The Comics Curmudgeon

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Hootin’ Holler family values

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 9/24/08

When I first read this comic, I missed the joke, reading the dialog of the last two panels like this:

“Really? Your dad’s a traveling salesman?”

“No, just kidding! He’s just the regular kind of dad you’d find in this blighted hillbilly shantytown: a toothless, semi-literate chicken thief with no visible means of support and a terrible gambling problem! He’s never home because he’s usually in jail, or at a whorehouse!”

I did get my head around the punchline in short order, obviously, but then, because I’m a fancy east coast urban elitist (if that wasn’t obvious from my initial interpretation), I became resentful about being befuddled by a strip about rustic morons. Damn you, you clever mountain folk!

Gil Thorp, 9/24/08

You know, if Cully Vale had been caught looming menacingly over the shattered form of one of his hapless backyard wrestling victims like monstrously large defensive back (or something?) Jeff Ponczak is doing in panel two here, he’d have been put away for life. But because Jeff’s assault took place in the context of a school-sanctioned athletic competition, he gets the cheers of thousands, and everything is A-OK! Instead, it’s the third panel of today’s Gil Thorp that’s really disturbing. Let’s count the ways!

Jeff is gazing rapturously heavenward with the sun (or possibly the stadium lights) beaming down on his face, as if he were in a propaganda poster urging the workers and peasants to redouble their efforts to meet the goals of Stalin’s latest Five-Year Plan.
Some sort of terrifying bandage-wrapped hand is resting on Jeff’s shoulder, as if he were being accosted by a leper or a mummy or, worse, Spider-Man.
Jeff is being showered with approbation in the form of a series of epithets that reference his quarterback-tackling prowess, all of which will unfortunately force you to contemplate Jeff’s scrotum.

Mark Trail, 9/24/08

And with the arrival of a mustache, we now have this storyline’s sinister villain, in the form of the random white dude attached to the aforementioned mustache. I can’t wait until we find out that the “right people on our side” are the lawyers who have meticulously worked with state and local governments and environmental groups to get the permits necessary to drain the grassland and build something nice on the land legally owned by Mr. Mustache and Mr. Guy He’s Talking On The Phone To Who Probably Also Has A Mustache. “But, Mr. Trail, I think you’ll find that all our paperwork is in order…” “Paperwork does not impress me! You drained a friend of mine’s land’s neighboring wetlands!” *PUNCH*

This entry was posted on Wednesday, September 24, 2008 at 02:02 pm and is filed under Barney Google & Snuffy Smith, Gil Thorp, Mark Trail.

188 responses to “Hootin’ Holler family values”

Mr. Bad Example
September 24th, 2008 at 2:05 pm [Reply]

I…I can’t decide whether I would like to be called “The Sackmaster” or not.

Damn you, Gil Thorp. Damn you to hell.
Pigita
September 24th, 2008 at 2:09 pm [Reply]

Sackodog immediately made me think of Marmaduke’s scrotum.

I immediately threw up in my mouth a little.

And as for the hillbillies, I completely missed the joke. After about 80 readings, I figured out it was not that his Paw was a regular salesman, not the traveling kind, it was that his Paw wasn’t honest.

And Then I realized I had read Snuffy Smith 80 times, and recoiled in horror.
Hank
September 24th, 2008 at 2:14 pm [Reply]

Little known fun fact: “the Sackmaster” was the Secret Service Code name for Bill Clinton.
Patrick
September 24th, 2008 at 2:15 pm [Reply]

Traveling salesmen aren’t honest? I know they bed farmer’s daughters (alive or dead) with impunity, but are they dishonest?

“I’m selling vacuum cleaners!”

“Really?”

“No, I’m actually selling dirt, but nobody lets me in the door if I say that.”
Kevin Moore
September 24th, 2008 at 2:15 pm [Reply]

Isn’t that unnamed white dude in Mark Trail really wearing an “ironic moustache”? It’s too 1970s Burt Reynolds to be taken seriously. If so, Mark will punch him out just on principle. “Damn hipsters!”
fifteenkeys
September 24th, 2008 at 2:17 pm [Reply]

Strictly speaking, that wasn’t a sack. Since the QB got his own deflected pass, he was now a receiver and that ended up being a passing play for negative yards.

I can’t believe my first post is this, how lame. At least it is about Gil Thorpe, which I would not have had any idea about without reading this.
enfueago
September 24th, 2008 at 2:17 pm [Reply]

There is nothing inherently unfunny about snuffy smith other than it is an uninspired legacy comic. Traveling salesmen jokes? Does anyone under 70 get this the first time? I say they keep the strip but make the subjects contemporary: Instead of moonshining, Snuffy grows weed or has a meth lab; the family has repeated hijinks trying to con their way on to SSI benefits; one of the hillbilly neighbors runs for vice president (no wait, thats been done…)
fifteenkeys
September 24th, 2008 at 2:18 pm [Reply]

Besides, wouldn’t PonSACK be a better nickname!
JuicyFruitKisses
September 24th, 2008 at 2:19 pm [Reply]

“Sackmaster”! Ha ha ha ha – it’s my new favourite insult. Right up there with “Butt Pirate” and “Pillow Biter”.
trey le parc
September 24th, 2008 at 2:20 pm [Reply]

GT: The hand belongs to Spiderman. He’s presumably vacated his own strip due to lack of interest, and is scouting for a new locale. Given his NYC upbringing, it’s quite possible he seeks out a more rural setting. The only thing he hasn’t thought through is the lack of tall buildings, so expect to see Milford’s FD rescuing a distraught Spiderman from the stately oaks lining Main Street.
Mysterious Shirtless Stranger
September 24th, 2008 at 2:21 pm [Reply]

I thought the joke was that Jamey was bragging–”I’m an healthy bastard, not a product of retarded inbreeding like you.”
C. Havoc
September 24th, 2008 at 2:24 pm [Reply]

Everything, and I mean EVERYTHING I thought to say about todays comics was covered perfectly by today’s post.

Damn you, Josh. Damn you and bless you.
Lettuce
September 24th, 2008 at 2:27 pm [Reply]

Not many people know this, but at the end of “The Neverending Story,” when Bastian must name the Princess in order to save Fantasia and all of its giant turtles, racing snails, green-skinned Atreyus and feathered luck dragons, the name he gives her is, in fact, “Sackodog.”
Cranky
September 24th, 2008 at 2:28 pm [Reply]

Never before have I thought to confuse the football term “sack” and scrotal sack. Damn you, Gil Thorp. Damn you to hell.
Marion Delgado
September 24th, 2008 at 2:29 pm [Reply]

Now that Alan is drinking with Aldo, Lu Ann can finally get together with Mr. Right, her kissing cousin Blaze. And by kissing cousin, I mean cousin you’re kissing at the moment. And if you have issues with that, well, it was good enough for Lu Ann’s parents!
Daily Comics Reviewer
September 24th, 2008 at 2:30 pm [Reply]

Mustaches are an automatic give-away of evilness. The only thing that might be a better indicator is a full on goatee. And orange hair
Anonymous
September 24th, 2008 at 2:32 pm [Reply]

Another little known fun fact: Sackodog was the Secret Service Code name for Hillary Clinton.

What a co wink e dink
JB
September 24th, 2008 at 2:33 pm [Reply]

I swear, if TJ or Toni ever get to say, “And there’s the money shot!”, I’ll lead the parade for Greg Evans.

