008 at 7:48 pm
First, I can’t believe I’m finally delurking to talk about manga.
131-True Fable, much love.
135-As a sequential art student (fancy term-getting a degree in drawing comics) I have to say that “manga” means “comics”. Over there, in the land of the rising sun, Batman is manga.
There are definite stylistic and and storytelling differences that’re culturally based, but if I want to appropriate (which has been happening since East met West) those elements for my own work, I’d appreciate it not being called “faux manga”.
On the other hand, people that adopt these elements whole sale in a cut-and-paste sort of way without any effort towards developing a personal style need to be dragged through the streets. Naked. They make life harder for the rest of us.
I gave up having a career in comics until I discovered manga- I hadn’t heard of Indie comics and I don’t want to draw Marvel or DC.
To finish my rant, I must say Princess Ai really is Mary Sue garbage and a waste of Ai Yazawa’s character designing skills. So at least we agree on that!
The Spectacular Spider-Brick, Decreer of Things
April 24th, 2008 at 7:56 pm
Quinn Danova @ 178: yeah, I agree that “faux manga” isn’t a very respectful term, nor a precise one given the meaning of the Japanese word. But when American comic publishers (like Dark Horse) publish American-written and -drawn comics in tankobon form and dubs it with some made-up term like “Amerimanga,” what else are we to think? It’s not manga any more than Avatar: The Last Airbender is anime, so what are we to call it?
commodorejohn
April 24th, 2008 at 8:10 pm
#178 Quinn Danova – Fair enough, I was just lacking a better term for it. At any rate, my ire is directed solely at the creative bankruptcy and shameless copycatting of the thing as it stands today, as you eloquently ranted on, not the concept itself. Like I said, there are webcomics out there that adopt a pseudo-Japanese visual style that actually do something interesting with it and tell an engaging story, it’s just that the American “manga” getting professional distribution are all, so far as I’ve seen, piss-poor clones of existing Japanese comics.
commodorejohn
April 24th, 2008 at 8:13 pm
P.S. Glad you delurked! Always good to have another ‘Mudge join in the fun!
commodorejohn
April 24th, 2008 at 8:24 pm
P.P.S. Looking back, the phrase “semi-decent if stereotypical manga artist” was probably a little harsh. I’d hazard a guess that this Ai Yazawa character is probably held back by the limitations of creating art to the specifications of a bunch of corporate suits and a narcissistic crazy lady. And looking at some of the Wikipedia articles for her work, it looks like that’s probably the case.
Quinn Danova
April 24th, 2008 at 8:29 pm
Wow, thank you! I didn’t think anyone would be happy to see a ranter.
SSB-I honestly don’t know what to call it. Over there, it’s probably still called manga. Did you hear about Kodansha picking up Megatokyo for Japanese publication?
If/when the time comes, I might call my stuff manga because that’s what it’s inspired by and it does have a definite connotation to it. Calling it “manga” gives a person a certain expectation of visual style and content that I would aim to fulfill.
I’m sure in a few years there will be a jump in quality of OEL/Amerimanga/WTHE but it seems like they’re happy to get whatever they can at the moment and we get to suffer for it.
Tweeks_Coffee
April 24th, 2008 at 8:32 pm
Re: Manga Well looking at that list of English Manga, commodorejohn is generally right. Nothing really new there to break it away from being something other than an imitation of a popular art form. Of course that’s to be expected, the Japanese do have a few years on us in the manga department. That said, Dogby Walks Alone on that list (#135) did pique my interest. Reading some reviews, from people that know manga, it actually may be worth checking out.
A better example of an “American Manga” may be Jhonen Vasquez’s works. Though I’m sure there are people here that dislike it, it is something rather different than what’s been around before. It borrows the general manga style layout and his drawings are abviously manga inspired. However the stories themselves have little relation to the genuine article.
Quinn Danova
April 24th, 2008 at 8:33 pm
P.S. I hate to say “FTW” but Azumanga Dioh would be perfect in a newspaper!
P.S.S.-Just a confession. Once upon a time, I liked FBoFW….
commodorejohn
April 24th, 2008 at 8:35 pm
#183 Quinn Danova – Well, ranting is pretty much what we do here ;) ‘Course, it helps that we’re essentially agreeing on everything but the term itself. And I do hope you’re right about an eventual quality jump.
Quinn Danova
April 24th, 2008 at 8:41 pm
Tweeks_Coffee-I’m actually going back to school so I can get away from just imitating. I see the trap, and now I’m trying to make sure I don’t fall in. We don’t need another Peach Fuzz. Erk.
The only OEL I own is the first volume of Rising Stars, which is Tokyopop’s annual (or twice a year?..) compilation of winners from their Rising Stars of Manga contest. The grand prize entry “Devil’s Candy” really is something to behold.
ever2seek
April 24th, 2008 at 8:46 pm
Bernice in Luann is driving me CRAZY. What the hell is up her butt and eating her colon?!
Alfred E. Neuman
April 24th, 2008 at 8:52 pm
#171 commodorejohn— Thank you for your enthusiastic defense of my humble posts. I couldn’t have said it better myself. As for #170 anonymous, I’m glad to know you are reading my posts! If you hang around, you will see that certain ‘Mudges have their “things”. For example, True Fable has a “thing” for Lynn Johnston and posts frequent and ingenious snarks about her. My “thing” is Bernice (not Luann), who is so relentlessly nasty that I have become attracted to her character for some unfathomable reason. Hence my regular posts on her perverse behavior. I don’t usually post twice on the same subject in a given thread, but #162 was in response to some other posters. As to my future posts about Bernice, that depends on Greg Evans and what he does with her. Finally, I am retired, so my hands have plenty of time to type here. Fortunately for Comics Curmudgeondom, I’m a crummy typist, so one or two posts per day is about as much as I can do.
Tweeks_Coffee
April 24th, 2008 at 8:55 pm
#185, #187 – Quinn Danova: You may be on to something there. I’ve only ever seen the anime (even then only some of it) so I can’t say completely. There are some adult themes that would have to be cut (Creepy teacher sneaking into pool during girl’s gym class springs to mind), but the general story and characters could remain.
What about Ouran High School Host Club? Or maybe Detective Conan/Case Closed? Those may be lighthearted enough to pass on the comics page.
Eheheh, I also noticed that one on the list and…yeah. Definitely looked like a prime example of what commodorejohn was talking about.
NotThatGuy
April 24th, 2008 at 9:03 pm
I came over here to snark about FOOB but I can’t remember what the strip is about and no way am I going to reread it just to annoy myself again.
#122, Mary Worth IS Grandma Keane but no one knows which is one is the alter-ego.
commodorejohn
April 24th, 2008 at 9:04 pm
#190 Tweeks_Coffee – Yeah, Peach Fuzz (initially typed that as “fuxx,” there’s a Freudian slip for you) is one of the PP’s primary offenders, although there was another one too depressingly derivative of I don’t remember what for me to look up back when they’d first started running it. I remember seeing an excerpt from Peach Fuzz (did it again, heh) for the first time and thinking, “you know, Sluggy Freelance has a ferret who is actually funny and acts like a real ferret.“
Quinn Danova
April 24th, 2008 at 9:10 pm
Where is this list? And honestly, I meant that in a good way. The characters in DC are goth-cute but not derivative (this came out before goth-cute hit full swing stateside) and the action is well laid out. The backgrounds and background characters have attention paid to them. Also, there are no screentones. Every single bit of it looks like it was inked. This is important to me because… I’m afraid of screentones. They seem to require a definitely ‘less is more sense’ of balance and look downright atrocious in most english manga I’ve seen. They’re placed down as space filler with little regard for negative space or inspiring a mood.
For a change of pace, can anyone recommend good manga style comics?
commodorejohn
April 24th, 2008 at 9:24 pm
#193 Quinn Danova – The list in question is Wikipedia’s list of Tokyopop OEL titles, linked in post #135.
And yeah, halftone is definitely, definitely a use-sparingly thing. It can really add to the feel of a comic (9 Chickweed Lane does a lovely job of using it only where needed, and Pearls Before Swine is pretty good about it too,) but if you’re not careful it can overpower the reader and obscure everything else about the art (see: For Better Or For Worse, recent years.)
As far as good manga goes, it depends on what sort of stories you enjoy, but I’ve been having a blast reading Ah! My Goddess. Kosuke Fujishima’s art is beautiful (another example of good halftone,) and he manages the only genuinely likeable, relatable harem-comedy protagonist I’ve ever read. The other characters, even the antagonists, are tons of fun to follow, too.
Frank Parsnip
April 24th, 2008 at 9:33 pm
Americans get Japanese manga through a massive filter — pretty much every day on my commute to work here, I’m on the subway near guys in suits reading the stuff that hasn’t yet been determined good enough for an “international” (i.e., English-reading) audience yet. It’s not all alien tentacled fuckmonsters, but a significant number of panels seem to involve young teens not wearing clothes. If Americans had any idea the massive amounts of coal that has to be sifted to find a few “diamonds,” they might have a different view.
