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Dognappers 1, Trail 0

Mark Trail, 5/17/08

It’s only now that the full idiocy of Mark’s plan is being brought to light: he uses the strongest obscenity in his vocabulary to express his shock and horror at the utterly unforeseen fact that the dognappers have a motor vehicle. “Goodness gracious, I assumed that they would have sedated Andy and put him in a cart or wagon, or perhaps just carried him on a stretcher, and I could have chased them on foot, using this World War II surplus tracking device! If only I had access to an internal combustion engine-drive vehicle of some sort! Oh well, back to the St. Bernard puppy mill.”

Momma, 5/17/08

It my continual quest to acknowledge it when comics that I usually consider terrible make me laugh, I give you this Momma, which made me laugh. My wife’s grandmother lived for a time in a retirement home that had a restaurant, where men were required to wear jackets to dinner and forbidden to wear shorts at any time, so I understand the oldsters’ insistence on propriety. Still, you’d think that Momma would relax a little about a casual dinner at home, though I can see why she’d be disgusted by Francis’s hairy jeans.

Meanwhile the final panel reveals that Thomas’s jaunty straw boater is considered ludicrously overdone even by Momma’s sartorial standards.

Mary Worth, 5/17/08

Is … is Mary hitting on Ron at his mother’s funeral? I’m pretty sure that’s what’s going on here. Dr. Jeff is no doubt thrilled that she’s telling random men that she’s “available.”

86 responses to “Dognappers 1, Trail 0”

  1. Sheila Sternwell (the former Mrs. Tuddrussel)
    May 18th, 2008 at 6:03 pm [Reply]

    Oops, I think I just killed the last thread.

    I hope Thomas’ boxer pattern is herringbone, and not actually a bunch of X’s. The thought of Thomas’ boxers asking me to kiss them all over is a great diet aid, though.

  2. Weaselboy
    May 18th, 2008 at 6:05 pm [Reply]

    Don’t listen to her, Ron. Come Monday, she’ll be off to a new storyline.

  3. commodorejohn
    May 18th, 2008 at 6:06 pm [Reply]

    What, no comment on One Big Happy?

  4. bats :[
    May 18th, 2008 at 6:08 pm [Reply]

    1. Sheila S.: no, I think I killed the last thread (famous. last. words.). Maybe those x’s on Thomas’ BVDs are very-simply rendered skulls and crossbones, indicative of the toxic materials to be found contained there.
    Ew.

    And for the record, I am still creeped out by having Donna’s open casket featured in the strip. Then again, maybe the artist is trying to add some life to Mary’s comings and goings.

  5. Mac
    May 18th, 2008 at 6:16 pm [Reply]

    Forget boring old Mark, the real hero of the strip is Andy, and he’s getting some! Go, Andy! If the van’s a-knocking, don’t come barking!

  6. Father McKenzie
    May 18th, 2008 at 6:23 pm [Reply]

    I found Mary shocking yesterday. How often is a cadaver shown in the “serious” comics?

  7. Mibbitmaker
    May 18th, 2008 at 6:25 pm [Reply]

    Mark Trail’s strongest obscenity, indeed. Naturalist that he is, there’s no doubt he actually worships mackerel!

  8. Rusty
    May 18th, 2008 at 6:29 pm [Reply]

    The character of Momma is so poorly drawn in the first and second panels that I believe Mel Lazarus has been blinded by cataracts and is now spray painting the panels on bedsheets.

  9. Mibbitmaker
    May 18th, 2008 at 6:30 pm [Reply]

    Adding to #7:

    …Hell, the fish symbol on the back of his (apparently absent) car is a mackerel.

  10. Kaitlyn
    May 18th, 2008 at 6:31 pm [Reply]

    This latest Mary Worth story is amazing! It started on April 7th, and in a little over a month, it seems to be over.

    Is that a world record?

    Also – what is up with One Big Happy?

    Different websites have different comics every day of the week! There was an awesome one at yahoo on April 27th. But the one at comics.com was different.

    Today, I learned that comics.com is running OBH classic.

    Creators.com and the Chron have the same ones.

