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Metapost: A slew of Tuesday announcements!

OK KIDS HANG ONTO YOUR HATS because I have some things to share with you, some of which are TIMELY, others of which are just interesting:

  • Don’t forget that if you live near Baltimore you can see me doing improv monologues with the Baltimore Improv Group at Magooby’s Joke House! Here’s info and ticketing, except (sigh) they have “Tim Hoeckel” named as the monologist (he did it the last time). But it’ll be me and it’s funny and you should come! Apocalyptic snowstorm? What apocalyptic snowstorm! The place to be during a big snow is a comedy club, where there’s lots of booze and fried food and and funny people (who you can eat when the inevitable descent into cannibalism happens).

  • Do you live near Los Angeles? Maybe you would like to see a play based on certain characters from a certain beloved comic strip. (Hint: It is Peanuts.)

  • Also if you are in Australia, you might enjoy this exhibit of Peanuts characters mashed up with rap lyrics.

  • Also also I have been meaning for a long time to give a totally unsolicited plug for King Features’ DailyInk site, if only because I still get emails asking where to go for a build-your-own comics page site now that the Houston Chronicle shut theirs down. Yes, it’s a pay site, but it costs less than $2 a month. Did you know they’ll also deliver vintage strips, like the Judge Parkers below from 1969, which describe Sam and Abbey’s meet-cute? Obviously there are hippies involved.

And, finally, I wanted to remind all of you that don’t know that you can get updates about when I post to this site, as well as other things I write, public appearances, and dumb hilarious jokes, on Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr, and Google+!

69 responses to “Metapost: A slew of Tuesday announcements!”

  1. Rocky Stoneaxe
    March 5th, 2013 at 2:35 pm [Reply]

    Sorry, Josh, I’ll have to take a pass on Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr and Google+ since they aren’t Mary Worth-approved.

    (Although I did try to access Google+, the old biddy froze my computer screen and I was forced to reboot!)

  2. Calico
    March 5th, 2013 at 2:42 pm [Reply]

    Wow, that old JP was really soapy.

    I am on FB and GP, but I still have yet to figure out the condundrum of the latter.

  3. Esther Blodgett
    March 5th, 2013 at 2:50 pm [Reply]

    “At 23…she’s never married.” I had no idea Abbey was a lonely old maid before she met Sam!

  4. tallyHO
    March 5th, 2013 at 3:08 pm [Reply]

    So “Judge Parker” wasn’t even about the title character even back then? The comic is just the long lost treatment for “Mad Men”?

  5. Arabella
    March 5th, 2013 at 3:26 pm [Reply]

    JP-1969: Thanks for the memories, Josh. I was a faithful reader of all the soap strips through the 60s, then moved to an area where they weren’t in the daily paper. Since there was no other means of access back then, I lost track of them until discovering CC a few years ago. I probably should subscribe to DailyInk to fill in all those missing years. And for those who came in late, Judge Parker did appear in his strip in the early years. But by 1969, he was being upstaged by Sam Driver. I think they were trying to appeal to a younger demographic.

  6. Uncle Lumpy
    March 5th, 2013 at 3:34 pm [Reply]

    @Arabella (#5):

    Judge Parker had the same role in Judge Parker as Judge Hardy in Andy Hardy, showing up to nod sagely whenever son (R)andy was revealed as a total douche. Pretty much like now.

  7. Uncle Lumpy
    March 5th, 2013 at 3:38 pm [Reply]

    Hahaha, Gloria’s “dress” is just a bunch of lines drawn on her naked body. I miss the ’60′s soooo much!

    P.S. Also, DailyInk is totally worth it: large-format strips, the archives, and the least-annoying navigation around.

  8. Dood
    March 5th, 2013 at 4:07 pm [Reply]

    Holy flashback. Is that the first and only time Sam’s lost money? What ever happened to Gloria? She has that certain Margo Magee thing goin’ on.

