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Let’s privatize the military, for efficiency!

Crock, 1/20/13

I continue to be puzzled and irritated by the continuing existence of Crock, which, after publicly insulting me, decided to waltz off into the sunset. The official line was that new Crocks would cease on May 20, 2012, and King Features would supply “Classic Crocks” to newspapers for the next three years. Except the post-May 20 strips have looked not like classics (which I perhaps optimistically assumed meant installments from the early years of the feature) but instead pretty much like the last few years worth of strips, except not repeats, so I have no idea what their story is. Anyway, I bring this up not to harp on it endlessly, but only to suggest that maybe it’s only in this weird, ambiguous afterlife that the strip finally feels free to make a searing indictment of the practices of modern capitalism.

Family Circus, 1/20/13

I’m pretty pleased by the sight of little Jeffy stooped over under the weight of his own sadness, and since his parents always seem to hold their little redheaded son in a fair amount of contempt, I’m a little surprised they aren’t as tickled as I am by it. I’m at least assuming that their shared glance is less “What can we do to cheer him up” and more “Are you fucking kidding me?”

214 responses to “Let’s privatize the military, for efficiency!”

  1. Rocky Stoneaxe
    January 20th, 2013 at 8:35 am [Reply]

    Sherman’s Lagoon

    Hawthorne considers himself a curmudgeon — and I heartily agree:

    http://www.jsonline.com/comics/32402404.html?feature_id=Shermans_Lagoon&feature_date=2013-01-20

    How many of youse guys get invited to parties? I know, me neither…

  2. lorne
    January 20th, 2013 at 8:36 am [Reply]

    King Features probably kept Crock running so that it would still be in newspapers when French troops actually returned to North Africa, moving the strip from “culturally irrelevant” to “vaguely distasteful”.

  3. Rocky Stoneaxe
    January 20th, 2013 at 8:50 am [Reply]

    Luann

    Yes, but is Frank washing his face with his wife’s clean underwear? Or is said underwear dirty? Inquiring minds want to know:

    http://www.gocomics.com/luann/2013/01/20

    And I imagine Brad DeGroot’s underwear has so many tracks even a clueless Crock character couldn’t miss them…

  4. Rocky Stoneaxe
    January 20th, 2013 at 9:00 am [Reply]

    PBS

    There’s actually someone who has fewer social skills than Brad DeGroot:

    http://www.gocomics.com/pearlsbeforeswine/2013/01/20

  5. bbofun
    January 20th, 2013 at 9:12 am [Reply]

    A3G- Can you say @*%# in the newspaper? If you’re not Beetle Bailey? (Honestly, that’s one of the more blatant swears I’ve seen in a strip.)

    DT- Oh, my! (Plus, nice acknowledgement without causing a fuss of Mr. Takei’s, um…lifestyle. Bravo!)

    JP- “No, what I meant was, it’s midnight in Paris- she probably hasn’t gotten in yet- wait a couple hours, then call.”

    RMMD- Thank you.

    LUANN- So, in the Luanniverse, the sight of someone washing their face in the bathroom is alarming? “What are you doing?” “”Washing my face. And then I’m going to brush my teeth- because I’m CRRRAAAAZZZZYYYY! Bitch.”

  6. Powers
    January 20th, 2013 at 9:15 am [Reply]

    @bbofun (#5): Er, no, the sight of her husband rubbing his face with her underwear is alarming. Did you even read the last panel?

  7. pugfuggly
    January 20th, 2013 at 9:20 am [Reply]

    Crock Apparently Crock is down with the ‘Black Bloc’ faction of the Anti-Globalization movement. Smash the System! Bring down Authority! ….uh, France out of Tunisia…?

    FC They had spent the night running the numbers every way they could, and the inescapable conclusion was that they could never repay the debt. But which child would they have to give the man in the black trenchcoat? Suddenly, Jeffy came down the stairs….

  8. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    January 20th, 2013 at 9:22 am [Reply]

    deadtree B&C: guest-written by our own N. Scudder.

    deadtree PD: proving that not everything is better with dementors.

    deadtree Crank-n-stank: where is the “delete bookmark” on the damn paper?

    Frazz: is a thing of beauty. *applazz*

    9CL: *confused* but SG is clearly not wearing one.

    A&J: heeee! I love this strip.

    AD: /facepalm

    GF: d’awwwww. *pets Satchel*

    Luann: subtex, amirite?

    HotC & Lio: *applaz*

    SBp: but his wisdom worked for the Avatar!

    JP: $muggity$muggity$muG$mug$mug.

    Bizarro: /fail x 3

    DT: o MY!

    MT: Cherry wanted flowers, and this is what Mark got for her.

    Mutts: too soon.

    Ghost-who-wears-stripy-pants-to-hide-his-stiffy: mmmmm, Savarna.

    RMMD: now with extra manga power lines!!!!

    Foxtrot: *applaz and wild cheers*

    SFx: is that the “happier than” guys from the Gieco ads?

    Retail: win. with hearts and flowers.

  9. Nekrotzar
    January 20th, 2013 at 9:37 am [Reply]

    I’m intrigued by Crock’s response to the idea that the presence of the downsized troops would have given them a chance of survival: ‘Rubbish.’ THe dismissal is stated but left unexplored. Is he saying that even if the troops were there, they would be so outmatched in preparation and morale that defeat would be equally inevitable? In which case, isn’t the deeper commentary really: ‘It doesn’t matter what American companies do, the Chinese will own us eventually anyway’? Or perhaps Rechin and Wilder are simply saying: ‘Hey, three more years of easy paychecks.’

  10. The Ridger
    January 20th, 2013 at 9:40 am [Reply]

    JP Dear Lord. I was hoping that Neddy’s $120K annual income from Sam was for everything. But there’s a separate account for household – which Sam pays “from here”. That’s just her spending money. (Sure, Sam says “school and spending money” but no school gets its tuition by the month.)

    But I still can’t figure why the bank called them after she overspent her monthly allowance once. How overdrawn IS she?

  11. Liam
    January 20th, 2013 at 9:41 am [Reply]

    Luann-He knows what he’s doing. He likes rubbing your panties on his face.

    MW-There is a floral pattern on the cake? There is so much pink on that cake the pattern must have blended in with it.

    MT-It’s called the corpse flower because it eats people.

    Blondie-Who are you lady?

  12. Rocky Stoneaxe
    January 20th, 2013 at 9:55 am [Reply]

    Today Baldo veers into Scary Gary territory:

    http://www.gocomics.com/baldo/2013/01/20

  13. TheDiva
    January 20th, 2013 at 10:00 am [Reply]

    FC: Jeffy approaches the idea of playing, watching television, and doing other toddler-type things with world-weary apathy. Maybe he realizes he’s been doing this for fifty-three years.

  14. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    January 20th, 2013 at 10:03 am [Reply]

    Beetle – Buxley’s dress is red? And she can open her eyes? I, I’m going to go sit down.

    Slylock – Shady Shrew went on to say “Brothers and sisters have I none…” before he was suppressed by the bailiff.

    Dick – Oh, my! (Joining in the chorus of general approval here.)

    Mark – Is Cherry really talking, or is she just standing around like a giant squirrel or comically oversized finch? HOW can we ever KNOW?

    Marfield – The kid thinks, and the dog hears it. The dog talks out loud. Or maybe it’s just Mark Trail, off panel.

  15. seismic-2
    January 20th, 2013 at 10:09 am [Reply]

    FC: Note that nowhere in planning the day’s itinerary does Jeffy set aside any time for the toilet or the tub. Those Long Johns will get pretty baggy by bedtime. Of course, they already are, since he hasn’t taken them off in over a week now.

    DT: This cameo appearance comes a month too late, because it would have been so cool to see George Takei at the helm of the Space Coupe! Anyway, it’s fun to see St. Sebastian’s being chosen as an appropriate law enforcement official for this special occasion. Wink wink, nudge nudge.

    RMMD: Have the Morgans found a new nursemaid for the coming baby? You don’t mess with Honey!

    The Comics Journal has a nice look back at the history of Gasoline Alley.

  16. tb4000
    January 20th, 2013 at 10:14 am [Reply]

    Luann: “And this the closest you’re ever gonna get to me putting my mouth in that vicinity, bitch. So savor this view.”

  17. TheDiva
    January 20th, 2013 at 10:14 am [Reply]

    9CL: So, it’s just a “man forced to hold his wife’s purse gag.” With spandex.

    C’shaft: At least he didn’t say “Yeah, there’s no place like Nome.”

    FW: Great, that’s just what the comics page needed, another Crankshaft.

    MW: “I wanted to reflect the nature theme of the contest in a unique way, by making it stiff and artificial and shockingly pink and not a bit like nature at all.”

    Pluggers are cheap bastards.

    SM: So, Kraven was the hero of this arc, right? Think about it: he finds love, defeats his opponents, and rides off into the sunset. Meanwhile, Spidey scratches his head before heading back to the hotel to catch up on Dr. Oz.