“Manga” may have a literal meaning in Japanese as “comics,” but to the rest of the world (except the Chinese, who use the identical characters to call comics “man-hua”) it serves as a reference point to refer to the Japanese comics. “Faux-manga” should be a perfectly good term to refer to comics drawn to imitate the Japanese style.
In the same way, it is true that spaghetti and linguini are nothing more than noodles — and yet if you get “linguini” in a restaurant you would normally expect it to be within an Italian context. If soba noodles were substituted, would it be fair to call that “faux-Italian”? Perhaps. Or you could try to argue that “noodles are noodles”.
As a sidenote, if “Princes Ai” is really based on the life and loves of Courtney Love, then when are they going to get to the juicy stuff? The English paper here runs Tokyopop every Sunday, and Princes Ai is slower than Rex Morgan.
Quinn Danova
April 24th, 2008 at 9:36 pm
I was referring to “Amerimanga” or..whatever. I read a lot of Japanese manga, and I’ve branched out to manwha (Korean manga). I get Shojobeat monthly, and..ah..I have to confess I read magical girl, vampire, and fantasy manga. I never claimed I have sophisticated tastes! I love Dragon Knights by Mineko Ohkami, Fruits Basket, and someday my budget will allow me to pick up more of Fullmetal Alchemist.
There’s a wide range of styles that fall under the “manga” heading from nearly abstract, to rounded and realistic, to..well..Moe, so I wish I knew why most American manga looks nearly the same!!! Someday I think we’ll be able to add our unique American aesthetic views. Tokyopop’s OEL stuff reminds me of a toddler’s first steps, I guess. I have to be optimistic about the industry, otherwise I may as well get a head start on my artistic self-loathing crisis. Maybe I should start seeing ghosts…
commodorejohn
April 24th, 2008 at 9:44 pm
#196 Quinn Danova – I don’t think you need to worry about being called unsophisticated in a community of people who read sexual innuendos into fifty-year-old comic strips ;)
Quinn Danova
April 24th, 2008 at 9:52 pm
195-I have to admit, you’ve got me. “Faux manga” is perfectly acceptable in that sense. But what you call the work of someone influenced by manga that has gone beyond just imitating the style? Describing a comic that takes the visual cues and symbols of manga and incorporate it into an original, personal style as “faux manga” is pretty insulting. It implies a lack of quality when compared to the original article.
That’s why using Amerimanga, faux manga, or any other term is such a loaded subject with me. It divides good from bad based just on national origin even though, as you’ve stated, there’s plenty of crap on both sides of the Pacific. There might be perfectly good works (in the future) that’re passed by because someone says “bleargh! This was made in America, it sucks!!!!”
I
Tweeks_Coffee
April 24th, 2008 at 10:15 pm
#193, 196 Well if I understand (apologies if I don’t), you’re looking for American graphic novels. Well my personal favorite is Squee! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Squee Excellent, excellent book. Rather dark comedy stuff, so you’d better like that stuff. Anything by Roman Dirge would be in the same vein if you do like that. That’s about all I know, sadly.
Elektro
April 24th, 2008 at 10:16 pm
#115. Cartoonists don’t even try anymore, do they? It’s hacks like the guy who draws Redeye that make me wonder why the hell I’m getting into this business.
Arcenciel
April 24th, 2008 at 10:35 pm
This is Quinn-I’m apparently now a spammer. Hopefully my post will get restored. I basically said that yes “Faux manga” sounds like an appropriate term for works that imitate manga but progress no further. It seems like a very insulting name for artists that incorporate manga elements but develop beyond imitation since it implies a lack of quality in comparison to the “real thing”. I’m a geek and I know how elitist they can be. I don’t think the good artists that will appear should be overlooked because their work isn’t from Japan.
I do read some American comics but they’re all “Indie”. Speaking of labels, what does “Indie” mean, aside from “not mainstream”? Nebulous terms abound, I guess! I’ve read Blankets, Creature Tech, Mouse Guard, Understanding Comics, and Watchmen.
I read the last too simply to say that I had, since they’re apparently part of a well-rounded sequential art diet.
Seriously, when I took a tour of the school I’m going to attend one of the other students looked at my tag which stated my major as “sequential art” and said “Wow, you must be a Scott McCloud fan, huh?”
All I could think of was “Isn’t he that guy the Penny Arcade guys hate?”.
Baron Von Foobenstein
April 24th, 2008 at 10:41 pm
Family Circus — Did Lynnuck Johnston write this??
Niall
April 24th, 2008 at 10:47 pm
Hmm. Peach Fuzz started as the winner of one of the Rising Stars compilation contests; and as a small story, it did its work. I could not see it continued as full books. And it definitely overscreened.
I think my personal favourites of the “amerimanga” would be the Antarctic Press stuff – the earlier Ninja High School that had zaniness, at first heavily satired then branched out into their own (sort of a Cerebus Syndrome), though the continuous change in writers hampered it. Gold Digger, on the other hand, has always been Fred Perry’s baby, and the man is completely insane – he could give Toriyama a few lessons on powering-up characters over time, except his remain likeable. :)
There’s a definite “North American style” for comic strips which is tough to break. My Cage is one of a few that definitely try something different, and the writing helps tremendously in hopefully getting it a better foothold. Kids won’t get it, but frankly, what kid will get Mary Worth? The Phantom? Even Dennis the Menace?? (He made no sense to me as a kid… or now…)
True Fable
April 24th, 2008 at 10:51 pm
#199 Elektro – Comics like Redeye and for that matter, Beetle Bailey, Hi & Lois, Dennis the Menace, Blondie, ad nauseum – are PRECISELY the reason you should get into the comics business. Don’t get me wrong, I respect the hell out of cartoonists because hey, they are on the page and I’m not. But when you see comics that you don’t like or seem outdated or jaded or flat, that’s when you need to step forward and offer an alternative to the syndicates. And good luck!
True Fable
April 24th, 2008 at 10:57 pm
#197 commodorejohn –
Damn straight; call us pervs as God intended. I mean, accuracy is everything. :P
Arcenciel
April 24th, 2008 at 10:59 pm
I think I’m in love with True Fable. Isn’t that illegal in some states?
The Spectacular Spider-Brick, Decreer of Things
April 24th, 2008 at 11:11 pm
Continuing re: Manga… I remember reading something years back about the four stages of technology. The first stage is Introduction, also known as the “Ain’t It Cool,” “Propellerhead,” or “Gee Whiz” stage, when it’s generally good enough to see whatever-it-is do what it does. It doesn’t have to do it well or be particularly useful. (Think of the Wright Brothers’ Flyer at Kitty Hawk, or maybe the TRS-80 Model I.) The second stage is Infiltration, when the new technology is put to a useful purpose, rather than just being ogled at for the cool factor, but it is still used by a limited sector and has not gained a foothold among the general populace yet. (To continue with the previous analogy, airplanes reached this stage in World War I, with the first air combat.) It is when a “killer app” for the technology is discovered that it enters this third stage, Acceptance. This is when the technology becomes widespread throughout the general public. Automobiles, planes, personal computers, and cell phones are just a few examples of technologies that are today at this stage. The fourth stage is transparency, when the technology becomes so fully integrated into our everyday lives that we notice it only when it is absent, like running water, electricity, the telephone, and the condom.
The reason I bring this up and subject you to this lengthy discursion is because I think these four stages apply to other things besides technology. I think it applies to basically anything introduced new into a society, such as manga. In Japan, manga is ubiquitous — stage 3, and some might argue for stage 4. But in America, manga is barely out of the propellerhead stage. For now, for a large segment of the consumer public, it’s enough that manga is manga. That’s how crap like Princess Ai gets printed. The quality (or lack of it) is overcome by the fact that cool, it’s manga! However, that cool factor is wearing off as more people get exposed to it and the market is flooded with a wide selection of product, of all quality levels, and Sturgeon’s Law rears its head. In stage 2, customers become picky, and while many are still discovering manga for the first time and buying indiscriminately, the early adopters now know enough about the medium to discerningly pick and choose. Soon it will no longer be good enough just to be manga; companies are going to have to start putting out good manga to survive. This is the quality jump Quinn Danova spoke of. Once high quality is the goal rather than a lucky happenstance, eventually, someone will produce the “killer app” — the work that brings manga to the mainstream, like Elvis and The Beatles did for rock and roll. It’s not on the horizon yet; there is still much shaking out to be done, and manga isn’t taken seriously enough yet for auteurs capable of producing such works to have entered the field. (Note that I mean that when referring to American writers and artists; Japan has their auteurs, but for cultural reasons, their success won’t translate into the same over here.)
And Quinn, if you do start seeing ghosts, keep drawing your comics. It did wonders for LuAnn Powers’ artistic career, and all she paints is watercolor daisies!
True Fable, Goat Assessor
April 24th, 2008 at 11:17 pm
# 205 Spectacular Spider-Brick – Well said. No wonder you are the Decreer of Things.
For that grand essay, you win an adorable picture!