  9. Sequitur
    March 5th, 2013 at 4:10 pm [Reply]

    There were bells on the hill
    But I never heard them ringing,
    No, I never heard them at all
    Till there was Ripleys!

    JAPANESE HONEYBEES kill invading giant hornets by swarming into a ball and cooking the wasp to death with their body heat!

    Abbey Spencer and Blondie can do that with their breasts.

  10. Ukulele Ike
    March 5th, 2013 at 4:19 pm [Reply]

    What the hell is Gloria wearing behind her head?

    Is it the same thing the guitar player in strip #5 is wearing around his neck?

    Was everyone issued one of those in 1969? It was a NIXON thing, wasn’t it?

  11. Baka Gaijin
    March 5th, 2013 at 4:20 pm [Reply]

    Judge Parker was groovy man, totally groovy.

    Seconding (thirding?) the plug for paid DailyInk. Worth the cost as is the subscription to GoComics. Together they’re less expensive than a Starbucks coffee once a week for a year.

  12. Liam
    March 5th, 2013 at 4:21 pm [Reply]

    Fifth comic down second panel: That guy can’t make wearing a bow tie cool.

  13. Johnny Q
    March 5th, 2013 at 4:25 pm [Reply]

    Nothing speaks ’70s fashion louder than the sleeveless pantsuit. (Actually, that story’s from 1969, but JUDGE PARKER was just a bit ahead of its time…)

  14. Droopy Says
    March 5th, 2013 at 4:38 pm [Reply]

    @The Right Venerable Pasdordan (#y97): Why O why hasn’t anyone just pulled a Glock and put a cap in Rusty’s ass yet?

    Have you priced silver bullets lately? And as a man of the cloth, shouldn’t you have more effective ways to dispose of him? Being an atheist that probably wouldn’t work for me, so I’d go all secular on him and alert the EPA to his intense smell of brimstone.

  15. True Fable
    March 5th, 2013 at 4:54 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#7):
    That’s the way I learned to draw clothing on my characters; I attended the Harold LeDoux School of Design By Painting Naked Figures!

  16. bookworm1973
    March 5th, 2013 at 4:57 pm [Reply]

    Since being dumped by Houston, I’ve moved on to Seattle PI’s Comics Kingdom.

  17. Rocky Stoneaxe
    March 5th, 2013 at 5:00 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#9): “Japan Honeybee Body Heat” is the original Japanese title. A few years later, Hollywood remade it as “Body Heat” with Kathleen Turner, William Hurt, Richard Crenna, Ted Danson(!) and Mickey Rourke.

  18. tallyHO
    March 5th, 2013 at 5:16 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#9):
    Abbey Spencer and Blondie can do that with their breasts.
    Bless their bodacious hearts!

  19. comcis fan
    March 5th, 2013 at 6:28 pm [Reply]

    MW: On today’s episode on “As the Soup Burns,” Mary preens over her soup’s ability to relieve Tom Harpman of thoughts of his former marriage, while Toby prepares her own medicine for Tom — a personal prostate exam. The role of Toby Cameron will be played by Lindsay Wagner.

    FW: Les’ young alter-ego is just as thoughtless as Les.

  20. Nehemiah Scudder
    March 5th, 2013 at 6:34 pm [Reply]

    FC: … or at least human.

  21. Sequitur
    March 5th, 2013 at 6:53 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#20): That little monster fits right in with that household.

    Those blue things do too.

  22. Gladly, the cross-eyed bear
    March 5th, 2013 at 7:00 pm [Reply]

    Nehemiah Scudder #20

    “Uh-oh, Daddy’s got the DTs again!”

  23. ALee
    March 5th, 2013 at 7:21 pm [Reply]

    @ralph (#y232):

    Re: old Judge Parker: Yeah, the backgrounds are nice, but the figures are off somehow (those mouths! like it was referenced badly from magazines or something), and I prefer the modern characters, too. Apartment 3-G is the strip, I think, that looked so good in the past in comparison to the ghost of artwork it is now…

  24. Amos Snarkadder, CQB
    March 5th, 2013 at 7:36 pm [Reply]

    Reposting… @Hogenmogen (y#3):

    Going on the second week of deathbed scenes, shouldn’t the kids be at least a little worried by now? Does artist Keane really think there are so many punchlines to be found in this misery?

