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Metapost: Triumphant return COTW

Hello everybody! I’m back, with a slightly delayed COTW and a huge thanks to everyone who gave during the fundraiser, and a huge thanks to Uncle Lumpy for filling in for me last week! Everyone will be getting individual thank-yous shortly. Meanwhile, I am prepared to take you into maw of the holiday season, comics wise, staring with the past week’s top comment:

‘Tell you where the trout holes are’ has to be one of the most revolting euphemisms for sex that I’ve ever heard. And I attended junior high in southern Indiana.” –cheech wizard

And the runners up, very funny!

Mark Trail: “This latest remake of The Prisoner seems to completely miss the point of the original show.” –fluffy

“What a plot development — Mark becomes a bigamist and never sleeps with either wife.” –Maltmasher

Mary Worth: “I’m not sure those are soda bottles. In Panel 2, Jim is using his to show Dawn that if they can’t be more than friends, he will be her enema.” –Alfred E. Neuman

Rex Morgan, M.D.: “Nobody beats me in the obscenely perky tits department, see? Nobody!” –tb4000

Mary Worth: “Jim brings the phrase ‘being a douche’ to horrifying new levels of literalism.” –No Stupid Bear

Mary Worth: “That’s it. Next time a girl turns me down for a date, I’m going to make a scene and shout ‘It’s because I’m missing an arm, isn’t it?’ PS. I am not actually missing an arm.” –btow

Rex Morgan, M.D.: “Considering that June is the only one in the room who is NOT a stripper, why is she the only one dressed like a stripper?” –Here come the Judge


“Would nuns living with Rex Morgan for a year really count as cloistered? Haha, of course they would. Had you going, didn’t I?” –Artist formerly known as Ben

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40 responses to “Metapost: Triumphant return COTW”

  1. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    November 18th, 2012 at 6:38 pm [Reply]

    meta post > B&C’s meta effort.

  2. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    November 18th, 2012 at 6:46 pm [Reply]

    Hey, I’m back! And I seem to have missed most of these the first time around, so thanks to Uncle Lumpy and Josh for putting them out for me to appreciate. The play seems to have been a triumphant success, and we’ve taken down the sets, cleaned up the stage, and enjoyed a tasty dinner with many desserts at the cast party.

    Back to the routine now.

  3. tallyHO
    November 18th, 2012 at 7:11 pm [Reply]

    Thanks to Unca Lumpy for his styling week of zing!

    Congrats to the Cheech Wizard and the Floatateers! You are all stars!

    Admittedly, seeing some of the COTW runner up comments made me get the joke whereas when I read them earlier, I was too drunk to understand them.

    Sunday makes all the difference in the world! Huzzah!

  4. tallyHO
    November 18th, 2012 at 7:13 pm [Reply]

    oh yeah.

    welcomeback, whoever posted the COTW.

    //i’m sorry. sure, i could guess who posted this metapost, but, I don’t want to seem foolish, especially if this is some cruel joke played out by “Dear Wendy”.

  5. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    November 18th, 2012 at 7:26 pm [Reply]

    Congrats, Floaters!
    Welcome back, Josh!
    Thanks, Uncle Lumpy!

  6. pastordan, lazy professor
    November 18th, 2012 at 7:28 pm [Reply]

    Congrats, everyone!

    Tough competition this week: God his own self got passed over.

  7. tallyHO
    November 18th, 2012 at 7:58 pm [Reply]

    @pastordan, lazy professor (#6):

    I considered replying but it seemed too much like sucking up.

  8. Les of the Jungle Patrol
    November 18th, 2012 at 8:04 pm [Reply]

    Has Les of Funky Winkerbean had a moob job or what is the source of those chest bandages?

  9. Artist formerly known as Ben
    November 18th, 2012 at 8:06 pm [Reply]

    Thank you for placing me on the float, Josh. I was going to say “well chosen COTWs”, which would kind of look immodest now. Nonetheless, congrats to cheech wizard et al.

  10. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    November 18th, 2012 at 8:41 pm [Reply]

    Congrats, float-folk! I missed most of these (stoopid job), so it’s good to get caught up on the funny.