Oh, it’s good to be Decreer! :-)
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
April 24th, 2008 at 11:19 pm
Hmp. Forgot to take the “Decreer of Things” off my name again. My apologies to anyone who read my previous post expecting a Decree.
Wait, I can fix it… uh… I decree… um, how to phrase… that manga in the United States is going through the same stages of acceptance as a new technology! There. Happy?
The Spectacular Spider-Brick, Decreer of Things
April 24th, 2008 at 11:24 pm
True Fable, Goat Assessor @ 206: Boy, do you know your stuff! Those two are just the sweetest things! I hereby decree those to be the cutest goats ever! No, I will brook no dissent on this, I am the Decreer of Things and I said EVER!
Lisa
April 24th, 2008 at 11:24 pm
(when you see comics that you don’t like or seem outdated or jaded or flat, that’s when you need to step forward and offer an alternative to the syndicates. And good luck)
Yeah, good luck, since it is the newspaper syndicates that keep comics moribund on the page that should have been euthanized decades ago…. Mary Worth, Rex Morgan, et al., I am talking to you!
Arcenciel
April 24th, 2008 at 11:26 pm
I..ah…think I might be hot for True Fable and Spider Brick. Isn’t that illegal in some states?
Is this “Four stages of Technology” an essay? I’d love a link–I hope to go to graduate school and I think you just helped me with my thesis!
I’m also in stage 3, btw. I’m very, very picky. There are plenty of series-Chibi Vampire, D.N.Angel, etc. of which I only have one volume.
BlueNight
April 24th, 2008 at 11:35 pm
“…And then there are those who will break you just for the heck of it, or peel off your wrapper and melt you in the summer sun. Oh, that reminds me. Kids, I smell rubber burning.”
Nekrotzar
April 24th, 2008 at 11:35 pm
I decree that I prefer Alpacas.
True Fable
April 24th, 2008 at 11:48 pm
PBS I laughed myself silly over Friday’s offering. It’s crafted entirely from Win.
FBoFW On the other hand, Lynn Johnston’s stock in trade, the “your first love is your only twoo wuv” continues to bash its way up Captain Obvious’s driveway. Oh, GEE, April, thanks for letting Gerald know he has been approved of once again, and you’ll let little ol’ him be contacted by Wonderful You.
There you have it, sportsfans – the Best and the Worst of the Comics today.
Elektro
April 25th, 2008 at 12:28 am
#204. Don’t get me wrong: I love making cartoons and would love to get published someday, but looking at some of the cartoons that are shown on here can discourage me because it makes me think that any old crap can get published nowadays. However, comics like Lio and PBS always cheer me up a bit.
By the way, just to plug my cartoons:
http://www.myspace.com/tkpsychward/
I know it isn’t much of a site, but it’s the best a young cartoonist like me can do.
Poteet
April 25th, 2008 at 12:32 am
4/25 GA — As if Sturdevant didn’t look bizarre enough, he suddenly aged about thirty years. And is it Sturdivant or Sturdevant? That may rank as the most pathetic question I’ll ask all week.
RMMD — I think this particular strip just begs for the magic of Bats. Does Count Morgu ever hold his head up straight?
A3G — I bet there’s a printmaker somewhere on CC. Is it really that much fun, or is Jack Davis on drugs?
bats :[
April 25th, 2008 at 12:36 am
TGIFunnies:
PBS: yay!
JP: yeah, yeah, and I know a number of guys here are hoping tomorrow’s run to the store is done in excruciating sloooooow motion…
MT: okay, a few months ago, I’m pretty sure Dr. Drew Cory (Manwhore!) was chatting on the phone and sitting in the exact same posture! Do guys assume this position? Really?
Mutts: yay for Shtinky Puddin’!
RMMD: Rex has a “light morning”? Rex has patients?!? Good heavens!
FOOB: little do you realize, Gerald, that that “far off day” will never come…in a few months, you will be frozen in the present forever by the Creatrix! With any luck, you’ll be in bed, giving it good and hard to Becca. There’s probably worse ways to spend eternity…
Farley's Revenge
April 25th, 2008 at 12:44 am
PBS: BWAHAHAHA! If only Pastis drew Family Circle!
Vakar
April 25th, 2008 at 12:44 am
#218: MT: I’ll bet guys would assume this posture if we had a picture contest! (Otherwise, no, they don’t.)
bats :[
April 25th, 2008 at 12:44 am
Something to tide over the slavering mob until the CDC rep shows up…
http://www.flickr.com/photos/9545446@N07/2438756855/sizes/o/
Vakar
April 25th, 2008 at 12:49 am
#221: Love the poster! Still laughing! Must… not… wake… toddler…
Lisa
April 25th, 2008 at 12:58 am
Interesting panel to panel movement on 9CL….
Oh, and I think that the watch cap hatted dog in PBS with the stroinje accent is a ripoff of a character on The Last of the Summer Wine…. a Britcom of long standing. The character I am thinking of is no longer on the show, because the actor portraying him died. So they had the character die and one whole show was about his funeral. Seems the actor wanted to be buried in the town they shot the show in. Very sweet. But, to the point, the character wore a hat like that and never bathed and was rather batty….
True Fable
April 25th, 2008 at 1:00 am
Friday snark.
BB Oral gratification.
Blondie All the food sites? What, does he just sit and stare at food on the monitor all day? Maybe he’s ruined too many keyboards with drool? Or he treats food sites like porn sites and gets off on seeing certain meals? This makes no sense but then, it IS Blondie and it IS referring to modern technology without understanding it at all.
Cathy (Must Die!) Starburst, FrazzleBrain indicators, Slow Burn mark.
Curtis Good lord, man; sit down. At least he’s not dealing drugs or cheating on tests or beating up people for kicks. There’s a lot worse he could do than sell Ho-Ho’s at twice the price.
DtM Yeah, look at all the mold around his mouth and feet! Ewww!
(WT)DT No, I don’t understand it at all but I never could tear myself away from train wrecks.
FC Check with Curtis, I think he’s holding.
FBoFW Interesting how April’s always got her mouth open like that around Gerald. Hmmm.
FW And she’s still married to this toxic waste?
GF Dammit, Darby – dump the cockney cat already. He’s too fucking BORING.
(WTF)GT OMG the angles, the ANGLES! How many perspectives does it take to draw that third panel?
Scenes from Suburban Hell Once more, Hi gets his balls handed to him.
JP Hell-O puppies! Long time, no see!
Lola So why can Lola say ‘anal’ but Jeremy of Zits can’t say ’suck’? It is a directional issue?
Luann Bernice ALMOST came out even as she described her ideal beard.
MT Mark Trail has a cell phone? I bet the number is 1-800-1SK-WERL.
Marmadick Let’s allow them a private moment, shall we?
Marvin What the hell, is there a new artist or has Marvin undergone an overhaul?
MW Panel One Guy is enjoying his moment of glory – hey! Don’t Look at the Camera!!
RMMD Listen! It’s the voice of reason in panel three saying, “Stop telling this half-assed story!”
S-M Those guard towers are obviously just for show. pffft.
Zits Pretty good today, actually.
Alfred E. Neuman
April 25th, 2008 at 1:09 am
Friday quickies
FC— Jeffy, when you grow up, you’ll learn that you have to be patient when you run out of white stuff.
PBS— Perfect! Pastis has been setting us up all week for this one.
JP— Considering all of the positions she is capable of assuming, Abby should open a yoga studio, preferably one specializing in kama sutra.
Diamond Joe
April 25th, 2008 at 1:16 am
BB: I could swear I’ve seen this “quantity is quality” joke in some other strip in the fairly recent past. Can anyone remember which it was?
Crankshaft: I’ve got it. This plotline is to make us all cry out in blessed relief when the strip goes back to ‘Shaft being gratuitously snide to people. For the duration, Batuik should rename the strip See? It Could Be Worse.
Curtis: Wait wait wait wait. All this buildup, and they waste the big surprise on the second damn panel?! It’s as though, midway through one of the interviews, someone told Thompson, “Oh, did I tell you Rosebud was his sled? Anyway…”
DtM: “Oh, and watch out for the colony of staph bacteria growing in his nose.”
DT: Well, someone had a big ol’ bowl of Stupid Flakes this morning. “Why, yes, Liz… standing in front of him, I shot him in the back. Brilliant detective work. No wonder you’re the chief of police. Kee-rist!” And then comes Liz’s second brainstorm, “SWAT teams don’t carry bows and arrows!” At least, now that Lector’s been flailing around for four or five minutes, it occurs to Police Defective Tracy that perhaps they ought to help him. They’ve really got to cut out the crack-frosted donuts down at the precinct.
Foob: “Let’s be friends forever and ever and ever, so I can always be there to belittle and insult you from an unearned position of moral superiority.” “Oh, yes, let’s! Tea?”
GT: With a diamond tilted about 70 degrees upward from home plate, it must be a hell of a run to first base.
