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Haha, everyone over at WoI HQ knows they are unloved

Wizard of Id, 4/20/13

Apologies to any all Garys who currently live in Utah and are I’m sure perfectly nice people, but isn’t it likely that a reference to “Gary in Utah” by the people of a certain age who run the longstanding Wizard of Id comic strip is in fact a reference to the most famous Utah-associated Gary? In other words, the creators of Wizard of Id would like to see fans of any other pop cultural phenomenon that threatens their dominance of the “wizard” brand lined up against a wall and shot! When you look at the strip through this lens, the misspelling of Gandalf’s name isn’t so much a matter of “nobody involved in this process could bother to spend 15 fucking seconds double-checking on the Internet” and more a deliberate snub.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 4/20/13

Oh, thank goodness, we’re back to the really important Rex Morgan plotline: June’s insatiable hunger. When will she finally get to eat waffles? How many will die, for getting in between her and some waffles? How horrible will their deaths be? Next week’s going to be awesome!

223 responses to “Haha, everyone over at WoI HQ knows they are unloved”

  1. The Rocky Project
    April 20th, 2013 at 7:24 am [Reply]

    Nancy — This is beginning to read like an episode of a BAD soap opera.
    (“Retch for Tomorrow” and “As the Stomach Turns” both come to mind!)

    Knight Life — Bill the Cat from Bloom County makes it into a scandal rag.
    Can Opus be far behind?

  2. Rinaldo
    April 20th, 2013 at 7:28 am [Reply]

    Hey, if they couldn’t be bothered to check the spelling of “autograph,” I can believe any amount of negligence….

  3. Old Folkie
    April 20th, 2013 at 7:28 am [Reply]

    MT: Better not leave the ladies alone, Wes – not with those giant carniverous moose in the vicinity…

    9CL: Well, you could just get Edda’s dress drycleaned and return it to her – but that would be a sane act, which doesn’t happen in Brookeville…

  4. Flying Manatee
    April 20th, 2013 at 7:33 am [Reply]

    BC: A joke about a “Bomb Maker”?! Today?!

    WIZARD: The “most famous Utah-associated Gary”? I thought that would be Gary Gilmore. Showing my age I guess. Unfortunately, I now have the 1970s Saturday Night Live song “Let’s Kill Gary Gilmore for Christmas” running through my mind.

  5. Stoney Rockaxe
    April 20th, 2013 at 7:44 am [Reply]

    Speaking of Gandalf, I’m getting a real kick out of the appearance by Sir Ian McKellen’s HAT* in the current Mark Trail storyline:

    http://ia.media-imdb.com/images/M/MV5BMTQ2MjgyNjk3MV5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwNTA3NTY5Mg@@._V1._SY314_CR9,0,214,314_.jpg

    *The hat’s BAND, of course, comes from a different source. (Reportedly from one of the characters in Pearls Before Swine!)

  6. Carl
    April 20th, 2013 at 7:49 am [Reply]

    You mentioned the Gandalf misspelling, but not “autogragh”?

  7. The Rocky Project
    April 20th, 2013 at 8:00 am [Reply]

    Dick Tracy — Never bring a cup of coffee to a knife fight.

    Archie — Another one of Sluggo Smith’s rich cousins makes his (its?) appearance.

  8. CanuckDownSouth
    April 20th, 2013 at 8:00 am [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#Y57): re: FW – that’s actually reasonably realistic. First, some studies have shown that a significant fraction tumors / lumps are found during regular activities, not by special self-exams. As for then checking on it, self-exam pamphlets are widely around even now. Years ago it seemed you couldn’t go to for any kind of health checkup as a woman without getting some tossed at you (I think a plastic “keep in the shower” one even arrived in the mail). Really easy to have one lying around.

    Now to go back to ignoring FW…

  9. gleeb
    April 20th, 2013 at 8:07 am [Reply]

    3-G: Her husband was killed in Iraq, even though all the fighting at that time was in Vietnam.

    ‘shaft: Jesus wept. They really do have a need to belittle and insult this woman, don’t they? What the hell is wrong with Batiuk?

    ‘bean: Again, what the hell is wrong with Batiuk? Is this the third or fourth time he’s going to kill Lisa? Dude’s got issues with women.

    Phantom: “Why am I driving a golf cart? Is this a country club?”

    Dick: Go, Mrs F! Kill the muttering, incomprehensible bastard!

    Thorp: OK, so Knox Harrington has had his ineffectual comeuppance and we can go back to the likeable characters, right?

  10. Nehemiah Scudder
    April 20th, 2013 at 8:07 am [Reply]

    @Rinaldo (#2): @Carl (#6): Is that one of those comics, where, for a fee, you can get an archival print, framed, and autograghed by the author?

  11. Crankenstank
    April 20th, 2013 at 8:09 am [Reply]

    I see nothing has changed with June, except she’s managed to find a 172-year OB/GYN who still uses the phrase “with child”. Is this all to set up a whacky spin-off strip: “June and Dr. Victoria” – what happens when the former wife of a respected judge, turned professional eating champion, sets up a domestic partnership with a Time Lord to raise a pair of whacky kids? Hilarity ensues!

  12. John C Fremont
    April 20th, 2013 at 8:11 am [Reply]

    “I’m Gary. Fry me.”

  13. SideshowJon
    April 20th, 2013 at 8:16 am [Reply]

    @Carl (#6): One could spend a lifetime cataloging all the way Wizard of Id is awful… sometimes you just gotta pick one and go with it

  14. Nehemiah Scudder
    April 20th, 2013 at 8:18 am [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#Y77): Excellent points. I did have the impression, though, that the veterans in q. were dead veterans, like her own Sgt. Col. Tom Whatshisname, late of the US Army Air Force CIA Navy, and Coast Guard Reserve.

    Orphans of dead veterans clearly have a special need for art classes, far beyond that of ordinary orphans, or ordinary children of live veterans. Especially in Manhattan.

  15. Nehemiah Scudder
    April 20th, 2013 at 8:20 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#14): Oh. Gary Powers. How the hell did I forget that?

  16. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    April 20th, 2013 at 8:23 am [Reply]

    A&J: ooo, Janis, you’re such a dirty girl.

    AD: umm, editor fail. ye godz, how could they let that one see the papers?

    SBp: HA-HA!

    Zits: panel 4, Jeremy gets WHAP-ed upside the head with his other shoe.

    Bizarro: /facepalm.

    GT: the Milford team has seen Big Bob’s stuff, usually in the shower.

  17. Liam
    April 20th, 2013 at 8:23 am [Reply]

    A3G-Her husband was killed in Iraq wherever that country is because we are stuck in the Sixties and Iraq isn’t in the news that much.

    Crankshaft-If her cookies are so terrible then what is she using to make them.

    MT-We’ll just stay here and have sex with each other.

    MW-Suddenly I had the urge to go after I found my apartment door broken down and my cabinets and kitchen completely cleaned out.

    RMMD-”I’m hungry all the time.” That is understandable when spend weeks doing one thing and never eat during that time.

  18. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    April 20th, 2013 at 8:24 am [Reply]

    Love Is. . . .2?!?!? toddlercon, ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

  19. Cloudbuster
    April 20th, 2013 at 8:33 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#14): That’s the impression a normal brain naturally drifts toward, because it’s the only way it makes sense, but as far as I can remember, “veterans’” was never, ever, not even once, qualified with “dead” in relation to LuAnn’s art classes.

    And art classes are clinically proven to heal the psyches of children of dead veterans. I imagine LuAnn is especially sensitive:

    “OK, kids, today I want you to all make paintings for me showing how you felt when you first heard Daddy was dead! I have extra red paint if you need it!”

  20. HAnzMFG
    April 20th, 2013 at 8:36 am [Reply]

    His fan club could charge for bogus signatures : “Wizord of Id offcial GANDOLF. Signature , on official Wizard parchment. Fivehundred Schillings plus owl shipping fares.”

  21. Bill Peschel
    April 20th, 2013 at 8:39 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#10): Why, yes, Nehemiah, you can get a print of this B.C. strip autograghed for $30.

    (But, really, having just sent a revised version of my next book back to CreateSpace because I’m just that picky about a bad word break on the back cover copy, this really burns my shorts. I’d love to have a steady job where I don’t have to care about the quality of my work!)

    I guess inside every author is a Wally trying to climb out.

