Archive: Crock

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Crock, 1/28/18

This is another great example of how the top two “throwaway panels,” which don’t appear in all layouts and thus need to be somewhat disposable, can really add another dimension to a strip. Without them, today’s Crock is a goofy tale of how that diabolical Crock has decided to take care of the fort’s trash problem by airdropping the whole midden onto the hapless Lost Patrol in lieu of supplies. However, the vulture’s dialogue in the second panel of the top row reveals the awful truth about this so-called “trash and garbage”: it’s a mountain of corpses — French and insurgent, dead of combat or disease, all mingled together — and the Lost Patrol is about to an experience a nightmare beyond imagining.

Dennis the Menace, 1/28/18

The only person you’re menacing with that attitude is yourself, Dennis, since without a social medial presence you won’t be able to establish a personal brand! What are you thinking? (In other news, I’ve already risked my browser history to ascertain that isn’t a fetish dating site, you’re welcome.)

Rex Morgan, M.D., 1/28/18

“And it’ll be great to for Johnny to have grandparents, since we killed all of our parents for the insurance money years ago. Wait, did I say that part out loud?”

Six Chix, 1/28/18

Soooo, what you’re saying is that the cormorant is carrying a bag full of … flesh? Stretched out flesh already marked, ready to be grafted onto women as they sleep by the cormorant’s sharp, nimble beak

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Crock, 11/20/17

Aww, it looks like Otis’s mom has finally figured out that his best (only?) friend is a carrion-eating vulture! And you can tell she’s really trying. Her lids are heavy with disgust as she imagines the hungry bird flying home to his gore-encrusted home to feed on fresh corpses, but she isn’t saying anything to break up the friendship. That’s good parenting!

The Phantom, 11/20/17

Ooh, now we know which specific weirdos are on Walker’s table: messianic cultists! The main question raised by today’s too-artsy-by-half lettering: Is this beardy gent known to his devotees as “Savior 2” or “Savior Z”? Because those names have very different vibes. Savior 2 is sort of a “Hey kids, I’m just like Jesus, but the next one, for the modern age!” whereas Savior Z is like I AM THE END OF ALL THINGS, THIS WORLD WE BE CLEANSED IN INFINITE FIRE FOREVER

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Family Circus, 11/16/17

I have to admit that I’m extremely hung up on Billy proposing to go eat at the home of someone named “Corbin.” Corbin? Is this a thing that Americans are naming their children now? I of course immediately turned to the indispensable Baby Name Wizard for answers, and learned that Corbin has seen a huge uptick in usage recently, beginning the 1980s (presumably with the fame of L.A. Law heartthrob Corbin Bernsen) but really hitting new heights in the 2010s, so … it’s possible? Still, that’s all relative: in 2011, 475 out of every million boys born in the U.S. were named Corbin, whereas William, which has plummeted in popularity from its late 19th century peak, is still bestowed upon boys around ten times as often.

It’s also possible that this is a reference to British Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn, and Billy represents young people turning away from neoliberal austerity policies and towards the promises of socialism. The name “Corbin” derives from the Old French word for “crow,” so we can’t rule out the possibility that Billy is has joined a bird-cult and feels unstoppably drawn to the great Nest of his sinister Raven God, to feed.

Mark Trail, 11/16/17

Dick Tracy just doesn’t serve up graphic, violent deaths on the regular anymore, so it’s good that Mark Trail has stepped into the breach, showing us a man about to be horribly killed by a tornado. Looking forward to him hurtling downward, screaming in terror, his ponytail flapping wildly behind him, until he makes a neat, viscera-filled crater on the ground of ghost town, right in front of Mark and everybody else.

Crock, 11/16/17

Crock: The Strip Where The Cacti Don’t Fuck Anymore™