JPT&A: As of panel 2, this strip is officially back in my good graces.
Lola: What with Arlo & Janis’ handcuffs, Tiger Woods’ balls, and now “anal,” this is going to be a bumper month for irate letters to the editor.
MF: [Snark redacted to obviate necessity of reading strip.]
Marvin: And he looks so traumatized by it all, doesn’t he?
MW: “Hey, folks! Doctor Howdy Doody here. Get a load of the completely yellow sandwich I’m eating! Now on to today’s strip!”
Momma: So the joke is that Murray has Asperger’s Syndrome and is blind to the emotional content of “brace yourself”?
MG&G: Man, I make a joke about Howdy Doody, and Mike Peters’ got to steal my thunder!
Mutts: Somehow, this quote reminds me of the assholes with bumper stickers on their Nissan Armadas that say “I’m Changing the Climate!”
PMP: Man, Mike Peters makes a joke about Pinocchio, and Vic Lee’s got to steal his thunder!
Phantom: So if the Phantom appears, but they didn’t see him, whose flashback is this?
Pluggers: Brookins faked us out! This isn’t any of the Spider-Brick Six! Maybe we should add “6a) unimpressed by that high-falutin’ ‘technology.’”
PC: Oh, now that they think it’s stopped, Republicans believe there was global warming. And unlike global warming, for which they demanded an impossible degree of certitude, ten years of statistics make an ironclad case that it’s stopped.
RM: See, if the kids were in school, Rex couldn’t talk to them. The terms of his sentence only specifically mentioned schools.
SH: Yes, as we know, cats never eat plants.
Shoe: That’s not a bizarrely extreme reaction shot. Shoe’s just having an M.I.
S-M: I suppose Drago is right. When the tower guards shoot him down, I guess they’ll return the body to his family.
actually amused me: Bizarro, Close to Home (!), Pearls Before Swine
PeterW
April 25th, 2008 at 1:19 am
So everybody’s freaking out over the other day’s “let go of the knob” in FBOFW. I didn’t realize so many British people (Britons?) and Canadians frequented this site. I know the strip is set in Canada and written by a Canadian, but here in the USA, we only know “knob” as a euphemism because of imports from Britain and Canada. And we don’t pay that much attention to anything outside the country (unless it scares us).
Arcenciel
April 25th, 2008 at 1:29 am
217-Aside from being an aficionado of manga, I am in fact a printmaker! I have done screenprinting, lithography, linoleum prints, and woodblock prints.
In many cases, the chemicals used to clean the inks and utensils can be..interesting. While doing linoleum prints I became good friends with turpentine and its calorie-free substitute, turpenoid.
When doing screenprints, the stencils were affixed with acetone. So yes, in an enclosed area with poor air circulation, printmaking can be a blast!
On an odd note, when a classmate of mine had to get cheesecloth at Wal-Mart to clean her etching plates, they wouldn’t let her have it in the quantity she wanted. Something about being able to use it to make meth?
Mibbitmaker
April 25th, 2008 at 2:10 am
Friday, April 25, 2008, whatever time it’ll say by the time I finally click “post”:
A3G: “…That is, until I got a call from a new outfit called EC comics yesterday…”
Archie: “…unless it’s in Garfield, of course.”
BBailey: Waaaaaaaaaaaaaay too suggestive, Sarge!
FOOB: April, you’re making some random overweight guy with a bad comb-over and a loud tie very happy!
FW: Now Funky’s becoming Angelica’s mom on “Rugrats”.
GA: A thumb erection?? Well…. now I’ve seen everything! *POW!* (flies backwards) BEEwwwwwwwwwwwOOP! (Iris out) (Looney Tunes closing theme c. 1944)
JP: OMIGOD, SHE’S GOING TO CLICK HER OFF LIKE A TV PROGRAM!!!
MW: Yes, Mary, you’ve told them about 50 times by now! Why can’t you at least listen to his point before berating the idiot? — And you two! Extras! STOP looking at the CAMERA, already! *sighhh!* At least electric blue man, there, is doing his freakin’ job! Good work, blue.
Ghost-Who-Is-He: That’s who.
RMMD:
“….. Plastics.”
“Hey, ’60s movie character: get lost! We’ve got a 2008 comic strip to run here!”
The… Mind of Edison Lee: “Tired??? Hell, son, you‘ve switched ideologies! Just PLEEEASE tell me you’re not growing feathers!!”
Frank Parsnip
April 25th, 2008 at 2:38 am
bats (221): good lord, you are talented! You took that out and brought it home in style!
Re: “faux manga” — It is probably fair to call the large amount of ersatz-Japanese stuff (i.e., Japanese-style art, Japanese themes, Japanese humor but with American involvement) this, but for artists and writers who truly create something of their own it is a label that need not apply.
Taking “My Cage” as an example, it’s got a Japanese style to the art but there are no Japanese themes (nobody carries a katana about, tends to their bonsai or peeps at naked prepubscent girls), no bogus oriental mysticism (nobody who is supposed to be knowledgeable actually is, including the boss, the therapist, etc.), and everybody is identifiably “North American” in their humor, reactions and behavior.
A3G: Good points to Jack Davis, the printmaker include that he is the first man other than Blaze to have dark hair and yet doesn’t wear cowboy outfits. Bad points are that he has the doll’s-hair look of a hair-transplant recipient.
MT: “Oh, so you want me to bring over another dog? Lemme stop by the pound on my way over.”
MW: In panel 1, that has to be the world’s happiest hamburger customer. Good to see the hospital doesn’t give in to those vegan terrorists and has maintained its full roster of doughnuts, hamburgers and other goodies intended to keep patients and staff fat and happy!
Funky Winkerbean: Funky has to go to their Columbus and New York locations to personally close some more high-powered pizza deals. Montoni’s is the only pizza place in the world where they can’t simply take phoned-in pizza orders and must have a face-to-face discussion.
Sex Organ, M.D.: The “kids” don’t count as being part of the “families” that Rex is supposed to talk with? Oh, right, Count Olaf is talking about the Baudelaire orphans again…
PBS: That rocked.
Bonnie & BooBoo: And she let him in anyway?
Jugs Parker: My quick take on the 3 panels: Abbeytastic, Abbeytastic, Ewwww…
GT: Elmer Vargas appears to be played this week by a 44-year-old Jose Canseco.
Blondie: Those “food sites” Dagwood craves basically provide continuous homages to that Herb Alpert album cover with different substances.
Arglebargle
April 25th, 2008 at 2:41 am
Well, buck my futt and call me Weemo. It am Friday!
Sally Forth: Well, good on you for making the point, if not for telling a joke. At least it takes the piss out of that ignorant Mallard Fillmore (I know, “ignorant” is redundant, right?) from two days ago, in which Earth Day celebrations supposedly generate tons of fuming garbage rather than planted trees and picked-up beaches.
Luann: Bernice and Gunther had a thing going? Wow, Evans is digging up prehistory now. Maybe he should’ve developed this plot line instead of repeating the Brad-Dirk hostilities for–what, four years? (P.S. to Bernice: you and Zane are also over and done with for years. You’re just asking for it now.)
RMMD: And here come the lawyers!! Will they have long mustaches that they twirl while cackling evilly? I still don’t know why Rex and June are there; emotional support for Count Morgu? (I went back and checked “The Origin Of Count Morgu,” BTW. Somebody owes me a Coke and some clean pants.)
Garfield: Jon has apparently suffered head trauma. Now call her a w***e and throw her out, Jon! Tell everyone you’re happy living alone with your slobbering idiot dog and abusive cat! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it!
Lio: Wow, getting bold there. And how’d Pig’s cat get into your strip, kid?
Mordock999
April 25th, 2008 at 4:17 am
Luann – 04/25/08 – Argggh!! Luann, for God’s sake! You’ve almost got your fist balled up in the last panel. Now take aim and punch that mouthy bitch right in the nose! Jeeez…,
PS: Did I miss a strip? What happened to Gunther’s glasses?
____________
DEATH to TJ!
Mr. O'Malley
April 25th, 2008 at 4:27 am
Even with a cat in your lap, work can get tedious. Comics time at last!
223. Lisa. According to the BBC, Last of the Summer Wine is not only “of long standing” but “the world’s longest-running sitcom” (started in 1973). And it’s only had one writer all that time.
Much as I like the show, I don’t quite see the parallel between Compo Simonite and Mac Manc McManx, aside from the hat. LotSW is very much rooted in Yorkshire, whereas MMMcM is a perverse combination of unconnected regionalisms, bordering on Smokey Stover-like incoherence. And he seldom has near-death experiences.
231. Arglebargle. Lio: You’re right, it does look like Pig’s cat. Awesome.
PBS: What can I say but add my voice to the chorus? Fantastic.
Monty: A psychological analysis of comic book collectors! Batiuk could get a few ideas from this.
Preteena: “Anal” in Lola and now voyeurism! The comics page is turning into a den of iniquity!