    Yahoo and gocomics have the same OBHs, but not the ones Creators.com and the Chron have.

    Comics.com is all alone.

    What’s going on?

    All 3 versions make me laugh, by the way.

  11. migellito
    May 18th, 2008 at 6:31 pm [Reply]

    ok.. I think this is a bad thing. I imagined a more buxom Mary propositioning various men in her comic over the coming weeks, largely focusing on those far younger than herself.

    It’s a bad thing, right?

  12. Kaitlyn
    May 18th, 2008 at 6:33 pm [Reply]

    3 – commodorejohn – which OBH?

  13. Frinkenstein
    May 18th, 2008 at 6:33 pm [Reply]

    I love how, throughout this Mark Trail storyline, the “bait” is unerringly called a “female dog.” Mark Trail probably wouldn’t use the word “bitch” even if he caught Cherry in bed with Rusty, Andy and the Chinese men’s gymnastic team.

  14. nancois
    May 18th, 2008 at 6:41 pm [Reply]

    I like how Ron politely brushes Mary off, “Thanks, Mary…Let’s go inside now…to my mother’s funeral, where she is lying dead.”

  15. commodorejohn
    May 18th, 2008 at 6:42 pm [Reply]

    #12 Kaitlyn – Yesterday’s.

  16. bbug
    May 18th, 2008 at 6:47 pm [Reply]

    I think that Mark’s disappointed in Andy’s decision to go Roadside with a strange bitch, more than anything else…

  17. Sorako-chan
    May 18th, 2008 at 6:48 pm [Reply]

    What is Mark’s plan? I mean, other than putting a tracking device on Andy (and we can only assume that he really did put a tracking device on Andy and didn’t just tape Rusty’s old Gameboy color around the dog’s belly) I don’t see much foresight here. I mean,

    1) Mark sends Andy out, and then just stays inside, watching. Not getting into his car or anything to prepare for a chase.

    2) Mark doesn’t seem to have thought through what the dognappers would do once they spotted Andy. “Wait, he’s in a van?! For the love of god- no!

    3) Mark’s “tracking device,” or whatever that is he’s holding in the second panel, appears to be an early ’80s cell phone.

    4) Mark uses the phrase “Holy Mackerel.”

    5) In the last panel, he appears to be facing the opposite directing from where the van is going. “I’ll never be able to find where they’re taking him! Especially since I’m not smart enough to turn around!”

  18. Sorcyress
    May 18th, 2008 at 6:51 pm [Reply]

    Sunday thoughts:

    Am I the only one who looked at todays Family Circus and started cheering because she thought Dolly was trying to smother PJ with a pillow?

    Also:

    Shoe: Uhm, I’m sorry teen-bird (I can’t be arsed to learn their real names) but there are these great things they invented recently. They’re called ‘digital cameras’. Like the relic you are being shown, they take photos. Where in the comic does it at all imply that the device you are staring at is anything even resembling a cell phone?

    Sally Fourth: “All his life, Steven was ignored. Hey, there’s Keith…” pretty much made me fall over laughing.

    Curtis: Nonono. Writing entertaining, snarky, *blogs* about comics is the highest form of art. Duh.

    ~Sor

  19. Sorako-chan
    May 18th, 2008 at 6:52 pm [Reply]

    Also, due to his crippling fear of Momma, Francis resorts to mugging his own brother right before her eyes rather than be berated one more time for his bad dress.

  20. pccmdoc
    May 18th, 2008 at 6:57 pm [Reply]

    Tracking device = Mark’s Eyeballs
    Range = ?

    well less just hope its longer than Mark’s foresight. Which evidently must be in some foggy land.

    Goodbye Andy, at least he’s getting some…

  21. Corkey
    May 18th, 2008 at 6:59 pm [Reply]

    Y’know, it kind of makes sense that the most colorful room I’ve ever seen in Mary Worth is in a funeral home.

  22. Ridureyu
    May 18th, 2008 at 6:59 pm [Reply]

    I’ll bet there are many things that he should have done differently with his mother and brother. I don’t want to hear about them.