  18. Jocelyn Knockersbury
    January 20th, 2013 at 10:19 am [Reply]

    I’m starting to think Kevin Rechin pulled a flounce; that is, he slammed you, tried to make you look like a horrible person, then pretended to leave forever and ever amen because you were a big meaniehead, but had no actual intention of leaving. Or perhaps changed his mind and kept it quiet so he didn’t look like a dink. Unfortunately, I can’t find a single thing about Crock since last year’s articles about Kevin retiring the strip.

  19. the REAL Mark Trail
    January 20th, 2013 at 10:23 am [Reply]

    Todays Mark Trail was done by me, several months ago… while researching prchids, I kep finding these fascinating plants and was a but suprised to find that they all belong to a certain group, s0o0o0o0… there was the genesis of the idea for a page. I enjoyed doing this page and the opportunity to draw thses strange flowers! Also, there’s a bit of a hidden underlying context here… I wonder if anyone will get it?
    ‘James Allen
    http://www.facebook.com/groups/228474710549025/

  20. Arabella
    January 20th, 2013 at 10:26 am [Reply]

    FW: Oh, that plucky Ann, bravely making quips while her husband is debilitated.
    Note to families of hospital patients — do not be a wise ass to medical personnel who hold your loved one’s fate in their hands.

  21. Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist
    January 20th, 2013 at 10:35 am [Reply]

    Why do “Shoe” characters need aeroplanes? They…are…birds. Non-flightless birds. ¡Gah!

  22. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    January 20th, 2013 at 10:39 am [Reply]

    slothbomb.

    ikkle big kitteh. *brainmush@jaguar eyes*

    tawny frogmouth as seen in Mark Trail.

    handsome cardi pup.

    not Pudge, but same coloration.

    This lady has trained her corgi to fetch beer. (30 sec vid.)

  23. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    January 20th, 2013 at 10:41 am [Reply]

  24. Chip
    January 20th, 2013 at 10:49 am [Reply]

    So Spidey lets the criminal mastermind escape, but rounds up the annoying pets so the ZOO can have a few more chimps.

  25. Chip
    January 20th, 2013 at 10:50 am [Reply]

    WOW! A rare appearance by Cherry in a Sunday strip!

  26. Cranky
    January 20th, 2013 at 10:51 am [Reply]

    Nothing about whatever the hell is going on in Arlo and Janis? Queek, can you explain?

  27. Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist
    January 20th, 2013 at 10:56 am [Reply]

    22. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii
    Commando

    If you turn the photo upside down to get a sloth eye view it makes a whole different kind of sense.

  28. Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist
    January 20th, 2013 at 10:58 am [Reply]

    So…Herb…went to hold Jamaal’s vomit bowl? Was that what the verbosity was about?

  29. gleeb
    January 20th, 2013 at 10:59 am [Reply]

    Prosecuting Attorney Fox: Max desperately tries to hide his illiteracy, not even noticing the page is blank.

    ‘shaft: How long, she wondered. She had the poison, but how long would she wait before using it. And would she poison her father or herself?

    ‘bean: Yeah, it’s like the doc is saying crap like “vendo”, “solo car date”, and other stuff that normal humans would never say. Anyway, aphasia means a return to the comix pages of the kind of of “Boxcar!” humor that has been missing since Lynn Johnston killed her father.

    Baldo: I will never understand the running gag in this comic that beef tongue is supposed to be somehow disgusting. That stuff is damned yummy.

    Dick: The drama! The suspense! Will George Tarawa catch the cold that Tracy is obviously a carrier of?

    June Morgan, RN: Well, I must admit “Rex is the hypotenuse of a love triangle” is something I would not have guessed.

  30. gleeb
    January 20th, 2013 at 11:01 am [Reply]

    @Cranky (#26): Janis is unable to read the small type on her phone, and so must step up to a larger screen.

  31. Flying Manatee
    January 20th, 2013 at 11:02 am [Reply]

    FC – Is Billy still a cast member of FC or has Jeffy killed him off? Sure don’t see him much anymore.

  32. Rod Bassy
    January 20th, 2013 at 11:04 am [Reply]

    Please don’t tell me this Spiderman story arc that I was so happy to see over, is just going to keep going?

  33. endless sky
    January 20th, 2013 at 11:06 am [Reply]

    Pluggers: Warren Buffett wouldn’t waste $4.99 on a card either.

    @Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist (#27): Ahhhhgh! Just dropped my computer trying to turn picture upside down.

  34. I speak Jive
    January 20th, 2013 at 11:23 am [Reply]

    Rex Morgan – “Beach trash?!” That last panel is awesome.

    9CL – Brooke must have recovered from his bout with carpal tunnel – he’s back to drawing with one hand. I don’t want to get into a rant about the lovingly drawn and shaded legs, but knowing that Edda was inspired by his daughter really creeps me out.

    @the REAL Mark Trail (#19): I thought that today’s strip was your work. The flowers were nicely done.

  35. Dartpaw86
    January 20th, 2013 at 11:25 am [Reply]

    Jeffy has no choice in the matter, he is being literally forced to do all these things every single day as pure torture. Did you notice the … after every sentence. That is the sign that he is painfully sighing in his mind, all the time.

  36. seismic-2
    January 20th, 2013 at 11:30 am [Reply]

    @gleeb (#29): ‘bean: “Toggle” (or are they now calling him just “Leo”?) in Doonsbury struggles with aphasia. You just know Batiuk hated seeing another strip’s highlighting a malady that hadn’t shown up in Westview yet.

    Today in Mark Trail: flowers large enough that Sassy can fall into them and drown. Let’s hope.

  37. gleeb
    January 20th, 2013 at 11:32 am [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#36): True, there is Toggle. But his aphasia isn’t stroke-related. And Batiuk isn’t a good enough writer to handle the material above “Boxcar!” standards.

  38. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    January 20th, 2013 at 11:35 am [Reply]

    @gleeb (#30): and she’s usually the “do everything on a smart phone” queen.

    it was a very ‘in character’ joke, as well as a nice take on the “nearsighted past 40″ trope and the standard technology gag.

    *nearsighted past 40, and not liking it at all*

  39. Right Venerable Pasdordan
    January 20th, 2013 at 11:38 am [Reply]

    The Amazing Spider-Man: Did you know that chimps are capable of ripping a grown man’s arm right off? I’m as disappointed as you are.

    The Family Circus: “That’s strange. Dr. Spock says questions about productivity in one’s career leading to despair don’t begin to emerge until nine.” “Hmpf. That’s right, Thel. I don’t usually feel like ending it all until at least the second donut.”

    Frank and Ernest: But Frank got some surreptitious cellphone video, so now they’re all gonna be sorry.

    @the REAL Mark Trail (#19): Are you responsible for the talking rafflesia, or do the clip art people take care of that for you? Do you get a spec sheet? “Must include 5 nature facts, one talking animal/plant/Cherry”? Inquiring minds, etc.

    Mary Worth: Do you suspect the corpse of John Dill’s mother is sitting in a rocking chair in his spare bedroom? I suspect the corpse of John Dill’s mother is sitting in a rocking chair in his spare bedroom. Keep the crazy coming, Moy and Giella. This isn’t as fun as a trout-fishing movie mogul, but it’s getting there.

    One Big Happy: I hate that it’s sometimes necessary to subtitle “Honey Boo-Boo.”

    Rex Morgan, M.D.: When the revolution comes, the beach trash will be first up against the wall. I would buy a coffee mug with that last panel on it, totes.

  40. the REAL Mark Trail
    January 20th, 2013 at 11:43 am [Reply]

    @I speak Jive (#34): Thank you!
    ‘James

  41. Right Venerable Pasdordan
    January 20th, 2013 at 11:44 am [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#36): FTFY:

    Today in Mark Trail: flowers large enough that Sassy Rusty can fall into them and drown. Let’s hope.

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#38): I hate that my damn bifocals don’t work, and I’m forever moving things nearer or farther or just taking the effing things off to see what’s going on.

  42. Right Venerable Pasdordan
    January 20th, 2013 at 11:46 am [Reply]

    @the REAL Mark Trail (#40): Yes, though I poke fun above, the Sunday strips are the best thing about MT, and it’s kinda cool to have (one of) the artists show up in the comments here.

  43. the REAL Mark Trail
    January 20th, 2013 at 11:57 am [Reply]

    @Right Venerable Pasdordan (#42): THANKS for the kind words! I have become considerably more involved in the daily strips as well and I hope to put the same attention to detail in them! MT has a long history of fine wildlife art and I am THRILLED to be involved!!
    ‘James

  44. I speak Jive
    January 20th, 2013 at 11:58 am [Reply]

    Mary Worth – Yeah, when I think “nature,” the first thing that comes to mind is Pepto Bismol pink.

  45. Kibo
    January 20th, 2013 at 12:06 pm [Reply]

    Textbooks of the future will say, in the chapter on dead media, “‘Crock’ turned into an Ayn Rand pastiche so slowly that nobody noticed.”

  46. Droopy Says
    January 20th, 2013 at 12:08 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#36): Large flowers, hell. I’m hoping Lost Forest gets overrun by triffids.