More likely, though, TJ will stay in the closet (with Bucky), the chief will still refer to his friend as “Tony”, and nobody will ever be the wiser.
Idols of Mud
September 24th, 2008 at 2:34 pm [Reply]

GT: How does Jeff block a pass if he’s coming at the QB from the side? And, I might add, looking less like a determined linebacker than someone holding an offensive lineman’s hand and spinning gaily.
JB
September 24th, 2008 at 2:35 pm [Reply]

And Sackobill was Monica’s code name.

You hear that, you dang hayseeds? We’re using codenames.
Sili
September 24th, 2008 at 2:36 pm [Reply]

Didn’t we just have this Mark Trail storyline?

Oh – silly me. There is only the one Mark Trail storyline, isn’t there?
The Paradox
September 24th, 2008 at 2:38 pm [Reply]

MW- Terry: “And I hope more careful when asked for personal information, too. Now, climb over my lap for a taste of this big oval hairbrush I’m pulling out of my case. That’s what happens to bad girls who are careless on the internets.”
Mollie
September 24th, 2008 at 2:39 pm [Reply]

Really, Cranky? When I was in college we used to do a cheer: “Scrotum, scrotum, quarterback sack!” It was an intellectual environment to be sure.

Josh, you forgot to mention the festering skin disease — cystic acne? — marring Jeff’s heroic face. Or is that just sweat? Either way, I lost my appetite. And “sackodog” ranks right up there with “roadside” and “foob” in the lexicon of “things helplessly out-of-touch comic writers believe teens might say in conversation with their peers.” And unless I miss my guess, Jeff’s last name has the word “sack” right in it when you say it out loud, so there is really no need to go to such painful lengths to turn his propensity for sacking into a nickname.

I am in love with the description of Mark Trail as “an outdoor writer.” I think of it in similar terms to “outdoor cat.” Like Mark isn’t allowed to do his writing indoors, because he’s just too destructive/messy/annoying to have in the house. That sort of setup would make him special indeed, because while I know a number of writers, hardly any of them could be called “outdoor” writers. In fact, it would be a total oxymoron.
Just_human
September 24th, 2008 at 2:39 pm [Reply]

Bleh, he named her “Moon Child”. Once you know that, go back and watch it – he clearly says that. But it seems he insinuates that’s his own mother’s name… always boggled my mind.

I got the joke the first time I read it. Does that make me better, or worse, than you guys?
JP (not Judge Parker)
September 24th, 2008 at 2:43 pm [Reply]

MT: Maybe the new storyline is trying to bring greater attention to the Green Scare. Apparently this unnamed big company is so paranoid that they’re surveilling Pop Johnson’s house! I bet they’re going to start dumpster diving at Mark’s house pretty soon.
Pozzo
September 24th, 2008 at 2:47 pm [Reply]

“He’s a traveling’ salesman — so he’s prob’ly your pa, too!”
Hibbleton
September 24th, 2008 at 2:47 pm [Reply]

Looks like Herr Sackmaster is back at the Nazi rally that opened this particular sequence in GT –though the mummy’s hand on the shoulder is a bit of a head scratcher.
Seismic-2
September 24th, 2008 at 2:49 pm [Reply]

“Ponczak brings him down” in the second panel? I’ll say he does, since he’s holding a knife in his right hand! With that pumped fist held high over the torso of the dying quarterback (vainly trying to clasp his hands over his gaping wound), Ponczak gives me all sorts of creepy OJ Simpson vibes. At least in panel 3 he gets his just rewards, as the giant disembodied hand of terror that has been lurking in this strip ever since we first saw Ponczak is now applying the Vulcan nerve pinch to his collarbone, inducing facial paralysis.
Anonymoose
September 24th, 2008 at 2:50 pm [Reply]

A3G- Tommie’s face doesn’t appear to say, “Oh no!” so much as “Oh no you di’n't!”

Archie – Todays joke seems to be written by an ancient man, with no understanding of what “a bluetooth” is, but it also seems to be written by a machine who, never having worn human earrings, does not understand how they attach, or that you typically wear two. Then it hit me: It was written by an ancient machine!

FC: I’m sure you were all as shocked as I by the revelation today’s color strip. The children of the Keane family apparently do not live on Earth, but a similar life-bearing planet that orbits a dying star. The fact that their planet is doomed to an icy death (albeit in a few billion years) explains why I always feel the chill of the grave when reading this strip. Or, maybe the coloring guys just loused up again.

FW: Leave the dieting jokes to Cathy. Stick with making us horribly depressed.

GT: I had a friend who we used to call sackodog until sixth grade, when we learned that the proper term was “scrotodog”.

H&J: I’ve read this about ten times, and I still can’t decide if they are admiring the throw, or the male anatomy of the thrower.

Marvin: The look of unmitigated lust on Clare’s face (girls can’t resist a bad-boy) is, I feel, a bit crude in a family newspaper.
Pozzo
September 24th, 2008 at 2:50 pm [Reply]

Hey — he makes sacks and his name sounds like “Sack.” Talk about your happy synchronicities! Dickens couldn’t have done it better…if he had written about American high school athletics.

Also, running multiple variations on “Sack” makes me think Kevin Nealon’s Copy Guy is in the stands somewhere.
bartcow
September 24th, 2008 at 2:51 pm [Reply]

C’mon, everybody, what’s the grossest-looking word in the English language?

That’s right, “sack” without the “k”.
Ned Ryerson
September 24th, 2008 at 2:52 pm [Reply]

I just learned, from one of our covert wetlands operatives, codename: Sneaky, that an outdoor writer is visiting Pop Johnson….he might cause us some problems.
Gold-Digging Nanny
September 24th, 2008 at 2:52 pm [Reply]

The Sack-o-Matic 2000!
Sack-a-Mole!
Hop on board the Sack-Train!
Jeff Ponczak and the Sack Attacks!
Openin’ a can of Whoop-Sack!
Orange Doorhinge
September 24th, 2008 at 2:53 pm [Reply]

A3G: Margo is on her way to the morgue! Kind of like a visit to Disneyworld for most people.
Maughta
September 24th, 2008 at 2:58 pm [Reply]

What in the world has Jeff been engaging in to give him such a damp visage? Bukkake?! Ewwww. So sorry for that thought!
Gold-Digging Nanny
September 24th, 2008 at 2:58 pm [Reply]

21 Sili — There are two Mark Trail storylines: Corrupt Developers Try to Ruin the Environment and Someone’s Pet Has Been Stolen.
Orange Doorhinge
September 24th, 2008 at 2:58 pm [Reply]

GT: That second panel is just plain scary! The guy standing is holding a knife while threatening the prone guy with his fist. The guy on the ground,meanwhile, is ripping the flesh off the guy #1’s leg with his teeth. Ow, thats gotta hurt.
Gold-Digging Nanny
September 24th, 2008 at 2:59 pm [Reply]

Make that three: Kelly Welly Causes Trouble.
Hey, Seed!
September 24th, 2008 at 2:59 pm [Reply]

We’re using codenames.

We used codenames too, but my cousin still got pregnant.
Perky Bird
September 24th, 2008 at 3:00 pm [Reply]

In what time and/or place was ” -odog” ever considered an appropriate nickname-creating suffix?
Orange Doorhinge
September 24th, 2008 at 3:01 pm [Reply]

GT (again) Titter! Panel 1 looks like a roller derby! In panel 3 Gil or Sack or whoever it is, is sobbing in agony, and I don’t blame him, his leg is mangled and half-eaten.
Dan
September 24th, 2008 at 3:07 pm [Reply]

Justice for Reeky!
Mac
September 24th, 2008 at 3:08 pm [Reply]

The owner of the unseen voice does not have a mustache, he has whiskers, since it’s obviously Sneaky, the well-named evil raccoon.
Niall
September 24th, 2008 at 3:09 pm [Reply]

The Mark Trail snark by Josh is pretty much what I expected it to be, just a little wordier. Okay, I had “Woohoo, a moustache! Villain time, RFoJ can’t be far behind!” but I think the sentiment is the same.

