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Fear and loathing in the French Maghreb

Crock, 4/26/08

It’s a tough life, being a French Foreign Legionnaire stationed in the restive North African colonies, but there are compensations: for instance, sometimes local women will just walk up to you and hand you substantial quantities of hashish. Figowitz looks at the drugs dubiously, obviously raised on a strict moral diet of “just say non.” C’mon, Figowitz, you know what they say: when in Oran, get as high as a kite as often as possible.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 4/26/08

Looks like our heroes in Rex Morgan, M.D., are going to be facing both medical and legal drama! They seem to be in trouble, but a close look at panel two should alleviate any worries you have about their chances: I wouldn’t be so scared of a lawyer who can’t spell “subpoena.”

Apartment 3-G, 4/26/08

“Watch me make my pants disappear!”

38 responses to “Fear and loathing in the French Maghreb”

  1. Tabby Lavalamp
    April 27th, 2008 at 6:57 pm [Reply]

    I’ve only got three words for today’s Ziggy – Aaah! AAAAAHHH! AAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

  2. Gabacho
    April 27th, 2008 at 6:58 pm [Reply]

    Apt 3G – the sheer delight on LuAnn’s face will vanish as soon as she discovers that he is not going to pull a quarter from behind her ear.

  3. Bah
    April 27th, 2008 at 7:09 pm [Reply]

    Honestly, I’d expect a quarter to drastically increase Lu Ann’s delight. I mean, she IS Lu Ann…

  4. Mac
    April 27th, 2008 at 7:12 pm [Reply]

    I don’t think you have to be worried about a lawyer who serves his own “subpenas” either. I think this guy trained at the Dr. Troy Gainer School of Law.

    Tabby, I pretty much have that reaction to all Ziggys, and I expect others do too.

  5. monsieurjohn
    April 27th, 2008 at 7:15 pm [Reply]

    DT: We have now seen Mr. Cole Lector in the midst of falling, struck by an arrow, in at least 11 separate frames over eight days, and he has yet to hit the floor. And you thought Judge Parker was slow-moving!

  6. dale
    April 27th, 2008 at 7:23 pm [Reply]


    Why am I suddenly reminded of a joke which ends with, “Well … most of the men ride the camel into town.”?

  7. RaJ
    April 27th, 2008 at 7:25 pm [Reply]

    Dude, is Rex going to crumple up the subpoena in a rage, then toss it in the garbage? Will he rifle through that garbage later, smoothing out the subpoena while picking off the pieces of gum? Will June come bounding up behind him just as he’s about done: “Hey, Rex! I solved MRSA!” Will I get to see his face then? Because that would be Christmas.

  8. bats :[
    April 27th, 2008 at 7:25 pm [Reply]

    For the record, I believe Dr. Andy Reed is Count Morgu. Glenwood is such a small town that lawyers deliver their own subpenas, nurses do one heckuva lot of work in supply closets as well as other nursing duties, and nobody cottons to that fancy nonsense of that silent “o” in subpoena. Andy is not only the county coroner, but also THE Department of Public Health (now that the two other workers have been laid off); I suspect that he’s also the hospital’s graveyard shift phlebotomist (of course) and dietician.
    Oh, yeah, and a vampire, too.
    OTOH, how Rex has managed to get away with fooling folks that he’s a doctor is mystifying.

  9. Sirkus Peanuts
    April 27th, 2008 at 7:28 pm [Reply]

    Does anyone anywhere stand as suffocatingly close to one another as in A3G?

  10. Hawkeye
    April 27th, 2008 at 7:30 pm [Reply]

    Tell me today’s RMMD is the beginning of an epic crossover with “Judge Parker.” It’s a fanfiction dream come true!

  11. terrene
    April 27th, 2008 at 7:33 pm [Reply]

    HOLY CRAP there is a male in A3 who I can tell apart from all the other males in A3, what is this madness.

  12. RaJ
    April 27th, 2008 at 7:40 pm [Reply]

    It’s odd. Figowitz’s bowl looks like a pet bowl, the hash looks like dog food. Meanwhile, Africa resembles a litter box. You know, there comes a time when things are so poorly drawn that you have to wonder if what you’re looking at is even a strip about the French Foreign Legion, or if it’s really about ugly housepets into RPG. What’s important is that the artist is letting us decide for ourselves.

  13. RaJ
    April 27th, 2008 at 7:47 pm [Reply]

    “- in my jaw. C’mere, Luann, I’m gonna make a print in the back of your throat. I’m an expert at the intaglio style. That means I’m gonna use my tongue.”

  14. Lou Shumaker
    April 27th, 2008 at 7:51 pm [Reply]

    “Watch me make my pants disappear!”

    This is why I love Josh, in a manly way of course. After everyeone took a hack at this panel, he can still come up with a winner.

  15. Virtual Memories
    April 27th, 2008 at 7:57 pm [Reply]

    Ooh, Dr. Reed, you got SERVED! SNAP!

    (On the other hand, Max never says that it’s a subpoena. Maybe it’s a contract from, um, SUBPEP Records. . .)

  16. Benjamin Baxter
    April 27th, 2008 at 8:15 pm [Reply]

    A man with that sense of style cannot be heterosexual. I thought we had settled this already, via Rex Morgan?

  17. Benjamin Baxter
    April 27th, 2008 at 8:17 pm [Reply]

    (I had been referring to Apartment 3-G.)