  47. Cloudbuster
    January 20th, 2013 at 12:10 pm [Reply]

    A3G: I hope nobody said this Saturday, but when Greg said “The moon is too bright and the city is too quiet. Something here feels wrong.” all I could think of was…

    Obi-wan: That’s no moon. It’s a space station.

    Please, please introduce Darth Vader and death stars into the A3G plot!

  48. The Ridger
    January 20th, 2013 at 12:14 pm [Reply]

    @the REAL Mark Trail (#19): I think you mean subtext and … oh yeah … wow … is it hot in here?

  49. The Ridger
    January 20th, 2013 at 12:16 pm [Reply]

    @Arabella (#20): When my mother had a stroke, no doctor talked like that. When my father was hospitalized last month with pneumonia, if a vaguely technical term crossed the doctor’s lips it was followed by an explanation. This is a lot more of Batiuk’s hate for professionals and service industry people than any “quipping” by Ann…

  50. The Ridger
    January 20th, 2013 at 12:20 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#38): Most people get farsighted as they age – thus they have to wear glasses to see what’s close. Me? I was so nearsighted as a kid that now, nearly sixty, I can read even at arm’s length without the glasses!

  51. debussy fields
    January 20th, 2013 at 12:21 pm [Reply]

    MT– This strip commonly features beavers and chipmunks that appear to be the size of dinosaurs, so it’s hard to tell just how big that flower next to Cherry really is. Give us a better clue.

  52. bats :[
    January 20th, 2013 at 12:24 pm [Reply]

    JP: “I’d better tell Abbey about this first so we can have angry, angry sex tonight.”

    Phantom: “I’m really glad to see that you’re alive, Savarna, but all this touchy-feeling stuff…GAH!!!!!”

    @Cranky (#26): I don’t get it, either.
    @gleeb (#30): Really? Well, okay.

    MW: that’s IT? That’s the prototype for the competition cake? Eff me. Unless the other contestants are entering stale Hostess cupcakes, just out of the cellophane, you are so boned, John. (But I have a hunch that what or who he wants to bone…yeah, like many of us haven’t gone in that direction…)

    DT: I just had a hunch (and I don’t even have George friended on FB), that This Was Going To Happen. SO COOL! (Still…George and a Crimestoppers’ Notebook to gladiators? Oh, myyyyyy.)

  53. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 20th, 2013 at 12:25 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#1): I’d go to more parties, but I’m scared of being eaten by sharks.

  54. mollificent
    January 20th, 2013 at 12:26 pm [Reply]

    Josh, I must protest. Harping on things endlessly is MY department.

  55. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    January 20th, 2013 at 12:31 pm [Reply]

    @Right Venerable Pasdordan (#41): always needing readers to go with my contacts here. (my glasses are bifocals and work just fine, but I only wear them late at night or first thing in the morning.)

  56. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    January 20th, 2013 at 12:32 pm [Reply]

    @mollificent (#54): *pounces the mollificent*

    GLOMP!

    did you see the harpist mermaid that I posted for you a day or two back? :-)

  57. Rocky Stoneaxe
    January 20th, 2013 at 12:35 pm [Reply]

    Monty — Sorry, but I can’t bring myself to laugh at the Pink Panther’s Fleshy the Cat’s minor (and seemingly endless) medical problems. Reddick needs to stop exploiting his cartoon feline — like the time he tried to market Fleshy’s dandruff as a sugary breakfast cereal:

    http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_LGVEnAur8fQ/SiLpOzHH9MI/AAAAAAAAA18/b_8eeYQzLHI/s320/pink_panther.jpg

  58. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 20th, 2013 at 12:38 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#8): deadtree B&C: guest-written by our own N. Scudder.

    B&C? What’s that? Oh, Barney & Clyde. Thanks.

    // Except that Zimbabwe, although it has many problems indeed, is not especially war-torn. I’d have used Somalia.

  59. Doctor Handsome
    January 20th, 2013 at 12:43 pm [Reply]

    “Gonna” finish a coloring book – OK, the kid’s determined; he’s got goals. “Need” to eat breakfast – Fair enough, eating is undeniably a neccesity. “Wanna” watch Spongebob – Yeah, me too. It’s a funny show. “Gotta” build a new snowman? That’s where you lose me. Why you gotta? Who’s making you? And doesn’t “new” imply that you’ve already got a snowman? The snowman doesn’t need to be a priority, Jeffy. Take a nap if you’re that overtaxed.

  60. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 20th, 2013 at 12:44 pm [Reply]

    @endless sky (#33): Pluggers: Warren Buffett wouldn’t waste $4.99 on a card either.

    Right you are. He didn’t get rich by buying people Hallmark cards.

    // Of course, he might well have bought the company.

  61. mollificent
    January 20th, 2013 at 12:45 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#56): Hi darlin! I’m sorry to say that I didn’t. I’ve been having real trouble getting up on time recently, so I usually have time to read the blog but not catch up on the comments. Sorry about that! (Today I simply couldn’t resist. ;)) I’ll try to find it when I get home!

    Off to work…*sigh*

  62. mollificent
    January 20th, 2013 at 12:47 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#56): P.S. Just found it. (That was the day I overslept and missed the blog entirely!). Now that is badass. Thanks! :)

  63. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 20th, 2013 at 12:53 pm [Reply]

    Baldo: I’d watch the Tia Carmen cooking show.

    BB: Holy minced oath! Rachel has gone viral! Heh, heh. If she’s made it to Beetle Bailey, that scam is doomed! // I always tell the Rachel guy that I don’t need their help. I’ll be paying off those credit cards real soon, once my Nigerian friend transfers all that money to my bank account.

    Brewster Rockit: Poor Winky! It’s always his spleen, isn’t it?

    Two Dr. Phil references in one day: Curtis and Fusco Bros.. Look out world, he’s going viral.

  64. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    January 20th, 2013 at 12:54 pm [Reply]

    FW – I assumed “What Button for English?” was a comment on the need for her husband to re-learn how to speak. Is she really just complaining that the doctor didn’t dumb it down enough for her to understand? I don’t know what she expects.

    Dr. Hibbert: Homer, I’m afraid you’ll have to undergo a coronary bypass operation.
    Homer Simpson: Say it in English, Doc!
    Dr. Hibbert: You’re going to need open-heart surgery.
    Homer Simpson: Spare me your medical mumbo jumbo!
    Dr. Hibbert: We’re going to cut you open and tinker with your ticker.
    Homer Simpson: Could you dumb it down a shade?

  65. Doctor Handsome
    January 20th, 2013 at 12:58 pm [Reply]

    If Jeffy thinks he’s got a heavy workload now, just wait until he grows up and has to wake up every day and draw one panel that may or may not contain a mild pun. He’ll be hitting the booze pretty hard, for sure.

  66. the REAL Mark Trail
    January 20th, 2013 at 1:02 pm [Reply]

    @The Ridger (#48): YES… subtext, sorry. However, I think you get the “implied funny”

    @debussy fields (#51): they’re not huge chipmunks and beavers… think perspective
    :)
    ‘James

  67. NonnyMus
    January 20th, 2013 at 1:04 pm [Reply]

    What exactly d’ya think the unshaven ninjas are going to do with that officer in green?

  68. Liam
    January 20th, 2013 at 1:16 pm [Reply]

    JP-It costs a lot to live in Europe. To enjoy all those services they have Europeans pay about 99% of their income in taxes.

    A3G-Eric is one of Margo’s many dead lovers. You better watch out that woman is a black widow.

  69. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    January 20th, 2013 at 1:20 pm [Reply]

    MT: Given the way that Cherry is eyeballing the largest “flower” she’s ever seen, I’d say we’re getting a glimpse of Cherry’s early-stage “O” face.

  70. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    January 20th, 2013 at 1:22 pm [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#17):

    “I wanted to reflect the nature theme of the contest in a unique way, by making it stiff and artificial and shockingly pink and not a bit like nature at all.”

    John Dill’s cake is the pink aluminum Christmas tree of the cake-decorating world.

  71. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    January 20th, 2013 at 1:24 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#55): Me, too. I wear my contacts to work, with my reading-glasses on a chain around my neck. I’m such a school-marm.

  72. Liam
    January 20th, 2013 at 1:26 pm [Reply]

    DT-”I hope it’s Dick Tracy. I love Dick.”

    FC-Why is the mother’s head turned 180 degrees?

  73. Esther Blodgett
    January 20th, 2013 at 1:32 pm [Reply]

    GF: Saddest puppy-dog faces ever. Poor Satchel. :(

    FW: I don’t understand what this has to do with cancer.

    Luann: That’s a pretty complicated story to cover up the fact that he likes to rub his face in his wife’s panties. Own your fetishes, Frank. Own them.

    MT: Subtext? Where? Behind the giant labial flora?

  74. The Ridger
    January 20th, 2013 at 1:50 pm [Reply]

    JP: Paul Krugman in a blog post today on inequality and recovery notes:

    So am I saying that you can have full employment based on purchases of yachts, luxury cars, and the services of personal trainers and celebrity chefs? Well, yes. You don’t have to like it, but economics is not a morality play, and I’ve yet to see a macroeconomic argument about why it isn’t possible.

    So the Parker-Spencer-Drivers are doing their bit. Except for Neddy, who’s spending her money in France.