  23. nancois
    May 18th, 2008 at 7:05 pm [Reply]

    5/17
    FBOFW: Ah, Elizabeth’s simple soliloquy on love. “I thought I was in love, but I wasn’t. Again, I thought I was in love, but I wasn’t. This time, I am putting no thought into this whatsoever.”

    OBH: This is disturbing on at least two levels.

    RM: Rex seems so incredibly moody. In panel one, he is smiling and amicable, in panel three, incredulous. Now give us pity!…horror!…amazement!…disgust!….that’s it, Rex, yeah, Baby!

    SM: I mean, really, what did the audience do? Can actors be thin-skinned? Or is this where we find out Mary Jane is playing a villainess in a melodrama? “It was horrible, Peter, whenever I walked on stage, they booed and hissed!”

    #20 – very funny!

  24. Niall
    May 18th, 2008 at 7:06 pm [Reply]

    Sunday Beetle goes all double-meta on us. This nullifies any subtext reading I could have done.

    Speaking of Roadside, has anyone seen this trailer? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NwxuKY24edU for a Bollywood Disney animated movie, apparently: “Roadside Romeo”.

    I tried not to laugh too hard. The Curmudgeon in me was much too tickled.

  25. vkbceb
    May 18th, 2008 at 7:10 pm [Reply]

    What is that guy doing in the last panel of Mary Worth? Is he looking at his fingernails?

  26. andreavis
    May 18th, 2008 at 7:13 pm [Reply]

    MT: this would not have happened if Mark had gotten Andy neutered, is all I’m sayin’.

  27. Artist formerly known as Ben
    May 18th, 2008 at 7:16 pm [Reply]

    Dr Jeff? I’m sure he’s awaiting his mail order bride from Haiphong, so Mary’s tramping around won’t bother him much.

  28. PeteMoss
    May 18th, 2008 at 7:18 pm [Reply]

    25. vkbceb

    I was wondering the same thing. That whole last panel is really disturbing. Like some something from a David Lynch movie. Look at the horror in the eyes of that woman in the far right. It’s like that Almafi brother is about to punch someones lights out to show how much he regrets not appreciating his mother more. Maybe he’s just going to start punching his own face over and over again. Maybe he’s done this before – which would explain the swelling.

  29. PeteMoss
    May 18th, 2008 at 7:21 pm [Reply]

    Momma (5/17) – Speaking of unsightly hair growth, in panel two there are long, strands dangling out of Momma’s house dress. Ychhsh!

  30. PeteMoss
    May 18th, 2008 at 7:27 pm [Reply]

    I feel confident that Mark Trail has his bread truck gassed-up and ready to go and will be trailing those dognapper bad guys in no time – maybe Wednesday’s or Thursday’s strip. If he were in the Judge Parker space/time continuum, he might not get to it until about August.

    “You stole a friend of mine’s puppy!” SMACK! Mark Trail means Action!

  31. Poteet
    May 18th, 2008 at 7:29 pm [Reply]

    # 13 Frinkenstein — BWAHAHA! And oh, how I wish that would happen.

    # 17 Sorako-chan — HAR!! Yeah, calling this fiasco a “plan” is giving Mark waaay too much credit.

  32. Agent 07
    May 18th, 2008 at 7:33 pm [Reply]

    One Big Happy: I can’t help but notice how all the guys in here got real quiet (for a change).

    Yes, I’m a guy too. And no, don’t be askin’.

  33. Poteet
    May 18th, 2008 at 7:36 pm [Reply]

    # 28 PeteMoss — There is often strange fascination to be had in ignoring MW dialogue (if one can) and just following the hand/arm gestures. It wouldn’t surprise me if Moy and Giella had some kind of secret semaphore code going and are waiting for some reader to crack it and win fifty dollars.

  34. RaJ
    May 18th, 2008 at 7:42 pm [Reply]

    In the second panel, I like to imagine Momma has just gotten her credit card declined at Starbucks, or else is in the midst of being ignored by the local bartender. These scenarios are meant to distract me from the fact that she is glaring at her son’s crotch, Christ.