    Well, yes. Perhaps there are…

    Get your bids in now, kids

  25. Nehemiah Scudder
    March 5th, 2013 at 7:43 pm [Reply]

    @Amos Snarkadder, CQB (#24): Fulgent!

    – I wanted to mash some comic today, but only FC seemed to suggest anything.
    Even “Love is…” was hopeless!

  26. Majicou
    March 5th, 2013 at 7:46 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#25): Tatulli beat you to doing a mashup with “Love is…” today.

  27. Sequitur
    March 5th, 2013 at 7:46 pm [Reply]

    @Amos Snarkadder, CQB (#24): Poor Mr. Death. When he uses his sythe for harvesting souls he will find that Keene’s soul had been sucked out years before.

  28. Rocky Stoneaxe
    March 5th, 2013 at 7:50 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#25): Here’s the Lio/Love Is… mashup Majicou mentioned:

  29. Amos Snarkadder, CQB
    March 5th, 2013 at 7:55 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#25): *snicker* Loved the blue space mutants! After PJ, that’s what we should expect the next Keane Kids might be.
    //And all that wide open space today in FC, we couldn’t resist, could we?
    ////Yep, Lio!
    @Majicou (#26):

  30. Nehemiah Scudder
    March 5th, 2013 at 7:55 pm [Reply]

    @Majicou (#26): @Rocky Stoneaxe (#28): Hah! Didn’t see that one. Lio has its moments… I’ll have to re-add it to my must-look list.

    // Well, it’s no shame to be beaten by a pro!

  31. Amos Snarkadder, CQB
    March 5th, 2013 at 8:06 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#30): @Rocky Stoneaxe (#28): @Majicou (#26): Any idea what the original Love Is… looked like? Or was that all Tatulli’s creation?

  32. Fashion Police
    March 5th, 2013 at 8:33 pm [Reply]

    Miss Sanchez’ outfit is a fairly authentic take on bourgeois fashion circa 1966 or 1967, including the oversized bow in her hair. Miss Sanchez is a known shape-shifter, but we believe this 1969 depiction is as close to her actual form as we are likely to see.

    Although the modern characters are undoubtedly more attractive to contemporary eyes, we always appreciated Mr. LeDoux’ barmy and slightly out-of-this-world fashion sense. In fact, we believe it was he who discovered “Judge Parker” hails from an alternate universe. One can further appreciate his depiction of Miss Spencer’s crowd as hippies by way of Carnaby Street. That guitar-playing fellow is a watered-down version of swinging Sixties London party-boy Lord Patrick Lichfield:

    The look never worked in The Haight.

    (We are sorry, but we can’t seem to make HTML work on our new Mac).

  33. Uncle Lumpy
    March 5th, 2013 at 8:44 pm [Reply]

    @Fashion Police (#32):

    If HTML doesn’t work on your new Mac, then clearly you are not meant to use HTML. Don’t worry, though — after a few weeks on the Mac you won’t be able to remember why you ever wanted to in the first place.

  34. Aunt Lumpy’s Mac
    March 5th, 2013 at 8:52 pm [Reply]

    Seems to be working OK here. What problem are you having?

  35. Rocky Stoneaxe
    March 5th, 2013 at 8:55 pm [Reply]

    @Amos Snarkadder, CQB (#31): As far as I know, today’s Lio is a Tatulli original.

  36. Liam
    March 5th, 2013 at 9:06 pm [Reply]

    MT-Have you thought about using Rusty as bait to catch fish? The kid has always wanted to go fishing and this might be his only chance.