ZtP: I read it every day and let you know whenever something happens there. Today Griffy has it in for Garfield.
daninoz
April 25th, 2008 at 5:22 am
Family Circus – Grandma has similar tales about candles, U-boater sweaters and gold fillings.
lostsynapse
April 25th, 2008 at 5:56 am
Mallard is taking the initiative on getting itself banned in China. 1 down, 194 to go. Or, if I may make a suggestion, just stopping creating it in the first place.
John C Fremont
April 25th, 2008 at 5:59 am
# 218 (Bats :[ ) – Regarding JP… Yup. (Also laughed hysterically at #221!)
A3G – Jack Davis explains… Hmm. No wonder Eric trusts him.
Foob – Thorax?
MW – That guy is really enjoying that burger, but I wish he’d stop staring at me.
(I was so sure I’d be the only one to hone in on Burger Boy. I was wrong. Dead wrong. Oh well, it’s not like I can delete my comment before I click Post, right? What?)
PBS – Hee, hee!!
RMMD – That Andy just gets weirder and weirder looking. I don’t think I trust him. He is no Jack Davis.
GT – Marty Moon looks like – well, like he’s never looked before. Meanwhile, the guy behind him sneezes.
Have I ended the thread yet?
F. Cecious Lee
April 25th, 2008 at 6:07 am
GT: Chenango Forks is just outside Binghamton, NY. I was just there last month. I haven’t been in Milford, NY in several years. Maybe I’ll make the drive down there and see if I can find “The Bucket”.
Took a scenic drive through Utica on Easter, past the Utica Brewing Company, home of Utica Club, Fort Schuyler, Matt’s Premium and Saranac Beers. They also do contract brewing for several other companies. Matt’s used to be my beer of choice, but if you had to get it fresh, the penalty was the “Matt’s Splats”.
Utica looks just as run down as it did when I lived there in the 80’s and early 90’s.
One-eyed Wolfdog
April 25th, 2008 at 6:21 am
MRSA sucks, I’m pissed, and nothing’s funny today.
One-eyed Wolfdog
April 25th, 2008 at 6:46 am
Oh, also Ozy and Millie’s coming to an end. I knew it would eventually, but it still sucks.
True Fable
April 25th, 2008 at 7:08 am
#206 arcenceil – Since you obviously have good taste :D, I’m sure you will appreciate this.
Red Hot Fable Love is a state of mind, legal or not ;-)
Calico
April 25th, 2008 at 7:22 am
#228 – Re: the meth, you’d have to ask Billy Keane, who has a meth lab in his cartoon bedroom.
Welcome and I love your screen name – “Rainbow.”
Calico
April 25th, 2008 at 7:25 am
FC – Speaking of the Keanes, today’s circle really does snark inself, but in a dirty dirty way.
One question-was it a Double Stuf®?
RM – Nothing Rex would like more than to go to where the boyz all hang out.
AhClem
April 25th, 2008 at 7:25 am
#223 Lisa -
You must be referring to “Compo”, played by the late great Bill Owen. LOTSW is a great show, and holds the distinction of being the longest-running sitcom ever (It started in 1973 and is still in production). Unfortunately, since my local PBS station moved if from evenings to mid-day, I’m not able to watch it.
LTBF
April 25th, 2008 at 7:29 am
Bernice..”Gunther is a nerd and not exciting”
Mr. Kettle, you have a message waiting for you from Miss Pot.
Jonny Quest
April 25th, 2008 at 7:50 am
Judge Parker: Abbey Spencer twisting and bending while wearing a tight sweater. Life is good. Does anyone else think that Marie looks like Gloria with freckles?
Joe, Upper-Evergreen FOOB-basher
April 25th, 2008 at 7:53 am
PBS: DAMN I LOVE THIS STRIP!!!!!!!! (except when the stupid “crumma-bumma-mumma” crocodiles appear)
FOOB: Oh, no you don’t Lynn! Those kids still have a year of high school left! Skank.
Two I
April 25th, 2008 at 7:57 am
Alfred E Neuman has a jump on the hit of the day. Mr Keane, you really need to think these things through.
Two I
April 25th, 2008 at 8:01 am
Er, I actually meant this one.
“Daddy, can it have more?”
The Spectacular Spider-Brick, Decreer of Things
April 25th, 2008 at 8:02 am
C’Shaft: Note to Mr. Tom Batiuk: Hi. Something I’ve been meaning to tell you. Surrounding an unlikeable character with characters who are even more hateful does not make the first character appear more likeable by contrast. Just because he isn’t the most awful person in the strip doesn’t make him not awful. Thought you should know. Thanks ever so much. Signed, The Spectacular Spider-Brick
DtM: Look at that poor dog cringe. Looks like they had to take him to the vet because Dennis has been force-feeding him wasabi again. Now that’s menacing.
(WT)DT: Well, I suppose it’s something that Dick and Liz are as confused by this plotline as I am.
Garfield: Alternate Panel 3 dialogue: “How about wrapping those lips around my pepperoni?” Ah, a man can dream.
GA: Well, I seen him kiss her fast in her bridesmaid’s dress
In the room where you do what you don’t confess
Sturdevant, you better take care
If Amanda finds you creepin’ ’round Ada’s stairs.
thorps: That’s not Marty Moon; it’s not even Evil Spock. That’s Silent Bob. I think I will enjoy Gil Thorp a lot more now that I can imagine it as a Kevin Smith movie.
JP: Unfortunately for Marie, there’s only one hospital in Comicsland. Mary Worth
meddlesvolunteers there, Rex Morganpracticeshas an office there, Tommie Thompson… uh… does something there, and Lisa Moore was misdiagnosed there. This means that the films of Marie’s ankle were probably mixed up with another patient’s, and that ineffectual bandage is wrapped around a seriously commutated fracture of both the tibia and fibula. Blood will pool in the damaged tissues, and eventually necrosis will set in, resulting in the loss of the lower leg. Then Sam will introduce her to Steve Shannon, who will help her acclimate to being an amputee. Inevitably, they will fall in love, and have hot, hot, tender, caring, and hot amputee sex. Did I mention it would be hot?Oh, and Abbey, you didn’t have to bend from the hips to pick up the remote, but you did anyway. Thank you.
Monty: But… will they stick with it? I hope they do, at least long enough to explore the change’s implications and comedic possibilities, instead of making the sudden family a throwaway gag. However, the new wife’s reaction to the comic book makes me think Monty’s heading for a realization that he was happier before. That’s too bad. Monty, there are a few things I wouldn’t give up for a little hot blonde nookie, but comic books and Star Trek are not among them.
Pluggers: Diamond Joe @ 226 is right! I completely forgot about “technologically inept.” Okay, that’s #7.
Marmaduke: Speaking of Pluggers snark-by-the-numbers, here’s the same principle applied to everyone’s least favorite Great Dane: “Ha ha! Marmaduke sure is ______!”
1) big
ZtP: Bill Griffith references Garfield Minus Garfield! And based on the lead time for a typical comic strip (six to eight weeks), Griffith drew this strip right about the same time we were discussing it on this blog. And since everyone who flunked logic class knows that correlation implies causality, he must have heard about it here! Bill Griffith is a Curmudgeon! One of us! One of us! We accept you! Gooble gobble! Gooble gobble!
Ziggy: Tom Wilson is not one of us. We do not accept you. Gooble go away now.
John C Fremont
April 25th, 2008 at 8:04 am
MT – Wait, Mark Trail uses a cell phone? It’s probably some huge thing with a dial.
MW – The background guy in the second panel, the one that looks vaguely like Allan Lane. I’ll bet he sounds just like Droopy Dog as he looks at us and says, “Hello, folks.”
Phantom – So flashback panels are shaped like corner jigsaw puzzle pieces. Every day I learn something new.
John C Fremont
April 25th, 2008 at 8:09 am
# 249 (TSS-B,DoT) – “Gooble go away now,” made me laugh like a – uh, well, like a pinhead!
Harry Worth
April 25th, 2008 at 8:21 am
Go to the Bum Boat Hospital Cafeteria.
A place so happy even the hamburgers smile back at you.
True Fable
April 25th, 2008 at 8:21 am
#212 arcenceil – Come sit with me over here in the corner, sweetcakes, and let’s talk some Trigun manga and some Excel Saga. You know – mayhem and stuff.
It’s Friday and we’ve got so many comic strips busy bee-grinding, I’m downright aghast at the high concentration of buzzing. Maybe Monday will see the plots stagger forward but I’m not going to bet the goat farm on it.
Doug Puthoff
April 25th, 2008 at 8:23 am
4-25
FC–No, Jeffy, you can’t have anymore. Haven’t you heard of the Food Tsunami, you fat, selfish pig! We’re going to have to send you to a camp to change your thinking.