  35. Muddtallica
    May 18th, 2008 at 7:50 pm [Reply]

    So Mary’s “available”, now, is she? That doesn’t tally with what she told a certain Captain Kangaroo lookalike that we all know, love and miss. Looks like ol’ Aldo was right to “refuse to believe she preferred to be alone”…

  36. Weaselboy
    May 18th, 2008 at 7:55 pm [Reply]

    MT: I can’t tell if that’s a comma or a period after “Holy mackerel,” but I’m willing to bet that Strunk and White prefer an exclamation point following an exclamation.

  37. Mibbitmaker
    May 18th, 2008 at 7:57 pm [Reply]

    FW: This one is dedicated to Howie Mandell.

    BBailey: “…Oh, Great, now my toungue just fell off!”

    FC: SIBLING ORGY!! …Yeccchh!!

    H&L:
    Kid version: Sure, just as I want to do something fun, they make me a slave to crappy hard work!
    Parent version: We work ourselves ragged to give ‘em food and shelter, the least they can do is some of the work for their room & board!
    Snark version: Oop, the lawnmower that was stalking Jughead the other day just got Chip! Hey, this can be a comics-wide theme: The Stalking Lawnmower!

    Garfield: ROTFIHL, eh? Must be a new acronym…

    MT: New strip: “Trail’s Lagoon”

    Cranky: More Cranky malpropisms… the most suddenly puzzling and pointless retrofitting of a character’s personality trait since Snoopy got the early-’90s inexplicable need for cookies.

    S-M: I want to say that that’s an awfully judgemental, shallow, and presumptuous audience at the play…. but we already know the woman, so I can’t.

    Fred Basset: Shouldn’t the 2nd mean dog be named “Bluto”?

    FOOB: The answer is to your left, Ellie.

  38. Talking Squirrel
    May 18th, 2008 at 7:58 pm [Reply]

    MT: Dialogue inside the van.

    Andy: “Hey sweetie, I got some Christian Bros. in this barrel here — how’s about a little nip?”

    Bitch: “Why not, big fella, let’s get a little loose!”

    Andy: “OK, let me crack ‘er open…” (pawing at mini-cask clumsily, knocks the lid off and the tracking device clangs to the floor of the van)

    Bitch: “SON-of-a … Hey Boss! This big galoot’s WIRED!!”

  39. Mibbitmaker
    May 18th, 2008 at 7:59 pm [Reply]

    Oh, btw…

    Our own Harry Paratestes got a mention on the SNL cold opening last night!

  40. RaJ
    May 18th, 2008 at 8:02 pm [Reply]

    That woman holding her partner’s arm in the first panel of Mary Worth seems too excited. The only reason to be that eager to see a dead woman is if she promised you her entire estate, or else was about to make you see the Sex and the City movie with her.

  41. Alfred E. Neuman
    May 18th, 2008 at 8:07 pm [Reply]

    Josh— I second commodorejohn’s (#3) call for your comment on Saturday’s “One Big Happy”. It was extensively discussed in the yesterthread (#s 165, 208, 225, 227, 256, 259, 262, 266, 267, & 273. Apologies if I missed anyone.). In my many decades of reading the comics, I have never seen a newspaper-based strip as disturbing as this one. While I love crude humor as much as the next ‘Mudge, in my opinion Saturday’s OBH was way out of line. What do you think?

  42. Sarah
    May 18th, 2008 at 8:21 pm [Reply]

    Today’s FOOB and Baby Blues were both about mothers yelling “BECAUSE I SAID SO.”

    You know, I don’t remember my mom ever saying that.

  43. Lulu
    May 18th, 2008 at 8:24 pm [Reply]

    I’m pretty impressed by Francis’s ability to randomly undress men in public so quickly that they’re left standing confounded in their barbershop-quartet-style hats and strangely-patterned undies.

  44. Orange Doorhinge
    May 18th, 2008 at 8:30 pm [Reply]

    MW: perhaps Mrs. Amalfi left Mary all her money? Or, she’s not really dead, it’s just a joke? That might explain the orange walls.