And I still don’t get the “joke” in SS. So his dad is a regular salesman? But he’s still absent all the time, so either he’s an indentured servant having to work every open hour then hours more in cleaning the store to spotlessness and probably having to do weekly inventory checks; or else he’s off boozing and carousing in cheap motel at salesmen’s “conferences” most weekends.

Guh, 67 words and 5 minutes wasted on Snuffy Smith.
Anonymoose
September 24th, 2008 at 3:09 pm [Reply]

@ 33 Gold-Digging Nanny
You seem to be conspicuously missing “The Sackinator”. Other possible additions to your list include: The Sackening, Sack-o-rama, and The Sackster. (Sadly, any of these options are more viable in real life conversation than Sackodog)
Jeremiah
September 24th, 2008 at 3:11 pm [Reply]

Kudos to MT for attempting to make “writers” into a group to be feared. I can just the guy on the other end of the conversation sweating profusely and lamenting, “A writer? Dear God, not a writer! Don’t you know how many of those I’ve had to scrap off the grill of my Hummer last month?”

I also like how Tommie of A3G is trying to channel Clara Bow… or trying to keep her head from falling off.
Niall
September 24th, 2008 at 3:13 pm [Reply]

2. Pigita: I only took 5 minutes, and still didn’t get the joke. Your 80 minutes have helped illuminate me to the true “joke” in Snuffy Smith.

I can’t figure out if it makes me happier, or if it would make you happier too or not as well.
Snuffed Smith
September 24th, 2008 at 3:19 pm [Reply]

Google Barney, and you will get the key to today’s Snuffy joke.
Ranger
September 24th, 2008 at 3:20 pm [Reply]

GT: Not only did 6′ 9″ Jeff Ponczak tackle the QB, he also gave him a few good kicks to his midsection for good measure. Way to teach that sportsmanship Gil. I am also convinced the Jeff is his middle name while 6′9″ is his first name as that is how he is always referred to. Contrary to popular belief, there is no one over 5′10″ in Milford.
Anonymous
September 24th, 2008 at 3:20 pm [Reply]

The look on Jughaid’s face, as opposed to the usual tongue-attempts-a-daring-escape-from-mouth fare, indicates that he does not get today’s Snuffy Smith either.
Professor Fate
September 24th, 2008 at 3:23 pm [Reply]

Phantom: “You’ve gone round the bend” This from a man in a skintight purple costume with striped pants.

FW: “Such will power needs a reward” Now where’s that mescaline?
Sequitur
September 24th, 2008 at 3:24 pm [Reply]

Snuf Smth: Oh, God. I got the joke the first time. I need therapy. I have got to stop hangin’ ’round Hillbillies. (Or even Mountain Williams. These are the ones that live in Vail, CO.)
Sequitur
September 24th, 2008 at 3:28 pm [Reply]

Hey! I was so bummed out about Snuffy that I totally overlooked the racoons mating in MT.
ar_d
September 24th, 2008 at 3:35 pm [Reply]

Today Shoe has the audacity to tell someone else that they’re being too negative :P
Seismic-2
September 24th, 2008 at 3:35 pm [Reply]

The Wetlands Mall project is being drafted by Bradford Dillman, who almost always plays the white-collar villain in evil-corporation films. Even scarier than the prospects that MT may be moving to the big screen, though, is the way that it has taken over the other 2 comics on this page, with Mark’s fist o’justice creeping into the third panel of GT. At least the parasite-laden raccoon has come to his proper end (millinery), in today’s installment of “Snuffy vs. Sneaky”.
dreadedcandiru2
September 24th, 2008 at 3:35 pm [Reply]

Heads up!! Lynn’s website designer has just made a career of designing homepages for irrelevant comic strips. I mean, how long has it been since BC and Wizard of Id mattered?
Gold-Digging Nanny
September 24th, 2008 at 3:40 pm [Reply]

45 Anonymoose — How could I have missed Sackinator and Sackster?

Any others?
Angry Kem
September 24th, 2008 at 3:43 pm [Reply]

…I got the joke the first time. I must be unbearably lame.

And here I sit, pondering that greatest of all great questions: how the hell did anyone think the final panel of today’s Gil Thorp was a good idea?
Jeff
September 24th, 2008 at 3:44 pm [Reply]

Crock writer Don Wilder died this morning.
http://www.editorandpublisher.com/eandp/departments/syndicates/article_display.jsp?vnu_content_id=1003854705
Pozzo
September 24th, 2008 at 3:45 pm [Reply]

Sequitur (#52) – The “Billies” to “Williams” motif reminds me of when the Houston Oilers moved to Tennessee to be known as the Tennessee Oilers for a season before changing to the Titans. (Personally, I wish they had kept the original name, perpuating the mismatched-moniker trope forged ty the LA Lakers and the Utah Jazz.)

At the time, I proposed that the Buffalo Bills move instead, changing their names to the Tennessee Williams.
gh
September 24th, 2008 at 3:47 pm [Reply]

I?GT —

And from that day forth, Jeff Ponczak was known as Sacajawea for leading his team through the gap in the defensive line and okay this isn’t working.

And from that day forth, Jeff Ponczak was known as El Sacerdote [The Priest] for his habit of praying over the crumpled, lifeless bodies of the quarterbacks he sacked. Mmmm. Better. Still not great.

And from that day forth, Jeff Ponczak was known as Sacroliliac, the strong, weightbearing synovial joint with irregular elevations and depressions because that’s kind of what he looked like in the third panel jeez what IS that thing?

You can pay me to stop, you know.
dimestore lipstick
September 24th, 2008 at 3:49 pm [Reply]

Gold Digging Nanny–

SACK-tacular….
SACK-re bleu…
SACK-ajawea…
SACK-roiliac…
I used to do a mean Rob Schneider impression, back in the day.
Seismic-2
September 24th, 2008 at 3:50 pm [Reply]

Six-foot nine-inch Sackquatch!!!
Sequitur
September 24th, 2008 at 3:51 pm [Reply]

#60 Pozzo
Good one! They could also move to South America and be called the Andes Williams.
Gold-Digging Nanny
September 24th, 2008 at 3:51 pm [Reply]

59 Jeff — Thanks for the heads up. We should allow ourselves a brief period of mourning. Then, everybody, grab a shotgun, an axe, or a cricket bat. I know it sounds horrific to be talking about things like this so soon after his death, but we cannot allow ourselves to be blinded to the fact that there is a zombie epidemic on the funny pages.
Naked Bunny with a Whip
September 24th, 2008 at 3:52 pm [Reply]

I used to do a mean Rob Schneider impression

I’m in love.
Andrew Leal
September 24th, 2008 at 3:53 pm [Reply]

Farewell, Alan, you incredibly bland, jerkish drug addict you. I’m not up to checking whether A3-G’s body count is about as low as Mary Worth’s was pre-Aldo. Perhaps this is the start of a mass purge of all the male characters who folks can’t keep straight. NEXT: Eric is lynched by Himalayan guerillas!
dimestore lipstick
September 24th, 2008 at 3:53 pm [Reply]

gh-
D’oh! That’ll teach me to wait till after my work was done to post my reply.
Sequitur
September 24th, 2008 at 3:53 pm [Reply]