PBS–WOOHOO! This is want to see! One down, three to go!
gkl
April 25th, 2008 at 8:23 am
GA: Why exactly are the Pye boys shocked at this? They’ve never met Sturdivant, and I don’t think they’ve seen Amanda Lynn in years, so as far as they can tell, they’re seeing two random people kiss. Also, why is Ada wasting time being surprised when she should be kneeing Sturdivant in his Kleeb.
GT: This new artist really enjoys drawing impact lines, eh?
The Spectacular Spider-Brick, Decreer of Things
April 25th, 2008 at 8:25 am
arcenciel wrote:
No, though it is inadvisable. Especially since you’re (presumably) a human female, and I’m… well… a brick.
AtomicDog of the Space-Time Patrol
April 25th, 2008 at 8:32 am
PBS: YES! YES!! YES!!!
commodorejohn
April 25th, 2008 at 8:33 am
#216 Elektro – Don’t let yourself get down; while the fact that, as you state, any old crap can get published is not so great for the readers of the funnies, it does give aspiring comic artists (of which we seem to have a surfeit here) a great opportunity; if frickin’ The Argyle Sweater can get published, there’s no reason any of us shouldn’t be able to make it with a little perseverance. Keep honing your art and writing and give it a shot; maybe you’ll get lucky!
#239 One-Eyed Wolfdog – I just saw that today. On the one hand, it’s a shame to lose one of the best webcomics out there, but on the other, at least he’s carrying his modeling himself on Bill Watterson to its conclusion and going out with style.
AS – Today’s Argyle Sweater was also moderately amusing, ergo it must have been ripped from somewhere else. But far funnier is the fact that this is one Argyle Sweater that would actually have been better served by the ubiquitous caption box, instead of the speech balloon we got.
Blondie – Dagwood gets off on looking at food. I’m sure there’s a site out there for that, but I’m sure as hell not going to be the one to find it.
Curtis – God almighty, what is your problem, Mr. WIlkins? Curtis tries to get his classmates food they actually like and you act like you caught him sodomizing Barry while snorting cocaine off a hooker’s ass. Is it the space rays from the mothership in panel four that are making you such a self-righteous asshole?
DT – I love the way the speech-bubble trails in the last panel take sudden curves to avoid intersecting the…whatever those white splotches are. Also, Dick’s expression in panel two is made all the more hilarious by the fact that the collar of the armor makes it look like he’s in a de-helmeted space suit.
FC – *snerk*
FOOB – Blah blah nobody in their teens talks this way and HOLY CRAP IS THAT THORAX!? I look forward to having someone in this strip spouting incomprehensible nonsense that’s actually occasionally funny.
GA – OH WHAT THE HELL I DID NOT NEED TO SEE THAT
GT – Oh, panels one and three are just beautiful. A floating outfielder, people standing at a forty-five degree angle to the ground, and phrases like “rips a two-run double” and “pounds a 3-run homer.” This is just so much better than the Bolle period.
HTH – Holy cow, I think this is actually the first time I can recall seeing an honest-to-God man-on-man battle in Hagar The Horrible. And aside from the obvious lack of blood and gore, it’s not badly done.
JP – Oh, Baretto, you really must love us.
Luann – Holy cow, wish-fulfillment fantasy much, Evans?
MF – Ah, the rare Mallard Fillmore I can actually whole-heartedly agree with.
MT – Actually, “cute” is probably the single least important factor in what people will pay for an animal.
MW – I love how everybody around Mary and her victim is slyly watching, waiting to see what sort of expression a man who’s about to be systematically deconstructed and destroyed by an elderly woman has.
MC – Oh man, these last couple days have been even more awesome than usual.
PBS – And I have to concur with everybody who says today’s Pearls Before Swine is made of win. Because it is.
Preteena – Wow, that got past the syndicate? Nicely done, Allison Barrows.
SFx – It’s the Floating Head of Death!
SM – hahahahahHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Ziggy – Ziggy is so shallow even his misery is boring.
Artist formerly known as Ben
April 25th, 2008 at 8:35 am
4/25
Big Dog: Haven’t we seen this scene before? Only that time it was MJ consoling Peter Parker.
FW: Hey, I just got an insight. It’s starting to look like Funky is too wrapped up in his business to be a good father. Now this point has been put forward with extraordinary subtlety, but if you read it carefully…
BSt: Man-on-dog action spreads to Ballard Street.
DtM: Dennis, Henry, and Ruff guest star on “Gray’s Anatomy.” Is it sweeps week already?
GA: What are you doing with that woman? I ask you, Morton Kondracke!
DT: “We must help him”? Who are you and what have you done with Dick Tracy?
Marvin: It definitely looks like there’s a new artist on the strip. Either that or a wizard has changed Marvin to a short-haired girlchild.
JP: Ah, we get to start the weekend with some gentle femme-dom roleplay.
RMMD: Andy wants to find out where the kids hang out now. For some reason he takes a particular interest in the Baudelaire orphans.
Ziggy: Ziggy is John Mayer?
S-M: Of course, the Vulture wouldn’t leave without his best girl.
Momma: I want to stuff Mary Lou’s new boyfriend into a locker. We can only imagine what Sonya will say.
Cathy: What, Irving and the accountant have digital cable implants in their brains? When did William Gibson take over the writing chores?
A3G: There’s the windup, next comes the pitch. “Wouldn’t you ladies like to live the printmaking dream as well? For a modest investment of two thousand dollars…” Of course Margo has heard all the cons and used them herself, so he’s out of luck there.
H&J: It’s kind of cool that Herb’s car is floating ten inches off the ground. Was he the first on his block to get a hovercraft?
PBS: Hee. Pastis definitely hangs out here, seeing as he made Jeffy the designated victim.
FC: No! No guesses on what the white stuff will be!
PreTeena: When you invent X-ray vision tech, you don’t sell it to horny teenagers so they can look through girls’ dresses. You sell it to Homeland Security, so they can look through girls’ dresses.
TheDiva
April 25th, 2008 at 8:38 am
FW: So Funky’s become The Workaholic Dad Who Has No Time For His Kids (TM). However, unlike most WDWHNTFHK’s in fiction, this is perhaps his strongest asset as a parent. Having turned into such an unmitigated asshole, the best thing he can do is avoid exposing Cory to his damaging influence as much as possible.
Pluggers: Pluggers fail to realize a compass is only useful if you know where the hell you are in the first place.
Dingo
April 25th, 2008 at 8:42 am
Say what you will but I would so do this new version of Marty Moon.
AtomicDog of the Space-Time Patrol
April 25th, 2008 at 8:44 am
Curtis – Dad, overreact much? When my son dealt snacks at military school, I heartily approved of the practice. Less money we had to send him, and it proved that the kid had some initiative.
Widdle Jeffy
April 25th, 2008 at 8:54 am
Sorry, Jeffy.
I don’t think daddy can make any more cream today for your cookies.
Ten times and he is spent for awhile.
Especially the double stuffed ones.
erikagwen
April 25th, 2008 at 9:10 am
#237- “scenic drive through Utica”. . .wait. . .no. . . that’s not possible.
I don’t think I have ever heard “scenic” and “Utica” in the same sentence.
Jeffsterr
April 25th, 2008 at 9:11 am
GT: Varga’s emerges from a trap door to score.
Calico
April 25th, 2008 at 9:14 am
#239 – I don’t know anything about these characters, but they look so cute!
The male looks like SlyFox and Top Cat. Nice. Best of luck to you.
Red Greenback
April 25th, 2008 at 9:21 am
Doctor Sweetie: What’s up with the Morgan Gang, and why do they want to destroy This Guy?
commodorejohn
April 25th, 2008 at 9:26 am
#266 Calico – Let me highly recommend it. Ozy & Millie is one of the best web comics out there.
anonymous
April 25th, 2008 at 9:31 am
The Phantom: (last Sunday’s strip) – I know it’s late, but in last Sunday’s strip the Phantom was standing there in broad daylight in the village and there were some…what, Army guys? CARE guys? some guys in uniforms getting involved, and for the first time I think I can remember, they were goggling at the purple spandex and zebra strip getup on the mysterious masked man. But were afraid to say anything? Because the mystery man was so…mysterious! I cracked up. Mr. Walker, striding about incognito in shades and trench coat is one thing. Showing his fashion-statement outfit in broad daylight to people who are NOT natives (who are familiar with the spectacle) is something else!
Artist formerly known as Ben
April 25th, 2008 at 9:34 am
#231 Arglebargle,
That does both look and act like Pig’s cat. Well, the Eeta Zeeba crocs have already appeared in “Lio”, so it could be intentional.
F Cecious Lee
April 25th, 2008 at 9:39 am
264: A scenic drive doesn’t have to be pretty.
KH
April 25th, 2008 at 9:42 am
#232: Gunther lost the glasses when Tiffany made him over.
Luann 4/25: none of you comic-drawers (comic artists, comic-istas, comic creators) is taking offense at the line drawn between drawing comics and nerd? Comics and geek – yes – but nerd?
PBS: This is twice he has used a full week for a set up to a bash of another strip. Fabulous. I didn’t think anything could top “there goes my icy-cold beverage” as my favorite Pastis line, but “Hasta La Vista, Jeffy” might do it.