  45. JOC
    May 18th, 2008 at 8:30 pm [Reply]

    Has anyone else noticed that Mark Trail is quoting a famous line? “Holy mackerel, Andy” was the catchphrase of Amos ‘n Andy, the 1920s-1950s radio and TV comedy that was, as Wikipedia notes, “based on archetypes of African-Americans” and was created by white guys Freeman Gosden and Charles Correll. (It’s here.)

    An arcane show-biz reference to suck in the intelligentsia, perhaps?

  46. Cranky
    May 18th, 2008 at 8:35 pm [Reply]

    I would give anything for an Andy thought bubble above that van. “Drive, damn you, drive, and get me far away from the clueless, hairless ape and his wasp-waisted non-sex partner. Someone help me get the battery out of this radio thing he implanted in my flesh. Wait, what does the label say on this “transmitter”? Fisher-Price? Oh, forget it, just drive!”

  47. Dean Booth of the Affect Ad Patrol
    May 18th, 2008 at 8:53 pm [Reply]

    #45, JOC: Good Catch. I’m surprised that didn’t occur to me, too. My brothers and sister and I used to watch Amos and Andy on TV when I was in kindergarten/first grade. The humor in the show made a strong impression on me. I have nothing but fond memories of it now, and certainly don’t remember it being racist (I’m sure it would seem very different were I to watch it now). We also were big fans of Beulah, a sit-com about an African American maid.

  48. Spotted HØrse, Jungle Steed
    May 18th, 2008 at 8:56 pm [Reply]

    Opus: Berke, buddy, my condolences to you and hope you feel better soon. I have to observe, however, that your Yearning For Zion wives are teh hawt, even in their compound crafted Prairie Wear. Why, though, does the syringe-wielding doctor have “Nine” scrawled on his butt?

    http://www.uclick.com/client/wpc/wpopu/

  49. Talking Squirrel
    May 18th, 2008 at 8:57 pm [Reply]

    MT, Sunday: “Attributing human emotions to wild creatures is a mistake people make… animals have no conception of such things as mercy, sportsmanship or morality.”

    I must say, however, that the three sharks in that panel certainly have an esthetic appreciation for that fetching purple badonkadonk. Note how they circle it, the better to observe its callipygian splendor from all angles.

  50. aleksmakk
    May 18th, 2008 at 9:06 pm [Reply]

    It’s at testament to his focus and coordination that even in the depths of emotional distress, Ron is able to pat his head and rub his stomach at one go.

    It is probably this display of manual dexterity that got Mary so hot and bothered in the first place.

  51. Kate
    May 18th, 2008 at 9:09 pm [Reply]

    I just read the “One Big Happy” everyone’s been talking about.

    Um.

  52. Curmudgeon Curmudgeon
    May 18th, 2008 at 9:15 pm [Reply]

    Forget your shame at laughing at Momma, you should be ashamed you know the names of the supporting characters in the strip, such as Thomas. I realize that he is referred to by name in this particular strip, but that is no excuse.

  53. Diamond Joe
    May 18th, 2008 at 9:15 pm [Reply]

    #26 andreavis:

    According to Wikipedia, Andy was neutered in 2000.

    #48 Spotted HØrse, Jungle Steed:

    The “NINE” looks like a play on Al Hirshfeld’s habit of hiding “NINA” (his daughter’s name) all over his drawings. What the significance of it is, I dunno. Today’s strip seems more like a pile of inexplicable joke-like material (the cult-type multiple wives, Hillary Clinton’s stun gun, etc.) than an actual joke.

  54. Stij
    May 18th, 2008 at 9:18 pm [Reply]

    @saturday’s comix:

    6C: Two women casually discuss murdering their husbands. This wouldn’t bother me so much if they didn’t look so damn nonchalant about it. What was supposed to be a “cute” joke came out sounding more like a Stephen King plot. Do women really find this stuff funny?

    FW: Harry’s wife’s name is apparently Harriet, and looks exactly like him with a wig. Um, yeah…can we add “incest” to the list of disturbing things FW has done?