#59 Jeff
Ya notice he was in the CIA? The whole strip was code!
Gold-Digging Nanny
September 24th, 2008 at 3:58 pm [Reply]

Now please excuse me while I go down to the pub for a pint and a packet of crisps. And a pool cue.
Pozzo
September 24th, 2008 at 3:59 pm [Reply]

#62: Oh, I thought it was Kevin Nealon. Never mind…

(No, dammit; that’s Gilda!)
gh
September 24th, 2008 at 4:00 pm [Reply]

#68 dimestore lipstick –

I, on the other hand, was thinking: That close to being gunned down like Alan. Let’s just write it off to Great Minds Synchronicity.
Saddest Elf in Christmastown
September 24th, 2008 at 4:00 pm [Reply]

How can you all be joking at a time like this??? Alan is dead. DEAD!!!!!
CJColucci
September 24th, 2008 at 4:02 pm [Reply]

Isn’t 81 a number for a wide receiver or tight end, not a defensive player?
Skullturf Q. Beavispants
September 24th, 2008 at 4:03 pm [Reply]

Re: Don Wilder

As with the death of anyone, particularly a cartoonist, I’m saddened to hear the news, and wish the best to his family.

Having said that, am I a bad person for finding it funny that the linked article makes absolutely no mention of the strip’s influence or any critical praise it may have received?

“The strip appeared in [this many] newspapers, and included characters named [name 1], [name 2], and [name 3].”
Sequitur
September 24th, 2008 at 4:05 pm [Reply]

#74 CJColucci
81 is the square of 9 and the 4th power of 3.
willieO
September 24th, 2008 at 4:07 pm [Reply]

Ponczak then misinterprets “Sackodog” to mean literally, “You, Jeff Ponczak, are a sack of dogs!”, and shatters the spine of his dumbfounded teammate. Later, he is charged with attempted murder, the judge comments, “Seriously, who talks like that? How would you expect someone to react? Case Dismissed.”
Seismic-2
September 24th, 2008 at 4:11 pm [Reply]

74 – Yes, 6′9″ Ponczak has been catching passes all up and down the field in Milford’s first two games, but he was sent in on this play specifically to block the pass.

The sackmeister is a man of many positions.
Muffaroo-who-walks
September 24th, 2008 at 4:18 pm [Reply]

MTrail – For a habitat that’s supposedly becoming inhospitable to animals, this one is certainly holding more than its share of critters. I expect to see them start crowding the people out of the panel soon, like the vintage cartoon characters who used to stand around waving in lieu of any jokes in “Sam’s Strip.”

Mduke – “No, Marmaduke. I said ‘my ass and your face,’ not ‘your ass in my face.’”

Marvin – It’s marginally funnier (hey, anybody remember “Marginal Marvin”?) to ignore the dialog and imagine that they’re just making baby noises like untranslated Sugar and Spike: “Glaaah! Shpltz!” It’s still not hilarious, but ‘marginally funnier’ represents a giant baby step for this strip.

MWorth – Okay, Toby, she’s almost finished with her PSA. For god’s sake, you can stop reeling any time now.

Phantom – Alone on a mountain, kills bats for their blood,
The crazy crook Chatu flamed out like a dud!
The stripe-ass avenger will put him away
And teach him that mugging small mammals won’t pay!

PCity – Not a real girl? Wait, really? How do they tell? Is this one of those things like how worms can tell each other apart and nobody else can?

Zippy – History lesson in disguise! The ur-pinhead “Zip the Human What-is-it”’s name was William Henry Jackson. Bill Griffith’s full name is William Henry Jackson Griffith (named for his great-grandfather, the very famous photographer William Henry Jackson, who took — wait for it — views of Yosemite).
The Unknown Librarian.
September 24th, 2008 at 4:20 pm [Reply]

An obscure librarian related one:

Saklad.

The librarians at Boston Public are now splitting a gut.
Muffaroo-who-walks
September 24th, 2008 at 4:21 pm [Reply]

Mollie @23 – I briefly worked at Rice University in Houston, and while I was there (circa 1983-5), my cousin filled me in on the state of Gil Thorp lore, which was already a cult in the Lone Star State. There was even a letter in the college paper from Gil one day, referring to his work at Kidswithproblems High. I suspect this wasn’t the onlytime they heard from Gil.

Anyway, the cool thing about Rice was that their football team had to get acceptable grades, so they weren’t big winners on the field, and as a result, their fans — in order to enjoy the game at all — developed Bad Sportsmanship into an art form. (Footnote: I learned from old campus newspapers that their traditional rival was Texas A&M. There were stirring accounts of clandestine missions to College Station to try and either steal A&M’s mascot, or to recover the stuffed owl mascot that A&M stole from Rice. This was in, like, 1917.)

Rice’s fans pulled stunts like dressing someone up as an A&M yell leader to lead uncomplimentary and scatological cheers against the Aggies. Also, whenever the opposing team scored on them, the stands would erupt with a disciplined unison cry of “AWWWW, SHIT! GOD-DAMN!”

Would that I had attended a game and witnessed it. I was almost tempted.
Baka Gaijin
September 24th, 2008 at 4:22 pm [Reply]

One Big Happy: Ruthie, take a chill pill. Really, a valium or xanax or a really big doobie.

Garfield: I admit it. I laughed at Garfield. Then I cried because I laughed at Garfield.

Cow and Boy: Win.
Ichi
September 24th, 2008 at 4:22 pm [Reply]

MT: You know if you just remove the villain’s mustache he kinda looks like someone else we know. Just sayin’ …

http://www.flickr.com/photos/15187477@N03/2885165869/
Patrick, Interlibrary Loan Lending Division
September 24th, 2008 at 4:22 pm [Reply]

The Other Side:

A3Styx: I don’t think Alan will be alone in his nebulous journey to the other side. If they ever get back to the Tibet sub sub sub sub plot, his boss Eric will be the next to die. At least it will be for love of family and the self-absorbed harridan Margo instead of just dope, dope, dope. In spite of the lame portrayal, I can respect dying for love.

9CL:After reading this with mixed emotions for about a year, I’ve reached the conclusion that this strip takes place in some kind of Sartre version of Hell. As in Hell is other people. Why else do they spend so much time walking solemnly side by side in completely empty space and tear each other apart? To ensure that the hell is complete, every now and then there will be a moment of tenderness and beauty only to plunge back into the supreme emptiness of what passes for their lives.

Thanks to the Monday strips, Dick Tracy, Crankshaft, Funky Winkerbean have dropped off my radar with no further curiosity or interest. Thanks to today’s strip, Mary Worth has done the same.