  22. cheech wizard
    April 20th, 2013 at 8:40 am [Reply]

    WID – But the fact that they wouldn’t be lined up against a wall, but sat in a chair, or perhaps even reclining on a couch, seems more appropriate for Spider-Man.

  23. Illustrator Steve
    April 20th, 2013 at 8:43 am [Reply]

    MT – “We’ll be fine, Wes! You and Mark go ahead! Besides, Shelley will need to help me milk these two favorite female pet moose of mine that just arrived!”

  24. revenge4Aldo
    April 20th, 2013 at 8:43 am [Reply]

    JP: Is June going to eat her doctor then lay her eggs in the corpse? Cause that’s what it looks like here. Asking for a friend.

  25. Gringo
    April 20th, 2013 at 8:43 am [Reply]

    FW: Lisa opens the draw and takes out a pamphlet on breast self-exams.

    Les drops his drawers and takes out his flaccid for a Les self-onan.

    Fap fap fap fap …

  26. bats :[
    April 20th, 2013 at 8:48 am [Reply]

    Oh my God! Could Lisa possibly have CANCER?!?

  27. ralph
    April 20th, 2013 at 8:49 am [Reply]

    9CL: Brings back memories. I know the first thing our vet always did upon arriving was to strike a pose and ask “How do I look?” Is there some sort of national organization of veterinarians that could file a lawsuit against Brooke for defamation? A cartoonist with a sense of humor (?) would some time in the next couple weeks have them finally approach the cow, only to discover that it was now dead.
    To continue from yesterday about characters, JP to envy, MW to feel superior to, and 9CL to despise. The comics are definitely my favorite part of the paper.

  28. Illustrator Steve
    April 20th, 2013 at 8:51 am [Reply]

    MT – ??? WHAT has happened to this strip? …normal sized animals in the foreground drawn in proper perspective proportion to the nearby campsite? People drawn with a more human appearance than like old stiff as a board cardboard cut outs? THIS CAN’T BE MARK TRAIL!!!!

  29. jimbo
    April 20th, 2013 at 8:51 am [Reply]

    “I’m hungry…all the time,” says June, “hyperemesis gravidarum is for sissies, like the Dutchess of Cambridge and Nina in Apartment 3G!”

  30. Bill Murray
    April 20th, 2013 at 8:52 am [Reply]

    @Flying Manatee (#4): I too went to Gary Gilmore and music, but to Gary Gilmore’s Eyes by the Adverts. A nice slice of ’70s punk about the person who received Gilmore’s donated corneas

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CrwI1gKE4jI

  31. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    April 20th, 2013 at 8:53 am [Reply]

  32. Zerowolf
    April 20th, 2013 at 9:01 am [Reply]

    FW: Rocks cause breast cancer? Oh, yeah, this is the Funky-verse where the world is made of asbestos.

  33. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    April 20th, 2013 at 9:01 am [Reply]

    oh, and before I “forget”, Happy 4-20, Everyone!

  34. Zerowolf
    April 20th, 2013 at 9:03 am [Reply]

    MT: In the uncensored version the line was: “To look at you two fuck sheep? No thanks.”

  35. jim, some guy in iowa
    April 20th, 2013 at 9:05 am [Reply]

    @ralph (#27): after reading several weeks of dr sexy, the doofus vet tech and farmer magnum & the smuckler bros, and the cows they love, i’m pretty sure brooke has never heard of such a thing as a rendering truck driver.

  36. Zerowolf
    April 20th, 2013 at 9:05 am [Reply]

    FC: Neither, your a melonhead.

  37. Morgan Wick
    April 20th, 2013 at 9:06 am [Reply]

    Yeah, I’m pretty sure the misspellings are semi-intentional to indicate how idiotic and illiterate “Gary” is. I’m more interested in how on Earth the Wizard was able to pronounce “autogragh”.

  38. cheech wizard
    April 20th, 2013 at 9:11 am [Reply]

    JP- Something’s fishy about this new couple – what do you bet Thalia turns out to be a former sociology student?

  39. Zerowolf
    April 20th, 2013 at 9:13 am [Reply]

    Love is… I though the balloons meant 2-5 years for public nudity.

  40. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    April 20th, 2013 at 9:16 am [Reply]

    @Zerowolf (#39): 30 days.

    that’s what they give you, man.

  41. Ratiocinator
    April 20th, 2013 at 9:18 am [Reply]

    RMMD: “I hunger…for WAFFLES!!!”

    9CL: Go right ahead guys, take the time to dig a hole. It’s not like there’s any rush. It’s not like the cow might die in the meantime or anything, you self-absorbed fucks.

    FW: There’s some serious flashback/words-on-the-page discrepancy happening here.

    Slylock: That poor bird.

  42. Nehemiah Scudder
    April 20th, 2013 at 9:19 am [Reply]

    @Bill Peschel (#21): You know, that would almost be worth it. Like having a misprinted stamp, or flawed coin.

  43. Nehemiah Scudder
    April 20th, 2013 at 9:21 am [Reply]

    H&J (yesterday): I tried the missing one answer on purpose thing, but I missed a whole bunch of others by accident. // The Great Spirit is very stupid, isn’t He?

    Ballard: Squeaky is a very lucky rat.

    GA: Is Gasoline Alley using scripts from old Mutt & Jeffs?

    H&J (today): I think he must be working his way through Leviticus. Shellfish? You gotta be kidding me!

    M&J: Speaking of which, dash it!

    OtH: It takes a minimum of two moves, by each side, to get to checkmate.

  44. Zerowolf
    April 20th, 2013 at 9:22 am [Reply]

    In keeping with the WoI, I have included a grammatical, spelling, or punctuation error in each post. Have fun, Rana.

  45. ralph
    April 20th, 2013 at 9:26 am [Reply]

    FW: And FW for when you’re really down, and seek confirmation that the world just frickin’ sucks, man. Yes, we are aware that cancer is a bad thing. Yes, we all know someone who had/has it. And, no, we don’t have the remotest goddamn interest in reading about it in the comics–over and over and over. Just an idea, Les: Accept the fat check as a buyout for your entire interest in the TV project, and consign your dead wife to the photo albums. And destroy those idiotic videos.
    You get the feeling that for Tom being alive is misery but he has some sort of religious objection to just killing himself, so while he’s forced to wait for death he’s determined to make as many other people miserable as possible. He draws Crankshaft on his “good” days. I am so glad that FW doesn’t appear in my local paper.

  46. Ratiocinator
    April 20th, 2013 at 9:28 am [Reply]

    @CanuckDownSouth (#8): In that case, everybody ignore the FW snark in my last comment (I tend to write them out and post them, and then read the rest of the comments, which I guess is a bad habit); for some reason, I thought that the flashback was taking place when the two of them were still kids, and I was thinking “Well, there’s no way she had cancer in high school

    @revenge4Aldo (#24): Yes, that is what will happen.

  47. The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan
    April 20th, 2013 at 9:28 am [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#65): Pretty! You were supposed to say write how pretty it was, goddammit!

  48. boojum
    April 20th, 2013 at 9:29 am [Reply]

    RMMD: Uh-oh, folks. Looks like we’re in for yet another gritty, reality-based storyline — one where June’s cravings cause her to gain 80 pounds of baby weight. Fortunately, two-thirds of it will be in her Impossibly Perky Breasts. So everyone’s a winner.

  49. Shrug Saw Your Website and...
    April 20th, 2013 at 9:31 am [Reply]

    @HAnzMFG (#20):

    That’s “Gandolf of Nigeria.” He has a busyness propisizion for you involving transsferring gold out of Morder to a bank in The Shure. You get ten precent.

  50. The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan
    April 20th, 2013 at 9:34 am [Reply]

    @Downpuppy, Morning After (y#84): Oh, hey: I was just quoting Pres. Bush’s famous flub, “Rarely is the question asked: is our children learning?” You can find it, and many other fun quotes, in this famous comic/poem from Richard Thompson.

  51. Shrug: And the Cow Got Up and Slowly Walked Away...
    April 20th, 2013 at 9:36 am [Reply]

    @ralph (#27):

    ” A cartoonist with a sense of humor (?) would some time in the next couple weeks have them finally approach the cow, only to discover that it was now dead.”