FW: We’re in a roughly similar situation here at the 333 house (with the son, 666). I understand annoyed. I even understand angry. Sacastic and bitchy with the school, not so much. But what I can’t get over is why Funky and Holly are so OLD. It’s not like this was a strip about people having their careers and getting pregnant at 35-45. Bi-focals? Cory is just pissed because his parents are fat, grumpy and old. Not just age-old but Crankshaft-old. However, I still think this storyline is going to lead us down some path to clear a hanging “memory.” And yes, I might very well mean literally hanging since it is FW.
Artist formerly known as Ben
April 25th, 2008 at 9:45 am
#230 Frank Parsnip,
Aw, I hoped I was the first one to bring up the Baudelaire Orphans re: Count Morgu. Well, congrats to you.
dimestore lipstick
April 25th, 2008 at 9:50 am
Regarding Last of the Summer Wine–
I love it, because of Peter Sallis. I can listen to Peter Sallis all blooming day. He’s the reason Wallace (Wallace & Gromit) is endearing, and not annoying (well, except to Grommy).
commodorejohn
April 25th, 2008 at 9:51 am
#272 KH – Well, Luann is already nearly as divorced from the real world and real people as For Better Or For Worse, so it’s not really worth our time.
Red Greenback
April 25th, 2008 at 9:52 am
Pluggers: are so fat…they can fuck up a compass! Thankyew, all week, veal, etc.
Comcis Fan
April 25th, 2008 at 9:55 am
#164 KevinJ: Too bad if you missed Thursday’s Pickles. It was excellent in the unintended double meaning department, and I’m frustrated that no one else around here seems to have noticed, in spite of my previous alert!
I Hate Bernice
April 25th, 2008 at 9:56 am
Cole Lector’s got my vote for the “Platoon” Award for Drawn-Out Death Scenes. Usually they’ll go into a soliloquoy for a minute or ten, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen one do tai-chi on the way down.
queek
April 25th, 2008 at 10:06 am
Lio: I took today’s strip as a riff on the “sniper kitty” motivator-meme, but if it is indeed a PBS Kitty riff, then that’s just as good. :-)
MC and PBS: WIN!
MT: that’s it, I quit. The stupidity level of this plotline is off the chart.
Cow&Boy and Zits were amusing today, maybe just because my better-half is in her spring gardening mania phase.
Jeffsterr
April 25th, 2008 at 10:11 am
NY’er Contest:”At first I thought ‘bring your patner to work day’ was a bad idea, but then I warmed up to it.”
Ron Rotten
April 25th, 2008 at 10:25 am
so… does anyone else look at panel 1 of GT and imagine the pitcher making gorilla faces at the batter — who is rightly startled and outraged?
will
April 25th, 2008 at 10:26 am
GA: Creepiest kiss ever.
PBS: Ha.
Beetle Bailey: What’s up with the chaplain’s flashing helmet?
Paul1963
April 25th, 2008 at 10:38 am
Haven’t read today’s Curtis yet, but since it’s Friday and Billingsley has been telegraphing the big reveal I assume that Greg has just learned that his son has become an entrepreneur dealing in completely-legal substances and reacted in a manner completely out of proportion to the situation.
If I had an eleven-year-old kid who was clever enough to work out an operation like this, I’d be proud of him and have very little sympathy for the angry principal.
Astroboy
April 25th, 2008 at 10:40 am
PBS – “Hasta la vista Jeffy!.” Perfect, just perfect.
re: PBS, I notice a lot of anti-crocs sentiment here, but I for one LOVE the crocs…they are the reason I first got into PBS and I still look forward to their every appearance.
commodorejohn
April 25th, 2008 at 10:43 am
#283 Paul1963 – That is indeed what has happened. Dad’s reacting like he caught his son raping kittens on an altar to Ba’al, because he provided snacks to his classmates who couldn’t get them from the cafeteria. I loved the start of this storyline, but these self-righteous, micromanaging adults had better get told off right quick or I’m going to get angry.
Niall
April 25th, 2008 at 10:48 am
Friday Comics Are Here To Stay (for a day):
BB: We’ve said it before, if they want to stop us thinking homoerotic subtext, they really need to stop giving us such setups. A few word changes, or even having someone other than Beetle constantly talking about Sarge would work.
There is a European comics series that has lasted 40 years called “The Blue Shirt” (Les Tuniques Bleues) about two officers in the US Civil War, both on the North side. It’s a comedic adventure series. (I know, only Europeans would do that.) The main characters are a Sargent and a Corporal. They’re always together, always bickering, always at each others’ throats since the Corporal was more or less told to sign up after the Sargeont got him drunk, and he resents him for it. After well over 30 albums, there are still zero, and I mean zero hints of any sort of homoerotic subtext. You can’t even force it towards it. And yet, the Walkers can’t help but give us dialogue and situations that makes it difficult not to see such subtext when viewed as a whole. (Individually, they would be fine.)
Blondie: Dithers is smart. Cruel, sadistic – but smart.
Curtis: This “twist” is no surprise, but fails on several gigantic levels. First, if the cafeteria doesn’t sell junk food, students will just bring some in their backpacks themselves, not pay higher prices to a lone student. Second, this scheme, as improbable as it would be, could only last one day; with all the junk food wrappers strewn all over by the careless students, school officials would know someone was bringing them in, snoop the next day, and catch the rather obvious exchanges taking place. (Curtis being subtle and quiet? Hah!) Third, Derrick and “Onion” would have fleeced him before he’d leave the cafeteria.
DtM: And now Dennis has been out-menaced by his own dog. Sheesh. Has he been eating grass?
DT: My brain! My brain! Make the hurting stop! (SWAT teams know first aid, no? They’ve been watching Lector (and note how suddenly they all call him that – he didn’t fool anyone? Okay, he didn’t fool us…) stumble and dance around for what, a minute, and no one does anything? The Locher Universe is one where you could die from stubbing your toe.
F Minus: What saves strips like this is the reaction of the woman, which channels our reaction as well (incredulous insecurity from being next to that guy, closed body language, ready to flee). Most strips with such stupid gags have either non-reactions, or inappropriate reactions.
FC: Okay. Okay!! Now the Keanes are deliberately messing with our minds! I’m ignoring them now! Lalalala!
GF: …annnnnd that’s it. I’ve had enough. This strip gets taken out of my rotation.
DT: Hey, outfielder, it might work better if your glove was positioned to catch the ball from above, as well as to look where you’re running full-tilt. There’s no way you can stop before bashing your head on the wall there. Meanwhile, behind Marty Moon, someone’s either soiling themselves or having on orgasm. And we see that Elmer Vargas and the next pitcher are secretly the Wonder Twins.
HtH: This si the first time ever that I see actual, bloody battle in Hagar. The colourist actually took the time to get the angry mood reflected in the background. This is not a happy strip.
H&L: More emasculation. Hi is probably not much better a bowler than me (I barely get 130-140) and is only on the team because they desperately needed a fourth.
JP: This so needs a rewrite of dialogue. Come on mudgeons!
MT: Brain! Brain hurts! Who’d call Mark Trail in this situation? How did she know which hotel he stayed at? Why would the mother even think a reporter for a magazine could do something? Unless he actually gives out business cards saying “Mark Trail, Fist of Justice for Rent”, like a modern Lone Wolf and Cub. Without the cub. Or the Lone.
MW: Intern in panel 1: “Hah! I’m not the one being meddled! I can eat in peace!” Passer-by in panel 2: “Oh damn, my wife’s in surgery and I finally get some peace, but this old biddy meddles and whines as much as she does! Can’t I get some freaking peace??”
MC: DING DING DING! WINNAH!
PBS: Aww, look, Pastis is buttering us up! :)
Pluggers: AUGH! A compass is NOT a positioning device, it’s a navigational device, and you need a MAP to make it a pun on GPSs!!
MW: Sad, but true. So true. Even worse, they make a profit making us believe they’re being environmentalist.
NotAGoatHead
April 25th, 2008 at 10:50 am
Too many comments… can’t read them all… Arghh!
JINX!
Islamorada Girl
April 25th, 2008 at 10:54 am
It’s so nice to see Thorax making a cameo appearance in FOOB today.
KH
April 25th, 2008 at 10:56 am
#286 Niall: re JP
Don’t we steal the dialog from Crankshaft?
“I know… I make it wetter on purpose.”
Greg
April 25th, 2008 at 10:57 am
Can I just nominate this weeks “Curtis” storyline as the worse anticlimactic ending ever in the history of storylines. I’m so pissed at myself for actually following this thing. What was I thinking?!
Artist formerly known as Ben
April 25th, 2008 at 11:17 am
More reason to be happy this Friday. You know what’s in Heart of the City today? Talking pigeons. You know what’s not in it? Any mention of the Jonas Brothers. Keep it up, Tatulli. In fact, the next time you feel like putting “Jonas” and “Brothers” in the same sentence, drop your pen and go jogging.