Reading Mary Worth is the equivalent of applying a local anesthetic to a part of your body that was not scheduled for surgery. The numbness is so powerful, you can’t even hate it like FOOB. I look forward to using the time for something else.
BigTed
September 24th, 2008 at 4:28 pm [Reply]

Who knew that being an “outdoor writer” was so dangerous? I always thought the worst threats they faced were from angry grizzlies, or late-paying freelance outlets.
Perky Bird
September 24th, 2008 at 4:29 pm [Reply]

# 81 Muffaroo:

Ah, Texas football traditions! I still fonldy remember throwing tortillas during the games at Texas Tech.
teegee
September 24th, 2008 at 4:30 pm [Reply]

A little trick or treat from The Sack’O'Lantern! He lit him up …
Michael
September 24th, 2008 at 4:37 pm [Reply]

MT: Is that a banyan tree growing in Pop’s swamp? The only places in the U.S. where banyans are found are southern Florida and Hawaii.
Paul1963
September 24th, 2008 at 4:38 pm [Reply]

Looking at Evil Corporation Guy in today’s Mark Trail, I can only conclude that, for some reason much more interesting than anything likely to happen in the strip during the course of this storyline, he has applied a huge fake moustache for the purpose of posing as his own twin brother.
D/N
September 24th, 2008 at 4:41 pm [Reply]

So, Sackodog’s got a freakishly huge build, obvious criminal tendencies that include brutally assaulting QBs AFTER he’s tackled them, a clearly insane pirate/goth girlfriend who’s probably sewing his supervillain costume as we speak, and hordes of brainwashed henchmen who cheer him as he glares maniacally into the heavens and contemplates world domination. Thank god Spider-Man finally showed up.
Seismic-2
September 24th, 2008 at 4:43 pm [Reply]

“How come yore Paw ain’t never home, Jamey?”
“He’s a travelin’ salesman!!”
“Honest?”!
“Naw… he’s really a outdoors ‘riter!!!”
Donald The Anarchist
September 24th, 2008 at 4:44 pm [Reply]

#46 Oh but Mark is a PUBLISHED WRITER, which means that Cherry runs the mimeogaph machine into the ground EVERY TWO MONTHS to make sure all fifty subscribers are kept up to date. Printing costs are covered by Whitey’s Fishing Camp; the ad space doesn’t really increase their revenue but the $100 a year it costs them (OK, it’s padded a bit) puts their business expenses just over the line to get them into a new tax bracket.

GT Does someone different do the artwork in each panel? Or does the artist only have enough energy to put detail into one? One of the many puzzling things about this strip…
Poteet
September 24th, 2008 at 4:46 pm [Reply]

MT — My inner geek keeps brooding about how much more educational it would be to have a storyline about actual real-life wetland issues instead of a soon-to-be-punched strawman villain with a ’stache. My inner geek needs to get a clue.
Sunny Paris
September 24th, 2008 at 4:49 pm [Reply]

56– Thank you! For those of you who haven’t checked this site out yet, they should– and “meet the creators” of each. At one point, they actually say that all of them were hired because of their DNA. I mean, we would have figured that out, but it’s awesome all the same.
commodorejohn
September 24th, 2008 at 4:50 pm [Reply]

#90 D/N – If that were the case, wouldn’t Spider-Man be due to show up after about three weeks of rampaging, having finally been nagged into heroics by all the bad press he’s getting? If that is him today, he’s probably just asking if Sackmaster knows a good TV repairman.

#93 Poteet – Yeah, methinks that’s a little much sophistication to ask from Mark Trail.
Poteet
September 24th, 2008 at 4:50 pm [Reply]

JP drove me to hating golf, but GT merely reminds me that I hate football. And seeing that Sacko’s face is about to crack off in the third panel, revealing the Terminator-like machinery within his skull, doesn’t help.
commodorejohn
September 24th, 2008 at 4:53 pm [Reply]

#56 dreadedcandiru2, #94 Sunny Paris – Holy cow, Mason looks…like…not old. Like a pretentious young hipster who’s writing B.C. “ironically,” even. That’s actually kind of refreshing.
Laura Brown
September 24th, 2008 at 4:55 pm [Reply]

Josh — nothing to say about A3G, or do you think it deserves a post of its own?

At the very least, you must be admiring Tommie’s full-body head bobble.
Gal Friday
September 24th, 2008 at 5:03 pm [Reply]

#81 I’m an Aggie! And remember games with Rice fondly (mid 1980s). Especially when the MOB did a halftime tribute to the demise of Ma Bell: the band made the outline of a huge bell while a sousaphonist ran back and forth as the ball of the clapper. Priceless!
Anonymoose
September 24th, 2008 at 5:06 pm [Reply]

@ 92 Donald: As far as the art in GT, I assume we’re looking at rotoscoping for the most part in panels one and two, as opposed to the free-drawn panel three. Where they found a stock photo of a football player standing victoriously over a sacked opponent, wielding some sort of sinister blade or other implement, while his fallen foe attempts to exact revenge with his bared teeth, I’ll never know.
He Brought Queenie Baby Jesus
September 24th, 2008 at 5:06 pm [Reply]

“The right people on our side” obviously refers to one of the many identical bunches of fat hillbillies in overalls (one of whom is bald).
gnome de blog
September 24th, 2008 at 5:06 pm [Reply]

I think No. 81’s full name is”6-9 Jeff Ponczak” – or more formally, “6-foot-9-inch Jeff Ponczak.

And why hasn’t he been playing basketball? A shot-blocker in the middle and a real inside threat to complement Andrew what’s-his-name would’ve guaranteed the Mudlarks a spot in the playdowns for sure.

By the way, does anybody know if they really say “playdowns” in Michigan?
Gal Friday
September 24th, 2008 at 5:06 pm [Reply]

(DT)GT: “One of us! One of us!”

PS: It can’t be Spider-Man–he only watches sports on TV.

A3G: RIP Alan!
dale
September 24th, 2008 at 5:07 pm [Reply]

Gil Thorp
Jeff makes one lucky play and he’s got a big-time appelation before the stadium clears out?
It’s not like he just won the Battle of the Neva!
Jana C.H.
September 24th, 2008 at 5:11 pm [Reply]

#83 — Ichi–

“MT: You know if you just remove the villain’s mustache he kinda looks like someone else we know. Just sayin’ …”

Except the ’stached Mark Trail has had his nose broken. I wonder who did that.

Jana C.H.
Seattle
Saith Floss Forbes: If you don’t know the tune, sing tenor.
Seismic-2
September 24th, 2008 at 5:16 pm [Reply]

81 – I’m an alum of a school that had the same problem as Rice (football team had to maintain good grades, and in tough courses). The school had seven letters in its name, so let’s call it “Harvard”. (It wasn’t.) Then toward the end of a game against, say, Princeton, in which we were being slaughtered by 52-0 or some such, our cheerleaders would lead the fans in a rousing cheer:
Cheerleaders: “Give me an ‘H’!!!”
Crowd: “F!!!!!
Cheerleaders: “Give me an ‘A’!!!”
Crowd: “U!!!!”
Cheerleaders: “Give me an ‘R’!!!”
Crowd: “C!!!”
etc., though all seven letters. Then at the end:
Cheerleaders: “What’s that spell???”
Crowd: “PRINCETON!!!!”
Islamorada Girl
September 24th, 2008 at 5:23 pm [Reply]

SS: And Jamey’s dad is Willie Loman. It explains so much.
Vince M
September 24th, 2008 at 5:27 pm [Reply]

Wow, today’s GT looks a lot like the college flashback in ‘The Venture Bros.’ where Brock is thrown off the team for accidentally killing Tommy the quarterback.
gh
September 24th, 2008 at 5:27 pm [Reply]

#92 Donald the Anarchist –

GT Does someone different do the artwork in each panel?