    Or:

    Two weeks from now the cow stands up and stalks off, complaining bitterly about how her agent got her this lousy job by telling her she could have an easy gig in a well-drawn comic strip and all she had to do was lie there, but didn’t tell her she’d have to listen to this TheStupidItBurns dialog from those asshats “starring” in the strip. She now realizes her comic strip cow career is in shambles and she may never get a serious bovine job again, so she’s hoping to retrain as a cat. There’s always jobs for a comic strip cat.

  52. TheDiva
    April 20th, 2013 at 9:47 am [Reply]

    WoI: The Wizard is also tired of fielding questions about Dambledore, Merkin, and Wail.

  53. Downpuppy, Morning After
    April 20th, 2013 at 9:51 am [Reply]

    @The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan (#50): I am aware of all intermittent traditions regarding Shrub, but again today, there is a slight sign that even ParkerHart LLC is reacting to their readers.

    Not to mention, so I won’t.

  54. Nehemiah Scudder
    April 20th, 2013 at 9:58 am [Reply]

    @The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan (#50): I think we all agree the past is over.

    // Except for that crazy drunk, Bill Faulkner, who doesn’t even think it is past.

    // Never mind. I can’t hang out here all day. I have to put food on my family.

  55. TheDiva
    April 20th, 2013 at 9:59 am [Reply]

    9CL: Because…it’s easier than paying for the dry cleaning? I guess?

    A3G: This isn’t the governor, it’s the host of the new hit reality show Come Get Your Money!

    C’shaft: Sorry, what were you saying? I kind of got distracted by the thought of the sun in your universe going supernova and destroying everything…

    FW: Really gripping stuff you’ve got there, Les. Truly, Tarantino weeps with envy.

    Lio: D’awwwwwww.

    Luann: If you don’t feel like a mature, responsible adult before you get engaged, I question the wisdom of your getting engaged at all.

    Marvin: AAAAAAAAAAAAGHKILLITWITHFIRE and oh yeah, take out that creepy blonde girl too.

    MW: Do we need any more proof that Mary is a cruel god bending the lesser creatures to her will?

  56. Bored of the Rings
    April 20th, 2013 at 10:05 am [Reply]

    WoI – We called him ‘Goodgulf’.

  57. Will
    April 20th, 2013 at 10:10 am [Reply]

    CS: On the bright side, the sun doesn’t have anything like enough mass to go supernova.

  58. Nehemiah Scudder
    April 20th, 2013 at 10:13 am [Reply]

    WoI: A commenter at GoComics suggests that the misspellings “Gandolf” and “autogragh” are direct quotations from the letter the Wizard is reading.

    // Ok. Benefit of the doubt. It’s part of the joke. A “sic” joke.

    // Thinking the alternative is worse.

  59. Harold
    April 20th, 2013 at 10:26 am [Reply]

    I’m no Tyler Perry fan, but looking at his numbers on Box Office Mojo, I have to say that whoever wrote the joke for today’s B.C. doesn’t know what the hell they’re talking about. There’s a difference between a dumb movie and a “bomb.”

  60. I speak Jive
    April 20th, 2013 at 10:28 am [Reply]

    BC – In the local daily paper, the space where this comic would be is blank except for the statement, “The B.C. comic, drawn in advance, contained subject matter about bomb making that, in light of recent events, will not be published.”

    Mark Trail – “To look at sheep? No thanks!” I am really starting to love Shelley. Although looking at wildlife should be a lot more interesting to a non-outdoors person than fly fishing would be.

  61. Cloudbuster
    April 20th, 2013 at 10:29 am [Reply]

    @boojum (#48): “Impossibly Perky Breasts.”

    Stop saying stuff like that. If you were to manage to convince me that June’s breasts are impossible, it would be like convincing Virginia that, no, there is no Santa Claus!

  62. The Rocky Project
    April 20th, 2013 at 10:30 am [Reply]

    @Zerowolf (#32): Okay, I admit it — I gave Lisa breast cancer!

  63. Nehemiah Scudder
    April 20th, 2013 at 10:30 am [Reply]

    @Bill Peschel (#21): Really like your blog, btw.

  64. Cloudbuster
    April 20th, 2013 at 10:33 am [Reply]

    MT: I can’t fault Mark; if I had a friend with a float plane, I’d keep coming up with lame excuses to get him to take my flying, too. “I need to see if any of my roof shingles are loose.” “I need to look for my cattle.” Yeah, sure, pictures of sheep works! You don’t mind if I make X-Wing blaster noises when we buzz the Death Star, erm, I mean my house, do you? :)

    Also, I’m sure Cherry and Shelley will be fine by themselves. Please, Mark, remember to set up the motion-sensitive wildlife camera before you leave!

  65. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    April 20th, 2013 at 10:34 am [Reply]

    @I speak Jive (#60): nice to know that somebody was awake at the switch, unlike Yahoo Comics.

  66. Nehemiah Scudder
    April 20th, 2013 at 10:35 am [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#61): I’m hoping she will develop large, yet firm, jauntily bouncing buttocks.

  67. Cloudbuster
    April 20th, 2013 at 10:40 am [Reply]

    ASM: I keep wanting to complain about how ludicrously, needlessly complicated Kingpin’s plan is … but that’s really the entire genre, isn’t it? If I railed against all supervillains who resorted to Rube Goldbergian plots that are almost guaranteed not to succeed, I’d pretty much be railing against the whole genre, right? The only thing worse would be to start railing against the secret identity trope.

  68. Francis Hobbs
    April 20th, 2013 at 10:41 am [Reply]

    Today’s Funky Winkerbean proves two things about Lisa:

    1) She was a native of the planet Krypton.

    2) She died of Kryptonite poisoning — not cancer!

  69. Cloudbuster
    April 20th, 2013 at 10:43 am [Reply]

    @Francis Hobbs (#68): I blame Les Luthor!

  70. damanoid
    April 20th, 2013 at 10:43 am [Reply]

    “Sigh… that’s the 20th one today. I wish the other wizards would stop trying to trick me into reciting the Spell of Eternal Banishment. Anyway, it would only exile me to the Hell-Plains if I said the words ‘Gandolf Autogragh’ together– wait, did I just– NOOOOOOO!” (SOUND OF SPACE OPENING UP ON COMICS PAGE)

  71. Ratiocinator
    April 20th, 2013 at 10:45 am [Reply]

    I’ve been so busy criticizing the day-to-day happening in 9 Chickweed Lane that I didn’t think to ask this until recently: is the overall story going anywhere? Anywhere at all?

    Let’s recap:

    -We started with Fleurrie telling Juliette that she stole a cow and her calf, and why she did it;
    -Sven returns them;
    -Sven is told why he shouldn’t have done that and steals Twinkly and Rocky back;
    -Fleurrie and Sven decide to go out;
    -Edda picks out a dress for Fleurrie;
    -Sven gets tongue-tied and makes an ass of himself;
    -Fleurrie gets a call that another cow needs emergency care;
    -They drive to a farm;
    -Fleurrie looks at the guy’s cow after Sven inexplicably takes off without telling her, to pick up a more practical outfit for her;
    -Sven comes back to reenact Tianenmen Square, except for the dying part (unfortunately);
    -They kiss while the cow continues to go untreated.

    Let’s compare this to, say, Rex Morgan. I’m not gonna say that Woody Wilson is a masterful storyteller or anything, but in the story before this one, it went like this:

    -Rex and June go to San Diego to look at somebody’s property for reasons I don’t remember very well;
    -They find a bunch of sexy girls living there;
    -It turns out the girls are strippers, and that one of them, Delores, has breast cancer;
    -Somebody comes up with an idea to throw a party to raise money for Delores’ treatment;
    -The Morgans attend the party;
    -There’s a brief scuffle that happens because one of the girls, Honey, wants Rex and doesn’t like another girl talking to him;
    -Delores has a gun, and June finds out she’s suicidal;
    -June takes away the gun;
    -Delores goes missing, and everybody’s worried she went somewhere with her other gun;
    -Everybody looks for her, Rex finds her an discovers she’s okay, and spends some time talking with her;
    -Delores feels better, tells Rex that she’s accurately predicted lots of pregnancies and that she can tell June is pregnant with a boy;
    -They go back to the house, where Honey tries to seduce Rex, with hilarious results;
    -June talks to Honey and gets her to reveal that she wants Rex because he’s somebody who would probably want more from her than just sex;
    -Honey feels better;
    -Somebody thinks that the girls can go into the catering business and be successful because of this one party, which is a stretch, but let’s forget that for the moment;
    -Everybody says goodbye and goes their separate ways, and then the “June’s pregnant and Milton’s risking his life by not taking care of himself and worrying more about money than about his family” begins.