  75. seismic-2
    January 20th, 2013 at 1:51 pm [Reply]

    DT: Actually, the creative team scored a double win with the timing of today’s Crime Stoppers, since January 20 is in fact the feast day of Saint Sebastian (as well as George Takei Day in Tracy-world). Well planned, Mr. Staton!

  76. Aviatrix
    January 20th, 2013 at 2:04 pm [Reply]

    SMBC: I know it’s not this blog’s usual fare, but I imagine others were equally puzzled by yesterday’s votey and then today saw that it was supposed to be today’s votey. Has Zach made any comment about what happened to the original one? (A lot of Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal’s humour comes from crossing scientific topics with base human nature. It’s home to the most erudite penis jokes on the Internet. I imagine if Randall Munroe thinks of an idea too crude for xkcd he sends it to Zach. The “votey” is the extra cartoon panel you get by mousing over the red dot at the end of the strip).

  77. Calico
    January 20th, 2013 at 2:11 pm [Reply]

    @bbofun (#5):
    Re: 3G – Plus, “Loaded.” In that context anyway.
    I’ll say it again, Margo needs a spinoff strip.

  78. Calico
    January 20th, 2013 at 2:20 pm [Reply]

    MW – “Come with me Mary into the dungeon downstairs gym!”
    Zits – nice PP with the DD colors.
    RM – “Beach trash”? Wow.
    JP – Gigolos, Perrier Jouet and heroin, or someone is scamming Ned’s account…
    MT – Cherry looks so enamored of the garbage/corpse flower – ugh
    Beetle – lots of Miss B. lately! I don’t mind one bit!
    Are Curtis and DT the only strips that show smoking now, save for Jazzy Phil in Refoob? (Pipe smoker)

  79. Calico
    January 20th, 2013 at 2:22 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#71):
    But do you wear Sunglasses at Night? : )

  80. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    January 20th, 2013 at 2:26 pm [Reply]

    JP: It’s appropriate that in the Parkerverse, all the suspense revolves around discovering how someone is spending large amounts of money.

  81. Chip Whittle
    January 20th, 2013 at 2:28 pm [Reply]

    @the REAL Mark Trail (#43):

    HANKS for the kind words! I have become considerably more involved in the daily strips as well and I hope to put the same attention to detail in them! MT has a long history of fine wildlife art and I am THRILLED to be involved!!

    I would be glad–sincerely glad–to see the daily Mark Trail enjoy more thoughtful work in the art and the plotting. As much fun as it is to laugh at the clip art follies and the Spider-Man-Can’t-Believe-This-Stuff story lines, I enjoy Dick Tracy more now that it’s sincerely good and I hope for the same for Mark.

  82. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 20th, 2013 at 2:35 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#76): Speaking of sciencey/techy web comics, anybody have any idea what happened to Abstruse Goose?

  83. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 20th, 2013 at 2:41 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#76): Oh, and thanks, I didn’t know about the “votey”!

    // Now I’m going to have to go back and look at every damn one. So much for the day.

  84. Uncle Lumpy
    January 20th, 2013 at 2:44 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#71):

    I got a separate pair of single-vision specs for computer work — when I used my regular varifocals, my neck started hurting because I had to tilt my head back all day.

  85. Calico
    January 20th, 2013 at 2:49 pm [Reply]

    I know it still sucks, but is Sunday’s Crock a Blackwater joke?

  86. Jim Davis
    January 20th, 2013 at 2:53 pm [Reply]

    I think today’s Get Fuzzy is comic genius, and I’m a little disappointed you didn’t mention it. Come on Josh, we can’t dwell on the worst of the Sunday page all the time!

  87. Aviatrix
    January 20th, 2013 at 3:00 pm [Reply]

    @The Ridger (#10): I imagine the price of having ten grand a month spending money is that it isn’t a private personal account. It’s an account jointly owned by the parents and child, and they both get statements. And I just love how hard they are rubbing it in that the money is just spending money. On the other hand, the household expenses might include the salaries of a couple of servants.

  88. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    January 20th, 2013 at 3:01 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#71): it does lend itself to occasional corgi posts, so I don’t mind the look. ^o.o^

  89. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 20th, 2013 at 3:01 pm [Reply]

    @Chip Whittle (#81): What he said. Look at the Ed Dodd strips if you need inspiration. There’s some 1960s Mark Trails here.

  90. Shrug, Running Third Behind Achilles and the Tortoise
    January 20th, 2013 at 3:01 pm [Reply]

    @A Smirch Unheeded (#yy274):

    “No, I don’t think that could happen. Like God creating a rock so heavy he cannot lift it,”

    ***************
    In my commonplace book I have a quote from (IIRC) Heinlein’s PODKAYNE OF MARS which answers the paradox to my own satisfaction. From memory:

    “Could God create a stone so heavy that He could not lift it?”
    “No.”
    “Why not.”
    “Because He wouldn’t want to do so.”
    “That’s no answer!”
    “Sure it is. Think about it. Would you?”

  91. Aviatrix
    January 20th, 2013 at 3:03 pm [Reply]

    @the REAL Mark Trail (#19): MT: The crowning detail of this strip is the EXIT door in the last panel. It clarifies that Mark and Cherry are only at a botanical garden exhibit, because even in the continuity-free world of the Sunday strip, Cherry would never be permitted so far from home as to join Mark in the rainforests of Sumatra.

  92. Calico
    January 20th, 2013 at 3:05 pm [Reply]

  93. Aviatrix
    January 20th, 2013 at 3:07 pm [Reply]

    @gleeb (#29): I had never had beef tongue until some friends took me out to lunch at a deli. That stuff is amazing. Everyone who is not vegetarian, Hindu or a member of the Family Circus family should go try it NOW!

  94. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 20th, 2013 at 3:08 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#84): Same here. Had an old pair of military BCGs converted special.

    // Birth Control Glasses — heavy black or brown frames that were standard issue in the US Military for decades. So called because if you wore them on liberty you would never have to worry about fathering unwanted children.

    // Buddy Holly got away with it, though. Exception TPTR.

  95. Where\'s Waldo, Heck, Where\'s Kraven?
    January 20th, 2013 at 3:14 pm [Reply]

    (Poot. Posted in dead thread by error. Reposting, with apologies.)

    @Droopy Says (#yy24):

    “Spiderdick: How hard can it be to catch a handcuffed man in leopard tights and a lion-mane cape?”

    Depends on where you’re looking:

    Main steet of Dubuque, Iowa: Should be easy.
    Casino district of Las Vegas, NV: Could be tricky.
    Castro Street, SF, Saturday night: Hopeless. Blends right in with the crowd.

  96. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    January 20th, 2013 at 3:17 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#84): Yep–had to add those to my eyeglass repertoire a couple of years ago.

  97. Aviatrix
    January 20th, 2013 at 3:18 pm [Reply]

    Adam seems strangely desperate today. “Ugh, January, January … too late for Christmas jokes, too soon for Presidents’ Day, what have I got for January .. ah I got nothing.”

    BC: Is there a comics term for when one character’s excited dialogue knocks another one upside down?

    Dil I had a Skype call like that last week. The other guy was literally sitting in a closet in Switzerland speaking Klingon, and the connection kept freezing. (Literal literally, not the figurative kind).

    Foxtrot Hint kids: we work really hard to take the photos when there is not snow on the ground. Unless you live on a glacier, your Google maps photos are going to be taken during snow-free months.

    FW: With the number of strokes people suffer in this town, medical staff were correct to expect that level of knowledge from the family. Had they used less specific terms they would have been criticized for condescension.

    MW: Compare today’s cake to yesterday’s and you’ll see that Dill’s technique includes decorating the top layer before placing it on the bottom one. And the paper “plan” Mary is holding resembles the finished cake in no substantial way.

  98. Stroker Ace
    January 20th, 2013 at 3:19 pm [Reply]

    FC – The Keanes should have saved this strip for Mental Health Awareness Week. Jeffy needs help.

  99. Aviatrix
    January 20th, 2013 at 3:21 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#83): You know about the mouseover text in xkcd and the archive caption in Dinosaur Comics, right? (If you’re going to lose a day, you might as well do it right).

  100. Vince M
    January 20th, 2013 at 3:26 pm [Reply]

    Today’s RMMD reminded me of one of my favorite quotes: some years back I was with a number of friends including two funny, beautiful young ladies I am pleased to know, all hanging out chatting at a dock at a lake in the summer sun…then this speedboat goes by, with a stunning blonde gal water skiing, very, very well. All of us guys just stop talking and gawk singlemindedly as she goes by, until one of the girls sarcastically snorts “Well, I guess *we’re* just *dock trash* now, huh?”

  101. Amos Snarkadder, CQB
    January 20th, 2013 at 3:35 pm [Reply]

    MW “I want my cake to reflect the nature theme of the contest in a unique way.”
    Hey, I hope John Dill reads today’s Mark Trail!* I can’t imagine a more unique way to reflect nature than to slap a 100-pound titan arum on top of that pink sucker!