    OBH: So Jermey from Zits isn’t allowed to say “sucks”, but this somehow gets by the radar? WTF is all I have to say.

  55. Josh
    May 18th, 2008 at 9:33 pm [Reply]

    People, enough with the “I can’t believe you haven’t talked about [Comic X].” The comics don’t just have to be wacky, they have to be the basis for me to say something funny about them, something beyond “Gosh, that sure was wacky.” Not that I always succeed at being funny about them, mind you, but I have to at least feel inspired to try.

    And what kind of country would we live in if we couldn’t read about bed-wetting little boys who enjoy wearing silky underwear in the funny pages? Communist Russia, that’s what.

    Josh

  56. evil_bacteria
    May 18th, 2008 at 9:36 pm [Reply]

    Today, I realized that the idea that dinosaurs roamed the Earth is in direct contradiction to a literal interpretation of the Bible, which says that Earth is only a few thousand years old. So is the concept of cavemen, because their existance suggests the veracity that old hobgoblin, Evolution. So Johnny Hart’s entire career was devoted to blasphemy! Somehow, I feel better about the world, knowing that.

  57. Cranky
    May 18th, 2008 at 9:37 pm [Reply]

    In Communist Russia, Comics read you!

  58. ThursdayNext
    May 18th, 2008 at 9:38 pm [Reply]

    OBH–am I just blind? naive? Something about mobsters? Sicilian Elvis-wannabes? Geriatric gang members? Sheep? Why is this strip remarkable today?

  59. bobbaloo
    May 18th, 2008 at 9:42 pm [Reply]

    what the heck is that pink thing on Mary’s back? it wasn’t there in panel 1…

  60. Mac
    May 18th, 2008 at 9:50 pm [Reply]

    I think that someone should note, however, that Berke Breathed has gone completely and utterly insane.

  61. Shlomo
    May 18th, 2008 at 9:53 pm [Reply]

    Is Ron saying, “Thanks Mary. Let’s go inside now and talk about how I screwed up my life in front of all of these people who are here to bury my dead mother”?

    Thanks to Momma, I never again have to wonder about Thomas wearing boxers or briefs. I can cross that off my to do list before I die.

  62. Mighty Max King
    May 18th, 2008 at 10:00 pm [Reply]

    There’s something about how that corpse is shooting out from the middle of Mary’s face that fills me with the deepest dread.

  63. Thinks He's Brenda Starr
    May 18th, 2008 at 10:01 pm [Reply]

    #59. It’s her cape. Mary does hate to miss an opportunity to dress up as The Meddler, even at a funeral.

  64. teddytoad
    May 18th, 2008 at 10:04 pm [Reply]

    How cool would it be to redo MW panel one Chinatown style: “With my mother! . . . With my brother! . . . With my mother and my brother!”

  65. Les of the Jungle Patrol
    May 18th, 2008 at 10:07 pm [Reply]

    The One Big Happy is cute.

    Sheesh, y’all.

    http://www.creators.com/comics/one-big-happy/18674.html

    Seriously, all the folks that are shocked b this seem to also be in ladies undergarnments, as you’ve got your panties in a knot. What the heck is the problem with showing a transgender youth? If you ignore queers, they don’t magically disappear or something.

    So again, I say sheesh to you.

  66. CanuckDownSouth
    May 18th, 2008 at 10:13 pm [Reply]

    FOOB – yesterthread’s Rosencrantz & Guildenstern refs may have finally given me a way to get through the Foobocalypse with my sanity intact. I can just imagine it playing out in the BookWorld. Warren is now free to lead his life since the audience isn’t reading him. Liz could in truth be a very complex character who has been phoning it in as she’s been given worse and worse dreck over the years. But that’s OK with her as it gives her more time to study the theory of textjumping for her BookWorld police career.

    And whenever I need to be in my happy place, I can just imagine Elly being reduced to text when LJ retires…

  67. Donald The Anarchist
    May 18th, 2008 at 10:21 pm [Reply]

    MW “There are a lot of things I should have done…with my mother, with my brother…” “I’M available!” “Thanks, Mary. Let’s…now.” My version may be misleading, but I think it catches the subtext.