    At least that had a beginning, a middle, and an end, and it didn’t abruptly switch to a completely different story before everything was resolved.

  72. Cloudbuster
    April 20th, 2013 at 10:48 am [Reply]

    @Ratiocinator (#71): Explain the part again where Rex has a stroke while imagining Fleurrie undressing?

  73. Greg
    April 20th, 2013 at 10:55 am [Reply]

    WofI: That’s the most magical thing I’ve ever seen the wizard perform–the no-looky, perfect rainbow-arc balled-up paper toss whish!

  74. Ratiocinator
    April 20th, 2013 at 10:56 am [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#72): Is that what’s happening to him in panel one of this strip?

  75. Mumbly Joe
    April 20th, 2013 at 10:56 am [Reply]

    When you look at the strip through this lens, the misspelling of Gandalf’s name isn’t so much a matter of “nobody involved in this process could bother to spend 15 fucking seconds double-checking on the Internet” and more a deliberate snub.

    It’s also possible that in the WoI universe, the seminal fantasy work that all other genre fiction is forever trying to emulate is not Lord of the Rings, but rather, William Morris’s 1896 novel, The Well at the World’s End . Who knows what other wacky things are different in this timeline?

  76. The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan
    April 20th, 2013 at 11:00 am [Reply]

    Uh, Ms. Powers? I’m not sure the Governor’s talking about money there

  77. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    April 20th, 2013 at 11:03 am [Reply]

    just in case anybody isn’t happy enough, take this.

  78. I speak Jive
    April 20th, 2013 at 11:04 am [Reply]

    @Ratiocinator (#71): Step four should be: Edda abandons a friend in the middle of a wedding to race to her mother’s house because she was promised cookies.

    This was an action that pretty much defines these despicable people.

  79. Horace Broon
    April 20th, 2013 at 11:09 am [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#Y57): @CanuckDownSouth (#8):
    Actually, I think the gag, such as it is, is meant to be that she didn’t have a breast exam leaflet lying around; this is Les rewriting the past to make St Lisa a model example of Correct Things To Do If You Suspect You May Have Breast Cancer. ICBW.

  80. But What Do I Know?
    April 20th, 2013 at 11:10 am [Reply]

    ASM — Or just eliminate both of them. No charge, Kingpin, but someday maybe you can do me a favor. . .

    The Ghost Who Intimidates — With all of those clean, clean. clean white T-shirts, it looks more like an industrial laundry than a country club.

    RMMD — In panel 3, June is about to shed her human outer shell and molt–she’ll need food to do that!

    Cranky — Half-life refers to radioactive decay and has nothing to do with structural integrity. If you don’t like the cookies, don’t eat them!

    A3G — If only this were some kind of Hunger Games crossover, it might be fun.

  81. Naked Bunny with a Whip
    April 20th, 2013 at 11:12 am [Reply]

    If Batiuk is going to retell Lisa’s Story every few years, I hope he take a page from the comic books he’s a fan of and changes a bunch of the details every time.

  82. the REAL Mark Trail
    April 20th, 2013 at 11:19 am [Reply]

  83. jim, some guy in iowa
    April 20th, 2013 at 11:24 am [Reply]

    @Naked Bunny with a Whip (#81): maybe he could give les a bad case of psoriasis instead. the television used to tell me there was heartbreak involved in *that*

  84. Cloudbuster
    April 20th, 2013 at 11:33 am [Reply]

    @Naked Bunny with a Whip (#81): In the next retelling, Lisa fakes her death and turns into a superhero with the proportional strength of a tumor!

  85. The Ridger
    April 20th, 2013 at 11:36 am [Reply]

    Geeze. Not is Fleurrie not going to get Edda’s obviously expensive dress dry-cleaned and returned to her (and I don’t care what she fell into; that dress looked just fine the last time we saw it). She is delaying caring for her patient so that she and Sven can bury it. The dress, that is; the cow isn’t dead. Yet. As far as Fleurrie knows, anyway.

  86. The Grandstander
    April 20th, 2013 at 11:36 am [Reply]

    MARY WORTH: So, Tom Harpman suddenly “had an urge to go”. Should bowel movement issues be covered in Rex Morgan?

  87. Horace Broon
    April 20th, 2013 at 11:37 am [Reply]

    A3G: “Here are two facts about our winner: She’s currently single, and … um … I forget the other one. Anyway, I’m giving LuAnn Powers money for the art thing or whatever, so hopefully that means I get to have sex with her!”

    Curtis: Waaait a minute…

    DT: I suppose when barely anyone understands a word you say anyway, tact ceases to be much of a concern.

    MW: Remember, if you’re thinking about dating someone and you don’t feel an inexplicable urge to go grocery shopping at the same time, the relationship is probably doomed.

  88. Jim in Wisc.
    April 20th, 2013 at 11:38 am [Reply]

    @Carl (#6): Two typos in the same frame. That’s just sad.

  89. erdmann
    April 20th, 2013 at 11:38 am [Reply]

    Seems like a good day to share something I found recently:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZDeAuq44XKQ

    Guess not even Jim Henson could salvage WoI.

  90. Dartpaw86
    April 20th, 2013 at 11:44 am [Reply]

    Or copy-right infringement. Since a week or two ago. The comic used the word “Hobbit” which is copyrighted by Tolkien’s Estate. Likely the writer was given a warning and was pissed. So it’s half snub/half copyright issues.

  91. Doctor Handsome
    April 20th, 2013 at 11:45 am [Reply]

    June told her hairdresser, “Give me the Conan O’Brien.”

  92. Dartpaw86
    April 20th, 2013 at 11:50 am [Reply]

    Apparently the artist for Wizard of Id DID NOT PASS in spelling.

  93. Chip Whittle
    April 20th, 2013 at 11:52 am [Reply]

    Herb and Jamaal: So, which commandment exactly is it that Plastic Baby-Head From Outer Space guy figures he has no intention of following? Are we looking at some red-hot donkey-coveting in his near future?

  94. Jessy
    April 20th, 2013 at 11:53 am [Reply]

    RMMD: Would a doctor really use the term “with child”?

  95. Jim in Wisc.
    April 20th, 2013 at 11:59 am [Reply]

    Flunky Cancerstroke: The writing in panel #3 just screams Lifetime Channel.

    Mark Trail Mix: I found this photo of Mark and Cherry on their camping trip with Wes and Shelley.

    Crankenschäft: And thus ends another week of “Lena’s cooking is so bad …” jokes.

    H & L: Hi is just faking it to get out of doing yard work. He’s learned well from his lazy, drunken neighbor.

  96. Amino Man
    April 20th, 2013 at 12:05 pm [Reply]

    YAY! SeattlePI Comics Kingdom comments are working again!

  97. Amino Man
    April 20th, 2013 at 12:14 pm [Reply]

    Not that the comments here aren’t funny, but it is nice to have them immediately under the strip.

  98. Illustrator Steve
    April 20th, 2013 at 12:26 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#31): The “big kittys playing with boxes” video you posted made our day today. We needed that!

  99. Droopy Says
    April 20th, 2013 at 12:28 pm [Reply]

    It must annoy the perpetrators of WoI no end to realize that people come back from the dead to mock them. When I write my will, I may subsidize a foundation to send them a daily letter in my name.

  100. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    April 20th, 2013 at 12:30 pm [Reply]

    @Illustrator Steve (#98): pleased to have been of service! :-D

  101. yaoi huntress earth
    April 20th, 2013 at 12:41 pm [Reply]

    Curtis: With the way that big sourpuss acts, he’d fit in perfectly in Funky Winkerbean.

  102. Baka Gaijin
    April 20th, 2013 at 12:48 pm [Reply]

    @The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan (#47): It was pre…was pre…pre…pr…NO, I CAN’T SAY IT!

    @TheDiva (#55): Now you know how I feel about EVILSCARYCLOWNS.

    @I speak Jive (#60): As a non-outdoorsperson, no. I can see animals on the computer and if I really need to experience the stink of animals and their poop, the zoo has cell signal and often a cafe.