    *expertly rendered by the REAL Mark Trail @the REAL Mark Trail (#19)

  102. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 20th, 2013 at 3:47 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#99): Got xkcd. There’s a mouseover in Dinosaur too — is that the same as the “archive” caption you mention?

  103. Baka Gaijin
    January 20th, 2013 at 3:49 pm [Reply]

    PREDICTION: In Mr. Dill’s mind, the one thing missing from the cake is a small sugar statuette of the Venus de Meddle. Mrs. Worth will not be amused.

  104. Aviatrix
    January 20th, 2013 at 3:51 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#102): No, there’s a separate caption for each strip in the archive list, same idea as the mouseover, but different text. I believe he uses the archive text to introduce each strip in his Twitter and Facebook feeds.

  105. Aviatrix
    January 20th, 2013 at 3:52 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#103): You must have missed yesterday’s strip: that’s not a prediction, it’s a recap!

  106. Amos Snarkadder, CQB
    January 20th, 2013 at 3:53 pm [Reply]

    BG&SS Yeah, Rod Bassy was an insufferable braggart. But he proved no match for Snuffy Smif.

    Luann It’s hand sanitizer. It has some alcohol in it, which is why your face is burning. Sort of like after-shave lotion. No big deal. It’s not like your face will be permanently scarred from acid burns. Get over it. And get your face out of your wife’s panties. There are children and clergy present.

  107. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 20th, 2013 at 3:53 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#97): The other guy was literally sitting in a closet in Switzerland speaking Klingon…

    Wow. The two nerds played by Simon Pegg and Nick Frost in Paul used Klingon as a secret language… I didn’t think it happened in real life.

    Your outfit must be super into security!

  108. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 20th, 2013 at 3:56 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#104): Ah. Got it. Thx.

  109. Inkwell
    January 20th, 2013 at 3:56 pm [Reply]

    Why would a Keane kid watch SpongeBob? Believe it or not, that thing became pretty freaking violent around season 5– like, “rip people’s skin off” violent. And any season before that was probably full of adult jokes.

    Given how hip and current FC is, I guess it’s probably still in season 1.

  110. Aviatrix
    January 20th, 2013 at 3:57 pm [Reply]

    9CL: This would make more sense were he not already holding her purse in the first panel.

  111. Zhrug, Who Leaves the Sign of a Z
    January 20th, 2013 at 3:58 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#yy137):

    “Pearls – A friend of mine came up with a whip-wielding superhero, many years back, and was looking for a better name than “Whipmaster.” I suggested “Jack the Whipper.” We never spoke of it again.”

    Make him into a funny animal (or a bear-identified Furry) and he could be “Lash LaPooh.”

    // You’re welcome.

    Alternate comment: I’ve suggested to Mrs. Shrug that the next cat we get should be named “Lash LaTail.” I just now thought for the first time to google that and find that no one seems to have beaten me to the idea, which is mine and is my idea even if it has nothing to do with dinosaurs, and is mine.

    Alternate alternate comment: years ago, a friend who thought he was expressing his musical appreciation for The Pogues remarked that he “really loved RUM, SODOMY AND THE LASH.” I replied that I now knew what to get him for his next three birthdays.

    // You’re still welcome.

  112. Horace Broon
    January 20th, 2013 at 4:00 pm [Reply]

    ASM: So it turns out Spidey can’t be outwitted by a chimp. Who’d have thought it?

    JP: Following from Josh’s philosophical musings on Friday, this strip quickly establishes that Neddy’s financial problems do not indicate any bottom to the overall Driver-Spencer coffers. Indeed, the mystery is why someone with access to them would need to spend their own money at all.

    MW: It’s not even fun to snark at this any more. And the dialogue indicates that it’s not Giella’s fault. He may well know that cakes don’t have to be shallow pink cylinders, and in a professional cake contest probably won’t be, but every page of the script says “a circle covered in pink icing! That’s how you know it’s a cake!”

    Retail: Valentine’s Day? My local supermarket already has a display of chocolate eggs, chicks and bunnies. Remember, it’s only fifty shopping days til Easter!

  113. Baka Gaijin
    January 20th, 2013 at 4:08 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#105): I saw the strip. I didn’t think about the Venus de Meddle until today. Has anyone else noted that the intricate cake blueprint Mr. Dill is holding is about as artistic as a Donna Lewis drawing?

  114. Amos Snarkadder, CQB
    January 20th, 2013 at 4:09 pm [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#17):

    FW: Great, that’s just what the comics page needed, another Crankshaft.

    Let’s just hope that Crankshaft and Fairgood are in fact one and the same. Some sort of missing link between Westview hell and Centerville hell.

    @gleeb (#29):

    And would she poison her father or herself?

    Couldn’t it be both?

  115. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 20th, 2013 at 4:10 pm [Reply]

    BG&ss: Those horrible red tongues! The lolling tongues in this strip used to be the same color as the character’s skin. Now – like staring into some hell maw.

    Snuffy and Sheriff Tate need to check with Doc immediately, as they may be suffering from one (or more) of the following diseases, of which bright red tongue is symptomatic:

    Pernicious anaemia
    Vitamin B12 deficiency
    Folate deficiency
    Candida infections
    Riboflavin deficiency
    Nicotinic acid deficiency
    Immunosuppression
    HIV
    Immunosuppressive medications
    Chronic disease
    Malignancy
    Aphthous ulcers
    Herpes simplex

    Or they may have both just enjoyed a tasty sweet Faygo™ strawberry soda!

  116. Aviatrix
    January 20th, 2013 at 4:14 pm [Reply]

    9CL from yesterday: That’s hilarious. McE’s playing to the groundlings. Not as blatant as Crock personally insulting Josh, but McE can draw, so he doesn’t need to pander to such an extent.

    What if every single Crock strip ever actually does make sense to some small demographic. If you were at a particular dinner party in 1983, or the author’s grade nine class, you would understand every odd turn of phrase, every apparent art error, and pick up on references you didn’t even know were there.

  117. MWDG
    January 20th, 2013 at 4:15 pm [Reply]

    MW:

    Mary hasn’t been with a real “functioning” man in over twenty some years (other than the concilman she gave a BJ to). John Dill is a uber macho cake decorator who knows how to control his woman… and I think this turns Mary on!

  118. Shrug, Who Came in Third and Got Away With this Name
    January 20th, 2013 at 4:19 pm [Reply]

    @Crankshafts funky smelling corpse (#y261):

    “Dick Tracy: Why’d they name the guy after a pacific atoll whose claim to frame was a vicious battle where nearly all the Japanese defenders were wiped out, and over 1000 US Marines were killed in action?”

    Staton and Elrod had an election bet; the loser had to name a character “Rod Bassy” and the winner only had to name a character after a pacific atoll whose claim to frame was a vicious battle where nearly all the Japanese defenders were wiped out, and over 1000 US Marines were killed in action. Staton won.

  119. Majicou
    January 20th, 2013 at 4:31 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#116): I think that needs a Conspiracy Keanu macro, although it would be a bit long to fit in a smallish image in Impact font.

  120. Majicou
    January 20th, 2013 at 4:33 pm [Reply]

    @Zhrug, Who Leaves the Sign of a Z (#111): I hope you realized how lucky you were to receive such a setup. Many might go their whole lives without such an opportunity.

  121. Melmoth77
    January 20th, 2013 at 4:39 pm [Reply]

    Dick Tracy: From George Takei’s facebook:

    “Beginning last Sunday (Jan. 13), and continuing for about two months, the Dick Tracy comic strip on Sundays is featuring a storyline involving me and my husband Brad. I appear under the name “George Tawara.” The story has a WWII internment connection, and we are truly honored to be a part of it.”

  122. Shrug, Plugging Away
    January 20th, 2013 at 4:44 pm [Reply]

    @gleeb (#30):

    “Janis is unable to read the small type on her phone, and so must step up to a larger screen.”

    To demonstrate my Plugger credentials, my first take on the strip was that Janis was looking at the mirror in her compact, saw something she didn’t like, and ran to the computer to google “bleeding mole” or something.

    Then I realized that Janis, unlike Shrug, carries a cell phone which is also a camera which is also a computer which is also probably a doomsday machine, and that instead she probably saw something naughty but exciting on her tiny iPhone screen and ran to get a better look on the bigger computer screen, locking the door lest Arlo catch her at it.

    When I mentioned this to Mrs. Shrug, she was properly contemptuous: “Nobody carries a compact any more.”

    // No kids on the lawn at the moment, so I guess I’ll go yell at the sparrows to get off my lawn.

    /// Actually, I may soon have to stop yelling at rotten kids to get off my lawn, since our handyperson is bringing our Little Free Library set around tomorrow:

    http://www.littlefreelibrary.org/

    and I can start yelling “hey, rotten little kids, get on my lawn and take a book!”

  123. Aviatrix
    January 20th, 2013 at 4:47 pm [Reply]

    I have found a new thing to hope for in Mary Worth. The arc will be about hubris. John Dill is so certain his cake is perfect that Mary, who realizes that it is a fairly competently executed boring pink cake, has decided to go along with him. He will arrive at the competition and we’ll see him ice his two-layer round cake and then carefully apply the textbook roses and garlands around the edges while all around him rise cakes of astonishing beauty and complexity. When he steps away from his cake to seek momentary solace in Mary’s arms, someone mistakes his entry for a cake-themed seat cushion, and puts it on a chair. The destruction of the cake by someone’s buttocks will be off panel, showing us only the horror in John’s eyes.