Ahem. And complete with unintelligible symbols. How (DT)GT!

http://joshreads.com/?p=973#comment-187434
sackobats :[
September 24th, 2008 at 5:27 pm [Reply]

86. Perky Bird: we University of Arizona Wildcats toss our tortillas at commencement.
The last president we had got all huffy and condemned it as a waste of food (kind of like we condemned him for wasting a lot of university funds on Stupid Stuff); we have a much better president now.
eriblis
September 24th, 2008 at 5:28 pm [Reply]

A3G, I have never posted before but this I have to post on this:

Margo being called to identify Alan’s body: “Well that could be Alan, or one of the guys who are chasing Tommy, or my boyfriend/fiance/guy I stalk. Ya know, all the guys look alike around here for some reason.”
Orange Doorhinge
September 24th, 2008 at 5:39 pm [Reply]

A3G: Eric dying for love. Maybe. As it says in Shakespeare “Men have died and worms eaten them, but not for love” (women are not mentioned)Or maybe it was the Bible. Old Testament? Or one of the lesser know Proverbs?

its true that more men have died for drugs than love, or even love of drugs.
Angry Kem
September 24th, 2008 at 5:44 pm [Reply]

#112 Orange Doorhinge: That’s Rosalind from As You Like It.
Orange Doorhinge
September 24th, 2008 at 5:48 pm [Reply]

I still think the first panel of Gill looks like a roller derby. Is there such a thing as “Roller Football”? If not, there should be.
tonysoprano
September 24th, 2008 at 5:50 pm [Reply]

Here’s some context around Jeff. Until recently, I’ve been a regular contributor to “The Bucket”, the Gil Thorp’s web site message board where we poke merciless fun at the strip and each other, though many, many threads. The real Jeff Ponczak was also a regular contributor and went by the handle sackodog. Jeff unfortunately passed away a few months ago, but it’s great the strip’s new author decided to include his name, and Bucket handle, in this latest storyline.

I knew Jeff, even went to a party at his house, and he was one of the nicest guys I ever met. Please, stop using the scrotum references, he doesn’t deserve it. I understand none of you really knew this, and I’m all for 5th grade humor, but this one is a littel close to me. And only a Bucketeer would know why I spelled littel that way.
boojum
September 24th, 2008 at 5:52 pm [Reply]

Why was I only now informed that today is National Punctuation Day? Where are the parades, dammit?

Let us now praise punctuation. Celebrate it with jot and tittle, with vergule and separatrix, which sound dirty and aren’t, remotely. And let us vow never again to form the possessive of the pronoun it with an apostrophe!

Seriously. Everybody stop doing that. I’m gonna tell.
Milo
September 24th, 2008 at 5:57 pm [Reply]

I’m pretty sure the arm on Jeff’s shoulder belongs to Dr. Claw.

But why? How can Jeff help Dr. Claw defeat Inspector Gadget? Beat up a nerd in his high school to program Inspector Gadget for evil?
gnome de blog
September 24th, 2008 at 5:57 pm [Reply]

19 Idol of Mud said:

GT: How does Jeff block a pass if he’s coming at the QB from the side?

Because he’s 6-foot-9.

49, Ranger; 102, me:
I should have at least glanced through to see if somebody got there ahead of me.

115, tonysoprano:
Thanks for the reality check. It do take the edge off the snark – but I can’t help asking if the real Jeff Ponczak was 6-9.
thatquietkid
September 24th, 2008 at 5:59 pm [Reply]

See the suspicious look on the raccoon’s face in panel 1? I bet HE’S the one talking to the guy with a mustache!

If that’s true, then I can’t wait for Mark Trail to give that devious little scamp a painful right cross. I’m playing it in my head as I type.
Seismic-2
September 24th, 2008 at 6:01 pm [Reply]

116 – Hey, all you anal-retentive punctuation freaks: Up your’s!
Eldaglass
September 24th, 2008 at 6:03 pm [Reply]

I love how sad the raccoons look in the first panel of Mark Trail. It is because their wetlands are being drained? Or because one of their own has been kidnapped by the Johnson family and forced to wear the moniker “Sneaky”?
Daveh
September 24th, 2008 at 6:04 pm [Reply]

The last panel of GT- the “Sacker-in-Chief” has this far away look in his eyes. He’s gotta be wired up to the gills- wonder if it was he who took Alan’s drugs?
Lazuli
September 24th, 2008 at 6:17 pm [Reply]

GT: Jeff Ponczak, after knifing the QB in a psychotic rage, succumbs entirely to hallucinations and stands staring heroically into the middle distance, cradling a tiny, malformed, sycophantic football player in his arms as the crowd cheers for him.
tonysoprano
September 24th, 2008 at 6:18 pm [Reply]

118, gnome
Jeff was more like 6-3, 6-4. After he passed away, a Chicago Tribune sports columnist wrote a nice tribute piece:

http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/chi-18-morrisseyjun18,0,799092.story?page=1

He WAS that great a guy.
jamoche
September 24th, 2008 at 6:19 pm [Reply]

Another Aggie here! Yes, the mid-80s, before Jackie Sherman started coaching the way all other coaches did (i.e., breaking NCAA rules) and Rice was the only team we could reliably beat.

Remember the mid-season comics in the Batt that showed the incredibly unlikely sequence of events that would have to take place in order for us to be conference champs?
jamoche
September 24th, 2008 at 6:24 pm [Reply]

Sherrill. Wonder where I got Sherman from?
gnome de blog
September 24th, 2008 at 6:32 pm [Reply]

If I remember right, Sherrill pretty much coached like everybody else when he was at Washington State, too.
Hank
September 24th, 2008 at 6:34 pm [Reply]

Life Imitates Mark Trail: Thieves Steal Puppy from 10-Year-Old Cancer Patient
Sam
September 24th, 2008 at 6:40 pm [Reply]

Not to mention the fact that Jeff is either melting or leprous.
Idols of Mud
September 24th, 2008 at 6:42 pm [Reply]

gnome (#118): The guy must have knocked the ball into his hands, do-see-doed with the lineman and then sacked him. Conversely, the quarterback could have frozen up, muted by the rivers of sweat on Jeff’s head, and bent to his will.
Gal Friday
September 24th, 2008 at 6:45 pm [Reply]

#125, 126, 127–well, other coaches don’t/didn’t castrate a goat before games (as Sherrill did at Miss State for some reason–to make a point to the team). =:-O
Anonymous
September 24th, 2008 at 6:53 pm [Reply]

SS: You know I read it as “really a salesman?” “No, just kidding!”

GT: I think 81’s about to do a victory kick to the face for good measure. Re: “Sacko” in panel 3: Don’t do drugs, kids.
Lisa
September 24th, 2008 at 6:54 pm [Reply]

I have liked the last couple of days of 9CL. Amos is finally getting some balls! Yahoo!!
commodorejohn
September 24th, 2008 at 7:06 pm [Reply]

#131 Gal Friday – Don’t tell Fable! I don’t know if he could handle that…
JH Pants
September 24th, 2008 at 7:14 pm [Reply]

I wish they’d change “The SackMaster’s” jersey number to 69. After all, barely a strip goes by without mention of his height. Is that his only distinguishing characteristic? I’m more alarmed by his freakish hands and his cold, dead eyes.
JH Pants
September 24th, 2008 at 7:19 pm [Reply]

I just realized I used the terms “SackMaster,” “69,” and “strip” in a snark about Gil Thorp. My apologies for any unpleasant associations this may have caused.
Ichi
September 24th, 2008 at 7:20 pm [Reply]

#105 Jana – No doubt he himself in a fit of ’stache loathing.
Lisa
September 24th, 2008 at 7:21 pm [Reply]

JH, I figured you meant the connotations thereof.
wicked-witch
September 24th, 2008 at 7:25 pm [Reply]

Not that this has ever mattered to Gil Thorp’s artists, but have they ever seen a high schooler who is taller than 6′5″? Invariably these kids are built like string beans. Sacko-man the Quarterback Straddler must have gone through puberty at age 10. Certainly explains some things.
wicked-witch
September 24th, 2008 at 7:27 pm [Reply]

PS – Way to go with this entry, Josh. I’m buying your milkshake, if you know what I mean.
Baron Bizarre
September 24th, 2008 at 7:33 pm [Reply]

Animal Crackers: My first reaction on finding this on-line was: “Holy crap, is this waste of space still being published?”