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#77): Cutie-patootie!

    @Jessy (#94): It’s better than the OB saying, “The ultrasound says you had coitus 6 weeks ago.”

  103. Alice
    April 20th, 2013 at 12:53 pm [Reply]

    RMMD: “I’m hungry… all the time!”, says June as she leans forward seductively. What, you thought she was talking about food? She’s got a bad case of gerontophilia. “Ooh, doctor. When you talk like someone trying to appease network censors of I Love Lucy, it turns me on.”

  104. The Rocky Project
    April 20th, 2013 at 12:55 pm [Reply]

    Sick Sick Sick Chix — Symbiosis is also letting your cat use your legs as a scratching post:

    http://www.jsonline.com/comics/32402404.html?feature_id=6Chix&feature_date=2013-04-20

  105. Liam
    April 20th, 2013 at 12:59 pm [Reply]

    RMMD-That is understandable that you’re hungry, June. You spent how many weeks talking about eating waffles but you never ate the waffles.

  106. bats :[
    April 20th, 2013 at 1:07 pm [Reply]

  107. Droopy Says
    April 20th, 2013 at 1:19 pm [Reply]

    @The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan (#y15): It has the prettiness of anticipation. I’m sure the scene will look much prettier after that Tornado drops some of its ordnance on the happy couple. Or will its pilot settle for a strafing run, and save the big stuff for Festung Charterstone?

  108. Downpuppy, Morning After
    April 20th, 2013 at 1:23 pm [Reply]

    @Jessy (#94): Only when it’s Quicksilver moonlighting as a Lady Doc.

  109. Frank Lee Meidere
    April 20th, 2013 at 1:27 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#Y75):

    If the “deep structure” is to be construed as: “If this task is not to be done by you, it should be done by him,” then it would call for the objective, hence, whom.

    That makes sense too.

    You could go either way, I suppose. But my joke, such as it was, depended on the zeugma, or, rather, syllepsis, metaphorically speaking, between his drawing and his grammar.

    I’d read a book on the grammar of drawing.

    “Sir, I do not know whether you will die on the gallows or of the pox,” [John] Wilkes is reported to have replied, “That depends, my lord, on whether I embrace your lordship’s principles or your mistress.”

    Why, oh why don’t we have political figures who can deliver a good line any more? Churchill’s “If I were your husband I’d drink it” is the last really good riposte that comes to mind. If we’re really generous we might include Trudeau’s “Just watch me.” But not really.

  110. Les Moore
    April 20th, 2013 at 1:31 pm [Reply]

    The Day I Hit the Lotto

    Chapter 1

    Lisa opens the drawer and takes out a pamphlet on breast self exams…

  111. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    April 20th, 2013 at 1:39 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#109): does Jon Stewart or Stephan Colbert count?

  112. Frank Lee Meidere
    April 20th, 2013 at 1:47 pm [Reply]

  113. Artist formerly known as Ben
    April 20th, 2013 at 1:50 pm [Reply]

    RMMD: “I’m hungry, all the time… for the sturdy experienced hands of a silver fox like yourself.”

    MW: Tom’s very open about his incontinence problem, isn’t he? Well, I guess it’s best to get the baggage out of the way early.

    FW: So yeah, basically Les is transcribing his book while changing the tense from past to presence so everything reads like stage directions. That’s earning your money.

    Crock: Since when is the desert—a terrain specifically defined by lack of rainfall—“steaming”?

    9CL: Fleurrie and Sven’s disregarding of Edda’s lad-mag dating advice might get me onboard with the characters, if that weren’t a lost cause.

    BC: So far Tyler Perry’s movies have hardly been bombs. That may change with the word of mouth about “Temptation”, but it’s hard to credit BC with being ahead of the curve.

    DT: “Now that I’ve got your attention, seriously, what was that? And aren’t you taking your gimmick a little too far?”

    GT: Bottom of the first and Bobby Ottewill is ejected from the game for indecent exposure.

    Shoe: Ah yes, what could be more cheering than a peek inside Treetops’ death row?

    FC: Billy, change hair colors with Jeffy and you’re Bob’s Big Boy.

    S-M: “So through extensive neurochemical research I’ve saved myself the cost of one bullet. I really am a genius.”

    A3G: The governor’s cue cards actually read “Her husband was killed in RECENT FOREIGN CONFLICT.”

  114. Artist formerly known as Ben
    April 20th, 2013 at 1:54 pm [Reply]

    @yaoi huntress earth (#101): Greg Wilkins would be well advised to stay away from Funky. Smoking causes scores of deadly illnesses in real life. Can you imagine what it does in Westview?

  115. Artist formerly known as Ben
    April 20th, 2013 at 1:56 pm [Reply]

    @Dartpaw86 (#92): Very well done.

  116. Artist formerly known as Ben
    April 20th, 2013 at 2:01 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#58):

    A commenter at GoComics suggests that the misspellings “Gandolf” and “autogragh” are direct quotations from the letter the Wizard is reading.

    That explanation would be easier to credit if the words were shown in a handwritten or typescript excerpt from the letter, rather than a word balloon from the Wizard’s mouth. Even if true, it’s still a matter of no one caring enough to get it right.

  117. Liam
    April 20th, 2013 at 2:21 pm [Reply]

    FC-Daddy, am I a top or a bottom?

    FC 2-Daddy, am I a pitcher or a catcher?

    FC 3-Daddy, am I a butch or a fem?

  118. Poteet
    April 20th, 2013 at 2:24 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#31): Thanks — that’s much more green than I’m seeing in the landscape here yet.

  119. Poteet
    April 20th, 2013 at 2:26 pm [Reply]

    @Amino Man (#96): Oh good. So it wasn’t personal persecution.

  120. Liam
    April 20th, 2013 at 2:29 pm [Reply]

    RMMD-You know who else is starving all the time people suffering from famines.

    MW-I suddenly had the urge to go because I didn’t have any food and I was tired of being hungry all the time.

    MW 2-I guess that’s what happens when I smoke a pound of weed.

  121. Poteet
    April 20th, 2013 at 2:43 pm [Reply]

    @boojum (#48): Yep, I’m certain June will gain baby weight. During her last week of pregnancy. About fifteen pounds, tops. All in her baby bump. And the extra pounds will completely disappear within three days of the baby or babies popping out, even if she has twins. That’s Reproduction, RMMD Style.

  122. Ukulele Ike
    April 20th, 2013 at 2:45 pm [Reply]

    DT: If you threw a knife into a glass of beer from which a man is drinking in order to shatter said glass, would the knife continue on, you know, through his head?

    Nancy: Sluggo’s entire family shares his piggy features.

  123. Poteet
    April 20th, 2013 at 2:47 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#121): Meanwhile, I wish she would lose that forelock. I keep wanting to snip it off.

  124. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    April 20th, 2013 at 2:50 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#123): maybe Ms. Flattop could be of service?

  125. MissScarlet
    April 20th, 2013 at 2:54 pm [Reply]

    RMMD I would like to know what sort of computer the doctor is looking at that tells her June is “with child”. If memory serves, the news is delivered while you are lying flat on your back and someone is poking around your cervix.

  126. Nehemiah Scudder
    April 20th, 2013 at 3:12 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#109): Another of my favorite Wilke-isms is when he was canvassing for votes. “I’d rather vote for the Devil,” one person told him. “Of course,” he replied, “But if your friend decides not to stand…?”

  127. Majicou
    April 20th, 2013 at 3:32 pm [Reply]

    Wizard of Id is also the comic that thinks the protagonist of The Hobbit is named “Hobbit.”

  128. The Rocky Project
    April 20th, 2013 at 3:33 pm [Reply]

    @Ukulele Ike (#122): Sluggo’s entire family shares his piggy features.

    To quote Darth Nancy: “The porcine is strong with this one.”

  129. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    April 20th, 2013 at 3:34 pm [Reply]

    @Zerowolf (#44): Hah! I am off duty! Flaunt your errors!

    //Truly, I’m not one of those editors who turns into the grammar police. Life’s too short to go around correcting people when I’m not getting paid to do it.

  130. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    April 20th, 2013 at 3:41 pm [Reply]

    FW: If this isn’t proof that Batiuk had only one good story in him, and must therefore milk it for all its worth, I don’t know what is.