  37. The Right Venerable Pasdordan
    March 5th, 2013 at 9:31 pm [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#14): I suppose someone could try spraying him with holy water from a squirt gun. Radiation blasts and lead pipes don’t seem to have worked, time for something new.

  38. The Right Venerable Pasdordan
    March 5th, 2013 at 9:35 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#33): I can’t for the life of me figure out if you’re insulting or praising Macs there. I’m a deluded fanboy, by the way.

    Also, too, ditto on Daily Ink. It’s like Darkgate, only it works!

  39. Nehemiah Scudder
    March 5th, 2013 at 9:48 pm [Reply]

    @Amos Snarkadder, CQB (#31): I cannot believe that the “leaving him little notes” wasn’t a real “Love is…” some time or other. In fact, that is the actual origin story of the comic, as you probably know. “Kim” used to do these little doodles for her boyfriend, and then, civilization, as we know it, was destroyed due to a massive cultural overdose of cuteness, and its inevitable backlash.

    But Tatulli certainly redrew the original for today. He’s very good!

  40. tallyHO
    March 5th, 2013 at 9:51 pm [Reply]

    @The Right Venerable Pasdordan (#38):

    Nah. Fashion Police seems to be having problems with the HTML yadayada in the post. UncaLumpy was probably being facetious.

    A 404 error is showing up for the image linked to by Fashion Police and Aunt Lumpy’s Mac.

    Foo! Those were weird sentences to write.

    //of course Macs deal with HTML well. Maybe not every browser with every instance of HMTL but that’s negligible. These aren’t the Netscape vs Explorer days. It is more like the Mosaic vs. Navigator days.

  41. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    March 5th, 2013 at 9:56 pm [Reply]

    [OT] not sure if anyone other than cheech wizard will grok this, but Gosh DARN it’s nice to have the Bell Tire Girl back.

  42. The Right Venerable Pasdordan
    March 5th, 2013 at 10:14 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#40): Uh…that’s not an html pro-

    Never mind.

  43. Rocky Stoneaxe
    March 5th, 2013 at 10:25 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#41): Gosh DARN it’s nice to have the Bell Tire Girl back.

    Belle Tire Girl=Leila Sbitani

  44. tallyHO
    March 5th, 2013 at 10:52 pm [Reply]

    @The Right Venerable Pasdordan (#42):

    HTML tags in wordpress, maybe.

    what FP and UL were discussing are probably two different things. Initially…but Aunt Lumpy got involved and…and…oh I give up.

    User problem on one end; facetiousness on the other; you wondering; me possessed by the ghost of Mrs. Chicken…ow!…I mean Mary Worth…I wouldn’t gotten involved if it weren’t for that meddling so and so and that demon dog of her’s: Marmaduke!

  45. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    March 5th, 2013 at 10:54 pm [Reply]

  46. Poteet
    March 5th, 2013 at 11:03 pm [Reply]

    l@Fashion Police (#32): I was tragically unable to access your Lord Patrick link, but I looked up images of him on Google and was impressed by his devil-may-care attire. I would like to think, however, that he would never have consented to don those checked pants.

    I regret to say that I spent part of the Swinging Sixties in a fake-leather long-fringed vest, and I mean the kind of fake leather that looks like cheap felt. I thought I looked pretty groovy at the time.

  47. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    March 5th, 2013 at 11:30 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#46): look at the bright side, Poteet. It could have been body paint and a bikini.

    (with apologies.)

  48. Droopy Says
    March 6th, 2013 at 12:11 am [Reply]

    @The Right Venerable Pasdordan (#38): Macs are great, especially with fries and a Coke.

  49. Johnny Q
    March 6th, 2013 at 12:21 am [Reply]

    I’ve been subscribed to Daily Ink for over six years. My main interest is archive strips like RIP KIRBY and BUZ SAWYER, but I also follow the soap strips to keep up with the Comics Curmudgeon. (Darn you, Josh!)

  50. Droopy Says
    March 6th, 2013 at 12:38 am [Reply]

    Spiderblah: Now Parker can afford a hotel room? Or is he now the Amazing Rentboy?