  124. Shrug, With Ketchup
    January 20th, 2013 at 4:52 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#53):

    “I’d go to more parties, but I’m scared of being eaten by sharks.”

    Crap. You go to ONE little party and you get eaten by a shark ONE little time and you’re still complaining about it. Wimp.

  125. Peanut Gallery
    January 20th, 2013 at 4:56 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#57): Nostalgia attack! I remember Pink Panther Flakes. Although I have to admit, anytime I want to recreate the experience, I guess I could just put on pink-tinted glasses and eat a bowl of Frosted Flakes.

  126. Calico
    January 20th, 2013 at 4:56 pm [Reply]

    FC-Jeffy in a Richard Simmons style bodysuit, no less.
    Life is brutal.

  127. Amos Snarkadder, CQB
    January 20th, 2013 at 5:16 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#123):

    The destruction of the cake by someone’s buttocks will be off panel, showing us only the horror in John’s eyes.

    Please, oh please, let that someone be Ian Cameron.
    //Or, more to the point, let it be Ian’s fat ass.

  128. Alison
    January 20th, 2013 at 5:39 pm [Reply]

    “Adam @ Home”: That last panel isn’t needed at all. Well, none of this strip is needed at all, but that last panel REALLY isn’t needed. Is this a new trend? That comics are so bad they need an extra panel to explain “Guess what, that last line was the funny part”? Oh dear.

    “Mary Worth”: I just don’t get John Dill. First he was all, “I’m not good enough. I should not enter this contest.” Then he suddenly had the attitude of, “How dare you say my cake is not perfect!” And now he’s back into, “Winning is a pipe dream for me, SIGH” mode. Are different people who never talk to each other writing this character?

    “Family Circus”: Mommy’s giant mutant slippers appear to be bigger than her entire head.

  129. Écureuil Écumant
    January 20th, 2013 at 5:44 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#115): Or Kawasaki syndrome, which would be especially nice if they developed coronary artery aneurysms and croaked.

  130. The Ridger
    January 20th, 2013 at 5:50 pm [Reply]

    @Alison (#128): Shall we guess which two the kid has heard of? I say MLK and Eli Manning. (Is the kid Adam? Is the father? Is this typical of this strip, so I don’t need to add it?)

  131. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 20th, 2013 at 5:55 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#123): This maybe ought to get an award of some kind. I LOLed.

    // It’s probably too short for a Pulitzer or Booker – if only there were some other recognition a comic commentary on comic strips could receive!

  132. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 20th, 2013 at 5:59 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug, With Ketchup (#124): Wimp.

    It’s because I’m missing an arm, isn’t it? I’ve half a mind to fustigate you.

    // Laugh at a man with half a mind? For shame!

  133. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 20th, 2013 at 6:03 pm [Reply]

    @Alison (#128): That comics are so bad they need an extra panel to explain “Guess what, that last line was the funny part”?

    That’s artist’s homage to Snuffy Smith: the last panel alway shows the characters laughing at the joke.

  134. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 20th, 2013 at 6:08 pm [Reply]

    @Écureuil Écumant (#129): Kawasaki syndrome

    Not to be confused with Kawasaki-Suzuki Syndrome, where you can never play a violin while riding a motorcycle again.

    // So rare, but tragic. Give all you can.

  135. bats :[
    January 20th, 2013 at 6:08 pm [Reply]

  136. Droopy Says
    January 20th, 2013 at 6:16 pm [Reply]

    @Horace Broon (#112): Don’t be too hard on the chimps. They ran out of banana peels.

  137. Aviatrix
    January 20th, 2013 at 6:18 pm [Reply]

    @Alison (#128): Every panel in that whole strip comes across as a desperate cartoonist staring at an empty square and thinking, “I have to write something! It doesn’t matter if it’s funny or even related to anything!” And no, it’s not typical for Adam to be so lame. Perhaps if we scrutinize it carefully we’ll discover that it’s a call for help. Maybe he’s on an island and needs to be ransomed.

  138. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    January 20th, 2013 at 6:21 pm [Reply]

    @The Ridger (#50): As another nearsighted person, I have to admit I’ve had little sympathy for the “oh, no, I need my glasses to read!” people. I mean, I have to wear glasses to read (because if I hold whatever it is close enough to be in focus, it’s about two inches from my face and that is No. Fun. to do for more than a few lines), to feed myself, to find the bathroom, to drive, etc.

    I’m also not sympathetic about the “where are my reading glasses?” people. I mean, hell, if I misplace my glasses, I either have to ask someone else to find them for me, or resign myself to patting every surface in the house to locate them, and not just be unable to read the cereal box or whatever.

    Mostly this is normal, so I have my routines and it doesn’t bother me that I have to wear glasses 95% of the time I’m awake, and I can handle myself well enough during the 5%. But, gah, the whining.

  139. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    January 20th, 2013 at 6:25 pm [Reply]

    @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#138): That came out a bit harsher than I intended. Hooray for bottled up rants, suddenly released.

  140. Droopy Says
    January 20th, 2013 at 6:26 pm [Reply]

    @the REAL Mark Trail (#66): Subtext? I don’t know if the deadtree world is ready for Mark Trail-flora slashfic, but that could make a good story.

  141. Uncle Lumpy
    January 20th, 2013 at 6:26 pm [Reply]

    @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#138):

    Yeahbut. Farsighted people with presbyopia can’t read anything but billboards: at the minimum focal distance — well beyond the reach of their arms — the type is too small. But yeah, whining.

  142. Alison
    January 20th, 2013 at 6:32 pm [Reply]

    @The Ridger (#130):
    Adam is the father. The kid’s name is Clayton. The strip is called “Adam @ Home” because the father works at home. (I don’t think it’s ever been said exactly what kind of work he does, but he seems to be on the computer a lot, hence the “@”.) It used to be an okay strip but it is horrible now.

  143. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    January 20th, 2013 at 6:36 pm [Reply]

    @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#138): I confess, I’m more amused than anything by my accumulating visual-enhancement devices: bifocal glasses, contact lenses, reading glasses, computer glasses. If I keep going as I age, who knows what marvelous accoutrements I might possess in another 15 years or so?

  144. John C Fremont
    January 20th, 2013 at 6:38 pm [Reply]

    I understand the Ace of Cakes guy is making the cake for the inauguration. I hope John Dill will be watching. Maybe he’ll learn something.

    On second thought, I hope Joe Giella will be watching.

    (Typed with my glasses off so I could see the keyboard. So sad.)

  145. Rocky Stoneaxe
    January 20th, 2013 at 6:45 pm [Reply]

    @the REAL Mark Trail (#19): I know you don’t like to toot your own horn,
    so please allow me…

    ‘Mark Trail’ continues a longtime local link:

    http://www.gainesvilletimes.com/archives/22646/

  146. Chip Whittle
    January 20th, 2013 at 6:46 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#132):

    It’s because I’m missing an arm, isn’t it? I’ve half a mind to fustigate you.

    Sigh … Dave used to fustigate himself, but then they caught him at it.

  147. Liam
    January 20th, 2013 at 6:49 pm [Reply]

    Slylock Fox-Shady was also Slylock’s father’s brother’s nephew’s cousin’s former roommate.

  148. Liam
    January 20th, 2013 at 6:56 pm [Reply]

    FC-I can’t find anything snarky in what Jeffy’s thinking. I find this to be cute.

  149. Sequitur
    January 20th, 2013 at 7:01 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#143):

    Magnifying glass, binoculars, telescope, electron microscope…

  150. Alison
    January 20th, 2013 at 7:01 pm [Reply]

    @John C Fremont (#144):
    Damn, that “Ace of Cakes” guy is still around? They used to play his show so much on the Food Network (Canada version) and then it just disappeared. I don’t think it even comes on at like 3:00 AM or anything anymore. (I know of two people who’ve met the Ace of Cakes and they both said he was an ass. Go figure. He seemed good-natured on the show.)

    Actually, this whole MW arc reeks of someone saying, “Hey! Isn’t it a trend to watch people on TV make cakes? Let’s put that in the strip.” Would have been more trendy about two years ago, though.

  151. Liam
    January 20th, 2013 at 7:04 pm [Reply]

    Crock-I had all those men sold into slavery.

  152. Sequitur
    January 20th, 2013 at 7:13 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#151): They actually have more freedom now.

  153. Daniel
    January 20th, 2013 at 7:16 pm [Reply]

    The spray of bullet holes across the Crock title in the first panel suggests he’s omitting a detail or two: “I made a bundle when I got rid of those troops … with extreme prejudice.” His evil grin leaves no room for doubt, though.

  154. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    January 20th, 2013 at 7:23 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#143): Yeah, whatever my issues, I’m glad I only have to juggle two pairs of eyesight assistance!