    RMMD: June needed her doctor to tell her that? That’s the sort of thing you can figure out just by seeing the positive pee stick and realizing that you’re two weeks late. (Most of the OB-GYNs around here won’t even bother to see you until you’re in your seventh or eighth week, but I guess that’s a perk of being a doctor’s wife.)

  131. Flamedrake
    April 20th, 2013 at 3:41 pm [Reply]

    “I’m hungry,” June growls, eyeing the only person in the room up and down before finishing in a whisper, “…all the time!” June, you’re not pregnant, you’re a werewolf. Get a new doctor.

  132. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    April 20th, 2013 at 4:00 pm [Reply]

  133. commodorejohn
    April 20th, 2013 at 4:05 pm [Reply]

    @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#130): If this isn’t proof that Batiuk had only one good story in him
    Fixed that for you.

  134. Francis Hobbs
    April 20th, 2013 at 4:10 pm [Reply]

    @Ukulele Ike (#122): On Earth-Two “Mary Worth’s Family” was discontinued in 1946. It was replaced by a new humor strip called “Sluggo Smith’s Family.”

  135. Rip Houndstooth, Man Of Action
    April 20th, 2013 at 4:18 pm [Reply]

    Whether you noticed the “Gandalf” or “autograph” misspelling first depends on where you are on the LOTR Nerd to Spelling/Grammar Nerd scale. I, of course, noticed “autogragh” a few seconds earlier.

  136. Frank Lee Meidere
    April 20th, 2013 at 4:22 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#126): Can’t fool me. That was Mark Twain quoting Camus in Shakespeare’s famous play, The Merry Wives of Richard III.

  137. J. Elhew Bisbee, Hobo Detective
    April 20th, 2013 at 4:26 pm [Reply]

    @Flying Manatee (#4): That’s… that’s the Gary Josh had in mind, and linked to. What did you think was the other Gary that you didn’t think and you thought Josh thought of (but didn’t)?

  138. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    April 20th, 2013 at 4:26 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#136): Mary was married to Richard III?

  139. Illustrator Steve
    April 20th, 2013 at 4:31 pm [Reply]

    @Jim in Wisc. (#95): Grumman aluminum canoe on top of what I think may be about a 1963 or 64 Ford Falcon or Fairlaine stationwagon pulling an old Apache pop up camper.

    //A friend of mine had one of those aluminum canoes. He didn’t flip it upside down one winter while it was stored. A cat used it for it’s litter box and next spring the canoe had a 4″ hole eaten thru the bottom.

  140. Corn Whisperer (lend me your ear)
    April 20th, 2013 at 4:48 pm [Reply]

    MW: That car is going to get cooties.

  141. Mysterion
    April 20th, 2013 at 4:55 pm [Reply]

    No, Gandolf is an original character. And so are his friends, Rilbo Raggins and Eragorn son of Erathorn.

  142. Corn Whisperer (lend me your ear)
    April 20th, 2013 at 4:57 pm [Reply]

    Zits: Why does that shoelace have a hard on?

  143. The Rocky Project
    April 20th, 2013 at 5:05 pm [Reply]

    Mary Worth

    No wonder Tom has the urge to go — he forgot to take his Lunesta® (eszopiclone).

  144. Apprehensive Shrug
    April 20th, 2013 at 5:43 pm [Reply]

    @Jessy (#94):

    “RMMD: Would a doctor really use the term “with child”?”

    Well, not when “with entitled hellspawn” might turn out to be more accurate.

  145. Zerowolf
    April 20th, 2013 at 5:43 pm [Reply]

    @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#129): Awww. You took all the fun out of it. I’ll just have to go link up clown pictures and trick Baka Gaijin into clicking on them.

  146. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    April 20th, 2013 at 5:54 pm [Reply]

    @Illustrator Steve (#139): Cat pee is an amazing solvent, yes. One of our cats once peed on a metal enameled toolbox belonging to my father, and the urine etched the paint clean off, and rusted what was left.

  147. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    April 20th, 2013 at 5:55 pm [Reply]

    @Zerowolf (#145): I have “the Pedantic Wet Blanket” as part of my name for a reason. :D

  148. Corn Whisperer (lend me your ear)
    April 20th, 2013 at 5:57 pm [Reply]

    MT:

    “We can’t leave you ladies here alone!”

    “We’ll be fine, Wes! You and Mark go ahead!”

    Besides, those are man-eating moose. They wouldn’t touch a woman.

  149. Old Folkie
    April 20th, 2013 at 6:17 pm [Reply]

    @Illustrator Steve (#139): Correct – it’s a ’63 Fairlane, with either the 260 or 289 V8.

  150. Illustrator Steve
    April 20th, 2013 at 6:37 pm [Reply]

    @Old Folkie (#149): Hey, I hit it on the nose! Thanks. What do I win?

    //Good eye there noticing it was a V8. I spotted those crossed checkered flag emblems on the front quarter panels too.

  151. Illustrator Steve
    April 20th, 2013 at 6:39 pm [Reply]

    @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#146): And depending on their diet it can smell pretty bad too!

  152. erdmann
    April 20th, 2013 at 6:44 pm [Reply]

    FW: Considering Les is writing a script, wouldn’t it make more sense to make the panels look like film with sprocket holes on the sides, instead of the sepia-tone photo album look? Considering this is “Funky Winkerbean,” wouldn’t my time be better spent thinking about something else?

  153. Illustrator Steve
    April 20th, 2013 at 6:56 pm [Reply]

    MT – The girls seem to be doing nothing but sitting around the campsite, but not for long. Today Cherry is going to introduce Shelly to Mother Nature. Their first stop planed is at Mother Nature’s hemp field. After two hours helping Mother Nature by harvesting her cannabis they will then return to camp after which they really WILL be sitting around the campsite doing nothing!

  154. Illustrator Steve
    April 20th, 2013 at 7:05 pm [Reply]

    @Old Folkie (#149): @Illustrator Steve (#139): I’m surprised someone didn’t make a comment about how I noticed every detail of the material things (car, canoe, trailer) in that picture in comment # 95 from Jim in Wisc. but didn’t mention the serine picture perfect landscape with a beautiful calm lake and senic beauty beyond. ….nah, I’d rather study the styling lines on that ’63 Fairlaine wagon! @Jim in Wisc. (#95):

  155. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    April 20th, 2013 at 7:16 pm [Reply]

    @Illustrator Steve (#154): a certain meme comes to mind.

  156. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    April 20th, 2013 at 7:19 pm [Reply]

    @Illustrator Steve (#153): darnit.

    it won’t be 4-20 by the time I’m sober enough to GIMP in a couple of spliffs into MT panel 3. . . .

  157. EmarandZeb
    April 20th, 2013 at 7:41 pm [Reply]

    @Bill Murray (#30): @Flying Manatee (#4): I too went to Gary Gilmore and music, but to Gary Gilmore’s Eyes by the Adverts. A nice slice of ’70s punk about the person who received Gilmore’s donated corneas

    Nice. It was “Let’s Shoot Maria,” by the Deadbeats, for me.

    “Gonna finish off what Gary Gilmore started! Gonna finish off what Gary Gilmore started!” etc.

  158. jim, some guy in iowa
    April 20th, 2013 at 7:45 pm [Reply]

    question re: ‘funky w’ — is this going to be the *third* time tom batiuk goes through the story of lisa’s cancer? first for real, then les’s book, and now the script?

  159. Corn Whisperer (lend me your ear)
    April 20th, 2013 at 7:49 pm [Reply]

    @Illustrator Steve (#153): After two hours of harvesting we’ll have sweaty girls sitting around the campsite. Glistening bodies. Radiant skin reflect the light of the campfire. Hot, bothered and ready for action.

    Can this maybe actually happen in the new Mark Trail?

  160. seismic-2
    April 20th, 2013 at 7:50 pm [Reply]

    FW:Lisa opens the drawer and takes out a pamphlet on breast self-exams.
    [buzz] “What is the opening scene of the lamest skin flick ever to air on The Cable Movie Entertainment channel, Alex?”

    We were recently conducting a discussion herein about the use of punched cards by old-style computers. It is interesting to note that Les is writing his screenplay with a software package that uses ASCII characters on a bit-mapped screen to reproduce the appearance of a giant punched card. I assume if is part of an office suite that performs spreadsheet calculations using a graphical image of an abacus.