My seocnd reaction was: “Back in my day, we didn’t HAVE shit jokes in the newspaper – we had to make up our own!”

Do no old comic strips ever die?
Joe Blevins
September 24th, 2008 at 7:48 pm [Reply]

MT: Look out, Random White Mustachioed White Dude! The Id Monster from Forbidden Planet is sneaking up right behind you!
Annon
September 24th, 2008 at 7:51 pm [Reply]

BG and SS My first take was that he meant a “regular” (i.e., non-travelin’) salesman. Really, this strip has no right to be even slightly confusing, even for a nanosecond.
Baron Bizarre
September 24th, 2008 at 7:56 pm [Reply]

It took me awhile to get Snuffy, too – I had this grand epiphany: “Ah, I see! He means to imply that honest salesmen are not the kind that one regularly encounters. Hmm. Very interesting. We will worship Vaal, now.”
gustav
September 24th, 2008 at 8:04 pm [Reply]

60-

I always wanted to call them the Tennessee Tuxedos
(they CANNOT fail!)

GT- in panel three would that sweat be from “roid rage”?
jamoche
September 24th, 2008 at 8:12 pm [Reply]

Yep. But pre-Sherill, the Aggies played by the rules, as much as any college team ever does. So we lost a lot relative to other schools our size. Granted, it had only been about 20 years since they dropped the requirement that people be in the Corps, so we’d also grown rather quickly.
Les of the Jungle Patrol
September 24th, 2008 at 8:16 pm [Reply]

Am I only the only one getting the subtle joke about constipation in the hillbilly comic?
Anonymous
September 24th, 2008 at 8:26 pm [Reply]

SACKODOOOG
The Paradox
September 24th, 2008 at 8:32 pm [Reply]

Holy shit, Jeff Ponczak was a real person? Since when does Gil Thorp do tribute pieces?
The Paradox
September 24th, 2008 at 8:36 pm [Reply]

Sally Forth- So is Ted gonna nail this new broad or what? She’s way hotter than the flake he’s married to now…
TromboneGuy
September 24th, 2008 at 8:43 pm [Reply]

Snuffy Smith reminds me of a Monty Python sketch.

– Burglar!

– You’re not an encyclopedia salesman, are you?

9CL: This strip reminds me of a friend of mine at a music school in NYC. A LOT.

And how did this become a football fans’ reunion?
We of the University of Oklahoma just throw oranges.
commodorejohn
September 24th, 2008 at 8:44 pm [Reply]

#150 The Paradox – Damn, am I the only one around here that thinks Sally is kinda hot in a MILF-ey way?
Black Drazon
September 24th, 2008 at 8:50 pm [Reply]

I don’t follow Gil Thorp enough to keep track of all the characters, twists or turns, but to whomever that is in the centre of panel three: Dear Podperson, your mask is peeling. Signed, Disturbed.
Rodney King
September 24th, 2008 at 9:07 pm [Reply]

I thought it was tasteful that the syndicate cropped out the nightstick from the hand of the white-jerseyed football player hovering above the black-jerseyed football player in the 2nd panel of Gil Thorp.
The Paradox
September 24th, 2008 at 9:31 pm [Reply]

152- Sally’s not without her qualities, commodore, but c’mon, when the chips are down you gotta go with young and blond. I say that because I’ve been married going on 16 years and haven’t had anything young and blond in, oh, about 17 years.

Yes, I’m a cad…
christian
September 24th, 2008 at 9:41 pm [Reply]

the guy in Mark Trail looks like J. Jonah Jameson, especially in the 2nd panel
Shermy Glamrocker
September 24th, 2008 at 9:41 pm [Reply]

Seriously, does anyone these days describe their occupation as “travelin’ salesman”?
Angry Kem
September 24th, 2008 at 9:46 pm [Reply]

#157 Shermy Glamrocker: Does anybody these days do anything that relates even remotely to the world of BG&SS? It is drawn like a strip from 1919. It is written like a strip from 1919. Oh, hell…I think I’m being unfair to 1919. At any rate, it needs to die a slow, painful death. I’m thinking we feed it to rabid badgers.
Gold-Digging Nanny
September 24th, 2008 at 9:58 pm [Reply]

158 Angry Kem — Okay by me, but either make sure the badgers eat every last scrap or bring your shotgun/axe/cricket bat along. I’m telling you, the zombie strips are out there….
teenchy
September 24th, 2008 at 10:16 pm [Reply]

#100: Where they found a stock photo of a football player standing victoriously over a sacked opponent, wielding some sort of sinister blade or other implement, while his fallen foe attempts to exact revenge with his bared teeth, I’ll never know.

I’ll venture a guess that this shot, famous in Philadelphia, served as inspiration.
survivor
September 24th, 2008 at 10:17 pm [Reply]

I just learned that an outdoor writer is visiting Pop Johnson … he might cause us some problems!

Don’t worry about it. We have the right people on our side!

Good. I sure don’t want anyone else getting ill. Do you think your people can help this outdoor writer in case he contracts the West Nile virus that’s been killing all of the deer?

Not to worry. And I think we can finally put Pop Johnson under arrest after illegally squatting on our property for years. He and his familly will get the help that they need against this potentially deadly virus.

That’s very relieving news. So will you join me for the wildlife fundraising dinner next week-

PARDON ME, BUT THIS IS ONE PHONE CALL I MUST INTERUPT!

My door! Who are you?

I WILL TEACH YOU FOR DRAINING ALL THE WATER!

Draining the water? To where? Our company uses very eco-friendly retention basins that is located near the migratory patterns of the-

KAPOW! *Urrrrgh!”

The bones of the skull are designed to withstand some hard knocks. Most of the time, a blow to the head causes nothing more serious than a swollen bump, or “goose egg.”

Why are you hitting me? I just wanted to- KAPOW!

But some injuries to the head can be serious, even life-threatening. The brain is a delicate organ, and head injuries are dangerous when they cause bleeding and/or swelling inside the skull.

Are you mad? KAPOW!

When someone receives a hard blow to the head, it is very important to carefully monitor him or her for 24 hours, watching out for signs of moderate or severe head injury.

I…I feel numbness in my legs! KAPOW!

If you suspect that there may be an injury to the spine, do not move the person unless there is an immediate, life-threatening danger. Keep the head and neck stable by placing your hands on both sides of the injured person’s head, keeping it in line with the spine and preventing movement. Continue to hold the head still and in alignment until medical help arrives.

ughhhhhh. … Dabadaba … uhhhhh. Ackabadaba. KAPOW!