    MT I wonder how many Andy’s there have been. Ya think he’s Mark Trail’s version of Kenny?

    Momma Francis is quite skilled at talking men out of their clothes. I think I know how he’s been paying his rent all these years…

  68. Les of the Jungle Patrol
    May 18th, 2008 at 10:23 pm [Reply]

    In reply to my own comment (#65) and because it’s 3:15 AM in my time zone . . .

    I read the whole bed wetting shame as insane back story. That kid lies a lot. Well, all the kids in that strip have crazy, false stories all the time.

    So, (much like the backstory to the boy who cried wolf), the kid has come up with a nutty story to justify his current situation. The grandpa, who has spent enough time with the kids and their crazy stories, therefore, doesn’t really believe him, but is willing to encourage his flight of fancy.

    And the last panel, where he says he likes wearing them, is where the truth comes out. He’s wearing his sister’s underwear because he wants to. He likes them. And he wanted to tell people about it, but he knew he couldn’t just tell them that he likes dressing like a girl, so he invented a crazy story.

    That’s what I got out of this. Because otherwise, it’s too cruel and shaming for the comics and not in the normal spirit of One Big Happy. Which i quit reading because it was too cute and sweet, like Rose is Rose lite.

    Anyway, re yesterthread: transsexual mudges unite! I bet there’s at least three of us . . .

  69. Sorcyress
    May 18th, 2008 at 11:11 pm [Reply]

    #68

    I’m not a transsexual by any stretch, but its damn fun to dress up like a boy sometimes. I especially like having a tailcoat to wear –I like it way better for formal events than the dresses people expect me to wear.

    So I count as a half, I suppose.

    ~Sor

  70. Nemo
    May 18th, 2008 at 11:22 pm [Reply]

    I read the bit about Mary hitting on guys, then scrolled down and saw that there were 69 comics.

    Really, I’m just posting this because if I have to have those images in my head, so do you people.

  71. bats :[
    May 19th, 2008 at 12:46 am [Reply]

    Monday, Monday, can’t trust that day:

    FW: geez….when did Les grow an Elly/Funky ass?

    JP: okay, if you live on a farm, you don’t get parking tickets. Because you’re surrounded by farm animals. And you don’t have cable. And you don’t have anything better to do than spy on your neighbors.
    Unless there’s that stallion…

    MT: oh, man, I feel sorry for Andy. Looks like he’s coming down HARD.

    MW: I’m officially tired of this plot. Nobody should be as hand-wringing as the Amalfi Bros. Can we have a new one, even if it is as equally lame as a Chester or a Little Mary Sunshine one?

    RMMD: Andy was apparently too smart to volunteer for the deserted high school patrol. I think the boredom would’ve killed him, and heaven knows he’s probably experienced long, long stretches of it.

    Brewster Rockit: I *knew* Harrison was missing something…

    9CL: if Amos and Edda break up for a little while, can we have some stories about Mark and Seth? Seth and Solange? Mark and Solange? Mark and Seth and Solange?

    FOOB: this probably explains why he’s taken to ghost-writing 124-page-long Hardy Boys series (in large font). Thrilling! Pedestrian! Patterfoobian!

  72. Pinokeyo\'s Wife
    May 19th, 2008 at 12:51 am [Reply]

    Though I find Mary’s usual wardrobe inconsistencies during Mother Amalfi’s funeral/ reception troubling, the greatest problem I have overall is the appearance of the apparently “professional mourner/ seat filler,” Wilbur, on the 15th. Either Mary simply brought a date to the show, or Wilbur just follows Mary to every pot luck–post mortem or not–that she attends.

  73. Sheila Sternwell (the former Mrs. Tuddrussel)
    May 19th, 2008 at 4:08 am [Reply]

    #4 bats :[ — I deliberately didn’t read the MW strip because youse guys mentioned the open casket, and I was already squicked by the closed casket earlier in the week. MW is really getting to be cutting edge lately. No sir, I don’t like it!