  161. Dale
    April 20th, 2013 at 7:55 pm [Reply]

    @Illustrator Steve (#153):

    MARK TRAIL

    Meeting Mother Nature – I noted that they have a table, chairs, and a tent.
    Now that the ladies are alone, it’s time for Cherry to show Shelley the crapper.
    Mark and Wes probably forgot about this issue.

  162. tallyHO
    April 20th, 2013 at 8:02 pm [Reply]

    @jim, some guy in iowa (#158):
    He madly wants a Pulitzer Prize for Best Redundancy in a Fictional Feature in Newspapers.

    He’s tired of losing out to people who have horoscope columns.

  163. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    April 20th, 2013 at 8:06 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#162): saaaNURK!!!

  164. The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan
    April 20th, 2013 at 8:06 pm [Reply]

    Okay, so I broke down and shelled out for GIMP (Scudder sure does drive a hard bargain): Elinor truly never gives up!

  165. Dale
    April 20th, 2013 at 8:07 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#160):

    That doesn’t look like a punched card, more like several sets of margins or indentation levels.
    Is he typing this thing in from scratch instead of taking a hedge trimmers to the original book?

  166. Alter Ego
    April 20th, 2013 at 8:08 pm [Reply]

    love is… advertising how many orgasms you had last night.

  167. Alter Ego
    April 20th, 2013 at 8:09 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#40): Speaking from personal experience?

  168. ALee
    April 20th, 2013 at 8:12 pm [Reply]

    BC seems to have really bad timing, sometimes. I remember it had one that came out on 9/11, of all days, involving someone “splatted” at the bottom of a cliff. There were definitely letters to the editor they printed over that one, and I won’t be surprised if there are from today too…

  169. Nehemiah Scudder
    April 20th, 2013 at 8:15 pm [Reply]

    @The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan (#164): Dude! That is refulgent!

    // GIMP is well worth the expense, no? Remember, the cheapskate always ends up paying the most!

  170. jim, some guy in iowa
    April 20th, 2013 at 8:15 pm [Reply]

    i like that explanation better than the idea he has some sort of fixation on lingering death

  171. jim, some guy in iowa
    April 20th, 2013 at 8:17 pm [Reply]

    @jim, some guy in iowa (#170): grr! meant as reply to tallyHO @ #162

  172. Amos Snarkadder
    April 20th, 2013 at 8:28 pm [Reply]

    MW Beth isn’t so sure about getting in his car. What would Mother say?

    But that Tom has such a wit, Beth could just lose control.

  173. Peanut Gallery
    April 20th, 2013 at 8:35 pm [Reply]

    @Bill Peschel (#21):

    I’d love to have a steady job where I don’t have to care about the quality of my work!

    So You Want To Be A Syndicated Cartoonist…

  174. commodorejohn
    April 20th, 2013 at 8:36 pm [Reply]

    @jim, some guy in iowa (#170): Who says they’re mutually exclusive?

  175. Johnny Q
    April 20th, 2013 at 8:46 pm [Reply]

    No doubt the WIZARD OF ID writers were thinking about golf when they misspelled Gandalf’s name.

  176. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    April 20th, 2013 at 8:52 pm [Reply]

    @Alter Ego (#167): nope, just something that I heard.

    Oh I heard it through the grapevine,
    Oh and I’m just about to lose my mind. . . .

  177. Amos Snarkadder
    April 20th, 2013 at 8:53 pm [Reply]

  178. The Rocky Project
    April 20th, 2013 at 8:55 pm [Reply]

    @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#146): Pigeon poop is also powerful solvent. I personally know of a vintage neon sign that disintegrated because the pigeons built a nest inside of it.

  179. tallyHO
    April 20th, 2013 at 8:57 pm [Reply]

    Where is Utah in relation to ID?

    Waitasec! Hold the Phone! Start slicing potatoes because you’re already late and it is no longer Fries Day!

    Am I to understand that all this time this guy’s been the Wizard of Idaho?

  180. Frank Lee Meidere
    April 20th, 2013 at 9:01 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#138): Yes. She even had her own TV show in which she starred as herself: Mary Richard’s.

  181. Majicou
    April 20th, 2013 at 9:03 pm [Reply]

    @The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan (#164): That’s downright Gilliamesque. My imaginary hat is off.

  182. The Rocky Project
    April 20th, 2013 at 9:05 pm [Reply]

    @Alter Ego (#166): love is… advertising how many orgasms you had last night.

    Love is… rating your partner on a scale of 1 to 10.

  183. Dartpaw86
    April 20th, 2013 at 9:10 pm [Reply]

  184. Amos Snarkadder
    April 20th, 2013 at 9:18 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#yt87): Yikes!
    //Um… can I get that in a wallet-sized print?

  185. The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan
    April 20th, 2013 at 9:25 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#169): @Amos Snarkadder (#177): @Majicou (#181): Thank you all. Evil plan: confirmed. Stay tuned…

  186. The Rocky Project
    April 20th, 2013 at 9:30 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#138): After Mary divorced the lush, she was sadder Budweiser®

  187. Amos Snarkadder
    April 20th, 2013 at 9:36 pm [Reply]

    @The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan (#185): So. It’s come to this. A conspiracy.

  188. Ratiocinator
    April 20th, 2013 at 9:49 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#180): I’d think she’d really be “Richard’s Mary”, but that would ruin the joke.

    (The name in the credits was a stage name, I presume.)

  189. Sgt. Stoned
    April 20th, 2013 at 9:53 pm [Reply]

    WOI: The Wiz is referring to Gandolf Hilter, Der Fuehrer of all wizards and the author of “Mine Camph”.

    MT: I smell a double kidnapping comin’ down the road.

    RMMD: My mother drank coffee and wine and smoked cigarettes when she was pregnant with me and I TURNED OUT JUST FINE!!!

  190. Liam
    April 20th, 2013 at 9:54 pm [Reply]

    RMMD-”I know that I’m with child. I do have a daughter. What I want to know is am I pregnant?”

  191. Liam
    April 20th, 2013 at 9:57 pm [Reply]

    MW-”But suddenly I had the urge to go and the bathrooms at the grocery store are a lot cleaner than mine.”

  192. odinthor
    April 20th, 2013 at 10:20 pm [Reply]

    #72. Cloudbuster.

    Explain the part again where Rex has a stroke while imagining Fleurrie undressing?

    No, no, no—you’re getting all confused. Rex had the stroke while watching Big Bob Stuff in the showers.

    #130. RtPDW.

    If this isn’t proof that Batiuk had only one good story in him, and must therefore milk it for all its worth, I don’t know what is.

    Heh heh! “Milk.” I get it…

    #190. Liam.

    RMMD-”I know that I’m with child. I do have a daughter. What I want to know is am I pregnant?”

    “You mean I was with a child. Mmmm, Niki . . . (sigh) . . . Anyway, so what can we do to make the baby look like Rex?

  193. Zla'od
    April 20th, 2013 at 10:29 pm [Reply]

    I wrote the pope complaining about the spelling of Castel Gandolfo, but he says he’s infallible and that’s that.

  194. Paul1963
    April 20th, 2013 at 10:47 pm [Reply]

    @Morgan Wick (#37):

    I’d imagine you pronounce it as the poor guests in yesterday’s Heathcliff (which really was amazing, Josh) would, assuming they were saying it as Heathcliff sprang at their faces:
    “…so we had to explain to Rex that Rin Tin Tin has been dead for many years, and couldn’t send him an autogrAAAAGH!”

  195. Paul1963
    April 20th, 2013 at 10:55 pm [Reply]

    @Illustrator Steve (#139): @Illustrator Steve (#139):

    It’s a Fairlane–quad headlights and stubby little fins.

  196. Paul1963
    April 20th, 2013 at 10:59 pm [Reply]

    @jim, some guy in iowa (#158):
    “Lisa’s Story” is the “Dark Phoenix Saga” of Funky Winkerbean. Batiuk’s just gonna keep retelling it every few years for the rest of his life. The difference between FW and X-Men is that eventually Chris Claremont left X-Men and Batiuk is unlikely to leave FW of his own volition.

  197. Paul1963
    April 20th, 2013 at 11:02 pm [Reply]

    @Paul1963 (#196):
    Oh, and X-Men is usually readable.