In the case of a blow to the head that results in a subdural hematoma, or blood collecting on the surface of the brain, often the person seems fine at first, but gets worse over the next few days or weeks, with increasing levels of confusion.
MeganKoumori
September 24th, 2008 at 10:27 pm [Reply]

I call foul on Snuffy Smith! I’ve read this joke before, but it wasn’t ’salesman’, it was ‘lawyer’!
Norm
September 24th, 2008 at 10:32 pm [Reply]

Jeffy “Sack-of-all-trades” Ponczak is the king of sack. He humiliates his victims with his trade mark “sack-attack”, a degrading ritual where Ponczak runs his sweaty scrotum along the face of the victim, followed by a forced teabagging (This is alluded to in panel 2… Observe his fierce posture).
Godjesus
September 24th, 2008 at 10:59 pm [Reply]

That kid in Gil Thorpe is probably a defensive end, not a defensive back.
commodorejohn
September 24th, 2008 at 11:02 pm [Reply]

#161 survivor – “More information about brain damage resulting from severe concussions can be found on the Internet.”
Muffaroo-who-walks
September 24th, 2008 at 11:11 pm [Reply]

boojum @116 – National Punctuation Day? Let’s have a word (and my favorite quote) from Charly Gordon:

She said; You, got. to-mix? them! up: She showd? me” how, to mix! them;

Seismic-2 @116 – Sir, I’m an anal-retentive punctuation freak, but by god (this one’s for you) I admire you’re spirit!
True Fable
September 24th, 2008 at 11:26 pm [Reply]

#131 Gal Friday – WHAT?!?? #*($)&%@$!!!

Miss. State is now dead to me!
NoVan
September 24th, 2008 at 11:52 pm [Reply]

High five for being an east coast elitist, Josh! *high-fiving sound* After all, our founding fathers were all from the East Coast!
Simple J. Malarkey
September 24th, 2008 at 11:58 pm [Reply]

“Don’t worry about it. We have the right people on our side!” sounds very much like something that Hunter S. Thompson might say to Ralph Steadman or Oscar Acosta upon their coming down from a twisted ether binge to discover that Jann Wenner, Patty Hearst, and John Belushi had all just OD’ed in the Thompson suite at the Riot House.

I, for one, welcome the introduction of gonzo outdoor journalism to Mark Trail.
Carly
September 25th, 2008 at 12:02 am [Reply]

Looks to me like Jeff’s face is melting off.

Is it really a sack in the bizarre situation described by the writer? Weirdness. Also, “Sacko?” “Sackodog?” The first one especially is awfully close to both “sicko” and “psycho” to make viable nicknames, unless you’re a crazy-child molester in a potato sack.
Gal Friday
September 25th, 2008 at 12:04 am [Reply]

#167 Sorry, Fable! I don’t believe Miss. State knew about it–Sherrill did it on his own. I read about it in an article on Sherrill in Sports Illustrated a while ago (about how Sherrill was the college football prince of darkness).
LTBF
September 25th, 2008 at 12:05 am [Reply]

#6-Actually, Brett Farve completed his first professional pass to himself in just such a manner.
Gal Friday
September 25th, 2008 at 12:07 am [Reply]

A quick Google search (not Barney) finds that Sherrill did castrate a bull to “motivate” the M. State team before they played University of Texas in 1992. Ugh.
LTBF
September 25th, 2008 at 12:09 am [Reply]

Sherril actually had a bull castrated in front of his players. They were playing the Texas Longhorns and he was using it as a motivational tool. MSU has a vet school and somebody from there did the operation.
Gadge Cubic, Mole Preener
September 25th, 2008 at 12:17 am [Reply]

#5 Kevin Moore, Kevin Moore, dum-dum dum duh-dyyyy: Irony is forbidden by law in “Mark Trail.” If Mark ever so much as catches the merest whiff of the stuff, why his fist will move so fast that irony will have been knocked out the day before and gone crawling coweringly back to Alanis Morissette’s skirts.
Gadge Cubic, Mole Preener
September 25th, 2008 at 12:24 am [Reply]

Never mind God making rocks so big he can’t move them: what would happen if Chuck Norris strolled into Lost Forest and his mustache antagonized Mark Trail’s Right Fist o’ Justice?
boojum
September 25th, 2008 at 12:48 am [Reply]

120 Seismic-2:

Oh, my. Comma after the initial interjection; hyphen in ‘anal-retentive’; introductory semicolon (with correctly capitalized initial word of following phrase); single exclamation point to close. You, sir, are a giant among insects, and I would like to buy you a beer.
sackobats :[
September 25th, 2008 at 1:12 am [Reply]

A few Thursday observations:

JP: just wondering what kind of kid would result from the union of stripey-bottomed Phantom and paisley-butted Dixie Julep.

MW: yes, Toby, SO MUCH to think about! In the words of Barbie: “Math is hard! Let’s go shopping!”

Phantom: whoa! speaking of stripey bottoms!

9CL: oh, come on, Amos — this trip to Brussels isn’t important! It isn’t ALL ABOUT EDDA! Silly twit.
Poteet
September 25th, 2008 at 1:14 am [Reply]

MT — But they don’t KNOW what’s going on, and they haven’t even bothered to try to find out! *grinds teeth*
Fra Bunnë, Official Comic Execrator
September 25th, 2008 at 1:24 am [Reply]

MT: I think we are being set up here to meet Mark Trail’s evil twin, who I will call Dark Trail.

Thank you, thank you.

Speaking of thanks: Pigita, your 80 readings of BG&SS saved me from doing the same. Sadly, I must confess I didn’t get the joke until you explained it. Though, actually, I just gave up pretty quickly. I kinda thought I did get it, and it just wasn’t funny; instead, I didn’t get it, and it just wasn’t funny.
Cheese-n-Pear
September 25th, 2008 at 1:33 am [Reply]

A3G: All right! We get it, already! If you do generic, unspecified, “dope,” you’ll die frustrated and forgotten, your life work lost in your own self destruction. On the other hand, if you huff gas fumes and imagine you’re visited by the ghosts of lesser-known modernist artists, then you might be remembered for having painted some sad-eyed clowns and ugly still-lifes.

Archie: The ALGU3000 again slips up, not realizing that we carbon life-forms do not perceive sounds, disgusting or otherwise, with our eyes.

DT: Oh, so now any handy name can be short for any longer name? Or does that only apply to things that have strangely shortened forearms?

MW: If I didn’t already know about online scams, I’d sure be confused by now. So I shouldn’t trust anyone who calls me? Maybe we’ll be treated to Toby telling off Prof. Chinbeard the next time he calls home.

Phantom: This lecture on irrational behavior would be more effective if it weren’t being delivered by a guy who runs around in a lavender suit with striped short shorts.
sackobats :[
September 25th, 2008 at 2:10 am [Reply]

181. Cheese-n-Pear re JP: lecture? wha…where? Huh! Oh, all right, I wasn’t paying attention…
http://www.flickr.com/photos/9545446@N07/2887095758/sizes/o/
Follower
September 25th, 2008 at 4:06 am [Reply]

Anal-retentive punctuation freaks may be annoying, but it’s the people who complain about spelling who are the real loosers.
rotts
September 25th, 2008 at 7:39 am [Reply]

116 – or ANY plurals with apostrophe-esses!

120/177 – but where’s the double-space after the colon, huh?
Tom
September 25th, 2008 at 8:11 am [Reply]

I thought it was Spider-Man, too. But I’ll happily applaud The Mummy ripping him to pieces, if that manages to happen.
Paul1963
September 25th, 2008 at 12:07 pm [Reply]

BG & SS: He’s not an honest traveling salesman, he’s the regular kind. Meaning “not honest.”
Oh, my sides. I can’t breathe.
kingklash
September 25th, 2008 at 12:10 pm [Reply]

*insert “Sackmaster” joke here*
Muffaroo-who-walks
September 25th, 2008 at 12:47 pm [Reply]

With the advent of word processing, double spacing anywhere has gone the way of the dodo. No more double spaces after periods. No more leaving three spaces between a two-letter state abbreviation and the zip code.

Slowly but surely, we’re losing our wide open spaces.

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