  155. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    January 20th, 2013 at 7:27 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#141): I guess my point is that for us really nearsighted folks, it’s a matter of being unable to read neither book nor billboard. When everything beyond six inches away is out-of-focus, it’s sort of hard to feel sympathy for people who at least can see where they’re going when they step out to get the morning paper, even if they have to put glasses on later to read it.

    I mean, yeah, it sucks, but at least you’re functional outside the house, and you had a bunch of years of good vision preceding it.

    //On the other hand, I have a friend who is blind, so I should probably shut up now! *laughs*

  156. seismic-2
    January 20th, 2013 at 7:29 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#132): // Laugh at a man with half a mind? For shame!

    “In the land of the blind the one-eyed man is king, but in the land of the insane the half-wit is hanged.” – Albert “Alligator” Camus, Pogo

  157. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    January 20th, 2013 at 7:30 pm [Reply]

  158. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    January 20th, 2013 at 7:34 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#143): “If I keep going as I age, who knows what marvelous accoutrements I might possess in another 15 years or so”

    *whistles innocently*

  159. seismic-2
    January 20th, 2013 at 7:36 pm [Reply]

    @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#138): Don’t worry about your daily routines for coping with your glasses 95% of your waking hours. Some day you will retire, and you’ll have time enough at last.

  160. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    January 20th, 2013 at 7:48 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#158): Hee.

    Yeah, I got your accoutrements right here, baby.

  161. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    January 20th, 2013 at 8:05 pm [Reply]

  162. Artist formerly known as Ben
    January 20th, 2013 at 8:13 pm [Reply]

    Crock: “Um, sir? Legion stock isn’t exactly a thing.”
    “Shut up, Poulet.”

    SFx: Lesson for criminal defendants: Don’t try to confuse the court with semantics. Just go for broke and commit perjury.

    Luann: “Oh, I know it’s your panties. This is me trying to put some fire back in our marriage.”

    MT: Sadly we do not see Cherry changing her shirt between the second and third panels. That corpse flower sure as hell saw it, though, and liked what it saw.

    Agnes: At least they have a fourth wall to lean on.

    S-M: “So good luck with the whole Kraven thing. I’m going back to my hotel room to see if there are any good cable channels I missed before.”

    Blondie: So is Dagwood’s binge eating just a desperate effort to stave off dementia or what?

    Popeye: Jeep is quite the arrogant prick, isn’t he?

    Shoe: The pitfalls of being too obese to fly under your own power.

    BB: If Mort Walker is trying to dispel those rumors—you know the ones—then having a jealous Sarge try to ground Beetle and go catatonic at a woman’s touch was not the best way to go.

    JP: It’s “Midnight in Paris”? That explains it! Neddy needs to spend money to get back to the Jazz Age and hang with Ernest Hemingway. Just make sure she picks the right stocks to buy after the ’29 market crash and you’ll come out ahead.

    Ziggy: Only a few short days before Ziggy is reduced to autocannibalism.

    M-Dawg: Ach, Eva Braun can be so demanding for one’s attention!

  163. bats :[
    January 20th, 2013 at 8:14 pm [Reply]

  164. Artist formerly known as Ben
    January 20th, 2013 at 8:21 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#15):

    FC: Note that nowhere in planning the day’s itinerary does Jeffy set aside any time for the toilet or the tub. Those Long Johns will get pretty baggy by bedtime. Of course, they already are, since he hasn’t taken them off in over a week now.

    That would account for his general lethargy. After you’ve started walking on your hind legs, lugging around those feces gets tiring.

  165. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 20th, 2013 at 8:42 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#163): Love that knife carving the title thing!

  166. The Ridger
    January 20th, 2013 at 8:42 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#162): Just make sure she picks the right stocks to buy after the ’29 market crash and you’ll come out ahead. By Jove! I believe you’ve discovered the source of the Spencer fortune.

  167. Sequitur
    January 20th, 2013 at 8:44 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#157): Do they have those in a bifocal version?

  168. Amos Snarkadder, CQB
    January 20th, 2013 at 8:46 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#163): Oooh! It’s like a dream come true! Thanks!

  169. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    January 20th, 2013 at 8:49 pm [Reply]

    I’m really glad that Baka Gaijin isn’t on this side of the pond. The latest DirectTV Genie ad would send him right over the edge. (the hawk swooping the chihuahua, on the other hand, rocs!)

  170. gleeb
    January 20th, 2013 at 8:53 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug, Plugging Away (#122): There is no more solemn time than when one first detects Plugger-like aspects in oneself. Self-examination is called for, before one begins the long slide to Cranshaftism.

  171. bats :[
    January 20th, 2013 at 8:54 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#165): alas! (I love saying that.) The title is not my work. A few years ago, someone here linked to a page full of Goth titles for some of our favorite comics — this just sorta fit for the mashup (and the whole current storyline, I suppose).

  172. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    January 20th, 2013 at 8:56 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#169): I just happened upon this and thought that it was something you’d appreciate (as might others here).

  173. Emily Litella
    January 20th, 2013 at 9:11 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#172): What? That is terrible! How gross. I mean, frying dogs? Not only is that gross it is probably illegal. Besides, dogs are too big to put in a frying pan! And who would eat them? Not me, that’s for sure. And I thought you were a dog lover, Ms. unbuckled! Frying dogs! That’s completely horrible! Why…

    What? It’s flying dogs? Oh, that’s very different.

    Never mind.

  174. Crankshafts funky smelling corpse
    January 20th, 2013 at 9:20 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug, Who Came in Third and Got Away With this Name (#118):

    I figure Mr. Tarawa will have a bunch of compatriots that will show up:
    George Saipan, and Henry Guadacanal, and little Timmy Iwo Jima.

  175. Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist
    January 20th, 2013 at 10:11 pm [Reply]

    Today’s “Crock” is a paid advertisement brought to you by Blackwater Xe Whatever It’s Calling Itself Now.

  176. the REAL Mark Trail
    January 20th, 2013 at 10:45 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#69): pretty good call there bourbob babe!

    @Esther Blodgett (#73): seems some folks got it…

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#145): an arum” even mean?
    >:)

  177. Droopy Says
    January 20th, 2013 at 10:47 pm [Reply]

    @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#155): Glaucoma sucks as much as extreme myopia (I’ve got both). On the other hand I can blame some of my typos on it, and the urge to save my vision caused me to stop looking at Reply All. I think Donna Lewis is a running-dog lackey of the White Cane Manufacturer’s Cartel.

  178. the REAL Mark Trail
    January 20th, 2013 at 10:51 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#69): @Aviatrix (#91): I have turned in a daily storyline that invoilves Cherry directly in a storyline.

    @Chip Whittle (#81): thanks Chip!

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#145): THANKS ROCKY!
    ‘James Allen
    by the way, what does “titan arum” even mean?
    >:)

  179. Aviatrix
    January 20th, 2013 at 11:02 pm [Reply]

    @the REAL Mark Trail (#178): “The situation is hopeless. This flour is too amorphous and the eggs too inflexible. If only we had a number of round, flat, slightly spongy things, perhaps we could escape our predicament.”

  180. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    January 20th, 2013 at 11:08 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#93): I didn’t care much for beef tongue, but that may have been Mom’s cooking, alas.

    @Melmoth77 (#121): First I thought it said it had “a WWII internet connection.” I’ll bet it had a lot of vacuum tubes and heavy black transformers and cooling fans.

  181. Artist formerly known as Ben
    January 20th, 2013 at 11:22 pm [Reply]

    @Esther Blodgett (#73):

    GF: Saddest puppy-dog faces ever. Poor Satchel. :(

    I’m sad for Satchel but happy that Darby Conley opted not to phone it in today.

  182. Artist formerly known as Ben
    January 20th, 2013 at 11:29 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#97):

    BC: Is there a comics term for when one character’s excited dialogue knocks another one upside down?

    If there’s not there should be. That was one of Charles Schultz’s favorite tropes.

  183. seismic-2
    January 20th, 2013 at 11:33 pm [Reply]

    @the REAL Mark Trail (#178): Mark and Rusty get back from their long trip exposing Rod Bassy’s deceit, getting him banned for life from bass tournaments for steroid use, or whatever. Of course, they never did get Rod to take them in his boat or even show them his lures. As Mark and Rusty walk through the door of their home in LoFo, they see Cherry putting up her fishing rod and tackle. “Oh hi, boys, while you were gone I though I would get in a bit of fishing! Man, they were really biting out there, these last few days!” As Rusty stares in silence at a cooler full of freshly caught fish, Cherry walks away, chuckling.

  184. Aviatrix
    January 20th, 2013 at 11:48 pm [Reply]

    @the REAL Mark Trail (#178): Let me see … Titan, as in the Titans, gods, the same ones the Titanic was named for, so connotations of powerful, and Arum in some Indonesian language smells good, i.e. “smells.” So powerful stench.

  185. casino LF
    January 21st, 2013 at 12:24 am [Reply]

    @I speak Jive (#34): Beach trash girls are TOTALLY roadside.

  186. Droopy Says
    January 21st, 2013 at 12:32 am [Reply]

    Spiderdick: It’s all over the radio? Clean it up! Then ask Homeland Security what they’re going to do about this mysterious flight for which no flight plan was filed. Otherwise we’ll have to deliver the obvious punchline about Kraven making a monkey out of everyne.