  198. seismic-2
    April 20th, 2013 at 11:20 pm [Reply]

    @Paul1963 (#196): And in a movie adaptation of Funky Winkerbean, Patrick Stewart will not play Les (if he values his career, or perhaps even his life, at all).

  199. Droopy Says
    April 20th, 2013 at 11:25 pm [Reply]

    Spiderschlemiel: So once again, in some funny way a lazy, TV-watching boor wins.

    Creepy Les: Happiness is watching Creepy Les go bald. It somehow highlights the blankness of his thoughts. Now please, let that ball crash through the window, hit his computer hard enough to wreck it, then riccochet into that smug jerk’s face.

    Family Circus: And thus PJ emits his first fart-balloon, putting him in competiton with Marvin.

    Phantom: WTF? Is that what Mandrake would look like if drawn by a real artist? What’s happening to the comics? First Dick Tracy turns good, then Mark Trail, and now Mandrake?

    Mark Trail: Holy cow, Rusty and Mark are fishing. What’s happening to reality?

    Pluggers: Unfortunately, not enough of it is happening to reality.

  200. Totally Not Aviatrix
    April 21st, 2013 at 12:34 am [Reply]

    @jim, some guy in iowa (#158): And again while they film it, and again during the opening night screening of the movie. And one final time, in the final moments of Les’ life, as a gas main explosion levels the theatre.

  201. Droopy Says
    April 21st, 2013 at 1:05 am [Reply]

    @Totally Not Aviatrix (#200): And yet again when Les’s ghost haunts the Dead Fucking Lisa Cancer Museum, forcing the story upon patrons lost tourists as they try to find the restroom. They’re gonna have to pry this one from Batiuk’s cold, dead imagination.

  202. Poteet
    April 21st, 2013 at 1:20 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#121): I’m still predicting twins, by the way. Freakish, huge-headed twins who will look six or seven by the time they are a year old.

  203. Poteet
    April 21st, 2013 at 1:26 am [Reply]

    PV — WHAT are we and Val looking at in Panel Three??? I’m so unnerved that I can’t fully enjoy this brief glimpse of Gawain behaving like a sensible mature person for once. Use your influence to get him out of that hairstyle, Rhoda!

  204. Dale
    April 21st, 2013 at 1:32 am [Reply]

    MARY WORTH

    This is not the normal meaning of “carpooling”.

    Tom wants to go roadside.
    Beth will settle for parking lot.

  205. Poteet
    April 21st, 2013 at 1:33 am [Reply]

    MW — “I left a phone message with your mother and wondered whether it reached you or if she might have accidentally forgotten to tell you I called.” Nooooooo, that would be too simple and make too much sense.

  206. Frank Lee Meidere
    April 21st, 2013 at 1:39 am [Reply]

    @Ratiocinator (#188): Yeah. “Richard’s Mary” didn’t quite work.

  207. Poteet
    April 21st, 2013 at 1:39 am [Reply]

    MT — Omigosh, it’s an Earth Day strip with some herps and Rusty is finally getting to fish with Mark! Happy Sunday to all and to all a good night.

  208. Frank Lee Meidere
    April 21st, 2013 at 1:44 am [Reply]

    9CL (Sunday): I laughed. Not only laughed but admired the entire set-up and execution. Why can’t this guy do more comics for the strip?

  209. seismic-2
    April 21st, 2013 at 2:10 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#203): It was well known in the Middle Ages that the best treatment for someone with a serious injury was plenty of bed rest, on a breast-shaped pillow. Knights would deliberately get wounded, just so that they could undergo the recuperation therapy.

  210. Baka Gaijin
    April 21st, 2013 at 3:43 am [Reply]

    @Zerowolf (#145): HA! [adds Zerowolf to the "do not click link" list]

    @Zla’od (#193): The pope is ex cathedra, you know. He gotta do some cathedra-ing sometimes.

  211. Mr. O’Malley
    April 21st, 2013 at 3:54 am [Reply]

    PV: Beat the reaper? I wasn’t expecting a Firesign Theatre reference in PV!

    FW: I’m familiar with miniature golf, but miniature baseball is a new one on me.

    6C: “Commonplace Chinese”? I ate there a couple of days ago!

  212. Baka Gaijin
    April 21st, 2013 at 4:02 am [Reply]

    NOTE TO BETH KINLEY: For a final resolution to your mother’s medical issues, ask your her PCM for a referral to a new doc, Dr. Kevorkian.

  213. Liam
    April 21st, 2013 at 6:01 am [Reply]

    MW-Or like joining this lonely bachelor out to the middle of nowhere where he can kill you and bury you in a shallow grave.

    JP-We take money people give us. We don’t give money to people. That is why we’re rich.

    FW-So we are going all the way back to when Lisa was a pregnant teenager? Are we going to be told that teen pregnancy leads to cancer?

    FW 2-”Yeah. I’ll just rewrite the past so it’ll come out a lot more cheery and fun rather than the dark and soul crushing depression that it was.”

    RMMD-”The only thing that guy pays attention to is money. I was dangling Hard Time right out in his face and the man didn’t even notice.”

    RMMD 2-If Avery didn’t give the nurse a hard time then he probably was having trouble getting it up. I suggest that you prescribe him something for that.

  214. Baka Gaijin
    April 21st, 2013 at 6:27 am [Reply]

    @Liam (#213) on Mary Worth: Now would that be such a bad thing? Living with Elinor Kinley or quick death? Hmm.

  215. CanuckDownSouth
    April 21st, 2013 at 6:37 am [Reply]

    MW: Beth’s mom may be onto something – he’s met Beth once over dinner with others, and Beth agreed a date would be nice (although it hasn’t happened), so now he’s hoping she’ll suggest they go on vacation together as the beginning of spending their lives together. Juniour high girls drawing their dream wedding dresses and practicing writing their name with the last name of a guy-crush they only see in class have more maturity than this. Run! run for the hills, Beth!

  216. Nehemiah Scudder
    April 21st, 2013 at 7:11 am [Reply]

    Sun 21 Apr 2013 07:05:59 AM CDT

    Dilbert:
    “Why didn’t you catch me?”
    “It wouldn’t be trust if it worked every time.”

    Everything I need to know about theodicy, I can learn in the comics.

  217. Baka Gaijin
    April 21st, 2013 at 7:28 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#216): I took this strip as a documentary on office life. I would never do a “trust exercise” with most of the coworkers in my career.

  218. jim, some guy in iowa
    April 21st, 2013 at 7:35 am [Reply]

    “get fuzzy” borrowed a script from last week’s “spiderman” – bucky as the kingpin

  219. Baka Gaijin
    April 21st, 2013 at 7:37 am [Reply]

    New post ahead!

  220. notmydesk
    April 21st, 2013 at 10:27 am [Reply]

    Maybe it’s the fact that I myself am “with child,” but June’s first response to being pregnant being about booze seems really sad and macabre. Like, unnecessarily so. Like, just slightly less disturbing than if she’d said, “Hey, Doc, can you punch me really hard in the face? I just really fucking need to FEEL something.”

  221. Illustrator Steve
    April 21st, 2013 at 5:02 pm [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#199): @Poteet (#207): “Holy cow! Mark and Rusty are fishing!” “Ohmigosh…Rusty is finally getting to fish with Mark!”

    I think the answer here is simple…Mark Trail is comprised of two entirely different strips. Monday thru Friday there’s the TRAILVERSE. On Sunday there’s the TRMT ALLENVERSE.*
    Fishing with Rusty is strickly forbidden in the Trailverse but is allowed only on Sundays in the Allenverse. …That’s maybe too frequently, How ’bout we say that fishing with Rusty is only allowed on SUNDAY’S THAT FALL JUST BEFORE EARTH DAY….and only during years that end in 13….and only during centurys that end in 20. //There, that’s MUCH better!

    (*reference to TRMT the Real MarkTrail, James Allen).

  222. Northernlurker
    April 22nd, 2013 at 5:43 pm [Reply]

    MT: when did Cherry develop that wasp waist? Does she do crunches constantly while Mark. I want to see her in a sports bra so I can see her no doubt awesome six-pack.
    JP: My brother-in-law has spent some time setting up water purification systems in Central America. The ones he puts in consist of concrete vats, water and sand. They work like a charm and I doubt they cost $1,000.

  223. Anonymous
    April 23rd, 2013 at 12:37 pm [Reply]

    “Autograph” is spelled wrong.

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