    Funky Failure: “The only vegetable I want on a pizza is pepperoni.” = “Let me give you a piece of my mind.”

    Spiderbland How does a blind guy obtain a color-co-ordinated costume, keep it in good repair, and still maintain his secret identity?

    Family Circus: “Having Daddy home is like Saturday every day, ‘xcept he watches stuff even dumber than our cartoons.”

    Spiderblech: Wankers always take it out on the computer. Hope you backed up your database, ya idjit, because you may have lost the files that tell you about your foes.

    Mock Travail: Trail, you moron, you should have brought along Andy. Of course if you had your big, fierce, loyal dog watching Rusty you wouldn’t have a story–oh, wait, you still don’t.

    Phantom: Notice that the same two characters appear in both panels, and Kit’s dialog is equally dumb in both.

    Pluggers: I always wondered where Mark Trail gets his vehicles. And in payment, Pluggers get their notion of diversity from Mark Trail.

    Gasoline Alley: Yeah, hurry it up so we can get to the “jokes” about lawyers and taxes.

  51. Droopy Says
    March 6th, 2013 at 12:41 am [Reply]

    @The Right Venerable Pasdordan (#37): Immersing Rusty in clear water could destroy him. I learned that from a Hammer movie. Stopped Dracula cold, it did. Maybe that’s why Trail never takes him fishing.

  52. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    March 6th, 2013 at 12:50 am [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#40): You’re getting a 404 error? Weird. Both links work perfectly for me.

    //And, yes, I’m using a Mac. But that shouldn’t make any difference.

  53. Morgan Wick
    March 6th, 2013 at 1:04 am [Reply]

    It’s not just a meet-cute, it’s a horribly over-engineered meet-cute!

  54. Baka Gaijin
    March 6th, 2013 at 1:20 am [Reply]

    Wednesday’s Mary Worth Musings

    With all the subtlety of assless chaps at a Hassidic seder, the creators of Mary Worth introduce Mary’s next victims, er, meddlees, uh, special guests.

    In a misunderstanding of a common phrase, the storyline on elder abuse has the elder abusing the younger. “You’ll drive me to the Alpha-Beta then to I Magnins or feel the wrath of my cane, Miss Missy!”

    Wait, is that a man or woman in the passenger seat? At first, I thought a woman. On second look, the person has “preacher hair” a la Jimmy Swaggert. Hm.

    I love how the sidewalk just ends a few feet in front of Mary and Blonde Chick. Just ends in the grass, no intersection with another walk or road or even park bench.

  55. Uncle Lumpy
    March 6th, 2013 at 1:28 am [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#54):

    Check here for a closer look. The designers of Charterstone wisely nipped off the exit routes.

  56. Baka Gaijin
    March 6th, 2013 at 1:32 am [Reply]

    Owww! I got storyline whiplash from Dick Tracy. Again.

    You know Arlo, your strategy works only when Janis uses Astroglide as hand moisturizer.

    Jamaal, maybe you wouldn’t be alone if you weren’t such a big dickhead. Seriously dude, hats, look into ‘em.

    Pluggers ensure their barely roadworthy trucks are as unsafe as possible by buying one tire at a time. Ha ha!

  57. Baka Gaijin
    March 6th, 2013 at 1:33 am [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#55): Oh my! [/George Takei]

  58. Fashion Police
    March 6th, 2013 at 2:54 am [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#33):
    What shows up is exactly what we type. For example: bold, or Lord Patrick Lichfield.

    We will not be devastated to find that we can’t make the tags work any more, or worry unduly about what we might have been doing wrong.

  59. Fashion Police
    March 6th, 2013 at 2:55 am [Reply]

    @Fashion Police (#58):
    Well, well, well. Please forgive our complaining.

  60. Fashion Police
    March 6th, 2013 at 3:05 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#46):
    We confess a certain admiration for Lord Lichfield’s audacity – and his success – in playing off the Edwardian fop with a straight face. We have a much harder time commending his good taste.