    Real Dick: “And you were a much better Steve Martin than Raymond Burr!”

    FC: Insert Eisenhower/March of Dimes joke, to keep the proper FC vibe.

    Flunky: It’s a good thing this is a hospital, becase this kind of “funny” can do real damage to your funny bone. Westview, the home of sit-down comedy.

    Mock Travail: “And as you know, Mark, good fishermen never brag about their catches!”

    Pluggers: Some foods give Pluggers the queasy sensation of cannibalism.

    Phantom: “Ick! I may have unwrapped your gaping belly wound a bit too soon, Devil! But you really had guts!”

  187. Black Drazon
    January 21st, 2013 at 12:46 am [Reply]

    Did anyone link this write-up about this episode of Spider-Man and His Amazing Friends, wherein Spider-Man makes an old man god and then does absolutely nothing to solve the problem? Because it would fit right in, let me tell you.

    http://io9.com/5977192/that-time-spider+man-accidentally-let-a-sad-old-man-in-a-bowtie-be-god

  188. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    January 21st, 2013 at 1:21 am [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#177): Yeah, there’s no sense in wasting eyesight on bad comics. Bad comics you can snark on, sure, but not ones that are bad in a boring way.

  189. Droopy Says
    January 21st, 2013 at 1:31 am [Reply]

    @Black Drazon (#187): So that’s what happens when The Spider Franchise tries to rip off The Man Who Could Work Miracles: instead of an allegory about the futility and danger of absolute power, you get a Spider Shrug.

  190. Droopy Says
    January 21st, 2013 at 1:44 am [Reply]

    @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#188): If the glaucoma wins, I plan to make my final snark “Tomorrow I’ll be blind, but you’ll still see a world with Reply All in it!” (Although I’ve just had a horrible hought. Is there software for the blind that can verbally describe cartoons? Could a description of RA be as hideous as the pictures ink smears? And, Cthulhu protect us, what would it be like to get RA in Braille? I’m now more motivated than ever to keep using the Lumigan eyedrops on schedule.)

  191. Comcis Fan
    January 21st, 2013 at 2:02 am [Reply]

    Thought you’d enjoy this “Golden Girls” dialogue from a 1990 episode:

    Blanche: I love my comics. Every day, Marmaduke and Apartment 3G.
    Dorothy: I haven’t read Apartment 3G since 1961.
    Blanche: Well let me catch you up. It’s later the same day.

    That’s right friends. The Golden Girls were mocking Apartment 3G as slow-moving and outdated more than 20 years ago.

  192. Not Greg Evans
    January 21st, 2013 at 2:05 am [Reply]

    Banner ads for “Sexy Arab Girls”? What is the demographic of you people?!?

  193. tallyHO
    January 21st, 2013 at 2:22 am [Reply]

    a3g
    Hahahahahaha
    Haaahahahaha!

  194. tallyHO
    January 21st, 2013 at 2:27 am [Reply]

    Mary Worth

    Blonde woman: “The contestants seemed so young. Are you nervous?”

    [unseen panel three]

    Mary: Why no. Not at al…

    Blonde woman: Start Sweatin’. Oldie! Dawn and I are entering the competition.
    Hmmm…What’s being served? Oh, that is Just Desserts.

    Dawn: ~Snap!

    //i can’t believe three people would sit around discussing any of what is in Monday’s strip. Just what does Mary have over those people’s heads?

  195. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    January 21st, 2013 at 2:54 am [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#190): Unless someone transcribes the pictures or encodes descriptive tags, I think you’re safe. :)

  196. Majicou
    January 21st, 2013 at 2:57 am [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#190): Funny you should mention Cthulhu, as I’m sure a description of Reply All would read a lot like the Necronomicon or The King in Yellow.

  197. Aviatrix
    January 21st, 2013 at 3:03 am [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#190): I would do that. If there is a site where blind people discuss cartoons I would totally volunteer to describe them for them. I’d even do two versions, the basic quick read through, and the obsessive every detail of the art and dialogue placement. I’m not sure what I’d do for Mark Trail. I guess, “A giant foreground deer says, ‘A man I know needs me to help solve a problem,’ in Mark’s voice.”

  198. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    January 21st, 2013 at 3:18 am [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#197): I do that for a friend of mine. Pro tip: The Pirates of the Caribbean movies are just about the most entertaining thing to describe.

  199. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    January 21st, 2013 at 3:22 am [Reply]

    FW: Okay, I finally put my finger on what’s been bugging me about this story arc. Judging just by what we see in today’s strip, would we be able to tell that this woman and the blonde man are mother and son? Would we be able to tell that it’s his father who’s in the hospital? Her words and body language are not those of a mother and wife interacting with an equally stressed out adult child, but that of a woman who’s talking to herself while a nurse or other neutral comforting figure sits by.

    If you’re going to do a Serious Strip, you have to get these things right, IMO.

  200. Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist
    January 21st, 2013 at 3:26 am [Reply]

    @197. Aviatrix

    “A giant foreground deer says, ‘A
    man I know needs me to help solve a
    problem, in Mark’s voice with Mark’s fists’o’justice.”

    Fixed that for you.

  201. Droopy Says
    January 21st, 2013 at 3:48 am [Reply]

    @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#195): I think Reply All should include descriptive tags anyway (I assume Donna Lewis can describe what she’s drawing, although I realize this is open to debate).

  202. Comcis Fan
    January 21st, 2013 at 3:56 am [Reply]

    FW: Westview, Ohio, where even the extras are morose.

  203. Droopy Says
    January 21st, 2013 at 3:57 am [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#197): You’d get some kind of medal for describing Reply All, although in time you’d need treatment for PTSD. And voicing the Trailian dialog could cause problems. “Trail boldly addresses Bunny Stomper in his oaken voice. Now he speaks to Cherry in his balsa voice, as befits his lighter spirits and softer head. Doc, as always, speaks as though he has a stick up his ass.”

  204. Droopy Says
    January 21st, 2013 at 5:18 am [Reply]

    9DickweedLane: It’s a pity McEch chose this strip for an experiment in minimalism, but with luck he’ll extend it to his other characters.

  205. Handsome Pete
    January 21st, 2013 at 6:02 am [Reply]

    Crock was created in 1975, long after the idea of a corrupt defense industry had ceased to become a comical absurdity, so this Crock comic is either really naive, or really edgy.

  206. Liam
    January 21st, 2013 at 7:03 am [Reply]

    DT-Was George Takei in any movies with Warren Beatty?

  207. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    January 21st, 2013 at 8:14 am [Reply]

    Frazz: working backwards from a punchline.

    9CL: me likee. (Solange and silence are Brooke’s best features.)

    A&J: if Batty did this in FW, we’d be howling and throwing rotten fruit. Here, it’s sort of cute.

    rIP: Hammy, NOOOOOOO!!

    PBS: it’s name is Tarder Sauce, and it’s frikken everywhere.

    SBp: heh. walkies, cannot be missed.

    Bizarro: it is at Hef’s place.

    Crank: nope, not worth saving. *delete*

    PMP: yes, in two jugs. (srlsy, helping out the R34 folks with this one.)

    Pluggers. Reed Hoover LIVES!

  208. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    January 21st, 2013 at 8:15 am [Reply]

    Love Is . . .lube everywhere.

  209. gleeb
    January 21st, 2013 at 8:29 am [Reply]

    Sam Driver: Well, you know, Abbey does tend to get horribly stoned on occasion. Maybe she forgot to mention it.

    ‘bean: Look at that poor guy in the second panel. It’s bad enough being in Cancerdeathview, Ohio. Now he has to listen to these ofays complain about their comfortable, privileged lives. Maybe his friend Malik is right; maybe the struggle needs to become violent.

    Dick: The suspense continues! Will Mr Tarawa’s surprised companion ever find his glasses? Keep reading!

    Mark: Still blathering about Castor Flysnap and his bragging. But the information about how he wins fishing tournaments? It all makes him sound like a sensible guy. But Bluegill, who doesn’t take his hat off indoors, says he’s a braggart, and Bluegill is an honorable man.

  210. The Sleepy Roommate
    January 21st, 2013 at 3:30 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#194): Mary has this involuntary hypnotic aura that compels them to keep up a conversation, any conversation with her, with the anxiety that if they don’t do this then something really bad will happen. Like maybe they will seem boring and dull. Oh wait…

  211. Jumbo37364
    January 21st, 2013 at 9:28 pm [Reply]

    I’ll assume this episode of Family Circus is a rerun from the 1980′s, which probably originally showed Jeffy wanting to watch Sesame Street or something. I can imagine Jeff Keane himself when he updated the strip, exclaiming “hey, Spongebob is still cool for kids, right? Better add references in there that are still cool for kids”.

  212. chris
    January 22nd, 2013 at 1:59 pm [Reply]

    “Oh! Jeffy’s ridiculous schedule has turned my head a Linda Blair-like 180 degrees! Dear, could you rub my neck for me? Not in front of the children, though.”

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