    And thanks for a great week, Uncle Lumpy! ((waves bye-bye as Uncle Lumpy strides into the sunset))

  11. Rocky Stoneaxe
    November 18th, 2012 at 8:44 pm [Reply]

    @Les of the Jungle Patrol (#8): Funky Winkerbean’s Les Moore had his nipples painfully twisted by Bull for incorrectly answering the question “Who invaded Spain in the 8th century?”

    Congrats to last week’s winners!

  12. IagoPogo
    November 18th, 2012 at 8:51 pm [Reply]

    An ersatz congrats to the float riders during Unca Lumpy’s recent term as president ex pro tempura (hey, I like the shrimp prepared that way, ok?)…me and Lumpy have a history, much as I don’t post often on this excellent blog. Congrats, etc. to the floaters, as always. Toss some lox & bagels and pray for Israel, eh?

  13. Peanut Gallery
    November 18th, 2012 at 9:06 pm [Reply]

    @IagoPogo (#12): People these days don’t appreciate good food. O tempura! O s’mores!

  14. pastordan, lazy professor
    November 18th, 2012 at 10:02 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#7): You will be judged accordingly.

  15. cheech wizard
    November 18th, 2012 at 10:05 pm [Reply]

    Wow, this is a rare pleasure indeed – and a nice birthday present as well! Thanks for waiting until Sunday, Josh!!! A great conclusion to what’s been a great day! And congrats to all the other float folk as well!

  16. Miss Othmar
    November 18th, 2012 at 10:17 pm [Reply]

    @cheech wizard (#15): Happy birthday! Funny snark!

  17. pastordan, lazy professor
    November 18th, 2012 at 10:25 pm [Reply]

    @cheech wizard (#15): Oh hey, what Miss Othmar said – happy birthday!

  18. bbofun
    November 18th, 2012 at 10:26 pm [Reply]

    Apologies if this has been snarked upon- um, remarked upon, but-

    MARY WORTH- Apparently, Dawn believes you can leave someone a voice-mail by speaking into a folded piece of paper, and (one assumes) dropping it into a mailbox.

  19. Poteet
    November 18th, 2012 at 10:37 pm [Reply]

    All hail, cheech wizard! Tossed flowers for the runners-up! Welcome back, Josh, and thank you, Uncle Lumpy — it was fun.

  20. Alfred E. Neuman
    November 18th, 2012 at 10:37 pm [Reply]

    It’s an honor to share the float with cheech (Happy Birthday!) wizard and all of the other super snarkers. Free soda enema, er, squirt bottles of your choice for all!

  21. Poteet
    November 18th, 2012 at 10:53 pm [Reply]

    GA — The worst thing about a storyline featuring Boog, even worse than his hideous eyes, is that whenever he turns sideways, he adds about thirty years to his age. At least Billy Keane has the decency to remain the same age (approximately fifty-five) whether he’s in profile or not.

  22. Rocky Stoneaxe
    November 18th, 2012 at 11:15 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#21): Question for the day: If you’re a fan of GA’s Boog, does that make you a “Boog-er”?

  23. sporknpork
    November 18th, 2012 at 11:21 pm [Reply]

    Holy crap, cheech wizard. That made me laugh HARD. Good job and congrats!

    Also congrats to the rest of the float (love it as always), welcome back Josh, and thanks again Uncle Lumpy!

  24. This Guy
    November 18th, 2012 at 11:35 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#22): Fortunately, that question is purely academic, for the obvious reason.

  25. Poteet
    November 18th, 2012 at 11:47 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#22): @This Guy (#24): Surely there would be very very few Boogers. Surely.

  26. Poteet
    November 19th, 2012 at 12:10 am [Reply]

    @Calico (#Y88): Now look what you’ve done.

  27. Poteet
    November 19th, 2012 at 12:24 am [Reply]

    CRANKSHAFT — I had four wild turkeys (mom and three young) hanging around my feeders one winter several years ago, but none since. Whether it could ever really happen in Funkytown, Ohio, I have no idea.

  28. seismic-2
    November 19th, 2012 at 12:59 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#27): And the “joke” is funny because, you know, turkeys’ emerging to hang around a bird feeder is a sure sign of Thanksgiving, because they eat at no other time of the year.