  61. Fashion Police
    March 6th, 2013 at 3:09 am [Reply]

    @Fashion Police (#60):
    It would have been a good look for Harold LeDoux-era Judge Parker though. We believe young Randy Parker was in college then. He would have been quite fetching in a ruffled collar and teased-up hair.

  62. Curm
    March 6th, 2013 at 5:00 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#20):

    Haha! Nice one.

  63. Liam
    March 6th, 2013 at 6:46 am [Reply]

    MT-Whenever I leave Rusty alone anywhere I usually find him in the car with it running for me and since he doesn’t want to damage the environment he runs a tube from the tail pipe into the car.

    FW-”Now let me give you a long and boring history of the pepperoni’s relationship to pizza. We must go all the way back to the dawn of civilization. It was a warm Mesopotamian night…”

  64. Nehemiah Scudder
    March 6th, 2013 at 7:33 am [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#48): Macs are great, especially with fries and a Coke.

    Yes, but they’re terribly fattening. Esp. between the ears.

  65. Nehemiah Scudder
    March 6th, 2013 at 7:46 am [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#51): Immersing Rusty in clear water could destroy him. I learned that from a Hammer movie. Stopped Dracula cold, it did.

    It has to be running water, I think, like a mountain stream. I remember that movie — was it Dracula 1970? Vampires are also vulnerable to briars (because of Jesus’ crown of thorns, natch.), wooden stakes, garlic, crucifixes, silver bullets (esp. when made from melted down silver crucifixes), of course direct sunlight, and will fail to thrive unless proper soil from their homeland is maintained in their sleeping-coffins. Indeed, vampires are such fragile, delicate creatures, they should probably be given some sort of protected status.

  66. Nehemiah Scudder
    March 6th, 2013 at 8:00 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#46): I regret to say that I spent part of the Swinging Sixties in a fake-leather long-fringed vest…

    You were probably in serious spiritual danger, without realizing it. The follow-up movie to Hammer’s Dracula 1970, was The Satanic Cult of Dracula. In that one, all of Dracula’s lower lever henchmen could be easily identified, as they were all youngish, groovy looking guys with sheepskin trimmed vests. The vests were not identical however. I suspect that the amount and the style of the trim indicated the thug’s rank in the cult, though this was never properly explained in the movie.

  67. Hogenmogen
    March 6th, 2013 at 8:09 am [Reply]

    MW: I have a feeling that I’m going to LOVE angry old lady with a cane.

    Phantom: Yes, great. You’ve succeeded at some anthro-feline bonding. You’re now best buds. Locked in a steel cage with those two idiot mooks close by.

    MT: Catfish is very angry. He now has to figure out several increasingly convoluted reasons not to just drown Rusty in the nearest body of water. “We can’t kill him, he took pictures of… oh, wait, we can just bust the camera. We’ll need him to… uh… smuggle diamonds, I mean catch fish so I can put them on Bassy’s line… except that I’ve been doing that myself… but we’ll need the kid for leverage with the cops… who wouldn’t need to arrest us if we didn’t kidnap the kid in the first place. Yeah, that’s the one. A little bit meta, or maybe a catch-22 or maybe ‘ironic’ if we take the meaning of ‘ironic’ like that Alanis Morissette song. These random justifications are pretty tough. Kid, you’re lucky that I’m such a genius.”

  68. Hogenmogen
    March 6th, 2013 at 8:17 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#65): Dracula 1970 (because including the year in the name of a movie is a sign of pure quality)

    They clearly didn’t understand vampires back then. Vampires are not creepy, eastern European old men who operate alone. They are really attractive teens and 20-somethings who hang out and party together.

  69. Kilby
    March 11th, 2013 at 5:37 am [Reply]

    The advantage to GoComics is that there you can build your own selection of comics for FREE (and GoComics has many more, and much better comics than King Features does).

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