Nameless
April 25th, 2008 at 11:21 am
#286 re: MT
“Man in Khaki.
Have right fist, will travel”
is more what comes to my mind
Nerowolfgal
April 25th, 2008 at 11:24 am
#84 Perky Bird
Too funny; I spilt my coffee
Niall
April 25th, 2008 at 11:28 am
221 et al – bats :[ : You do realise that all these Count Morgu strips need to be on their own website somewhere? You and all the ones done by others. You have a storyline, and it’s vastly more entertaining than anything done by the regular strip.
258. commodorejohn: thank you for confirming my own memory on Hagar. I thought I’d gone loopy. The joke is also much bleaker humour than usual. If it’s going towards a Marvin-style reboot, I’m willing to give it a second chance. It might lead to actually menacing Dennises again.
289. KH: I wouldn’t know, I don’t read Crankshaft.
Sara
April 25th, 2008 at 11:39 am
okay–what’s the “MC” that everyone is cheering?
Eric the Baker, Jungle Patrol Bagels & Pastries Division
April 25th, 2008 at 11:46 am
FC – Umm, Jeffy… put Mommy’s ben-wah balls back in her nightstand drawer, and don’t EVER go in there again!
Alfred E. Neuman
April 25th, 2008 at 11:51 am
#247 & 248 Two I— Thanks for the kind words! I think that Keane may be a closet ‘Mudge, because he makes snarking sooo easy.
#295 Sara— It’s “My Cage”. Check it out here:
http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComick.mpl?date=20080425&name=My_Cage
TheDiva
April 25th, 2008 at 11:55 am
283 et al. re: Curtis–I suspect this whole storyline is meant to be a heavy-handed Very Special Episode on childhood obesity, implying that junk food is just as damaging to our precious youth as illegal drugs. All that’s missing is Helen Lovejoy wringing her hands on the sidelines and crying, “Won’t someone please think of the children?!”
commodorejohn
April 25th, 2008 at 11:58 am
#298 TheDiva – I hope not, but I’m afraid you’re probably right. Because remember, kids, it’s not your fault that you have absolutely no self-control! It’s the snack manufacturers’ fault!
Ranger
April 25th, 2008 at 12:47 pm
Blondie: Dithers blocked Dagwood because he kept checking out the foot longs.
Anonymous
April 25th, 2008 at 1:28 pm
FW: Funky is an insufferable prick, a lousy boss, a miserable friend, a wretched father and no doubt a selfish and inattentive lover. Which still makes him one of the better people in the Funky-verse.
Diamond Joe
April 25th, 2008 at 1:32 pm
#286 Niall:
Oh, well, if you insist…
Niall
April 25th, 2008 at 2:08 pm
292. Nameless: I sense a contest to design Mark Trail’s business card…
302. Diamond Joe: Yes, that works. Thank you. :) I’ll have to make my own version once I’m home. I don’t know if it would inspire bats :[ or not…
lylebot
April 25th, 2008 at 2:09 pm
Curtis: Ripping off The Wire? Randy Wagstaff was selling candy and bags of chips at school in season 4.
Well, if you have to steal, steal from the best, I suppose. But The Wire never tried to fake us out that Randy was selling drugs, even though that probably would’ve fit the show.
lylebot
April 25th, 2008 at 2:10 pm
oops, sorry about all the bold. Must preview.
anon
April 25th, 2008 at 2:14 pm
oh waa waa waa.
No one wants to post here and be part of a yesterthread.
Suck it up boys (and girls) and snark away.
You are not going to get comment of the week anyway.
Anonymous
April 25th, 2008 at 2:18 pm
302: that “Next” teaser? Oh, you have to do a followup. And work Mark Trail in there somehow.
Poteet
April 25th, 2008 at 2:23 pm
# 91 gh — OOOOMMM indeed. And it was nice to read about Cock Robin again, thanks — it’s been years.
bats :[
April 25th, 2008 at 2:48 pm
240. True Fable: the little brown goat looks like the caprine incarnation of Sister Betrille!
258. commodorejohn: it has been a windy week, hasn’t it?
http://www.flickr.com/photos/9545446@N07/2440875475/sizes/o/
Vakar
April 25th, 2008 at 2:49 pm
Today’s Family Circus features a scene from the last sleepover at Neverland Ranch.
UncleJeff
April 25th, 2008 at 2:52 pm
284: Astroboy: I agree with you.
I love the crocs. One of the other ‘mudges said it best when s/he said you have to read the crocs’ lines aloud to really get the humor.
commodorejohn
April 25th, 2008 at 3:02 pm
#309 bats :[ – Ahaha, dead-on!
Paul1963
April 25th, 2008 at 3:13 pm
#311 UncleJeff–I used to tell people the very best episodes of Pearls Before Swine always began with the words “Hullooooo, Zeeba Neighba…” I was so disappointed when I picked up a collection at a friend’s house and there were no croc strips in it. I guess they must have been introduced later than the strips that book collected.
anon
April 25th, 2008 at 3:15 pm
Yesterthread
No one wants to post in yesterthread
They all want to be number one
and get comment of the week
Arglebargle
April 25th, 2008 at 3:16 pm
Re PreTeena and the “x-ray specs/voyeurism” snarkage: Little help? I haven’t read PreTeena since the author had an adult teacher describe Dickens’ A Christmas Carol as insufficiently secular, complete with eyerolling. I’ve checked out the strips posted at various sources for the past few days, and am coming up with nothin’.
#298 TheDiva:
If that’s true, I can’t wait for Billingsley to go for the afterschool-special gold and hit Barry with emphysema from Dad’s constant smoking. (Don’t hold your breath. …Get it? Hah?)
bats :[
April 25th, 2008 at 3:18 pm
302. Diamond Joe: oh, that’s NICE! Just the words improved (then again, Abbey in a tight anything can hardly be improved upon!).
303. Niall: I don’t quite know what to do with this. Abbey’s beginning to remind me of Little Annie Fannie, which, while it’s not a bad thing, I think requires an actual artist to “do something” with the strip…
Astroboy
April 25th, 2008 at 3:25 pm
DtM – Biting dog=menacing
Dog with bad breath=not menacing
And, is anyone else creeped out by the fact that Dennis and his dog have the same exact hairstyle?
Astroboy
April 25th, 2008 at 3:28 pm
311 & 313: Uncle Jeff and Paul, glad to see some fellow croc-lovers. I agree…you GOTTA read their lines out loud to get the full croc experience. And a PBS collection with no crocs is…well…just not a collection.
Diamond Joe
April 25th, 2008 at 4:40 pm
#315 Arglebargle:
For some reason, they’ve replaces the series with today’s voyeurism strip with something else on Gocomics, but it’s <A HREF=”http://images.chron.com/apps/comics/images/2008/4/25/Preteena.757.g.gif”on the Chronicle site.
Diamond Joe
April 25th, 2008 at 4:41 pm
Whoops, that’ll teach me to preview first.
I mean it’s here.
queek
April 25th, 2008 at 6:16 pm
205: “Per-VECT!”
302: gold! Well done!
Vince M
April 25th, 2008 at 6:48 pm
309: You know it’s bad when Thorax calls you on long-windedness.
Arglebargle
April 26th, 2008 at 2:27 am
# 319/320 Diamond Joe:
Thanks!
annabananna
April 27th, 2008 at 8:57 am
Makes me feel a little odd to say this (well, actually, a LOT odd), but Sturdivant is looking a hell of a lot more studly in Panel Two there than he’s looked at any other point in the strip, which is not at all, weirdly erect thumb notwithstanding ( and please do not tell me there’s something symbolic in that, thank you all in advance). I dunno, maybe Ada’s just stunned by the unexpected and blatant display of heretofore unsuspected testosterone surge just manifested before her oh-so-wide and uncomprhending chitinous eye pits. That intensely emphatic exclamation point does make you kind of wonder.
Lisa
April 27th, 2008 at 11:59 pm
320: I saw that strip originally…. and did a doubletake. Teena is looking through the glasses at a woman and making comments about her being hot? Is there a lesbian subtext in the strip that I have missed so far?
MD
April 28th, 2008 at 11:39 am
Here’s a story from the Binghamton Press on how Milford happened to be playing our local teams:
http://www.pressconnects.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=2008804260335
Spratson
April 28th, 2008 at 3:43 pm
FAMILY CIRCUS: The white plasticine world of the Keane family accidentally reveals its inherent racism. Strange names? Strange is not the same as unfamiliar. “Unfamiliar” would be a fact. “Strange” is a judgment. Naturally, the Keane boys favor tolerance over acceptance. “Those” people are strange, but they’re okay as acquaintances. On the plus side, Grandma will be dead soon, or at least too senile to vote.
TheMan370
October 23rd, 2008 at 3:00 pm
I don’t get it. How does something like that work?
restorative yoga
December 8th, 2009 at 2:58 pm
well informative post!!!