    OBH — I generally don’t read the strip, but did this time because of all the kerfuffle. Now I wish I hadn’t. Did our culture just slip back 50 years without any warning?

    Monday Garfield — Liz has killed Charlie Brown and stolen his shirt! Alert the authorities!

  74. MWDG
    May 19th, 2008 at 5:26 am [Reply]

    I will not be able to work today… I have so many questions regarding MW

    Didn’t Donna have any elderly friends? Please note that the woman behind Mary resembles Sandy Duncan. Did Mary come unasscorated? Where is Jeff? Are either of Donna’s sons married?

  75. K. Ivan Ruppert
    May 19th, 2008 at 7:19 am [Reply]

    Was I the only one who looked at the comic and thought to myself “Why is Bill Clinton hitting on Mary Worth?”

  76. Ranger
    May 19th, 2008 at 9:12 am [Reply]

    It is very clear that the author of Mark Trail wrote ‘bitch’ in today’s strip, but the paranoid editors at the syndicate changed it to say ‘female dog.’

    On another note, I bet Andy willingly followed her in hopes to get away from Mark for good. He probably thought, “send me running to the village will you? I’ll show you, floor it pony tail!”

  77. TimeMachineBroken
    May 19th, 2008 at 10:32 am [Reply]

    #75 Thank You! I read this entire thread just to see if anyone else thought Bill Clinton was doing a guest appearance in Mary Worth!

  78. Brick Bradford
    May 19th, 2008 at 10:47 am [Reply]

    MT “Holy Mackeral, Andy”–Wow! A rare “Amos ‘n Andy” shoutout. Mark’s doing Kingfish!

    Geez, am I the only one here old enough to catch that? Guess I’ll do a “guest panel” in Crankshaft or something.

  79. Edgy DC
    May 19th, 2008 at 11:18 am [Reply]

    Between panels two and three, there can’t be a scant second, based on how far the dognappers have gotten. But, in that time, the moon has disappeared and the cityscape has been reshaped. None of that warrants a “Holy mackerel!” No, but thieves sophisticated enough to employ cars do..

    Am I on acid or is Mark Trail?

  80. Paul1963
    May 19th, 2008 at 1:44 pm [Reply]

    Seeing that Momma, with Thomas standing there dumbfounded in his underwear in the last panel, I can’t help but picture Francis snatching off his brother’s suit, shirt and tie in one sweeping motion, accompanied by a loud ripping sound.

    Funny thing about Amos & Andy: From 1985 to 1987, I worked at a video rental place (not part of a chain) in Annapolis, MD. Our location put us near several African-American neighborhoods, and among the most frequently-rented items were the two volumes of A&A episodes our store owner was able to wring out of the distributor. For something that was effectively withdrawn from distribution because it was supposed to be offensive to African-Americans, it sure was popular with our African-American customers…

    My Sunday paper showed up sans comics this week, something I didn’t discover until after it was too late to call and have them delivered.

  81. Nurse with a penis
    May 19th, 2008 at 2:08 pm [Reply]

    MW: Every room in this story-line is some shade of ORANGE. Today we have a hideously decorated orange room with blue curtains.

  82. Brick Bradford
    May 19th, 2008 at 4:15 pm [Reply]

    ooops. A tip of the Bradford space helmet to JOC #45. Gotta read more carefully before posting, or somebody will give me an ultimatoe.

  83. Heidi
    May 19th, 2008 at 9:31 pm [Reply]

    Just park a psychadelic van in Mark Trail’s driveway and pop a doobie between his lips and we’ve got ourselves a regular episode of Scooby Doo.

  84. bark collars
    May 22nd, 2008 at 5:03 am [Reply]

    Yesssss…nice strips! You rock!!! Keep it coming!

  85. DebT
    May 22nd, 2008 at 4:00 pm [Reply]

    What is Ziggy?

  86. LoMinang
    May 26th, 2008 at 12:35 am [Reply]

    Is it bad that, at first (admittedly very tired) glance, I thought that Ron’s text read:

    “There are a lot of things I should have done differently!… With my mother!… With my boner!…”

    Maybe that’s just my subconscious trying to make the comic funny.

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