  29. Uncle Lumpy
    November 19th, 2012 at 1:03 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#27):

    What a coincidence — I had four Wild Turkeys after giving the keys back to Josh!

  30. This Guy
    November 19th, 2012 at 1:21 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#25): For values of “very, very few” that are equal to zero.

  31. Mr. O'Malley
    November 19th, 2012 at 3:15 am [Reply]

    Funny thing about The Lockhorns. Normally the caption is under the panel. Today the caption is in a box inside the panel, and they’ve had to shrink Loretta’s bottom half to get it to fit in. Looks very odd.

    MT: How many people live on this island if one old guy with a fishing rod can feed the lot of them?

  32. gleeb
    November 19th, 2012 at 6:49 am [Reply]

    3-J: We can tell Ryan is a theater director because he has a vaguely arts-y beard.

    ‘bean: This week’s theme: Owen is an idiot. Still.

    Out of the Mine, Finally!: Don’t start pushing Sam’s button’s, sot. He’s been wanting breakfast for weeks now.

    Phantom: If lions are anything like housecats, t will take a huge amount to tranquilize one. But go ahead, Mr Compounder*, try out your half-remembered Guran recipe.

    Rex: So, this whole story is a cry for better pay and benefits for strippers? An odd if noble goal.

    Dick: Wow, Julie Newmar sure is gonna be p-*sigh* Remember the Moon? I do, but I don’t think the new guys do.

    *For “Ghost-who-Compounds-His-Own-Drugs”.

  33. CanuckDownSouth
    November 19th, 2012 at 6:57 am [Reply]

    Wasn’t there an old Doonesbury with some naive reporter interviewing young drug-gang guys, blithely thinking midnight basketball and a minimum-wage McD’s job would be an upgrade from their high-paying albeit illegal work? Could somebody whap the Judge Parker team upside the head with it? There can’t possibly even be the potential of *gross* solar farm revenues sufficient to keep Bubba in Picassos and helicopters.

  34. Droopy Says
    November 19th, 2012 at 7:57 am [Reply]

    @Mr. O’Malley (#31): Wait until Trail discovers that the old guy can walk on water, and turn bread into pancakes. We’re in for a strange and early Mark Trail Christmas story.

  35. TL
    November 19th, 2012 at 8:03 am [Reply]

    Doesn’t-give-a-shit ugly hat kid from Funky Winkerbean has become my favorite character. I am not sure who he is. He might even be a member of the Winkerbean clan itself? Looking into it would just go against the theme of not-shit-giving, though.

    Maybe he grows up to be Spider-man.

  36. bats :[
    November 19th, 2012 at 8:19 am [Reply]

    Well, nertz…how did I miss all these great comments (then again, it might be this short-term crappy memory to blame)?
    Congrats to all!
    And a happy belated birthday to cheech wizard…hope that lizard pinata got a righteous goomphing!

  37. TheDiva
    November 19th, 2012 at 8:20 am [Reply]

    Welcome back, Josh! And congrats to the float folk!

    9CL: A kind-of-decent joke ruined by McEldowney flapping at the mouth for far longer than necessary.

    C’shaft: Is grass in Ohio normally green in late November?

    FW: Having graciously enlightened the Kids These Days on why comics are oh-so-important-and-serious, Batiuk goes back to treating them with the withering contempt he’s known for.

    Luann: Oh goody, it’s the relationship that won’t go anywhere and won’t die.

    MT: “Best of all, no Rusty!”

    MW: “So what if Jim’s a little psychotic and wants to dress you up as his dead sister? You’re not getting any younger, Dawn!”

    More later…

  38. Steve
    November 19th, 2012 at 8:36 am [Reply]

    @cheech wizard (#15): The funniest COTW I’ve ever read

  39. LP2004
    November 19th, 2012 at 8:59 am [Reply]

    @Mr. O’Malley (#31): Re: MT – remember, these are Mark Trail giant fish we’re talking about here. A single mahi-mahi probably weighs upwards of five hundred pounds.

  40. No Stupid Bear
    November 19th, 2012 at 3:03 pm [Reply]

    This is a very proud day for me. Thank you and congrats to all!

Comments are closed for this post.