  18. Mrs. Buck Tuddrussell
    April 27th, 2008 at 8:17 pm [Reply]

    RMMD: Maybe it says “SUBPEEN”. Oh, wait, I don’t want to think about that.

    A3G: LuAnn’s head is missing the wobbly lines. My brain actually superimposed the missing lines for me, which was disconcerting for a second until I realized what was going on.

    So how much damage *am* I doing to my brain by reading these strips?

  19. Lisa
    April 27th, 2008 at 8:21 pm [Reply]

    Are you sure that paper doesn’t say “subpenis” and isn’t some sort of subtext message about the plot?

  20. forthillrox
    April 27th, 2008 at 8:29 pm [Reply]

    I wonder what jurisdiction they are in where the attorneys act as process servers. I mean, most places I know of it is done by a deputy sheriff or constable. Dr. Reed has nothing to worry about. That guy was just a pretend attorney.

  21. Džefs
    April 27th, 2008 at 8:32 pm [Reply]

    Which do I like more, I can’t decide.
    The fact that in Crock, the sides of the bowl are apparently melting away, to the point where he’s holding a plate in the last panel?
    Or the fact that the lawyer in the last panel of RMMD is apparently juggling, and the subpeener is blocking our view of the balls (there really was no elegant way to say that).

    Also, #19 – check out where he’s holding the document. Subpenis indeed.


  22. Shoebox
    April 27th, 2008 at 8:39 pm [Reply]

    #9 – Thank you! I’ve been trying to articulate my vague problem with this strip for days now (yeah, thus far I only have the one problem, I only see it here) and that would be it: Everybody’s crammed into the panels like there’s a personal space tax in this ‘verse. Creepy as all hell.

  23. Lisa
    April 27th, 2008 at 9:15 pm [Reply]

    Could be that the artist is of middle Eastern background, from a country where they don’t have the same space requirements as we do here in the unfriendly West…

  24. Poteet
    April 27th, 2008 at 9:25 pm [Reply]

    A3G — To me, the “magic” is that Jack looks like a different guy in every panel. Panel One is Fat Face Jack, Panel Two is Curved Nose Jack, and Panel Three is Pointed Hairline Jack. Lu Ann, however, always looks like a ditz.

  25. hannibal.smitty
    April 27th, 2008 at 9:58 pm [Reply]

    It looks like art isn’t the only thing Margo is selling. I can’t wait ’till she gets her pimptastic coat. Settle the finances indeed!

  26. winky
    April 27th, 2008 at 10:10 pm [Reply]

    not to be a party-pooper, but “subpena” is the modern spelling of “subpoena.” flame away, i can handle it … i have super-spidey spelling powers.

  27. Lisa
    April 27th, 2008 at 10:45 pm [Reply]

    Really? I have never seen it spelled that way….

  28. Invisible Me
    April 27th, 2008 at 11:17 pm [Reply]

    It’s not the modern spelling: it’s one of those spellings Webster tried to shove down everyone’s throats (some, like color and honor, stuck, but most didn’t) and which was picked up by the publisher of the Chicago Tribune.

    If you tried to file a subpena, the court would laugh at you and tell you to come back with a subpoena.

  29. Lisa
    April 27th, 2008 at 11:34 pm [Reply]

    Encyclopaedia is one that changed….

  30. Lisa
    April 28th, 2008 at 12:20 am [Reply]

    I just saw the Monday Family Tree…. it’s a direct ripoff of Crankshaft.

  31. Pozzo
    April 28th, 2008 at 6:40 am [Reply]

    “Sorry, Jack; the magic doesn’t happen until we settle the finances!”

  32. Hasty Penguin
    April 28th, 2008 at 8:32 am [Reply]

    I find it impressive that A3G’s Lu Ann is able to morph from a young Vietnamese woman into a botoxed man in just two panels.

  33. Little Guy
    April 28th, 2008 at 9:08 am [Reply]

    RMMD: Shall I say it….?

    “Dr Reed, you got served!”

    (Oh, that line works better in a breakdancing context….)

  34. Lloyd S.
    April 28th, 2008 at 10:39 am [Reply]

    #20′s right on. Process servers can make a good living. At most, it would be the law clerk or a junior associate who does the serving.

    Generally it’s the Court that issues the subpoena, and it’s usually a form. So maybe you should be scared of a Court that either can’t spell to begin with, or can’t be bothered to correct even egregious typos.

  35. Paul1963
    April 28th, 2008 at 1:02 pm [Reply]

    Max Mallory, desperate to hold onto as much of his income as possible, has hired a teenage girl to type up all his legal documents for him. See, she works much cheaper than a real legal secretary would, so he has more money to spend on TV ads and bus-stop bench ads and so forth.
    The downside is that, in addition to her misspelling the word “subpoena,” the document is also amazingly free of grammar, punctuation or proper capitalization, while also containing lots of strange abbreviations, emoticons and outright misspellings–including “Malory” and “Malorry,” once each.

  36. UnknownEric
    April 28th, 2008 at 1:36 pm [Reply]

    Wow, A3G suddenly turned into MTV Cribs!

  37. Mountain Mama
    April 28th, 2008 at 4:56 pm [Reply]

    #12–I’m glad I wasn’t drinking anything when I read that. ROFL!!!

  38. winky
    April 29th, 2008 at 1:09 am [Reply]

    any legal dictionary, or dictionary, or wikipedia for that matter, will state: “may also be spelled “subpena.” you can spell it either way (“subpoena” is preferred). max mallory knows what the hell he’s doing — leave him the hell alone!

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